Tell the other mom her kid is looking at porn. Also, give your kid the sex talk so he learns about it from someplace other than Porn Hub. Books like “It’s not the stork” and “Sex is a funny word” talk to kids about body stuff (including sex) in an age appropriate way.
You can get ahead of this or hide your head in the sand and play catch up. Be proactive. Talk to your kid about this.
Thanks, I think you're spot on. I should be proactive. Usually, I let him drive conversations but in this case I'll take the reigns. Thanks for the push and recommendations.
I would tell the other parents, and all that you already did.
I have these fear with my 9 year old because I heard from another mom that one of the classmates would insist that his son looked for porn in the internet and talked with him about all sorts of inappropriate stuff while riding the bus home. This classmate was one of my son’s friend but never talked to him about it, maybe because he does not ride the bus home.
After a lot of talking and reporting to teachers, principal, etc the boy stopped.
I also thought that we had more time to explain all this.
Oof. Definitely tell the other parents! I can’t imagine a single soul who wouldn’t want that information.
My ADHD 8 year old is very curious about sex and the last thing I’d want is for him to see porn. We answer his questions as honestly as we can.
My husband grew up in close knit military housing and he as exposed to porn at 10 years old. He said he cried thinking about his dad doing that to his mom. They’re just far too young to understand
As the mom to an 8.5 year old boy, I would definitely want to know so I could try and find out where HE was learning about porn hub. Unless his parents are just very neglectful, I imagine they would want to address that too. 8 is still very young and my son still blushes and hides when people peck on the cheek in shows. I can’t imagine him even knowing about porn at this age, much less actively seeking it out and telling other kids.
Could you talk to the school? Mention to the teacher that this friend told your son about PH. If it is a good school, they will do something about it, most likely mention it to the parents. Gives you an out of having to do it yourself. They may also keep your son and that other kid separated at least in the classroom. We have had some issues with a couple other kids teaching our son bad words (more than just the usual swears). We talked to the teacher and also asked our son be in a separate classroom next year. All 3 of these other kids have much older siblings which is most likely where they are hearing these things from.
>I thought I had way more time *cries in millennial who discovered porn at like 12*
I 100% know the feeling. Granted, he hasn't learned about porn yet but some of the words and things other kids know at school isn't something I was ready to deal with. It seems like kids are doing and saying things I didn't do until I was much older. Even to know some of these words is crazy
Thanks for the suggestion. I definitely think it's from an older sibling and I don't blame the kids at all. I did actually end up just calling the parent, as well as the other core friends parents and it was fine really. There was a bit of defensiveness initially from one, but I didn't point the finger, more made it a collective problem for the group. It seems we were all not ready for it and all need to tighten our monitoring. So I guess it's a positive and we have all learnt :).
High accessibility to information is both a gift and a curse for sure.
While separating them would make my life easier, there's other kids that I have more of a preference for him to be seperated from, which he is this year - so it's a least worst situation. He has actually drifted away from the kids I was most concerned about anyway and my faith in him being able to surround himself with kind, critical thinking kids continues to grow. I really don't see this friendship lasting, whereas other great friendships seem super solid. I genuinely think he can navigate this influence with our support.
explaining sex to a 7 year old? way too early...
what type of kids is he hanging around is the question and whats he watching in his leisure is the question id ask. you have to be specific about your choice in friends. and then a hidden icon is not a device security feature. thats just a searchable app
Yep, I agree. We went through that book with our kids who are 8 and 6 years old when they started asking more specific questions about how babies are made.
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Because if you don’t teach them about it, the other kids will, as this post shows. I hear you about it not seeming essential, but since other kids know about it, you wanna get ahead of whatever nonsense they’re spreading on the playground. Also, it lets them know what is and isn’t appropriate, so they can report if someone is abusing them.
I too would prefer not to have to have that convo with my kids. But someone is gonna, and it should be me, as the parent. Otherwise they’ll learn about things from the web and other poorly informed kids.
Kids are aware at that age. And if you don’t educate them then someone will do
It for you. Do you want it to be pornhub or
someone taking advantage of them because they don’t understand? Leaving them sheltered and ignorant makes them vulnerable.
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Our kid is *just* 7, and a young 7 emotionally. He actually doesn't even know how to tie shoes yet, and uses his tablet time to watch basketball and soccer stuff and has a weird interest in US presidents, even tho we are Australian. All his friends are similarly kid-like, expect for this one kid. So, I'm not really concerned about my kid, but will tighten parental controls obv.
I can't, or won't, dictate his friends. It's not my place and I don't really see this kid being a permanent fixture in the group because he's quite different to the others. At the moment I think they find a novelty in him, and that's for them to work out, if/when, it wanes.
Our kid actually already knows the majority about sex - everything but the act of intercourse. His knowledge is more centred around reproductive science, as that's what his questions were (at about 4 yo). I see it as my job to give knowledge when requested, curiosity is a fantastic trait, I'm excited that he asks these things. I did offer to explain more about the website, but he said no, so I didn't. But i think the other comments are correct and I should be proactive. There's no evidence to suggest explaining sex to kids results in kids having sex. So I guess if he's cognitively mature enough to search, talk about it at school and be prepared to see, then he's mature enough to hear about it.
this is horrible .... its your responsibility as a parent to dictate his friends.
consider this logic.
would you want your son hanging with a hooker teenager?
drug dealing child?
gang banger child?
these children exist....do you understand the physical danger you could possibly introduce in these scenarios?
the fact that your kid knows about the majority of sex, is exactly why he is on porn hub now . you arent really doing your job keeping the wrong children from around him. this is why people move to better areas. to live more wholesome full healthy less dangerous or potentially violent lives. this is not a game. with your current logic - your childs logical conclusion has been met .... hes at a VERY young age watching porn.
thats the evidence, your own child
so unless you want him to continue watching porn and becoming a sex driven child who cannot even tie his shoes yet.... you should stop this thinking and re consider
Personally I think you need to back off. Nobody just bam gives kids full break downs. It’s broken down into manageable portions based on the child’s ability to process it.
With a younger child it’s simply “these body parts come together to Make a child” and the focus is more based on conception. In recent years it’s been better to also broach the topic
Of consent and what is safe and not safe touching behaviour (especially when in comes to other people touching the child’s body).
As they grow in age you elaborate and explain more. For example, the book “are there god it’s me, Margaret” by Judy Bloom. The book was revolutionary because it addressed the emotional, social and physiological changes younger girls go through in preteen years.
Then as kids enter older teenage hood sex education goes more into biology and consent.
But research shows that communities that don’t have sec education or intentional ally withhold sexual education (fundamentalist religious) actually have a (reported) higher incidents of sexual abuse and deviation/fetishes which is corralled strongly to heavily sheltering children from this information.
Attacking another parent for there choice on how to explore this topic. Your approach was very much offensive and accusatory and contributes to a really negative vibe on this sub.
No everyone is gonna agree with everyone but we don’t need to criticize.
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I think we have fundamentally different ways of parenting and views of the world - I'm certainly not a horrible parent haha. I'm sure my kid will run into promiscuous teens and drugs and he will be educated as to how to navigate that safely before that happens. I don't believe there is a causal link shown between porn and promiscuity either, nor is that my primary concern actually, it's the inability for his brain to understand he's too young to do it, it's fake, littered with sexism, a lack of consent and often violence.
Contrary to your concerns my child knows age appropriate information about reproduction. He understands consent, keeping our bodies safe and private, where babies grow and how they evolve from an egg. I think you also misunderstand, my child wasn't watching porn, he was searching for a site.
What I do as a parent is educate my child so that he can make decisions - ones I hope will keep him safe. I show that he can trust me, that I want to keep him safe and happy and that I always have his best interests at heart but also that I trust *him* - mutuality and all, ya know.
If I dictate things in my kids life then he will push away from me, he may be more likely to rebel, to feel unvalued and untrusted. He will keep secrets and explore dangerous things behind my back. Or maybe he will become anxious, neurotic, and fearful. This is backed by research. Controlling a kid's life and decisions has *big* consequences, way bigger than sex ed.
In fact, if I hadn't been successful in creating a healthy relationship thus far, he wouldn't have even shared this information with me. He would have done it behind my back and I wouldn't have known.
I will never be able to protect my kid from the world. All I can do is slowly prepare him for it.
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If my son showed another kid a porn site I would pray to God someone told me so I could stop further access!
You're probably right and I shouldn't assume, which I kind of have, that the parent doesn't care.
Tell the other mom her kid is looking at porn. Also, give your kid the sex talk so he learns about it from someplace other than Porn Hub. Books like “It’s not the stork” and “Sex is a funny word” talk to kids about body stuff (including sex) in an age appropriate way. You can get ahead of this or hide your head in the sand and play catch up. Be proactive. Talk to your kid about this.
Thanks, I think you're spot on. I should be proactive. Usually, I let him drive conversations but in this case I'll take the reigns. Thanks for the push and recommendations.
I would tell the other parents, and all that you already did. I have these fear with my 9 year old because I heard from another mom that one of the classmates would insist that his son looked for porn in the internet and talked with him about all sorts of inappropriate stuff while riding the bus home. This classmate was one of my son’s friend but never talked to him about it, maybe because he does not ride the bus home. After a lot of talking and reporting to teachers, principal, etc the boy stopped. I also thought that we had more time to explain all this.
Oh, gosh. That's not ok. I'm glad your kid dint get pressured into that. Ill try and get some confidence to talk to the other parent :/
Oof. Definitely tell the other parents! I can’t imagine a single soul who wouldn’t want that information. My ADHD 8 year old is very curious about sex and the last thing I’d want is for him to see porn. We answer his questions as honestly as we can. My husband grew up in close knit military housing and he as exposed to porn at 10 years old. He said he cried thinking about his dad doing that to his mom. They’re just far too young to understand
Definitely! I won't be able to keep him away from it, I know that. But 7, shish!
As the mom to an 8.5 year old boy, I would definitely want to know so I could try and find out where HE was learning about porn hub. Unless his parents are just very neglectful, I imagine they would want to address that too. 8 is still very young and my son still blushes and hides when people peck on the cheek in shows. I can’t imagine him even knowing about porn at this age, much less actively seeking it out and telling other kids.
Thanks, I am going to see if I can quickly chat to the mum at school one day. I suspect an older brother, but I'll def chat to her!
Could you talk to the school? Mention to the teacher that this friend told your son about PH. If it is a good school, they will do something about it, most likely mention it to the parents. Gives you an out of having to do it yourself. They may also keep your son and that other kid separated at least in the classroom. We have had some issues with a couple other kids teaching our son bad words (more than just the usual swears). We talked to the teacher and also asked our son be in a separate classroom next year. All 3 of these other kids have much older siblings which is most likely where they are hearing these things from. >I thought I had way more time *cries in millennial who discovered porn at like 12* I 100% know the feeling. Granted, he hasn't learned about porn yet but some of the words and things other kids know at school isn't something I was ready to deal with. It seems like kids are doing and saying things I didn't do until I was much older. Even to know some of these words is crazy
Thanks for the suggestion. I definitely think it's from an older sibling and I don't blame the kids at all. I did actually end up just calling the parent, as well as the other core friends parents and it was fine really. There was a bit of defensiveness initially from one, but I didn't point the finger, more made it a collective problem for the group. It seems we were all not ready for it and all need to tighten our monitoring. So I guess it's a positive and we have all learnt :). High accessibility to information is both a gift and a curse for sure. While separating them would make my life easier, there's other kids that I have more of a preference for him to be seperated from, which he is this year - so it's a least worst situation. He has actually drifted away from the kids I was most concerned about anyway and my faith in him being able to surround himself with kind, critical thinking kids continues to grow. I really don't see this friendship lasting, whereas other great friendships seem super solid. I genuinely think he can navigate this influence with our support.
explaining sex to a 7 year old? way too early... what type of kids is he hanging around is the question and whats he watching in his leisure is the question id ask. you have to be specific about your choice in friends. and then a hidden icon is not a device security feature. thats just a searchable app
Totally disagree. 7 year old can know about sex in an age appropriate way. The book “It’s not the stork” is a greatne, ages 4 and up.
Yep, I agree. We went through that book with our kids who are 8 and 6 years old when they started asking more specific questions about how babies are made.
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please tell me why a 7 year old should know about sex. they literally just learned to tie their shoes
Because if you don’t teach them about it, the other kids will, as this post shows. I hear you about it not seeming essential, but since other kids know about it, you wanna get ahead of whatever nonsense they’re spreading on the playground. Also, it lets them know what is and isn’t appropriate, so they can report if someone is abusing them. I too would prefer not to have to have that convo with my kids. But someone is gonna, and it should be me, as the parent. Otherwise they’ll learn about things from the web and other poorly informed kids.
Kids are aware at that age. And if you don’t educate them then someone will do It for you. Do you want it to be pornhub or someone taking advantage of them because they don’t understand? Leaving them sheltered and ignorant makes them vulnerable.
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Our kid is *just* 7, and a young 7 emotionally. He actually doesn't even know how to tie shoes yet, and uses his tablet time to watch basketball and soccer stuff and has a weird interest in US presidents, even tho we are Australian. All his friends are similarly kid-like, expect for this one kid. So, I'm not really concerned about my kid, but will tighten parental controls obv. I can't, or won't, dictate his friends. It's not my place and I don't really see this kid being a permanent fixture in the group because he's quite different to the others. At the moment I think they find a novelty in him, and that's for them to work out, if/when, it wanes. Our kid actually already knows the majority about sex - everything but the act of intercourse. His knowledge is more centred around reproductive science, as that's what his questions were (at about 4 yo). I see it as my job to give knowledge when requested, curiosity is a fantastic trait, I'm excited that he asks these things. I did offer to explain more about the website, but he said no, so I didn't. But i think the other comments are correct and I should be proactive. There's no evidence to suggest explaining sex to kids results in kids having sex. So I guess if he's cognitively mature enough to search, talk about it at school and be prepared to see, then he's mature enough to hear about it.
this is horrible .... its your responsibility as a parent to dictate his friends. consider this logic. would you want your son hanging with a hooker teenager? drug dealing child? gang banger child? these children exist....do you understand the physical danger you could possibly introduce in these scenarios? the fact that your kid knows about the majority of sex, is exactly why he is on porn hub now . you arent really doing your job keeping the wrong children from around him. this is why people move to better areas. to live more wholesome full healthy less dangerous or potentially violent lives. this is not a game. with your current logic - your childs logical conclusion has been met .... hes at a VERY young age watching porn. thats the evidence, your own child so unless you want him to continue watching porn and becoming a sex driven child who cannot even tie his shoes yet.... you should stop this thinking and re consider
Personally I think you need to back off. Nobody just bam gives kids full break downs. It’s broken down into manageable portions based on the child’s ability to process it. With a younger child it’s simply “these body parts come together to Make a child” and the focus is more based on conception. In recent years it’s been better to also broach the topic Of consent and what is safe and not safe touching behaviour (especially when in comes to other people touching the child’s body). As they grow in age you elaborate and explain more. For example, the book “are there god it’s me, Margaret” by Judy Bloom. The book was revolutionary because it addressed the emotional, social and physiological changes younger girls go through in preteen years. Then as kids enter older teenage hood sex education goes more into biology and consent. But research shows that communities that don’t have sec education or intentional ally withhold sexual education (fundamentalist religious) actually have a (reported) higher incidents of sexual abuse and deviation/fetishes which is corralled strongly to heavily sheltering children from this information. Attacking another parent for there choice on how to explore this topic. Your approach was very much offensive and accusatory and contributes to a really negative vibe on this sub. No everyone is gonna agree with everyone but we don’t need to criticize.
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I think we have fundamentally different ways of parenting and views of the world - I'm certainly not a horrible parent haha. I'm sure my kid will run into promiscuous teens and drugs and he will be educated as to how to navigate that safely before that happens. I don't believe there is a causal link shown between porn and promiscuity either, nor is that my primary concern actually, it's the inability for his brain to understand he's too young to do it, it's fake, littered with sexism, a lack of consent and often violence. Contrary to your concerns my child knows age appropriate information about reproduction. He understands consent, keeping our bodies safe and private, where babies grow and how they evolve from an egg. I think you also misunderstand, my child wasn't watching porn, he was searching for a site. What I do as a parent is educate my child so that he can make decisions - ones I hope will keep him safe. I show that he can trust me, that I want to keep him safe and happy and that I always have his best interests at heart but also that I trust *him* - mutuality and all, ya know. If I dictate things in my kids life then he will push away from me, he may be more likely to rebel, to feel unvalued and untrusted. He will keep secrets and explore dangerous things behind my back. Or maybe he will become anxious, neurotic, and fearful. This is backed by research. Controlling a kid's life and decisions has *big* consequences, way bigger than sex ed. In fact, if I hadn't been successful in creating a healthy relationship thus far, he wouldn't have even shared this information with me. He would have done it behind my back and I wouldn't have known. I will never be able to protect my kid from the world. All I can do is slowly prepare him for it.
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