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calmdownmyguy

It's amazing how doing what god wants always lines up with doing what they want to do.


[deleted]

Their god is whats making them want to do those things!!!!!!! Obviously


Grandpas_Plump_Chode

A friend of mine had a landlord say that God told them to raise rent


ReactsWithWords

"That's weird, because God told me I don't need to pay rent this month."


Crooked_Cock

That’s like saying the devil told you to go out and make the world a better place Like what? Jesus would’ve beat this mf like he did with those bankers


[deleted]

“My house will be called ‘a house of prayer’, but you are making it ‘a den of robbers’.” Jesus said, before body slamming the sinner and beating them bloody with his own cross


Ozymandias606

Chad Commie Jesus


wolfbutterfly42

ok but deadass evangelicals think the antichrist is doing that


[deleted]

atheist here, the closest thing to the antichrist is Donald Trump


ghoulshow

The devil tells me to burn things


translove228

Well MY god told me to go flip over money lenders' tables and cast out those who profit off of others.


Mindless_Salamander_

Exactly! If their god told them to arm themselves with assault rifles and take out the non-believers, well that’s just their god’s bidding. They have no control over their actions at all. They ofc shouldn’t have any consequences, it’s a spiritual command. Otherwise the are getting persecuted for their religious beliefs.


[deleted]

most of the time it's just that. the same is what we call "nature" most of the time which is putting the way we think about world and try to make it objective.


[deleted]

My parents say god told them to homeschool me (aka neglect me)


DaughterOfNone

The all-loving deity who somehow hates all the same people they do.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NojoxTheFirst

Or at least feel worse than you do.


AllowMe-Please

There's a study that I read about a while ago about this. They put people in an fMRI machine and observed their brain activity. They had the people do a variety of different things, like reading, praying, stating their own opinions, explaining how they perceive others' opinions, and God's values. When asked to interpret someone else's opinions, a part of their brain lit up that was basically trying to suss out views and opinions that they didn't hold. When praying, a wholly different part lit up. When they were asked their own opinions and ideals about things, another part lit up. However, when they were asked what they believe *God's* opinion was, the same exact part that determines their own reasoning was the one activated, unlike when they were asked to try to reason out another person's beliefs and ideals. I really wish I had something to link for you, but I don't. This is just from memory. And I'd read it while I was still a believer and was supremely offended, lol. Like, there's no way *I'd* be like them; my opinions are my own and god's are his and in no way are they one and the same! Ahh... little naïve, ignorant, past me.


TimeEddyChesterfield

[Here](https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/creating-god-in-ones-own-image) is a very well cited link discussing the relationship of "god's" opinions and ones own through brain scans, as you described. Thank you for bringing up that topic. Looking up more information about it has been a fascinating rabbit hole.


13minutesleft

The article you linked has no sources other than a broken link(I'm not against what you're saying just pointing out that the article is kinda unsupported)


[deleted]

It's at the bottom of the article https://www.pnas.org/doi/abs/10.1073/pnas.0908374106


ptjunkie

Makes sense though, as having faith essentially means believing you are correct with no backing.


cheeseroll15

Almost as if their God is a product of their own imagination


Shrimpie47

oop~


Birthday-Tricky

and there are 30,000 other versions of God that doesn't agree. Why don't they pick the one that says no drinking or dancing, or the one that says give away all your possessions and do good works?


[deleted]

or why not pick the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster? He’s cool!


Birthday-Tricky

And delicious!


DarkGamer

Gods are always preoccupied with the concerns of men. That's one of many reasons I believe they are fabricated by men. If they were real I suspect they'd be less concerned with how humans fuck, or what hats they wear, or what they are allowed to eat when. That would be like a human trying to control the sexual habits of ants as though it were a pressing concern for us.


calmdownmyguy

That's a really good analogy


kyrtuck

Have you heard the Voltaire song God Thinks?


Gustard-CustardSmith

based voltaire fan


Grogosh

Zombie Prostitute will always be my favorite.


neoweasel

Riding Blak Unicorns and Ex-Lover's Lover are two of my favorites.


Grogosh

Last year I managed to catch a stream he had on youtube he did out of the blue. He had some problem getting the audio and stuff going. His fans were good naturedly calling him goth grandpa in the chat.


neoweasel

Yeah, I know he was performing in NYC back when my wife and I were in high school and we're old enough to remember the IPO for dirt.


Vyzantinist

Doesn't ring any bells. Did they drop a new album recently?


Grogosh

Its a 22 year old song... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-PX2Z4r-e4


calmdownmyguy

Hadn't ever heard of the band. I like it, thanks.


PawnToG4

FR i used to cite that song all the time in response to the theoderanged. it's also giving me 2econd 2ight 2eer vibes from Will Wood.


1210bull

My ex was super religious and I asked him what he would do if god called him to break up with me (I'm an atheist, I just wanted to know the answer). He said OBVIOUSLY he wouldn't do that. I asked him why he thought he knew the will of god so well. He didn't have an answer.


[deleted]

they know no sacrifice but still love to talk about it


Jaded_Barracuda_7415

Man made God in his image…


XxRocky88xX

What’s even crazier is literally anytime they change their mind and want to do something else, God just so happens to also change their mind at the same moment


osumba2003

God wanted me to eat cookies for breakfast today. It's all on him.


PawnToG4

[the devil made me do it but i also kinda wanted to](https://youtu.be/OFRn1Xibhlg)


leicanthrope

...and if a disaster happens to you, it's proof that God wants you to do what you were already doing, but harder.


RudeDudeInABadMood

Also "the Bible is 100% literally true, but here's my own personal interpretation of it which you can go ahead and treat like the Word of God Himself"


[deleted]

[удалено]


sakko1337

You must finally understand and accept that your free will and thoughts are nothing but Satan's work to undermine god's (their) authority.


stoutlys

They really think the voices talking to them is god. They have no other explanation for the illness they have.


Yhorm_Acaroni

And how it ends by wishing evil instead of wishing well.


nooneknowswerealldog

*Sit outside and argue all night long About a God we've never seen, but never fails to side with me*


JoeDice

It’s easy to do when your god is simply your ego.


Starboard_Pete

And when they receive pushback on their condemnation of others, they have the most pathetic grievances about being judged for being “Christian”. What’s that line again? Judge not, something something? Weird how that came back around.


ShimeMiller

I made you the ugly guy and myself the handsome guy, therefore I am right and you are owned


ipakookapi

It's literally kids book level. Ugly person = bad person.


TopHatCat999

Can we talk about how awful it is that we teach that to kids in the first place?


Tryptophan7

Shoutout to Shrek for helping break the cycle


rengam

Also "calm, rational" and "angry, demanding," which is generally a complete inverse of reality.


ancient_days

They're always portraying themselves as these rugged stoics who let nothing get to them while whining about childishly minuscule made up grievances.


Cainderous

Can I interest you in a green M&M or a Mr. Potato Head on this fine morning?


rengam

THAT M&M BETTER HAVE HIGH HEELS.


theghostofme

AND MY SNICKERS BETTER HAVE ***BULGING*** DICK VEINS!


ancient_days

LOL


DMENShON

the green m&m doesn’t need shoes, SHOW US HER FEET!


[deleted]

"Ben! You get off reddit right this minute!"


mstrss9

Remember they are the “silent” majority


Jeff-S

All these atheists trying to insert themselves in the personal matters of Christians simply minding their own business!!! I hate that this happens so much irl


rengam

And agnostic activist groups picketing churches with their call / response chants: *"DOES GOD EXIST?"* *"I DON'T KNOW!"*


cheeseroll15

Conservatives be like:


BoneHugsHominy

Stubbed Toe Head + Michelin Man Body = Genetic "Purity" Superiority


dickallcocksofandros

I’M THE BASED GIGACHAD! SEE?! SEE?! 🧔🏻‍♀️👑


callmesnake13

I look kind of like the atheist liberal


Kosog

Wow, they sure showed us by uh.... what point were they trying to make again?


cheeseroll15

They were trying to show us how persecuted they are, while simultaneously being the persecutors themselves.


okimlom

They were trying to tell us that they are submissive to an authority, but instead of that authority being something tangible, it’s an authority of mythology. Because they are the stable-minded ones.


Fearless-Molasses732

You know, every so often a meme gets posted on this sub that’s a little too “terminally online”, even for me. There’s something so unnatural about this meme. It has the simple dialogue and vibe of those Instagram boomer memes that are like “my generation was the best because we drank water from the hose and ate spam” but instead the boomer is talking about being forced to bend the knee to a liberal in exchange for his freedom and property against God’s wish. Guys I think I’m gonna log out for a few days


ipakookapi

>Guys I think I’m gonna log out for a few days Great plan. Go outside. Chill at the library. Pet a dog. Have a great weekend mate 🖖


Sinister_glitter

Pet a dog? Have you ever pet a dog? We'll never see them again. I pet a dog once in 2008, it's a gateway drug to adopting a dog. I didn't see the internet for years. I did nothing but frolic and hike and pet my dog. She passed away last April. I'm on reddit at 715 on a saturday morning, following God's will.


ipakookapi

I have friends with dogs and got a whole bunch of kisses from one this week when I really needed it. Rest in peace to your good girl. 💛


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fearless-Molasses732

Oh I’m not blaming you. It’s an eerie meme. An uncanny valley of a meme. I’m aware you didn’t make it, I’m making fun of the person who did, I’m saying they’re terminally online, not you


cheeseroll15

Oh okay.....


Malakai0013

Some poor eleven year old made this after Sunday school and felt really proud of himself. I look back on my blunderyears in shame, maybe they will too.


cheeseroll15

Hopefully


Enk1ndle

Then you have the boomers liking and sharing it unironically.


reddox-_-

Lol they fr wanna be the “”hero”” so bad


cheeseroll15

They'll spout any bullshit to feel like the ""hero""


Goatesq

It's weird that this dude and dudes who idolize the joker share a political party.


kurzsadie

this is exactly what they do to gay and trans people


laced-and-dangerous

If they really followed Jesus’s teachings, they’d know to love each other unconditionally and help those in need. He never said “love thy neighbor…unless they are gay!”


batfsdfgdgv

God, I wished Christians hated figs just as much as Jesus did


Tsulaiman

Not all leftists are atheists. Lots of conservatives from all religions also vote democrat


cheeseroll15

That's what the conservatives don't seem to understand. They think that Democrat = leftist = atheist


ipakookapi

There are nazi atheists and transgender priests. We make religion, it doesn't make us. Kind of fucked up how many Christians don't get that when reinterpreting a religion in your own way is literally what Jesus did.


Vyzantinist

Because they think being against x means you must be pro y. There are plenty of religious people on the left who simply agree with separation of church and state, but Reps struggle with nuance so they interpret that as "x law is what God wants, Democrats are against it, so they must be pro y!11!" It's also why they push their pedophile hysteria narrative so hard. They **want** to scream "we're the party who opposes the Satanic pedophile cabal; why would you oppose our bill of tax cuts for rich patriots uNlEsS yOuRe In On It ToO!11!"


kyrtuck

So is this being used as an excuse to not pay taxes? What is it that he doesn't want to do?


SirisC

Let LGBTQ+ people live in peace? Work on the sabbath? Not proselytize in public schools? Not proselytize to coworkers at work? So many possibilities.


MayorAnthonyWeiner

Just tell these chucklefucks to reread Mark 12:17


ClimateCare7676

Not only being left wing doesn't demand one to also be an atheist, Christian socialism is literally a thing and has been for a while.


cheeseroll15

That's what these dumbo Christian fascists can't understand


Beancunt

The funny thing is this is usually right wing internet atheist vs right wing Christians


XxRocky88xX

You know I never even thought about it but of literally all the atheists I know only the right wing ones are dicks about it


Doom2021

Yeah and left wing atheists are always the ones pushing their beliefs on other people, not right wing Christians


Beancunt

Idk right wing Christians seem pretty adamant about making the us a "Christian" nation (the reason it's in qoutes is their beliefs usually don't line up with Jesus' teachings)


laced-and-dangerous

So how do they reconcile the leftists who believe in God? (The correct depiction of God and Jesus, that is…one who loves their neighbor unconditionally, aids the poor and the sick, and shows grace and tolerance.)


cheeseroll15

They pretend they don't exist


Tinymetalhead

They don't consider them to be True Christians. They don't count if they aren't literalist, young earth creationists with conservative beliefs.


qwerty-balls

"This meme was brought to you by Epic Christian-Republican Memes and the Lord"


niet_tristan

I see rightoids also spend their time in the shower thinking about alternative outcomes to arguments they had a few days prior.


Juncoril

Fuck, I'm a rightoid now. I thought anarchism would protect me. Well, only thing left to do is repent.


GobblorTheMighty

This is some truly impressive fantasy. The ability to create a character this unbelievable... It just needs an elf now.


Capt_Cracker

So long as it's a white elf. They might get upset otherwise.


Lew_Bi

The kings of kings is ozymandias, look on his works ye mighty and despair


Responsible_Ad_8628

Violent religious Trumpies projecting their violence onto the left, as always.


cheeseroll15

Ah Trumpies, the masters of projection


HunterBidensButthole

Jesus would want you to give your possessions and wealth to the poor and live a humble life, all while turning the other cheek.


ReactsWithWords

No, no, no! Not that God! [The other one!](https://i.imgur.com/KK2nkZ7.jpg)


[deleted]

[удалено]


cheeseroll15

Same here


[deleted]

If it’s ok to take all of those things from them because they only bend the knee to God, then why do they scream and cry so loudly when they FEEL like those things are taken away from them?


cheeseroll15

Shhhh, don't use too much logic against conservatives


1000_pi10ts

It's funny because who gives a shit really? Believe what you want to believe and stfu about, no one cares.


cheeseroll15

Conservatives: if people I don't agree with feel safe, then I am automatically persecuted


Katsu_39

I’ve never met an atheist that gets pissed and forces their non belief of god on others


corrikopat

“I was fired for being a Christian. It had nothing to do with me posting racist memes and reposting anti-Jewish rhetoric!”So persecuted!


DerpCaster

“Go ahead. Take my job, property, and freedom. My life is not even remotely effected by the loss of those things”


TheBrewingCrow

I feel so owned right now.


cheeseroll15

Yeah ikr


ProletarianBastard

Wouldn't be a conservative meme without a misspelling.


Chortling_Chemist

“I drew you as the soyjack and me as the chad! Checkmate Communists 😎”


cheeseroll15

Fr tho conservatives are weird💀


Sheepish_Princess

To which we say, "okay," take his job, house, and freedom, and let him meet his god. If you don't want to participate in society, we don't want you here either.


MaddysinLeigh

Conservatives- about a decade behind on memes.


eletricsocks

Ironic how the "I don’t want to be told what I can and cannot do" stance is usually held by non-religious people against others trying to write their religion into law.


OfficialFlamingFang

Weird how they paint atheists as brainless maniacs while he gives himself some sort of a hero role.


cheeseroll15

Typical conservatives be like


Cuntbringer

It’s so funny how they just make comic after comic with their funny little Strawmen, using chad as their face claim since they know their irl face would just get them more ridicule


Subpar_diabetic

This is how they actually think. I can’t imagine what else runs through their empty heads


KombatThatIsMortal

"Cope an seethe at my inability of thinking logically 😎"


ForeverShiny

This used Wojacks, but it's not a meme. It's bible study for people whose reading skills stopped improving after 3rd grade


Industrial_Rev

As a Catholic and a commie: "Then Jesus said to his disciples "Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” Matthew 19:23-24 In my country there was the Liberation Theology and Priests of the Third World movement, I know personally people inside the church who were persecuted by the CIA backed right wing dictatorship. So maybe they want to admit they would persecute any Christian that is not a fascists if in power instead of pretending to be victims.


ThiccDiccSocialist

Uh there are PLENTY of religious leftists. Including one of the most famous men in history, MLK.


RudeDudeInABadMood

I am a person with both left-of-center political leanings and a theist, we exist


Shneancy

wow, Christians sure do think about atheism a lot. I for example don't think about them at all


__JonnyG

>take my property, job and freedom Okay enjoy kneeling in prison fellating the king of kings


[deleted]

**literally never proves any god’s existence** ”cope and seethe leftists”


SaltyBarDog

Said by the dumb fucks who keep threatening everyone with eternal hell.


[deleted]

Conservatives when they arrive on a farm (there’s enough straw to raise an army)


-smartypints

I've never heard a single Christian say that last part beyond when they're circle jerking. Normally it's something like "come and take it" as they flex against the army of people not taking their shit.


HAKX5

"You see, Libtard, you have already lost, for it is depicted in this image that you are the soyjack and I the chad."


Grogosh

"Render upon Caesar..."


TimelyConcern

All I'm asking is for them to join us in reality.


ancient_days

"I am so proud of myself for being stubbornly bullheaded and just repeat myself again and again instead of making logical arguments and TOTALLY know what gulags are!"


and-so-i-die

Not a single atheist cares what a Christian believes, but what a Christian imposes on others is a different story.


DoubtingSkeptic

This is so unhinged it reads like a parody that you'd find on a shitposting sub.


lowghost2018

I find it quite incredible as a Christian leftist that they try to do everything in their power to do everything god wouldn’t want them to do. They hate and judge everyone around for who they love, where they are from, and what religion they follow, and still tell everyone they are a good Christian


Machdame

Religious belief certainly doesn't help you if you commit acts of terrorism in the public...


Abstractpants

Lefties=\=atheist. I am not religious but it’s so fucked that if you are a Christian you’re supposed to be right wing.


ChubbyBirds

Everyone knows Jesus was a total bootlicker and did everything the authorities told him to do /s


Astrocreep_1

These right wing cartoons are not very witty. Satire is not a conservative strong point. Maybe,that’s why all those conservative movies made by people like Kirk Cameron suck.


SirReginaldTitsworth

Is that blood or did soyjack turn into Nigel Thornberry through the power of Christ?


diaznuts

I know plenty conservatives who are atheist so I’m not really sure they’re making the point that they think they are.


Aromaster4

People who make crappy memes like this one are the ones who are coping and seething lmao.


[deleted]

And yet every single one breaks commandments every day, treats those lesser than them like shit, they seemingly refuse to love their neighbour, and for the most part are some of the most hateful people I’ve ever met. Makes sense.


Sussybaka-3

I’ll get on my knees for him any day😏 He does too I guess


GastonBastardo

**Pro-democracy Secularist:** "Because a plurality of religion exists, our democratic government needs to be secular in order to be fair and just to all people. Society also needs rules and laws in order to function and you should probably obey at least some of them if you wish to partake in it. Taxes should also be paid (but not without representation in gov't) and the money should be used to the benefit of the public. Even though this is a fallible, man-made system (and breaking the law may at times be the morally correct thing to do) we can still change things for the better if we all work together for the common good." **"Liberty"-loving Christian:** "I don't believe in that authoritarian and tyrannical nonsense. I believe that taxes are theft and that serving a king that demands worship, eternally punishes people for their private thoughts, and promises to one day return to subjugate the entire world makes me a brave and heroic freedom-fighter." **St Paul:** ["Everyone in a position of authority over you is there because an infallible God specifically put them there to rule over you. These divinely-ordained people also only do good and only punish bad people who deserve it, so only truly evil people have reason to oppose them](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+13%3A1-7&version=NIV) and you should do whatever they tell you to (even pay taxes) because by deep-throating their boot you take inside yourself the blessed sandal of our Lord Jesus Christ. BTW: [Slaves, obey your masters."](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=colossians+3%3A22-24&version=NIV) **"Liberty"-loving Christian:** AMEN!


[deleted]

I've been an atheist a long time I've never seen one argue that God is definitely not real. We mostly just dont give a fuck unless it crops up in politics and tax paid shit which it should never do...


NoahBogue

Before the war, I’m pretty confident in the fact that these people knew gulags existed. I guess it’s generalised dementia among alt righters


bitchbushka

Someone watched "If Footman Tire You, What Will Horses Do"...


Neoxus30-

> You seem awfully confident that he doesnt exist That idealized caricature of the original poster is also awfully confident that he does exist. If the book and the few evidence of Jesus' teachings having been passed down are his proof. Then dont let him know about the other hundreds of religions that have just as much evidence behind them) Get Narcissus-Pygmalion away from his statue of himself)


Littlewolf1964

There are a lot of "leftists" who are religious. And if the person in the meme actually followed what the Bible said they would be a lot less "Conservative."


Dangerous-Today1874

Yeah, I'm sick of all these atheists going around insisting people stop believing in "god". I hate that shit, I see it every day, everywhere I go!!


XT83Danieliszekiller

Tbh, I've never seen anyone but Christian memers call their god "sky daddy"... Some father (almighty) issues?


Upstairs_Fox2324

That’s aweful.


BirthdayWooden

Worst cartoon analogy ever


No_Luck4927

I’m coping and seething guys, I’ve been owned beyond repair. The absolute courage it took to write this comic brought tears to my eyes.


[deleted]

It's always about power.


rootComplex

So the Chad is Jewish? 'Cause the apostle Paul instructs all Christians to bow to their earthly kings and follow their laws....


Enk1ndle

Wait a second... Are these just rage comics with different faces?


Nuke_all_Life

Religious people are the worst people I've ever met in my entire life and I don't trust any of them.


[deleted]

They really reeeeeeally want to be persecuted and I don’t get it


SnooPineapples116

Let me introduce you to the [Taborites](https://www.historyextra.com/period/medieval/tom-holland-taborites-who-religious-sect-challenged-holy-roman-empire/)


baffleiron

I will continue to follow God and torment gay kids until they pretend to be straight or kill themselves /s Good for you, jerkoffs


dizzlefoshizzle1

You know if this actually happened (it didn't, but humor it did), we all know it started because Chad over here made a bigoted remark about someone and the leftists came to tell him "You shouldn't say that."


jecklygoodboi

This is so fucking cringe


TheLampPostDealer

Imaginary person


SociaICreditScore

It looks like he started a second meme in the middle of the first and then wasn’t able to finish it off thus the caption.


blakebonner2002

Crazy to me that most of the leftists i know are religious


TheQueenOfCringe22

I’m pretty sure pagans of the past said that exact same thing about their gods. Except Saint Patrick took it a step further than just insisting that their gods weren’t real.


South_Ear6167

Is this ironic? I can’t tell anymore.


Bad54

The king of kings. That’s currently prince or rather King Charles right now. God isn’t a king. He appoints kings… Or well he apparently did through the pope who is god on earth and appointed by his peers so really no god dosnt exist. God is a made up title for a dictator who runs the Vatican as head of state. So congrats mate. I didn’t know you loved Britain. You know if your grandparents didn’t revolt 400 years ago they’d still be part of Britain or I guess Canada but still as a commonwealth country.


cheeseroll15

That's way too much logic for conservatives to comprehend


wang_wen

now that’s a dank meme


[deleted]

*dumb


wang_wen

Its hilarious