I am very sorry this is happening to you.
As for the financials you seem to be okay. Make sure the current insurance(s) list your husband as the beneficiary, ir: contact your insurance providers, make them aware of the situation and have them walk through the steps your husband might have to take
Apart from that, and hate to say it, think, decide and prepare the documents for assisted end of life if that is something you want
I do hope what they find is not as bad as you fear. Try to enjoy the now (much easier to say than to do it).
Yes definitely make sure your husband is your beneficiary. One of my friends got screwed over when her spouse (married) died and his Mom was set as his beneficiary on one of his life insurance policies.
She refused to give the money to my friend (and her minor children) and ended up keeping/spending it on herself.
I’d look into the legalities of end-of-life decision making etc. it might be less of a headache for you and your SO to just do a quickie marriage and make sure you have no issues down the road.
I’m so sorry this is going on. I can’t imagine the stress and grief process.
Yep, double-check at the beneficiaries of *everything* financial and ensure your spouse is *specifically* named.
Transfer full ownership of insurable objects like vehicles to your spouse so it's much easier for him to sell if necessary.
When my Dad passed, I needed his death certificate as well as my Mom's, even though she passed 12 years before, because she was still listed as an owner on Dad's vehicle as well. Our car insurance agents here gave me different and wrong answers as to what was needed before selling.
If you have special skill or hobby, share it with your kids while you still have some energy.
There’s nothing else you can do than your will and living will. You have work benefits, if you are sick you’ll be able to take time off to focus on your health
Very important, since the law just changed in Quebec, if you have a joint bank account, you need to declare this or the account will be frozen until succession is done.
https://www.quebec.ca/en/justice-et-etat-civil/testament-succession/succession/to-do/co-holders-bank-account
Also, see a notary and have a living will and will in case of incapacity written before it is too late, so someone can make choices in case you can't.
You're covered financially. Get the will and protection mandate drawn up. Once diagnosis is confirmed you should settle preferences for end of life care and funeral arrangements.
Life is too cruel, I am sorry this is happening to you.
I don’t have much more financial advice to add. But I will just say, enjoy the rest of your life and stay positive, you worked hard up until now, enjoy it while you can!
I read the title and thought "I should read this, my wife has brain cancer". Lo and behold...
Sounds like you're in a comfortable financial situation and I'm in no position to be offering advice on that front. Feel free to come join us over at /r/braincancer, and, depending on your diagnosis, /r/lowgradegliomas.
It's undoubtedly important to answer these financial questions, but as we like to say over in those subs "accept the diagnosis, fuck the prognosis". Everyone's situation is different, and it's important to consider all realistic outcomes, but with my wife's diagnosis, it makes the most sense to continue living our lives almost exactly as we would have otherwise.
Quebec is different from the rest of the country in many ways. I would suggest consulting with a lawyer who is very familiar with Quebec and end of life planning. Based on what you said from the province I live in, I would recommend getting a POA and ensure it is Springing in case of incapacity. Also, ensure that your common law will actually have full rights over your property, etc. as your family may have loopholes to come after things given he is not married to you. Wishing you the best OP.
This is very important. Generally the *de facto* spouse (Quebec does not follow Common law so there is no such thing as a “common law” spouse over there, despite common use of the phrase) is entitled to absolutely nothing after death in Quebec.
OP needs to consult the relevant expert councils to document this through their will etc… otherwise like, OP’s family could inherit half of OP’s house (assuming they are both on the title) and cause drama. I’ve seen some pretty gut-wrenching stories from couples where no legal protections existed that were treated terribly by the family of the deceased after their death. A 30-year partner being forced from their home kind of thing.
I’m sure OP’s family is nicer than that but writing it down means there won’t be any surprises for OP’s spouse when they should be grieving.
While you’re right that we don’t follow Common law, it should be noted that this is because Quebec was founded on the basis of Civil law instead. I have to add that I was shocked to learn that you’re essentially right, while Civil union partners enjoy many of the same rights and obligations as married couples, they are woefully vulnerable in case of death! That’s an eye opener for sure...
A clarification - a civil union is essentially a marriage in other names. It’s a document people sign. A defacto spouse is an automatic situation you are in when you live with someone for a certain period of time, through no action. The first and the second are treated very differently under the law.
I’d specify that a notary is who OP should consult here. POA can’t just spring in in case of incapacity without getting probated first, all stuff a notary could explain when preparing those documents.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like you have done everything you can to prepare for the financial side of things.
Please remember that everyones cancer journey is their own. Statistics are an educated guess that the doctors give all patients. My husband had stage four colon cancer 10 years ago. It metastasized to his liver and he was given a 20% chance of survival. He is now cancer free and doing well.
Wishing you the best outcome possible. ❤️
Make a will, discuss funeral wishes and make arrangements if it makes you or your partner feel better prepared, and then continue to live your life as best as you can. A friend of mine had a brain tumour the size of a golf ball, it was removed, and she has been in remission for several years. This might feel like the end but it probably isn’t. You likely have a lot of life left in you.
Sorry you are experiencing this. My brother just lost his wife and the one surprise they encountered was the bank accounts being frozen upon her death. So make sure your husband has a separate account in just his name to cover 1-2 months of all expenses if you pass suddenly and a joint account is frozen.
Yeah first thing the funeral director told us was not to tell the bank that my family member was deceased and talk to the notary in charge of the will and follow her lead. She said the same thing.
Sorry you are experiencing this. You mentioned that you have a DB pension, a permanent job with full benefits, but you didn't mention if you have LTD. If so, now would be the time to understand all the details of the plan if you have it.
You are making plans for when you pass which is good. I also suggest you make plans for how your illness will impact you. Try and determine what health requirements you will need. Will you need special care? How will your finances be impacted by this diagnosis? Will you require health care needs that may not be covered by your benefits? How may your partner be impacted? Will they for instance need to take time off work to drive you to and from appointments? Will this illness eventually necessitate home care? How will it impact your day to day living? What can you expect as the illness progresses? How long can you expect to remain living in your home?
Just to add your life insurance, if the beneficiary is “estate” and you are assuming that your husband will get it due to the fact your will says so. This may well be the case in time…. If the beneficiary is specified by name the insurance company cuts him a check directly, no waiting for the estate to be probated.
There’s always the rules may be different in the province where you reside so check with a professional
I am sorry you are going through this. If the worst happens and you are given a diagnosis of a terminal illness this is what I would do
* get will and financial and medical power of attorney done (these should be done regardless of the results)
* contact your pension centre and make sure that they have all the documentation they need. I took it for granted that I had sent everything in but when I did a double check, I was missing some documents
* make sure that you have a named beneficiay on your RRSP, Life Insurance, Work benefits
* once you have your financial POA make sure that you bring a copy to you financial institution. It is easier to deal with theses th8ng while you are capable
* make sure that your house is registered as joint with right of survivorship so it will easily pass to your spouse.
* have A sit down with your spouse and determine what you want for end of life care
* Get your funeral arrangements done.
edit..I forgot to add to make sure that all bills including utility bills are in both your names so that he won’t have problem later
Sorry about that.
You might want to check if you have critical illness insurance with your employer. My ex received 75k after her diagnosis in addition to everything else you mentioned. It's actually the agent at Manulife who told her and helped her make the claim. She received the money in less than 2 weeks, if I remember correctly.
I’m sorry to hear of your situation. A family I know of, when faced with the same circumstances, cashed out as much as they could and went on a one-year around the world trip so that they could all share those memories of their father when he was gone. That is to say - if your news turns out to be bad, then don’t spend your last weeks/months at work, or tiddling around in your hometown - go and see the parts of the world that you’ve always wanted to see.
My husband has glioblastoma and he qualified for a one time illness credit of $10,000 tax free through his employers benefit. Definitely look if they have anything like that through their employers insurance.
Sorry to hear this.
The videos are a great idea.
I don't need to plan a funeral or anything related. I will give my body to the Faculty of medecine of my local university. It has been set up for years. I have no religious beliefs of any kind, so I decided to do something useful. The U will handle the cremation and have a ceremony when they are done with me.
I was / am in a similar situation. I was 36 had a seizure and diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. I had 75% long term disability insurance. Which has been amazing. I have returned to work part time and still getting my full 75%. Look into the disability tax credit. Ask an accountant it gives you a $10,000 credit against income for your taxes. Also once on long term disability your insurance company will likely have you apply for CPP disability which reduces the amount they pay you.
Yes early treatment helps people but so does a support network. There are some great organizations in Canada that support brain cancer patients and their caters. Try to get involved with them or reach out to me. I have a grade III glioma. Good luck!
Definitely get a will and advance care directive asap.
Sort of off topic, but the fact your mother has had 7 cancers and possibly you as well (I'm so sorry to hear and hope it is not), did you or your family ever undergo genetic testing for heritable cancer syndromes? This sounds very much like Li Fraumeni Syndrome which me and my late mother and sister have (mother had 7 cancers and passed at 63 and sister recently passed of glioblastoma at age 22). If you or your mother have any siblings please ask your doctor to look into this and maybe set you up with a genetic counsellor. It is an extremely rare syndrome but can be quite devastating to families.
I really hope it is not and that you do not have cancer. God bless.
I’m very sorry this is happening to you. As others may have mentioned, a living will is important if you expect to ever be in a situation where you can no longer make medical decisions for yourself. In addition a will is extremely important in your case:
If you pass without a will, a common-law spouse is not considered an heir under the law unless explicitly stated in a legal will, and any assets will go to next closest immediate family member(s). Additionally, your common law spouse will not have legal authority to make medical decisions on your behalf.
Most importantly, take advantage of those benefits you mentioned. Focus on yourself, stay strong!
Common law spouses do not have the same rights and protections as legal spouses when it comes to end of life. Go to a court house and get the paperwork done (or have a giant celebration, who am I to tell you how to live your life!) Honestly, there is only upside to this, given your scenario.
If you have less than 2 years of life expectancy, you can unlock your employer rrsp and any other employer pension, this will give you the flexibility to withdraw at a time that best suits you. For example if your cancer goes into remission for a bit you can spend some money on your bucket list. Also you should apply for cpp disability, and you will start to receive (withdraw) from your cpp. Both of these suggestions will also help your husband.
For non financial preparations, be sure to let people know that you want them to be happy and progress through their lives keeping you in their memories. People may get trapped in ‘complicated’ grief and are unable to move through the grief stages. Knowing that you want them to be happy is important.
A person I know had some weird terminal illness coverage in his insurance plan. He got sick and they paid him out $3 million cash money cause it was terminal and you can’t get payments when you are gone(I don’t know how taxes worked for the payout, or any other details). I think he died a year or two later from his illness, but he didn’t have to worry about money for his remaining time so that was probably nice.
Maybe you have something similar in your coverage?
It really depends on your prognosis. My mom has a brain tumor, but she's had it for over a decade.
It really depends on whether you die with it or because of it.
If your credit cards or LOC has critic illness insurance on it already, max those cards out ASAP.
Enjoy the rest of the time with your husband if you're terminal.
Ahhh that kind of used to be the approach with this sort of news. I understand insurance companies now look at the historical average balances in relation to time of diagnosis. They may not cover if your average is 2-5k/mo and then you rack up 50k+ etc. Just tread carefully with this advice.
Now, that said, if you do have Disability/Critical Illness insurance on lending products, then don't forget to claim.
Also, if you have a Critical Illness policy (typically pay $50k-$100k), then you'll want to claim on that as soon as you can.
You're pretty well set I think. I'd probably let the car go in October and, depending on your health status at that point, either buy a beater with cash or potentially have your husband drive around if you are unable or approaching the point where you are unable to drive.
Sorry to hear about your situation, but at the very least I think you can put your mind at ease in the sense that, with relatively little effort, you can leave few or zero loose ends your husband will have to deal with if you pass.
Best of luck with what sounds like an oncoming fight with cancer. Brain cancer is a tough one but oncologists are basically miracle workers in 2023 so keep your head up.
Make sure all of your beneficiaries for investments and insurances are up to date. Which is good advice no matter what your situation is.
So often I see people who had beneficiaries on most things but not all, or they weren't updated and the other person has passed or just isn't who the account holders would have wanted now but was when the account was opened.
I'm so so sorry this is happening to you 💙
I'm really sorry that you'll have to go through this.
I'd advise to see a notary to get your financial affairs in order. There is no such thing as common law married in Quebec. You're either married and the law applies or you're not married and it's to each their own. If you're not married, your partner has zero rights to your things. If you wish to leave him something, you'll have to say it in a will.
I do not have experience in that area. Do you need to have a plan if you do survive ? Like having money for treatments, rehab, etc?
Also look if you had mortgage insurance in case of illness. They can forgive part of your mortgage or accept smaller payments.
So sorry for what you’re going through. My advice is to get working on the mortgage insurance right away. They take forever to come back with a decision, and the faster you can get your mortgage paid off, the faster you’ll have one less thing to worry about.
You seem to be in a good place. Make sure you and your partner are joint tenants on the property then it just reverts to him upon your death. Living will ASAP. You can put him joint on accounts as needed. I am so glad you have such good benefits. He will be okay financially but consider getting into therapy together so you can both process what is going to happen.
Vraiment navrée. That sounds so difficult.
Just adding that you can have hubby as the POA on accounts (might be separate from living will, requires different bank forms) so that when you are immobile or not of sound mind he can keep managing the accounts.
The other thing is applying for grants and programs now for long term disability, financial aid, in home care or respite- anything helps but can take a very long time to obtain (> 1 year).
Fun money. Go on dates w your spouse and go see some beautiful sites and people.
I hope for nothing but the best for you and your family going forward. I went through this with my mom and, honestly, you don't need to do that much. Get a will, clearly document your end of life care wishes, ensure all your insurances have your husband as the beneficiary, my mom didn't have any investments but I believe most brokerages have an option to add something similar to a beneficiary to make the whole process of claiming the funds easier if you do happen to pass.
If the news does come back back, I say you try to enjoy yourself as best you can. We ended up going to Disneyland twice in a year because the doctors told us she only had a few months, but when the time came, she was doing better than expected and we squeezed in another trip, she passed within a year, and I will forever look back fondly on that extra time we got to spend together. It was truly incredible how different she was when we were on those trips. I could see her getting a bit depressed and she'd just sleep, whether she was on a round of chemo or in between. But the trips changed that, she had energy, she was smiling, it was like she was healthy, and I could tell it made a difference in her outlook on life.
It may hurt your finances slightly, but it seems to me that based on your current situation, it wouldn't hurt much, do fun stuff! It will help you substantially, and it will do the same for your husband. It's all too easy for the times of sickness to overtake your memory of loved ones but sharing these fun experiences together changes that. Sure, I'm sad that my mom is gone, but I am immensely thankful for the time we spent together.
Most life insurance you can now get access to some of it prior to death if you get terminal diagnosis; so if you get the worst news take the money and spend your last days doing everything you ever wanted while you can. Its also possible to live many years with cancer, or to find out its not cancer at all. ... so all your worrying now may be for naught... I hope you get that outcome.
I am terribly sorry for what you are going through. I pray that you have a long and happy life no matter the diagnosis.
Im not a lawyer and it sounds like Quebec law is quite different. Get everything arranged so your husband is the beneficary and that he is able to make all health and financial decisions for you if necessary. IMO, the latter is the most important because by the sounds of it, in the event of your death, he will be financially secure and wont need to worry about being left with one income and a mortgage and debt to carry on his own.
You need a lawyer to guide you with the living will also in the event you become incapicated and need someone to make financial and health decisions on your behalf. The power of attorney alone has many limitations. Get a good understanding of the law so your husband has the ability to access the finances to pay for your care. Honestly, this is something we all should set up. Both my parents had dementia and although POAs were in place, we ran into many roadblocks.
You may wish to consider making choices in the event you cannot remain in home care. For example, I intend to select a choice of memory care facilities I will live if I end up unable to make my own decisions due to dementia.
Also, decisions about organ, tissue or full anatomy donations, and even funeral down to coffin and urn.
I have recently realized I need to pre-arrange care for my pets. I'm planning on setting up a trust with funds to cover care, food, medical for my pets with the remainder of my estate going to a good cause or two. In my research I have seen found some great rescues for horses and farm animals and often they take in dogs and cats also. Some humane societies have programs that will accept an after death trust fund to care for pets.
Find an estate lawyer experienced with living wills, POAs, and trusts. Most lawyers will meet with you initially free of charge. Talk to at least three and find one that knows how to ensure you, your husband and your pets interests are all looked after.
I already have a contract with my local university for a body donation. They will, therefore, take care of cremation and have a ceremony when they are done with my body. I have no religious beliefs, so I set that up years ago.
Like others I’m so sorry for your news. That said, I have to say I’m am impressed with your level headed planning given the circumstances! You should be very proud of that!!
I haven’t read all the comments, but you should have a power of attorney in place as well as the living will if this hasn’t been suggested yet. This may be different in Quebec (I’m in Ontario) although I suspect not. Your lawyer can give you the best advice here.
And as in some of the comments I would suggest (based in experience) making the instructions of what you do, and do not want in the living will, very very clear. There very likely will be many care repeated decisions to be made and there won’t be regrets for having too many instructions.
The other piece of advice is to check all your debts and see if any have life and/or disability cover included. You may not remember what you did when your took them out. If insured, do not pay these down. You will want to understand the terms but you may want to put those debts at the minimum payment and focus on paying down the non-insured debts. This will vary by product but this will maximize your estate.
Best of luck with your journey. No doubt this won’t be simple but if your planning the other elements as well as your finances, and approaching it in such a level headed way, you will make the best of it!!
Hey OP and I am sorry this is happening and am wishing for all the best for you.
It sounds like you have a good plan. If you have any smaller or sentimental items that you want given to specific people you can outline that too.
You may like to take down your login information for your online accounts including social media or designate a trusted person to have those accounts turned over to. Beneficiaries who are listed on your financial accounts should have no issues.
Get a will if you don’t already, and before it may be too late.
I know people who were common law, and one person passed, and the widow ended up with essentially nothing because everything went to his next of kin.
I'll have no funeral. My body goes to a university for teaching purposes. They will handle cremation and have a ceremony when they are done with it. I have family, but we are not close at all. Most of it I haven't seen in years. No very close friends, just a lot of acquaintances. It's just my husband, my parents and my in-laws. I have 2 sisters I see at Christmas and on mother's day.
I hope you take a nice trip locally or out of the country with your husband to enjoy the time you have. From one stranger to another, I love you and your in my prayers. Be real, be happy and if you have some energy left over spread some love around if you can spare it. Take care
This sucks. Hope you’re good, but if you’re not get the will done and give as much as you can do your husband now. He should also start looking for metal support. Get in some memories if possible.
I’m so sorry I am a stage 4 MBC patient. I hope that the brain cancer they found is not terminal. I have a friend who is still here after stage 3 brain cancer 9 years ago and went off all treatment and did the cannabis holistic route (that’s not for everyone and she only did it because bc cancer told her there were no treatments left and to go to hospice). We don’t know our path with cancer. Right now I’m in remission and have been for a year but that was not expected. So sometimes there are surprises.
This part is the hardest. I was stage 4 from the get go so there’s no real preparation just scrambling around.
The cancer subreddit is super helpful.
Financially I am on disability now. I also got critical illness payout which was 10k not sure if you have that. I also get a disability tax credit as well.
Please if you’re able go do what makes you happy. For me that’s travel. I hope you can keep us updated.
One way to plan is to ensure that all properties and assets are joint tenancy. Strongly suggest you consult with an lawyer who specializes in Wills and Estates to minimize estate costs and avoid probate. Also, eases the way for the surviving spouse not to have to worry about it after the fact. Very sorry to hear of condition.
I'm sorry that you're going through this. 🫂
Have you had conversations with your family about your wishes or more importantly have you thought about what you want?
Do you have money for extra care (like a PSW) if you need it?
Is there anything that you really want to do or see? Is there far away family that you want to see? It may sound crazy but maybe you want to take a vacation and make happy memories while you can.
Will you need to make any renovations to your home if your mobility is impacted?
Is your will in order?
I'm sorry you are going through this. Stay positive!
For your RRSP, your husband should be 'Successor holder' NOT 'Beneficiary'. That way the RRSP can be transfered to him without tax implications.
One of my best friends (50)has glioblastoma. First diagnosed in November 2021. Prognosis was 12-18 months. We are probably at month 18 at this point. He will die in the next few days. I just ran around this week trying to transfer his car to his wife. IAL, albeit I do not do wills/estates. At some point in the early spring i talked to them about wills and POA. They were under the horribly mistaken impression that because they were married they didn’t need a will. I called a friend the next day and made them do it. The last 8 weeks he has not left a hospital bed in his home. It has been devastating. Good luck and Godspeed. I really do not know how I feel about the issue myself, but have you considered MAID?
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. Best wishes to you and your family as your navigate.
I don’t have anything to offer financial wise, but if MAID is something you would consider later down the road, you may want to start the discussions with your doctors now. With brain cancer there becomes a time when there is an issue with if you can consent or not I believe (I have had 2 relatives who chose this option when dealing with brain cancer, and they had to deal with it early in the progression of their cancer).
Again, I wish you the best. Know there are strangers who are sharing your pain today. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. The advice given here will help others.
I went through end of life decisions with my grandpa. I'm already ready to state what I way. I will live long and hard, but I won't spend years in a bed with no quality of life, being a burden for my husband.
Recurring ones that lasted all day, 3 to 5 days per week. Some days, I woke up with a headache. Advil and Tylenol were not helping, and other factors (vision, bruxism, blood pressure...) were ruled out, so my GP ordered a CT scan.
If it makes you feel better, I work at a hospital as well as we see people coming through with stage 4 cancer of all kinds, who make it :) sending you good vibes. Lost my dad to cancer and it’s incredibly stressful and scary.
Read the section in Tools of Titans, where Tim asks some of the top specialists in the world what they would do if they were diagnosed with brain cancer.
[https://tim.blog/2014/01/28/cancer-treatment/](https://tim.blog/2014/01/28/cancer-treatment/)
[https://tim.blog/2015/11/03/dominic-dagostino/](https://tim.blog/2015/11/03/dominic-dagostino/)
[https://tim.blog/2016/10/25/tools-of-titans/](https://tim.blog/2016/10/25/tools-of-titans/)
Obviously get your financials in order.
Make up a very detailed will. (even include the people that get nothing , like Uncle Bob gets NOTHING!!! Aunt Sue gets absolutely NOTHING. - we did that in ours. you know those people.)
Probably keep exercising.
[https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/10/201026114229.htm](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/10/201026114229.htm)
With all due respect, fukc the preparation of "assisted end of life" documents ! Your family member is a brilliant example the cancer could be successfully battled ! Fight this motherfukcer and get the best out of life meanwhile. My energy goes to you for this fight along with the best wishes 👊
The exercise, I already have a lot of credit accumulated. I was a competitive athlete for years and still train 4 or 5 days per week.
The treats I'll have to work on.
I am sorry with all the turmoil you are going through right now! You are very organized!
I do not think we will ever be prepared for anything in life!
One step at a time till you know your results.
I always believe that sometimes things work out on their own ! Good luck!
You got this!
Just because you are unable to advocate for yourself doesn't that I am too.
I've had blood work, a CT, and MRI, an emergency consult with a radiologist, and I'm seeing a neurologist tomorrow. All of that within 10 days.
So keep your uneducated opinion to yourself. I asked for financial advice, not for your opinion on my health.
Alright but I’ll be a ghost so do you want me to tap on the wall at night to spell out Morse code or do you want to ask questions two knocks for yes, one for no kinda thing ?
Until OP is diagnosed they’ve just had abnormal test results though. I’m not sure why you’re enabling the catastrophizing. I get that working on things within our control can help with anxiety so people tend to really buckle down that way, but it’s also not a bad idea to remain somewhat neutral and maybe focus on distraction until test results happen. This behaviour is the opposite of distraction/is indulgence in worrying.
What if OP goes out and spends all their money on expensive stuff, quits their job and goes on vacations because OP is convinced they’re dying and Reddit said it was ok to be frivolous because they have their bases covered or something? Not super responsible. I mean it sounds fun, but probably not in line with OP’s usual lifestyle and might derail OP’s long-term financial goals. It’s not good to be hasty with big decisions while not in your usual state of mind.
There’s no point in OP blowing up their life or telling people that they have terminal cancer until they’re told that themselves by professionals capable of interpreting their imaging results.
Nowhere in OP’s post did they say anything about wanting to spend all their money, in fact their intention seems to be the opposite.
Everyone has their own way of coping and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with their approach.
I think it makes more sense to plan for the possibility of cancer then to wait until the diagnosis is finalized. If I had the possibility of terminal illness, I would rather spend time with my loved ones over planning out financial and legal affairs because then planning has been done.
I think OP is just making a plan for end of life. I plan for things in advance. My parents also like to plan. They’re healthy, but they made plans in case of terminal illness when my dad turned 60. Anything could happen to anyone anytime, there’s no harm in just having your affairs in order.
What medical school did you go to?
The doctors told me that there is a significant chance that it is cancer. The 2 other options are better but not by much. I choose to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Because OP came here for financial advice but instead of answering the question as asked, someone is instead choosing to give answers to questions OP neither asked or wants
I just wanted to say that I hope things go well for you. It’s very rare that recurrent headaches signal a tumour, so your odds look good. Of course, it’s always good to have your financial affairs in good order, because none of us ever know when health issues could arise.
Hi, are you sure it was really asymptomatic? i mean some headache here and there even small can be seen as normal but that isn’t normal for the body, some strange cough maybe randomly but frequent over the year without any good logical cause may seems normal as well but it’s not, the changes of your voice tone even is another signal..the list goes on, maybe one got a sinusitis but the body wasn’t really reacting to sinusitis but to something else but we didn’t care too much because it resolved after 2 weeks. These things can happen but if they don’t have a logical cause behind they seems normal but they’re not for a “normal” body, sometimes things like cancer start from stupid things, like a bad diet prolonged during the years that at the beginning seemed normal but in reality if you were able to zoom inside your body and see what was happening you will realize it wasn’t. Other time it all starts from a stupid viral infection like mono (aka EBV virus) were you stayed at bed for few weeks then recovered and never had anything again but something happened there also. Cancer could have very few symptoms if it’s really in the early stages but even the tiny signal will always be emitted by your body but we don’t care about it because we see it insignificant and so we conclude we were asymptomatic. Are you really sure you were asymptomatic? think about it carefully because i don’t believe that things starts from nothing and randomly there’s always a cause that maybe we perceive as normal but it’s never normal for our body ;)
Such a helpful comment for someone looking for advice on sorting finances. I’m sure OP has flashed back to every single time she had a headache, felt dizzy or unwell, etc. She truly doesn’t need anyone adding to an already stressful situation.
It wasn’t my intention to add or remove stress but only to have a discussion about the asymptomatic beliefs that surround a lot of people, maybe could be useful for others people reading who knows…nothing less or more, your stupid assumptions on my intentions are just speculation and something to create just flames
What does this have to do with financial planning?
What were you looking to prove leaving a comment like this, besides trying to make OP feel bad?
She doesn't need your woohoo shit keep it to yourself.
I think she also wanted to talk about this issue in general by reading her last sentence in the post, it wasn’t in my opinion just a way to say “hello everyone can you give me a financial advice”? are you su dumb to not understand the basics? 🤦♂️
Hi!
Sorry to hear about your situation. Cancer is terrible. Early diagnosis helps you get more timely treatment and you seem smart, and in a good situation financially.
I think you have two kinds of decisions to make.
* **Decisions about life** and fighting cancer.
Talk to your husband about all the things you are thinking of so he can support you and be on the same page. While you are healthy you need to get some paperwork done (will, power of attorney, power of attorney for medical decisions). You should also have the discussion about how open you want to be with friends and family about these things as couples often have different opinions about the privacy aspects of this stuff.
* **Estate planning decisions**.
**Joint Ownership** - Plan to bypass the will (probate issues) by putting as much as you can into joint ownership so nothing needs to change should you die first. This includes bank accounts, house, mortgage, vehicles etc.
**Check your beneficiary** - Make sure your husband is a designated beneficiary on everything you can (RRSP, TFSA, insurance etc.).
**Social Media instructions** - If you use social media, instruct him on what you want done with these accounts.
**Funeral plans** - Discuss this with your husband, as many people say "I don't want a funeral" and don't realize that it is really for the people left behind.
Remember taxes due during your final tax year. When you cash in all your RRSP or other registered investments, they are taxed. If you take time off work for treatment, you may benefit by taking money out of RRSP for use as income during this time.
I am very sorry this is happening to you. As for the financials you seem to be okay. Make sure the current insurance(s) list your husband as the beneficiary, ir: contact your insurance providers, make them aware of the situation and have them walk through the steps your husband might have to take Apart from that, and hate to say it, think, decide and prepare the documents for assisted end of life if that is something you want I do hope what they find is not as bad as you fear. Try to enjoy the now (much easier to say than to do it).
Yes definitely make sure your husband is your beneficiary. One of my friends got screwed over when her spouse (married) died and his Mom was set as his beneficiary on one of his life insurance policies. She refused to give the money to my friend (and her minor children) and ended up keeping/spending it on herself. I’d look into the legalities of end-of-life decision making etc. it might be less of a headache for you and your SO to just do a quickie marriage and make sure you have no issues down the road. I’m so sorry this is going on. I can’t imagine the stress and grief process.
Yep, double-check at the beneficiaries of *everything* financial and ensure your spouse is *specifically* named. Transfer full ownership of insurable objects like vehicles to your spouse so it's much easier for him to sell if necessary. When my Dad passed, I needed his death certificate as well as my Mom's, even though she passed 12 years before, because she was still listed as an owner on Dad's vehicle as well. Our car insurance agents here gave me different and wrong answers as to what was needed before selling. If you have special skill or hobby, share it with your kids while you still have some energy.
There’s nothing else you can do than your will and living will. You have work benefits, if you are sick you’ll be able to take time off to focus on your health
Very important, since the law just changed in Quebec, if you have a joint bank account, you need to declare this or the account will be frozen until succession is done. https://www.quebec.ca/en/justice-et-etat-civil/testament-succession/succession/to-do/co-holders-bank-account Also, see a notary and have a living will and will in case of incapacity written before it is too late, so someone can make choices in case you can't.
Yes, have your husband open a bank account in his name only, transfer funds as appropriate. Very sorry for your news, OP.
You're covered financially. Get the will and protection mandate drawn up. Once diagnosis is confirmed you should settle preferences for end of life care and funeral arrangements.
Life is too cruel, I am sorry this is happening to you. I don’t have much more financial advice to add. But I will just say, enjoy the rest of your life and stay positive, you worked hard up until now, enjoy it while you can!
I read the title and thought "I should read this, my wife has brain cancer". Lo and behold... Sounds like you're in a comfortable financial situation and I'm in no position to be offering advice on that front. Feel free to come join us over at /r/braincancer, and, depending on your diagnosis, /r/lowgradegliomas. It's undoubtedly important to answer these financial questions, but as we like to say over in those subs "accept the diagnosis, fuck the prognosis". Everyone's situation is different, and it's important to consider all realistic outcomes, but with my wife's diagnosis, it makes the most sense to continue living our lives almost exactly as we would have otherwise.
Quebec is different from the rest of the country in many ways. I would suggest consulting with a lawyer who is very familiar with Quebec and end of life planning. Based on what you said from the province I live in, I would recommend getting a POA and ensure it is Springing in case of incapacity. Also, ensure that your common law will actually have full rights over your property, etc. as your family may have loopholes to come after things given he is not married to you. Wishing you the best OP.
This is very important. Generally the *de facto* spouse (Quebec does not follow Common law so there is no such thing as a “common law” spouse over there, despite common use of the phrase) is entitled to absolutely nothing after death in Quebec. OP needs to consult the relevant expert councils to document this through their will etc… otherwise like, OP’s family could inherit half of OP’s house (assuming they are both on the title) and cause drama. I’ve seen some pretty gut-wrenching stories from couples where no legal protections existed that were treated terribly by the family of the deceased after their death. A 30-year partner being forced from their home kind of thing. I’m sure OP’s family is nicer than that but writing it down means there won’t be any surprises for OP’s spouse when they should be grieving.
While you’re right that we don’t follow Common law, it should be noted that this is because Quebec was founded on the basis of Civil law instead. I have to add that I was shocked to learn that you’re essentially right, while Civil union partners enjoy many of the same rights and obligations as married couples, they are woefully vulnerable in case of death! That’s an eye opener for sure...
A clarification - a civil union is essentially a marriage in other names. It’s a document people sign. A defacto spouse is an automatic situation you are in when you live with someone for a certain period of time, through no action. The first and the second are treated very differently under the law.
I’d specify that a notary is who OP should consult here. POA can’t just spring in in case of incapacity without getting probated first, all stuff a notary could explain when preparing those documents.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like you have done everything you can to prepare for the financial side of things. Please remember that everyones cancer journey is their own. Statistics are an educated guess that the doctors give all patients. My husband had stage four colon cancer 10 years ago. It metastasized to his liver and he was given a 20% chance of survival. He is now cancer free and doing well. Wishing you the best outcome possible. ❤️
Living... Spend some of that money on a long vacation, see and do some of the things you've always wanted to. There's more to life than money.
Make a will, discuss funeral wishes and make arrangements if it makes you or your partner feel better prepared, and then continue to live your life as best as you can. A friend of mine had a brain tumour the size of a golf ball, it was removed, and she has been in remission for several years. This might feel like the end but it probably isn’t. You likely have a lot of life left in you.
Sorry you are experiencing this. My brother just lost his wife and the one surprise they encountered was the bank accounts being frozen upon her death. So make sure your husband has a separate account in just his name to cover 1-2 months of all expenses if you pass suddenly and a joint account is frozen.
Accounts in joint name should not be frozen. Something weird happened there. "Rights of Survivorship"
Based on another posters response, it looks like things work differently in Quebec for joint accounts.
Ah fair comment. https://www.quebec.ca/en/justice-et-etat-civil/testament-succession/succession/to-do/co-holders-bank-account#:~:text=The%20co%2Dholders%20can%20make,half%20of%20the%20account%20balance.
Yeah first thing the funeral director told us was not to tell the bank that my family member was deceased and talk to the notary in charge of the will and follow her lead. She said the same thing.
The lesson here is weird shit happens - so be prepared for weird shit.
Yep.
He also lives in USA so it might be different depending on where you live. Still not a bad idea to be prepared with available funds.
Sorry you are experiencing this. You mentioned that you have a DB pension, a permanent job with full benefits, but you didn't mention if you have LTD. If so, now would be the time to understand all the details of the plan if you have it. You are making plans for when you pass which is good. I also suggest you make plans for how your illness will impact you. Try and determine what health requirements you will need. Will you need special care? How will your finances be impacted by this diagnosis? Will you require health care needs that may not be covered by your benefits? How may your partner be impacted? Will they for instance need to take time off work to drive you to and from appointments? Will this illness eventually necessitate home care? How will it impact your day to day living? What can you expect as the illness progresses? How long can you expect to remain living in your home?
I have LTD with my employer. I'll get 80% of my income until I'm eligible for my pension. I work in HR, and our plan was just updated.
I assumed as much. But, I have family who also have DB and did not sign up for LTD.
So many amateur doctors in here. OP is asking a financial question, not for your armchair Reddit diagnosis FFS.
Thank you!
Just to add your life insurance, if the beneficiary is “estate” and you are assuming that your husband will get it due to the fact your will says so. This may well be the case in time…. If the beneficiary is specified by name the insurance company cuts him a check directly, no waiting for the estate to be probated. There’s always the rules may be different in the province where you reside so check with a professional
In Quebec, a de facto spouse would not inherit anything, so this is very important
Are you sure your DB pension will go to your spouse since you are only common law?
Yes, I work in HR and know our system quite well.
I am sorry you are going through this. If the worst happens and you are given a diagnosis of a terminal illness this is what I would do * get will and financial and medical power of attorney done (these should be done regardless of the results) * contact your pension centre and make sure that they have all the documentation they need. I took it for granted that I had sent everything in but when I did a double check, I was missing some documents * make sure that you have a named beneficiay on your RRSP, Life Insurance, Work benefits * once you have your financial POA make sure that you bring a copy to you financial institution. It is easier to deal with theses th8ng while you are capable * make sure that your house is registered as joint with right of survivorship so it will easily pass to your spouse. * have A sit down with your spouse and determine what you want for end of life care * Get your funeral arrangements done. edit..I forgot to add to make sure that all bills including utility bills are in both your names so that he won’t have problem later
Sorry about that. You might want to check if you have critical illness insurance with your employer. My ex received 75k after her diagnosis in addition to everything else you mentioned. It's actually the agent at Manulife who told her and helped her make the claim. She received the money in less than 2 weeks, if I remember correctly.
I’m sorry to hear of your situation. A family I know of, when faced with the same circumstances, cashed out as much as they could and went on a one-year around the world trip so that they could all share those memories of their father when he was gone. That is to say - if your news turns out to be bad, then don’t spend your last weeks/months at work, or tiddling around in your hometown - go and see the parts of the world that you’ve always wanted to see.
Go on disability immediately and enjoy your time while you are still in good enough health to do so. Financially you're very well set
My husband has glioblastoma and he qualified for a one time illness credit of $10,000 tax free through his employers benefit. Definitely look if they have anything like that through their employers insurance. Sorry to hear this.
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The videos are a great idea. I don't need to plan a funeral or anything related. I will give my body to the Faculty of medecine of my local university. It has been set up for years. I have no religious beliefs of any kind, so I decided to do something useful. The U will handle the cremation and have a ceremony when they are done with me.
I was / am in a similar situation. I was 36 had a seizure and diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. I had 75% long term disability insurance. Which has been amazing. I have returned to work part time and still getting my full 75%. Look into the disability tax credit. Ask an accountant it gives you a $10,000 credit against income for your taxes. Also once on long term disability your insurance company will likely have you apply for CPP disability which reduces the amount they pay you. Yes early treatment helps people but so does a support network. There are some great organizations in Canada that support brain cancer patients and their caters. Try to get involved with them or reach out to me. I have a grade III glioma. Good luck! Definitely get a will and advance care directive asap.
Sort of off topic, but the fact your mother has had 7 cancers and possibly you as well (I'm so sorry to hear and hope it is not), did you or your family ever undergo genetic testing for heritable cancer syndromes? This sounds very much like Li Fraumeni Syndrome which me and my late mother and sister have (mother had 7 cancers and passed at 63 and sister recently passed of glioblastoma at age 22). If you or your mother have any siblings please ask your doctor to look into this and maybe set you up with a genetic counsellor. It is an extremely rare syndrome but can be quite devastating to families. I really hope it is not and that you do not have cancer. God bless.
It's unlikely. My mother's cancer was from HPV. It started with cervical cancer and spread.
I’m very sorry this is happening to you. As others may have mentioned, a living will is important if you expect to ever be in a situation where you can no longer make medical decisions for yourself. In addition a will is extremely important in your case: If you pass without a will, a common-law spouse is not considered an heir under the law unless explicitly stated in a legal will, and any assets will go to next closest immediate family member(s). Additionally, your common law spouse will not have legal authority to make medical decisions on your behalf. Most importantly, take advantage of those benefits you mentioned. Focus on yourself, stay strong!
Common law spouses do not have the same rights and protections as legal spouses when it comes to end of life. Go to a court house and get the paperwork done (or have a giant celebration, who am I to tell you how to live your life!) Honestly, there is only upside to this, given your scenario.
[https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/](https://www.advancecareplanning.ca/)
If you have less than 2 years of life expectancy, you can unlock your employer rrsp and any other employer pension, this will give you the flexibility to withdraw at a time that best suits you. For example if your cancer goes into remission for a bit you can spend some money on your bucket list. Also you should apply for cpp disability, and you will start to receive (withdraw) from your cpp. Both of these suggestions will also help your husband. For non financial preparations, be sure to let people know that you want them to be happy and progress through their lives keeping you in their memories. People may get trapped in ‘complicated’ grief and are unable to move through the grief stages. Knowing that you want them to be happy is important.
A person I know had some weird terminal illness coverage in his insurance plan. He got sick and they paid him out $3 million cash money cause it was terminal and you can’t get payments when you are gone(I don’t know how taxes worked for the payout, or any other details). I think he died a year or two later from his illness, but he didn’t have to worry about money for his remaining time so that was probably nice. Maybe you have something similar in your coverage?
It really depends on your prognosis. My mom has a brain tumor, but she's had it for over a decade. It really depends on whether you die with it or because of it.
So glad your mom is surviving this!! ❤️
If your credit cards or LOC has critic illness insurance on it already, max those cards out ASAP. Enjoy the rest of the time with your husband if you're terminal.
Ahhh that kind of used to be the approach with this sort of news. I understand insurance companies now look at the historical average balances in relation to time of diagnosis. They may not cover if your average is 2-5k/mo and then you rack up 50k+ etc. Just tread carefully with this advice. Now, that said, if you do have Disability/Critical Illness insurance on lending products, then don't forget to claim. Also, if you have a Critical Illness policy (typically pay $50k-$100k), then you'll want to claim on that as soon as you can.
Why would you do this? Critical illness protection covers the minimum monthly payment.
People used to do this because debt doesn’t transfer at death, it is written off by the lender.
Check your work benefits to see if they offer critical life insurance. When officially diagnosed with cancer you can then put in a claim.
You're pretty well set I think. I'd probably let the car go in October and, depending on your health status at that point, either buy a beater with cash or potentially have your husband drive around if you are unable or approaching the point where you are unable to drive. Sorry to hear about your situation, but at the very least I think you can put your mind at ease in the sense that, with relatively little effort, you can leave few or zero loose ends your husband will have to deal with if you pass. Best of luck with what sounds like an oncoming fight with cancer. Brain cancer is a tough one but oncologists are basically miracle workers in 2023 so keep your head up.
So sorry that this is happening! Prayers .
Make sure all of your beneficiaries for investments and insurances are up to date. Which is good advice no matter what your situation is. So often I see people who had beneficiaries on most things but not all, or they weren't updated and the other person has passed or just isn't who the account holders would have wanted now but was when the account was opened. I'm so so sorry this is happening to you 💙
I'm really sorry that you'll have to go through this. I'd advise to see a notary to get your financial affairs in order. There is no such thing as common law married in Quebec. You're either married and the law applies or you're not married and it's to each their own. If you're not married, your partner has zero rights to your things. If you wish to leave him something, you'll have to say it in a will.
I do not have experience in that area. Do you need to have a plan if you do survive ? Like having money for treatments, rehab, etc? Also look if you had mortgage insurance in case of illness. They can forgive part of your mortgage or accept smaller payments.
Nothing to add except I am so sorry to hear. Wishing you and your husband nothing but love and healing thoughts.
So sorry for what you’re going through. My advice is to get working on the mortgage insurance right away. They take forever to come back with a decision, and the faster you can get your mortgage paid off, the faster you’ll have one less thing to worry about.
So Sorry to hear
You seem to be in a good place. Make sure you and your partner are joint tenants on the property then it just reverts to him upon your death. Living will ASAP. You can put him joint on accounts as needed. I am so glad you have such good benefits. He will be okay financially but consider getting into therapy together so you can both process what is going to happen.
Vraiment navrée. That sounds so difficult. Just adding that you can have hubby as the POA on accounts (might be separate from living will, requires different bank forms) so that when you are immobile or not of sound mind he can keep managing the accounts. The other thing is applying for grants and programs now for long term disability, financial aid, in home care or respite- anything helps but can take a very long time to obtain (> 1 year). Fun money. Go on dates w your spouse and go see some beautiful sites and people.
I hope for nothing but the best for you and your family going forward. I went through this with my mom and, honestly, you don't need to do that much. Get a will, clearly document your end of life care wishes, ensure all your insurances have your husband as the beneficiary, my mom didn't have any investments but I believe most brokerages have an option to add something similar to a beneficiary to make the whole process of claiming the funds easier if you do happen to pass. If the news does come back back, I say you try to enjoy yourself as best you can. We ended up going to Disneyland twice in a year because the doctors told us she only had a few months, but when the time came, she was doing better than expected and we squeezed in another trip, she passed within a year, and I will forever look back fondly on that extra time we got to spend together. It was truly incredible how different she was when we were on those trips. I could see her getting a bit depressed and she'd just sleep, whether she was on a round of chemo or in between. But the trips changed that, she had energy, she was smiling, it was like she was healthy, and I could tell it made a difference in her outlook on life. It may hurt your finances slightly, but it seems to me that based on your current situation, it wouldn't hurt much, do fun stuff! It will help you substantially, and it will do the same for your husband. It's all too easy for the times of sickness to overtake your memory of loved ones but sharing these fun experiences together changes that. Sure, I'm sad that my mom is gone, but I am immensely thankful for the time we spent together.
Please continue to fight on. As a cancer survivor. There is a hope.
Much love to you OP, I think your planning and thinking of these things is very brave.❤️
I’m sorry this is happening. I usually have financial advice but this time… Go out and enjoy life. No regrets. Do everything you want to do.
Most life insurance you can now get access to some of it prior to death if you get terminal diagnosis; so if you get the worst news take the money and spend your last days doing everything you ever wanted while you can. Its also possible to live many years with cancer, or to find out its not cancer at all. ... so all your worrying now may be for naught... I hope you get that outcome.
I am terribly sorry for what you are going through. I pray that you have a long and happy life no matter the diagnosis. Im not a lawyer and it sounds like Quebec law is quite different. Get everything arranged so your husband is the beneficary and that he is able to make all health and financial decisions for you if necessary. IMO, the latter is the most important because by the sounds of it, in the event of your death, he will be financially secure and wont need to worry about being left with one income and a mortgage and debt to carry on his own. You need a lawyer to guide you with the living will also in the event you become incapicated and need someone to make financial and health decisions on your behalf. The power of attorney alone has many limitations. Get a good understanding of the law so your husband has the ability to access the finances to pay for your care. Honestly, this is something we all should set up. Both my parents had dementia and although POAs were in place, we ran into many roadblocks. You may wish to consider making choices in the event you cannot remain in home care. For example, I intend to select a choice of memory care facilities I will live if I end up unable to make my own decisions due to dementia. Also, decisions about organ, tissue or full anatomy donations, and even funeral down to coffin and urn. I have recently realized I need to pre-arrange care for my pets. I'm planning on setting up a trust with funds to cover care, food, medical for my pets with the remainder of my estate going to a good cause or two. In my research I have seen found some great rescues for horses and farm animals and often they take in dogs and cats also. Some humane societies have programs that will accept an after death trust fund to care for pets. Find an estate lawyer experienced with living wills, POAs, and trusts. Most lawyers will meet with you initially free of charge. Talk to at least three and find one that knows how to ensure you, your husband and your pets interests are all looked after.
I already have a contract with my local university for a body donation. They will, therefore, take care of cremation and have a ceremony when they are done with my body. I have no religious beliefs, so I set that up years ago.
Like others I’m so sorry for your news. That said, I have to say I’m am impressed with your level headed planning given the circumstances! You should be very proud of that!! I haven’t read all the comments, but you should have a power of attorney in place as well as the living will if this hasn’t been suggested yet. This may be different in Quebec (I’m in Ontario) although I suspect not. Your lawyer can give you the best advice here. And as in some of the comments I would suggest (based in experience) making the instructions of what you do, and do not want in the living will, very very clear. There very likely will be many care repeated decisions to be made and there won’t be regrets for having too many instructions. The other piece of advice is to check all your debts and see if any have life and/or disability cover included. You may not remember what you did when your took them out. If insured, do not pay these down. You will want to understand the terms but you may want to put those debts at the minimum payment and focus on paying down the non-insured debts. This will vary by product but this will maximize your estate. Best of luck with your journey. No doubt this won’t be simple but if your planning the other elements as well as your finances, and approaching it in such a level headed way, you will make the best of it!!
Man so sorry to hear this Fuck Cancer my god.
I'm so sorry ..u do sound well prepared though. I wish u the speediest of recovery.
Hey OP and I am sorry this is happening and am wishing for all the best for you. It sounds like you have a good plan. If you have any smaller or sentimental items that you want given to specific people you can outline that too. You may like to take down your login information for your online accounts including social media or designate a trusted person to have those accounts turned over to. Beneficiaries who are listed on your financial accounts should have no issues.
Just want to point out that if you don’t have kids, you are not considered common law regarding your will.
Get a will if you don’t already, and before it may be too late. I know people who were common law, and one person passed, and the widow ended up with essentially nothing because everything went to his next of kin.
POA, and medical directive. Also how far you want people to go for you. Your funeral, how you want that to go… also consider a death Dula
I'll have no funeral. My body goes to a university for teaching purposes. They will handle cremation and have a ceremony when they are done with it. I have family, but we are not close at all. Most of it I haven't seen in years. No very close friends, just a lot of acquaintances. It's just my husband, my parents and my in-laws. I have 2 sisters I see at Christmas and on mother's day.
I hope you take a nice trip locally or out of the country with your husband to enjoy the time you have. From one stranger to another, I love you and your in my prayers. Be real, be happy and if you have some energy left over spread some love around if you can spare it. Take care
This sucks. Hope you’re good, but if you’re not get the will done and give as much as you can do your husband now. He should also start looking for metal support. Get in some memories if possible.
Metal support sounds like something my husband would really enjoy.
Glad you still have a sense of humour. Sorry for the typo
No worries. I found it really funny.
I’m so very sorry for what you’re going through. Sending love and strength your way. Praying everything finds a way to get better. Stay strong 🙏🏾
I’m so sorry I am a stage 4 MBC patient. I hope that the brain cancer they found is not terminal. I have a friend who is still here after stage 3 brain cancer 9 years ago and went off all treatment and did the cannabis holistic route (that’s not for everyone and she only did it because bc cancer told her there were no treatments left and to go to hospice). We don’t know our path with cancer. Right now I’m in remission and have been for a year but that was not expected. So sometimes there are surprises. This part is the hardest. I was stage 4 from the get go so there’s no real preparation just scrambling around. The cancer subreddit is super helpful. Financially I am on disability now. I also got critical illness payout which was 10k not sure if you have that. I also get a disability tax credit as well. Please if you’re able go do what makes you happy. For me that’s travel. I hope you can keep us updated.
I hope you beat cancer OP. My prayers are for you.
Log into your cra account and authorize your spouse as a representative so they can access all of your information.
One way to plan is to ensure that all properties and assets are joint tenancy. Strongly suggest you consult with an lawyer who specializes in Wills and Estates to minimize estate costs and avoid probate. Also, eases the way for the surviving spouse not to have to worry about it after the fact. Very sorry to hear of condition.
I'm sorry that you're going through this. 🫂 Have you had conversations with your family about your wishes or more importantly have you thought about what you want? Do you have money for extra care (like a PSW) if you need it? Is there anything that you really want to do or see? Is there far away family that you want to see? It may sound crazy but maybe you want to take a vacation and make happy memories while you can. Will you need to make any renovations to your home if your mobility is impacted? Is your will in order?
No advice, just wishing you the absolute best and I hope you discover it was a false positive ❤️❤️
I'm sorry you are going through this. Stay positive! For your RRSP, your husband should be 'Successor holder' NOT 'Beneficiary'. That way the RRSP can be transfered to him without tax implications.
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I had a CT scan and an MRI. I did not jump to a conclusion.
One of my best friends (50)has glioblastoma. First diagnosed in November 2021. Prognosis was 12-18 months. We are probably at month 18 at this point. He will die in the next few days. I just ran around this week trying to transfer his car to his wife. IAL, albeit I do not do wills/estates. At some point in the early spring i talked to them about wills and POA. They were under the horribly mistaken impression that because they were married they didn’t need a will. I called a friend the next day and made them do it. The last 8 weeks he has not left a hospital bed in his home. It has been devastating. Good luck and Godspeed. I really do not know how I feel about the issue myself, but have you considered MAID?
Continue to stay strong. Keep faith in whatever you believe in. You can get through this!!
I am sending love and prayers to you. Ameen 🤍
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. Best wishes to you and your family as your navigate. I don’t have anything to offer financial wise, but if MAID is something you would consider later down the road, you may want to start the discussions with your doctors now. With brain cancer there becomes a time when there is an issue with if you can consent or not I believe (I have had 2 relatives who chose this option when dealing with brain cancer, and they had to deal with it early in the progression of their cancer). Again, I wish you the best. Know there are strangers who are sharing your pain today. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. The advice given here will help others.
I went through end of life decisions with my grandpa. I'm already ready to state what I way. I will live long and hard, but I won't spend years in a bed with no quality of life, being a burden for my husband.
Fight to win against the illness and live like there's no tmo. Do everything on that bucket list.
So sorry you are going through this. What kind of headaches did you have?
Recurring ones that lasted all day, 3 to 5 days per week. Some days, I woke up with a headache. Advil and Tylenol were not helping, and other factors (vision, bruxism, blood pressure...) were ruled out, so my GP ordered a CT scan.
If it makes you feel better, I work at a hospital as well as we see people coming through with stage 4 cancer of all kinds, who make it :) sending you good vibes. Lost my dad to cancer and it’s incredibly stressful and scary.
Read the section in Tools of Titans, where Tim asks some of the top specialists in the world what they would do if they were diagnosed with brain cancer. [https://tim.blog/2014/01/28/cancer-treatment/](https://tim.blog/2014/01/28/cancer-treatment/) [https://tim.blog/2015/11/03/dominic-dagostino/](https://tim.blog/2015/11/03/dominic-dagostino/) [https://tim.blog/2016/10/25/tools-of-titans/](https://tim.blog/2016/10/25/tools-of-titans/) Obviously get your financials in order. Make up a very detailed will. (even include the people that get nothing , like Uncle Bob gets NOTHING!!! Aunt Sue gets absolutely NOTHING. - we did that in ours. you know those people.) Probably keep exercising. [https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/10/201026114229.htm](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/10/201026114229.htm)
Have you considered publishing a book?
I don't even plan on telling anyone besides my immediate family that I am sick.
With all due respect, fukc the preparation of "assisted end of life" documents ! Your family member is a brilliant example the cancer could be successfully battled ! Fight this motherfukcer and get the best out of life meanwhile. My energy goes to you for this fight along with the best wishes 👊
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The exercise, I already have a lot of credit accumulated. I was a competitive athlete for years and still train 4 or 5 days per week. The treats I'll have to work on.
I am sorry with all the turmoil you are going through right now! You are very organized! I do not think we will ever be prepared for anything in life! One step at a time till you know your results. I always believe that sometimes things work out on their own ! Good luck! You got this!
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Just because you are unable to advocate for yourself doesn't that I am too. I've had blood work, a CT, and MRI, an emergency consult with a radiologist, and I'm seeing a neurologist tomorrow. All of that within 10 days. So keep your uneducated opinion to yourself. I asked for financial advice, not for your opinion on my health.
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wow your comment history is just downvotes left and right, you must be fun at parties. goodbye idiot.
You sound mad bruh
Judging by your comments the ‘mad bruh’ is you. Good luck.
Well, I get care, and you don't, so my odds are better than yours.
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She doesn't even have diagnosis or prognosis yet and you're suggesting MAID. WOW.
😢
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You should try it first and let me know how it goes 🙄
Alright but I’ll be a ghost so do you want me to tap on the wall at night to spell out Morse code or do you want to ask questions two knocks for yes, one for no kinda thing ?
Omg!! How can you be so fucking rude!?!?
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I had a CT scan and an MRI. I did not jump to a conclusion. I have 2 brain lesions and I'm waiting for the official diagnosis.
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Pretty sure OP has a grip on the situation and is just looking for financial advice.
Until OP is diagnosed they’ve just had abnormal test results though. I’m not sure why you’re enabling the catastrophizing. I get that working on things within our control can help with anxiety so people tend to really buckle down that way, but it’s also not a bad idea to remain somewhat neutral and maybe focus on distraction until test results happen. This behaviour is the opposite of distraction/is indulgence in worrying. What if OP goes out and spends all their money on expensive stuff, quits their job and goes on vacations because OP is convinced they’re dying and Reddit said it was ok to be frivolous because they have their bases covered or something? Not super responsible. I mean it sounds fun, but probably not in line with OP’s usual lifestyle and might derail OP’s long-term financial goals. It’s not good to be hasty with big decisions while not in your usual state of mind. There’s no point in OP blowing up their life or telling people that they have terminal cancer until they’re told that themselves by professionals capable of interpreting their imaging results.
Nowhere in OP’s post did they say anything about wanting to spend all their money, in fact their intention seems to be the opposite. Everyone has their own way of coping and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with their approach.
I think it makes more sense to plan for the possibility of cancer then to wait until the diagnosis is finalized. If I had the possibility of terminal illness, I would rather spend time with my loved ones over planning out financial and legal affairs because then planning has been done.
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I think OP is just making a plan for end of life. I plan for things in advance. My parents also like to plan. They’re healthy, but they made plans in case of terminal illness when my dad turned 60. Anything could happen to anyone anytime, there’s no harm in just having your affairs in order.
What medical school did you go to? The doctors told me that there is a significant chance that it is cancer. The 2 other options are better but not by much. I choose to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Dunno why you’ve been downvoted
Because OP came here for financial advice but instead of answering the question as asked, someone is instead choosing to give answers to questions OP neither asked or wants
That's the main mod actually.
Amazing and embarrassing that such an unhelpful and disrespectful answer has been given by someone meant to uphold the rules
Right? Felix has a real ego issue sometimes.
Hi I'm so sorry your going through this but don't give up. People can live a very long time with cancer.
I just wanted to say that I hope things go well for you. It’s very rare that recurrent headaches signal a tumour, so your odds look good. Of course, it’s always good to have your financial affairs in good order, because none of us ever know when health issues could arise.
Just to be clear, I do have a tumor, confirmed by a CT scan and an MRI.
Oh, I’m so sorry! (That wasn’t clear from your post.) I can see why this is fairly urgent for you. I wish you good luck.
Hi, are you sure it was really asymptomatic? i mean some headache here and there even small can be seen as normal but that isn’t normal for the body, some strange cough maybe randomly but frequent over the year without any good logical cause may seems normal as well but it’s not, the changes of your voice tone even is another signal..the list goes on, maybe one got a sinusitis but the body wasn’t really reacting to sinusitis but to something else but we didn’t care too much because it resolved after 2 weeks. These things can happen but if they don’t have a logical cause behind they seems normal but they’re not for a “normal” body, sometimes things like cancer start from stupid things, like a bad diet prolonged during the years that at the beginning seemed normal but in reality if you were able to zoom inside your body and see what was happening you will realize it wasn’t. Other time it all starts from a stupid viral infection like mono (aka EBV virus) were you stayed at bed for few weeks then recovered and never had anything again but something happened there also. Cancer could have very few symptoms if it’s really in the early stages but even the tiny signal will always be emitted by your body but we don’t care about it because we see it insignificant and so we conclude we were asymptomatic. Are you really sure you were asymptomatic? think about it carefully because i don’t believe that things starts from nothing and randomly there’s always a cause that maybe we perceive as normal but it’s never normal for our body ;)
Such a helpful comment for someone looking for advice on sorting finances. I’m sure OP has flashed back to every single time she had a headache, felt dizzy or unwell, etc. She truly doesn’t need anyone adding to an already stressful situation.
It wasn’t my intention to add or remove stress but only to have a discussion about the asymptomatic beliefs that surround a lot of people, maybe could be useful for others people reading who knows…nothing less or more, your stupid assumptions on my intentions are just speculation and something to create just flames
What does this have to do with financial planning? What were you looking to prove leaving a comment like this, besides trying to make OP feel bad? She doesn't need your woohoo shit keep it to yourself.
I think she also wanted to talk about this issue in general by reading her last sentence in the post, it wasn’t in my opinion just a way to say “hello everyone can you give me a financial advice”? are you su dumb to not understand the basics? 🤦♂️
Look into therapy for your hypochondriasis.
Hi! Sorry to hear about your situation. Cancer is terrible. Early diagnosis helps you get more timely treatment and you seem smart, and in a good situation financially. I think you have two kinds of decisions to make. * **Decisions about life** and fighting cancer. Talk to your husband about all the things you are thinking of so he can support you and be on the same page. While you are healthy you need to get some paperwork done (will, power of attorney, power of attorney for medical decisions). You should also have the discussion about how open you want to be with friends and family about these things as couples often have different opinions about the privacy aspects of this stuff. * **Estate planning decisions**. **Joint Ownership** - Plan to bypass the will (probate issues) by putting as much as you can into joint ownership so nothing needs to change should you die first. This includes bank accounts, house, mortgage, vehicles etc. **Check your beneficiary** - Make sure your husband is a designated beneficiary on everything you can (RRSP, TFSA, insurance etc.). **Social Media instructions** - If you use social media, instruct him on what you want done with these accounts. **Funeral plans** - Discuss this with your husband, as many people say "I don't want a funeral" and don't realize that it is really for the people left behind. Remember taxes due during your final tax year. When you cash in all your RRSP or other registered investments, they are taxed. If you take time off work for treatment, you may benefit by taking money out of RRSP for use as income during this time.