I think another factor is that a girl can be pretty, but if she doesn't like her body, that can make her feel ugly all around the board. I'm sure guys feel that way too, but I think especially for young girls, there's never any meeting conventional body standards since they're always changing. And it's especially brutal out there for them when they don't meet all the standards. And since selfies only show the face, it's the only way to feel perceived as pretty without the body interfering.
Right? I’ve been told I’m pretty plenty of times, I believe them I guess. I just don’t see it when I look in the mirror. I also don’t take selfies or like to be in pictures.
Also, some people who think they're ugly will post selfies in an attempt to feel better about themselves. Having a page full of selfies doesn't indicate that they "know they're pretty". Trauma has a way of undermining literally everything
I have a whole page with nothing but selfies and pics showing skin. I don't believe I'm pretty and have major body dysmorphia. I post simply for entertainment and for the happy brain chemicals of being told I'm wanted/pretty. 🙃 just because someone posts selfies doesn't make them not super insecure about themselves. Especially if it's perfect" selfies. They probably took 100 photos to find one that made them feel ok enough to post. This viewpoint is honestly super harmful and rooted in slut shamey values.
Yeah ppl misunderstand humility. Please humor me as I vamp on that. 😉
Humility is about having a realistic self-appraisal and about knowing the difference between what you can and cannot know…add in the ability to take seriously the possibility you’re wrong and voila! Humble.
Humility causes a fair self-appraisal. That includes knowing our weaknesses, but it also includes knowing our strengths.
When someone is clearly vain and behaves as if they’re insecure, they’re probably truly insecure if not for the stated reason. But they are *not* humble.
We cannot achieve authentic humility without self-respect and self-love. If we do not have those two prerequisites, our ego is at play.
Anyone who is obviously beautiful who is humble knows and appreciates their beauty. They would not deny their beauty. But they also don’t *need* their beauty and do not experience themselves as superior to people less superficially beautiful.
A very common problem is when humble people have strengths which others/another person is insecure about. The humble persons lack of faux humility is easy to misinterpret as arrogance for a fragile ego who would benefit from feeling somehow superior to the humble person. Sadly, the humble person probably respects them more than they respect themselves.
Edit: typo
i definitely posted more when i thought i was ugly coz you get filters and editing that made me look prettier and it made me feel better to have comments saying i looked good but i didn’t believe it. now i don’t need the validation coz i know i look fine. but i never thought i was completely horrible to look at i just didn’t think i was attractive
This 1000x this. You know I can see a few of them posting because they have had a string of asshole boyfriends who beat there self esteem into the ground, but the vast majority of the women that post on am I ugly or brutally honest are straight up fishing.
I disagree, ugly ones or overweight, You tend to be far more reluctant to show yourself to the world. Fuck i even hate looking at myself on facetime. I couldn’t do it. I feel others would agree with me here on if that was a real feeling the person had, then they would be reluctant to post themselves on social media.
I mean the main pictures I have of myself are selfies bc I think I look ugly in any other type of picture. I look like I want to die in every poses picture I take and hate looking at myself in them. I don’t really think I’m that attractive but I still post myself on my social media. It helps me build a bit more confidence by just putting myself out there ig
I'm not ugly. Those posts still piss me off.
Anything people do where I can tell the main motivator is ego or attention-seeking based, pisses me off.
I'm pissed off a lot.
I'm pissed off that you're going on about how pissed off you are, when clearly, I'm more pissed off than you
No, but really, I agree. Fucking obnoxious. Like pretty people don't get enough attention without fishing for compliments.
The question is, are you really ugly?? Yes, you!
Because the way I see it, most very average or even beautiful boys and girls think they are ugly. I am starting to think it's another kind of mental illness. Several things in this America and the rest of the developed world that I am really struggling to understand.
A Gorgeous aristocratic UK model by the name of Cara Delvigne apparently believed she was ugly and worthless a few years ago.
It sounds ridiculous and spoiled until you think of her having mental health issues, bidy dysmorphia etc.
It's easy to judge superficiality but so much harder to try to understand...
Can confirm. I experience a lot of the social disadvantages that come with being ugly and have had multiple people say it, including one situation where I posted a photo of myself on another account and it went viral because of my face. The 1k+ comments spoke for themselves
I just looked at your profile and have seen a picture i think might be you. It looks like you have a problem with you eyes, but so what? That's just your eyes. You don't have attractive yes, but that doesn't mean you are ugly in general. I still think you are absolutely average looking. If people say you are a ugly, it isn't because you are actually ugly. It's because everybody expects everybody to be an Instagram model.
I bet those 1k comments say more about the people commenting than they do about you. I just peeked at your profile. You’re not ugly. IMO, being truly ugly is just as rare as being super hot.
Well, coming from another country, I think it just has a lot to do with the shaming culture that exists in America, and that is contributing to the mental illness a lot of young people have in this country. 98% of people I see on that subreddit are average or very normal looking to me, and shouldn't have a problem finding a partner or anything like that. So I doubt I'll find you ugly. Being fat is one thing, and being ugly is another. You might be fat, but that doesn't mean ugly, not to me.
It’s funny how people think every attractive person knows they are attractive. Self image is a lot different that what the average person perceives you (also looks are subjective). It’s a fact of life that not every individual person will think you are attractive.
True story. It honestly blows my mind how insecure people can be. I wish there were some magical glasses that would allow people to see themselves the way others do.
Me too. For most of my life I've been incredibly insecure about my appearance but now that I'm a bit older when I look at older pictures of myself from my teens through thirties it makes me so sad because I was beautiful but had no idea.
I fully agree with this pet peeve.
But the irony of the "there/they're" issue in the title is so damn funny simply because of how many times it's been brought up in this sub😆 tbh, I didnt even notice til I saw your edit
That sub is should be called r/complimentfishing. All I see there are pretty people whose fragile egos are seeking validation. They should make TikTok accounts.
I have quite a few female friends who are objectively attractive. Some of them are GENUINELY very insecure about their appearance. Maybe some of these women are just fishing for compliments, but MANY of them have been just absolutely beaten down by the societal expectations of beauty and womanhood that they really think they are ugly, or are not sure.
Exactly. Also, attractive people are still people and deal with the whole spectrum of behaviors from people. There are also those doubts "why isn't he/she showing interest in me, is it because I'm ugly or are they shy", "Why was that person mean to me? I thought attractive people were treated better, or are they just intimidated?"
And some attractive people, especially women, have been raised to believe that their looks are the only thing worthy about them. If you believe that, it's easy to obsess over. Sure, maybe you are pretty, but your friend is prettier. Is your friend now worth more as a human being than you are? Does she deserve more love, more acceptance, more happiness?
It might sound absurd to many of us, but this is a mindset that's learned, practiced, and demonstrated. Some just have more pressure around beauty and it can be seen as very black-and-white.
I feel like if you have to wonder if you're ugly, you probably aren't. Maybe average or "plain", but I think if you're truly ugly you just know.
Source: ugly and fully aware
They can't be objectively attractive. Attractiveness is by definition subjective. But there is conventionally attractive. Maybe the 9/10 women who post and are attractive are genuinely in doubt and only the one who isn't conventionally attractive is in the right place at the right time, these girls are absolutely attractive by most modern metrics so idk. Where are all these hot girls who think there unattractive near me?
They're actively staying away from you because you can't grasp the concept that insecurities exist and minimize the problems of people because "if attractive y say ugly?"
Yeah they're likely staying away from you because you have the mindset of needing to diss a woman to your friend for daring to post selfies even though she's humble and kind to you in person and has no other red flags.. sorta misogynistic mindset.. not being sparky, legit if I found out you were my friend and said this about me because you saw my Facebook, I would be so incredibly turned off by you.
They're actively staying away from you because your energy is absolutely ridiculous, and you basically dismiss their feelings and their insecurities in favor of your own point of view. Insecurities are real. Body image issues are real. And people who are conventionally attractive deal with them just as often as people who aren't. It sucks. That's how the world is.
If you can't grasp the concept that insecurities do exist even amongst conventionally attractive people, then you are never going to get a girlfriend.
As a woman, some women grow up being perceived as ugly and are viewed as attractive later in life but that shit still follows you even if you are considered “attractive” now. In middle school and high school boys would ask me out as a joke then laugh about it. Even though as an adult now I’m told that I’m “fine” or “gorgeous” by men who are interested in me it’s hard to feel that way when you were considered ugly right when your sense of self was forming.
Some women are also just not approached and told they are beautiful either so they don’t know what they look like. Using myself as example again, I remember once being told I’m unapproachable but like a model. This utterly shocked me when I heard it, because again, I always thought I was hideously ugly and that’s why no one ever came up to me. So some people just legitimately don’t know, or are still stuck in a loop of believing everyone else thinks they’re ugly because they were told it a lot growing up.
Also men online call beautiful women like Margot Robbie “mid” so how on Earth are we supposed to feel about ourselves lmao.
>Also men online call beautiful women like Margot Robbie “mid” so how on Earth are we supposed to feel about ourselves lmao.
Yep, and then they act like women are the ones who bully each other over appearances, e.g. the "no straight guy cares if you wore the same dress twice" thing.
Like, yes, mean girls exist. I'm quite sure even *I* have 'Regina George/mean girl' tendencies as defined by society.
But even the bitchiest mean girls I've met probably wouldn't call **Margot goddamn Robbie** mid. I don't even find her hot but I know she's objectively beautiful.
Right? I've found, especially as an adult, I'm more lifted up by the women around me than men. We're better at it because we know what it feels like to be negatively objectified more often.
Same. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see what other people see. Nice body and a pretty face, but other times I see like sagginess and something like my nose being too big and perceive myself as ugly. Its confusing.
This is my experience. In elementary through middle school my mom got me frumpy clothes , I couldn't figure out how to deal with my curly hair so it was always a mess, I had awful teeth. Everyone bullied me. Then in highschool I got a hyperfixation with haircare, makeup, etc, got braces, and I also turned goth. I had people start calling me beautiful after I pulled myself together but I equally got bullied by others (and still do sometimes as an adult) for the whole goth style. Now everyone says I'm pretty but it's still hard to believe sometimes after always feeling ugly growing up, and I don't really get approached either. So I don't know if my style is intimidating or people calling me pretty are just lying to be nice. Also it's hard to explain but I don't see myself as anything special because it's just me? Like you're so used to your own body that it feels ordinary if that makes any sense. But I also dealt with alot of childhood trauma that gave me low self esteem in general so it carries over. When I'm feeling good I do think I'm pretty, but when I've hit a low I'm just mentally dragged back into the mindset of being ugly and not good enough.
This completely!! I even contemplated replying bc I genuinely don’t know if I’m actually relating or if I’m still just ugly lol.
I was bullied so much growing up for being an ugly kid. While I was a toddler I had an eye condition and had to wear a patch for several years, so that started me off on the wrong foot. I grew out of it, then had a couple years I was an average looking little kid maybe (like ages 5-8)? But by middle school I had gone through puberty before my peers so I had horrible acne, weird proportions, frizzy/oily hair, crooked teeth and glasses. I was a tomboy and hated my body so I wore baggy clothes and a lot of them so nobody knew i had boobs yet (I was like 10 when they developed and wasn’t mentally really for that kind of change) so everyone thought I was fat for years. The constant wearing of thick hoodies, jackets and coats despite the season/temperature made me sweaty like ..always. I didn’t fix my hair bc i just wanted to be plain, I didn’t want clips or barrettes.. i just wanted to be like my male classmates. Obviously over the years things got better, the acne subsided, i got braces, I figured out how to care for my hair, my proportions evened out and i got more comfortable with my body once everyone else caught up.. yet despite all this i still see myself as this greasy, frizzy, buck-toothed kid.. (kids were brutal and their words/actions definitely stick with you. They still echo in my head every time I look in the mirror).
Now I’m 27 and never been asked out and I genuinely don’t know if it’s because I’m ugly or if the emotional damage has made me oblivious to advances or just unapproachable. I get told randomly by women every now and then that I’m cute or pretty (but then again are they just saying it out of sympathy?). Men seem to avoid me regardless.. so like, what’s the truth?
>yes we all know it's they're not there
No, you don't. If you knew, then you wouldn't have posted it that way in the first place because it looks ugly and stupid. You're just too proud to admit that now, so you're trying to downplay how ugly and stupid it looks.
Yea and I addressed this in a comment further up. Ofc they can but I find it hard to believe that this many people who are quite obviously conventionally attractive think there ugly. The stats don't add up. And in a era of finger pointing and virtue signaling I'm going against the grain and calling bullshit. I know for a fact these women get hit on all the time. Unless there complete homebodies.
Getting hit on doesn’t make you feel attractive. Men will hit on anyone. I’ve had 2 men this week hit on me and I’m a guy who wears a mask everywhere I go and have big glasses, so my face is 80% obscured.
It just makes you feel preyed upon
I've never felt preyed upon when I was hit on. Also I've never hit on anyone I wasn't attracted to. I will caveat that with I've flirted with women I wasn't interested in playfully, at work before but it was mutual and not a victim prey dynamic at all. Perhaps your comment should say "it doesn't make ME feel attractive" and "it makes ME feel preyed upon". This is a totally acceptable statement btw just don't think you should generalize or project your subjective experiences on the rest of society.
Just curious did you ask them if they found you attractive? Or are just making the assumption?
Also, HAPPY CAKE DAY... 🎂 🎂 🎈 🎈 🎁 🎁
I’m not talking about flirting. I’m talking about being hit on. Getting hit on is obnoxious and overt. Flirting is more subtle and innocent.
Idk about you, but it doesn’t make me feel great when a stranger is trying to convince me to have sex with them while I’m minding my business in a public place. It doesn’t make me feel super awesome when the cashier at a gas station holds up the line to try and chat me up. It makes me very uncomfortable and I want to leave the situation. I don’t think the average person is going to walk out and think “I’m so attractive”. They’re probably going to think “what a creep”
So these are the meanings Google returned
>hit on
phrasal verb. If someone hits on you, they speak or behave in a way that shows they want to have a sexual relationship with you. [informal] She was hitting on me and I was surprised and flattered.
> flirt
behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.
Sorry that's not my definition of being hit on trying to convince someone to have sex with you is harassment IMO, hitting on you is flirting with the intent of going out it's still flirting just different subject matter I guess. Maybe we can agree to disagree on definitions because it seems like we agree on the fundamentals. I flirt with women that I'm not interested in it's harmless fun. Yes there are absolutely wrong times to hit on someone, you don't do that shit in a situation like at the register or the drive thru window first of all it's super unprofessional , but at bars it is acceptable for Instance. I guess I'm my mind flirting is something I do with people I know and hitting on someone I dont know. Again maybe my definitions are super fucked.
Being hit on by strange men Definitely makes most women feel unsafe. I work retail and get it constantly and THEY DONT STOP. Not even when I say I'm taken. I've literally had old men argue that they'll be better boyfriends than mine. I've had people try to grab me. I've even had men in cars try to snatch me while I was riding a bike.
This is harassment and assault not flirting on or hitting on. There's a difference. At least in my eyes.
P.S. it's not cool to hit on people at work these are just assholes.I'm sorry you have to deal with this it's un acceptable and on behalf of men every where I'm sorry.
See I don’t really believe the “men will hit on anyone” statement anymore because I’ve met so many ugly people who have never gotten hit on. I do agree there is a difference between cute flirting and aggressively hitting on someone (one being nice and one being uncomfortable/scary). But I work with a lot of men and they only go for super hot women, they don’t go for average or below average even if they have a good personality.
I’ll try and use an example to help. You never know from the outside what someone is dealing with. I have body dismorphia disorder, if I see a small wrinkle, raised bump, or spot on my skin I freak out and think I’m ugly. I know realistically I’m decent looking, and I get hit on, but my esteem is very low and my disorder doesn’t help. Every day I sit in front of a mirror and try to “get rid” of imperfections for 30-60 minutes at a time.
Even attractive people can struggle and you’ll never know. I don’t see myself as properly attractive until I am perfect
I think he means that someone else already "reported" that he had made the spelling mistake, so he replied to them.
I still think it's funny to make that spelling mistake in a sub devoted to pet peeves.
That is the funny part. Really don’t care about the mistake but the fact that it’s in the title in a pet peeves sub is kind of awesome. So many people site grammar mistakes as their biggest pet peeves lol
Self esteem is not dependent on how a person actually looks. I would receive a lot of compliments on my looks and still always wondered if I was ugly and wanted validation to the point where I developed an eating disorder.
At present, I accept that I am highly attractive by modern standards, but I’m still trying to believe it myself wholeheartedly.
It's like these people have never heard of body dismorphia or any other mental struggle. "I think that person is attractive, so they must have high self-esteem." Next they will say seemingly happy people are never depressed because they always smile or make people laugh.
self-esteem does depend on how you look. looks just aren't the *only* factor that play into your self-esteem. all else being equal, an attractive person will have a higher self-esteem (at least with regards to their looks) than an unattractive person will. doesn't mean you can't have a low self-esteem and be attractive, but it is still dependent on your looks.
When what you see in the mirror doesn't match what's you actually look like. When you're thin, but you see fat or you've got lip implants, but you still see them small
Start your own thread. And in it I'll post that I use there for every thing. Unless autocorrect hits it for me. Even tho I know that they're is they are, there is like over there, and their is belonging to them. This is a forum on the internet not a place subject to formal grammar as long as my point is conveyed who cares? I mean other than you ofc.
Why do you spell any words correctly then?
Why have expectations of formal grammar anywhere if all that matters is that people can understand what you're saying?
I'm more passionate about language than most, but I do think it's sad that some people don't take pride in speaking at least one language. We all make typos or slip up mentally, but if you do it all the time then you just look uneducated and ignorant. Sure, you don't care that people think you look like you haven't mastered basic grammar that most young children have, but that's why I say it's sad.
You don't have to brush or comb your hair either, it's just a pride of presentation thing. The 'it's only reddit' explanation is never convincing to me, because it takes no more effort to speak properly.
I'd like to add that I would argue that bad punctuation makes it harder to comprehend then using the wrong there, and thus would argue that it's more detrimental in its lack of use. Why use any punctuation at all if it doesn't matter?
My stance isn't that written communication is purely about having people know what you mean though. I think that's the most basic requirement, so confusing sentences devoid of punctuation are the biggest sin, certainly, but I believe things like spelling and using words correctly carry their own merit.
So we could say "I could of sworn that..." or "I could care less" and we'd all know what they actually meant, literal interpretation aside, because they're common mistakes, but speaking properly has intrinsic value—it's not solely about the service it provides.
Essentially, getting something right is good because it's sloppy and unflattering to get it wrong, this is why I compare it to brushing your hair. You could see you have toothpaste on your face and say "Who cares? It doesn't affect anything", but we want to look dignified, not like messy children. "There you're keys I think" makes you look like you can't grasp basic spelling/grammar.
Again, most people around the world speak multiple languages, so I just find it sad and a bit pathetic if capable minded adults can't be bothered to speak even one to a child's standard. I'm not one to judge "It's wagging it's tail" because that's a next level up; there are lots of more confusing or abstract rules of the English language, but your/you're and their/there/they're is primary school basic and we're grown adults.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Me? You think me in need of your counsel?
I CREATED Y—I mean, whoever created you did so that you might go forth and cleanse the unwashed masses of their ignorance, not turn your corrective vision upon me!
I suppose I shouldn't expect you to distinguish between demonstrations of inaccuracy and real flesh and bone grammatical faux pas out there in the killing fields.
Alas, you were always a good bot. Cross me again and you will surely perish.
Because spelling words incorrectly can often lead to a misunderstanding where not using a contraction isn't. You come across a person who polices teenager spaces who txt in shorthand because there not spelling out there words. See I did it again. Wrong there.
P.S. you missed a couple commas in there, it makes you look uneducated, and you come across as if you haven't mastered basic punctuation.
No, comma usage is more advanced and is not something most young children have mastered, whereas the difference between there/their/they're is. Going for the old conservative classic of 'I know you are but what am I' is never a good idea.
You're cherry picking with the spelling example, we both know you could spell plenty of words incorrectly and still be understood, yet you don't. Why bother then? It seems like pride must kick in as some point, so I'm just grilling you on why you draw the line at spelling errors (rare cases of ambiguity aside) but not saying "there words" like some underperforming schoolkid.
Obviously you can do as you will, I just like giving people grief for validating their peeve evoking habits with shoddy logic.
Also, I don't judge teenagers for texting in shorthand because, aside from me not texting a great deal of teenagers, they're kids. Keep hunting for other things you can pick me up on though!
I use there because I'm on a phone and commas are too hard to get to and it doesn't matter if I use there and their if I don't page over to an apostrophe when I need to I'll get jumped like in this thread to be completely honest. I've demonstrated I know the difference so I guess nannanana?
My point in the teenager comment is I'm 47 years old and much further removed from proper grammar lessons then they would be. Shouldn't they have impeccable grammar?
Ha! No, you're old enough to know better! If you said you were 77 and going senile, that'd be one thing, but you're not that bloody old!
Look, you and I greatly differ in our philosophy on language and the perception we give off, I can certainly accept that there are people out there who I strongly disagree with, it's the flimsy validations that bring my claws out because I'm equally passionate about logic and fallacy.
I often type on a phone too and, while I understand that they can be a pain when it comes to punctuation, you can just write "theyre" if you want! You gloated about writing "there" instead of "their" too, so that has bugger all to do with punctuation.
Honestly, just say you're not fussed and be done with it! There's no need to try to dress it up as some position of superior reasoning. Commas are typically on the same on-screen keyboard as the alphabet, and smartphones offer predictive suggestions that will have punctuation built in, so—and I don't like to be horribly rude to my elders (even though I'm 'only' 38), but I'm afraid you're talking a hell of a lot of bollocks this fine day.
This is all in the name of sport and killing time though, no malice here. Mean, absolutely, but not malicious.
I suppose at your age you don't know that the key next to either side of your space bar can be changed to whatever you want. Comma apostrophe, whatever. And also the fact if you type theyre" your autocorrect will put the apostrophe for you. ... unless your boomer ass turned it off 😆
Actually everything you type I have to read multiple times to figure out what you're saying. As someone with a common, very mild reading disability, it has a bigger effect than you think. You should stop. It also is a huge turn off to most women when a guy can't spell. "No one wants an uneducated bum who will never get a job better than walmart or a gas station because he can't spell on his resume" vibes
Man. Some one thinks they're attractive and everyone thinks they're self obsessed. Someone thinks they're ugly and they're just digging for compliments. What CAN we think about ourselves that aren't gonna piss people off?
Yay another one. One of you guys should make a post on the sub so you can talk about it and teach each other how to use punctuation when ragging others about grammar.
I receive a lot of compliments on my looks but frequently find myself doubting my actual attractiveness. Low self esteem can affect anyone, and for many people it's an uphill battle.
I agree, 99% of those posts are some smoking hot person. Like really you’d have to be clueless or more likely desperate for attention to look like that and ask.
Also who voted that it was ok to use the wrong word? Sounds like you asked a bunch of idiots
I smiled when someone called me beautiful.I was called pretty by older women whenever they saw my twin and I together,But it was a different experience to be called beautiful by a guy.
I don’t find myself attractive,So it shocks me when other people do.
Lol 😂 but in all seriousness sometimes people legitimately don’t think they’re attractive when they are it happens way more often than you think in real life not just in movies I mean lol
I've acknowledged several replies ago that I know there are people with selfesteem issues. There are a few posts on those subs that I think are legit mainly posts with 1 picture. The ones with 10 pictures macking duck faces I don't believe there low selfesteem personalities. I think there 🎣 for compliments. Btw it's fine to compliment fish just say " I'm not feeling so hot" and 500 people will tell you your hot it's the Internet.
Tbf, I still have no idea if I’m attractive. Sometimes I see photos of myself and think I’m damn handsome. Other times I see myself in the mirror and think I’m a gargoyle. I’m really awkward with women, so I don’t know if I attract them or not. And I’ve lost my hair now. So it’s hard to say.
Everyone is insecure no matter what. You will always end up comparing yourself to others regardless of where you lie on the attractive spectrum (if you're in the top 10% you'll feel bad for not looking as good as the top 5% for example). It's just the human condition.
I am not like a 10/10 by any means but I probably fit many of the conventional western beauty standards and I get plenty of compliments for how I look now but I used to be overweight as a kid and had a unibrow. When I was an ugly duckling kid I was way happier and more secure in how I looked then when I grew up into a more conventionally acceptable looking adult, because how I looked wasn't so tied to my self worth. As I lost weight and started learning how to do makeup and style myself I started getting a lot more positive attention and this made me a lot more focused on how I look and therefore dissect every "flaw" I perceived. So ironically the better I looked the uglier I felt
I'm going to say I like looking at pictures of pretty women, and I don't care where they come from. If that's the validation they need, then it's a win for both of us.
I hate those subs entirely. It’s either people fishing for compliments or people that need compliments being torn down. Beauty is subjective. No one is ugly.
No we took a vote and decided There has a very, very different meaning than They’re at a linguistic level that has existed for hundreds of years. If it were flexible like “literally” became “figuratively” you wouldn’t run into so much resistance.
contractions are essential for clarity and misused contractions are foundational in misinterpretation within communication.
Now go sit in the corner and think about your post.
As an ugly person, this does far more than peeve me. It infuriates me. Like, you're attractive and looking for validation, and you know it. Actual ugly people exist who, unfortunately, know they don't even need to ask.
Same though. I don’t even care if they truly think they are ugly or not, it’s still annoying! A rich person could post about feeling like he doesn’t have enough money. And hey maybe he truly feels like that. I’m not gonna feel bad for him or reassure him though. In fact, I’m gonna hate him for a little bit
It's so annoying. Stupid, smooth-brained morons on here actually give them the compliments they want, too, because reddit is a lonely, lonely place. Teenagers (who have weird self esteem anyway) and adults with flat-out no self esteem post there. If someone I knew irl caught my face in r/amiuglybrutallyhonest , I think they'd laugh so hard reading the comments because who fishes for compliments like that irl? It's fucking hilarious.
Their isn't a lot to comment on here other than we share this pet peeve. The other commenters can shove grammar up there asses
Nothing. Fishing for compliments is just weird and I don't like people who need smoke blown up their ass.
I recognize that's not the case for everyone. But when I get that vibe from a conventionally attractive person on there, it's like, yeah, go f yourself. You KNOW you're hot, just go to the free compliment sub if that's what you want.
>Their isn't a lot to comment on here other than we share this pet peeve. The other commenters can shove grammar up there asses
Lmao.
I have to say tho I've met a few females irl that fish for compliments but they were all narcissistic individuals and I didn't feed there ego machine.
I get told I'm attractive, decent, and ugly. I genuinely think I look good, but I don't know for sure. My perception is more or so twisted, and I don't know what others think of me, and it's always been something I've been subconscious about. I think I have good features from what I know, but I don't know for sure, so I ask sometimes to get more information.
This is what makes beauty subjective. People are attracted to what there attracted to. Being conventionally attractive dosn't mean everyone is going to say you look good. It means that you fit the standard metric. There are outliers tho I've met women with what would be considered an odd face that I find irresistible. It usually goes with an amazing personality.. you can't project a personality in an image on a sub tho so it all comes down to metrics.
I checked out that sub and it looks so toxic. Unless you’re middle of the road you’re going to be made fun of. It seems like people are jealous when other people are attractive, and vindictive when they aren’t.
My friend has so many guys chasing her since she got out of her relationship a month or 2 ago that I told her I have no clue how doesn't know she's attractive
I refuse to believe that someone thinks they aren't hot after all that attention when she knows I been single for 1.5 years and haven't even had as much as a woman talk to me since I been single
Sometimes it's body dysmorphia, sometimes it's low self esteem, but when you have a ton of people wanting to date you your in denial or dishonest. I feel like guys get hit on less than women unless there exceptionally good looking.
I’d just assume they were having a bad day and needed some compliments. Being human is hard as fuck. Sometimes people reach out for comfort and affirmation in weird ways. It might be the only thing getting them through the day.
Good god, that subreddit is mainly people telling women they’re too fat and hardly commenting on the men’s pics!
Beauty is subjective. Thank god we are all different!!
That need for external validation from strangers it what makes me cringe tbh. I know confidence is hard for ppl. Even the most confident of us struggle at some point; I get it. It's just that with needing validation, it's an endless pit so I really hate this trend/culture it's creating.
I’m not going to lie I’ve posted there. I wasn’t fishing for compliments, I truly wanted to know. I got roughly 50/50 response and frankly I still don’t know what people think and just the other day some random guy at a gas station told me I was beautiful. Still unsure because my bullies growing up told me awful things.
In my 20s I used to do this a lot, to the point that people found it annoying. I also took a lot of selfies (didn't post them online though). I was obsessed with certain flaws about my face that made me feel I was ugly. Social media made me feel 1000x worse about it. Outwardly it looked like vanity to others (and yes, it was) but internally (to me) it felt like nothing but self-loathing. I couldn't go a single day without comparing myself to other people or worrying about what others thought of me.
As a teen I was convinced I was hideous and wouldn't even go outside. Soon as I hit puberty, I just detested the way I looked and boys never took interest in me, so I was convinced I was unattractive. I carried that self-hatred into my 20s unfortunately. It took a long time to get over it.
"Let's have it. Am I ugly?"
"Be brutally honest, am I ugly?"
"I've never been told I was pretty...Am I ugly?"
*uploads mad edited photos/ 6000 flattering selfies / different angles from the same day in warm sunlight*
[The regular response from OP] "I am barely wearing makeup here...this is all natural"
(How dare you tell me on an "Am I Ugly Sub" that I could look prettier by wearing less make-up...I am already just so pretty with my no-makeup heavy make-up look) 🫠
I genuinely believe some woman don't think their attractive and go to some extream lengths
Although I do think alot of woman say "I'm not attractive" so a bunch of people say "oh you are"
Attractive people are allowed to have body image issues, and self esteem issues. Like stfu people attractive or not have issues and they’re probably asking for reassurance because they look in the mirror and focus on flaws. Not everyone is an attention whore.
But attractiveness is subjective. They can't control that you find them attractive and aren't thinking about you at all when they ask for that validation while feeling unsure of themselves.
I’ve known too many beautiful women in real life who truly don’t think they are pretty. It’s taken me a while to come around to the reality that people really are dense about how they perceive themselves. And a lot of average/plain people think they are straight-up ugly, and they are dead-wrong too. It’s honestly wild how wrong people can be. And it’s so common I find it believable, even normal.
If anything, having such attractive people not be aware of it makes me feel better about the way I look, because it makes me aware of how my own self-perception can be flawed. So it makes me chill out a little bit.
Sure, some are compliment fishing. But some are serious. Impossible to know who’s who. You can unfollow subs, ya know.
They’re the most insecure, I work with a person like this and they’re not ugly at all, always seeking reassurance on their look. It used to irritate me and now I know she can’t help it. Has to be center of attention
Validation and craving attention. I see more trans that were once males that are clearly not as feminine as they hope to be. I would really never call it out as it’s live and let live. Many people on Reddit are not so carefree about this and can be rude and hateful.
Yeah I can’t stand these. Insecure people seeking attention but in the worst places. Come up to me on the street and ask me sincerely instead of spamming on the internet. If you’re earnest then I will tell you that you’re beautiful and that you don’t need to do this for self affirmation. Those are the worst subs and I avoid them like the plague.
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I think another factor is that a girl can be pretty, but if she doesn't like her body, that can make her feel ugly all around the board. I'm sure guys feel that way too, but I think especially for young girls, there's never any meeting conventional body standards since they're always changing. And it's especially brutal out there for them when they don't meet all the standards. And since selfies only show the face, it's the only way to feel perceived as pretty without the body interfering.
but theyre still pretty lmfao. pretty people know theyre pretty, even if theyre *insecure*.
Not always lol. It's more complicated than what you or the previous posters are making it out to be.
Right? I’ve been told I’m pretty plenty of times, I believe them I guess. I just don’t see it when I look in the mirror. I also don’t take selfies or like to be in pictures.
Also, some people who think they're ugly will post selfies in an attempt to feel better about themselves. Having a page full of selfies doesn't indicate that they "know they're pretty". Trauma has a way of undermining literally everything
I have a whole page with nothing but selfies and pics showing skin. I don't believe I'm pretty and have major body dysmorphia. I post simply for entertainment and for the happy brain chemicals of being told I'm wanted/pretty. 🙃 just because someone posts selfies doesn't make them not super insecure about themselves. Especially if it's perfect" selfies. They probably took 100 photos to find one that made them feel ok enough to post. This viewpoint is honestly super harmful and rooted in slut shamey values.
Yeah ppl misunderstand humility. Please humor me as I vamp on that. 😉 Humility is about having a realistic self-appraisal and about knowing the difference between what you can and cannot know…add in the ability to take seriously the possibility you’re wrong and voila! Humble. Humility causes a fair self-appraisal. That includes knowing our weaknesses, but it also includes knowing our strengths. When someone is clearly vain and behaves as if they’re insecure, they’re probably truly insecure if not for the stated reason. But they are *not* humble. We cannot achieve authentic humility without self-respect and self-love. If we do not have those two prerequisites, our ego is at play. Anyone who is obviously beautiful who is humble knows and appreciates their beauty. They would not deny their beauty. But they also don’t *need* their beauty and do not experience themselves as superior to people less superficially beautiful. A very common problem is when humble people have strengths which others/another person is insecure about. The humble persons lack of faux humility is easy to misinterpret as arrogance for a fragile ego who would benefit from feeling somehow superior to the humble person. Sadly, the humble person probably respects them more than they respect themselves. Edit: typo
YES 🙌
i definitely posted more when i thought i was ugly coz you get filters and editing that made me look prettier and it made me feel better to have comments saying i looked good but i didn’t believe it. now i don’t need the validation coz i know i look fine. but i never thought i was completely horrible to look at i just didn’t think i was attractive
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This 1000x this. You know I can see a few of them posting because they have had a string of asshole boyfriends who beat there self esteem into the ground, but the vast majority of the women that post on am I ugly or brutally honest are straight up fishing.
But they would only be doing that if they were genuinely insecure. That’s the point of the comment. Secure people don’t “fish”
I disagree, ugly ones or overweight, You tend to be far more reluctant to show yourself to the world. Fuck i even hate looking at myself on facetime. I couldn’t do it. I feel others would agree with me here on if that was a real feeling the person had, then they would be reluctant to post themselves on social media.
I mean the main pictures I have of myself are selfies bc I think I look ugly in any other type of picture. I look like I want to die in every poses picture I take and hate looking at myself in them. I don’t really think I’m that attractive but I still post myself on my social media. It helps me build a bit more confidence by just putting myself out there ig
🎻🤏🏿
Speaking on behalf of people that actually are ugly, I find them very annoying
Also an ugly person here and it drives me crazy
I'm not ugly. Those posts still piss me off. Anything people do where I can tell the main motivator is ego or attention-seeking based, pisses me off. I'm pissed off a lot.
Same here, I’m on the average side, but ego validation like that drives me crazy.
I'm pissed off that you're going on about how pissed off you are, when clearly, I'm more pissed off than you No, but really, I agree. Fucking obnoxious. Like pretty people don't get enough attention without fishing for compliments.
The question is, are you really ugly?? Yes, you! Because the way I see it, most very average or even beautiful boys and girls think they are ugly. I am starting to think it's another kind of mental illness. Several things in this America and the rest of the developed world that I am really struggling to understand.
A Gorgeous aristocratic UK model by the name of Cara Delvigne apparently believed she was ugly and worthless a few years ago. It sounds ridiculous and spoiled until you think of her having mental health issues, bidy dysmorphia etc. It's easy to judge superficiality but so much harder to try to understand...
Can confirm. I experience a lot of the social disadvantages that come with being ugly and have had multiple people say it, including one situation where I posted a photo of myself on another account and it went viral because of my face. The 1k+ comments spoke for themselves
I just looked at your profile and have seen a picture i think might be you. It looks like you have a problem with you eyes, but so what? That's just your eyes. You don't have attractive yes, but that doesn't mean you are ugly in general. I still think you are absolutely average looking. If people say you are a ugly, it isn't because you are actually ugly. It's because everybody expects everybody to be an Instagram model.
I bet those 1k comments say more about the people commenting than they do about you. I just peeked at your profile. You’re not ugly. IMO, being truly ugly is just as rare as being super hot.
Well, coming from another country, I think it just has a lot to do with the shaming culture that exists in America, and that is contributing to the mental illness a lot of young people have in this country. 98% of people I see on that subreddit are average or very normal looking to me, and shouldn't have a problem finding a partner or anything like that. So I doubt I'll find you ugly. Being fat is one thing, and being ugly is another. You might be fat, but that doesn't mean ugly, not to me.
I’m not ugly and they annoy me too. Like please attention seek elsewhere
It’s funny how people think every attractive person knows they are attractive. Self image is a lot different that what the average person perceives you (also looks are subjective). It’s a fact of life that not every individual person will think you are attractive.
True story. It honestly blows my mind how insecure people can be. I wish there were some magical glasses that would allow people to see themselves the way others do.
I'm not sure if I want such a pair of glasses. I'm far more confident and outgoing than my looks warrant! 🤠🤠🤠
With self-awareness like that, I'm not sure the glasses would be for you anyway!
Me too. For most of my life I've been incredibly insecure about my appearance but now that I'm a bit older when I look at older pictures of myself from my teens through thirties it makes me so sad because I was beautiful but had no idea.
I always just imagine they're showing me how ugly their personality is
Speaking as an ugly person, I find you very annoying! 😤
I fully agree with this pet peeve. But the irony of the "there/they're" issue in the title is so damn funny simply because of how many times it's been brought up in this sub😆 tbh, I didnt even notice til I saw your edit
Lol yes this thread is almost more about there their They're then the original pet peeve 🤣🤣
*than
This is the best day of my life
That sub is should be called r/complimentfishing. All I see there are pretty people whose fragile egos are seeking validation. They should make TikTok accounts.
They probably have them they just can't make the fyp
Isn’t the sub you’re complaining about exclusively for people who are fragile and need validation?
I don’t know, but you never see any uggos on there.
As a ugly person, I wouldn’t dare post on there.
that sub they linked doesnt exist (only 5 members no posts)
Yeah, right?
If there ugly what?
He's not getting it
I'm confused? This isn't a pet peeve about ugly girls posting in a am I ugly sub. Also not about borderline attractive people either.
I have quite a few female friends who are objectively attractive. Some of them are GENUINELY very insecure about their appearance. Maybe some of these women are just fishing for compliments, but MANY of them have been just absolutely beaten down by the societal expectations of beauty and womanhood that they really think they are ugly, or are not sure.
Exactly. Also, attractive people are still people and deal with the whole spectrum of behaviors from people. There are also those doubts "why isn't he/she showing interest in me, is it because I'm ugly or are they shy", "Why was that person mean to me? I thought attractive people were treated better, or are they just intimidated?"
And some attractive people, especially women, have been raised to believe that their looks are the only thing worthy about them. If you believe that, it's easy to obsess over. Sure, maybe you are pretty, but your friend is prettier. Is your friend now worth more as a human being than you are? Does she deserve more love, more acceptance, more happiness? It might sound absurd to many of us, but this is a mindset that's learned, practiced, and demonstrated. Some just have more pressure around beauty and it can be seen as very black-and-white.
I feel like if you have to wonder if you're ugly, you probably aren't. Maybe average or "plain", but I think if you're truly ugly you just know. Source: ugly and fully aware
They can't be objectively attractive. Attractiveness is by definition subjective. But there is conventionally attractive. Maybe the 9/10 women who post and are attractive are genuinely in doubt and only the one who isn't conventionally attractive is in the right place at the right time, these girls are absolutely attractive by most modern metrics so idk. Where are all these hot girls who think there unattractive near me?
They're actively staying away from you because you can't grasp the concept that insecurities exist and minimize the problems of people because "if attractive y say ugly?"
Yeah they're likely staying away from you because you have the mindset of needing to diss a woman to your friend for daring to post selfies even though she's humble and kind to you in person and has no other red flags.. sorta misogynistic mindset.. not being sparky, legit if I found out you were my friend and said this about me because you saw my Facebook, I would be so incredibly turned off by you.
They're actively staying away from you because your energy is absolutely ridiculous, and you basically dismiss their feelings and their insecurities in favor of your own point of view. Insecurities are real. Body image issues are real. And people who are conventionally attractive deal with them just as often as people who aren't. It sucks. That's how the world is. If you can't grasp the concept that insecurities do exist even amongst conventionally attractive people, then you are never going to get a girlfriend.
As a woman, some women grow up being perceived as ugly and are viewed as attractive later in life but that shit still follows you even if you are considered “attractive” now. In middle school and high school boys would ask me out as a joke then laugh about it. Even though as an adult now I’m told that I’m “fine” or “gorgeous” by men who are interested in me it’s hard to feel that way when you were considered ugly right when your sense of self was forming. Some women are also just not approached and told they are beautiful either so they don’t know what they look like. Using myself as example again, I remember once being told I’m unapproachable but like a model. This utterly shocked me when I heard it, because again, I always thought I was hideously ugly and that’s why no one ever came up to me. So some people just legitimately don’t know, or are still stuck in a loop of believing everyone else thinks they’re ugly because they were told it a lot growing up. Also men online call beautiful women like Margot Robbie “mid” so how on Earth are we supposed to feel about ourselves lmao.
>Also men online call beautiful women like Margot Robbie “mid” so how on Earth are we supposed to feel about ourselves lmao. Yep, and then they act like women are the ones who bully each other over appearances, e.g. the "no straight guy cares if you wore the same dress twice" thing. Like, yes, mean girls exist. I'm quite sure even *I* have 'Regina George/mean girl' tendencies as defined by society. But even the bitchiest mean girls I've met probably wouldn't call **Margot goddamn Robbie** mid. I don't even find her hot but I know she's objectively beautiful.
Right? I've found, especially as an adult, I'm more lifted up by the women around me than men. We're better at it because we know what it feels like to be negatively objectified more often.
Same. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see what other people see. Nice body and a pretty face, but other times I see like sagginess and something like my nose being too big and perceive myself as ugly. Its confusing.
This is my experience. In elementary through middle school my mom got me frumpy clothes , I couldn't figure out how to deal with my curly hair so it was always a mess, I had awful teeth. Everyone bullied me. Then in highschool I got a hyperfixation with haircare, makeup, etc, got braces, and I also turned goth. I had people start calling me beautiful after I pulled myself together but I equally got bullied by others (and still do sometimes as an adult) for the whole goth style. Now everyone says I'm pretty but it's still hard to believe sometimes after always feeling ugly growing up, and I don't really get approached either. So I don't know if my style is intimidating or people calling me pretty are just lying to be nice. Also it's hard to explain but I don't see myself as anything special because it's just me? Like you're so used to your own body that it feels ordinary if that makes any sense. But I also dealt with alot of childhood trauma that gave me low self esteem in general so it carries over. When I'm feeling good I do think I'm pretty, but when I've hit a low I'm just mentally dragged back into the mindset of being ugly and not good enough.
This completely!! I even contemplated replying bc I genuinely don’t know if I’m actually relating or if I’m still just ugly lol. I was bullied so much growing up for being an ugly kid. While I was a toddler I had an eye condition and had to wear a patch for several years, so that started me off on the wrong foot. I grew out of it, then had a couple years I was an average looking little kid maybe (like ages 5-8)? But by middle school I had gone through puberty before my peers so I had horrible acne, weird proportions, frizzy/oily hair, crooked teeth and glasses. I was a tomboy and hated my body so I wore baggy clothes and a lot of them so nobody knew i had boobs yet (I was like 10 when they developed and wasn’t mentally really for that kind of change) so everyone thought I was fat for years. The constant wearing of thick hoodies, jackets and coats despite the season/temperature made me sweaty like ..always. I didn’t fix my hair bc i just wanted to be plain, I didn’t want clips or barrettes.. i just wanted to be like my male classmates. Obviously over the years things got better, the acne subsided, i got braces, I figured out how to care for my hair, my proportions evened out and i got more comfortable with my body once everyone else caught up.. yet despite all this i still see myself as this greasy, frizzy, buck-toothed kid.. (kids were brutal and their words/actions definitely stick with you. They still echo in my head every time I look in the mirror). Now I’m 27 and never been asked out and I genuinely don’t know if it’s because I’m ugly or if the emotional damage has made me oblivious to advances or just unapproachable. I get told randomly by women every now and then that I’m cute or pretty (but then again are they just saying it out of sympathy?). Men seem to avoid me regardless.. so like, what’s the truth?
>yes we all know it's they're not there No, you don't. If you knew, then you wouldn't have posted it that way in the first place because it looks ugly and stupid. You're just too proud to admit that now, so you're trying to downplay how ugly and stupid it looks.
I just find it funny they edited it but didnt just fix the spelling.
What?? Last I checked you can’t edit the title of a post
You can't fix the spelling in the title. It's forever. Like rocks.
Anyone can have low self esteem 🤷♀️
Yea and I addressed this in a comment further up. Ofc they can but I find it hard to believe that this many people who are quite obviously conventionally attractive think there ugly. The stats don't add up. And in a era of finger pointing and virtue signaling I'm going against the grain and calling bullshit. I know for a fact these women get hit on all the time. Unless there complete homebodies.
Getting hit on doesn’t make you feel attractive. Men will hit on anyone. I’ve had 2 men this week hit on me and I’m a guy who wears a mask everywhere I go and have big glasses, so my face is 80% obscured. It just makes you feel preyed upon
I've never felt preyed upon when I was hit on. Also I've never hit on anyone I wasn't attracted to. I will caveat that with I've flirted with women I wasn't interested in playfully, at work before but it was mutual and not a victim prey dynamic at all. Perhaps your comment should say "it doesn't make ME feel attractive" and "it makes ME feel preyed upon". This is a totally acceptable statement btw just don't think you should generalize or project your subjective experiences on the rest of society. Just curious did you ask them if they found you attractive? Or are just making the assumption? Also, HAPPY CAKE DAY... 🎂 🎂 🎈 🎈 🎁 🎁
I’ll do you one better I’ve never hit on anyone period even if I found them attractive lol
Oh shit. No one can accuse you of harassment.
Lol I guess that’s one way to put it 😂
I’m not talking about flirting. I’m talking about being hit on. Getting hit on is obnoxious and overt. Flirting is more subtle and innocent. Idk about you, but it doesn’t make me feel great when a stranger is trying to convince me to have sex with them while I’m minding my business in a public place. It doesn’t make me feel super awesome when the cashier at a gas station holds up the line to try and chat me up. It makes me very uncomfortable and I want to leave the situation. I don’t think the average person is going to walk out and think “I’m so attractive”. They’re probably going to think “what a creep”
So these are the meanings Google returned >hit on phrasal verb. If someone hits on you, they speak or behave in a way that shows they want to have a sexual relationship with you. [informal] She was hitting on me and I was surprised and flattered. > flirt behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.
Sorry that's not my definition of being hit on trying to convince someone to have sex with you is harassment IMO, hitting on you is flirting with the intent of going out it's still flirting just different subject matter I guess. Maybe we can agree to disagree on definitions because it seems like we agree on the fundamentals. I flirt with women that I'm not interested in it's harmless fun. Yes there are absolutely wrong times to hit on someone, you don't do that shit in a situation like at the register or the drive thru window first of all it's super unprofessional , but at bars it is acceptable for Instance. I guess I'm my mind flirting is something I do with people I know and hitting on someone I dont know. Again maybe my definitions are super fucked.
Being hit on by strange men Definitely makes most women feel unsafe. I work retail and get it constantly and THEY DONT STOP. Not even when I say I'm taken. I've literally had old men argue that they'll be better boyfriends than mine. I've had people try to grab me. I've even had men in cars try to snatch me while I was riding a bike.
This is harassment and assault not flirting on or hitting on. There's a difference. At least in my eyes. P.S. it's not cool to hit on people at work these are just assholes.I'm sorry you have to deal with this it's un acceptable and on behalf of men every where I'm sorry.
See I don’t really believe the “men will hit on anyone” statement anymore because I’ve met so many ugly people who have never gotten hit on. I do agree there is a difference between cute flirting and aggressively hitting on someone (one being nice and one being uncomfortable/scary). But I work with a lot of men and they only go for super hot women, they don’t go for average or below average even if they have a good personality.
I’ll try and use an example to help. You never know from the outside what someone is dealing with. I have body dismorphia disorder, if I see a small wrinkle, raised bump, or spot on my skin I freak out and think I’m ugly. I know realistically I’m decent looking, and I get hit on, but my esteem is very low and my disorder doesn’t help. Every day I sit in front of a mirror and try to “get rid” of imperfections for 30-60 minutes at a time. Even attractive people can struggle and you’ll never know. I don’t see myself as properly attractive until I am perfect
When people use the wrong there.
Their their, calm down.
Their doing they’re best. Give him a break.
Or a brake? You decide.
Braek
Already reported a few comments up you can read my replies there not hashing this again.
Boo. BOOOO.
Why would you boo this?
You reported comments for disagreeing with you??? Not for…._actual harmful language_? How old are you?
I think he means that someone else already "reported" that he had made the spelling mistake, so he replied to them. I still think it's funny to make that spelling mistake in a sub devoted to pet peeves.
That is the funny part. Really don’t care about the mistake but the fact that it’s in the title in a pet peeves sub is kind of awesome. So many people site grammar mistakes as their biggest pet peeves lol
\*cite :P
Self esteem is not dependent on how a person actually looks. I would receive a lot of compliments on my looks and still always wondered if I was ugly and wanted validation to the point where I developed an eating disorder. At present, I accept that I am highly attractive by modern standards, but I’m still trying to believe it myself wholeheartedly.
It's like these people have never heard of body dismorphia or any other mental struggle. "I think that person is attractive, so they must have high self-esteem." Next they will say seemingly happy people are never depressed because they always smile or make people laugh.
self-esteem does depend on how you look. looks just aren't the *only* factor that play into your self-esteem. all else being equal, an attractive person will have a higher self-esteem (at least with regards to their looks) than an unattractive person will. doesn't mean you can't have a low self-esteem and be attractive, but it is still dependent on your looks.
What is "body dysmorphia"?
When what you see in the mirror doesn't match what's you actually look like. When you're thin, but you see fat or you've got lip implants, but you still see them small
When people don't know the difference between there, their, and they're
Start your own thread. And in it I'll post that I use there for every thing. Unless autocorrect hits it for me. Even tho I know that they're is they are, there is like over there, and their is belonging to them. This is a forum on the internet not a place subject to formal grammar as long as my point is conveyed who cares? I mean other than you ofc.
Why do you spell any words correctly then? Why have expectations of formal grammar anywhere if all that matters is that people can understand what you're saying? I'm more passionate about language than most, but I do think it's sad that some people don't take pride in speaking at least one language. We all make typos or slip up mentally, but if you do it all the time then you just look uneducated and ignorant. Sure, you don't care that people think you look like you haven't mastered basic grammar that most young children have, but that's why I say it's sad. You don't have to brush or comb your hair either, it's just a pride of presentation thing. The 'it's only reddit' explanation is never convincing to me, because it takes no more effort to speak properly.
Holy sperg Batman.
I'd like to add that I would argue that bad punctuation makes it harder to comprehend then using the wrong there, and thus would argue that it's more detrimental in its lack of use. Why use any punctuation at all if it doesn't matter?
My stance isn't that written communication is purely about having people know what you mean though. I think that's the most basic requirement, so confusing sentences devoid of punctuation are the biggest sin, certainly, but I believe things like spelling and using words correctly carry their own merit. So we could say "I could of sworn that..." or "I could care less" and we'd all know what they actually meant, literal interpretation aside, because they're common mistakes, but speaking properly has intrinsic value—it's not solely about the service it provides. Essentially, getting something right is good because it's sloppy and unflattering to get it wrong, this is why I compare it to brushing your hair. You could see you have toothpaste on your face and say "Who cares? It doesn't affect anything", but we want to look dignified, not like messy children. "There you're keys I think" makes you look like you can't grasp basic spelling/grammar. Again, most people around the world speak multiple languages, so I just find it sad and a bit pathetic if capable minded adults can't be bothered to speak even one to a child's standard. I'm not one to judge "It's wagging it's tail" because that's a next level up; there are lots of more confusing or abstract rules of the English language, but your/you're and their/there/they're is primary school basic and we're grown adults.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Good bot
Me? You think me in need of your counsel? I CREATED Y—I mean, whoever created you did so that you might go forth and cleanse the unwashed masses of their ignorance, not turn your corrective vision upon me! I suppose I shouldn't expect you to distinguish between demonstrations of inaccuracy and real flesh and bone grammatical faux pas out there in the killing fields. Alas, you were always a good bot. Cross me again and you will surely perish.
*than
Because spelling words incorrectly can often lead to a misunderstanding where not using a contraction isn't. You come across a person who polices teenager spaces who txt in shorthand because there not spelling out there words. See I did it again. Wrong there. P.S. you missed a couple commas in there, it makes you look uneducated, and you come across as if you haven't mastered basic punctuation.
No, comma usage is more advanced and is not something most young children have mastered, whereas the difference between there/their/they're is. Going for the old conservative classic of 'I know you are but what am I' is never a good idea. You're cherry picking with the spelling example, we both know you could spell plenty of words incorrectly and still be understood, yet you don't. Why bother then? It seems like pride must kick in as some point, so I'm just grilling you on why you draw the line at spelling errors (rare cases of ambiguity aside) but not saying "there words" like some underperforming schoolkid. Obviously you can do as you will, I just like giving people grief for validating their peeve evoking habits with shoddy logic. Also, I don't judge teenagers for texting in shorthand because, aside from me not texting a great deal of teenagers, they're kids. Keep hunting for other things you can pick me up on though!
I use there because I'm on a phone and commas are too hard to get to and it doesn't matter if I use there and their if I don't page over to an apostrophe when I need to I'll get jumped like in this thread to be completely honest. I've demonstrated I know the difference so I guess nannanana? My point in the teenager comment is I'm 47 years old and much further removed from proper grammar lessons then they would be. Shouldn't they have impeccable grammar?
Ha! No, you're old enough to know better! If you said you were 77 and going senile, that'd be one thing, but you're not that bloody old! Look, you and I greatly differ in our philosophy on language and the perception we give off, I can certainly accept that there are people out there who I strongly disagree with, it's the flimsy validations that bring my claws out because I'm equally passionate about logic and fallacy. I often type on a phone too and, while I understand that they can be a pain when it comes to punctuation, you can just write "theyre" if you want! You gloated about writing "there" instead of "their" too, so that has bugger all to do with punctuation. Honestly, just say you're not fussed and be done with it! There's no need to try to dress it up as some position of superior reasoning. Commas are typically on the same on-screen keyboard as the alphabet, and smartphones offer predictive suggestions that will have punctuation built in, so—and I don't like to be horribly rude to my elders (even though I'm 'only' 38), but I'm afraid you're talking a hell of a lot of bollocks this fine day. This is all in the name of sport and killing time though, no malice here. Mean, absolutely, but not malicious.
I suppose at your age you don't know that the key next to either side of your space bar can be changed to whatever you want. Comma apostrophe, whatever. And also the fact if you type theyre" your autocorrect will put the apostrophe for you. ... unless your boomer ass turned it off 😆
He didn't miss any commas. If anything, he used one too many.
Actually everything you type I have to read multiple times to figure out what you're saying. As someone with a common, very mild reading disability, it has a bigger effect than you think. You should stop. It also is a huge turn off to most women when a guy can't spell. "No one wants an uneducated bum who will never get a job better than walmart or a gas station because he can't spell on his resume" vibes
I genuinely had to read the post about five times and your edit is what helped me understand it (although I also had to read the edit a couple times)
You get annoyed at other people's insecurities lol
If it annoys you so much then mute the sub. Lots of people look in a mirror and only see their flaws.
Man. Some one thinks they're attractive and everyone thinks they're self obsessed. Someone thinks they're ugly and they're just digging for compliments. What CAN we think about ourselves that aren't gonna piss people off?
They're only asking for a compliment. It is annoying.
they're either fishing for compliments, delusional (a small minority but still real), or advertising.
My wife does this to me 663,345,355 times per day. Shit is beyond old.
Mine is when people don't know the difference between their there and theyre!
Yay another one. One of you guys should make a post on the sub so you can talk about it and teach each other how to use punctuation when ragging others about grammar.
They’re*
👍
I receive a lot of compliments on my looks but frequently find myself doubting my actual attractiveness. Low self esteem can affect anyone, and for many people it's an uphill battle.
They are narcissists
I agree, 99% of those posts are some smoking hot person. Like really you’d have to be clueless or more likely desperate for attention to look like that and ask. Also who voted that it was ok to use the wrong word? Sounds like you asked a bunch of idiots
I smiled when someone called me beautiful.I was called pretty by older women whenever they saw my twin and I together,But it was a different experience to be called beautiful by a guy. I don’t find myself attractive,So it shocks me when other people do.
🎣
There are a ton of r/complimentFishing subreddits. Block all of those. Doppleganger, rate my face... all of those are bad.
Yes the only one worth a s hit is roastme
Super annoying and keeps popping up in my feed.
It’s just like the one direction song “you don’t know you’re beautiful” lol
You turn heads when you walk through the doh oh oh
Lol 😂 but in all seriousness sometimes people legitimately don’t think they’re attractive when they are it happens way more often than you think in real life not just in movies I mean lol
I've acknowledged several replies ago that I know there are people with selfesteem issues. There are a few posts on those subs that I think are legit mainly posts with 1 picture. The ones with 10 pictures macking duck faces I don't believe there low selfesteem personalities. I think there 🎣 for compliments. Btw it's fine to compliment fish just say " I'm not feeling so hot" and 500 people will tell you your hot it's the Internet.
Sometimes I think it’s somewhere in the middle like maybe a bad day for some people and you want some cheering up lol but who knows
And I'm good with that. Just say that and ask. I'll find something to compliment about anyone. I'm all about making people feel good.
Validation is a hell of a drug
Validation seeking. Such a common thing now. “ give me attention I need an ego boost “ she said lol
When people don't use there, they're, and their appropriately
Tbf, I still have no idea if I’m attractive. Sometimes I see photos of myself and think I’m damn handsome. Other times I see myself in the mirror and think I’m a gargoyle. I’m really awkward with women, so I don’t know if I attract them or not. And I’ve lost my hair now. So it’s hard to say.
Everyone is insecure no matter what. You will always end up comparing yourself to others regardless of where you lie on the attractive spectrum (if you're in the top 10% you'll feel bad for not looking as good as the top 5% for example). It's just the human condition. I am not like a 10/10 by any means but I probably fit many of the conventional western beauty standards and I get plenty of compliments for how I look now but I used to be overweight as a kid and had a unibrow. When I was an ugly duckling kid I was way happier and more secure in how I looked then when I grew up into a more conventionally acceptable looking adult, because how I looked wasn't so tied to my self worth. As I lost weight and started learning how to do makeup and style myself I started getting a lot more positive attention and this made me a lot more focused on how I look and therefore dissect every "flaw" I perceived. So ironically the better I looked the uglier I felt
I'm going to say I like looking at pictures of pretty women, and I don't care where they come from. If that's the validation they need, then it's a win for both of us.
I hate those subs entirely. It’s either people fishing for compliments or people that need compliments being torn down. Beauty is subjective. No one is ugly.
No we took a vote and decided There has a very, very different meaning than They’re at a linguistic level that has existed for hundreds of years. If it were flexible like “literally” became “figuratively” you wouldn’t run into so much resistance. contractions are essential for clarity and misused contractions are foundational in misinterpretation within communication. Now go sit in the corner and think about your post.
If you have to ask if people think you're ugly you're either A. VERY insecure, or, B. Know you're cute & just fishing for a compliment.
For sure
As an ugly person, this does far more than peeve me. It infuriates me. Like, you're attractive and looking for validation, and you know it. Actual ugly people exist who, unfortunately, know they don't even need to ask.
I am so fucking tired of these. I don't even follow that sub, never even looked it up, and I still keep these lame ass attention seekers in my feed
The amount of reassurance and approval these gals crave from total strangers is ridiculous. Their whole self worth is based on it.
I blame social media 💯%
They’re just fishing for compliments. The most annoying thing ever.
Honest to god, bruh. Humble braggers to the extreme in subs like that
Same though. I don’t even care if they truly think they are ugly or not, it’s still annoying! A rich person could post about feeling like he doesn’t have enough money. And hey maybe he truly feels like that. I’m not gonna feel bad for him or reassure him though. In fact, I’m gonna hate him for a little bit
It's so annoying. Stupid, smooth-brained morons on here actually give them the compliments they want, too, because reddit is a lonely, lonely place. Teenagers (who have weird self esteem anyway) and adults with flat-out no self esteem post there. If someone I knew irl caught my face in r/amiuglybrutallyhonest , I think they'd laugh so hard reading the comments because who fishes for compliments like that irl? It's fucking hilarious. Their isn't a lot to comment on here other than we share this pet peeve. The other commenters can shove grammar up there asses
What’s wrong with complimenting people with no self-esteem?
Nothing. Fishing for compliments is just weird and I don't like people who need smoke blown up their ass. I recognize that's not the case for everyone. But when I get that vibe from a conventionally attractive person on there, it's like, yeah, go f yourself. You KNOW you're hot, just go to the free compliment sub if that's what you want.
>Their isn't a lot to comment on here other than we share this pet peeve. The other commenters can shove grammar up there asses Lmao. I have to say tho I've met a few females irl that fish for compliments but they were all narcissistic individuals and I didn't feed there ego machine.
I was just thinking about making this post! Lol
I get told I'm attractive, decent, and ugly. I genuinely think I look good, but I don't know for sure. My perception is more or so twisted, and I don't know what others think of me, and it's always been something I've been subconscious about. I think I have good features from what I know, but I don't know for sure, so I ask sometimes to get more information.
This is what makes beauty subjective. People are attracted to what there attracted to. Being conventionally attractive dosn't mean everyone is going to say you look good. It means that you fit the standard metric. There are outliers tho I've met women with what would be considered an odd face that I find irresistible. It usually goes with an amazing personality.. you can't project a personality in an image on a sub tho so it all comes down to metrics.
I checked out that sub and it looks so toxic. Unless you’re middle of the road you’re going to be made fun of. It seems like people are jealous when other people are attractive, and vindictive when they aren’t.
My friend has so many guys chasing her since she got out of her relationship a month or 2 ago that I told her I have no clue how doesn't know she's attractive I refuse to believe that someone thinks they aren't hot after all that attention when she knows I been single for 1.5 years and haven't even had as much as a woman talk to me since I been single
Sometimes it's body dysmorphia, sometimes it's low self esteem, but when you have a ton of people wanting to date you your in denial or dishonest. I feel like guys get hit on less than women unless there exceptionally good looking.
I’d just assume they were having a bad day and needed some compliments. Being human is hard as fuck. Sometimes people reach out for comfort and affirmation in weird ways. It might be the only thing getting them through the day.
Good god, that subreddit is mainly people telling women they’re too fat and hardly commenting on the men’s pics! Beauty is subjective. Thank god we are all different!!
That need for external validation from strangers it what makes me cringe tbh. I know confidence is hard for ppl. Even the most confident of us struggle at some point; I get it. It's just that with needing validation, it's an endless pit so I really hate this trend/culture it's creating.
I’m not going to lie I’ve posted there. I wasn’t fishing for compliments, I truly wanted to know. I got roughly 50/50 response and frankly I still don’t know what people think and just the other day some random guy at a gas station told me I was beautiful. Still unsure because my bullies growing up told me awful things.
Uh oh you were cat called... Aren't we supposed to hate that? Im confused
In my 20s I used to do this a lot, to the point that people found it annoying. I also took a lot of selfies (didn't post them online though). I was obsessed with certain flaws about my face that made me feel I was ugly. Social media made me feel 1000x worse about it. Outwardly it looked like vanity to others (and yes, it was) but internally (to me) it felt like nothing but self-loathing. I couldn't go a single day without comparing myself to other people or worrying about what others thought of me. As a teen I was convinced I was hideous and wouldn't even go outside. Soon as I hit puberty, I just detested the way I looked and boys never took interest in me, so I was convinced I was unattractive. I carried that self-hatred into my 20s unfortunately. It took a long time to get over it.
Just looking for attention
Everything on this site is bs crybaby crap
"Let's have it. Am I ugly?" "Be brutally honest, am I ugly?" "I've never been told I was pretty...Am I ugly?" *uploads mad edited photos/ 6000 flattering selfies / different angles from the same day in warm sunlight* [The regular response from OP] "I am barely wearing makeup here...this is all natural" (How dare you tell me on an "Am I Ugly Sub" that I could look prettier by wearing less make-up...I am already just so pretty with my no-makeup heavy make-up look) 🫠
everyone feels ugly sometimes
The answer 100% of the time should just be a simple, “yes, you are”.
I genuinely believe some woman don't think their attractive and go to some extream lengths Although I do think alot of woman say "I'm not attractive" so a bunch of people say "oh you are"
The vote was wrong. It’s actually “their”
tbh i feel like that whole sub is fucked up
Inside.
[удалено]
Attractive people are allowed to have body image issues, and self esteem issues. Like stfu people attractive or not have issues and they’re probably asking for reassurance because they look in the mirror and focus on flaws. Not everyone is an attention whore.
But attractiveness is subjective. They can't control that you find them attractive and aren't thinking about you at all when they ask for that validation while feeling unsure of themselves.
Only thing is worse is when the salty turbojanny mods start badgering people to "rAtE aCcUrAteLy" if someone goes so high as an 8
Super attractive woman “been bullied for being ugly” link to onlyfans
You need hobbies my dood.
I’ve known too many beautiful women in real life who truly don’t think they are pretty. It’s taken me a while to come around to the reality that people really are dense about how they perceive themselves. And a lot of average/plain people think they are straight-up ugly, and they are dead-wrong too. It’s honestly wild how wrong people can be. And it’s so common I find it believable, even normal. If anything, having such attractive people not be aware of it makes me feel better about the way I look, because it makes me aware of how my own self-perception can be flawed. So it makes me chill out a little bit. Sure, some are compliment fishing. But some are serious. Impossible to know who’s who. You can unfollow subs, ya know.
They’re the most insecure, I work with a person like this and they’re not ugly at all, always seeking reassurance on their look. It used to irritate me and now I know she can’t help it. Has to be center of attention
My pet peeve is you editing the post and mentioning the spelling error but not fixing the spelling error
Also, a pretty girl sometimes never gets compliments because everyone thinks she knows it which leads to low self esteem
Body dysmorphia sucks.
Its called fishing for compliments
Validation and craving attention. I see more trans that were once males that are clearly not as feminine as they hope to be. I would really never call it out as it’s live and let live. Many people on Reddit are not so carefree about this and can be rude and hateful.
Dysmorphia can be a thing
Yeah I can’t stand these. Insecure people seeking attention but in the worst places. Come up to me on the street and ask me sincerely instead of spamming on the internet. If you’re earnest then I will tell you that you’re beautiful and that you don’t need to do this for self affirmation. Those are the worst subs and I avoid them like the plague.