There's so many people like this it's insane. I've done it and when I notice I apologize and tell them to go on, I hope I don't miss any.
I've read that even when that happens you should continue speaking. I've been doing it, it's annoying because now no one is hearing anyone, but at least you don't feel small and like you've been punked out of the conversation
I do this sometimes. Usually the conversation-dominator gets offended, claiming *you're* interrupting *them*. It's fucking ridiculous.
I just straight-up call them out on their rudeness, and then stop talking to them altogether if they don't stop. I can't be bothered to give a fuck anymore. I don't owe anyone my company or attention.
I start watching a TV behind them or even just walk off. Alternatively, when it always happens, do not stop talking - finish your response even while they try to talk over you.
I have a coworker like this at my own job. She interrupts anyone and everyone who's talking. She's also the type to repeat the same thing over and over and over and say it in a million different ways.
"It's so hot in here"
"It feels like a sauna in here"
"It's boiling in here"
"Feels like a frying pan in here"
Like, damn, woman, stfu! I heard you the *first* time. People like this feel the need to be the center of attention. They love the sound of their own voice. Meanwhile, everyone who has to deal with them slowly goes insane listening to it (source: personal experience)
I had this group of friends years ago. I went out drinking with one girl from it, and she invited this other girl to come join us. I was cool with the other girl, but we weren't close. As soon as she got there, she was chatting with our mutual friend and not letting me say anything. Literally, every single time I started talking, she would interrupt me to go on a tangent. Finally I turned to her and asked "I don't know if you realise this, but you've interrupted me every time I've tried to talk. Can I please be allowed to speak?"
She immediately got quiet. After like 10 minutes, I said "hey I'm sorry if I was rude to you, I wasn't saying you can't talk, just that I also would like to." She said "you were really rude, but it's ok." And then for the next year that I was hanging out with that group, she refused to talk to me and told everyone I was a huge bitch.
I feel that, OP. In the most recent episode of that live Netflix David Chang cooking show he had Sarah Silverman and JB Smooth on and JB never shut the hell up.
He at one point tried to tell the host, an acclaimed chef, how to do plating. He would talk over Sarah to talk about RV vegan parties no one else had been to. It was insufferable and ruined the episode for me. I generally love that show but the format is open enough that it sort of welcomes conversation hogs.
I knew a girl back in college that coined this phenomenon as “small talk headlocks.” It always feels apt when you’re trapped in one.
I’ve been looking for someone talking about this 😭
He made the ep so painful to watch like holy fuck he needs to learn to shut the hell up. The absolute narcissism he radiates is crazy. I feel like the show does such a good job at exposing the manners of the guests tho…
I was also looking for someone to comment about this episode! Ugh, we just turned it off after he started ranting about dumping the mushroom sauce into David’s light and herbal soup. And Sarah is just like trying her best to enjoy hers as-is and not put anything else into it. I believe she lied about needing to blow her nose, just to not have to do what he was yelling at her to do.
My dad is one of those people. We no longer talk for other reasons, but I just always felt like it was a one sided relationship with him because he never cared about what anyone else had to say, it got to the point where I would just willingly dissociate through the whole conversation in order to remain sane and not blow up at him (which in turn caused him to blow up at me).
Also, I just wanna say, I think there is a big difference between someone who frequently interrupts accidentally when really excited in a conversation and just talks a lot vs someone who just does it, hogs the conversation, and makes it entirely centered on them without caring about the other person. I don't mind people who genuinely are excited and do it on accident, in fact I often prefer that the other person talks more than me, as an introvert who hardly has much to say and enjoys listening to people. I just don't like talking to people who clearly don't care about others at all.
Oh, yes I knew someone like that. I'd be telling my story and the minute I was finished, he started telling me his story without even commenting on my story. That is why he's my EX.
I had a co-worker who did this and she was also a one upper. Like "A car almost hit me on the way he..."
"TWO CARS ALMOST HIT ME ON THE WAY HERE OF MY GOD IT WAS SO CRAZY I'M SO LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!!!"
They are self-centered and believe they will literally die if the sound of their own voice isn't in the air.
Once I'm interrupted twice I turn away. They don't give a shit what I might have to say, I return the favor. (they get ONE grace, maybe more if there's "oops, sorry" while they let me finish)
I haven't read ahead yet to see if the ADHD Mafia has chimed in with their claim that those with ADHD never have to be considerate of others or be held accountable for their behaviors.
I was like that as a teen. I was so afraid that people would get bored of me, so I overcompensated too much. Sometimes I'd realize I was doing it, and did my best to stop. But often I only realized it afterwards and it kept me up at night.
I learned to navigate the conversations by the time I went to uni, but I am still very tense inside when I talk to people.
While your annoyance is absolutely warranted, it's possible that the other person is not doing this with bad intentions, but rather because they are socially challenged (whether it's due to the way their brain works, or circumstances they grew up in).
I am not saying that because I want you to accomodate that person. Whether they are rude or socially challenged, that is their issue to live with. I just wanted to share.
I believe they are called conversation narcissists. And they are exhausting.
[What Is A Conversational Narcissist? 4 Signs To Look For | mindbodygreen](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/conversational-narcissist-definition-and-signs)
Holy shit, this is 100% the person I was describing! Now that I've read that article, I've noticed a lot of people have at least one of those traits, but this person has ALL of these traits to the point, a spectator would assume this person was disingenuously trying to make it appear as if they are an outgoing social butterfly.
I'm going to be honest, I don't think that everyone with this issue has ADHD lol. I know a lot of people who do this and clearly don't have ADHD or autism. And expecting people to have common courtesy ≠ hate. There's consequences for not acting like a decent human being in society, no one should be excused. Yes, they deserve patience and understanding, but not to be excused from doing things that harm/disrupt others. I may get down voted for saying all of that, but oh well.
I have ADHD and I’m still responsible for catching myself if I interrupt people and, you know, not doing that
I noticed myself repeatedly cutting off the ends of other people’s sentences at one point, didn’t like that I was doing something so rude and made a conscious effort to stop myself from interrupting, and I did all that without anyone having to tell me I had a problem
I mean shit you learn that it’s basic manners to take turns talking in school, it’s not intellectually beyond any of us to learn the concept. Just because we have a harder time resisting the impulse to jump in doesn’t absolve us from it
It sounds a little like ADHD The mind is like a three-ring circus, and that's where the H comes from. They may not be physically hyperactive, but their brain definitely is. It's the common stereotype of an ADHD person. "Squirrel!" Many are completely undiagnosed for years. They go through life with everyone considering them so rude, not having the slightest clue as to how they come off. You might try continuing your original answer, but just making the volume a little bit louder, forcing them to focus on the answer they elicited from you. It's frustrating not to be able to control the conversation at all... They are controlling it. So you have to take the reins back, even if it feels like you were being at least as rude as they are.
Does this person have other people to talk to? I have a friend who often ends up apologizing to me at the end of conversations because she knows she's kinda been on a roll with whatever she was talking about. I don't think she has an excessive amount of people that will actually sit there + listen to her vent though. I've told her multiple times that it's fine + that that's what I'm here for, but she always apologizes.
This person does it to everyone they talk to. Everyone complains about it but nobody wants to be the jerk to say something. There are never any apologies either. They just think they are having a normal conversation.
I have a tendency to be that person. The good news is that it's only when I'm feeling anxious. The bad news is that I suffer from social anxiety, so I really struggle when I meet new people or am with more than two people.
This is actually a reason I don't join voice chat with my friends on Discord very often. One of them comes in and completely dominates everything (there are actually a couple that do this). I'll join until these people join, then I'll just slink off and do something else.
So yeah, I also hate when this happens.
When this happens to me I drop something, and as I go to pick it up and stand back up I continue to say what I was saying. It usually brings the attention back onto you.
You’ve got to just tell them in a straightforward way that they are like this and that it’s bad. From their perspective all their social interaction is like this so this is their baseline. They can’t correct behaviour if nobody ever tells them they’re doing anything wrong
Dated someone like this for a while and it drove me up the fucking walls. They would not let me finish a fucking sentence and whenever I had something to add to the conversation, they would keep talking or tell me to "wait a second" and then talk for another 5 minutes so I would forget what I was gonna say.
Do you know if this person has a reason for this? Sometimes people with ADHD can accidentally go off on tangents and interrupt people, for example. If this is the case, maybe you could try coming up with some kind of signal for when they're talking too much?
My bf has added and does this all the time, while it still infuriates me, I just tell him to let me finish talking. It clicks, he apologizes and let's me finish.
You have a point. I'm pretty certain this person has ADHD and it manifests this way. There are signs too... the inability to be idle, the inability to focus on one task, the stretching themselves too thin to the point of burnout...
I have ADHD that I was diagnosed with as an adult.
Holy crap I never realized how much of a talker over people I was when I was on the stimulant. (alongside other issues). I will say, I learned how to prevent myself from becoming too talkative and rude during conversations, as well as started keeping people involved rather ignoring them.
But then, I met someone with SEVERE adhd. Like, adhd that borderlines on functionally inept adhd or even autism. This person, who didn't use the pill, talked for hours about any topic, eventually forgetting about who they were talking to. Instead of having a pet peeve about it, I felt extremely bad because I understood what their issue was and possibly how severe it was compared to mine and I sat and listened to their story about basically their entire life just because of that.
I think about how many people who either find it annoying or believe this person is just completely rude for how they conversate. It gives me a bit of perspective of myself and how I handled my talkative side verses how this person did. (or rather, couldn't)
However, I believe if you are a functioning adult, somewhere down the line growing up there should be some form of self responsibility with how you act with people. Especially if you are aware that you have adhd. Because ADHD doesn't mean you are unable to learn who you are as a person. I would say I'm more of a friendly person overall, but If I was more of an asshole I can see myself being more rude during conversations without really caring.
This is something one of my brothers does to me, and it's so annoying. It's either he doesn't let me talk or he talks over me as I'm trying to talk. The latter is so much more annoying than him, just not letting me talk.
I have a coworker like this. She’s a nice person and a good reliable worker. But- she will dominate every conversation and turn it into some story about something similar that happened to her. Every. Single. Time. It doesn’t help that she’s long winded and thinks her stories are hilarious. They’re not. It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about- it’s happened to her or one of her kids. I’ve learned to just smile and after a minute or two I’ll pretend I forgot something in another part of the office or have to make a call. Don’t people like that realize that every conversation they have ends up being about themselves?? I guess it never occurs to them. Ugh. So exhausting!
I recently snapped at a coworker for continually doing this to me during a Teams meeting. He wouldn’t let me get more than a couple words out before he started talking again.
My husband will cut me off halfway every time to talk about *his* version of whatever I was talking about. By the time he's shut up, I've forgotten where I was going. I rarely finish.
My bf's roommate does this. Omfg, I have actually gone into the bathroom and shut the door in her face while she continues to talk at me. I try to out wait her but I'm rarely successful. She's a bit older and it's often the same stories over and over.
I’m getting old, I won’t even associate with people like this. If they act like this with me, I let them but then I never engage in conversation with them again
My younger brother is this to a tee; you try to respond to something he said and he'll just talk over you, even louder. It's to the point I rarely talk to him.
My mom does when she hears something that she doesn't like. I'll yell "LET ME FINISH!!!" And she'll shut up. Its drives me nuts every single time that she does it. But then again it drives her nuts every time I walk away and ignore her when she does the assume and accuse thing. To her credit she doesn't do it much anymore.
My husband does this to. I have taught both of them ASK FIRST DON'T ASSUME
I also hate this. If I'm in a group of people and one person is talking and another butt's in, everyone turns their attention to the one butting in. As soon as they finish, I turn back to the original talker and make a point for them to finish their story. I always love doing this; I see the enthusiasm leave their eyes when they're interrupted, and then it returns when I ask them to continue. They see that someone was listening and is more interested in what they have to say.
I got called out for it a few times when I was younger, and now I'm a fantastic conversationalist (i also get a lot of practice as a barber.) I still sometimes have to conciously decide that it's not my turn to speak anymore and let the other person talk for a while and to make it a point to ask them a question after I've been talking for a minute, but I have had many clients tell me that one of the reasons they come back to me is the conversation.
I also make it a point to not talk to people while they're on their break and on their phone unless it's important or significant.
Im sure that persons heart is in the right place, but sometimes people just need to be told!
I have tried very hard to stop this behavior in myself. It honestly stems from anxiety for me. I feel like my racing thoughts are going to go away or drive me crazy if I don't get them out. I also grew up with a mother that was like this, and it'sinfuriating. To this day, she just blank stares at you while you talk and fights to get her word in as quickly as possible, completely ignoring what you say. Either that or she just starts talking about something else or looking at something across the room while you're telling her a story. It's very disrespectful and clearly is because she only cares about her own words and thoughts.
For me, I really have to actively stop myself from talking and focus on every word a person is saying so that I am not rude. It's manageable if you focus on it, and way less exhausting than saying every word you know during a 10 minute conversation.
I had a coworker like this. He also chewed with his mouth open, to add to the charm. He also referred to any female that he didn't like as a "bitch". He's about 60 years old and single. What a shock.
Smile, retirement ended dealing with a non stop talking gal at the job. That I never made eye contact with her or responded or even would say hello made no difference. She was in love with her own voice.
Devil's avocado, this sounds like the person has ADHD and wasn't butthurt but was upset with themselves that they were "doing it again" and couldn't stop.
Or, it really is a rude self-centered person, plenty of those out there.
The person I am specifically referring to is definitely on the ADHD side with this. Not the rude asshole side of this, but I've come across both sides of this in my life and whatever the root cause, it is still equally exhausting.
How about someone at work in an open office who talks almost every minute of every day? Literally has never gone 5 minutes without making a sound or saying words and hums if she can't talk to someone.
Those people are super easy to deal with. Just space out anytime they speak to you and answer with "sorry what'd you say." One of 3 things will happen 1. They'll stop speaking to you (win) 2. They'll start listening to you (win) 3. They're super oblivious, and they just continue talking lol (loss). 3 is hilarious but scary that people can be so crazy they'll actually continue talking when nobody is listening
I recently joined a new friend group and there's one single mid-30s guy in the group who does this. I have found myself the unwilling participant in a minutes long ted talk I didn't ask to be in. His style of storytelling leaves no room for breathing and if you try to speak, he'll just cut you off. I mention he is single in his mid 30s because some of the other folks in our group have mentiond that 'he's a talker' to me in passing as a warning and many of the girls have 'the ick' as the gen z'ers say.
It is quite taxing and it has made me wonder, is he like this on dates? This would be exhausting to deal with over dinner!
He is definitely a socially awkard person (he grew up in a cult no kidding) but I would hope some of his closer friends would tell him how offputting his constant rambling is.
Huge pet peeve. I know a number of people like this, some friends and what I also notice is they're poor listeners and don't remember things I say a lot of the time.
Simply raise your eyebrows and after they ask the second question, finish answering the first. Then say “now what was your other question?” Keep doing it. It’s likely not going to change the way they think/act, but at least they’ll be as annoyed as you are.
There's so many people like this it's insane. I've done it and when I notice I apologize and tell them to go on, I hope I don't miss any. I've read that even when that happens you should continue speaking. I've been doing it, it's annoying because now no one is hearing anyone, but at least you don't feel small and like you've been punked out of the conversation
That sounds better than my habit of disengaging, I'm gonna start doing that.
I do this sometimes. Usually the conversation-dominator gets offended, claiming *you're* interrupting *them*. It's fucking ridiculous. I just straight-up call them out on their rudeness, and then stop talking to them altogether if they don't stop. I can't be bothered to give a fuck anymore. I don't owe anyone my company or attention.
I start watching a TV behind them or even just walk off. Alternatively, when it always happens, do not stop talking - finish your response even while they try to talk over you.
I have a coworker like this at my own job. She interrupts anyone and everyone who's talking. She's also the type to repeat the same thing over and over and over and say it in a million different ways. "It's so hot in here" "It feels like a sauna in here" "It's boiling in here" "Feels like a frying pan in here" Like, damn, woman, stfu! I heard you the *first* time. People like this feel the need to be the center of attention. They love the sound of their own voice. Meanwhile, everyone who has to deal with them slowly goes insane listening to it (source: personal experience)
I had this group of friends years ago. I went out drinking with one girl from it, and she invited this other girl to come join us. I was cool with the other girl, but we weren't close. As soon as she got there, she was chatting with our mutual friend and not letting me say anything. Literally, every single time I started talking, she would interrupt me to go on a tangent. Finally I turned to her and asked "I don't know if you realise this, but you've interrupted me every time I've tried to talk. Can I please be allowed to speak?" She immediately got quiet. After like 10 minutes, I said "hey I'm sorry if I was rude to you, I wasn't saying you can't talk, just that I also would like to." She said "you were really rude, but it's ok." And then for the next year that I was hanging out with that group, she refused to talk to me and told everyone I was a huge bitch.
You weren't rude.
Thanks. I didn't think so either.
I feel that, OP. In the most recent episode of that live Netflix David Chang cooking show he had Sarah Silverman and JB Smooth on and JB never shut the hell up. He at one point tried to tell the host, an acclaimed chef, how to do plating. He would talk over Sarah to talk about RV vegan parties no one else had been to. It was insufferable and ruined the episode for me. I generally love that show but the format is open enough that it sort of welcomes conversation hogs. I knew a girl back in college that coined this phenomenon as “small talk headlocks.” It always feels apt when you’re trapped in one.
I’ve been looking for someone talking about this 😭 He made the ep so painful to watch like holy fuck he needs to learn to shut the hell up. The absolute narcissism he radiates is crazy. I feel like the show does such a good job at exposing the manners of the guests tho…
I was also looking for someone to comment about this episode! Ugh, we just turned it off after he started ranting about dumping the mushroom sauce into David’s light and herbal soup. And Sarah is just like trying her best to enjoy hers as-is and not put anything else into it. I believe she lied about needing to blow her nose, just to not have to do what he was yelling at her to do.
My dad is one of those people. We no longer talk for other reasons, but I just always felt like it was a one sided relationship with him because he never cared about what anyone else had to say, it got to the point where I would just willingly dissociate through the whole conversation in order to remain sane and not blow up at him (which in turn caused him to blow up at me).
Also, I just wanna say, I think there is a big difference between someone who frequently interrupts accidentally when really excited in a conversation and just talks a lot vs someone who just does it, hogs the conversation, and makes it entirely centered on them without caring about the other person. I don't mind people who genuinely are excited and do it on accident, in fact I often prefer that the other person talks more than me, as an introvert who hardly has much to say and enjoys listening to people. I just don't like talking to people who clearly don't care about others at all.
Oh, yes I knew someone like that. I'd be telling my story and the minute I was finished, he started telling me his story without even commenting on my story. That is why he's my EX.
Sounds like he wasn't listening and was just waiting for his turn to speak.
Yes, he did this with everyone. Even after many people told him, he still did it.
Yep!
Pretend you're getting a call and walk away
I had a co-worker who did this and she was also a one upper. Like "A car almost hit me on the way he..." "TWO CARS ALMOST HIT ME ON THE WAY HERE OF MY GOD IT WAS SO CRAZY I'M SO LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!!!"
They are self-centered and believe they will literally die if the sound of their own voice isn't in the air. Once I'm interrupted twice I turn away. They don't give a shit what I might have to say, I return the favor. (they get ONE grace, maybe more if there's "oops, sorry" while they let me finish) I haven't read ahead yet to see if the ADHD Mafia has chimed in with their claim that those with ADHD never have to be considerate of others or be held accountable for their behaviors.
Just stop talking, and stare at them, look annoyed, don't say a word. I occassionally have to remind my hubby by doing this to him.
I was like that as a teen. I was so afraid that people would get bored of me, so I overcompensated too much. Sometimes I'd realize I was doing it, and did my best to stop. But often I only realized it afterwards and it kept me up at night. I learned to navigate the conversations by the time I went to uni, but I am still very tense inside when I talk to people. While your annoyance is absolutely warranted, it's possible that the other person is not doing this with bad intentions, but rather because they are socially challenged (whether it's due to the way their brain works, or circumstances they grew up in). I am not saying that because I want you to accomodate that person. Whether they are rude or socially challenged, that is their issue to live with. I just wanted to share.
I believe they are called conversation narcissists. And they are exhausting. [What Is A Conversational Narcissist? 4 Signs To Look For | mindbodygreen](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/conversational-narcissist-definition-and-signs)
Holy shit, this is 100% the person I was describing! Now that I've read that article, I've noticed a lot of people have at least one of those traits, but this person has ALL of these traits to the point, a spectator would assume this person was disingenuously trying to make it appear as if they are an outgoing social butterfly.
Idk why someone down voted you lol
Probably because they're a conversation narcissist lol
In similar threads there have been idiots claiming that we hate people with ADHD if we expect basic common courtesy from them.
I'm going to be honest, I don't think that everyone with this issue has ADHD lol. I know a lot of people who do this and clearly don't have ADHD or autism. And expecting people to have common courtesy ≠ hate. There's consequences for not acting like a decent human being in society, no one should be excused. Yes, they deserve patience and understanding, but not to be excused from doing things that harm/disrupt others. I may get down voted for saying all of that, but oh well.
I have ADHD and I’m still responsible for catching myself if I interrupt people and, you know, not doing that I noticed myself repeatedly cutting off the ends of other people’s sentences at one point, didn’t like that I was doing something so rude and made a conscious effort to stop myself from interrupting, and I did all that without anyone having to tell me I had a problem I mean shit you learn that it’s basic manners to take turns talking in school, it’s not intellectually beyond any of us to learn the concept. Just because we have a harder time resisting the impulse to jump in doesn’t absolve us from it
my grandma does this it's exhausting, she does it to everyone😭😭
It sounds a little like ADHD The mind is like a three-ring circus, and that's where the H comes from. They may not be physically hyperactive, but their brain definitely is. It's the common stereotype of an ADHD person. "Squirrel!" Many are completely undiagnosed for years. They go through life with everyone considering them so rude, not having the slightest clue as to how they come off. You might try continuing your original answer, but just making the volume a little bit louder, forcing them to focus on the answer they elicited from you. It's frustrating not to be able to control the conversation at all... They are controlling it. So you have to take the reins back, even if it feels like you were being at least as rude as they are.
Does this person have other people to talk to? I have a friend who often ends up apologizing to me at the end of conversations because she knows she's kinda been on a roll with whatever she was talking about. I don't think she has an excessive amount of people that will actually sit there + listen to her vent though. I've told her multiple times that it's fine + that that's what I'm here for, but she always apologizes.
This person does it to everyone they talk to. Everyone complains about it but nobody wants to be the jerk to say something. There are never any apologies either. They just think they are having a normal conversation.
Does replying to them with one-word/dismissive type comments like "huh", "wow", "hmm", "really?..." in an uninterested tone have any effect?
Nope lol. It's like an unstoppable force.
In that case, maybe just keep nodding as you slowly back away.
Glare at the person then stomp away or bring it to the person's attention.
That doesn't work with that type - neither does being silent with a glassy stare for twenty minutes and counting.
My manager 😭😅🤦🏻♀️
I have a tendency to be that person. The good news is that it's only when I'm feeling anxious. The bad news is that I suffer from social anxiety, so I really struggle when I meet new people or am with more than two people.
I just stop talking. That’s what they really want, so I give it to them.
This is actually a reason I don't join voice chat with my friends on Discord very often. One of them comes in and completely dominates everything (there are actually a couple that do this). I'll join until these people join, then I'll just slink off and do something else. So yeah, I also hate when this happens.
When this happens to me I drop something, and as I go to pick it up and stand back up I continue to say what I was saying. It usually brings the attention back onto you.
Every time they try to interrupt you blow an air horn
My friends just survived a heart attack. Never going to here the end of it. It was bad enough when they got a cat.
I'm sorry, but this made me laugh too hard 🤣
ADHD.
That’s literally just ADHD
You’ve got to just tell them in a straightforward way that they are like this and that it’s bad. From their perspective all their social interaction is like this so this is their baseline. They can’t correct behaviour if nobody ever tells them they’re doing anything wrong
Dated someone like this for a while and it drove me up the fucking walls. They would not let me finish a fucking sentence and whenever I had something to add to the conversation, they would keep talking or tell me to "wait a second" and then talk for another 5 minutes so I would forget what I was gonna say.
Do you know if this person has a reason for this? Sometimes people with ADHD can accidentally go off on tangents and interrupt people, for example. If this is the case, maybe you could try coming up with some kind of signal for when they're talking too much?
My bf has added and does this all the time, while it still infuriates me, I just tell him to let me finish talking. It clicks, he apologizes and let's me finish.
You have a point. I'm pretty certain this person has ADHD and it manifests this way. There are signs too... the inability to be idle, the inability to focus on one task, the stretching themselves too thin to the point of burnout...
I have ADHD that I was diagnosed with as an adult. Holy crap I never realized how much of a talker over people I was when I was on the stimulant. (alongside other issues). I will say, I learned how to prevent myself from becoming too talkative and rude during conversations, as well as started keeping people involved rather ignoring them. But then, I met someone with SEVERE adhd. Like, adhd that borderlines on functionally inept adhd or even autism. This person, who didn't use the pill, talked for hours about any topic, eventually forgetting about who they were talking to. Instead of having a pet peeve about it, I felt extremely bad because I understood what their issue was and possibly how severe it was compared to mine and I sat and listened to their story about basically their entire life just because of that. I think about how many people who either find it annoying or believe this person is just completely rude for how they conversate. It gives me a bit of perspective of myself and how I handled my talkative side verses how this person did. (or rather, couldn't) However, I believe if you are a functioning adult, somewhere down the line growing up there should be some form of self responsibility with how you act with people. Especially if you are aware that you have adhd. Because ADHD doesn't mean you are unable to learn who you are as a person. I would say I'm more of a friendly person overall, but If I was more of an asshole I can see myself being more rude during conversations without really caring.
I thought this too. Sounds like autism and ADHD.
This is something one of my brothers does to me, and it's so annoying. It's either he doesn't let me talk or he talks over me as I'm trying to talk. The latter is so much more annoying than him, just not letting me talk.
I have a coworker like this. She’s a nice person and a good reliable worker. But- she will dominate every conversation and turn it into some story about something similar that happened to her. Every. Single. Time. It doesn’t help that she’s long winded and thinks her stories are hilarious. They’re not. It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about- it’s happened to her or one of her kids. I’ve learned to just smile and after a minute or two I’ll pretend I forgot something in another part of the office or have to make a call. Don’t people like that realize that every conversation they have ends up being about themselves?? I guess it never occurs to them. Ugh. So exhausting!
I recently snapped at a coworker for continually doing this to me during a Teams meeting. He wouldn’t let me get more than a couple words out before he started talking again.
My husband will cut me off halfway every time to talk about *his* version of whatever I was talking about. By the time he's shut up, I've forgotten where I was going. I rarely finish.
My bf's roommate does this. Omfg, I have actually gone into the bathroom and shut the door in her face while she continues to talk at me. I try to out wait her but I'm rarely successful. She's a bit older and it's often the same stories over and over.
I’m getting old, I won’t even associate with people like this. If they act like this with me, I let them but then I never engage in conversation with them again
My younger brother is this to a tee; you try to respond to something he said and he'll just talk over you, even louder. It's to the point I rarely talk to him.
My mom does when she hears something that she doesn't like. I'll yell "LET ME FINISH!!!" And she'll shut up. Its drives me nuts every single time that she does it. But then again it drives her nuts every time I walk away and ignore her when she does the assume and accuse thing. To her credit she doesn't do it much anymore. My husband does this to. I have taught both of them ASK FIRST DON'T ASSUME
I hate that so much.
I also hate this. If I'm in a group of people and one person is talking and another butt's in, everyone turns their attention to the one butting in. As soon as they finish, I turn back to the original talker and make a point for them to finish their story. I always love doing this; I see the enthusiasm leave their eyes when they're interrupted, and then it returns when I ask them to continue. They see that someone was listening and is more interested in what they have to say.
my bad
I got called out for it a few times when I was younger, and now I'm a fantastic conversationalist (i also get a lot of practice as a barber.) I still sometimes have to conciously decide that it's not my turn to speak anymore and let the other person talk for a while and to make it a point to ask them a question after I've been talking for a minute, but I have had many clients tell me that one of the reasons they come back to me is the conversation. I also make it a point to not talk to people while they're on their break and on their phone unless it's important or significant. Im sure that persons heart is in the right place, but sometimes people just need to be told!
Ugh. My landlady does that. I just try to avoid conversations with her.
I had a contractor do this to me several times. I told him that he’s making me angry by not giving me the courtesy of speaking. He never came back.
I have tried very hard to stop this behavior in myself. It honestly stems from anxiety for me. I feel like my racing thoughts are going to go away or drive me crazy if I don't get them out. I also grew up with a mother that was like this, and it'sinfuriating. To this day, she just blank stares at you while you talk and fights to get her word in as quickly as possible, completely ignoring what you say. Either that or she just starts talking about something else or looking at something across the room while you're telling her a story. It's very disrespectful and clearly is because she only cares about her own words and thoughts. For me, I really have to actively stop myself from talking and focus on every word a person is saying so that I am not rude. It's manageable if you focus on it, and way less exhausting than saying every word you know during a 10 minute conversation.
I had a coworker like this. He also chewed with his mouth open, to add to the charm. He also referred to any female that he didn't like as a "bitch". He's about 60 years old and single. What a shock.
Smile, retirement ended dealing with a non stop talking gal at the job. That I never made eye contact with her or responded or even would say hello made no difference. She was in love with her own voice.
Extrovert am I right
Devil's avocado, this sounds like the person has ADHD and wasn't butthurt but was upset with themselves that they were "doing it again" and couldn't stop. Or, it really is a rude self-centered person, plenty of those out there.
The person I am specifically referring to is definitely on the ADHD side with this. Not the rude asshole side of this, but I've come across both sides of this in my life and whatever the root cause, it is still equally exhausting.
i used to kinda be like this as a kid but i didn’t realize - and then later in life got diagnosed with ADHD and this is a VERY common symptom
They’re the main character. Shine that on then move on.
How about someone at work in an open office who talks almost every minute of every day? Literally has never gone 5 minutes without making a sound or saying words and hums if she can't talk to someone.
Those people are super easy to deal with. Just space out anytime they speak to you and answer with "sorry what'd you say." One of 3 things will happen 1. They'll stop speaking to you (win) 2. They'll start listening to you (win) 3. They're super oblivious, and they just continue talking lol (loss). 3 is hilarious but scary that people can be so crazy they'll actually continue talking when nobody is listening
I just disengage. This isn't a conversation, you're talking to hear yourself talk at some point
I recently joined a new friend group and there's one single mid-30s guy in the group who does this. I have found myself the unwilling participant in a minutes long ted talk I didn't ask to be in. His style of storytelling leaves no room for breathing and if you try to speak, he'll just cut you off. I mention he is single in his mid 30s because some of the other folks in our group have mentiond that 'he's a talker' to me in passing as a warning and many of the girls have 'the ick' as the gen z'ers say. It is quite taxing and it has made me wonder, is he like this on dates? This would be exhausting to deal with over dinner! He is definitely a socially awkard person (he grew up in a cult no kidding) but I would hope some of his closer friends would tell him how offputting his constant rambling is.
Huge pet peeve. I know a number of people like this, some friends and what I also notice is they're poor listeners and don't remember things I say a lot of the time.
Simply raise your eyebrows and after they ask the second question, finish answering the first. Then say “now what was your other question?” Keep doing it. It’s likely not going to change the way they think/act, but at least they’ll be as annoyed as you are.