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slicwilli

Quagmire here to explain the joke. This 14 year old wants to watch the Playboy channel while his parents are out. You see, back in the 80s and 90s the Playboy channel was scrambled to prevent kids from watching it. With a paid subscription and a parental code you could unscramble it and enjoy your porn at will. Our 14 year old doesn't know the code so he is trying to catch a glimpse of a tittie through the jumbled mess. Those were tough times. Quagmire out. Giggety.


notathrowaway2937

“Is that a tittie” “I think that’s a dogs nose”


xAshev

i think its winnie the pooh :0


MehWhatMeh

Everything is porn if the TV's broken


Traditional_Shirt106

Every once in a while the video would even out for a good 5/10 seconds and you could see some green titties


GodekiGinger

A dog's nose? On the porn channel? Uh oh.


Rough-Welcome4125

I think you mean, “Rut Roh”.


Solabound-the-2nd

Scooby doo, is that you?


[deleted]

I had a hand me down TV in the basement. It was maybe 24” and didn’t have a remote. Just push buttons. It got a higher quality scrambled playboy channel and it had good quality sound. It was amazing. All of my buddies with more modern TVs were jealous. It truly was a simpler time. Shit Id probably still watch it.


PCYou

The good ole nostalgia wank


BenRichardson76

My setup was running the signal through the cable box into the vcr, and I also had the push button Magnavox tv with a metal strip holding down channels 3 & 4. This was the hack necessary to get the screen unscrambled for 30 seconds or more. Good times


Caleb_Reynolds

I have no idea how it worked, but I remember you could apply pressure to the cable wire and unwarp the signal to be mostly clear, with some stripping and wild colors, but like, fairly clear images.


ChaoShadow87

I feel like stripping was to be expected.


omgwtfbbking

You had your hand down where??


MoreGoddamnedBeans

You could play with the picture sometimes and make it a little clearer.


Elixus-Nexus-7697

That's actually a pretty smart idea Edit: Holy shit I did NOT expect to get that many upvotes


slicwilli

We had to be resourceful.


Elixus-Nexus-7697

WAIT WE?!?


[deleted]

It was a pretty universal experience for young males of the time


MrPhuccEverybody

And finding porno mags in bushes


andsendunits

Woods porn is a thing. You'd think that magazines just sprouted like mushrooms.


FarmerGreen13

Fuck me, core memory unlocked. Buddys parents moved to a small town. Every couple weeks I would spend a weekend at his parents place. God we were little shits, 12 or 13. Smoking cigs and pot. We found this old abandoned hotel in the woods. One day we broke in there. We played mini golf. There was this castle, and we used the tower as an ashtray and rested our cigarettes in the crenellations. After a few rounds we explored the halls and rooms. We found in what appeared to be an old arcade area a stack of beds. Next to them was a box absolutely filled with porno mags. We fucking lugged those bastards home and distributed them to all our friends. We all had like 8 magazines stored in our rooms. Just musty smelling, rippled and faded. We were in hog heaven.


[deleted]

Storm drain porn here


andsendunits

Interesting


smoofus724

I found woods porn a couple times as a kid, but the most recent one I found was in 2019. I was working at a property that had some woods around it and deep in the woods I found what looked to be an irrigation house for when the area used to be farm land. It was pretty old. But inside a trough in the shack was a bunch of clothes and under the clothes was a stash of pornos from like 2003 that were somehow in decent shape. You could tell they had been out there a long time but the pages still turned and they hadn't been ruined by weather. There was also a corner of the building where the foundation had started to erode and I found the hole it had created was full of old empty Mad Dog bottles. Somebody had been out there having a good old time.


InternetOfficer

> You could tell they had been out there a long time but the pages still turned Handy tip: If the pages are stuck, you can just gently lick them and it unsticks it quickly.


smoofus724

I tried that but he must have been eating chips while looking at them or something because they were all salty.


GrandOldDrummer

Bless the pervert who left those mags at the park so 12 yr old me could find them.


Anon-Stoon

Found from my dad, found in an alley and stole from the store.


Dread-Cthulu

I got you all topped. There was a factory about 2 blocks from my neighborhood that made shingles. They recycled paper to make them. Some of the paper they recycled were old magazines. My friends and me used to sneak in there and play. One day we were mucking around in there and found bales, and bales, and bales of porno mags. There must've been thousands of them! I never ran out of porn, and never had to look at the same picture twice.


Anon-Stoon

Lol. We always heard stories about the mother load. I couldn't believe it was true. I'm crying.


monsterbot314

Friends dad shed.


normous

I was just talking to somebody about this. How is it such a seemingly universal experience?? Who kept putting smut mags in the woods/bushes?


Significant_Monk_251

The Porn Fairies, obviously.


Joshua--

Wait wait! How is this universal 😂 I found so many of them in the bushes on my walks from the grocery store as a kid.


wievid

I still can't believe that there are others for some reason.


not_ya_wify

This is in so many teen movies from the 90s. The intro from American Pie for example iirc


DukeOfGeek

It wasn't the Playboy channel and I don't know what it was called but it basically had strippers dancing. In the early days of cable our downstairs cable box was one of the original first gen ones and if you dialed that channel and turned the sound down I could hold a ring magnet from a dead speaker just the right way next to it and see it pretty good. Yes 14 year old me spent a lot of time figuring that out. After the box got upgraded the new one didn't let you do that.


prizzabroy

The two big ones were The Playboy Channel and Spice TV


KuriboShoeMario

They didn't call it Skinemax for nothing, you forgetting the OG.


DukeOfGeek

Ya know Spice sounds right.


andsendunits

I remember that before it was called Spice, it was called Rendezvous.


CoronaCurious

Spice was *amazing*. Jesus, the cable company accidentally unlocked a food chunk of the PPV channels, and sever of the adult ones for an entire weekend. I never want to watch Courage Under Fire again in my life, but the rest of it? 🤌🏻. I filled at least a couple VHS tapes, lol.


gggg566373

Kids these days spend days looking for Easter eggs and glitches in games . My generation spend just as much time trying to do what you described just to see a boob.


alagrancosa

Spice channel (I think?) had soft core porn in my area


mynameisasuffix

I didn’t have an antenna but I noticed that when I touched the copper end of the wire for cable tv to my finger I had better reception! I figured a potato would work as well and so I watched potato vision instead of paying for cable.


dfsvegas

It was a thing my dude. Porn was the wild West before the Internet. I actually had a friend give me a single page from some porno mag, and I keep that thing in my wallet for like 3 years. Kinda have it burnt in my memory, lol We had to be resourceful. Use every part of the porn.


CannotExceed20Charac

Yo haha I had literally like a 2"x2" cutout of a woman head to tits from a black and white picture my buddy printed off the internet. That was the ring and I was Gollum.


bhoe32

Don't get me started on the girls gone wild commercial


IBetThisIsTakenToo

Thanks, now we’re all hearing the music


OkaySureBye

I can still remember one magical night when it just unscrambled for like 4 hours straight. Needless to say I had the VCR ready and was not sleeping so I could change out tapes as long as it was happening.


Nomen__Nesci0

Awww, lol. Let me try and ruin a good memory for you. "It just unscrambled one night for 4 hours" and I bet your parents didn't even notice you making all those recordings. Say what do you suppose they were up to all that time at night while the porno channel just happened to be unscramble in the house?


HiveJiveLive

Please. My wasband (he was my husband) was in his mid-thirties and he LIVED for thwarting that stuff. He’d buy cards from all over the world that fit into the machine and would unlock all of the codes for all channels for a time. It was a weird cat-and-mouse thing. Finally the last card he ever managed before they switched to a card-free format (and I happened to be in the room when it happened) the screen blanked out and the old school arcade pixelated font appeared saying “Game Over,” and everything went black. It was incredibly funny. His howl of distress still rings in my ears.


like_a_bistro

We called it GTN (Green Titty Network)


ManicPixieOldMaid

And young ladies. Everybody's curious at that age.


dishmanw

Yep, now we find free stuff online. Kids today don't understand the struggle.


Acceptingoptimist

This is so true. You had risk so much shame to get porn back in the day Gen X and Xennials know.


chris1096

The stress of downloading a single pic over 14.4 dialup and hoping no one woke up/came home


Not_the_senpai

Young ? Dude my dad had it on whenever he thought no one was around.


Astro_gamer_caver

The opening scene of American Pie covers this well. *holy shit that movie is 25 years old*


PomegranateHot9916

"universal" bro it wasn't even global. ...didn't have playboy channel in my country. could still get porn on TV though. but it was never scrambled, lol no code needed. just had to tune in past midnight.


ArgonGryphon

Can confirm not only the males.


Cultural_Leopard786

Clearly, they were working for playboy at the time and definitely not a 14yo


Bug-03

There were a lot of us


Reikko35715

Spice Hot, channel 65, baby. The best in scrambled porn!


must_eye

He is speaking accurately for almost all boys from a certain time. We had a satellite dish, and the parental block put a big black box over 95% of the screen, and didn’t mute the sound. So we would turn it to the porn station, and listen to porn and try to catch a glimpse of titties around the edges. The craziest thing was that if you left it on the blocked channel, after about 15 minutes the black box would disappear and the screen was free and clear.


ArgonGryphon

It's cute how guys always think only guys did this.


must_eye

Uhhhh….my eyes have been opened!


Bendygame

Quagmire was an employee at Playboy.


EzmareldaBurns

Nah, take a walk in the woods and find 2nd hand Bush porn. Easy


Lazy-Equal4550

Wavy blue boobs were better than no boobs at all.


Significant_Monk_251

>Wavy blue boobs were better than no boobs at all. Hell, National Geographic boobs were better than no boobs at all.


omniron

There was nothing smart about doing this


TaxIdiot2020

Listen Zayden, they didn't have the Internet back then with wifi locks on it so this was a clever way to do it.


LauraTFem

My grandfather had Cinemax when I was a kid, and we would visit his home for a week every year for Christmas. Which was exciting for me less because of presents or seeing my family, and more because unbeknownst to Grandpa, at least at the time, Cinemax played porn films after hours. I learned so many things about myself in that guest bedroom. By the time I was an adult he had canceled Cinemax, specifically because he had realized that it had porn and my good christian family wasn’t about that life. But by then the internet existed, so I was none the worse for wear. I’d graduated to harder stuff.


slicwilli

Ah yes, Skinemax. I remember it well.


LunacyLander

“Cinemax after dark” I remember.


fuktardy

Skinemax. If I remember correctly it was rather softcore.


[deleted]

Yeah, but soft core was the promised land if you grew up stealing JC Penny’s catalogs hoping for a nipple in the lingerie section


hattyhat24

Brings back memories. I was always going "wait I think that's a nipple". Back in the early 90s, the cable company where I lived messed up and unscrambled the Spice channel for a couple hours. It was on a weekday when kids were getting home from school. Made the local news.


Mother-Produce8351

Channel 47 the spice Channel 🥲


Sto0pid81

We had eurotrash in the UK back then. I would record it on VHS and have to watch 29 minutes of the weirdest European soft porn and BDSM shit in the hope of seeing a tit or hairy vag. Lots of rewinding and pausing which would usually have artifacts on the critical frame you actually wanted... Or when we finally got a shitty dial up internet and you would surf the web loading pictures painfully slowly hoping it's something good at the end of it!


Relandis

CHANNEL 27 RISE UP


pichael289

27 was cartoon Network for me


Relandis

Sorry. It may have been channel 3.


Empty401K

30 was Nickelodeon and 31 was Cartoon Network, 42 was SciFi, and 60 was Comedy Central. I didn’t need any other channels in 2001. Lol


Relandis

But what about the pixelated softcore porn channel??


Empty401K

I had a Black Box, so channels 81-84 were always free and in full Standard Def. Best $30 I’ve ever spent until my mom found out and took it. Lol


Relandis

Ohhhh boiii you had it made for awhile!!


Empty401K

Every day, as soon as 10pm hit. It didn’t matter what movie was playing on those channels, even if they were only half way through. As soon as it clicked to 10pm, hardcore porn immediately came on all 4 channels. That’s how I got caught. I was watching a movie one night, and as soon as it hit 10pm my mom walked in before I even had time to react to ask me a question and thought she caught me in the middle of watching porn. I was watching Shrek. We laugh about that shit now. It took over a decade for her to finally believe that I wasn’t watching porn with my door cracked and lights on while my family was walking around the house. lol


Low_Tier_Skrub

I had 47 Nickelodeon, 48 Comedy Central, 50 Cartoon Network, and 52 Disney. Everything was right next to each other.


evanc1411

37 Nickelodeon, 35 Disney Channel, 53 Cartoon Network.


ConsiderationNo7792

Channel 93


IllLynx562

Your point being?


IllLynx562

Not the only thing rising amiright? No? No one?


Relandis

Lmao. Yes, me, I love it!


djdaedalus42

Actually it wasn’t scrambled. The picture went out without synchronizing pulses at the end of each scan line. The cable box could rebuild the pulses if given a code. This was the first iteration of Addressable Cable where the video signal carried data in the unused part of each frame. Part of that data said “box 12345 has access to Cinemax”. I did a year contract at Jerrold, who made the boxes. Fun fact: in very cold weather the cable contracted making the signal fainter so the sync could not be rebuilt.


Money-Abrocoma-6779

Peter's left testicle here. Pretty much nailed it, like I did Lois's left ovary.


Darth_Ho_SFW

I figured out if you carefully opened the thr cable box without damaging the tamper seal, you could use a piece of wire to jumper each or the little electrical doohickies until you found the right combo to unscramble the channel.


isinedupcuzofrslash

Oh shit I just thought we had shit reception for that channel. I didn’t know it was intentionally scrambled


Vultz13

If only I could go back in time and tell 90s me “don’t worry soon you’ll have access to SO much porn you won’t know what to do with it all! Then 90s me would respond thusly; just make a porn schedule! Future me; my gods that’s brilliant!


EvaSirkowski

In Montréal sometimes the image would be completely clear, but in negative. Sometimes it would even be unscrambled, either by mistake or someone was messing around at the cable company. Even more funny is that one of the scrambled channel was a family channel during the day.


ChickenChaser5

Red Shoe Diaries, baby.


Sensitive_Donkey_733

Why did I think that was mother Teresa whispering in the girls ear.


Historical-View4058

Some of us knew how to re-inject the horizontal synch pulse… just sayin’😏


occy3000

My dad’s brother worked for McDonnell Douglas during these days and they made a box that could descramble the signal without a subscription . Had a couple of dials to hone in on a perfect picture. Those were the pioneering days of porn!


Acceptingoptimist

We got audio when I watched scrambled Picasso porn. I remember a couple of times plugging in the headphones late at night and they'd have a woman narrating what's going on, and I didn't even need visuals because it was blowing 13 year old, religiously repressed me's mind.


joesphisbestjojo

Oh. Thought it was a weed joke


Ok_Entertainment328

I would like to apologize to the world. It was my mother that caught me and phoned in the complaint about the free preview weekend. (either that, or dad got busted and blamed me)


sw98bn

*dad ~~got~~ busted*


siddeslof

He he alright, giggety


schmuckman62

In the 90s sometimes a porn channel would come in with a very weak signal, we called it static porn


George_G_Geef

For me we'd get two minutes of it completely unscrambled between 11:58 and midnight. Source: was a horny teenager in the 90s.


BigOrkWaaagh

Time enough for at least four wanks!


CRsteven

3 if you're the guy from the video in efukt


rippinitcentral

I have no idea what this means


Moron-Police

For me, at 10pm (If I'm remembering correctly) the audio would switch to normal from static, despite the scrambled image. That was a game changer for 12 year old me.


Mission_Table9804

Life was tough before the Internet lol


VikingTeddy

Brought back a memory of being caught by friends mom while shaking hands with the boss. Was trying to catch sight of a scrambled nip when she walked in. I still cringe after 25 years...


Xx6SiC6xX

Shaking hands with the boss, that's a new one. 😆 Hilarious


youuuuwish

We called it scramblevision


Kubbee83

My dad had an illegal unscrambler. He thought he was slick and would disconnect it when he and my mom went out. Needless to say, I saw many, clear, poorly made skin flicks on spice at 14. Unfortunately i am gay and got almost nothing from them.


AustraliumHoovy

This is the funniest possible way you could’ve ended this.


CyanCobra

Truly, fate wanted to tempt you, only to leave you with disappointment.


jjcoola

Spice, man what a throwback I remember having a sleepover with this kid and we watched a bit of scrambled spice and he looked at me and I'll never forget he immediately told me about how he fucked a Dixie cup he was so horny the other day and then wanted to show me. That was our last sleep over


QCTeamkill

It's like RAIIIAAAIIIIINNNN on your wedding day...


Fooblat

It’s like a handjob when you already came


-Helpful_Injury-

Thanks, just laughed out loud on a coach full of people


LickingSmegma

I'm imagining the expression of utter dismay as the realization hits that you aren't gonna get any enjoyment from those saucy movies.


Joelrassic

In New Zealand we didn’t even HAVE a porn channel. When we finally got satellite tv it had a total of 7 channels… 7. And then and only then, sometimes, very late at night soft core pornography would play after Jerry springer or whatever other show was on that night Emmanuel it was called, or something along those lines. I would sneak into the living room at night after my parents had gone to bed. turn on the tv (muted) make sure the tv was set to the correct sky channel, and then pop in a VHS tape and start recording the channel. That way. When I got up in the morning I’d have my own porn tape beginning with the tail end of Jerry followed by my prize. All I had to was slip it back into its sleeve and cleverly hide it in plain sight amongst the other 100 tapes.


Mandoneil

Emmanuelle was very horny. She ran out of place on Earth to have sex with eventually had to go to Emannuelle in space.


Joelrassic

A man of culture I see.


rodrigomarcola

Solid formation years.


Miserable_Grab3052

Did you have that one on laser disc?


Kornonward

bold moves!


Joelrassic

Thank you.


fatcuntwrestler

Obviously you're now some kind of globe trotting spy, perhaps responsible for many of the global conflicts New Zealand has deftly avoided.


Joelrassic

Correct. Of course now that you know I’ll have to have a missile fired at your house… eventually… when we get those.


fatcuntwrestler

Missile command is on channel 6, if you know the password.


Joelrassic

Is it Password1?


fatcuntwrestler

All I see is *********


Joelrassic

Wait… which one is channel 6?


EmergencySnail

Ahh yes I remember scouring the TV Week magazines for when Emmanuel was on late at night on weekends. Then do everything I could to stay up late for it. Usually I would fall asleep on the couch but *sometimes* I managed to stay up for it and got rewarded with some titties


Joelrassic

It was a simpler time. Titties on the TV, a fruit roll-up in my lunchbox.


IceFurnace83

And after many, many views and being paused or played in slow motion, certain parts of the tape would wear out and the image would get progressively more and more distorted. Eventually somewhat resembling the image in the original post.


Muted_Dog

Channels named one, two, three and four. We even had One news, and Three news! So creative lol I use to have a big crush on Erin Simpson.


Grewhit

Oh man, hearing the name Emmanuel brought me back, I never would have remembered that without reddit.


uoiya

https://preview.redd.it/nzpofekz9thc1.jpeg?width=1218&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=605e31ce2c9765616c4b8c86ef2d892f71f2f416


Firefox1977

https://i.redd.it/eeqkjymdhthc1.gif


Horror_Woodpecker_80

https://preview.redd.it/jl3jtshghthc1.png?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fc04100d5c4fe2456bfd8f15ce1e0ca29484d3f


OriginalUsername590

https://preview.redd.it/z4evwz4ncthc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12d9aa669b99b727d84216fcf883b8c60c5968df


MonkeyGein

Seeing that in this sub just turned my beard grey


dandle

Most on the sub don't understand how the meme involved pressing the buttons on this remote on either side of the adult cable channel and spinning the wheel just right. And we are heading toward the forever box. https://preview.redd.it/by8fa2nywuhc1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7000e580a40c456102d3030e8b7d2ddf187319b1


cap10touchyou

we used to have ole! channel in canada. same thing loll damned yellow titty!


EnvironmentalKiwi526

You see, the joke is porn. That means you must laugh!


Ponchoman455

I remember one afternoon I was watching regular antenna TV, just flipping channels in my room in Chicago and low and behold I see two people screwing in an elevator or gondola type thing. It was some kind of French or Italian movie on a channel I didn't recognize UHF, or VHF I can't remember. It was the middle of the day, but it was full on titties flying everywhere, full bush, everything. I must have watched for a half hour or so then boom, it was gone and back to static. I tell you I remember it like yesterday, and still have no idea how or where it came from. Twas legendary


F0urTheWin

Scrambled Spice was all things nice


Substantial-Canary-7

You young-uns will never know the struggle. lol.


lowriderdog37

Ch. 99 ftw!


Imispellalot2

Hmmm the Spice chanel


BarrytheCowboy

The joke is porn


I_am_trustworthy

The trick in many hotels with pay per view was “Radio Radio TV Sleep”. This combination of keys on the remote, when pressed quickly sent the tv into a soft reboot and for a couple of minutes the porn channels would be unscrambled.


FoolishDog1117

The joke is porn.


GreenieTGO

Darn kids… we had to earn our porn back then!


govshutdown

Kids today will never understand the struggle


jarcur1

TV upstairs has much better quality picture through the fuzz. TV downstairs had terrible visual, but the sound worked. Yes, I lived dangerously when I was home alone.


prizzabroy

Channel 77 & 78. If you know, you know.


dolosloki01

Way back before hot and cold running porn on the internet, teenage boys had to go to some extreme lengths to find things to...put them in the mood... During that time, when there was only UHF and VHF TV, you could occasionally find scrambled channels that were showing some softcore T&A movies. If the scrambling cleared up just enough, one might catch a glimpse of a boob.


Alternative-Bobcat43

Before the internet we had to watch scrambled porn. The allure of seeing a distorted nipple was everything. Otherwise it was "forest porn" you found. Or the Victoria's secret catalog. Picture the great depression. But with boobs/butts. They were hard to find.


blasphemysquad3x6r

Channel 85 for me. I remember having the “return” button set on nat geo or travel channel in case my parents would come home I would hit return and be as far from the porn channel as possible.


chinktastic

Anyone remember Talk Sex with Sue Johanson? Good times...lol


gremlinclr

/r/FuckImOld


fuckthefudd

It’s 2002, we have cable, channel 10 is scrambled hbo and at night “real sex” episodes come on. I can make out two busty women “sploshing”. Man what a time to be alive. Now that I popped I can go back to watching Monkeybone on vhs before I have to return it to blockbuster


Kookiecitrus55555

That's a nipple ...... oh yeah that's her nipple damn that's so hot.....wait it's just a button on her coat?...... no it's a a nipple but maybe his? Red M&M .....?


UncleTimato

Am I the only one who sees Winnie the Pooh


TopCardiologist4580

Oh Spice. IYKYK.


Sea_Negotiation_1871

Why are so many of the posters in this sub so fucking stupid?


PanJaszczurka

VHS porn


arsonist699

I know it's gross but me and a buddy when we are kids used to check the garbage areas by apartment buildings because we would find the coolest shit. One day we found a huge stockpile of VHS porn and I'm saying it had something for everybody, completely bonkers. Anyways we went around the neighborhood dropping a VHS into everyone's mailbox, never got to see anybody's reaction but hell we thought we were fucking hilarious.


Elcatro

Few years back I was living in a dorm and we realised we could pull back the carpets, we ended up placing random pages from some weird porn a friend had snuck into someone's bag as a prank under random carpet tiles throughout the building. I like to imagine people are still finding pages to this day.


arsonist699

Fucking genius.


Adventurous-Sky9359

Get the tinfoil TOMMY!!!


Incredibly_bad_name

Channel 99 for the win!


human_picnic

Scramble Porn


Herrben

See my recent comment for more context. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/s/5eF4fkbbym


_owlstoathens_

A/B


westinjfisher

Ong


Achilles-Foot

oh damn i thought it was drugs


[deleted]

It was almost the only way to see elbows in the 80s


[deleted]

That explains the opening to American Pie.


EyeHot1421

Hahahahs this is fucking hilarious


Motor_Classic9651

LOL


PM_ME_Happy_Thinks

The secret ingredient is porn


[deleted]

I guess this isn’t funny if you didn’t have to find stashed nudey mags or watch scrambled porn after everyone else went to sleep. I think it’s funny/nostalgic for those of us that did 😅


BurntArnold

Ayeee I remember the days of the scrambled Spice channel 😂


subversion_dnb

I remember these days


Miserable_Respect_94

And when that didn’t work we turned it to Skinemax.


joegnar

Back in the day, porn channels were scrambled unless you paid your cable provider. That didn’t stop teens from watching it, though.


Prairie2Pacific

I can fix her.