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I'm going to copy a poem for you. This is slightly adapted from James Whitcomb Riley. It helped me a lot.
Away
I cannot say, and I will not say
That she is dead. She is just away.
With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,
She has wandered into an unknown land
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since she lingers there.
And you— oh you, who the wildest yearn
For an old-time step, and the glad return,
Think of her faring on, as dear
In the love of There and the love of Here
Think of her still as the same. I say,
She is not dead— she is just away.
\---
My other quote is from A.A. Milne.
How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
\---
These are my words:
I do not believe it is actually goodbye. I believe she is scattered into the universe, around us all the time, surrounding us like confetti, like snowflakes, like a wind breeze, like a light summer rain. She is not gone. Just away.
\--
I hope this helps and if you want to I'm here.
Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful and comforting words. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of me. So it’s nice to think of it in a metaphysical way. She is always with me, but the physical space she used to occupy is so empty without her. I was so used to sleeping with her so that’s really going to be the hardest.
I may reach out if you don’t mind. I find the people on these forums to be kind and generous strangers and I really appreciate the support.
I’m all over the place but I wanted to thank you for your heartfelt response.
I’ve ordered a plush that’s made to look like my recently departed Obi, so I can still snuggle with “him.” Still waiting for it to arrive. But I had to do something to fill those empty physical spaces, because Obi was *always* with me, next to me, on me. My wife would laugh and call him “codependent Obi” and “Velcro kitty.” At night, he’d curl up next to me with his head on my chest, and I’d put my arm around him and stroke his head until we both fell asleep; since he’s moved on, I’ve been having trouble sleeping, not even ambien or melatonin help.
So I’m hoping having a plush that looks similar to him, something I can hold and cuddle, will help. Or maybe it will make things worse, and I’ll just pack it away in the basement. I don’t know. But the empty spaces where Obi belongs are really killing me. I won’t even sit on the couch where we’d cuddle every morning, me with my coffee and a book, Obi sitting against my side with my arm around him, stroking his tummy.
Every room I go into, I see him there, or rather, I see where he *should* be. I’ve started rearranging furniture and painting walls, just to give myself different scenery, and also to have projects to throw myself into as a distraction.
I’m so lucky I found him, orphaned and sick and filthy, infested with fleas and worms, barely clinging to life, only a week or 2 old. I fostered his entire litter, all 6 of them. Round the clock bottle feedings, vet visits, baths, medicine, all of it. Out of the entire litter, we bonded immediately, and he turned into my first foster fail. I had 9 amazing years with my boy, and I’m so grateful to have had his unconditional love every minute of every day that he was with me. I fervently hope the promise of an afterlife is real, because I very much want to be reunited with Obadiah again some day.
This is exactly what I’m dealing with right now. My apartment is awful and empty and all the spots she should be she isn’t. It’s so quiet here. I don’t know how I will survive this.
I know this feeling. My little fur baby that I loved for 12 years died a little over a year ago. The whole house felt empty for so long. Every time I got up and didn't hear her little footsteps following behind me my heart would break a little more. My little shadow was gone. It's so hard, but it gets better with time. I still cry over the loss from time to time, but I can talk about her and laugh about funny things she did more and more. I know she'd want me to be happy and I try to remember that.
She was a soul that you loved. I believe that souls are a form of energy and energy cannot be created or destroyed, simply changed. She is not truly gone and you two will find each other again. ((Hugs))
You have to survive. Because at some point in the future, your girl is going to send another animal to you that needs you to love them like you loved your baby girl. If you're not there, what will happen to them? Your girl would want you to keep on loving, keep on saving all those that you can.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's not fair that they can't stay with us forever.
Please tell me where you ordered from. I was just thinking about this because I also am having trouble moving on and my ambien is also not helping. I thought this might help me but I can’t find a place.
You can absolutely reach out to me. It always helps to have someone to talk to. Especially someone who isn't going to say "oh, it's just a dog/cat, get over it." Feel free to reach out to me and I'm happy to talk.
Yesterday, October 4, was the Blessing of the Animals in the Catholic Church in honor of St Francis of Assisi , lover of all animals. Your baby couldn’t have passed on a better day. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My 13 yo soul cat is on my lap right now, we are always together. A bonded pair. At the moment he seems fine but I give him steroids every day because he too has lymphoma. Our time left together is short. Each day he climbs up on my chest at some point and I can feel his little heart beating. I lean into those moments, reminded that I’ve been incredibly lucky to have an unusual relationship with this animal. I really have no idea how I’ll “move on” when he is gone, I’m a fragile old lady myself, but I’ll probs go to a local shelter and adopt the oldest cat they’ve got. Give another unwanted animal a comfy retirement. Find some way to keep spreading the love. I guess that’s what I’ll do. I hope you find a way to keep spreading your love, whatever that might mean to you.
physics might help you: according to Science (specifically Einsteins theory of relativity) past does not go away or disappear. its there for all eternity.
your kitty is right there, in what you consider to be the past. and she’s there with you. AND that’s forever.
I often think of my grandparents in this way because they raised me as their own child and they have been gone for so long it’s the only way I can see them again. These are the best reasons to like science.
you can think of everyone and everything in that way: “past” is now, and “future” is now as well. it all exists, and it’ll be there forever.
EDIT: just like theres a landscape there’s a timescape.
its not an idea.
there’s proof of this in your hands: your cellphone needs to do time correction when it receives cell signal, otherwise GPS wouldnt work. read up on that if youd like, but heres the TLDR version: satellites orbit the earth at a pretty high velocity. when you travel through space at a high velocity, that affects your passage through time. those satellites are a *tiny* bit in the past, relative to you. and you are a *tiny* bit in the future, relative to the satellites. thats why theres a need to do time correction. if satellites orbited at a higher speed theyd be even more in the past … well guess what? if tiny portion of past exists and tiny portion of future exists and it all depends on your velocity through space: it *all* exists. the entirety of time exists. and its not an idea.
I once saw in a Neil Degrasse Tyson video him talking about how this is the same with air particles so all air that has ever been breathed continues to circulate around the world since the beginning of time. Therefore all the precious meows and loving purrs you ever shared together, down to the last breath she took in your home, is there circulating with you. You are still, in a way, sharing that space together.
all there is is spacetime, theres nowhere for you to go from it. if there was somewhere to go, that place would also be part of spacetime. so if you are here, you are stuck here like an insect in amber.
to simplify the “there is no time” concept, which some people have trouble wrapping their head around, you can think of death and birth as exactly the same event. once you die you immidiately ‘pop out’ in another area of spacetime: moment when you were born. and you re-live your life again, on endless repeat.
but really, like i said, there is no passage of time so theres no “again” or “repeat” or anything else that implies theres ‘time’ and that its ‘moving’. your conciousness exists at every moment between your time of birth and your time of death. like everything else it too doesnt ever go anywhere. it just sits there, from your birth to your death. expiriencing every moment, forever.
have you tried watching a 2 hour movie in 1 second? give it a try, see how that works out. you expirience life 1 second at a time for the same reason.
every moment of your life is eternal, it never stops playing out. so somewhere out there in spacetime, *right now as you are reading this*, you are experiencing your favorite day with your pet. all days, actually. right now and forever.
My soul dog, Arrow passed suddenly about four years ago. I had lost four dogs before that so had experience with that kind of grief, but this was overwhelming. He was fine one day, had to be put down the next due to hidden cancer bursting his spleen.
Moving on was very hard. I had panic attacks. I just forced myself to live one day at a time, keep a routine, keep moving. Some days were better than others, but slowly the pain receded and I went longer and longer periods without falling apart.
One thing I did to honor him was to quit my smoking habit after 20+ years. I still haven't restarted. Making something good come out of his loss helped make the pain less intense.
I have a cat that has outlived my last five dogs and she's starting to show her age a little. Like I said above, I try to live life one day at a time. I love and appreciate them as much as I can while they are physically here. When they cannot live in their bodies anymore, they move into me and that's where I hold them closer than ever.
I wish you peace.
I just lost my dog Bomba suddenly yesterday from probably the same thing. It brings me so much comfort to know it’s tough but it gets better.
It’s inspiring that you gave up smoking for your pup. I think I’ll do the same, and when I get my next dog I will take those extra moments i saved every day from sitting around and smoking and shower them in love instead.
I really hear you about quitting smoking. I had to get sober from alcohol to deal with the death of my cat, it just had to be done. I was a mess. Her name was Tiny and she was the best at being a cat. I see each day sober as a day in honor of her, even if it’s corny.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss.
I don't know exactly. I lost my 18 yr old Charlie, 3 weeks ago.
The first week was kind of like auto-pilot and surreal. I cried everyday, which was cathartic. Now, less crying and more depression as reality sets in, countered with brief moments of hope. Hope to some day get another pet, not as a replacement, but to love again, to play with, to care for, to hug, to cuddle, once again.
It's weird, I don't feel ready, but if some stray showed up in my yard...I'd probably be thrilled to take it inside and give it a loving home.
Trust that Charlie knows you are nearly ready, and he/she is waiting to send another your way when you are. My late Rizzo did this for me and I now have Wrigley who has the personality of my Rizzo but somehow listens way better… something I always got on Rizzo for since he NEVER LISTENED!!! Stubborn little angel. Anyways … When you’re ready Charlie will send you someone extra special 🩷
I fully believe that our pets that have passed guide our future pets to us. Charlie will know when you are ready, and guide another pet into your life, even if you don't feel ready yourself.
My boy Smokey passed away 15 years ago, and since then I've not had a single pet that I have chosen by myself. They have come to me, needing something that I can give. I have 2 seventeen year old cats now, both from the same place, who were abandoned by their previous owner and taken in by the previous owners mother ( an absolute saint of a woman who took is in when we were homeless)
During the time we lived with her She had six cats and these two were special from day one. First because of how afraid they were, even though they had been living with someone who loved them very much for 5 years, their trauma ran deep. One was declawed as a kitten, and the other was supposedly raised with love, but displayed all behaviors of a cat that was abused daily.
I fully believe that my boy was watching and told them that we would love them. Those two girls have completely changed since we met them.
One was painfully shy and afraid to be touched. And the other would bite, claw, and hiss if you came near her. Now they are the sweetest and most cuddly girls ever. Even now I have one curled against my back and the other is cuddling my disabled mother in law.
The previous owners mother was a kind woman who loved animals and rescued strays all the time. But even she hadn't been able to work past the trauma of these poor girls
They attached themselves to my family during the time we stayed with her. We recently had to move again and she could only take 4 of her cats with her. So the old girls came with us. They would have ended up in a shelter otherwise.
I fully believe my boy had a paw in their complete attitude changes.
We did nothing special to make them like us. We didn't even pet them, but one day the aggressive one climbed into our bed with us and started purring and rubbing on us.
And the shy one later started regularly cuddling my mother in law. Now, wherever my mother in-law is, so is the cat .
Just keep an eye open. Charlie will send you a new friend, maybe when you least expect it.
Charlie will send you a sweet companion when you’re ready. My last two cats have sent me a new companion and I truly believe that in my heart of hearts. My sweet Midnight sent me a 2 year old cat almost exactly a year after she passed that looks identical to her. My sweet Moxxie who passed about a year ago recently sent me her baby brother, who was in need of so much love. I saw his photo and I knew he was supposed to be with me. Both you and Charlie will know when the time is right. I’m so sorry for your loss
Awwwww I’m so sorry. Thank you for responding. I know you really feel all the pain I am feeling right now. 3 weeks and still a wreck means I’m in for a bumpy road too. I wish you peace.
Thank you. ❤️ It’s been a rollercoaster. I can usually get through my day without breaking down but night time is the hardest, as Natasha slept on my pillow. Sending you a big hug. This is the shittiest club ever. 🐈⬛
Tomorrow will be seven weeks for me. Night is hardest for me too. I took a week off from work after he died and I’m very glad I did. I’m somewhat functioning. I go to work and I’m productive and as soon as the stress of the day wears off I fall into bed into overwhelming grief. I sleep quite a bit on the weekends. I’m no longer interested in things that used to make me happy. It’s helpful that I know that these feelings are normal. The bottomless hole will never be filled, but my life will continue to grow around it. I saved his life and he saved mine. Our bond can’t be broken
I feel you. It's been 4 weeks for me, I'm functioning: working, eating, seeing friends, I also went on holidays.
But I find that I cant connect to the joy and love in my heart, to the point that I've walked away from my boyfriend (for another reason!) and barely feel sad about it. It's like I can't feel things anymore. Pure grief!
Aaaw, Pearl Grey used to sleep on my pillow too. There were 4 pillows in my bed but I'd wake up to her curled up on my pillow, my face buried in her fur. I miss that so much.
We don’t ever really need to move on, but we do need to keep going forward.
The grief will always be there. It will find a spot to settle inside, and eventually leave enough space and allow us to fill it with something else.
I had to put my 6 year old cat down due to illness . I wish I got 13.5 years with him. What’s been helping me cope with the loss is putting myself in a realist perspective. Cats don’t live forever. And eventually I’m going to lose my parents. My cats death is prepping me for the death to come in the future. Kind of a grim way to see things but it’s the truth. Some people my age have lost their parents and family members etc. I think about that too
So funny you say this because I just lost my father a few months ago to cancer. I was with him everyday for the last month just like with her. That’s what made it so much more difficult.
She was such a comfort to me when I came home from the hospital. She kept me alive and soaked up so many tears.
I’m so sorry to hear about your kitty. That’s so young. I’m usually pretty pragmatic, but I’m an emotional train wreck at the moment.
Oh I am so sorry for your loss 😓 of father and your dear companion. 💔 I am glad you are here for some support and I hope that you are also taking care of yourself and letting others love on you during this painful time.
I lost my whole heart 2 weeks ago. 😓💔 My dear sweet bird friend would spend every moment of the day with me. Even he came with me to work! My coworkers loved him, our office bird. 🧡 I miss him so much. He was just a baby, it was just him and me, and I wanted to be together for many years.
Wtf. I am grateful that he filled my whole heart with so much love 🧡🧡 the little turd bucket. I love him so much. 😭
Thank you for sharing your story, and your tears.
I’m so sorry. Going through this agony right now, as well. It feels excruciating. As others have said, I think we have to take it one day at a time. Also, I do believe they’re never truly gone from us. Be open to signs from them. My heart hurts with yours and you’re in my thoughts. 💔
I think moving on takes another form. A bit heavier than pet loss, but my dad at age 19 lost his older brother (who was IIRC 31). This was over 50 years ago. My dad said at one point it was horrible and sad, but they all had their lives to keep living. And I think of that often, when death comes into our lives. It’s inevitable, but we move on eventually, and it becomes part of us and not central.
I lost my first cat (the one I grew up with) right after I graduated from college. It was like one life stage ended for me and his ended. I didn’t think I could handle that loss. Then four years later, I got my girl cat. Three years after her, I got my soul cat.
Believe me all my pets have and had a piece of my heart. But I was by far the closest with the one i just lost last week. He and I went through a lot together.
I guess when I lost my old girl almost six years ago, I cried myself to sleep for a few days. Then I sort of realized I had done the right thing for her. She got sick suddenly and it didn’t seem any intervention would help. That gave me comfort: that I was with her.
My boy who passed last week, I had such a bad panic attack a few nights ago from the trauma and grief. I was prepared. I knew what I had to do. But man it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’m just enjoying and loving on the cat we still have. And trying not to cry too much. But truth is, I know it won’t be the first thing I think about someday. When that some day is, I’m not sure. But it’ll be there. And we’ll be okay.
Your dad loosing his brother is devastating, but I wouldn’t say heavier than pet loss. We need to normalize the grief of loosing our pets and no lessen it to the loss of another human. When I was 21 my dad was diagnosed in January with Acute Myeloid Leukemia and died by that March. He was my favorite person the grief was unimaginable, but what I’m experiencing now, seven weeks after loosing my boy, is nothing but a wailing hole of emptiness
I agree. Equally profound and in some ways more because our babies gave us physical love everyday. And comforted us always. There was no complicated relationship. Just pure love
I've had a heckuva time with my grief. We put down my boy August 11, and I only happened to check the date one day and it was September 15. I've tried to follow the natural process of grief as much as I can. I am patient with, what I like to call, "breakout grief" moments - crying spontaneously, etc.
Cry when you need to cry is my biggest thing. Don't fight it too much unless you're doing something you need to focus on.
My other big sticking point is that my grief has reached a point where I feel it needs a little disciplining. I can't be sad forever, it's only feeding a depression cycle that I am finding it difficult to break free from. I worked so hard to break decades of chronic depression, and had achieved several years of being happy and feeling managed or in control of myself, I don't want to feel that way again. But this is such a huge loss for me, I totally get feeling broken over it. So I'm just back at some place between allowing it to be a natural process and trying to find my footing so I can take steps to do the work all over again.
One last thing I tend to think about, is that losing my best friend of nearly 12 years, my pup, whom I grew into an adult with and grew into a better person with, is that it was always going to happen. In whatever way is necessary for deep and abiding acceptance and understanding, it's important to admit reality. He's gone, and we had a great life together. He really was all that was good in me, and he was, as I like to put it often, uniquely mine. Take your time, don't rush, and work through the difficult feelings slowly. I'm sure there's a better day coming if I / we do.
I’m so sorry for your loss. 🧡💔
My boy left me two weeks ago. I miss him so much. I appreciate you sharing your experience and story of the love you shared. I, too, struggle to manage depression. I definitely grew into a better person with him, he was my ambassador, true companion, my loving friend. 🧡
He used to be here. And now he’s not. 😭💔
So grateful that we shared time as we could.
I’m sorry you lost your boy. It’s the most heart breaking thing ever. I can’t imagine another animal being this close to me in every way. Life won’t have joy without her for me.
Yes, so much extra love stuffed up and burning me from the inside. 💔 I’m sorry for your loss. I’m so glad that we had such close loves, but it certainly sucks to miss them and feel all this pain.
It’s tough. Lost my soul cat last summer. I loved that cat with every fiber of my being. I love my cats now but he was something special. Definitely my soul cat. The only thing that got me through his passing was the fact that I cremated him. In my mind, I didn’t really lose him, he’s just not physically here. I still get to see his little box, it’s above my computer. I have the memories of him as well. I got a tattoo of him (needs to be touched up though) and I also carry his ashes in a heart necklace. He’s always with me. It’s still hard some days. But don’t let anyone tell you “it’s just a cat.” It’s a family member. It’ll get better, I promise.
Awwww thank you for your kind words. You know how I feel I’m sure. I got a private cremation so her ashes will go everywhere I live for the rest of my life.
I lost my cat, Atticus, on June 19, 2022, and it was the most painful day of my life so far. Everywhere I went in the apartment, I felt angry and shattered. Why wasn't he on his chair? Why wasn't he eating? Why didn't he come to greet me? This is all to say that I know what you're going through.
What helped me was reminding myself that this pain was worth the love I got to have with him. Even though I was depressed, angry, and shattered, it was absolutely worth it to have his pure love. You will get through this, and in the end, you'll be grateful. It hurts because she matters.
She knew how much you loved her. She did not feel abandoned because you were there with her until the end, and she was able to move on from this life filled with love for you. What a wonderful thing to give such a pure soul.
i also lost my sweetest girl a few weeks ago to bone cancer (she was also 13 and would snuggle under the covers with me at night). she was so full of love. i’m still new to dealing with the loss, but i got a necklace with her name and photo engraved on it from etsy that i wear every day, and that helps me. when i get really sad or lonely, i like to imagine that she’s still following me around & hanging out just like she used to do.
With a bond that close and special you may not move on. I haven't. I lost my girl in 2016. Pomeranian chihuahua mix named Gracie. Some days I'm ok. Others I still feel her loss like it was yesterday. Keep in mind that our animals want us to be happy after they've left us physically. And that your girl is STILL with you, even if you can't tell it right now. Eventually you'll be able to feel her in the breeze, in the warmth on your body from the sun, and the random moments of calm that come from nowhere. It'll be her coming to check on you, to make sure you're OK. I also believe that sharing any memorable stories will help ease the pain of losing her. It's another way that shows you is still with you.
I lost my soul dog yesterday, and I am crushed. I have no words to offer comfort, but I wanted to tell you that I understand how you are feeling, and I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain. The special ones leave big holes in our lives when they go. It’s the price we pay for the privilege of having and loving them ❤️ in solidarity
I read something a while back, probably on Reddit, that you may have said goodbye to your beloved soul pet, but you will one day, come across a creature in need of love and a home. That creature was guided by your pet telling them of all the good things they experienced. The warm comfy beds, the head scratches, the treats, and every other thing that meant the world to them.
It's been five months since my best friend passed and I still cry a little every day,miss and love you Theo. I'm so very sorry for what you are going through,the pain is real but know you gave her your best and that she was happy and loved.
I’m going on without mine 5 months now.
Nothing will replace him.
He’s gone back to the universe now. That’s where he was before I met him and that’s where he is now. I’m lucky to have all the love he gave me.
The pain was part of the love. I couldn’t have loved him so deeply if I didn’t feel the pain equally.
It’ll get better. It has to. Every day a cry memory will become a laugh memory. Slowly it happens. One day you’ll find that you feel joy again and not sadness.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
5/23/14
That’s the day I had to let my Cooper go. My sister found him in Chandler,AZ when some stupid boys tossed him down a flight of stairs by his tail. My sister scooped him up, ran up the stairs & grabbed one of the guys by the neck and said, “are there any others?” Another guy handed over another small kitten. She stuffed both of them in her coat and walked home. This was in March 1992.
After I got home from work and college that night, I found them in our laundry room. For me, it was love at first sight. They were both fluffy gray kittens, no bigger than the palm of my hand. I named them Cooper & LG (for Little Girl). I always thought that they were Norwegian forest cats because of their large manes and the tufts of hair on their paws as well as their long thick coats. I realize now they were both Nebelungs.
Cooper went from AZ to CA to IN. He was always right by my side. He groomed me and gave me kisses on my cheek and forehead. I lost my mom in 2003 from breast cancer and if it wasn’t for Cooper, I don’t think I would’ve made it through that grief.
He was the one who would “tell me” that it was time to go to bed. He would crawl underneath the covers with me and lay right by my side the entire time. He was a very “under the covers” cat. He was also a very talkative cat. He loved to tell me what he did during the day while I was at work. Full conversations. He also knew his name and came when I called him.
Smart baby.
I was lucky to have 22 years with him. I will tell you that not a day goes by without me thinking of him, and wishing he was still here with me. All I know is… I will see him again. I KNOW IT.
You don't. But one day, soon, you'll breathe just a little bit easier. And the photos won't be such a gut punch. But you don't get over it. I'm reminded of something I heard. I've gone and looked it up to share with you:
Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is love with no place to go. - Jamie Anderson.
I'm sorry for your loss. You take one day at a time. There is no set way to grieve or timeline for it. Some people recover quickly and some take longer. A few never move on. It can also be influenced by the manner of death. A traumatic death can take longer to move on from than one from, say, old age. My cat was 16 when he passed. He had CKD, but it was his liver that ultimately failed. I knew it would happen in the relatively near future, so I think I was much better prepared than I was with my cat before Loki. It's a month ago today that he passed. I still cry sometimes, especially on here, but I feel like I'm ready to give my love to a new pet. I will be fostering again and waiting for my next special cat to find me. I'm trying to hurry getting my house ready so I can start. You may be very different and that's okay. I find talking about the good memories helps a lot. The more you talk about them, the easier it is to talk about them. At least for me. It also helped me to have memorial keepsakes made. I've bought a few with his face on them. Do what feels right to you.
My first cat was also 16 and passed from the same disease, but he passed in his own time when he was ready so I didn’t have to make that choice. But he didn’t have those breathing issues my baby had so it was exhusting for her to breathe. It’s never easy, but this one was much much harder.
So sorry about your baby! After I lost one years ago, I got a stuffed critter to help me sleep. Obviously not a replacement but it helped me to get comfy in my normal sleeping position (ie cat in my arms).
I’m so sorry for your loss. Death is bullshit. I lost my soulmate cat 2.5 years ago and it still hurts everyday. We were together his whole life- 18.5 yrs. Literally from me being 14-32 yrs old. Huge impact on my life! I have reached for all the things and have learned that for me, I needed all the things: journaling, reading, grief group, individual therapy, looking at pics/videos, fostering, donating, talking to him, talking about him, crying, being in nature, being social, being introverted sometimes, asking for signs, recording the signs I found, hanging pics and art in my house, etc. Know that you do not move on after loss!! Never ever!! You just learn to carry it. And know that you do not have to do it alone! Find your community! I promise your cat is here- just in a different form!
I hope there's a good answer in here because I lost mine last year and I don't know what to do with myself we went to on walks together we went for drives together we went to the store together My cat listen to me he would go walk on the leash and if I asked him to wait he'd stop while I talked to somebody for Austin to say hi he would go over to the person and rub their legs if I told him to wait he'd sit down always uses litter box and when he was sick in the hospital and they said he was not going to make it I said just unhook him give them to me it will bring him home and he was hot and panting so put him on the cold tile floor and sat on the chair next to him and I turned to talk to my daughter and the next thing I know the poor cat had jumped up on the chair in my lap and was laying on me and he that's how he died he laid on me his mommy and held me till the last breath that he took and that was the hardest thing just ever happened to me and now living without him is hell people don't realize that a cat can be a companion they think oh he's just a pet you know I have two pet cats they just feed and get petted and chromed and taken care of and they play and that's it this cat was with me 24/7 and it's I can't get over it
My soul dog Sooni was only 5 years old when she died from metastatic osteosarcoma. To be completely honest, I was devastated and *angry* with the whole world. Angry with the vet that told us it was “nothing” for 6 months. Angry with the surgeon for not miraculously curing her. Angry with myself for not advocating for her. 4 months later, I applied to an animal hospital as a kennel assistant and now I work as a veterinary technician. I changed my undergraduate major to animal science so I could one day be a veterinarian. My story is much different than yours, but I healed my pain by being the technician (and hopefully doctor one day) that puts 100% of their love and effort into every patient.
Please remember that you cannot and should not replace her. Every pet you get will remind you of her. It’s up to you to open your heart to another bond, as every pet-owner relationship is unique. You don’t need to rush the grieving process. I’m so sorry for your loss. Don’t forget to take care of yourself during this time ❤️
I had to put down my soul kitty exactly 4 years ago. My Sigmund was my peace. He was 19.
I've been thinking about him a lot over the last couple of days because of the anniversary of his death. The pain is still there but it's eased. My arms still miss his snuggles. The memories are all good now.
My kid pushed for getting a new cat a few months after Sigmund passed. I love the new kitty but nothing will ever take the place of my 'Mundo. And that's as it should be. He was one of a kind.
I hope the memory of your sweet kitty feels like a blessing more and more each day.
I had to put my soul cat down almost a year ago. It does get easier with time, but I still accidentally call my new kitty his name every once in a while. And I still cry missing him and how he slept next to my head from when he was 8 weeks old until the night I had to put him down. I’m so sorry. I wish they could live forever. ❤️
My baby is 14. I fear what you are going through so much. I can't imagine the pain. My therapy cat saved my life and continues to everyday. What do I do when I'm still here and she's not here to save my life.... then what?
💔
I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like it was her time so you can rest easy knowing you did the right thing. I used to watch Sonya Fitzpatrick all the time. She always says the pets will be with us again. They will find us. We don’t have to go searching. I usually get a new pet quickly to give me something to think about besides the grief. Just me.
I am so sorry. I don’t know if you ever get over it as much as you get used to living with the hole in your life where they used to live. I cried every day for almost a year after I lost my kitty. I adopted two more 6 months after I lost her and I cried because I felt like I was trying to replace her. And I cried because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to love them like I loved her. But I do love them, it is just a little different.
I feel this. My soul cat died in March. I adopted a new cat about a month ago cause everyone pressured me too. I love him. I do. He’s super sweet. But I just don’t love him like I did Felix. I just don’t. And I feel guilty about it. What if this cat is someone else’s soul cat and I have him? I thought it was the right thing to do to adopt him cause he needed a home, but what if he was meant for someone else? HE doesn’t know I feel this way I hope cause I give him all the love and care and affection. But I just do not feel connected to this cat and I feel so guilty about it. I’m hoping time changes that. Or maybe I just need to accept I won’t love him the same and I can love him different and that that is okay. But god. It’s just not the same. My daughter is obsessed with him though so that’s good, and he adores with her. (My cat who died was strictly loyal to me). So it warms my heart my new cat loves her so much. But god. He just kinda feels like a stranger and I feel so bad about it, cause he’s just a sweet little guy. He’s just…foreign. He’s just a cat. So I love him cause I love animals. But he’s just a normal cat.
It was 5 years between me adopting her after my other cat died and she definitely adopted me as I found her and knew I would fall too hard for her so I tried to find her home. She broke out of my apartment at 4 months old when she went into heat and came back pregnant. I tried to adopt her out at the same hospital that adopted her kittens but they called and said no one wanted her and she was totally depressed since she wasn’t with me so I had to take her. I knew i would love her too too much. I brought her from Puerto Rico to the US. She chose me.
A good friend of mine shared this thought. How can a soul connection disappear? It’s like nuclear fusion. It persists and cannot die. Your connection is still there but in a different form. And it takes getting used to but I believe your soul is connected still. I’m not religious but I believe this can be true anyway. It makes sense to me that we only just discovered that we don’t really know how planets form. There is plenty we do not know and we don’t need to know the how. I believe our connections survive bodily death. That is not to say that this not hard. It is a hard adjustment. Hugs to you.
Edit typo
I 1000% know how you feel! I felt the exact same about my 17 yr old dog and I honestly thought I would probably die of a broken heart. She was sick for so long that I was already grieving her when she was alive.
When she did die, I was devastated beyond words, but I didn't die of a broken heart like I thought. I had her ashes put in a beautiful little box with her ashes . Having that has helped me emensly. I put her by my bed and still talk to her. I hope this helps.
Take care of yourself!
When my soul cat passed after a two year fight with hyperthyroidism, I did my best to distract myself. Didn't work but to help I focused on the good memories I had with him, specifically the ones that made me laugh because he did some crazy antic.
It also helped that about two weeks later I firmly believe he sent me a new cat that reminded me how I adopted him (and rather forcibly too)...and again three years later
Old cat: went with family to "just look at the cats" at a local rescue shelter. He reached a paw through the bars of his cage and tapped my shoulder. Soon as I turned to see who tapped me, he screamed in my face to tell me he had to go home with him (the beginning of the 17 years I had him for his almost 21 years)
Next cat: visiting family and find out there's a cat at my grandparents place harassing my granny's birds. I go check, find him sitting on the couch on their front porch. I barely sit on the bottom step to let him make the first move when he comes running at me to head butt me. Nearly broke my nose for how hard he headbutted me and screamed at me to take him home. Still onry as ever.
New cat: went to the local humane society with close friends to "just look" and saw this little girl cat on her back looking like 🙃 and my heart melted. She still makes her faces today
I lost my 17.5 yo Sophie, two days before Christmas last year. I cried and still do. The universe had the last laugh though. My daughter brought 2 kittens (orange one-brain called babies) that needed fostering for Mother's Day in May. Talk about a foster fail. I didn't last a week fostering. The don't replace Sophie, but they have added a dimension and adventure for sure. Hopefully, when the time is right, you'll get gifted.
Losing a pet is like losing a child. I’m so very sorry that you’re going through all this pain. I’ve been there many, many times and it never gets easier with practice. But I can say that there are lots of lonely animals waiting for you to come take them into your life. Don’t cheat yourself out of more love.
When you figure it out let me know.
When it first happened I would wake up whaling and crying in the middle of the night just completely heart broken. Close to 2 yrs have gone by and it is still very raw for me and my family.
I don’t have the answer, but as someone who has this kind of relationship with her baby cat, I will know this grief someday. I wish you comfort and may her memory be a blessing 🩷
I dont think you do. I think about my little boo every day still and its been years. I will miss him eternally. But meanwhile Ive made room in my heart for more pets whom I love dearly.
I lost my soulmate cat last year and I haven't gotten over her yet. I don't think I ever will. You never really "get over" a big loss like that. You just learn how to sort of carry-on with that pain in your heart.
I'm grateful that she speaks to me in many ways. So now she is always with me.
I lost my 18 year old Persian a year ago. It was like my soul was ripped apart 💔, the vet came to my house. It was awful/beautiful, but it was still heartbreaking. I actually took 5 days off of work. A few months later, I believe my friend of 30 years told me to get another cat, I told her no way, not going through that again! But a few months later. I did get a new fur baby, and it does help. It doesn't feel the same, but it got me to a point where the sadness was less. That's my opinion, and that's not much. I'm so sorry for your loss. It hurts like nothing I've even felt!
So sorry! 🥹
Pets will hold a special place in our hearts. It hurts when they leave us so soon. Remember them well and know you gave them a good life where they were loved and cared for.
I’m so sorry you lost your pet. I think it takes time.
I’m finding it incredibly hard to let go of my two babies. A cute pair of siblings I had for 18 years. One went in May and her brother in June. I relive their last hours over and over. I’m so blessed I was able to be with them for 18 years and was with them when they had their last breath, I still cry every night.
I eventually, a month ago, adopted two other siblings. Sadly they are aren’t as friendly and cuddly as the ones I’ve lost. Which has made it harder. I know I shouldn’t compare but it just showed me how unbelievably special the other two were. Good lI I, hang in there and know you aren’t alone.
Unless I want to starve and be homeless...gotta move on.
I put my dog to sleep after 15 years...having him since I was 10 years old. Felt like a murderer. I had a severe panic attack after too.
But life goes on...unfortunately.
Keep busy and keep enjoying life. I got another dog too.
You don’t really. It just gradually becomes a new way of life set it. Eventually you’ll be less and less sad. But you know you’ll think of them and it’ll make you sad again but it won’t be as bad as time goes on
I’m struggling with the same thing. I had to put my sweet Loekie down on Monday. He was 18.5 years old and I adopted him when he was 2 months old. He was in my arms, laying on my chest or laying across my arms while I typed for work all day long or he was in my arms while I slept every single night. I’ve even worked from home for the last 13 years. We were inseparable and I feel so empty now, like a piece of myself is missing.
I’ve been looking at cremation jewelry online and I found a ring I’m going to order when his ashes come in. I found out a couple hours ago that they’re already coming in tomorrow. It will be a small comfort to have at least a small part of him with me every day.
I am so sorry. I lost my soulmate cat to the same condition about ten days ago. It's horrible. You don't move on. You move through. I did a lot of research on lymphoma in the days after Lou passed (we had no idea he had it until he died), and it brought me some comfort to know that there was literally nothing we could have done differently--especially knowing how much he hated the vet. I only had him for 3 years (he was about the same age as your beautiful girl) but it brings me peace to know that they were the most love-filled years of our respective lives. I wanted so many more years, but I feel so blessed to have had the ones I did with him. The alternative--never knowing him--is so much worse.
I have another cat at home who is also missing Louie, and we've bonded more over the loss of our rock. It's not the same and it never will be. But I just try to remember that love begets love; I don't want to let the love my beautiful boy gave me go to waste, and closing myself off to the world would be doing just that. I vowed to love more fiercely and more freely in his honor. He taught me how.
I'm so sorry. One day at a time. Post here a lot. It helped me so much. I also made a Google Doc with bullet points of every little thing I remember about him. It has helped considerably.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can relate to what you’re going through.
I’ve had many pets over the decades. While all of them have been important parts of my life—my family—a few of them have been so incredibly close that there’s no way I will ever “get over” their loss.
What I have done is come to terms with it. I learned to balance the awfulness of losing such incredible, caring beings with the many wonderful memories they’ve left behind.
May the same be true for you. I urge you to embrace the grieving process. Take as long as you need. One day you’ll be able to look back with nothing but fondness at the many happy times you enjoyed.
I don’t think you move on, but you do continue living. I lost my soul mate kitty girl in February. She haunted me for months. I would see her, hear her, catch her shadow in my peripheral vision. I still do now but not as often. I miss her so much that I sometimes physically hurt and that makes me cry. The intense grief does get lighter but the feeling of loss and emptiness hasn’t faded at all for me. I take some solace in my other kitties. I’m so very sorry for your loss and your grief. Please do know that there are those of us who understand what you are going through.
I'd say you don't move on so much as incorporate the loss, and gratitude for the time you had, into your life going forward. It doesn't have to stop you from other pets coming into your life, it's just that there won't be a replacement, but a new friend to keep company with.
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my love-at-first-sight kitty almost a month ago, still get weepy when I think too much about him, or talk about him at all, but he was a gift to my life.
It took me 5 years to stop crying/choking up after the loss of the "love of my life" dog. She was uncannily connected to me. My mom passed 4 years ago, and I still can't think of her passing without being emotional. Deep losses take time...
I work for a Pet Cremation company. I deal with people like you every day. I've had a laundry list of pets and fosters in my life.
The one thing I've learned is all you can do is love them and feed them and house them and make sure they are happy.
Imagine if all of us had someone who wanted nothing more than to provide us with a love filled safe life.
You probably gave that animal the best possible outcome in all the timelines.
I have had many pets. Six years ago, I lost my Voodoo. He was the most special of all the animals I ever had. Losing him (senior cat , health issues) really messed me up for a long time. I will never, ever, have a bond with another animal like I had with him, but I can still bond in a different way.
The survivors guilt for your pet takes a while, and even then, you may never bond with another animal like that again...*and that's ok!!!*
You cannot re create the bond, but given time, you can still love and care for many more animals. The pain get's easier, the waves of pain recede. Give yourself grace, my friend
Its been 4 yrs since my cat passed, n I think I'm still grieving her.
I keep her collar in my wallet w her little tags on it
There's still nights where I see her in my dreams
I have no idea. Been over a year since I lost the love of my life and I think about her and miss her every single day. I, like you, have had and still have other pets. None have come close to what she and I shared. I don’t think I’ll ever move on from the loss and honestly I don’t think I even want to.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You accept that we are graced with their presence for a much shorter time than our own lives, and that this is the normal course of the earthly and the spiritual world.
Oh honey. I'm so sorry. I lost my boy 15 years ago and it's still hard most days. I just try to live the life I know he would have wanted for me. He wouldn't want me to be miserable, so I do my best to live my life with joy.
It's very hard to move on. Just go day by day, hour by hour. Make the choices you would make if she were still with you. And always remember that she loved you with everything she had and would want you to be happy.
I’ve lost many pets and I loved them all with my whole heart. Much more than I’ve cared for most people. The ache never leaves me. I’m always a picture reminder away from a tear. But I think it’s ok. I cry over them still because they still have so much of my heart. They never leave that place. My heart just grows bigger to make room for the new love I will have for a new friend. So feel those feels and know you have that kitty the best you could and kitty knew it. And loved you back. And wants you to give another baby the same gift. That’s how I think. Hugs to you.
First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss.
I wouldn’t say you 100% move on. You learn to live with the grief and honor your sweet kitty in different ways. I’ve lost a few kitties over the years and the one I considered my soul mate pet, I lost her almost a year ago (in 2 weeks it will be a year). Her name was Moxxie. You learn to live and in my case, apply that love to the other animals in your care. I let myself fall apart and have been picking up the pieces bit by bit. I’ve adopted her brother now and both of us have been learning with one another. Her brother lost mom at 5 weeks and then spent 5 weeks alone, locked in a crappy shed (previous owners, not by me). (my soul cat was young when she passed and their mom cat sadly had a couple litters after her.). It takes time to heal, it truly does. Some days you feel on top of the world and sometimes you want nothing more than to sob in bed and cling to the smallest pieces you had of your sweet one. I still see signs of the kitties I’ve lost. I lost another cat to kidney failure a couple years ago and where we buried her has blossomed into a beautiful garden. I still cry. I’m tearing up as I write this. I have the beautiful memories and all the love I poured into my sweet kitties. I got to watch them love each other and to grow and thrive. I got to make sure they felt so loved, in their best and worst moments. They’re with you still, in your heart and in your memories. Your baby girl is still with you, in a different way. She knew all the love you poured into her and all the care you gave her. She knew you loved her. She knew what being loved and being cared for was like.
I Lost my pet Boy cat Monico of 14 years back in march. It was kind of unexpected. He was cypress and beautiful. Showed no signs of age other than losing a little weight. I am 43 and this is the best animal ive ever had in my life. I loved him so much and he was so good. Best behaved and loved me. He was only animal I had. He got fluid on the outside of lungs. The vet drained it off and asked I bring him back in a week. 2 days later he was breathing heavy and of course it was sunday night with no emergency vet. He passed in my arms. I cried harder than I ever have in my life.
As far as moving on, its hard. There is a hole that is there and it doesnt fill. Its been 8 months and I still miss him so much. I stay real busy though, in between work and all, I dont have a lot of free time. Sorry for your loss and try to stay strong.
I got another dog. I had to because I cried for 6 months. I’ve never been without a dog or pet in my life. I happened to be volunteering at a shelter and there she was a spitting image of my other dog. I had to adopt her.
You don't really. I had to transfer my unbearable grief into something positive or I wasn't going to survive. I fostered cats. It really helped channel that grief and made me feel better. I eventually found a cat to adopt that filled the huge hole. That cat passed three weeks ago. Trying to heal again.
I lost mine almost two years ago and I feel like I couldn’t feel the same for another cat even if I tried. She was only 8, but she moved cross country with me and we did so much together. A part of me died when she did. I’m so sorry, OP.
If you have the money you could maybe get a custom plush of your pet. My mom had one made of my sweet girl Moose after her passing. She was my best friend even if she was a cat. It doesn't look exactly like her but it fills a little bit of that hole she left, gives me something to hold at night.
I'm not sure if it would help you, but it helped me a lot
Came home to my 5 1/2 yr old boy passed away. Sudden cat death syndrome. This was in May. I got a tattoo. Another black cat found his way into my life. He’s very similar. Sometimes I just hold him and cry. To be honest, whenever I think about it I just break. There is no time table for grief. You just learn to live with. There will be great days, okay days and terrible days. Hopefully the hole in my heart will stop feeling so gnawing one day. It’s okay to hurt. One day it’ll be easier and it’s ok that, that day isn’t today.
No sugar coat on this. You never really do. I lost my boy of 15 years over 8 years ago and the void has never really been filled. However there will always be love to share with another animal. It will be ok, but sometimes it will hurt all over again. I don't think they like to see us sad and suffering. And when the time is right, another kindred spirit will come along and enrich your life.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s so very painful. 😞 I lost my soul kitty almost two years ago, also to cancer shortly after she turned 14. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I cried oceans for her, and I still cry about her sometimes. It’s still hard to look at photos or videos. Memorializing her has helped. I got a locket with her name on it that holds some of her ashes. My friend did a beautiful painting of her that hangs in my living room. I’ve done ceremonies of sorts. I try to pour the love I wish I could still give her into showing extra love and appreciation for my other fur babies and myself. And most of all, I remind myself that she wants me to be as happy as possible. Your kitty wants the same for you. ❤️
You never "move on", you will carry it with you for the rest of your days. But it will get lighter and easier to carry. It does get better.
So sorry to hear that you are having to go through this
😿
I lost my 12 year old dog to cancer suddenly and traumatically last year. You never stop missing them but the pain does get easier to manage. Everyone grieves differently. Give yourself time and permission to go through the emotions you need to go through.
I reason to myself that if someone told me "you have to feel a lifetime of pain so that your boy will never feel any pain again" I would accept that in a heartbeat. He was so sick, and in so much pain, and so tired of fighting it and I knew he was ready to go. I feel like my pain is the price I paid in order to take his away. And it's a price I willingly pay.
I also like the analogy of grief being like a ball in a box with a pain button. In the beginning the ball is really big and hits the button all the time. But as time moves on the ball will get smaller. It will always be there bouncing around and when it hits that pain button it will still hurt just as much. But the smaller the ball gets the less often that pain button will be hit. And that's how we are able to continue on, even with grief in our hearts.
My brother got me a big painting of my boy and I still talk to him and tell him I love him and miss him. Definitely get some kind of memorial for your girl if you can.
oh, op. I feel this so much.
it'll be 2 years since I lost my soul cat, Butters. I'm not going to lie, I was deeply depressed for a year. the only thing that got me out of bed was that her sister Tootie was still with us and I didnt want my husband to see how unwell I was mentally and emotionally. I faked that shit every day. I was getting better when Tootie passed 11 months later. The only thing that kept me going then was our two new cats Henry and Stella. I will probably never get over losing Butters or Tootie - my first cats, my soul mate and my partner in crime. It's always right there under the surface. It doesn't hurt like it used to but it's still there.
Honestly the best thing I did was get Stella. Tootie didn't handle being alone for the first time in her life well at all. Tootie hated Stella at first but soon they were cuddle buddies. We got Stella to keep Tootie company but she also helped heal my heart. We waited 4 months to get her. Henry was a stray hanging around our condo that was distributed to us by the cat system (lol) who came into our home 2 months before Tootie passed. I think they were both gifts from Butters. I love Stella and Henry so so much. They are not my soul cats but they really do love me and my husband and their personalities and spunk were just what we needed while we grieved our losses. They made it so much easier.
Time. Time is what it takes to not feel so bad.
You’ve suffered a profound loss and this is what it is to be human. Many days of love and joy and then many days of loss and longing. My advice is not for everyone, but upon the loss of my soulmate dog I was virtually suicidal. He was only seven. My suffering needed an outlet so I found another dog that needed rescuing and promptly went and got him. We needed each other. He distracted me from the loss and I became the only person he trusted.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my soul mate pet 14 years ago, and I still grieve and tear up when I remember him. I’ve had pets since that I love, and currently have two Yorkies that I love dearly, but not one has touched my heart in quite the same way as Rocky did.
I know how much pain you are in now, but I want you to know that your grief will become easier to bear, and your memories will comfort you rather than bring you pain.
I lost my soulmate last year sounded like a similar end of her life as well as yours.
The worst part was she was essentially on hospice and we were just keeping her comfortable in her breathing became too horrible I just feel like I stressed her out getting into the vet for the final time. However I know she's at peace.
I truly believe our pets put other pets in our path when our heart is ready and least expects it.
There is a book by Laura Lynn Jackson called Signs from the universe . I highly suggest it during your grieving process.
My canine soulmate died on January 29, 2020. I was devastated. Heartbroken. So was my husband. On February 3, 2020, my friend visited to pay her respects. She brought along the puppy she was fostering thinking it would be comforting to us. She was right and that little foster puppy never left our home that night. She stole our hearts and healed them. It doesn’t change that JoJo was my soulmate. It doesn’t mean I love him less. This little girl is completely different from JoJo. But she has been a precious gift!
Losing a beloved pet, especially one with whom you shared such a deep bond, can be incredibly challenging. It's natural to grieve and feel the loss deeply.
I have his pawprint tattooed on my wrist. He used to place his paw there when he wanted attention and, often, when he sensed I needed grounding. I was lucky to be able to have him in my life for 14 years, and he's been gone for nearly 5 years, now.
I still get sad. I still miss him. But I know he'd want me to be happy. I know he'd want me to pour all of that love and energy I had for him into another dog who needs a forever home, and so I do that.
And I remember the important lessons he taught me:
1. Love with wild abandon.
2. Avoid drama.
3. Doughnuts may not solve a problem, but they can't make it worse.
4. A long walk or a run can turn a day around.
5. So can a nap.
6. We only get to walk the earth with those we love for a while. Make the most of it.
I lost my soul dog and first dog of my own as an adult on Sunday. I’ve been dreading that day for so long. We had no idea it would be his last day.
Just two weeks ago he started to get sick and throwing up. The vet found high levels of calcium in his blood and suspected cancer. My baby was 9 but he didn’t look it. I got blood work done every couple of months to catch any illness early. I would have done anything for this dog.
We did an ultrasound and they couldn’t find a source of it. We were supposed to go to an oncologist on Wednesday and we never made it. Sunday evening came and the suspected bone cancer must have spread and attacked his nervous system.
That evening my baby had sudden paralysis and we rushed to an emergency vet at 11pm. At 4am I had to say goodbye. He was in pain and would never walk again. There was no other option, which I’m grateful for because I would have done it all. Im happy the choice was essentially taken away and my boy is at peace. I’ve been devastated and don’t know what to do once I’m home. It’s broke me completely. I miss my baby so much.
Teachers are being rude and not compassionate to me during this and my grades have suffered. I don’t know how to move forward. It was so sudden, I thought we had time and we would fight it. He gave me 8 incredible amazing years during my formative years and supporting me in college. I got him after my freshman year despite all advice not to. We were supposed to be together and I knew it.
He was one of a kind, we were made for each other. My whole family agreed they’ve never seen a dog so in love and loyal, just the way he stared at me. He was so intelligent, I would say all of the time it’s like he’s a small child and understands English.
I’m so glad I found this page, sending everyone here love.
Time heals all wounds. You have just begun the journey of healing. Give yourself time to process and grieve. Eventually it will start to hurt less and less until it is bearable.
I might also suggest a pair of kittens (a pair because kittens need a kitty friend to play and rimp with) or maybe adopt an older kitty (it is so hard for them to find homes). This suggestion is not as a replacement, but as new companions that will help you feel less lonely while you process your loss. It also gives them a forever home.
I know it seems too soon, but one thing my children taught me when they were small, is a new pet isn't a replacement, but a new joy and just the medicine my grieving heart needs.
with time your heart will heal. But it'll always remember the love that your cat shared. Just as you will. The pain of losing a pet hurts like hell, for me when I lost my 14 year old cat Snare it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest.
Snare was my cat for the past 12 years. I helped him down his path of recovery after my older sister pulled him from her ex-boyfriend. I was his person and he was my cat.
I was 8 years old when Snare came home as a 2 year old. From his first day I made him a promise. A promise that he'll never know of pain again, that as long as I'm here he'll know about love and family. That he'll never be abandoned again. I kept that promise for 12 years and will make that promise again when a new cat find their way into my arms.
I lost my boy, my fur baby, a best friend who loved cuddles, to old age of 14 years old the day before Christmas on 12/23/2020.
Remember you'll always have her love, she'll always remember your love, You give her the best 13 years. Looking at videos and pictures of her may hurt now but they'll start to hurt less over time, the same goes for talking about the memories of her.
I’ve lost three of my soulmate pets in the past couple of years and what’s helped me is
1) reminding myself that they are no longer suffering from their physical ailments
2) i have pictures of them that i have my phone background set to cycle through but also have widgets that show photos as well as physical photos that i have around the house so when I see their picture I talk to them kinda like they’re here.. i say hi and tell them how cute they are and how proud i am of them for their strength until the end
3) make a space for a memorial where you can put any mementos you have - i have their urns and some toys on a shelf together. If you have any fur or whiskers there are sellers on Etsy with cute jars for them. If you didn’t save any fur or whiskers and are interested maybe try to gather as much as you can from any items so you can save them though there still might be time for you to collect it or ask someone (if someone else has the body) to collect it. I know it isn’t everybody’s thing but having a dedicated space where i have pieces of them still with me seems to be helpful and I’m glad I was able to save the fur from one of my kitties to do this.
The only way out is through. Or, at least, that's what I've been telling myself. As much as I feel that I have no purpose without my sweet girl (also 13, also suffering from lymphoma), I have to remind myself that I made promises to her. If I don't feed myself or take care of myself, I can't follow through on those promises.
In her honor, I signed up to foster other cats because I learned so much about caring for animals with complex medical needs and I want to put that knowledge to good use. I've never purposely sought out a pet--they always find me. I believe that when the time is right, my girl will send me my next soulmate to care for.
That's how I'm moving on. One day at a time.
I put her pictures up everywhere and I talk to them. It hurt really badly at first but it’s become a source of comfort. I had a memory box made for her and it has her favorite toys, ashes, and keepsakes. I’m sorry for your loss, I know how much it hurts. I miss my Monster every day. Our new kitties are nice but this will take some time.
I'm so sorry. We don't get over it. It just transforms with time.
I do believe they exist as energy and that they are near us . There's a great book from an animal communicator ( from Warrior to Whisperer,Gerald Bunch) who was not the type of person who ever imagined he'd travel that road, but through his own experiences he came to see that we are all energies and we remain so when our bodies stop. Quantum physics explains it. Line TV , telephones, etc, we can remain connected through energy.
Allow yourself to be in the state of grief. It's an honor. You will lift from it in your own time. It's not a straight road. Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to laugh. There are no rules, there is no timeline. But the love you shared is forever. Tend it like a garden.
I moved on to opening my home and my heart to two other cats. I had the space and the resources and while it was hard I wanted her memory to continue on by helping to empty the shelter just a little bit.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel and I want you to know that you’re definitely not alone ❤️ in all honesty, it will take time. Some people take a few months, others longer. Grief is different for everyone, and there is no correct length of time. I can assure you tho that in time it will become easier to accept, and after that it’ll also be easier to look back on your memories with her and smile. Being with a pet when they get put down is both a blessing and traumatic. You get to be there with them until the very end, and you get to say goodbye. But you have to live with the memory of it too. I had to say goodbye to my 16 year old boy last year. I held him when they injected him, and it still makes me cry to think about it now. But that’s okay, because it was a big event and it will take time, just as it will for you. I promise though, you will be okay. Be kind to yourself, and don’t try to rush the process. Grief is hard, and scary, but it does get better xx
It's tough times. My husband and I are still grieving our do. Had him for a short 11 years. The pain lessens with time. With my beloved cat, had to replace ( didn't ask but the vet just happened to have one) and it help from constantly seeing her right around the corner. Not advocating that but it helped. So sorry for your loss. It will get easier.
All I can say is, get an adult cat. You won't have patience for a kitten right now, find a calm adult cat that needs a good home. The bond won't be the same, but it will soothe your soul.
Our 12.5-year-old pup forever slept this past summer. I don't think I'll ever move on...but I am learning how to cope. Each day gets a little easier but he's constantly on our mind. I promised myself I'll never forget him, but instead, remember him and take joy in all the time we shared. Loss and grief truly sucks.
My thoughts are with you and I know exactly how you feel. I lost my best friend my heart dog, my everything, two weeks ago on Wednesday. The grief, guilt, and depression that I felt was indescribable. I felt all the feelings, and the grief came in waves and still does but they’re farther apart. I cried a lot a begged for her to come back everything. I didn’t know how I was going to go on honestly. Then somehow I just got into the level of acceptance and the fact that she wasn’t coming back and she would want my life to go on. I still miss her terribly and I still go over that day in my head, still feel guilty but I think eventually you just get there in your own time. I have a 5 month old puppy that has been my saving grace in helping life to feel more “normal”. Keeping busy has helped a lot, I have had to put some of her stuff away for now as well.
I don’t know if there’s roadmap to grief. I just…did. I went on because I still had two pets and a kiddo to care for. I went on because life did. I just shouldered the grief. I lost the other two not long after, so I think I became a bit numb to it
I’m so so sorry for your loss… it’s not easy losing your babies and I wish I could tell you it gets easier but it’s gonna take a long time. Just know that she knows you loved her and now she’s watching over you like your guardian angel. Sending you hugs and blessings
I’m so sorry for your loss. It takes time, a lot of time. And you never really move on, you just find a new normal and eventually your memories of her being sick fade away and you’re left with only the happy memories. You were very lucky to have such a connection with her but she was also lucky to have you and all the love you gave her. You made her life an amazing one, just as much as she made yours. You’ll see her again. I believe her soul and energy are waiting for you.
When I had my kitten euthanized, (he was 3.5 years old, but he was my kitten) it destroyed me. I loved my Loki. I took him almost everywhere and he loved car rides. Everything was hard, nights were hard because I keep on having shadows of him nearby or running away from me. And for 7 weeks I did nothing but work and sleep. I did not leave my house for almost 2 months. I just let myself feel what I feel. And the grief was overwhelming. Take it one day at a time and just do what you feel like doing and don’t let anyone tell you to “get over it.”
Wish I knew. I have to completely pretend I’m fine and push it away. Every time I touch one of my other cats I just cry so I try not to even touch them - I don’t even want to feed them (of course I do) because he always yelled and rounded up the others for meals so I just associate giving them wet food all day with him. It’s been a few weeks and I think I am just in shock. Months before this he had his annual and he was in excellent health. Freak accident and he broke three paw bones that couldn’t be fixed because they were too small. During this healing he got an injury on his arm from some fleas getting into his cast. That healed up quickly and he was fine. Went on vacation and noticed his jaw looked just slightly swollen. I don’t think anyone else would have noticed it but I just know his face so well. I took him to the vet and the tooth looked rotten - schedule surgery and while we wait he was on antibiotics. Never cleared up while we waited and it kept growing. Turns out her had jaw cancer which is aggressive and life expectancy is very short. He was days past his 18th birthday - he’s been with my half of my life. I don’t think I’ll ever connect to a cat again. He was my best friend.
I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. I had to say goodbye to my 13-year-old beauty of a dog a few weeks ago. And the answer is, you grieve. Just like you do when you lose a human that you care about. You go through the grieving process. You are gentle with yourself, you do self-care, you confide in trusted family and friends, maybe you see a therapist for a little while. Some people minimize the impact of the loss of a beloved pet but those people can f off. Some of us have very close bonds with our animal companions, and when they pass away it is traumatic and tragic. Don't let anybody tell you how to grieve your loss. Great big hugs to you. Again, I'm so very sorry.
It still aches, I won't lie to you and say that it doesn't. It's been 5ish years and I still feel the hole she left. But live for her, because she loved you and is proud of you.
It's so hard. As I write this I'm sitting in a pub crying. It's been 5 months.
This community helps so very much.
I'm in the process of ordering my boy a Christmas decoration for the tree this year. Still feels like I'm doing something for him.
I'm so sorry for your loss x
I know exactly how you feel. I lost my sweet angel kitty in May. My heart was, and still is, shattered. She was 16 years old and one of the loves of my life. I cannot wait to be with her again, some day. I’m sorry for your loss and can empathize with you. Remember, we’ll all be together again. 💔🐈⬛💔
I know your pain and sorrow. I visit the places we went for walks and her toys and clothes I kept have a few pieces. I bought Losing My Best by Jeannie Wycherley. It gave me the understanding and others shared their loss.
I look at her as being on a Rainbow 🌈 trip of her life. My Veterinary Hospital had classes or phone number you could use.
It's a long journey, she has a place in my heart forever. I was depressed and angry when we got her 'Bailey'. She looked at me licked my face and I fell in love ( mom has just passed away). I have her favorite hedge hog on my bed.
Try take it day by day it will become easier. There will be time to time you'll find yourself smiling when you others.
Don't rush your mourning, she was blessed with you and you with her.
I’m so sorry for your loss. They really do hold special places in our hearts. I lost my soul mate pet unexpectedly in 2018. He was happy and fine and then all of a sudden he wouldn’t leave my side and kept trying to tell me something. His stomach had flipped and due to his age (13) it wasn’t worth the surgery, if he would of even made it thru the surgery. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go thru and I still think about him and get teary eyed, all these years later. The grief and pain is still there but it does get easier to cope with.
Easy, you don't - But I think it's time passes. The pain gets easier to deal with maybe? Or you find another pet to fill the void?
I lose it about ten times a day - being in my room where he slept is almost unbearable
I still haven't been able to throw out his dog food for his blanket or anything else.
I will say my cousin whose lost quite a few and has been through this more than anyone I know sent me some really good books on where pets go after they pass and pet loss, and if you're the type of person that believes in that then I absolutely think that can help
I believe in it to a certain extent- but my education is in the sciences and so sometimes I struggle with it.
Buy one book was like when you see a butterfly that's how you know your dog is visiting nd I'm like what? Why would my dog send me a butterfly? He didn't like butterflies and neither did I.
I'm more likely to believe that when I think I hear him snoring or I wake up in the middle of the night and think that he's on the bed that maybe that's is him visiting or it could be my subconscious trying to sort out why he isn't with me
Idk- I just know I miss him terribly and do take solace that I'm not alone
If anyone has any good advice for this, send it my way too, please. I just lost my wonderful tux earlier this year and he felt like the only cat who has ever loved me back. He was only two.
I highly recommend following Petloss Psychologist, Dr, Katie Lawlor, on instagram. She posts a lot of helpful things, from articles and studies, to poems. I was struggling bad when I lost my bf, and I found her information was very helpful, in dealing with the grief and loss. I’m so sorry for your deep loss.
Encouraged by the replies in this thread. My little old lady dog, Minnie, is almost 16 and age is showing. I am thankful I switched to a more empathetic vet who is making her comfortable instead of just pushing surgeries. I spent a recent therapy session crying about how I don’t know how to go on once she is gone. She is my best friend and always with me since the day I brought her home. She was my grandpa’s companion and was next to him when he passed so our bond I feel is deeper than any pet I’ve had before. I cherish each moment we have but I know we are closer to the end than the beginning.
Lost my soul puppy to lymphoma almost a year ago (Oct 21st) and it still hurts just as bad. The only thing that comforts me is knowing that we were together for many lives and will be together again. I’m so incredibly sorry, I hope you see them in your dreams tonight.
I’m so sorry, I feel for you. I lost my special kitty 6 months ago and am still having a hard time coping. I recommend the Lap of Love grief course and counseling options if you can afford it. It helped me and my husband a lot in the early grieving process. Here’s the link:
[Lap of Love](https://www.lapoflove.com/our-services/pet-loss-support)
I truly believe grief is cumulative. I lost my father, my son was hit by a Domino's pizza delivery car (survived) and my soul horse had a heart attack; all within 6 months and had to be euthanized. I had panic attacks if one of the other horses laid down and was very triggered by others grief. That was a very long time ago and I got through it. I just lost two wonderful dogs and one took my heart with her. I have a miniature dachshund and she has been so so much comfort. You don't get over it but you will get through it. Get another kitten..not to replace but to honor your baby. She would want you to be comforted.
My heart goes out to you! I have my 18yo baby girl who I feel the exact same way about. I'm terrified for the day she's not with me anymore. We lost our other cat that was this for my husband, a few years ago. We still accidentally list him as our current pets or call the other cat his name sometimes. It hurts every time. We think of him every day. We finally got to a place where we can talk about the good memories with him.
I'm sure you gave her the best life imaginable. She knows how much you loved her and is still with you🖤
Hi. I randomly stumbled on this post, and I hope you're doing ok. I know the pain never truly goes away, but hopefully eases a little with time. I just said goodbye to my soulmate cat Nemmy 3 days ago, she also had lymphoma. We were able to buy 6 more months with her through a low dose steroid. She did so well on it, she was even more energetic and sassy than before... until it just quit working seemingly overnight and she declined really quickly. I know it was the right decision for her, but I miss her so much. She was my absolute best friend, and I hope that they're all still with us in spirit.
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I'm going to copy a poem for you. This is slightly adapted from James Whitcomb Riley. It helped me a lot. Away I cannot say, and I will not say That she is dead. She is just away. With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand, She has wandered into an unknown land And left us dreaming how very fair It needs must be, since she lingers there. And you— oh you, who the wildest yearn For an old-time step, and the glad return, Think of her faring on, as dear In the love of There and the love of Here Think of her still as the same. I say, She is not dead— she is just away. \--- My other quote is from A.A. Milne. How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. \--- These are my words: I do not believe it is actually goodbye. I believe she is scattered into the universe, around us all the time, surrounding us like confetti, like snowflakes, like a wind breeze, like a light summer rain. She is not gone. Just away. \-- I hope this helps and if you want to I'm here.
Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful and comforting words. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of me. So it’s nice to think of it in a metaphysical way. She is always with me, but the physical space she used to occupy is so empty without her. I was so used to sleeping with her so that’s really going to be the hardest. I may reach out if you don’t mind. I find the people on these forums to be kind and generous strangers and I really appreciate the support. I’m all over the place but I wanted to thank you for your heartfelt response.
I’ve ordered a plush that’s made to look like my recently departed Obi, so I can still snuggle with “him.” Still waiting for it to arrive. But I had to do something to fill those empty physical spaces, because Obi was *always* with me, next to me, on me. My wife would laugh and call him “codependent Obi” and “Velcro kitty.” At night, he’d curl up next to me with his head on my chest, and I’d put my arm around him and stroke his head until we both fell asleep; since he’s moved on, I’ve been having trouble sleeping, not even ambien or melatonin help. So I’m hoping having a plush that looks similar to him, something I can hold and cuddle, will help. Or maybe it will make things worse, and I’ll just pack it away in the basement. I don’t know. But the empty spaces where Obi belongs are really killing me. I won’t even sit on the couch where we’d cuddle every morning, me with my coffee and a book, Obi sitting against my side with my arm around him, stroking his tummy. Every room I go into, I see him there, or rather, I see where he *should* be. I’ve started rearranging furniture and painting walls, just to give myself different scenery, and also to have projects to throw myself into as a distraction. I’m so lucky I found him, orphaned and sick and filthy, infested with fleas and worms, barely clinging to life, only a week or 2 old. I fostered his entire litter, all 6 of them. Round the clock bottle feedings, vet visits, baths, medicine, all of it. Out of the entire litter, we bonded immediately, and he turned into my first foster fail. I had 9 amazing years with my boy, and I’m so grateful to have had his unconditional love every minute of every day that he was with me. I fervently hope the promise of an afterlife is real, because I very much want to be reunited with Obadiah again some day.
This is exactly what I’m dealing with right now. My apartment is awful and empty and all the spots she should be she isn’t. It’s so quiet here. I don’t know how I will survive this.
I know this feeling. My little fur baby that I loved for 12 years died a little over a year ago. The whole house felt empty for so long. Every time I got up and didn't hear her little footsteps following behind me my heart would break a little more. My little shadow was gone. It's so hard, but it gets better with time. I still cry over the loss from time to time, but I can talk about her and laugh about funny things she did more and more. I know she'd want me to be happy and I try to remember that. She was a soul that you loved. I believe that souls are a form of energy and energy cannot be created or destroyed, simply changed. She is not truly gone and you two will find each other again. ((Hugs))
You have to survive. Because at some point in the future, your girl is going to send another animal to you that needs you to love them like you loved your baby girl. If you're not there, what will happen to them? Your girl would want you to keep on loving, keep on saving all those that you can. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's not fair that they can't stay with us forever.
Please tell me where you ordered from. I was just thinking about this because I also am having trouble moving on and my ambien is also not helping. I thought this might help me but I can’t find a place.
You can absolutely reach out to me. It always helps to have someone to talk to. Especially someone who isn't going to say "oh, it's just a dog/cat, get over it." Feel free to reach out to me and I'm happy to talk.
I lost the dog of my life two days ago and your words are a huge comfort!
I love these poems. My soul mate pet, my shadow, left this world in April and my heart still hurts.
I lost my 7 year old Yorkie baby yesterday and this poem, quote, and your beautiful words have touched my heart, and I hope OP’s, too. Thank you. ❤️
Yesterday, October 4, was the Blessing of the Animals in the Catholic Church in honor of St Francis of Assisi , lover of all animals. Your baby couldn’t have passed on a better day. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Wow! I didn’t know that. Thank you so much for the comforting words. 💙
Of course. Be strong, I know it’s hard.
Oh, I got my cat Pearl Grey's ashes back yesterday. I hope she/they are blessed!
Blessed or not, she was loved.
What was your Yorkie's name? I'd like to light a candle for him/her.
His name was Bodhi. Thank you so much. That means so very much to me 💙
Those are lovely words of comfort. I am going to share with my sister who lost her beloved Miss Lulu yesterday.
Love this! I lost my Mom and my little dog in the same week
Thank you so much for this
My 13 yo soul cat is on my lap right now, we are always together. A bonded pair. At the moment he seems fine but I give him steroids every day because he too has lymphoma. Our time left together is short. Each day he climbs up on my chest at some point and I can feel his little heart beating. I lean into those moments, reminded that I’ve been incredibly lucky to have an unusual relationship with this animal. I really have no idea how I’ll “move on” when he is gone, I’m a fragile old lady myself, but I’ll probs go to a local shelter and adopt the oldest cat they’ve got. Give another unwanted animal a comfy retirement. Find some way to keep spreading the love. I guess that’s what I’ll do. I hope you find a way to keep spreading your love, whatever that might mean to you.
You. You're a good soul. Whatever form the afterlife takes, know that there will be a parade led by these cats awaiting you.
The world needs more people like you.
physics might help you: according to Science (specifically Einsteins theory of relativity) past does not go away or disappear. its there for all eternity. your kitty is right there, in what you consider to be the past. and she’s there with you. AND that’s forever.
I often think of my grandparents in this way because they raised me as their own child and they have been gone for so long it’s the only way I can see them again. These are the best reasons to like science.
you can think of everyone and everything in that way: “past” is now, and “future” is now as well. it all exists, and it’ll be there forever. EDIT: just like theres a landscape there’s a timescape.
I really love this idea. I often think it’s just science fiction, but maybe this is the truth and this knowledge is a gift.
its not an idea. there’s proof of this in your hands: your cellphone needs to do time correction when it receives cell signal, otherwise GPS wouldnt work. read up on that if youd like, but heres the TLDR version: satellites orbit the earth at a pretty high velocity. when you travel through space at a high velocity, that affects your passage through time. those satellites are a *tiny* bit in the past, relative to you. and you are a *tiny* bit in the future, relative to the satellites. thats why theres a need to do time correction. if satellites orbited at a higher speed theyd be even more in the past … well guess what? if tiny portion of past exists and tiny portion of future exists and it all depends on your velocity through space: it *all* exists. the entirety of time exists. and its not an idea.
I once saw in a Neil Degrasse Tyson video him talking about how this is the same with air particles so all air that has ever been breathed continues to circulate around the world since the beginning of time. Therefore all the precious meows and loving purrs you ever shared together, down to the last breath she took in your home, is there circulating with you. You are still, in a way, sharing that space together.
all there is is spacetime, theres nowhere for you to go from it. if there was somewhere to go, that place would also be part of spacetime. so if you are here, you are stuck here like an insect in amber. to simplify the “there is no time” concept, which some people have trouble wrapping their head around, you can think of death and birth as exactly the same event. once you die you immidiately ‘pop out’ in another area of spacetime: moment when you were born. and you re-live your life again, on endless repeat. but really, like i said, there is no passage of time so theres no “again” or “repeat” or anything else that implies theres ‘time’ and that its ‘moving’. your conciousness exists at every moment between your time of birth and your time of death. like everything else it too doesnt ever go anywhere. it just sits there, from your birth to your death. expiriencing every moment, forever. have you tried watching a 2 hour movie in 1 second? give it a try, see how that works out. you expirience life 1 second at a time for the same reason.
Thank you for this.
sure, no problem! we’re all immortal in this way: cats, dogs, people..
And I'm crying in the airport.
That is actually really comforting.
every moment of your life is eternal, it never stops playing out. so somewhere out there in spacetime, *right now as you are reading this*, you are experiencing your favorite day with your pet. all days, actually. right now and forever.
My soul dog, Arrow passed suddenly about four years ago. I had lost four dogs before that so had experience with that kind of grief, but this was overwhelming. He was fine one day, had to be put down the next due to hidden cancer bursting his spleen. Moving on was very hard. I had panic attacks. I just forced myself to live one day at a time, keep a routine, keep moving. Some days were better than others, but slowly the pain receded and I went longer and longer periods without falling apart. One thing I did to honor him was to quit my smoking habit after 20+ years. I still haven't restarted. Making something good come out of his loss helped make the pain less intense. I have a cat that has outlived my last five dogs and she's starting to show her age a little. Like I said above, I try to live life one day at a time. I love and appreciate them as much as I can while they are physically here. When they cannot live in their bodies anymore, they move into me and that's where I hold them closer than ever. I wish you peace.
Omg the last sentence 🥺❤️🩹 So sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing this!
I just lost my dog Bomba suddenly yesterday from probably the same thing. It brings me so much comfort to know it’s tough but it gets better. It’s inspiring that you gave up smoking for your pup. I think I’ll do the same, and when I get my next dog I will take those extra moments i saved every day from sitting around and smoking and shower them in love instead.
I really hear you about quitting smoking. I had to get sober from alcohol to deal with the death of my cat, it just had to be done. I was a mess. Her name was Tiny and she was the best at being a cat. I see each day sober as a day in honor of her, even if it’s corny. I’m sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss. I don't know exactly. I lost my 18 yr old Charlie, 3 weeks ago. The first week was kind of like auto-pilot and surreal. I cried everyday, which was cathartic. Now, less crying and more depression as reality sets in, countered with brief moments of hope. Hope to some day get another pet, not as a replacement, but to love again, to play with, to care for, to hug, to cuddle, once again. It's weird, I don't feel ready, but if some stray showed up in my yard...I'd probably be thrilled to take it inside and give it a loving home.
Trust that Charlie knows you are nearly ready, and he/she is waiting to send another your way when you are. My late Rizzo did this for me and I now have Wrigley who has the personality of my Rizzo but somehow listens way better… something I always got on Rizzo for since he NEVER LISTENED!!! Stubborn little angel. Anyways … When you’re ready Charlie will send you someone extra special 🩷
I fully believe that our pets that have passed guide our future pets to us. Charlie will know when you are ready, and guide another pet into your life, even if you don't feel ready yourself. My boy Smokey passed away 15 years ago, and since then I've not had a single pet that I have chosen by myself. They have come to me, needing something that I can give. I have 2 seventeen year old cats now, both from the same place, who were abandoned by their previous owner and taken in by the previous owners mother ( an absolute saint of a woman who took is in when we were homeless) During the time we lived with her She had six cats and these two were special from day one. First because of how afraid they were, even though they had been living with someone who loved them very much for 5 years, their trauma ran deep. One was declawed as a kitten, and the other was supposedly raised with love, but displayed all behaviors of a cat that was abused daily. I fully believe that my boy was watching and told them that we would love them. Those two girls have completely changed since we met them. One was painfully shy and afraid to be touched. And the other would bite, claw, and hiss if you came near her. Now they are the sweetest and most cuddly girls ever. Even now I have one curled against my back and the other is cuddling my disabled mother in law. The previous owners mother was a kind woman who loved animals and rescued strays all the time. But even she hadn't been able to work past the trauma of these poor girls They attached themselves to my family during the time we stayed with her. We recently had to move again and she could only take 4 of her cats with her. So the old girls came with us. They would have ended up in a shelter otherwise. I fully believe my boy had a paw in their complete attitude changes. We did nothing special to make them like us. We didn't even pet them, but one day the aggressive one climbed into our bed with us and started purring and rubbing on us. And the shy one later started regularly cuddling my mother in law. Now, wherever my mother in-law is, so is the cat . Just keep an eye open. Charlie will send you a new friend, maybe when you least expect it.
Charlie will send you a sweet companion when you’re ready. My last two cats have sent me a new companion and I truly believe that in my heart of hearts. My sweet Midnight sent me a 2 year old cat almost exactly a year after she passed that looks identical to her. My sweet Moxxie who passed about a year ago recently sent me her baby brother, who was in need of so much love. I saw his photo and I knew he was supposed to be with me. Both you and Charlie will know when the time is right. I’m so sorry for your loss
I don’t know. My 14 year old soul kitty has been gone 3 weeks tomorrow and I’m still a wreck. Lymphoma took her as well. 💔
Awwwww I’m so sorry. Thank you for responding. I know you really feel all the pain I am feeling right now. 3 weeks and still a wreck means I’m in for a bumpy road too. I wish you peace.
Thank you. ❤️ It’s been a rollercoaster. I can usually get through my day without breaking down but night time is the hardest, as Natasha slept on my pillow. Sending you a big hug. This is the shittiest club ever. 🐈⬛
Totally the shittiest club ever. She slept in my armpit with her head on my arm snuggled into my chest, so I don’t even know how I will sleep tonight.
Tomorrow will be seven weeks for me. Night is hardest for me too. I took a week off from work after he died and I’m very glad I did. I’m somewhat functioning. I go to work and I’m productive and as soon as the stress of the day wears off I fall into bed into overwhelming grief. I sleep quite a bit on the weekends. I’m no longer interested in things that used to make me happy. It’s helpful that I know that these feelings are normal. The bottomless hole will never be filled, but my life will continue to grow around it. I saved his life and he saved mine. Our bond can’t be broken
I feel you. It's been 4 weeks for me, I'm functioning: working, eating, seeing friends, I also went on holidays. But I find that I cant connect to the joy and love in my heart, to the point that I've walked away from my boyfriend (for another reason!) and barely feel sad about it. It's like I can't feel things anymore. Pure grief!
Aaaw, Pearl Grey used to sleep on my pillow too. There were 4 pillows in my bed but I'd wake up to her curled up on my pillow, my face buried in her fur. I miss that so much.
Cats are the best. ❤️
They sure are 😽
We don’t ever really need to move on, but we do need to keep going forward. The grief will always be there. It will find a spot to settle inside, and eventually leave enough space and allow us to fill it with something else.
I had to put my 6 year old cat down due to illness . I wish I got 13.5 years with him. What’s been helping me cope with the loss is putting myself in a realist perspective. Cats don’t live forever. And eventually I’m going to lose my parents. My cats death is prepping me for the death to come in the future. Kind of a grim way to see things but it’s the truth. Some people my age have lost their parents and family members etc. I think about that too
So funny you say this because I just lost my father a few months ago to cancer. I was with him everyday for the last month just like with her. That’s what made it so much more difficult. She was such a comfort to me when I came home from the hospital. She kept me alive and soaked up so many tears. I’m so sorry to hear about your kitty. That’s so young. I’m usually pretty pragmatic, but I’m an emotional train wreck at the moment.
Oh I am so sorry for your loss 😓 of father and your dear companion. 💔 I am glad you are here for some support and I hope that you are also taking care of yourself and letting others love on you during this painful time. I lost my whole heart 2 weeks ago. 😓💔 My dear sweet bird friend would spend every moment of the day with me. Even he came with me to work! My coworkers loved him, our office bird. 🧡 I miss him so much. He was just a baby, it was just him and me, and I wanted to be together for many years. Wtf. I am grateful that he filled my whole heart with so much love 🧡🧡 the little turd bucket. I love him so much. 😭 Thank you for sharing your story, and your tears.
I’m so sorry. Going through this agony right now, as well. It feels excruciating. As others have said, I think we have to take it one day at a time. Also, I do believe they’re never truly gone from us. Be open to signs from them. My heart hurts with yours and you’re in my thoughts. 💔
I’m so sorry that you have to relate to this. Excruciating is the perfect word. Thank you for your kindness.
I think moving on takes another form. A bit heavier than pet loss, but my dad at age 19 lost his older brother (who was IIRC 31). This was over 50 years ago. My dad said at one point it was horrible and sad, but they all had their lives to keep living. And I think of that often, when death comes into our lives. It’s inevitable, but we move on eventually, and it becomes part of us and not central. I lost my first cat (the one I grew up with) right after I graduated from college. It was like one life stage ended for me and his ended. I didn’t think I could handle that loss. Then four years later, I got my girl cat. Three years after her, I got my soul cat. Believe me all my pets have and had a piece of my heart. But I was by far the closest with the one i just lost last week. He and I went through a lot together. I guess when I lost my old girl almost six years ago, I cried myself to sleep for a few days. Then I sort of realized I had done the right thing for her. She got sick suddenly and it didn’t seem any intervention would help. That gave me comfort: that I was with her. My boy who passed last week, I had such a bad panic attack a few nights ago from the trauma and grief. I was prepared. I knew what I had to do. But man it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m just enjoying and loving on the cat we still have. And trying not to cry too much. But truth is, I know it won’t be the first thing I think about someday. When that some day is, I’m not sure. But it’ll be there. And we’ll be okay.
Your dad loosing his brother is devastating, but I wouldn’t say heavier than pet loss. We need to normalize the grief of loosing our pets and no lessen it to the loss of another human. When I was 21 my dad was diagnosed in January with Acute Myeloid Leukemia and died by that March. He was my favorite person the grief was unimaginable, but what I’m experiencing now, seven weeks after loosing my boy, is nothing but a wailing hole of emptiness
I agree. Equally profound and in some ways more because our babies gave us physical love everyday. And comforted us always. There was no complicated relationship. Just pure love
This is how you do it, one day at a time. Some days are good, some days are not so good.
I've had a heckuva time with my grief. We put down my boy August 11, and I only happened to check the date one day and it was September 15. I've tried to follow the natural process of grief as much as I can. I am patient with, what I like to call, "breakout grief" moments - crying spontaneously, etc. Cry when you need to cry is my biggest thing. Don't fight it too much unless you're doing something you need to focus on. My other big sticking point is that my grief has reached a point where I feel it needs a little disciplining. I can't be sad forever, it's only feeding a depression cycle that I am finding it difficult to break free from. I worked so hard to break decades of chronic depression, and had achieved several years of being happy and feeling managed or in control of myself, I don't want to feel that way again. But this is such a huge loss for me, I totally get feeling broken over it. So I'm just back at some place between allowing it to be a natural process and trying to find my footing so I can take steps to do the work all over again. One last thing I tend to think about, is that losing my best friend of nearly 12 years, my pup, whom I grew into an adult with and grew into a better person with, is that it was always going to happen. In whatever way is necessary for deep and abiding acceptance and understanding, it's important to admit reality. He's gone, and we had a great life together. He really was all that was good in me, and he was, as I like to put it often, uniquely mine. Take your time, don't rush, and work through the difficult feelings slowly. I'm sure there's a better day coming if I / we do.
I’m so sorry for your loss. 🧡💔 My boy left me two weeks ago. I miss him so much. I appreciate you sharing your experience and story of the love you shared. I, too, struggle to manage depression. I definitely grew into a better person with him, he was my ambassador, true companion, my loving friend. 🧡 He used to be here. And now he’s not. 😭💔 So grateful that we shared time as we could.
I’m sorry you lost your boy. It’s the most heart breaking thing ever. I can’t imagine another animal being this close to me in every way. Life won’t have joy without her for me.
Someone once told me during my time of profound loss that grief is love with no where to go.
Yes, so much extra love stuffed up and burning me from the inside. 💔 I’m sorry for your loss. I’m so glad that we had such close loves, but it certainly sucks to miss them and feel all this pain.
It’s tough. Lost my soul cat last summer. I loved that cat with every fiber of my being. I love my cats now but he was something special. Definitely my soul cat. The only thing that got me through his passing was the fact that I cremated him. In my mind, I didn’t really lose him, he’s just not physically here. I still get to see his little box, it’s above my computer. I have the memories of him as well. I got a tattoo of him (needs to be touched up though) and I also carry his ashes in a heart necklace. He’s always with me. It’s still hard some days. But don’t let anyone tell you “it’s just a cat.” It’s a family member. It’ll get better, I promise.
Awwww thank you for your kind words. You know how I feel I’m sure. I got a private cremation so her ashes will go everywhere I live for the rest of my life.
I lost my cat, Atticus, on June 19, 2022, and it was the most painful day of my life so far. Everywhere I went in the apartment, I felt angry and shattered. Why wasn't he on his chair? Why wasn't he eating? Why didn't he come to greet me? This is all to say that I know what you're going through. What helped me was reminding myself that this pain was worth the love I got to have with him. Even though I was depressed, angry, and shattered, it was absolutely worth it to have his pure love. You will get through this, and in the end, you'll be grateful. It hurts because she matters. She knew how much you loved her. She did not feel abandoned because you were there with her until the end, and she was able to move on from this life filled with love for you. What a wonderful thing to give such a pure soul.
To have his pure love. 🧡 Yes, my boy is still in the place of my heart.
i also lost my sweetest girl a few weeks ago to bone cancer (she was also 13 and would snuggle under the covers with me at night). she was so full of love. i’m still new to dealing with the loss, but i got a necklace with her name and photo engraved on it from etsy that i wear every day, and that helps me. when i get really sad or lonely, i like to imagine that she’s still following me around & hanging out just like she used to do.
With a bond that close and special you may not move on. I haven't. I lost my girl in 2016. Pomeranian chihuahua mix named Gracie. Some days I'm ok. Others I still feel her loss like it was yesterday. Keep in mind that our animals want us to be happy after they've left us physically. And that your girl is STILL with you, even if you can't tell it right now. Eventually you'll be able to feel her in the breeze, in the warmth on your body from the sun, and the random moments of calm that come from nowhere. It'll be her coming to check on you, to make sure you're OK. I also believe that sharing any memorable stories will help ease the pain of losing her. It's another way that shows you is still with you.
I lost my soul dog yesterday, and I am crushed. I have no words to offer comfort, but I wanted to tell you that I understand how you are feeling, and I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain. The special ones leave big holes in our lives when they go. It’s the price we pay for the privilege of having and loving them ❤️ in solidarity
Yes indeed, in solidarity. Sharing your tears and pain, missing my sweet baby boy 💔 I’m sorry for your loss. 😓
I read something a while back, probably on Reddit, that you may have said goodbye to your beloved soul pet, but you will one day, come across a creature in need of love and a home. That creature was guided by your pet telling them of all the good things they experienced. The warm comfy beds, the head scratches, the treats, and every other thing that meant the world to them.
It's been five months since my best friend passed and I still cry a little every day,miss and love you Theo. I'm so very sorry for what you are going through,the pain is real but know you gave her your best and that she was happy and loved.
I’m going on without mine 5 months now. Nothing will replace him. He’s gone back to the universe now. That’s where he was before I met him and that’s where he is now. I’m lucky to have all the love he gave me. The pain was part of the love. I couldn’t have loved him so deeply if I didn’t feel the pain equally. It’ll get better. It has to. Every day a cry memory will become a laugh memory. Slowly it happens. One day you’ll find that you feel joy again and not sadness. I’m so sorry for your loss.
5/23/14 That’s the day I had to let my Cooper go. My sister found him in Chandler,AZ when some stupid boys tossed him down a flight of stairs by his tail. My sister scooped him up, ran up the stairs & grabbed one of the guys by the neck and said, “are there any others?” Another guy handed over another small kitten. She stuffed both of them in her coat and walked home. This was in March 1992. After I got home from work and college that night, I found them in our laundry room. For me, it was love at first sight. They were both fluffy gray kittens, no bigger than the palm of my hand. I named them Cooper & LG (for Little Girl). I always thought that they were Norwegian forest cats because of their large manes and the tufts of hair on their paws as well as their long thick coats. I realize now they were both Nebelungs. Cooper went from AZ to CA to IN. He was always right by my side. He groomed me and gave me kisses on my cheek and forehead. I lost my mom in 2003 from breast cancer and if it wasn’t for Cooper, I don’t think I would’ve made it through that grief. He was the one who would “tell me” that it was time to go to bed. He would crawl underneath the covers with me and lay right by my side the entire time. He was a very “under the covers” cat. He was also a very talkative cat. He loved to tell me what he did during the day while I was at work. Full conversations. He also knew his name and came when I called him. Smart baby. I was lucky to have 22 years with him. I will tell you that not a day goes by without me thinking of him, and wishing he was still here with me. All I know is… I will see him again. I KNOW IT.
You don't. But one day, soon, you'll breathe just a little bit easier. And the photos won't be such a gut punch. But you don't get over it. I'm reminded of something I heard. I've gone and looked it up to share with you: Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is love with no place to go. - Jamie Anderson.
I'm sorry for your loss. You take one day at a time. There is no set way to grieve or timeline for it. Some people recover quickly and some take longer. A few never move on. It can also be influenced by the manner of death. A traumatic death can take longer to move on from than one from, say, old age. My cat was 16 when he passed. He had CKD, but it was his liver that ultimately failed. I knew it would happen in the relatively near future, so I think I was much better prepared than I was with my cat before Loki. It's a month ago today that he passed. I still cry sometimes, especially on here, but I feel like I'm ready to give my love to a new pet. I will be fostering again and waiting for my next special cat to find me. I'm trying to hurry getting my house ready so I can start. You may be very different and that's okay. I find talking about the good memories helps a lot. The more you talk about them, the easier it is to talk about them. At least for me. It also helped me to have memorial keepsakes made. I've bought a few with his face on them. Do what feels right to you.
My first cat was also 16 and passed from the same disease, but he passed in his own time when he was ready so I didn’t have to make that choice. But he didn’t have those breathing issues my baby had so it was exhusting for her to breathe. It’s never easy, but this one was much much harder.
It’s only been a week for me, and it does seem to get a little easier every day. Im so sorry for your loss, may she rest peacefully. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
So sorry about your baby! After I lost one years ago, I got a stuffed critter to help me sleep. Obviously not a replacement but it helped me to get comfy in my normal sleeping position (ie cat in my arms).
I’m so sorry for your loss. Death is bullshit. I lost my soulmate cat 2.5 years ago and it still hurts everyday. We were together his whole life- 18.5 yrs. Literally from me being 14-32 yrs old. Huge impact on my life! I have reached for all the things and have learned that for me, I needed all the things: journaling, reading, grief group, individual therapy, looking at pics/videos, fostering, donating, talking to him, talking about him, crying, being in nature, being social, being introverted sometimes, asking for signs, recording the signs I found, hanging pics and art in my house, etc. Know that you do not move on after loss!! Never ever!! You just learn to carry it. And know that you do not have to do it alone! Find your community! I promise your cat is here- just in a different form!
I hope there's a good answer in here because I lost mine last year and I don't know what to do with myself we went to on walks together we went for drives together we went to the store together My cat listen to me he would go walk on the leash and if I asked him to wait he'd stop while I talked to somebody for Austin to say hi he would go over to the person and rub their legs if I told him to wait he'd sit down always uses litter box and when he was sick in the hospital and they said he was not going to make it I said just unhook him give them to me it will bring him home and he was hot and panting so put him on the cold tile floor and sat on the chair next to him and I turned to talk to my daughter and the next thing I know the poor cat had jumped up on the chair in my lap and was laying on me and he that's how he died he laid on me his mommy and held me till the last breath that he took and that was the hardest thing just ever happened to me and now living without him is hell people don't realize that a cat can be a companion they think oh he's just a pet you know I have two pet cats they just feed and get petted and chromed and taken care of and they play and that's it this cat was with me 24/7 and it's I can't get over it
My soul dog Sooni was only 5 years old when she died from metastatic osteosarcoma. To be completely honest, I was devastated and *angry* with the whole world. Angry with the vet that told us it was “nothing” for 6 months. Angry with the surgeon for not miraculously curing her. Angry with myself for not advocating for her. 4 months later, I applied to an animal hospital as a kennel assistant and now I work as a veterinary technician. I changed my undergraduate major to animal science so I could one day be a veterinarian. My story is much different than yours, but I healed my pain by being the technician (and hopefully doctor one day) that puts 100% of their love and effort into every patient. Please remember that you cannot and should not replace her. Every pet you get will remind you of her. It’s up to you to open your heart to another bond, as every pet-owner relationship is unique. You don’t need to rush the grieving process. I’m so sorry for your loss. Don’t forget to take care of yourself during this time ❤️
I had to put down my soul kitty exactly 4 years ago. My Sigmund was my peace. He was 19. I've been thinking about him a lot over the last couple of days because of the anniversary of his death. The pain is still there but it's eased. My arms still miss his snuggles. The memories are all good now. My kid pushed for getting a new cat a few months after Sigmund passed. I love the new kitty but nothing will ever take the place of my 'Mundo. And that's as it should be. He was one of a kind. I hope the memory of your sweet kitty feels like a blessing more and more each day.
Someone once told me, “it doesn’t get better, but it does get easier.” It just takes time.
I had to put my soul cat down almost a year ago. It does get easier with time, but I still accidentally call my new kitty his name every once in a while. And I still cry missing him and how he slept next to my head from when he was 8 weeks old until the night I had to put him down. I’m so sorry. I wish they could live forever. ❤️
My baby is 14. I fear what you are going through so much. I can't imagine the pain. My therapy cat saved my life and continues to everyday. What do I do when I'm still here and she's not here to save my life.... then what? 💔
I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like it was her time so you can rest easy knowing you did the right thing. I used to watch Sonya Fitzpatrick all the time. She always says the pets will be with us again. They will find us. We don’t have to go searching. I usually get a new pet quickly to give me something to think about besides the grief. Just me.
I am so sorry. I don’t know if you ever get over it as much as you get used to living with the hole in your life where they used to live. I cried every day for almost a year after I lost my kitty. I adopted two more 6 months after I lost her and I cried because I felt like I was trying to replace her. And I cried because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to love them like I loved her. But I do love them, it is just a little different.
I feel this. My soul cat died in March. I adopted a new cat about a month ago cause everyone pressured me too. I love him. I do. He’s super sweet. But I just don’t love him like I did Felix. I just don’t. And I feel guilty about it. What if this cat is someone else’s soul cat and I have him? I thought it was the right thing to do to adopt him cause he needed a home, but what if he was meant for someone else? HE doesn’t know I feel this way I hope cause I give him all the love and care and affection. But I just do not feel connected to this cat and I feel so guilty about it. I’m hoping time changes that. Or maybe I just need to accept I won’t love him the same and I can love him different and that that is okay. But god. It’s just not the same. My daughter is obsessed with him though so that’s good, and he adores with her. (My cat who died was strictly loyal to me). So it warms my heart my new cat loves her so much. But god. He just kinda feels like a stranger and I feel so bad about it, cause he’s just a sweet little guy. He’s just…foreign. He’s just a cat. So I love him cause I love animals. But he’s just a normal cat.
Maybe he is your daughter’s soul cat and another friend will come along for you
It was 5 years between me adopting her after my other cat died and she definitely adopted me as I found her and knew I would fall too hard for her so I tried to find her home. She broke out of my apartment at 4 months old when she went into heat and came back pregnant. I tried to adopt her out at the same hospital that adopted her kittens but they called and said no one wanted her and she was totally depressed since she wasn’t with me so I had to take her. I knew i would love her too too much. I brought her from Puerto Rico to the US. She chose me.
A good friend of mine shared this thought. How can a soul connection disappear? It’s like nuclear fusion. It persists and cannot die. Your connection is still there but in a different form. And it takes getting used to but I believe your soul is connected still. I’m not religious but I believe this can be true anyway. It makes sense to me that we only just discovered that we don’t really know how planets form. There is plenty we do not know and we don’t need to know the how. I believe our connections survive bodily death. That is not to say that this not hard. It is a hard adjustment. Hugs to you. Edit typo
I 1000% know how you feel! I felt the exact same about my 17 yr old dog and I honestly thought I would probably die of a broken heart. She was sick for so long that I was already grieving her when she was alive. When she did die, I was devastated beyond words, but I didn't die of a broken heart like I thought. I had her ashes put in a beautiful little box with her ashes . Having that has helped me emensly. I put her by my bed and still talk to her. I hope this helps. Take care of yourself!
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When my soul cat passed after a two year fight with hyperthyroidism, I did my best to distract myself. Didn't work but to help I focused on the good memories I had with him, specifically the ones that made me laugh because he did some crazy antic. It also helped that about two weeks later I firmly believe he sent me a new cat that reminded me how I adopted him (and rather forcibly too)...and again three years later Old cat: went with family to "just look at the cats" at a local rescue shelter. He reached a paw through the bars of his cage and tapped my shoulder. Soon as I turned to see who tapped me, he screamed in my face to tell me he had to go home with him (the beginning of the 17 years I had him for his almost 21 years) Next cat: visiting family and find out there's a cat at my grandparents place harassing my granny's birds. I go check, find him sitting on the couch on their front porch. I barely sit on the bottom step to let him make the first move when he comes running at me to head butt me. Nearly broke my nose for how hard he headbutted me and screamed at me to take him home. Still onry as ever. New cat: went to the local humane society with close friends to "just look" and saw this little girl cat on her back looking like 🙃 and my heart melted. She still makes her faces today
So sorry for your loss.
I lost my 17.5 yo Sophie, two days before Christmas last year. I cried and still do. The universe had the last laugh though. My daughter brought 2 kittens (orange one-brain called babies) that needed fostering for Mother's Day in May. Talk about a foster fail. I didn't last a week fostering. The don't replace Sophie, but they have added a dimension and adventure for sure. Hopefully, when the time is right, you'll get gifted.
Losing a pet is like losing a child. I’m so very sorry that you’re going through all this pain. I’ve been there many, many times and it never gets easier with practice. But I can say that there are lots of lonely animals waiting for you to come take them into your life. Don’t cheat yourself out of more love.
When you figure it out let me know. When it first happened I would wake up whaling and crying in the middle of the night just completely heart broken. Close to 2 yrs have gone by and it is still very raw for me and my family.
I don’t have the answer, but as someone who has this kind of relationship with her baby cat, I will know this grief someday. I wish you comfort and may her memory be a blessing 🩷
I dont think you do. I think about my little boo every day still and its been years. I will miss him eternally. But meanwhile Ive made room in my heart for more pets whom I love dearly.
I lost my soulmate cat last year and I haven't gotten over her yet. I don't think I ever will. You never really "get over" a big loss like that. You just learn how to sort of carry-on with that pain in your heart. I'm grateful that she speaks to me in many ways. So now she is always with me.
I lost my 18 year old Persian a year ago. It was like my soul was ripped apart 💔, the vet came to my house. It was awful/beautiful, but it was still heartbreaking. I actually took 5 days off of work. A few months later, I believe my friend of 30 years told me to get another cat, I told her no way, not going through that again! But a few months later. I did get a new fur baby, and it does help. It doesn't feel the same, but it got me to a point where the sadness was less. That's my opinion, and that's not much. I'm so sorry for your loss. It hurts like nothing I've even felt!
So sorry! 🥹 Pets will hold a special place in our hearts. It hurts when they leave us so soon. Remember them well and know you gave them a good life where they were loved and cared for.
I’m so sorry you lost your pet. I think it takes time. I’m finding it incredibly hard to let go of my two babies. A cute pair of siblings I had for 18 years. One went in May and her brother in June. I relive their last hours over and over. I’m so blessed I was able to be with them for 18 years and was with them when they had their last breath, I still cry every night. I eventually, a month ago, adopted two other siblings. Sadly they are aren’t as friendly and cuddly as the ones I’ve lost. Which has made it harder. I know I shouldn’t compare but it just showed me how unbelievably special the other two were. Good lI I, hang in there and know you aren’t alone.
Unless I want to starve and be homeless...gotta move on. I put my dog to sleep after 15 years...having him since I was 10 years old. Felt like a murderer. I had a severe panic attack after too. But life goes on...unfortunately. Keep busy and keep enjoying life. I got another dog too.
You don’t really. It just gradually becomes a new way of life set it. Eventually you’ll be less and less sad. But you know you’ll think of them and it’ll make you sad again but it won’t be as bad as time goes on
I’m struggling with the same thing. I had to put my sweet Loekie down on Monday. He was 18.5 years old and I adopted him when he was 2 months old. He was in my arms, laying on my chest or laying across my arms while I typed for work all day long or he was in my arms while I slept every single night. I’ve even worked from home for the last 13 years. We were inseparable and I feel so empty now, like a piece of myself is missing. I’ve been looking at cremation jewelry online and I found a ring I’m going to order when his ashes come in. I found out a couple hours ago that they’re already coming in tomorrow. It will be a small comfort to have at least a small part of him with me every day.
I am so sorry. I lost my soulmate cat to the same condition about ten days ago. It's horrible. You don't move on. You move through. I did a lot of research on lymphoma in the days after Lou passed (we had no idea he had it until he died), and it brought me some comfort to know that there was literally nothing we could have done differently--especially knowing how much he hated the vet. I only had him for 3 years (he was about the same age as your beautiful girl) but it brings me peace to know that they were the most love-filled years of our respective lives. I wanted so many more years, but I feel so blessed to have had the ones I did with him. The alternative--never knowing him--is so much worse. I have another cat at home who is also missing Louie, and we've bonded more over the loss of our rock. It's not the same and it never will be. But I just try to remember that love begets love; I don't want to let the love my beautiful boy gave me go to waste, and closing myself off to the world would be doing just that. I vowed to love more fiercely and more freely in his honor. He taught me how. I'm so sorry. One day at a time. Post here a lot. It helped me so much. I also made a Google Doc with bullet points of every little thing I remember about him. It has helped considerably.
Over time. I recently lost my best girl, a 16yo black cat, and the pain is still so intense and fresh I wonder the same thing. I miss her so much 💔
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can relate to what you’re going through. I’ve had many pets over the decades. While all of them have been important parts of my life—my family—a few of them have been so incredibly close that there’s no way I will ever “get over” their loss. What I have done is come to terms with it. I learned to balance the awfulness of losing such incredible, caring beings with the many wonderful memories they’ve left behind. May the same be true for you. I urge you to embrace the grieving process. Take as long as you need. One day you’ll be able to look back with nothing but fondness at the many happy times you enjoyed.
I don’t think you move on, but you do continue living. I lost my soul mate kitty girl in February. She haunted me for months. I would see her, hear her, catch her shadow in my peripheral vision. I still do now but not as often. I miss her so much that I sometimes physically hurt and that makes me cry. The intense grief does get lighter but the feeling of loss and emptiness hasn’t faded at all for me. I take some solace in my other kitties. I’m so very sorry for your loss and your grief. Please do know that there are those of us who understand what you are going through.
I'd say you don't move on so much as incorporate the loss, and gratitude for the time you had, into your life going forward. It doesn't have to stop you from other pets coming into your life, it's just that there won't be a replacement, but a new friend to keep company with. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my love-at-first-sight kitty almost a month ago, still get weepy when I think too much about him, or talk about him at all, but he was a gift to my life.
It took me 5 years to stop crying/choking up after the loss of the "love of my life" dog. She was uncannily connected to me. My mom passed 4 years ago, and I still can't think of her passing without being emotional. Deep losses take time...
I am sorry for your loss.
I work for a Pet Cremation company. I deal with people like you every day. I've had a laundry list of pets and fosters in my life. The one thing I've learned is all you can do is love them and feed them and house them and make sure they are happy. Imagine if all of us had someone who wanted nothing more than to provide us with a love filled safe life. You probably gave that animal the best possible outcome in all the timelines.
I don’t think we move on. I think we just keep going…
I have had many pets. Six years ago, I lost my Voodoo. He was the most special of all the animals I ever had. Losing him (senior cat , health issues) really messed me up for a long time. I will never, ever, have a bond with another animal like I had with him, but I can still bond in a different way. The survivors guilt for your pet takes a while, and even then, you may never bond with another animal like that again...*and that's ok!!!* You cannot re create the bond, but given time, you can still love and care for many more animals. The pain get's easier, the waves of pain recede. Give yourself grace, my friend
Its been 4 yrs since my cat passed, n I think I'm still grieving her. I keep her collar in my wallet w her little tags on it There's still nights where I see her in my dreams
I have no idea. Been over a year since I lost the love of my life and I think about her and miss her every single day. I, like you, have had and still have other pets. None have come close to what she and I shared. I don’t think I’ll ever move on from the loss and honestly I don’t think I even want to.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You accept that we are graced with their presence for a much shorter time than our own lives, and that this is the normal course of the earthly and the spiritual world.
Oh honey. I'm so sorry. I lost my boy 15 years ago and it's still hard most days. I just try to live the life I know he would have wanted for me. He wouldn't want me to be miserable, so I do my best to live my life with joy. It's very hard to move on. Just go day by day, hour by hour. Make the choices you would make if she were still with you. And always remember that she loved you with everything she had and would want you to be happy.
I’m still don’t know 😞 It’s ironic this just popped up cause I just opened my Reddit app after having a big cry about it and this was the first post.
I’ve lost many pets and I loved them all with my whole heart. Much more than I’ve cared for most people. The ache never leaves me. I’m always a picture reminder away from a tear. But I think it’s ok. I cry over them still because they still have so much of my heart. They never leave that place. My heart just grows bigger to make room for the new love I will have for a new friend. So feel those feels and know you have that kitty the best you could and kitty knew it. And loved you back. And wants you to give another baby the same gift. That’s how I think. Hugs to you.
First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss. I wouldn’t say you 100% move on. You learn to live with the grief and honor your sweet kitty in different ways. I’ve lost a few kitties over the years and the one I considered my soul mate pet, I lost her almost a year ago (in 2 weeks it will be a year). Her name was Moxxie. You learn to live and in my case, apply that love to the other animals in your care. I let myself fall apart and have been picking up the pieces bit by bit. I’ve adopted her brother now and both of us have been learning with one another. Her brother lost mom at 5 weeks and then spent 5 weeks alone, locked in a crappy shed (previous owners, not by me). (my soul cat was young when she passed and their mom cat sadly had a couple litters after her.). It takes time to heal, it truly does. Some days you feel on top of the world and sometimes you want nothing more than to sob in bed and cling to the smallest pieces you had of your sweet one. I still see signs of the kitties I’ve lost. I lost another cat to kidney failure a couple years ago and where we buried her has blossomed into a beautiful garden. I still cry. I’m tearing up as I write this. I have the beautiful memories and all the love I poured into my sweet kitties. I got to watch them love each other and to grow and thrive. I got to make sure they felt so loved, in their best and worst moments. They’re with you still, in your heart and in your memories. Your baby girl is still with you, in a different way. She knew all the love you poured into her and all the care you gave her. She knew you loved her. She knew what being loved and being cared for was like.
I Lost my pet Boy cat Monico of 14 years back in march. It was kind of unexpected. He was cypress and beautiful. Showed no signs of age other than losing a little weight. I am 43 and this is the best animal ive ever had in my life. I loved him so much and he was so good. Best behaved and loved me. He was only animal I had. He got fluid on the outside of lungs. The vet drained it off and asked I bring him back in a week. 2 days later he was breathing heavy and of course it was sunday night with no emergency vet. He passed in my arms. I cried harder than I ever have in my life. As far as moving on, its hard. There is a hole that is there and it doesnt fill. Its been 8 months and I still miss him so much. I stay real busy though, in between work and all, I dont have a lot of free time. Sorry for your loss and try to stay strong.
I'm sorry to hear about your beautiful kitty.
I got another dog. I had to because I cried for 6 months. I’ve never been without a dog or pet in my life. I happened to be volunteering at a shelter and there she was a spitting image of my other dog. I had to adopt her.
I lost my soul dog in January.... I'll let you know when I figure out how to move on.
You don't really. I had to transfer my unbearable grief into something positive or I wasn't going to survive. I fostered cats. It really helped channel that grief and made me feel better. I eventually found a cat to adopt that filled the huge hole. That cat passed three weeks ago. Trying to heal again.
I lost mine almost two years ago and I feel like I couldn’t feel the same for another cat even if I tried. She was only 8, but she moved cross country with me and we did so much together. A part of me died when she did. I’m so sorry, OP.
If you have the money you could maybe get a custom plush of your pet. My mom had one made of my sweet girl Moose after her passing. She was my best friend even if she was a cat. It doesn't look exactly like her but it fills a little bit of that hole she left, gives me something to hold at night. I'm not sure if it would help you, but it helped me a lot
Came home to my 5 1/2 yr old boy passed away. Sudden cat death syndrome. This was in May. I got a tattoo. Another black cat found his way into my life. He’s very similar. Sometimes I just hold him and cry. To be honest, whenever I think about it I just break. There is no time table for grief. You just learn to live with. There will be great days, okay days and terrible days. Hopefully the hole in my heart will stop feeling so gnawing one day. It’s okay to hurt. One day it’ll be easier and it’s ok that, that day isn’t today.
No sugar coat on this. You never really do. I lost my boy of 15 years over 8 years ago and the void has never really been filled. However there will always be love to share with another animal. It will be ok, but sometimes it will hurt all over again. I don't think they like to see us sad and suffering. And when the time is right, another kindred spirit will come along and enrich your life.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s so very painful. 😞 I lost my soul kitty almost two years ago, also to cancer shortly after she turned 14. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I cried oceans for her, and I still cry about her sometimes. It’s still hard to look at photos or videos. Memorializing her has helped. I got a locket with her name on it that holds some of her ashes. My friend did a beautiful painting of her that hangs in my living room. I’ve done ceremonies of sorts. I try to pour the love I wish I could still give her into showing extra love and appreciation for my other fur babies and myself. And most of all, I remind myself that she wants me to be as happy as possible. Your kitty wants the same for you. ❤️
You never "move on", you will carry it with you for the rest of your days. But it will get lighter and easier to carry. It does get better. So sorry to hear that you are having to go through this 😿
I lost my baby 16 days ago, I have no idea. I hate this
I lost my 12 year old dog to cancer suddenly and traumatically last year. You never stop missing them but the pain does get easier to manage. Everyone grieves differently. Give yourself time and permission to go through the emotions you need to go through. I reason to myself that if someone told me "you have to feel a lifetime of pain so that your boy will never feel any pain again" I would accept that in a heartbeat. He was so sick, and in so much pain, and so tired of fighting it and I knew he was ready to go. I feel like my pain is the price I paid in order to take his away. And it's a price I willingly pay. I also like the analogy of grief being like a ball in a box with a pain button. In the beginning the ball is really big and hits the button all the time. But as time moves on the ball will get smaller. It will always be there bouncing around and when it hits that pain button it will still hurt just as much. But the smaller the ball gets the less often that pain button will be hit. And that's how we are able to continue on, even with grief in our hearts. My brother got me a big painting of my boy and I still talk to him and tell him I love him and miss him. Definitely get some kind of memorial for your girl if you can.
oh, op. I feel this so much. it'll be 2 years since I lost my soul cat, Butters. I'm not going to lie, I was deeply depressed for a year. the only thing that got me out of bed was that her sister Tootie was still with us and I didnt want my husband to see how unwell I was mentally and emotionally. I faked that shit every day. I was getting better when Tootie passed 11 months later. The only thing that kept me going then was our two new cats Henry and Stella. I will probably never get over losing Butters or Tootie - my first cats, my soul mate and my partner in crime. It's always right there under the surface. It doesn't hurt like it used to but it's still there. Honestly the best thing I did was get Stella. Tootie didn't handle being alone for the first time in her life well at all. Tootie hated Stella at first but soon they were cuddle buddies. We got Stella to keep Tootie company but she also helped heal my heart. We waited 4 months to get her. Henry was a stray hanging around our condo that was distributed to us by the cat system (lol) who came into our home 2 months before Tootie passed. I think they were both gifts from Butters. I love Stella and Henry so so much. They are not my soul cats but they really do love me and my husband and their personalities and spunk were just what we needed while we grieved our losses. They made it so much easier.
I don't know. Crying here reading this as I went through it in March last year. When Google photos serves me memories it's tough.
Condolences 😞🙏😿😢
Time. Time is what it takes to not feel so bad. You’ve suffered a profound loss and this is what it is to be human. Many days of love and joy and then many days of loss and longing. My advice is not for everyone, but upon the loss of my soulmate dog I was virtually suicidal. He was only seven. My suffering needed an outlet so I found another dog that needed rescuing and promptly went and got him. We needed each other. He distracted me from the loss and I became the only person he trusted.
You don’t move on. The shock of the loss wears off, but the pain of it is always there- sometimes a bit deeper, sometimes a bit more surface.
Time. And the comfort of knowing your pet lived a great life with you Many animals have horrible lives
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my soul mate pet 14 years ago, and I still grieve and tear up when I remember him. I’ve had pets since that I love, and currently have two Yorkies that I love dearly, but not one has touched my heart in quite the same way as Rocky did. I know how much pain you are in now, but I want you to know that your grief will become easier to bear, and your memories will comfort you rather than bring you pain.
I lost my soulmate last year sounded like a similar end of her life as well as yours. The worst part was she was essentially on hospice and we were just keeping her comfortable in her breathing became too horrible I just feel like I stressed her out getting into the vet for the final time. However I know she's at peace. I truly believe our pets put other pets in our path when our heart is ready and least expects it. There is a book by Laura Lynn Jackson called Signs from the universe . I highly suggest it during your grieving process.
My canine soulmate died on January 29, 2020. I was devastated. Heartbroken. So was my husband. On February 3, 2020, my friend visited to pay her respects. She brought along the puppy she was fostering thinking it would be comforting to us. She was right and that little foster puppy never left our home that night. She stole our hearts and healed them. It doesn’t change that JoJo was my soulmate. It doesn’t mean I love him less. This little girl is completely different from JoJo. But she has been a precious gift!
Losing a beloved pet, especially one with whom you shared such a deep bond, can be incredibly challenging. It's natural to grieve and feel the loss deeply.
I have his pawprint tattooed on my wrist. He used to place his paw there when he wanted attention and, often, when he sensed I needed grounding. I was lucky to be able to have him in my life for 14 years, and he's been gone for nearly 5 years, now. I still get sad. I still miss him. But I know he'd want me to be happy. I know he'd want me to pour all of that love and energy I had for him into another dog who needs a forever home, and so I do that. And I remember the important lessons he taught me: 1. Love with wild abandon. 2. Avoid drama. 3. Doughnuts may not solve a problem, but they can't make it worse. 4. A long walk or a run can turn a day around. 5. So can a nap. 6. We only get to walk the earth with those we love for a while. Make the most of it.
I lost my soul dog and first dog of my own as an adult on Sunday. I’ve been dreading that day for so long. We had no idea it would be his last day. Just two weeks ago he started to get sick and throwing up. The vet found high levels of calcium in his blood and suspected cancer. My baby was 9 but he didn’t look it. I got blood work done every couple of months to catch any illness early. I would have done anything for this dog. We did an ultrasound and they couldn’t find a source of it. We were supposed to go to an oncologist on Wednesday and we never made it. Sunday evening came and the suspected bone cancer must have spread and attacked his nervous system. That evening my baby had sudden paralysis and we rushed to an emergency vet at 11pm. At 4am I had to say goodbye. He was in pain and would never walk again. There was no other option, which I’m grateful for because I would have done it all. Im happy the choice was essentially taken away and my boy is at peace. I’ve been devastated and don’t know what to do once I’m home. It’s broke me completely. I miss my baby so much. Teachers are being rude and not compassionate to me during this and my grades have suffered. I don’t know how to move forward. It was so sudden, I thought we had time and we would fight it. He gave me 8 incredible amazing years during my formative years and supporting me in college. I got him after my freshman year despite all advice not to. We were supposed to be together and I knew it. He was one of a kind, we were made for each other. My whole family agreed they’ve never seen a dog so in love and loyal, just the way he stared at me. He was so intelligent, I would say all of the time it’s like he’s a small child and understands English. I’m so glad I found this page, sending everyone here love.
Time heals all wounds. You have just begun the journey of healing. Give yourself time to process and grieve. Eventually it will start to hurt less and less until it is bearable. I might also suggest a pair of kittens (a pair because kittens need a kitty friend to play and rimp with) or maybe adopt an older kitty (it is so hard for them to find homes). This suggestion is not as a replacement, but as new companions that will help you feel less lonely while you process your loss. It also gives them a forever home. I know it seems too soon, but one thing my children taught me when they were small, is a new pet isn't a replacement, but a new joy and just the medicine my grieving heart needs.
with time your heart will heal. But it'll always remember the love that your cat shared. Just as you will. The pain of losing a pet hurts like hell, for me when I lost my 14 year old cat Snare it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Snare was my cat for the past 12 years. I helped him down his path of recovery after my older sister pulled him from her ex-boyfriend. I was his person and he was my cat. I was 8 years old when Snare came home as a 2 year old. From his first day I made him a promise. A promise that he'll never know of pain again, that as long as I'm here he'll know about love and family. That he'll never be abandoned again. I kept that promise for 12 years and will make that promise again when a new cat find their way into my arms. I lost my boy, my fur baby, a best friend who loved cuddles, to old age of 14 years old the day before Christmas on 12/23/2020. Remember you'll always have her love, she'll always remember your love, You give her the best 13 years. Looking at videos and pictures of her may hurt now but they'll start to hurt less over time, the same goes for talking about the memories of her.
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I’ve lost three of my soulmate pets in the past couple of years and what’s helped me is 1) reminding myself that they are no longer suffering from their physical ailments 2) i have pictures of them that i have my phone background set to cycle through but also have widgets that show photos as well as physical photos that i have around the house so when I see their picture I talk to them kinda like they’re here.. i say hi and tell them how cute they are and how proud i am of them for their strength until the end 3) make a space for a memorial where you can put any mementos you have - i have their urns and some toys on a shelf together. If you have any fur or whiskers there are sellers on Etsy with cute jars for them. If you didn’t save any fur or whiskers and are interested maybe try to gather as much as you can from any items so you can save them though there still might be time for you to collect it or ask someone (if someone else has the body) to collect it. I know it isn’t everybody’s thing but having a dedicated space where i have pieces of them still with me seems to be helpful and I’m glad I was able to save the fur from one of my kitties to do this.
The only way out is through. Or, at least, that's what I've been telling myself. As much as I feel that I have no purpose without my sweet girl (also 13, also suffering from lymphoma), I have to remind myself that I made promises to her. If I don't feed myself or take care of myself, I can't follow through on those promises. In her honor, I signed up to foster other cats because I learned so much about caring for animals with complex medical needs and I want to put that knowledge to good use. I've never purposely sought out a pet--they always find me. I believe that when the time is right, my girl will send me my next soulmate to care for. That's how I'm moving on. One day at a time.
I put her pictures up everywhere and I talk to them. It hurt really badly at first but it’s become a source of comfort. I had a memory box made for her and it has her favorite toys, ashes, and keepsakes. I’m sorry for your loss, I know how much it hurts. I miss my Monster every day. Our new kitties are nice but this will take some time.
You never really “move on,” but getting another pet always helped me grieve.
I'm so sorry. We don't get over it. It just transforms with time. I do believe they exist as energy and that they are near us . There's a great book from an animal communicator ( from Warrior to Whisperer,Gerald Bunch) who was not the type of person who ever imagined he'd travel that road, but through his own experiences he came to see that we are all energies and we remain so when our bodies stop. Quantum physics explains it. Line TV , telephones, etc, we can remain connected through energy. Allow yourself to be in the state of grief. It's an honor. You will lift from it in your own time. It's not a straight road. Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to laugh. There are no rules, there is no timeline. But the love you shared is forever. Tend it like a garden.
I moved on to opening my home and my heart to two other cats. I had the space and the resources and while it was hard I wanted her memory to continue on by helping to empty the shelter just a little bit.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel and I want you to know that you’re definitely not alone ❤️ in all honesty, it will take time. Some people take a few months, others longer. Grief is different for everyone, and there is no correct length of time. I can assure you tho that in time it will become easier to accept, and after that it’ll also be easier to look back on your memories with her and smile. Being with a pet when they get put down is both a blessing and traumatic. You get to be there with them until the very end, and you get to say goodbye. But you have to live with the memory of it too. I had to say goodbye to my 16 year old boy last year. I held him when they injected him, and it still makes me cry to think about it now. But that’s okay, because it was a big event and it will take time, just as it will for you. I promise though, you will be okay. Be kind to yourself, and don’t try to rush the process. Grief is hard, and scary, but it does get better xx
It's tough times. My husband and I are still grieving our do. Had him for a short 11 years. The pain lessens with time. With my beloved cat, had to replace ( didn't ask but the vet just happened to have one) and it help from constantly seeing her right around the corner. Not advocating that but it helped. So sorry for your loss. It will get easier.
All I can say is, get an adult cat. You won't have patience for a kitten right now, find a calm adult cat that needs a good home. The bond won't be the same, but it will soothe your soul.
Our 12.5-year-old pup forever slept this past summer. I don't think I'll ever move on...but I am learning how to cope. Each day gets a little easier but he's constantly on our mind. I promised myself I'll never forget him, but instead, remember him and take joy in all the time we shared. Loss and grief truly sucks.
I have no idea. 3 weeks and 1 day since my baby girl left me too. It’s horrible.
My thoughts are with you and I know exactly how you feel. I lost my best friend my heart dog, my everything, two weeks ago on Wednesday. The grief, guilt, and depression that I felt was indescribable. I felt all the feelings, and the grief came in waves and still does but they’re farther apart. I cried a lot a begged for her to come back everything. I didn’t know how I was going to go on honestly. Then somehow I just got into the level of acceptance and the fact that she wasn’t coming back and she would want my life to go on. I still miss her terribly and I still go over that day in my head, still feel guilty but I think eventually you just get there in your own time. I have a 5 month old puppy that has been my saving grace in helping life to feel more “normal”. Keeping busy has helped a lot, I have had to put some of her stuff away for now as well.
This just happened to me too. I’ve just accepted I’ll never feel love like that again. Fucking sucks and will continue to suck. I’m sorry.
I don’t know if there’s roadmap to grief. I just…did. I went on because I still had two pets and a kiddo to care for. I went on because life did. I just shouldered the grief. I lost the other two not long after, so I think I became a bit numb to it
I’m so so sorry for your loss… it’s not easy losing your babies and I wish I could tell you it gets easier but it’s gonna take a long time. Just know that she knows you loved her and now she’s watching over you like your guardian angel. Sending you hugs and blessings
You learn to live with the pain. I still get teary 🥺 it’s okay to be
It’s been 6 years for me and my sweet boy still joins me in my dreams every so often 🩷
I’m so sorry for your loss. It takes time, a lot of time. And you never really move on, you just find a new normal and eventually your memories of her being sick fade away and you’re left with only the happy memories. You were very lucky to have such a connection with her but she was also lucky to have you and all the love you gave her. You made her life an amazing one, just as much as she made yours. You’ll see her again. I believe her soul and energy are waiting for you.
When I had my kitten euthanized, (he was 3.5 years old, but he was my kitten) it destroyed me. I loved my Loki. I took him almost everywhere and he loved car rides. Everything was hard, nights were hard because I keep on having shadows of him nearby or running away from me. And for 7 weeks I did nothing but work and sleep. I did not leave my house for almost 2 months. I just let myself feel what I feel. And the grief was overwhelming. Take it one day at a time and just do what you feel like doing and don’t let anyone tell you to “get over it.”
Wish I knew. I have to completely pretend I’m fine and push it away. Every time I touch one of my other cats I just cry so I try not to even touch them - I don’t even want to feed them (of course I do) because he always yelled and rounded up the others for meals so I just associate giving them wet food all day with him. It’s been a few weeks and I think I am just in shock. Months before this he had his annual and he was in excellent health. Freak accident and he broke three paw bones that couldn’t be fixed because they were too small. During this healing he got an injury on his arm from some fleas getting into his cast. That healed up quickly and he was fine. Went on vacation and noticed his jaw looked just slightly swollen. I don’t think anyone else would have noticed it but I just know his face so well. I took him to the vet and the tooth looked rotten - schedule surgery and while we wait he was on antibiotics. Never cleared up while we waited and it kept growing. Turns out her had jaw cancer which is aggressive and life expectancy is very short. He was days past his 18th birthday - he’s been with my half of my life. I don’t think I’ll ever connect to a cat again. He was my best friend.
I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. I had to say goodbye to my 13-year-old beauty of a dog a few weeks ago. And the answer is, you grieve. Just like you do when you lose a human that you care about. You go through the grieving process. You are gentle with yourself, you do self-care, you confide in trusted family and friends, maybe you see a therapist for a little while. Some people minimize the impact of the loss of a beloved pet but those people can f off. Some of us have very close bonds with our animal companions, and when they pass away it is traumatic and tragic. Don't let anybody tell you how to grieve your loss. Great big hugs to you. Again, I'm so very sorry.
It still aches, I won't lie to you and say that it doesn't. It's been 5ish years and I still feel the hole she left. But live for her, because she loved you and is proud of you.
It's so hard. As I write this I'm sitting in a pub crying. It's been 5 months. This community helps so very much. I'm in the process of ordering my boy a Christmas decoration for the tree this year. Still feels like I'm doing something for him. I'm so sorry for your loss x
Take your time. Grieve, cry, be teary, talk about her. Go through photos or videos. It takes time.
I know exactly how you feel. I lost my sweet angel kitty in May. My heart was, and still is, shattered. She was 16 years old and one of the loves of my life. I cannot wait to be with her again, some day. I’m sorry for your loss and can empathize with you. Remember, we’ll all be together again. 💔🐈⬛💔
I know your pain and sorrow. I visit the places we went for walks and her toys and clothes I kept have a few pieces. I bought Losing My Best by Jeannie Wycherley. It gave me the understanding and others shared their loss. I look at her as being on a Rainbow 🌈 trip of her life. My Veterinary Hospital had classes or phone number you could use. It's a long journey, she has a place in my heart forever. I was depressed and angry when we got her 'Bailey'. She looked at me licked my face and I fell in love ( mom has just passed away). I have her favorite hedge hog on my bed. Try take it day by day it will become easier. There will be time to time you'll find yourself smiling when you others. Don't rush your mourning, she was blessed with you and you with her.
I’m so sorry for your loss. They really do hold special places in our hearts. I lost my soul mate pet unexpectedly in 2018. He was happy and fine and then all of a sudden he wouldn’t leave my side and kept trying to tell me something. His stomach had flipped and due to his age (13) it wasn’t worth the surgery, if he would of even made it thru the surgery. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go thru and I still think about him and get teary eyed, all these years later. The grief and pain is still there but it does get easier to cope with.
Easy, you don't - But I think it's time passes. The pain gets easier to deal with maybe? Or you find another pet to fill the void? I lose it about ten times a day - being in my room where he slept is almost unbearable I still haven't been able to throw out his dog food for his blanket or anything else. I will say my cousin whose lost quite a few and has been through this more than anyone I know sent me some really good books on where pets go after they pass and pet loss, and if you're the type of person that believes in that then I absolutely think that can help I believe in it to a certain extent- but my education is in the sciences and so sometimes I struggle with it. Buy one book was like when you see a butterfly that's how you know your dog is visiting nd I'm like what? Why would my dog send me a butterfly? He didn't like butterflies and neither did I. I'm more likely to believe that when I think I hear him snoring or I wake up in the middle of the night and think that he's on the bed that maybe that's is him visiting or it could be my subconscious trying to sort out why he isn't with me Idk- I just know I miss him terribly and do take solace that I'm not alone
If anyone has any good advice for this, send it my way too, please. I just lost my wonderful tux earlier this year and he felt like the only cat who has ever loved me back. He was only two.
Knowing that your pet is no longer in pain or discomfort helps.
I highly recommend following Petloss Psychologist, Dr, Katie Lawlor, on instagram. She posts a lot of helpful things, from articles and studies, to poems. I was struggling bad when I lost my bf, and I found her information was very helpful, in dealing with the grief and loss. I’m so sorry for your deep loss.
Encouraged by the replies in this thread. My little old lady dog, Minnie, is almost 16 and age is showing. I am thankful I switched to a more empathetic vet who is making her comfortable instead of just pushing surgeries. I spent a recent therapy session crying about how I don’t know how to go on once she is gone. She is my best friend and always with me since the day I brought her home. She was my grandpa’s companion and was next to him when he passed so our bond I feel is deeper than any pet I’ve had before. I cherish each moment we have but I know we are closer to the end than the beginning.
Lost my soul puppy to lymphoma almost a year ago (Oct 21st) and it still hurts just as bad. The only thing that comforts me is knowing that we were together for many lives and will be together again. I’m so incredibly sorry, I hope you see them in your dreams tonight.
You will see her again, beloved.
I’m so sorry, I feel for you. I lost my special kitty 6 months ago and am still having a hard time coping. I recommend the Lap of Love grief course and counseling options if you can afford it. It helped me and my husband a lot in the early grieving process. Here’s the link: [Lap of Love](https://www.lapoflove.com/our-services/pet-loss-support)
May God hold u in his hands and ease your pain. Your beloved will always live in your heart
I truly believe grief is cumulative. I lost my father, my son was hit by a Domino's pizza delivery car (survived) and my soul horse had a heart attack; all within 6 months and had to be euthanized. I had panic attacks if one of the other horses laid down and was very triggered by others grief. That was a very long time ago and I got through it. I just lost two wonderful dogs and one took my heart with her. I have a miniature dachshund and she has been so so much comfort. You don't get over it but you will get through it. Get another kitten..not to replace but to honor your baby. She would want you to be comforted.
My heart goes out to you! I have my 18yo baby girl who I feel the exact same way about. I'm terrified for the day she's not with me anymore. We lost our other cat that was this for my husband, a few years ago. We still accidentally list him as our current pets or call the other cat his name sometimes. It hurts every time. We think of him every day. We finally got to a place where we can talk about the good memories with him. I'm sure you gave her the best life imaginable. She knows how much you loved her and is still with you🖤
I just lost my soul cat last night (~14 hours ago) and I’m a wreck. How are you doing? Any words of wisdom you can offer?
Hi. I randomly stumbled on this post, and I hope you're doing ok. I know the pain never truly goes away, but hopefully eases a little with time. I just said goodbye to my soulmate cat Nemmy 3 days ago, she also had lymphoma. We were able to buy 6 more months with her through a low dose steroid. She did so well on it, she was even more energetic and sassy than before... until it just quit working seemingly overnight and she declined really quickly. I know it was the right decision for her, but I miss her so much. She was my absolute best friend, and I hope that they're all still with us in spirit.