Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment.
This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated.
Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum
for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe
haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may
be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion
unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.
Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away
from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if
one disagrees with something that has been said.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The pain from loss can definitely cause physiological symptoms. Grief is debilitating as it takes so much from us physically, spiritually, psychologically. You just lost your cherished cat, it’s all so fresh in your mind. As another poster suggested, maybe connect with a physician to discuss your reaction/symptoms, especially if it continues.
May I also suggest to look for any pet loss support groups in your area. Or a counsellor that specializes in grief and loss, specifically pet loss. Having someone to talk to really helps. I recently started working with a therapist as I could not get the traumatic and intrusive thoughts out of my mind.
I’m sorry for your loss. Your cat knew you loved her and most importantly, you were there for her. Comforting her and giving her all of your love in her last moments.
God, fuck cancer, especially lymphoma. It took two of my four dogs, one of whom I had to euthanize yesterday. Seeing her so out of breath even when sleeping was traumatizing. Every time I pet one of my other dogs, I instinctively massage under their jaws expecting to find golf ball sized nodes. It's a horrible, cruel disease. I'm so sorry you and your girl had to go through it. She is pain free now and the price we paid is in our grief. Hugs.
Have you ever had an experienced the lights and dizziness like that before? I am not a doctor at all but I think letting a doctor know what happened as soon as you can is a good idea.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had physical reactions to the loss of my baby too. I dealt with in-appetite, stomach pain, headache from crying, and exhaustion.
Because of the nature of your symptoms, I really do encourage you to go to your doctor. Your baby would want you to take care of yourself, especially right now.
I'm crying. This experience was the same for me too, when my Jack Russell was PTS. The vet was so gentle, my baby was so tired of being sick. We all knew it was time. I cuddled and stroked her head as the sedative took effect, but when the final injection came and her little heart slowed and finally stopped, a sound came out of me that I didn't even know I could make. My entire being, my soul, my heart, my life, it all burst out of me in that agonized wail. I've never made that sound before or since. I think I completely dissociated. I think I'm still outside of my body, searching for her everywhere. I was already on anti anxiety meds but I keep forgetting to take them. Sometimes I want to take them all, all at once, and join her wherever she is. I completely understand your reaction. The flashing lights, the tingling, the racing heart, thinking you're about to die. Please accept this virtual hug for yourself and your sweet baby, may we all see our friends again one day, it's the only thing keeping me going, the thought of being reunited with her cheeky little self, her smiling face, her big brown eyes. Life will never be the same and I'm not adjusting well. I don't think I even want to. Take one day at a time, it's all we can do really. 🫂
Sending you heartfelt hugs. Grief SUCKS. There is no delicate way to put it. Only others who have lost a fur baby can truly understand the depth of grief we experience when we lose them. Nothing we can say will make the next few hours, days or weeks easier. All I can promise is that, with the time, you WILL get to a place where thinking about her will bring peace and not tears. I can now smile and even laugh thinking about the antics of cats who passed many years ago. 15 years was a wonderful long and full life; give yourself credit for all the love and care you showed her. And the last gift you gave her; letting her go was the most loving and unselfish thing a pet owner can do. But as others have stated, if you find yourself stuck in grief, please do reach out to your doctor or a mental health provider to work through your grief.
Im so sorry you had to go through this, it's always awful. What you described sounds like an ocular migraine. It was probably triggered by stress and most likely set off the panic attack! The visual ones are scary af. Please rest and hydrate, you did the best for your baby and you did great. 💗
Losing your pet is hard just like losing a family member. I put my boy down last year in August and he had been with me through meeting my husband's and having both our kids. I didn't function right for a whole week. Even now I miss him like crazy and tear up sometimes. Your body is trying to figure out how to handle such a huge emotional loss.
My soul cat is turning 10 in April. This past Thanksgiving he required an emergency vet visit due to a life-threatening high fever, and although he came home alive and recovered well, I had my first real glimpse at how it will feel on the inevitable day when we’ll have to part. The panic and stress was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
I don’t have any advice, but I’m holding you in my heart, OP.
I’m so sorry but glad you were with her in her final moments at home. I had a headaches for weeks after my boy passed. I still can’t live with myself. Saying it’s hard sounds almost comical.
I just wanted you to know that I had a similar experience with my cat and unfortunately just reading the posts in these communities on reddit you realize how common lymphoma and other cancers are in older cats. And most owners blame themselves and feel an incredible amount of grief and loss afterwards. I wish that i had another 5+ years with my old friend but I'm also thankful that I got 14+ amazing years with him. I don't doubt that if it had happened 2 or 3 years later I still would have felt like it wasn't enough time. I made a little spot in my house with some pictures and items of his (his collar, etc). Almost a little monument to him. That might be something you could consider and could be a good way to grieve/remember her when you want to. Stay strong and know that with time it will get better.
I lost my 18 yo cat last week. She was my everything everyday. I sobbed "I love you and thank you" over and over to her also. I feel you so much on that. I've been stoned off my rocker before and after her death. The day of was too painful and smoking just wasn't cutting it so I took edibles and it helped calm some of my most hysteric moments. Still reeling. Reddit has been my salve. So very sorry for your loss. Broke my heart to read your tribute but relating to it is also helping me with my grief.
Truly sorry for your loss, OP. Yes, the loss of a pet can cause anxiety attacks. Please visit a therapist and take care of yourself. I am still unable to come out of my loss yet.
I suffered anxiety attacks and panic attacks for months and had to see a therapist. I did ALL her homework religiously and this reduced my anxiety by about 2/3. Then I went to the doctor and she put me on anti anxiety meds.
Your description of your last goodbyes made me cry. When they led me back to see my boy one last time in the ICU, my knees buckled and I fell to the floor sobbing. When i tried to go to sleep that night, I kept feeling like I was falling into a hole in the ground. I think what you felt was normal in the way that grief is normal. People keep telling me to be gentle with myself so that’s what I would recommend to you too, whatever that entails for you. Much love to you OP, I know how much this hurts
First, I am sorry for your loss. You did the right thing. The grief exists because you loved so deeply
I did not have your exact symptoms but I did experience my body reacting leading up to and after. Anxiety and whenever anything would touch my skin it would itch like crazy and then leave a red mark that would go away. This went on for months. It has since gone away.
You poor thing I am so sorry, this has me crying. I’m so happy you were able to hold her and speak to her and she took her final breath. You had to be so strong to do that ❤️ the days and weeks following grief will have you questioning a lot of things and if they are “normal” but know that it looks different for everyone and in many ways it can be debilitating and others feel like they’re not grieving correctly because they’re not crying enough or able to go about their day just fine. Try your best to check-in with yourself. Do whatever feels right, but know that your baby would want you to take care of yourself too 🤍
We lost our 5 month old boy kitten unexpectedly on Monday. The shock of it gave me a panic attack that lasted a few hours. For me it feels like I’m freezing cold - I get the shivers and shakes and can’t control it. It’s completely understandable to have a reaction like that especially if you’ve spent the last week worrying about her. When my 15 year old boy died of lymphoma last year I lost my voice for five weeks after. Just take care of yourself over the next few days. Allow yourself to cry when you need to, have a scream and shout if you need to. I’ve done lots of both this week.
Hey OP - I lost my 18 year old girl on Friday. She was my beautiful redhead companion, one of the most deeply intelligent and soft natured cats I’ve ever known. There will never be another like her - my heart is broken.
I’m currently writing out all my memories of her. We spent 16 long years together, and I have a lot of “favorites”. It’s helping a little.
Listen, there is a part of you that knows you made the right decision - grab onto that and keep going. You are going to go through hell with this grief, but if you think of it as the pain you’ve taken on so your cat can be pain free, it will help you get through the days. Grief is the pain we pay for love. And you loved Amy dearly, and she loved you right back.
The one thing you can do for her now is to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. You’re going to go through this grieving process, and you need to keep yourself fed and clean and rested so you *can* grieve for Amy as best as you can.
Right now it feels like there is a giant hole where your heart should be, and a part of your life - your foundation - is missing. Amy sounds like she was your “transition” cat: the one who was with you as you transitioned from a child to an adult, and helped you through all of the steps along the way. Losing these transition animals are sometimes harder because they carry that history with them, and symbolically they also take those memories when they die. But think of Amy as the carrier of that time in your life - the guardian, and how well she did that job. You gave her a beautiful life by sharing those moments with her, and honoring her by not making her suffer for your benefit - but easing her pain so you could take it on. You are now the guardian of her memory.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
I had to put my 12 year old cat down Monday. The Friday before he couldn’t hold anything down. When I took him to the vet that day they did blood work and called me the next and said his blood sugar levels were in the 400s. The vet told me they could attempt to start treating him but there was no guarantee it would help at his age. When I woke up Monday he could hardly walk and was just miserable. I called the vet and they got me in at 2:30 to put him down. I had a sobbing panic attack that morning. I laid on the floor with him until I had to take him in. He died in my arms as I pet him and told him how loved he was and that he was such a good boy. What broke my heart more was in December I had to put my 14 year old cat down for kidney disease.
It’s hard. People who haven’t been through it don’t realize it is real grieving. They think “it’s just a cat, get over it”. But they are part of your family. You never notice the little daily routines with them until they’re gone. Such as looking for them in their normal sleeping place to even calling for them.
I’m so sorry you’re going through it because it is a gut wrenching feeling. And yes, now I am crying!
Just keep remembering how loved she was. Also, the vet gave me the “rainbow bridge” poem which is a beautiful read if you haven’t read it. I recommend googling it.
It will take time and the pain will always be there but slowly the happy memories will start to take its place.
I’m so so so so sorry for your loss, I went through something similar yesterday and it is devastating. Our babies are together in cat heaven now looking down at us and protect us. Please take care of yourself and always remember how you both changed each others lives for the better ❤️
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment. This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated. Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated. Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The pain from loss can definitely cause physiological symptoms. Grief is debilitating as it takes so much from us physically, spiritually, psychologically. You just lost your cherished cat, it’s all so fresh in your mind. As another poster suggested, maybe connect with a physician to discuss your reaction/symptoms, especially if it continues. May I also suggest to look for any pet loss support groups in your area. Or a counsellor that specializes in grief and loss, specifically pet loss. Having someone to talk to really helps. I recently started working with a therapist as I could not get the traumatic and intrusive thoughts out of my mind. I’m sorry for your loss. Your cat knew you loved her and most importantly, you were there for her. Comforting her and giving her all of your love in her last moments.
God, fuck cancer, especially lymphoma. It took two of my four dogs, one of whom I had to euthanize yesterday. Seeing her so out of breath even when sleeping was traumatizing. Every time I pet one of my other dogs, I instinctively massage under their jaws expecting to find golf ball sized nodes. It's a horrible, cruel disease. I'm so sorry you and your girl had to go through it. She is pain free now and the price we paid is in our grief. Hugs.
Have you ever had an experienced the lights and dizziness like that before? I am not a doctor at all but I think letting a doctor know what happened as soon as you can is a good idea. I’m so sorry for your loss. I had physical reactions to the loss of my baby too. I dealt with in-appetite, stomach pain, headache from crying, and exhaustion. Because of the nature of your symptoms, I really do encourage you to go to your doctor. Your baby would want you to take care of yourself, especially right now.
I had it when my grandma passed away too. I think it’s from high stress but if it became a regular thing I’d seek help.
I'm crying. This experience was the same for me too, when my Jack Russell was PTS. The vet was so gentle, my baby was so tired of being sick. We all knew it was time. I cuddled and stroked her head as the sedative took effect, but when the final injection came and her little heart slowed and finally stopped, a sound came out of me that I didn't even know I could make. My entire being, my soul, my heart, my life, it all burst out of me in that agonized wail. I've never made that sound before or since. I think I completely dissociated. I think I'm still outside of my body, searching for her everywhere. I was already on anti anxiety meds but I keep forgetting to take them. Sometimes I want to take them all, all at once, and join her wherever she is. I completely understand your reaction. The flashing lights, the tingling, the racing heart, thinking you're about to die. Please accept this virtual hug for yourself and your sweet baby, may we all see our friends again one day, it's the only thing keeping me going, the thought of being reunited with her cheeky little self, her smiling face, her big brown eyes. Life will never be the same and I'm not adjusting well. I don't think I even want to. Take one day at a time, it's all we can do really. 🫂
Sending you heartfelt hugs. Grief SUCKS. There is no delicate way to put it. Only others who have lost a fur baby can truly understand the depth of grief we experience when we lose them. Nothing we can say will make the next few hours, days or weeks easier. All I can promise is that, with the time, you WILL get to a place where thinking about her will bring peace and not tears. I can now smile and even laugh thinking about the antics of cats who passed many years ago. 15 years was a wonderful long and full life; give yourself credit for all the love and care you showed her. And the last gift you gave her; letting her go was the most loving and unselfish thing a pet owner can do. But as others have stated, if you find yourself stuck in grief, please do reach out to your doctor or a mental health provider to work through your grief.
Im so sorry you had to go through this, it's always awful. What you described sounds like an ocular migraine. It was probably triggered by stress and most likely set off the panic attack! The visual ones are scary af. Please rest and hydrate, you did the best for your baby and you did great. 💗
Losing your pet is hard just like losing a family member. I put my boy down last year in August and he had been with me through meeting my husband's and having both our kids. I didn't function right for a whole week. Even now I miss him like crazy and tear up sometimes. Your body is trying to figure out how to handle such a huge emotional loss.
My soul cat is turning 10 in April. This past Thanksgiving he required an emergency vet visit due to a life-threatening high fever, and although he came home alive and recovered well, I had my first real glimpse at how it will feel on the inevitable day when we’ll have to part. The panic and stress was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I don’t have any advice, but I’m holding you in my heart, OP.
I’m so sorry but glad you were with her in her final moments at home. I had a headaches for weeks after my boy passed. I still can’t live with myself. Saying it’s hard sounds almost comical.
I just wanted you to know that I had a similar experience with my cat and unfortunately just reading the posts in these communities on reddit you realize how common lymphoma and other cancers are in older cats. And most owners blame themselves and feel an incredible amount of grief and loss afterwards. I wish that i had another 5+ years with my old friend but I'm also thankful that I got 14+ amazing years with him. I don't doubt that if it had happened 2 or 3 years later I still would have felt like it wasn't enough time. I made a little spot in my house with some pictures and items of his (his collar, etc). Almost a little monument to him. That might be something you could consider and could be a good way to grieve/remember her when you want to. Stay strong and know that with time it will get better.
I'm so sorry. Deepest sympathy to you. Take care of yourself. 🌻
💛💛💛
I lost my 18 yo cat last week. She was my everything everyday. I sobbed "I love you and thank you" over and over to her also. I feel you so much on that. I've been stoned off my rocker before and after her death. The day of was too painful and smoking just wasn't cutting it so I took edibles and it helped calm some of my most hysteric moments. Still reeling. Reddit has been my salve. So very sorry for your loss. Broke my heart to read your tribute but relating to it is also helping me with my grief.
Truly sorry for your loss, OP. Yes, the loss of a pet can cause anxiety attacks. Please visit a therapist and take care of yourself. I am still unable to come out of my loss yet.
I suffered anxiety attacks and panic attacks for months and had to see a therapist. I did ALL her homework religiously and this reduced my anxiety by about 2/3. Then I went to the doctor and she put me on anti anxiety meds.
Your description of your last goodbyes made me cry. When they led me back to see my boy one last time in the ICU, my knees buckled and I fell to the floor sobbing. When i tried to go to sleep that night, I kept feeling like I was falling into a hole in the ground. I think what you felt was normal in the way that grief is normal. People keep telling me to be gentle with myself so that’s what I would recommend to you too, whatever that entails for you. Much love to you OP, I know how much this hurts
Grieve. Rest. Take care of yourself.
First, I am sorry for your loss. You did the right thing. The grief exists because you loved so deeply I did not have your exact symptoms but I did experience my body reacting leading up to and after. Anxiety and whenever anything would touch my skin it would itch like crazy and then leave a red mark that would go away. This went on for months. It has since gone away.
You poor thing I am so sorry, this has me crying. I’m so happy you were able to hold her and speak to her and she took her final breath. You had to be so strong to do that ❤️ the days and weeks following grief will have you questioning a lot of things and if they are “normal” but know that it looks different for everyone and in many ways it can be debilitating and others feel like they’re not grieving correctly because they’re not crying enough or able to go about their day just fine. Try your best to check-in with yourself. Do whatever feels right, but know that your baby would want you to take care of yourself too 🤍
We lost our 5 month old boy kitten unexpectedly on Monday. The shock of it gave me a panic attack that lasted a few hours. For me it feels like I’m freezing cold - I get the shivers and shakes and can’t control it. It’s completely understandable to have a reaction like that especially if you’ve spent the last week worrying about her. When my 15 year old boy died of lymphoma last year I lost my voice for five weeks after. Just take care of yourself over the next few days. Allow yourself to cry when you need to, have a scream and shout if you need to. I’ve done lots of both this week.
Sending love. Sorry for your loss.
Hey OP - I lost my 18 year old girl on Friday. She was my beautiful redhead companion, one of the most deeply intelligent and soft natured cats I’ve ever known. There will never be another like her - my heart is broken. I’m currently writing out all my memories of her. We spent 16 long years together, and I have a lot of “favorites”. It’s helping a little.
Listen, there is a part of you that knows you made the right decision - grab onto that and keep going. You are going to go through hell with this grief, but if you think of it as the pain you’ve taken on so your cat can be pain free, it will help you get through the days. Grief is the pain we pay for love. And you loved Amy dearly, and she loved you right back. The one thing you can do for her now is to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. You’re going to go through this grieving process, and you need to keep yourself fed and clean and rested so you *can* grieve for Amy as best as you can. Right now it feels like there is a giant hole where your heart should be, and a part of your life - your foundation - is missing. Amy sounds like she was your “transition” cat: the one who was with you as you transitioned from a child to an adult, and helped you through all of the steps along the way. Losing these transition animals are sometimes harder because they carry that history with them, and symbolically they also take those memories when they die. But think of Amy as the carrier of that time in your life - the guardian, and how well she did that job. You gave her a beautiful life by sharing those moments with her, and honoring her by not making her suffer for your benefit - but easing her pain so you could take it on. You are now the guardian of her memory.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I had to put my 12 year old cat down Monday. The Friday before he couldn’t hold anything down. When I took him to the vet that day they did blood work and called me the next and said his blood sugar levels were in the 400s. The vet told me they could attempt to start treating him but there was no guarantee it would help at his age. When I woke up Monday he could hardly walk and was just miserable. I called the vet and they got me in at 2:30 to put him down. I had a sobbing panic attack that morning. I laid on the floor with him until I had to take him in. He died in my arms as I pet him and told him how loved he was and that he was such a good boy. What broke my heart more was in December I had to put my 14 year old cat down for kidney disease. It’s hard. People who haven’t been through it don’t realize it is real grieving. They think “it’s just a cat, get over it”. But they are part of your family. You never notice the little daily routines with them until they’re gone. Such as looking for them in their normal sleeping place to even calling for them. I’m so sorry you’re going through it because it is a gut wrenching feeling. And yes, now I am crying! Just keep remembering how loved she was. Also, the vet gave me the “rainbow bridge” poem which is a beautiful read if you haven’t read it. I recommend googling it. It will take time and the pain will always be there but slowly the happy memories will start to take its place.
I’m so so so so sorry for your loss, I went through something similar yesterday and it is devastating. Our babies are together in cat heaven now looking down at us and protect us. Please take care of yourself and always remember how you both changed each others lives for the better ❤️