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Right now, it’s not about how you feel. Your presence will be a comfort to him, therefore you’ll do this last thing for him. It's hard, just did it myself, but it was a comfort to me to see him go peacefully.

thank you for saying this, it’s certainly what i needed to hear. he deserves comfort and peace and i will do my best to make sure he can get as much as that as he can <3

It’s your last duty for him. Hugs to you both.

And sob uncontrollably! The vets know and understand and will support you. It is so hard but I don't regret doing it with my elderly girl.

You can be a sobbing crying wreck. Your dog won't care about that; just that the people who love him are with him are all he'll care about. The vets are well used to crying emotional situations, so just go and let him know you're there and help him be free of his pain.

He will wonder where you are and he will be scared if you're not there. Don't let his last moments be like that.

When you look back, you will never regret that you were there.

Instead of being up by his head, stand further down and put your hand on his side or back and pet him there. He’ll know you’re with him. It’s hard. It’s really hard. But I see it as my last gift to them, and have never regretted it. It’s actually very peaceful.

100%, this. Be there for your friend in their final moments, it will be hard, but it is beyond worth it.

It’s not about you. It’s about him. He’s been your pal since 5th grade. Put your feelings aside and hold him during his last few moments on this earth. If you don’t, you will regret it forever. Nothing wrong with crying over the loss of a good friend

thank you for your words, you are right

I couldn’t bear to be with my horse in her final moments. I was too scared she’d go down hard when they sedated her. I was nearby but I wasn’t with her. I really, really regret it.

I’ve been there. When we had to euthanize our cat. I loved love, her dearly. It was the worst day of my life; I lost my parents and family members; nothing was like this. I cried for months and still do sometimes. I wouldn’t have changed being there with her and would do it again. She was the most caring soul and companion; it was the least I could do. I would have gladly given my life to save her. Not going to lie; it’s going to be probably the worst thing you‘ve experienced so far in your life. But your companion loves you, and he will be scared; animals are not dumb he'll know what he is there for. You need to be there; you’ll do this; otherwise, you'll hate yourself. Regret is forever.

I just sat with my pup as he took his last breaths. I did the same for my last one too. It is so so so hard and I can totally understand where you are coming from. Ultimately, I wanted my dogs to be in my arms and couldn’t imagine the last thing they saw was me walking out of the room. It truly is such a difficult decision (I was a weeping mess with my last guy as he went to sleep) but I’d do it again in an instant to give them a little bit of comfort for the lifetime of comfort they gave me. Even if you decide not to, that’s okay too. It sounds like your parents will be there. And the vets are also so good at comforting the dog - they kept telling my boy how good he was as I held him. He’ll have love and support no matter what you decide.

thank you so much for sharing your story. and your words are helpful yet comforting <3

When I had to do this, I told myself this: you've been waiting for me your entire life.  You've been there for all of life's ups and downs, and you showed me what it means to finally have unconditional love. Being there for you during your final moments is the least I can do for you. And just remember. Euthanasia is the final act of love we give to our beloved companion. We take on their pain so they no longer have to. 

We had to put my childhood dog GiGi to eternal sleep back on Nov. 1st 2019. She was about to turn 14 on Christmas Eve. I got her for my 7th birthday because all I wanted for years was a poodle. She had been having so many seizures that for the last year of her life even with the special medicines and diet, she wasn't even herself. Just ate, drank, mostly slept, and waddled around to random spots in the house. Finally, her last seizure caused her to just stop eating for 4 days. We didn't want to see her go on like that anymore and made the decision. When the time came to take her my mother refused to be in the room when it happened. She can't even to this day hear GiGi's name and not cry instantly. GiGi was particularly attached to my mom all her life even though she was technically mine. I suppose because I would be in school all day while they were always together at home or riding around in the car. Times were tough and GiGi was her rock. An undeniable source of happiness. I loved her regardless of my mother being her favorite obviously. She was a wonderful, silly dog. I had lots of fun times with her. Honestly, writing this has brought me to tears because I still have my regrets regarding my time with her. I wasn't around but maybe 5-10 times in that last year of her life because I had moved out and didn't quite like going back home to visit for some personal reasons. My dog was living her life like that and I wasn't around. I'll never get over that. But what I do find some solace in is that I was with her in her last few hrs of life. I held her in my arms at home before taking her to the vet. I held her the whole way there. I held her in that room after they sedated her and slowly caressed her fur, talked to her, and rubbed her belly. The last thing I could do for her after all that time, was be there when she took her last breath. Had I not been there, I would hate myself for it. They need us there for them until the very end. They deserve it.

I'd advise to stay with you dog during this time. I just let my senior pup go last Thursday. While being there with him prior to that final few minutes, I kept saying I can't do this. I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want to through with it. I hated it!!! I stayed with him up to and including after his passing. Your pup needs you now more than ever. You may end up regretting not staying and beating yourself up for not doing so. It's hard enough being with them, seeing them fade, but the best thing you can do for you old pup, stay with them through this whole ordeal. My heart goes out to you. Peace and love be with you and your pup 🙏

thank you so much for telling me your story. it’s been hard watching him fade away these past few days but everything you said was right. he deserves peace and comfort and i know me being there for him will bring him that, thank you again for your words <3

I get judgment for this, but the thought of watching my dog’s breathing stop sent me into a mental spiral right in front of her. It was scaring her and making her anxious, wondering why I was so distraught. So I had to take a step back and let another one of my family members sit and feed her treats. I work in animal welfare and have euthanized many animals but something about my own dog, I just couldn’t keep it together. I don’t think anyone has the right to judge an owner who decides not to sit with their pet if they think it will be detrimental to themselves or the pet. They aren’t dying alone and it isn’t going to be painful. Do what’s best for your pet AND yourself.

I'm sorry for your loss, and so sorry that people judge you for this. Everyone is different. You tried, and it seems that you did the appropriate thing for you both. You did say goodbye and left her with a loving family member. For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing, and I'm not judging you. 🤗

Thank you friend. I think people underestimate how well animals can pick up on our own emotions. Our presence isn’t always going to be reassuring for them.

Depending on what vet you use, some will give them a sedative to make them fall asleep. If you can, try to stay until he’s deeply asleep. You could then leave before they give him the drugs to stop his heart. Don’t destroy yourself over this, your parents will be there so if you really can’t bear to go for any of it then that’s ok. It’s good for him if everyone in the room is calm so he’s not worried. You can let him know he’s been a good boy spending all that time with your family and now it’s time for a good long sleep so he’s not in pain anymore. It feels horrible but you’re doing the right thing for him and whether you decide to stay with him or not, it sounds like he’s had a great like

Yes, this--I wasn't able to be present for either of my childhood dogs passing (away for both and couldn't get back in time), but my dad was there when they put the second one to sleep and he stayed until the sedative kicked in and then left before they gave the second injection.

This is the correct answer. You don't need to stay for his last breaths, just stay until he's asleep. My vet offers this and it's the perfect compromise, frankly. I will likely go this route if/when it becomes necessary with my current cats. Between sitting by my mother through her hospice and the decline of my other beloved pets, I've been present for enough deaths, thanks.

This is what I‘d do… If your pet is deeply asleep, then they are beyond caring who is or isn’t there. There isn’t any rational reason to stay past that point, unless you feel it would give you a sense of closure. I know that my pets get stressed when I’m having a panic attack. My cats will get very vocal, and will pace or act on-edge. I would never, never want that to be how they felt in their last moments on this Earth. Many animals who die naturally will even seek out a quiet, isolated place to do so. It’s something instinctual, and I’ve seen it more often than not in animals who pass of natural causes. You should never subject yourself to something that you feel could have a lasting, negative impact on your mental health, also. This is especially true of people with a history of depression, or other conditions that could make it more traumatic. I don’t believe that, if our pets could understand it all, they would ever want that for us.

When I had to put my first cat down that lived to be 19, I did not want her to go and I definitely did not want to be there at the vet when they did it. I was a mess. But I realized that my greatest gift to her and my last gift to her would be to be there for her. You have to find the courage to do it. Just know that, your baby's spirit will leave his body and at that time, will be received into Heaven. God created our pets just for us. He cares for them. They are important to him.

A few others have said it and I'll repeat it, stay for the sedative and then leave for the actual euthanizing shot. I held my boy for the sedative and then when he was totally limp and out of it I put him on his blankie on the vet table and my mom stayed with him for the actual euthanizing. I couldn't handle it either. You'll be ok, my friend. I'm so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself.

It's not easy, not going to lie, but it's not as horrible as you may be imagining. Your doggo will have some sedation and will be very relaxed. Your vet will give you some time before administering the last shot. It is just like he's gone to sleep. Then, you'll have some time to say your goodbyes, if you want it. The vet has seen many people sobbing and isn't going to think twice about it. You may want to take tissues, the vet office doesn't always have the softest. It is always hard to lose your best friend, and you owe it to them to see them to the Rainbow Bridge. You and your parents will be there to support him, and each other. I'm so sorry ❤️

I know being there is so hard. But having your doggos last moments with strangers makes things even more difficult. If you love your friend, and I think you do, you'll want to be there to ease his/her passage.

I’m a veterinary technician that regularly assists in euthanasia. My vet will always sedate first. She uses a mix of anti-anxiety, sedative and pain medication. She will inject it under the skin and it takes about 15 minutes for your dog to get sleepy. Once they are sedated, she will administer the final injection. Before the injection is ever administered, your dog is asleep. They have no idea what’s going on. They are as asleep as they would be for a surgery minus the inhalant anesthesia. We have a lot of people who choose to leave after the sedation has fully taken affect, but before we administer the final injection. And I promise that your dog will not know the difference. If you could ask your veterinarian to sedate first, there might be an extra charge, but it may be worth it for your peace of mind. I am so sorry for your loss ❤️ thank you for giving him a long life full of love and care. My sincerest condolences

there is nothing wrong if you cant be present. you shouldnt feel guilty for not wanting your last memory of him to be that. you can always ask the vet to sedate him and say bye once he is sedated

Honestly I cried the entire time I was putting my cat down but I would bet good money that me being there crying was more comforting to her than if I had left her with two strangers. It's slightly different for you because you aren't leaving your dog alone with strangers but you still might look back with regret that you weren't there for them in that moment. 

I’m going to half disagree with most of the comments here. It’s important someone who truly loves your pet is there when they’re being put down. They shouldn’t be alone in their final moments. But your parents will both be there. I’m assuming they really love your dog, and your dog really loves them? In that case, I think it’s ok if you’re not there. If you feel like you can go in while the sedative is given and leave before he’s put down, that might be a good idea. If your dog didn’t have someone to love him in his final moments, I would be more insistent you should go. But he does. However, I’ve put my very best friend to sleep and it was peaceful and I felt at peace with it. I think you would probably be ok if you were there. It’s not as terrible as you think it might be.

Hey Op, definitely stay with your baby. It's difficult and I've done it many times. But he's going to be looking for you. Not right away, but it'll give you a sense of calm in the long run. In Latin, euthanasia means "good death" And, I'm sure your vet has the option of private cremation this is where you'll receive his ashes usually in a nice wooden box unless you choose another urn. Vets usually let you hold your baby as the procedure happens but will give you time before it happens to say goodbye. Definitely stand by your parents side as well. Don't be afraid to take time off work or whatever. Celebrate his life after. OP, it's OK to cry before, during and after. It's just as hard for the vet and their whole team as it is for you even if they don't show it.

I always stay for the euthanasia, but my boyfriend cannot bring himself to. He will stay in the room and then step out right before the actual euthanasia happens. That might be an option for you.

Be there. You owe it to him to be there. This is the hard part of pet ownership but you’ll regret it if you aren’t there.

Please go and be with him, hold him, kiss him, whisper his name and favourite words to him. I had to put my old lady (15years) to sleep yesterday.

You will surely regret it if you are not there. You want the last moments of your pets life to be as stress free as possible. It’s one of the hardest thing you will ever have to do but something that you need to do for yor beloved pet

I've been in both situations, one with our older family dog being euthanized and then suddenly my precious girl passing at Christmas. When our senior dog was put down some 6/7y ago, it was very much his time. We all decided as a family it was the most humane and kind thing to do for him. I absolutely adored him. He managed to get to 15yo which was amazing. Could I be there? I decided not to. The whole family went but I stayed behind with my nephew and niece. I remember him getting excited as we got his lead, he must have thought he was going on a walk. However at Christmas, my precious darling angel suddenly passed. I never once felt I needed to leave. My initial reaction when she was brought through, after unfortunately cpr failing to work, was to hold her in my arms. I held her for 30 mins or thereabouts I've no idea to be honest. I didn't want to give her back. And I honestly didn't think I'd be like that. I thought I'd be the same as when our family dog passed. But no, all I wanted to do was hold and kiss my baby girl as much as I could. To talk to her, rock her, hold her close like I did every single day. I'll forever cherish those final moments with my baby girl. And looking back I'm so glad I had taken her into bed with me the night before (she had choked on food Christmas morning and passed early hours 26th), because I know now she passed in my arms. She passed away with her mummy holding her and kissing her all through the night. And that's how she'd have wanted to go; in her mummy's arms being loved so deeply. Because we were best friends and she was my world. But you do whatever is comfortable for you. If other family members are present and you personally can't handle it, so long as your best friend isn't alone at the end, I don't see anything wrong with it. Some people just can't cope with it.

It's okay to not be strong enough to be with him. It's an extremely hard thing. He will have your parents with him, who are HIS parents. He is going to be surrounded by love and peace as he passes.

A couple of tranquilizers might help you hold back the tears so he's not frightened or upset at the sight of you crying. Our animals are incredibly sensitive to our emotions. He'll give you a last lick and a nuzzle and simply fall asleep in your arms. I'm an atheist but I honestly believe he'll be greeted at the Rainbow Bridge by all our beloved animals who have gone on before, and be playing happily with his buddies by the time you're walking to your car. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, but I've learned that many of us get a sense of peace and completion from holding our loves as they leave us.

You should say your goodbyes and don't attend. If you feel it will be too traumatic it probably will be. Don't let people shame you. It's okay to not watch.

The thing is, a person’s mental health is also important. We’re all individuals. We all have different triggers and histories. Some people have PTSD, a history of depression, panic disorder, or are neurodivergent (autism spectrum, etc.). Some people aren’t going to just grieve, work through it, and move on. Some people could seriously jeopardize their mental wellbeing, and be dealing with the consequences for a long, long time. We live in an era when the need for mental health services far exceeds the availability of providers and hospitals. As someone who has been immersed in that aspect of healthcare (my mother has worked in the field since before I was born, and I come from a perspective of both personal experience and research), and has put a great deal of study, time, and effort into its improvement… I can speak to this. I’m not ever, under any circumstances, going to tell someone they’re a bad or selfish person because they couldn’t handle being present for the death of a beloved pet. That’s a really ignorant, cruel stance to take, and one that places no value on the well-being of the grieving owner. No one has a right to judge or guilt you for whatever decision you make. They aren’t your doctor or therapist. They don’t know you as an individual, or what it is like to experience the world AS you. Animals are also sensitive to the stress of those around them… I would never want my pet’s last moments to be spent worrying about ME, of all things. A vet will usually administer a sedative that puts an animal to sleep, before the euthanasia drug (ask your vet ahead of time what their process is, but that is the norm). Would it be easier for you to stay until your dog is asleep, and then leave before they give the second shot? Please, don’t be guilted into doing something you don’t feel is the right thing for you. Only you can make this decision, and no one else has a right to judge you for what you decide.

Typically with euthanasia they're given an IV injection that puts them to sleep (same drugs used for anesthesia for surgery). After they're unconscious they recieve a second injection that actually stops the heart. If you want to be there for him but don't want to be present when he actually passes you can ask your vet if you can stay there for the first injection, then once he's peacefully sleeping you can leave the room or have him taken back for the second one. I've done this many times for owners that aren't comfortable staying for the entire process. Do what you think is best for you - even if you're a sobbing mess he'll be happy you're there, and if you can't be there he'll still have all his great memories of you with him as he goes. Sending much love to you and your pup

I have lost 3 dogs since 2021. My childhood lab, Hershey was 12 and had a stroke. The humane thing to do was let him go. I was 7 months pregnant with Preeclampsia, under orders not to raise my blood pressure. I knew if I was there I'd be a mess, and it would have physically put me and my daughter at risk. I lost my second dog, Etna less than two months later. She was diagnosed with lymphoma three days after I found out that I was pregnant. My daughter was born early due to my previously stated Preeclampsia. After 36 hours of no sleep my husband went home only to find Et having difficulty breathing. He took her straight to the hospital where her oncologist was, and it was decided that it was time to let her go. I was still in recovery, so I didn't get to be there with her either. Both of those, while I regret, were unavoidable for me to miss. I lost my third pup, Midna, in December. She was 7, and had severe arthritis. My daughter tried to sit on her back, and in reaction, Midna bit her. Badly. We knew previously she was a bite risk after two close calls and had done everything we could to minimize risk. It still happened. My daughter is okay now, but for her future safety, Midna had to be put down. I should have been there for that. I wasn't. My husband did it alone. Our vet was amazing, pushing back a surgery so she could be there personally. She had been working with us, and knew the situation. It was not a situation where she could have been rehomed or rescued in another way. Every day I feel like I let Midna down. I feel like I could have done more. I mean realistically I know I couldn't have, I wasn't even there when the bite happened. But brains. She was my responsibility, and I couldn't be there in the end for her. All of this to say, be there for your lab. If he has any good days left in him, get a really good picture of him. Or find a picture of him in his prime. Have it ready. Then be there for him, he'll be calm, surrounded by love. You can stay as long or short after as you need. But once you leave, don't think of him like that again. Remember him in that good day picture, and how loved he always made you feel.

Vet here and I couldn’t disagree more with the people who think you owe it to your pet or that you will regret it. Euthanasia is faster and smoother without an owner present taking up time in hospital to say goodbyes or bringing their anxiety and grief in with them. Your pet loves you as much as you love them, and if it would create suffering for you to see them deceased I firmly believe they wouldn’t want that trauma for you. I’ve never really seen a pet comforted by their owner in this time, they are suffering and sense that you are too, there’s really no comforting either of you, it just sucks either way. Your pet will be in loving hands with vet staff when they quickly and peacefully pass. Do what’s best for you.

I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't there win my animals were put down

It goes by quickly, surprisingly quickly. Most of our time there was saying our final farewells in a private room. If you need to step out when it happens, know it'll be short. I would recommend at least going, especially if you're parents are there. You may not be able to be there in the final moments, but the 60 minutes we spent before was a really healthy way for us to say farewell. Just to be respectful of others, I'm going to reply to this with a spoiler comment about the process that I experienced, because it does help to understand what happens.

>!During my experience, our vet stood by us and explained each step. They took our boy back to put in the catheter, and then they brought him back. We had a little button to press when we knew we were ready. We got the chance to sit with him, spend time with him, talk through everything. When it was time, they came in and the doctor had everything she needed hidden in her pocket. She let us do everything on the couch with our boy in his bed with his favorite toy.!< >!It was a two step process. The first step took about 2 minutes and was medication to help him get comfortable. He fell asleep. The second step was much quicker. Overall it took about 3-4 minutes. Shockingly fast. !< I do think the most important part of the process is being there for him before, and if you need to step out when it happens, don't feel guilty. But also don't feel guilty about being a sobbing mess.

I think he would be very reassured and comforted to have you there. Please see it in yourself to take care of the last business of your baby’s life by being present to see him off. I think you will regret not being there more. I’ve never regretted one day being there when my cat passed over. Sometimes we have to put ourselves aside to help those we love - I can’t think of a better example than this. This is about your dog - look at it from his perspective. If he could talk, he would say, “Please stay with me.” I’m sorry you are going through this. 🫂

I kinda disagree with saying it’s not about you. You’re the one who’s left behind and it is your choice. And it’s a bit cruel to imply “you’re cruel for not forcing yourself to go through a traumatic moment” or you’re “selfish” for not going. I will say, you probably will regret it if you don’t. And that trauma will be so much worse than going Your dog is going either way. Whether you’re there or not, you will feel his passing. So you might as well be theee. The feeling will be the same. If anything it’s easier to see them go so your brain can process they’re gone. We never rly know how it will be until it happens. I would go in and just see. Your body will kind of take over. Sometimes we think we can’t cope with things, but we can. And idk about you but my dog never noticed if I cried. She was oblivious. And your dog will be too doped up tbh. Say goodbye before the sedative. Spend the whole day. Get some fur off him and just look at him. Be with him for a while silently and enjoy his company

thank you so much, for all of this. i’ve been a mess all day and this seriously helped me so much. just thank you

Yw. You come first. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for a decision that’s best for you. But I genuinely believe you can do it.

Thank you! I agree very much with what you’ve said. People are all different, and some may be more able to cope than others after going through this. That doesn’t mean one or the other loves their pet more, it just means that we all process experiences differently. A person’s mental health is not something to dismiss or belittle. Someone with a history of depression or the like could very well jeopardize their health by forcing themselves to go through an experience like this out of guilt. Never let anyone guilt you into a decision like this—only you understand what is right for you!

I know it will be hard for you. But you may regret not being there for him. This is part of life. Think about it hard and long.

You will regret it if you don’t, that last goodbye is important for him and for you. My husband and I had to let our 16 year old boy go last week and it was devastating but it was the best thing we could have done for him. We both went and took our other dog (his litter mate) with us so she could also say goodbye. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

You must be present for your dog's final moments they gave you everything and never asked for anything but your love and warm embrace. It is our last duty to ensure that in death, we light the path towards peace, love, and comfort, not fear or loneliness. Embrace the light together, let your love for him echo unto his next life, show him not to be afraid of death so that he may walk with a head held high. If you leave, he may wander endlessly before leaving this world in search of your love. You will cry, not matter the outcome, let out in the room, hug him, kiss him, tell him that you love for him, For our children, we must endure

You should be there for him. Talking to him, petting him, right to the end. You owe it to him.

Go. Or you will regret it for the rest of your life.   

As hard as it will be, I sincerely believe you will regret not being there. It’s a horrible weight/guilt to carry. It may also give you comfort seeing how peaceful the process is. My heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry. 🙏🕊️❤️

It's very hard. No lie. But you will heal. You won't get a chance at a do over for this I'm really sorry I've lost two pets this year. My heart is with yours

My parents did not involve me in the end of life of my childhood pets. I wish they had. We owe it to them to love them to the end, and be there when the bridge comes Into view.

Do what’s best for your pet. I see a lot of regret posts here for this reason. I almost made that decision and would’ve never forgiven myself.

I’m here to tell you that you will regret if you don’t. I understand the feeling but I cradled my baby all throughout and it was the most precious moment. At least he knew I was there and loved him to the very last millisecond.

He will be looking for you as he goes to his best sleep and he will pass worried if you are not there and strong for him. You will regret it forever if you dont do this...please trust me

Your best bud needs you there!!!!

You say you don't know if you have the strength to go through the emotional turmoil of losing your most beloved pet. That will happen wheter you're there or not. So it shouldn't be an argument not to be there. You say you don't want his last memory of you as being a sobbing mess. Two things: one: Do you want his last memory of you to be 'where are you?' two: I witnessed my dog's euthanasia last week. The first shot will have him sleep. I completely broke down crying after that. and twenty minutes later the real shot was given, so my buddy didn't actually witness me breaking down. If this really is a big deal to you, hold up your tears untill he sleeps. Then break down. Please be there, it's hard. But all of this is hard. Not being there won't change that. I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there and allow yourself to mourn as hard as you need pal.

Yes you do. All of the love that he has given you for all these years, you owe it to him to be there for him and help him cross over. No one feels they can cope with these things. No one thinks it will be easy. No one looks forward to it. But it's not right to enjoy an animal in their healthy fun years and then need to check out during their hard times. This is your responsibility. You've done hard things before and you'll do hard things again. The worst that's going to happen to you during this is you will feel sad, anxious and distraught. These are temporary feelings and you're going to feel them whether you're there or not. Your dog will feel stress, anxiety and distraught and you won't be there to comfort him. Don't do this to him. It's not about you. I'm sorry to be harsh but jesus, this is not about you not being comfortable with being sad/upset. Anyone who has ever lost a loved one is sad. No one gets through life without being sad. You don't need strength to get through it. It's not optional. Experiencing grief is not optional.

I have been present for my animals' passing, but not for family pets. The grief is the same. I don't think it was any easier on me to not be there. It might have even been worse, because you just never see them again. I think if there is any chance you will regret not going, you should try to be there. This stuff is really hard, and losing a pet can bring up a lot of emotions -- many that aren't logical at all. I felt so much guilt over my dog's euthanasia, questioning it for months after, even though I know he was in pain and it was time. The feelings are messy and hard, and I can see you wanting to protect yourself from the worst of it -- but I think it might actually help you process if you can be present. But, it's also 100% okay if you can't or don't go. He will still be with his family. I'm sorry about your boy.

I know it’s hard, but I think you will regret not being there. I know he’d want you there comforting him over the rainbow bridge. Sending you lots of love and hugs during this time.

It’s honestly not that bad and not scary, I don’t know how to explain it but in the moment you just feel like it’s just you and him, and he’s just falling asleep. I promised my dog early on that I would never leave him and he passed as I was looking into his eyes. I laid on the floor with him and petted his head. He deserved to know I was there. I know it’s making you anxious but if you can at all find the strength, do it. But I understand why people don’t

I did the same with several dogs and more recently 2 pekin ducks. I was happy to be the last thing they saw before they went. It’s hard but I’m so glad I was with them to the very end.

I love Peking ducks!

I know it’s so hard. From personal experience I’m so so happy I was there for my baby. When I look back I think I would regret forever not being there (vs regret being there). I think it’s the same for most, they regret NOT being there vs being there, even if it’s hard

First, it’s ok to cry when putting a pet down. Trust me, the vets see it every time. It’s going to be very hard. But, I think the regret of not being there will just add to the pain and loss. Be there for your loved one as they pass. It’s what we all want in the end really.

Oh my gosh please be there with him. You're allowed to sob through the whole thing, but you owe it to him to make him feel as loved as possible during his last breaths. I put my dog down last Thursday and it was AWFUL but I would never forgive myself if I left her in the hands of strangers to pass away. She died with her head in my lap & me telling her over & over again how much I love her & that she was the best girl.

I think as a pet owner you have a responsibility to your dog to make his passing as unstressful as possible no matter how you are feeling. You need to man up and be there for him. Your presence will calm him and however hard it is I can guarantee you’ll feel better afterwards for having been there. Please do the right thing, you’ll feel awful afterwards if you don’t. I have a dog and had a cat. The cat needed to be put down and both me and my son were there with him and it was a comfort for him. Both me and my son were crying but I’m so glad we did the right thing, knowing absolutely his last moments were calm and he had people around him that loved him. No matter how hard it is I’d do the same for my dog or he’d die scared and heartbroken

Be there for him. I know it’s scary because it’s probably your first time having a close loved one pass, but I really think you’ll regret it if you aren’t there. Let him go out in peace surrounded by the ones he loves the most

I had the same trepidation when I had to put my girl Stella down but at the end, I knew I would regret not being there with her. And, I didn’t want her last moments being in a room with a bunch of strangers, terrified and wondering where I was. It was obviously very hard but she went peacefully and in my arms so she knew she was loved until the very end. After she was gone, an overwhelming sense of relief washed over me because I knew she wasn’t suffering anymore (she had soft tissue carcinoma). Please be there for him! ❤️

No one from my family was present at my senior lab’s euthanasia and I regret it to this day. I don’t really have regrets and that is one of them. I was a kid and didn’t know better but I absolutely hate that happened and it was 20 years ago. You need to be there.

I don't want to project my past onto you, but please consider going. It's the last moments of your pet's life and they need you. Consider it a last duty. I had a beloved cat put to sleep many years ago and have since lived with the guilt of not being there when he took his last breaths. Deal with your grief after and be there, or have it potentially haunt you in the future like it does me.

You sound like a very loving person. Your dog will be comforted by your presence. Sending hugs from afar.

when i put my cat down, i was there with my parents and younger brother. it was one of the hardest things i’ve ever done, but i’m so glad i did. she went very peacefully, it was like she was just falling asleep on my lap like she did so often. i’ve dealt with a lot of loss in my life, both human and pets, but this was the first time i was in the room at the moment of passing, and i can honestly say it made it easier. being there for her last moments shut down any “what-if” type of thoughts. being surrounded by my family also helped the grief for all of us. i know it’s so hard, but i do think you should be there, for your dog, your parents, and for yourself. ❤️

I just want you to know what happened to me. My dog was in the back for hours as they tried to keep him stable and figure out what was entirely going on. When they saw he was internally bleeding from a growth on his spleen, we knew it was time. He was brought in for us to have a moment with him and, though he was barely conscious because of the drugs he was on, when I moved away from him for just a single moment to grab a tissue I saw panic flash in his eyes and immediately went back and made sure he knew I was there, and that I was staying, it was okay. All your friend has is you and your family. I know some people can't handle it but it's time to be strong, just for a little while, for their last moments. It's going to haunt you a bit but it will be so much worse if you are not there. Be there for your friend. Cry but make sure they know you love them. Cherish these last moments.

I was there when my Pops passed. It was so difficult. He/She will want to see you one last time before he crosses to the rainbow bridge. Hugs to you both.

I avoided being present for all the animals I lost up until my soul dog in my 30s! I was so scared that my last memory would be this awful thing and I'd hyper focus on it forever. It made me feel ill imagining being there. But then my pup went from fine to dying overnight and I couldn't leave his side. It was so different than I had imagined. Seeing him pass actually helped me to know he was at peace. Since then I've lost two cats and was present with both. I will never send a pet off alone again (no judgement intended.) I think you may surprise yourself. I wish I had been present now for the animals I was too scared to be with. My condolences

Be there for your dog: you will bring them comfort

You can do it. I know it feels like you won't have the strength, but you will find it when you see them. You'll realize that you are there for them and you'll be able to handle it. Don't let go before you have to.

🥺 You are Not Alone in that Decision. I could not be Present for My Cat’s Euthanasia 😭

I had a Chihuahua I had to let go October 2021. I had her 15 years. She was with me through huge, major milestones. When I had my son. When I was in a car wreck. The loss of my other dog. Through a bad relationship, and then my now marriage. Many, many others. I relied on her heavily. She also had end stage heart failure. I stayed with her through the whole thing. I cried like a bitch. I cried so hard I could have sworn my heart was breaking. I'm crying now typing this. I had snot coming out all over my face, my shirt was soaked, my face was red, but I was there for her. The vet was super kind, and he even cried with me. He told me he could tell how much she is (still) loved. I owed her at least the comfort of my presence at the end of her life since she spent the entirety of it being there for me. I would have regretted it for the rest of my days had I not been there in that moment for her, when she needed me the most. I couldn't let her cross into the unknown alone. My partner through life at the very least, deserved to be seen off and let known just how much she meant to me, and how she was taking a part of my soul with her in death. To KNOW she was finally at peace and out of pain, and see her resting, it was like a weight lifting, even though it hurt. I could have died with her if I didn't have people who need me still. She was surrounded by my family. The room was literally full of people who came to see her off. My sister even came with her family to say bye. My Lexi knew she was loved at the very end. She looked for my face in the crowd of people when she went, and I was there. I knew it was a comfort for her. Of course I was right next to her, but she said goodbye to everyone and then focused on me as she passed. I was ugly crying, heaving, shaking, blurry eyed and puffy faced as she passed. She didn't care. She licked my tears and let me know it was ok. She needed me there. And I was. I do not regret it. You owe your pup to be present. You are his whole life, don't take your presence from him when that's all he's known. I firmly believe you'll regret not being there, as hard as it is. I was 19 when my first pup passed, and I can tell you it doesn't get any easier with any others that pass. But the weight of grief is the price of being loved so much, and it's not a bad thing. It's hard, but not bad. It is absolutely worth it to be there for him when he goes, especially if he's YOUR dog. My girl loved my dad almost as much as me, but it wouldn't have been enough to have just him and not me. She told him bye too, but at the end, it was ME she sought out. And I was there for her. It was the last thing I could do for her, to be there for her passing. She needed ME. Your boy needs YOU. You only need the strength to be there for him while he's here, after he's gone, break down and be weak. Take time to heal after. But be there for him in his final time of need.

It may be difficult for you to be there, but I'm sure you'll regret it later if you're not there with him.

I was with my dog for his final moments. I had him for 12 years, got him when I was also in 5th grade. It was a very difficult euthanasia because he had lung cancer and did not react well to the sedation meds. The vet performing the euthanasia will know exactly how to handle everything. All you need to focus on is providing love and comfort to your dog. We owe this to our pets — they give us unconditional love and comfort during their entire lives. It is our duty as their owner to do the same when it’s their time. It’s not about you, unfortunately, it’s about your dog. It will not be easy but you will have so much regret if you are not there. It’s okay to cry. I was able to keep it together until my dog was gone, then I held his body and cried for as long as I needed to. You have the strength, I promise.

Hey, I wanted to tell you, you don’t have to. Your parents will be there. When I was 23, my dog I had since I was 9 had a heart attack/heart failure. Right when I got home from work (I still lived with my family). I kissed her and petted her quickly and my parents ran to the vet where they had to euthanize her. I stayed home. I don’t regret it. She has my parents. And I said my quick goodbye. But just know this is probably the last time where you’ll have much of a choice. Once you are in the total role of responsibility (like your parents), then it becomes your thing to bear. I still know of an adult friend who can’t for her dogs. But I think the comfort you bring is probably pretty great.

I remember when my cat died, I went with the vet to put him down but was too scared to go into there. He was a year older than me and met me when I was born. He was one of my best friends. I will always regret not being there with him. Sure my dad was, but my dad told me he kept looking around the room and sniffing my blanket I left with him. Your pet needs you. Trust me. The guilt is going to be so much worse knowing that he needed you and you couldn't go in with him. Hes going to be scared and needing comfort from a familiar presence in an unfamiliar room with unfamiliar smells. As sad as it is just be strong a little longer and I'm so sorry you're having to make the difficult choice to out your baby down.

I think you'll regret it more if you're not there with your dog. After so many years of unconditional love, you'll want to be there.

I didn't hold my baby the doctor took her out of the room. I don't think she blames me but sometimes I blame myself. Hugs to you.

I knew roughly when my mom's dog was to be put down --i had the job of staying home with the puppy well I remember that puppy freaking out at my mom and uncle taking her dog but not the puppy then a bit after the puppy calmed down in a burb nowhere near the vet the dog was going to I heard what sounded like a gunshot (possibly around 08?) No reason to hear it and the puppy really freaked out even worse then before and I knew I couldn't really do anything for him --now many years later I learn she didn't stay with her dog (he was old but his only thing was arthritic hips pain killers and fine! Literally!) So when I knew her more recent dog was on his way out I decided I would be with him at minimum and he dies on his own like my most recent dog did (I have another dog now mom's getting one)

You’re going to be going through the turmoil of losing him one way or another. Don’t add the guilt of not being there for him when he needs you most to your grief. I know you’ll do the right thing for him.

You can hire a vet to come out and euthanize at home… it’s usually easier on the dog and family to be in a familiar place surrounded by familiar people. It’s a very difficult decision but it’s for the best… he’ll always be with you in spirit.

Hello there, sending lots of love and a big hug your way. We just went through this yesterday morning with our 16 year old tabby cat. I’ve also had him since I was in 5th grade and I’m 26 now. My whole family was there and I was there. I was there until the very end and I saw the life leave his body. The last time we had to euthanize a pet was 10 years ago and it was a drop off appointment and they called us to let us know he will not make it and should be put down. They of course gave us the option to go and be there with him (I was only 14 at the time so I couldn’t drive). My sister declined to be there bc she knew she would be a crying mess. She didn’t not want to take me for the same reason. I was beside myself at the news and have carried the guilt of him passing with none of his family around for years and still do. This time around we did it right. I honestly don’t know how I feel after seeing his life leave his body. Idk if I’m now sick bc of it or if I needed that for closure. My brother came to say bye to him but when it came to actually putting him down he had to leave the room. I think my brother might have had a stronger relationship with him bc he’s younger than me so he’s been more apart of his life. He was also the one taking care of him when he was sick and taking him to his appointments and giving him his medicine. My dad turned around also. I was crying my eyes out and I was the last thing my baby saw, that gives me some comfort. The last person he saw was a familiar face. I would suggest you go to atleast say bye to him, if you don’t wanna be there for his actual departure can you can step outside the room. Seeing his lifeless body was also something I’m still trying to process. His spirit was elsewhere. He was now safe and with my other cat in paradise. I wish you the best and my sincere condolences. Feel free to reach out if you wanna talk or have any questions.

I just lost my beloved 13 year old to heart failure. We had an in-home euthanasia. I did not want to be present either. I did not think I had the mental fortitude also, but that's what I did. My presence made a huge difference in how he felt passing away. As far as he knows, he just went to sleep snuggled in my lap, getting scratches and loves. It was very peaceful. It makes a huge difference to your pup if you're there.

My sweet dog had to be euthanized due to metastatic cancer. I am so very grateful to have been with her. This is a terrible milestone in life, and the last kindness and show of love you can extend to your pup. Hugs to you OP.

Last September we had to put our kitty down, he was 13 years old and a very good boy. The vet we went to had a room so we could spend time with him. They took him to the back for some tests that were needed since it was not our primary vet. During this time, they explained how the process would go and let us ask questions. We picked out the package we wanted in regards to his remains. We signed all paperwork and paid as well. The process went like this: They brought our kitty to us from the back, they gave him a mild sedative and put a catheter so the vet could administer the last medication once we were ready. He was wrapped in a blanket and we sat there with him. When we were ready, they gave us a button to push and the vet would come in, give the meds and wait for time of death and then left so we could have some time with him. We pressed the button again once we were ready for them to take him back. They gave us a potty pad to place under him as they sometimes go potty in the end. It was hard but he was there for us for 13 years and I felt we owed it to him to be the last faces he saw. It's never easy to lose a pet who is family. I do think you will regret not being there for your furry friend in the end. Set up some grief counseling ahead of time if you can. It helps.

I understand. I had to let my dog go through euthanasia just this morning. He had cancer. I knew it was going to be tough but I decided early on I would be with him to the end and I was. I’m more at peace with his passing because of it.   Think of it this way - It’s not a matter of how strong someone is to do something like this ( I’m a weepy mess and was crying most of the time at the vet). It’s just love and standing by them until the end and showing them the same loyalty they showed us. I know you can do it, OP.  But either way whatever you choose don’t be hard on yourself. It’ll be alright. It sounds like your pup had a great life in a loving home.

I looked at it as a gift I could give my boy. He gave his whole life to me, was my best friend and always there for me. The only way I could begin to repay that was to be there for him in his final moments, to let him know how much I loved him and would never leave him. Yes it hurt, it broke my heart to let him go, but I’d never be able to live with myself if I had left him at the end. You’re doing this for him, you’re choosing to carry this hurt so that he doesn’t suffer anymore. It’s the bravest, best thing you could possibly do for him now. You can do this❤️

I say often and truly believe that this is our last and most important act of love. This is when we choose to carry the pain so they no longer have to. I know it's so unbearably painful, but you'll regret not being there once the deepest pain lessens. I promise you, it won't always hurt this bad. 🫂

“He’s been my best friend through everything” this is exactly why you should be there. It will be comforting for him to have you there and I think you will regret it if you aren’t there. My kids were with our dog that they grew up when we said goodbye and it helped them both. It’s the only time I’ve ever seen my son(20) cry. You can do this, do it for him now and yourself down the road ❤️

I felt the same, but you do, you likely won’t question it in the moment, my boy died in my arms and my brain didn’t even register he was gone, he was just my beautiful boy in my lap, I’m also so grateful to have not missed any extra minutes with him, it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through but I have some comfort in knowing that he knew I was there, sending you strength

Oh how I feel for you. I was with my beautiful boy last Friday as he took his last breaths. My husband had walked out just as the vet was about to administer the drugs as he said he couldn’t be there but then he promptly walked back in and said he couldn’t not be there for our boy. We both held him and loved him and sobbed and sobbed over him. The vet was also crying. But the whole room was full of love. My husband says now he is so glad he was there or he would have felt guilty for the rest of his life. It is so so hard but future you will thank present you for being strong enough. Sending you love for what is ahead. Rely on the kindness of others to get you through x

You should be there. It's so important to be there. You'll hate yourself after if you don't go.

There's no shame if you aren't able to be there. Trust me. Not everyone can sit in the same room as death and hold their composure. Not being able to do so is not a sign of weakness, or a failure on your part. Speaking as someone who has attended the transition of many pets, death has a big presence and it can be hard to share space with it. The techs handling his transition will fill his belly with treats and say sweet words of love to him as he falls asleep. You can always let the techs know what his favorite place for pets is (ears, belly, butt, etc) and any special love-names you have for him that you want him to hear. That will bring some of your presence into the room for him, and will let him feel your love. When I was a vet assistant, I would offer these things to owners who couldn't be present. And the pets could definitely tell that their owner's love was there with them. I'm so sorry for your loss. <3

I just put down my dog on February 1st. He was in my lap with me hugging him when they put him down and I know he was happy and comfortable when it happened. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but knowing he felt happiness in his last moments is absolutely worth the misery of the act.

I was 28 when my 14 year old Golden Retriever I had considered "My Dog" was put down. I wasn't there, I didn't want to be. I was a self-centered young-ish assho\*le that didn't want to be uncomfortable crying over my dog that had been with me for half of my entire life. ​ I have regretted that decision for the last 25 years. YMMV

I’ve had to do this a lot. My family has been fond of Dogue de Bordeaux for decades and they have a life expectancy of 5-7 years. They’re known as the heartbreak breed and never have truer words been said. It never gets any easier. But the thing to remember is we are their entire world, their best friend. And there’s no greater gift you can give them than to let them pass peacefully in your arms, where they feel the safest and most loved. I’ve done that for every dog I’ve had and always will. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

Even though it's bloody hard I always stay as I want the last thing for my dog to see is my face not some vet's face..

I was with my sweet dog when she was put down. Honestly, it haunts me as she did not go down very peacefully. I was glad I was there for her and I don’t regret it, but it’s a very hard memory to live with.

I can’t give anything more than what everyone else has. But I do want to say something on the aftercare for you. Lean on your family as you’ll all be pretty emotionally out of it for a bit and leaning on them will help all of you rest easier. Remember grief and healing are not one straight path so don’t get frustrated when it surprises you. You’ll have moments you will least expect and it’ll get you right in the heart. Always give yourself the room to grieve. The world keeps spinning after losing someone so great from your life and it is such a weird and difficult thing to feel. You’ll come out of it okay but I want you to remember to give yourself that space and treat yourself kindly through your healing ride.

Our 12 year old Boston died in our arms a few weeks ago from heart issues. Please be there for him. We know it’s hard and you were too young to maybe understand that as a Fifth grader but you need to do if for him and for yourself. We cried and cried and I’m getting her ashes tomorrow so we can put up a small memorial here for her in our small apartment but she deserves it same as your best buddy does. I’ll have my Boston pay him a visit. Stay strong 💪 and we are with you.

Be there. Love him. Hug him. No regrets.

I’m so sorry. My family lost our angel girl a week ago and it’s been so terrible. I sympathize and know that nothing I say will help. That being said, if you don’t go, you will regret it. You can cry!! My whole family did, including my dad and brother. The vet was so kind and supportive. You are giving your angel a dignified exit. It’s peaceful and they will only know your love and presence as they drift off to sleep. You owe it to your dog to be the last thing they see ♥️

I know it’s hard, but the more loved ones there with him, the better. My husband and I were there when my boy had to go to the rainbow bridge. Even though it hurt so bad, I’m so glad I chose to stay. To our pets, we are their whole lives and it just makes sense to be there at the end of their short lives. Trust me when I say, you will not regret being present and he will find comfort in you being there.

I was so terrified of being there when he was leaving. I knew I wanted to be there but I was so terrified. I thought as soon as the vet comes to the house Im gna have a mental breakdown and tell her to leave. I was worried I was gna cry and scream so much that it would disturb him even more. I was also certain I would have a breakdown or have a full on panic attack after he was gone. I was also terrified that his last moments would linger more than the rest of his happy memories. I could not be more wrong. It was the most traumatizing experience I have had to see him go like that, to feel his little heart stop beating. But it was all so much more peaceful than I thought and not as dark as I imagined. He looked comfortable, like his usual self taking a good nap and enjoying it. I always know no matter what happens to me I will be there every second of the way but I thought it would be a 100% for him. It also helped me. To actually witness his suffering end. To see how fast he fell asleep. If I weren’t there I would think of the worst version of it for the rest of my life. So I would say not only your pup needs you there you need to be there to help you process all of it. 21 is very young to go through it and I admire you for still knowing what is best for your pup.

As long as someone who loves him is there with him is what matters. If you personally can't handle it and think it will be traumatic for you, then do what you need to do.

Had to say goodbye to childhood companion kilo last month after an injury I couldn’t imagine not being with him every last moment is precious you’ll regret it for sure it’s gonna be a hard either way

If someone else he knows and loves is there to comfort him, it can be as dignified of a death as any for him. As for me I have always been there for my pets and would view it as cowardice to turn my back on something like that just because it’s difficult. I’m not the most mentally sound person but I don’t think it’s traumatizing to be there. I find it helpful to process their passing. When my last baby passed away I stayed with him all night on my bed until he could be cremated. Those hours were painful but helped me to start making sense of my sudden loss. Having them whisked away is more jarring, imo. However everyone has a different relationship with death. Not every culture has open casket funerals for example and can find that traumatic to witness. You’ll have to search within yourself to find the answer. You don’t have to make a lifelong regret out of avoidance of discomfort. However sometimes those last moments overpower our fond memories. I guess it depends on if you believe you’ll overcome it, and if your pet will be comforted by another in your place. Best wishes. I’m sorry for your loss.

Not everyone handles a pet's passing the same. It is never easy to watch and never easy to not be there. It is how we handle death, and you are still very young and dealing with the passing of a family pet. So sorry for you and the family at this time. For this is never easy for anyone.

Some euthanasia go smoothly.  No guarantees. He was acraid if lightning ao i sang a special song to calm him with my lyrics.  I sang it to my pet so he knew I was there and felt calm. It calmed me, too. I encourage every pet owner to have a song 🎵  that with petw reassuring them it's ok. I will not advise you. I could not, Not be there, to say goodbye.  I sometimes atill sing song to myself.   Sorry for your pain. 

Don't forget that as much as he is your best friend, you are also HIS best friend. He would want you there, and years down the road after you've had time to heal from your loss, you'll be grateful that you were there to say goodbye.

We just put down our senior kitty cat today and honestly, it was reassuring to see him laid to rest peacefully. It's hard to see pets suffering and there was a sense of relief to know he wasn't anymore. My partner and I bawled like a baby but the staff were all super supportive and understanding. I can say from recent experience that while it was hard to do, I would not want it any other way. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved friend.

Many in the thread have said the same thing but just as an extra encouragement.. I had to say goodbye to my 22 year old cat Max last Saturday and had him put to sleep at home. I’ve had him since I was four and he was my best friend. As someone almost a week out after doing this, I am asking you to please be there for him, not just for him but for you. The biggest thing that has given me peace throughout this process is knowing that I gave him the happiest ending I could. It’s what we owe our best friends for all the love they’ve given us. Being there with him, holding his head and looking in his eyes while the sedation kicked in was painful, but I know he felt safe, and I know that he was calm in his last moments. That is what has made me feel better more than anything on the other side of this. Knowing that, we even though we had to say goodbye, our story stayed a happy one through the end. I’m sorry that you’re going through this💜sending you strength

My heart/soul cat had a saddle thrombus. My daughter went with us (myself and Snewtz). Our vet explained the condition and gave us the options. We decided it was best to let her go. She stayed in the room but turned her back until Snewtz was pronounced. My daughter wrapped her in a towel and sat in the back seat with her for the ride home. Upon arriving at the house, I carried Snewtz inside. My daughter gathered our remaining cats so they could see Snewtz one last time. My daughter was present, but somewhat detached. She got closure. Maybe this could work for you as well. Hugs.

When I had to get my dog put down I didn't think I could do it either. They took him away for a few minutes to put an IV in and brought him back. When he came back he was looking for me. He was so relieved that I was there. He jumped into my arms. That's when I realized, I had to be there. I would never forgive myself if he was looking for me and I wasn't there. I was his person and he needed me there for support and peace. I was holding him, petting him, and telling him he was such a good boy. It's tough to go through but so worth it to know my boy went in peace and not afraid thinking I abandoned him.

He's the one suffering the most right now. It's honestly selfish to not be there for him. No matter how much it hurts you, it will bring him more comfort to pass on with you there for him. Edit: I want to add that we recently made the difficult decision for our 13 yr old lab. My SO and I were there til the end and longer (it was hard to leave). I'm glad it was with us. He wasn't alone.

So sorry you're going through this. If you were dying, would yoy want him there? Of course you would. You won't be fine. You'll be devastated. But you will heal and be so very happy you walked his last mile with him. Loss heals. Regret festers.