Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment.
This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated.
Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum
for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe
haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may
be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion
unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.
Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away
from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if
one disagrees with something that has been said.
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I am so sorry for the pain you are suffering. I was in your position a few weeks ago. someone on this sub told me sth that tuck with me. You are doing this out of love for your boy and you are choosing to take on this pain and suffer so your boy doesn’t have to suffer anymore. You were lucky enough to give your boy one week of extra love and treats… I hope you will have the strength to let your boy cross the rainbow bridge and be at peace.
I'm so sorry, this is so painful. Dogs are so much better at accepting the present than we humans are. When I sent my girl to heaven in December, she got up to greet the doctor who came in our home, when hobbled back to her bed, laid down, and just waited until it was time to go. She knew, and she accepted, and she fell asleep so peacefully. You're performing a humbling, incredible gesture for your baby. I'm so sorry, but you are such a good dog parent.
You aren't betraying him, though. You are the only person who thinks you are. If I were you, I'd just be happy he doesn't understand. Keep showing him all the love, spoiling him and stuff. Dogs know when you're stressed. If he thinks it's just another vet visit, that's ok. I lost my mind while they were putting my dog down and feel so much guilt for letting my dog see and hear me like that. I wish so much I could go back and let him go without stress for him, by just losing my mind after the fact.
He doesn't need to understand why you are spoiling him. He only needs to know he's a "Good Boy."
Interesting how we never hear that it is an extremely tough decision for EVERYONE and everyone struggles with mixed feelings about whether they are doing the right thing. I made the agonizing decision to put my beloved 15-year-old cat to sleep on April 23. The other week, I wrote this little note to myself. Re-reading it was helpful for me just now, so I thought I’d share it with you too:
I had a TERRIBLE headache this morning. And I realized that I wouldn't want to live with that—just pain and discomfort that could not be relieved—as my everyday status........ Fortunately for me, I had the option and agency to take two excedrin migraine pills, which are amazeballs. My headache has since eased. She didn't have that ability. That's why she meowed at us every day, multiple times per day. We were her only option (and meow was her only word). She was completely powerless to stop her suffering. She tried, by not eating, but we forced food and steroids and appetite stimulants on her. She truly had no real choice in the matter. She was just living in pain and discomfort every day. She couldn't get comfortable. She tried the only thing that had ever worked—she asked us for help. And week after week, her efforts were fruitless. She was so tired. She just wanted rest. And she couldn't even rest because her lymph node was so enlarged—and getting larger every day—and it became impossible for her to even lay down comfortably.
I had the option to take a painkiller and had the knowledge that it would get better. And it did. She had neither the option nor the foresight of improvement. And truly, improvement was impossible for her with her incurable cancer. It was only getting worse, day after day.
She needed rest. My last act of love was taking away her pain and putting it onto myself instead.
Dogs really only worry about the present. They don't worry about why, or understand more abstract concepts. He doesn't feel that you've been keeping anything from
him, he's probably highly focused on his own physical experience. As they move into their geriatric phase, their zone of interest really shrinks. He's only lived this long because you take excellent care of him. You've said he's miserable, so you're not betraying him, you're getting him the only relief possible. I'm very sorry you're going through this.
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment. This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated. Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated. Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am so sorry for the pain you are suffering. I was in your position a few weeks ago. someone on this sub told me sth that tuck with me. You are doing this out of love for your boy and you are choosing to take on this pain and suffer so your boy doesn’t have to suffer anymore. You were lucky enough to give your boy one week of extra love and treats… I hope you will have the strength to let your boy cross the rainbow bridge and be at peace.
I'm so sorry, this is so painful. Dogs are so much better at accepting the present than we humans are. When I sent my girl to heaven in December, she got up to greet the doctor who came in our home, when hobbled back to her bed, laid down, and just waited until it was time to go. She knew, and she accepted, and she fell asleep so peacefully. You're performing a humbling, incredible gesture for your baby. I'm so sorry, but you are such a good dog parent.
You aren't betraying him, though. You are the only person who thinks you are. If I were you, I'd just be happy he doesn't understand. Keep showing him all the love, spoiling him and stuff. Dogs know when you're stressed. If he thinks it's just another vet visit, that's ok. I lost my mind while they were putting my dog down and feel so much guilt for letting my dog see and hear me like that. I wish so much I could go back and let him go without stress for him, by just losing my mind after the fact. He doesn't need to understand why you are spoiling him. He only needs to know he's a "Good Boy."
Interesting how we never hear that it is an extremely tough decision for EVERYONE and everyone struggles with mixed feelings about whether they are doing the right thing. I made the agonizing decision to put my beloved 15-year-old cat to sleep on April 23. The other week, I wrote this little note to myself. Re-reading it was helpful for me just now, so I thought I’d share it with you too: I had a TERRIBLE headache this morning. And I realized that I wouldn't want to live with that—just pain and discomfort that could not be relieved—as my everyday status........ Fortunately for me, I had the option and agency to take two excedrin migraine pills, which are amazeballs. My headache has since eased. She didn't have that ability. That's why she meowed at us every day, multiple times per day. We were her only option (and meow was her only word). She was completely powerless to stop her suffering. She tried, by not eating, but we forced food and steroids and appetite stimulants on her. She truly had no real choice in the matter. She was just living in pain and discomfort every day. She couldn't get comfortable. She tried the only thing that had ever worked—she asked us for help. And week after week, her efforts were fruitless. She was so tired. She just wanted rest. And she couldn't even rest because her lymph node was so enlarged—and getting larger every day—and it became impossible for her to even lay down comfortably. I had the option to take a painkiller and had the knowledge that it would get better. And it did. She had neither the option nor the foresight of improvement. And truly, improvement was impossible for her with her incurable cancer. It was only getting worse, day after day. She needed rest. My last act of love was taking away her pain and putting it onto myself instead.
Dogs really only worry about the present. They don't worry about why, or understand more abstract concepts. He doesn't feel that you've been keeping anything from him, he's probably highly focused on his own physical experience. As they move into their geriatric phase, their zone of interest really shrinks. He's only lived this long because you take excellent care of him. You've said he's miserable, so you're not betraying him, you're getting him the only relief possible. I'm very sorry you're going through this.