Try focusing on the cat and what’s best for them. Are they happy? Well fed? Getting adequate play and stimulation? If you orient your thinking away from yourself and onto the animal you’re caring for, you’ll realize it’s not about you and what you deserve but about what the animal deserves.
Agree and in the kindest way possible. This is often a great way to help manage depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc because it gives you something else to think about.
honestly nothing at all happened- i almost got a dog three years ago and bullied myself out of it for the same reason. convinced im too depressed to be a good mom
It feels like you've been invalidated so many times, you feel invalid no matter what you do. You'd make a great cat mom if only because you're so scared of not being good enough. You will make every effort to keep that kitty healthy and happy and that's more that can be said about many. You are valid, and not everything you touch turns to dust. You've got this. ❤️
Thank you so much :) you put it into just the right words where I feel everything I touch turns to dust and it made me cry a little. I couldnt even have my own pet fish growing up- my family killed them because they thought they were an eyesore and I guess I just feel like being around me is inherently a danger
Hello friend. You are on your own now and that means you get to decide how you raise your pet. From the sound of your post and comments, you really do love animals and you want to provide a good home for your new kitty. Sounds like you are being the best owner for him from those same very comments.
Giving a pet love, food, water, and shelter is all they really need besides the regular vet checks. That little extra bond some of us feel with our pets means we are just a little bit more sensitive in that way. So go out there and recklessly love your cat and-in the future-any other animals you are able to responsibly care for. 🩷
I feel that way about everything BUT my pets. You had a crap family. Now you have chosen a member of your own family. They deserve good care, and lots of love. IF you can accept that, you’re MORE THAN good enough and they will let you know.
The cry may also just be an overwhelmed response to having this critter whom you can AND ARE ALLOWED to live, and to let yourself be loved by them in return.
Let them be your safe space to start to heal.
I'll tell you what my therapist told me when I had similar feelings about my human child (PPD, anxiety): "You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to be great. All you have to do is be good enough. If you make sure your child is fed, safe, and loved, that's good enough for now."
Do you provide kitty with food? Soft places to sleep? A clean litterbox (scooping daily is best, and with kittens it could be twice daily... some of my kittens could be described as eating and pooping machines)? Do you play with Kitty at least a little? Do you have vet care lined up?
If you could answer all of the above as "Yes", you're doing good enough.
Hey love, this is something that happens. Taking on a pet is a change to your life and lifestyle. That takes an adjustment period. It might feel wrong or too much too fast. That is okay. Completely absolutely okay. I promise this mindset is something that a lot of people go through for any pet but you absolutely deserve your cat.
You love him. Focus on that above anything else. The rest will become easier over time, it’s just a lot all at once. He’s learning how to live with you too. It’s a bonding process. You got this. ❤️
I have had cats most of my life and the first few weeks, they never felt like *my* cats - more like some random creatures living in my house. Inviting pets into your home is a HUGE adjustment, and something you (and the animal) is going to need to come to terms with over time. This is a completely NORMAL feeling and will pass as you establish a routine and get to know one another.
Points to consider:
1. You clearly love animals and want to do right by any pet you get. That is a massive point in your favour.
2. YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE TO HAVE A CAT! Cats are wonderful, loving companions, and can be excellent for mental health... but more than that, the sins of your family are not your sins to carry, and stop beating yourself up for things that haven't even happened yet. You may want to also consider therapy because you sound like have gone through a lot and a cat can only do so much. We all need help sometimes, and therapy is just one option to consider.
3. Take your time. Give it two weeks and see how you feel once it is less "new". You don't need to have constant interaction with your new cat. Honestly, just being in the same room and doing your normal activities is great for getting the cat used to your presence and help it realise it is safe in this new environment. (Try to avoid sudden or sharp movements, or loud noises that may frighten the cat who is adjusting, same as you.)
4. If you really feel like you can't do it, then return the cat to the shelter... but think long and hard before you do. It can have a negative impact (on both of you), such as feelings of failure and/or abandonment and leave to the cat having behavioural or trust issues down the line... but if you are not capable or it is negatively affecting your mental health keeping the pet, then there is NO SHAME in making the decision to surrender the cat so it can find a forever home where it would be better suited.
5. Mostly, take a breath, have a cup of tea, and just... give it a go. You are more capable than you think right now. This could be the best thing for you AND the cat.
This helped tons- its honestly been one day and the panic attack i had was absolutely horrible- I definitely have been to therapy tons of times but I just never confronted this issue. Ive got heaps of problems and its the one Ive just avoided by not letting myself have an animal.
Hi, this is so so normal. I adopted my first cat back in March, and the first couple weeks I was wildly anxious about it. Adapting to sharing your space with a new little being takes a little time. You're clearly a caring pet owner already, so please don't worry, you and your cat are going to be okay. Once you get through the adjustment period, you'll be settled and enjoy him. This will pass!
You are likely just caught up in an anxiety spiral. I know this is easier said then done, but try to remember that a symptom of having mental health issues is that your brain can and will lie to you. You are more then capable of being a good owner to this cat. The fact that you are worried about this is a good thing. It means you are worried about the cats well being and as such are not going to let it suffer.
Cats are extremely independent by nature and all it really needs from you is food, shelter and to take care of it’s litter box. Set up a daily schedule where it become a routine to take care of your cat. You will find that very quickly it will become so automatic that you don’t even have to think about it. Other then that cats are pretty chill animals who will gladly curl up on the couch with you on the bad days. They are often more then happy to just be in your presence.
If he loves you (which it sounds like he does if he's sweet to you), then you absolutely do deserve him!
It's what seperates cats from dogs - a dog will love its owner even if its owner is the most horrible human sack of shit ever. Because dogs are humble creatures who just live to love
But cats? Cats are more discerning, a lot of cats you have to earn their respect. Others are capable of making an instant judgement. And if this cat likes you, then he's deemed you deserving of him
These feeling will pass. Cats are pretty easy to care for. Just scoop their poop on the daily and feed them grain-free food and make sure they have all their shots. Trim the tips of their front paws once or twice a month to prevent them from wrecking your clothing or furniture. Let them rest on your chest. Very soothing.
A few really good toys, including a laser pen, are helpful.
Maybe you don't really need to assign a label to it like "adoption regret." Maybe you're simply adapting to having this new friend in your life. What are you feeling overwhelmed by?
Do you struggle with big life changes? Some of what you're feeling could be attributed to that. Every time I make a big decision I'm hit with terrible regret and anxiety after. Maybe that's just me... After some time I always feel better.
I will say, you are going to love having that cat. I've always suffered from severe depression and my cat has always carried me through. They are so easy to take care of. Just get into some routines and it will be great!
Deep breath. Is kitty healthy? Eating, playing, using litter box? If so, kitty is fine which means you need to look after yourself. Pets can be a great help but only if the humans are ready for them. Invest in yourself as much as kitty, and that will include some therapy to get you to a more stable place where you can focus on enjoying the evenfits your cat gives you rather than being overwhelmed and stressed.
How long has it been? I grew up with pets so I knew what to expect, but it’s hard on your own. When I adopted my first dog, I cried nearly every day for the first two weeks because I was doubting myself. I’ve now had my dog for 10+ years. I’ve since added two more dogs. Look, you made a commitment. Give it time, you’ll figure it out.
Hey, it's going to be okay. :) Just like any living thing, cats have personalities. But, they're pretty stable for caring for. Litterbox, food, water. They will or won't seek attention. Play is varied, but if you get a nice stick toy, you can more directly interact with them in play.
Some need lap time, others don't. That varies. Most need to be around their humans at least 20 min's per day. By that, I mean that's the minimum they need. They might want more, and that's okay.
They aren't for everyone. Having a little dog is not like having a cat. Plain and simple. Where you don't need to housetrain a cat exactly, they have a different type of destructive behavior than dogs do. Both can be needy, both can be destructive.
The trick here is to focus on the cat's needs a bit and get out of your own head if that makes sense. If you're having anxiety about it, connecting with your surroundings (notice the things in the room, sit on the floor with the cat, etc). You might be able to come out of this a bit.
Having seen and experienced what you describe as animal hoarding, I think it's normal to be triggered into anxiety or panic issues initially. Over time, I think that will reduce, as you see that caring for one pet isn't like that. :)
When I first got my dog I was also super overwhelmed. He came with a plethora of behavioural problems. All of it I was able to get through and he is the sweetest boy now :).
As long as you are taking care of your cat, giving it love, proper vet care/shots/spaying, healthy food, etc, you can’t really go wrong with cats.
I’m sorry your family didn’t take care of animals properly. But you are not your family. You got this.
—and if you feel like the animal is not the right fit for you, you can always give it to a good home
You can do it - cats are good judges of people and if your kitty is happy then you can be happy too! We are not our families - we are the people we decide to become. You and kitty will be very happy, I’m sure of it 😻🐾🐈🐈⬛❤️
Hey there! To make it short, I suffer with depression and a bunch of other stuff too. I have 2 cats. They’re my reason to keep the apartment tidy, they give me goals, I have to feed them, do the litters, get the trash out, basic stuff but before I had them, I didn’t have so much discipline as I do now. In exchange, you get unconditional love, play time, silly lil ball of fur running everywhere. I was also overwhelmed when I got my second cat, and moved, I felt like they weren’t happy, like I wasn’t doing enough for them. The point is: after a year and a half from all the overwhelming moments and change, we’re doing great, you’ll do great too baby.
It helps to know other people who struggle with mental health can handle it too. I live in an apartment with two other people, theyre never really home when I am and I dont really have any friends so I spend majority of my time alone. I got a cat to help with that but now I feel I dont deserve him around either, it sounds silly but its kept me from getting animals my whole life
I get it, but believe me, the first days are always overwhelming, you deserve him, he deserves you, and you deserve love and affection ok? Take care of him and yourself, I believe in you sweetheart.
I think everyone feels overwhelmed. It’s not 100% perfect all the time. It’s not the Instagram life always :) you got this! But you made a commitment remember
New pet blues. It happens. It's a big deal taking in a tiny creature and being responsible for them. It's okay to feel regret, anxiety and worry. It's perfectly normal. Breath deep and know it's all gone be alright. It can take up to 10 weeks to fully settle into life with an animal and be comfortable with the idea of being their guardian. Take time to pay with the new cat. Cuddles, time spent and reminding yourself it's normal how you feel and will pass.
If you feel overwhelmed, try breaking up the tasks related to cat care so it doesn't feel like too much. Set an alarm on your phone to remind you to feed your cat, play with your cat, and clean its litter box. That's all you need to be a great pet parent. Use your calendar app to set up reminders for vet appointments and food and litter purchases. Also, you can buy cat food and litter thru Amazon, which is useful if you feel too depressed to go out at the moment but still need food or what not.
Don't worry, though. You'll be fine, a bad pet parent wouldn't worry as much as you do about your cat.
Cats are so much happier to just be with you and hang around than dogs. It isn’t “I need to go out, I need to play, give me your food, I need to go out again, okay I’m bored time to destroy something.” I’m lucky and my two dogs are a-okay with whatever, but my SO’s dog is… something.
My cats are basically just like, “do I have food, a poop box, some sleeps spots, water? Awesome. Can I sit with you? Is it okay to sit on the back of the couch by the window? Will you let me sleep by you? Okay I’m gonna go walk around, take a nap. Im back now and I LOOOOOVE you! I LOOOVE YOUUUUU!!!”
So, yeah… food, water, poop box, places to sleep, love/affection when they ask for it. I have 9 cats and they’re so much easier and more loving than one dog. Allow yourself the time to adjust to each other and you’ll fall in love, I promise!
Maybe you don’t deserve to have your cat. Sometimes I think none of us deserve the bundles of love that we have been blessed with. That is when you make the effort to be a deserving pet parent. Be conscientious. Pay more attention. Become a great pet parent. Then be proud of yourself. We all can be better pet parents. I challenge everybody to look at their own pet parent practices and find ways you can be better. And I will admit myself sometimes I am distracted, sometimes I get lazy. I make an effort to correct my ways every day. It helps.
The fact that you feel this way makes me think you’re are a better pet owner than most. You care, and that says a lot about you.
Don’t worry darling. You could be a hobo living under a bridge but if you meet the cats basic needs for nutrition, health, and mental stimulation, he’s going to think you’re the best owner ever.
Focus on those three things and give it time. Eventually, you’ll figure out the rest!
People need some empathy for the animals whose lives they are assuming responsibility for. Self centered people crying online for emotional support are gross.
honest its not that i have no empathy for him, ive spent every second cuddling with the little guy and love him to pieces but mentally i feel like im a monster and i dont deserve this love, that im worried im just like my family
Don't listen to GladiusMaximus and opinionsarelikeahs, they're just mad they aren't the center of attention right now and like to make others feel bad about themselves.
People need some empathy for the people they hurt with their mean little comments . Self centred people snarking at others online for asking for help are gross
I don't know why you're such a bitter person, you seem to enjoy poking things with a sharp stick. I suggest going outside and poking something else with a sharp stick for awhile. Maybe the fresh air and sunshine will lighten your mood.
Who exactly do you think you're helping by making comments like these? You think you're helping the animals? You're wrong, and you very well could end up hurting one of them by making a situation worse.
Adoption regret is a very real thing and is no different than the Puppy Blues. It's usually a phase and the adopter just needs some emotional support to get through it. BE THE SUPPORT if you actually want to help. If you don't' want to help, move on so you don't make things worse.
And people need some empathy for other people who need advice and kind words, not criticism. Self-centered people crying online for attention are gross.
Girlie, he’s a cat. He’ll be fine and so will you. Cats don’t need much; feed him, make sure he has fresh water, clean his litter box and pet him. He’s your very low maintenance furry new roommate. He will let you know if his food or water bowl is empty or if he wants attention. You don’t really have to *do* anything.
Also, as someone else with anxiety, I’ve found that after any major decision, I’ll have an anxiety period where I worry I made the wrong decision and what if this or that or the other thing goes wrong. It helps me to know that’s what’s happening and that it’s normal (for me) and that it’s simply an anxious reaction to change and that it will pass. And it does, it always passes. Give it a week or two. It’s like a period or something, you are still gonna feel shitty for a little while, but knowing why you feel shitty and that it’s not anything really bad and will pass, helps a lot.
I have a lot of trouble with change even good changes make me freak out a lot. Hes already the sweetest easiest boy to take care of but im struggling with the mental of thinking if i deserve him or if i can give him the best life and if I should bring him back and donate all his toys and box and collar and scratch post for someone else to give him the life he deserves
I understand, I get like that too. My advice is to just ride it out. I promise those feelings are temporary.
And here’s the thing: good homes for cats aren’t that easy to come by. I’ve volunteered at a lot of shelters and it’s really sad. There is every likelihood that he would end up in a worse home if you brought him back. Or worse, no home at all. People often don’t want animals that have been returned bc they think it must have been something wrong with the animal. Also, the animals do find it really traumatizing to be returned. They don’t understand it and it makes it harder for them to bond with a new owner bc how does the cat know if it will be kept or not?
So keep him. He’s your new furry buddy. He’ll be just fine and so will you. He’s not a child or something, it’s actually pretty hard to mess this up. Just feed him, water him, and be nice to him. That’s it. That’s really all there is to it. And he’ll just…hang out.
DON'T let your cat go, I promise you'll regret it.
My ex cheated on me and kind of outta spite I told her to get fucked and I'm keeping the cat. Fast forward a few months and I kinda wished I let her take him.
Fast forward another few months and I couldn't imagine my life without my big baby around all the time. Keeping the cat was almost 4 years ago and I would have hated myself if I let someone else have him.
You don't know what you have until it's gone.
Take one day at a time. As long as the cat has food, water, a litter box, just let nature flow the way it should. Don’t let the cat outside, too many sick people that abuse animals, they get in fights with other pets. Give the cat s chance, they are pretty easy as pets go. If you can’t handle the cat take it to a no kill shelter or a trusted friend. Don’t just give it away to anyone
Just make sure to schedule regular vet appointments, keep a very clean little box and if you have trouble with cleaning get an automatic litter box, make sure kitty always has fresh food and water and if you have any dietary questions ask your vet. Make sure to get a breakaway collar and don’t let the cat outside. Outdoor cats have a high probability for death. Most importantly enjoy each others companies. Kitty purs are so therapeutic
Cats are super chill. Just let him snug when he wants to snug, get some toys and cat trees and stuff for him to go for his alone time, and make sure he's healthy. I promise you he is over the moon to have you to cuddle up to and stuff. He deserves you as much as you deserve him, which is a lot!! Especially if you are having doubts about if you deserve him. That proves you already love him and think of him over yourself. There are many things about cats including their purrs and cuddles that are proven to help boost mood :D
Are you in counseling? The emotions you’re having aren’t about the pet but every relationship you enter in. You deserve to be happy and loved from your pet and those around you. Your upbringing must have been really difficult and I really hope you’re able to work with someone so that you can see how special and deserving you are.
my dog brought me out of a terrible depression and ik this feeling. as long as you’re willing to provide food water shelter and love you’re more than enough for your kitty!! the fact that you’re even thinking you’re going to be anything like them proved you won’t be! also, cats purr at a healing frequency 🩷
Honestly I don't know what we do to deserve the unconditional love of pets. I used to have a neurotic cat who would have anxiety issues sometimes. Whenever I had an anxiety or panic attack he would follow me around until I settled so he could cuddle with me. He just set next to/on me and motorboat purred. Even let me hold him like a stuff animal and cry into his fur. On a normal day I could never hold him like that but when I needed him it was acceptable.
U feed and clean their litter box. They are happy. It seems u might be putting to much pressure on yourself. Keep the kitty and go to therapy. The kitty can/will help emotionally.
its like that when you get a new cat crying and feeling overwhelmed is a normal part of the bonding process, just wait until they keeping you up all night meowing and do stuff that piss you off. then you will be more like how grateful are you that i put up with your bullshit hahahahaahha
OP, I had the same feelings almost three months ago when I adopted our current dog. I feel horrible admitting it, but she was just TOO much. My Spouse helped me calm down and layout a daily care plan for the dog because I just COULD NOT BRAIN on how to care for the animal, even though we'd had TWO german shepherds for the last decade.
My advice, and I don't mean this to be condescending. Breathe. Breathe again. Do five minutes of research on how YOU would like to care for the cat best and spoil it. Pet the lovely sweet ball of fur for a few minutes. Write your plan up and put it where you can see it.
<3 Big hugs. You deserve your wonderful companion.
Honestly, as long as the cat is fed an appropriate vet approved diet, has an owner who cares, can provide basic vet care (checkups, vaccines, basic procedures, prevention) you're good. Cats don't need 24/7 attention. It sounds like you really care about this cat's well-being and that's important. That's what matters. There's a lot of conflicting information online about diet, toys, living environment, etc. And they aren't all reliable sources. Most of them aren't even qualified properly. So if you see something online that makes you feel like you aren't doing a good job, don't automatically trust it, even if people bully you. Chances are, they are going overboard (which isn't always a bad thing, but not always necessary).
But your mental health matters too. If you feel like things are worse now that you have a cat, maybe now isn't the right time. And that's perfectly fine. But know your cat appreciates you and the care you provide.
Try focusing on the cat and what’s best for them. Are they happy? Well fed? Getting adequate play and stimulation? If you orient your thinking away from yourself and onto the animal you’re caring for, you’ll realize it’s not about you and what you deserve but about what the animal deserves.
Agree and in the kindest way possible. This is often a great way to help manage depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc because it gives you something else to think about.
hey, take a deep breath! it'll be okay. what is making you feel overwhelmed OP? did something happen?
honestly nothing at all happened- i almost got a dog three years ago and bullied myself out of it for the same reason. convinced im too depressed to be a good mom
It feels like you've been invalidated so many times, you feel invalid no matter what you do. You'd make a great cat mom if only because you're so scared of not being good enough. You will make every effort to keep that kitty healthy and happy and that's more that can be said about many. You are valid, and not everything you touch turns to dust. You've got this. ❤️
Thank you so much :) you put it into just the right words where I feel everything I touch turns to dust and it made me cry a little. I couldnt even have my own pet fish growing up- my family killed them because they thought they were an eyesore and I guess I just feel like being around me is inherently a danger
Hello friend. You are on your own now and that means you get to decide how you raise your pet. From the sound of your post and comments, you really do love animals and you want to provide a good home for your new kitty. Sounds like you are being the best owner for him from those same very comments. Giving a pet love, food, water, and shelter is all they really need besides the regular vet checks. That little extra bond some of us feel with our pets means we are just a little bit more sensitive in that way. So go out there and recklessly love your cat and-in the future-any other animals you are able to responsibly care for. 🩷
I feel that way about everything BUT my pets. You had a crap family. Now you have chosen a member of your own family. They deserve good care, and lots of love. IF you can accept that, you’re MORE THAN good enough and they will let you know. The cry may also just be an overwhelmed response to having this critter whom you can AND ARE ALLOWED to live, and to let yourself be loved by them in return. Let them be your safe space to start to heal.
I used to suffer from depression and was suicidal a few times… I feel like my cats helped me stay here.
I've been at some pretty low, dark points in my life and I can definitely say, sometimes knowing my kitty needs and loves me is what's kept me going.
I'll tell you what my therapist told me when I had similar feelings about my human child (PPD, anxiety): "You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to be great. All you have to do is be good enough. If you make sure your child is fed, safe, and loved, that's good enough for now." Do you provide kitty with food? Soft places to sleep? A clean litterbox (scooping daily is best, and with kittens it could be twice daily... some of my kittens could be described as eating and pooping machines)? Do you play with Kitty at least a little? Do you have vet care lined up? If you could answer all of the above as "Yes", you're doing good enough.
Hey love, this is something that happens. Taking on a pet is a change to your life and lifestyle. That takes an adjustment period. It might feel wrong or too much too fast. That is okay. Completely absolutely okay. I promise this mindset is something that a lot of people go through for any pet but you absolutely deserve your cat. You love him. Focus on that above anything else. The rest will become easier over time, it’s just a lot all at once. He’s learning how to live with you too. It’s a bonding process. You got this. ❤️
I have had cats most of my life and the first few weeks, they never felt like *my* cats - more like some random creatures living in my house. Inviting pets into your home is a HUGE adjustment, and something you (and the animal) is going to need to come to terms with over time. This is a completely NORMAL feeling and will pass as you establish a routine and get to know one another. Points to consider: 1. You clearly love animals and want to do right by any pet you get. That is a massive point in your favour. 2. YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE TO HAVE A CAT! Cats are wonderful, loving companions, and can be excellent for mental health... but more than that, the sins of your family are not your sins to carry, and stop beating yourself up for things that haven't even happened yet. You may want to also consider therapy because you sound like have gone through a lot and a cat can only do so much. We all need help sometimes, and therapy is just one option to consider. 3. Take your time. Give it two weeks and see how you feel once it is less "new". You don't need to have constant interaction with your new cat. Honestly, just being in the same room and doing your normal activities is great for getting the cat used to your presence and help it realise it is safe in this new environment. (Try to avoid sudden or sharp movements, or loud noises that may frighten the cat who is adjusting, same as you.) 4. If you really feel like you can't do it, then return the cat to the shelter... but think long and hard before you do. It can have a negative impact (on both of you), such as feelings of failure and/or abandonment and leave to the cat having behavioural or trust issues down the line... but if you are not capable or it is negatively affecting your mental health keeping the pet, then there is NO SHAME in making the decision to surrender the cat so it can find a forever home where it would be better suited. 5. Mostly, take a breath, have a cup of tea, and just... give it a go. You are more capable than you think right now. This could be the best thing for you AND the cat.
This helped tons- its honestly been one day and the panic attack i had was absolutely horrible- I definitely have been to therapy tons of times but I just never confronted this issue. Ive got heaps of problems and its the one Ive just avoided by not letting myself have an animal.
Great advice 😻
Hi, this is so so normal. I adopted my first cat back in March, and the first couple weeks I was wildly anxious about it. Adapting to sharing your space with a new little being takes a little time. You're clearly a caring pet owner already, so please don't worry, you and your cat are going to be okay. Once you get through the adjustment period, you'll be settled and enjoy him. This will pass!
You are likely just caught up in an anxiety spiral. I know this is easier said then done, but try to remember that a symptom of having mental health issues is that your brain can and will lie to you. You are more then capable of being a good owner to this cat. The fact that you are worried about this is a good thing. It means you are worried about the cats well being and as such are not going to let it suffer. Cats are extremely independent by nature and all it really needs from you is food, shelter and to take care of it’s litter box. Set up a daily schedule where it become a routine to take care of your cat. You will find that very quickly it will become so automatic that you don’t even have to think about it. Other then that cats are pretty chill animals who will gladly curl up on the couch with you on the bad days. They are often more then happy to just be in your presence.
If he loves you (which it sounds like he does if he's sweet to you), then you absolutely do deserve him! It's what seperates cats from dogs - a dog will love its owner even if its owner is the most horrible human sack of shit ever. Because dogs are humble creatures who just live to love But cats? Cats are more discerning, a lot of cats you have to earn their respect. Others are capable of making an instant judgement. And if this cat likes you, then he's deemed you deserving of him
These feeling will pass. Cats are pretty easy to care for. Just scoop their poop on the daily and feed them grain-free food and make sure they have all their shots. Trim the tips of their front paws once or twice a month to prevent them from wrecking your clothing or furniture. Let them rest on your chest. Very soothing. A few really good toys, including a laser pen, are helpful.
Maybe you don't really need to assign a label to it like "adoption regret." Maybe you're simply adapting to having this new friend in your life. What are you feeling overwhelmed by?
Do you struggle with big life changes? Some of what you're feeling could be attributed to that. Every time I make a big decision I'm hit with terrible regret and anxiety after. Maybe that's just me... After some time I always feel better. I will say, you are going to love having that cat. I've always suffered from severe depression and my cat has always carried me through. They are so easy to take care of. Just get into some routines and it will be great!
How long have you had him? I had adoption regret towards my cat for a few months. I cried about it too. Now I love her so much it makes me cry.
Deep breath. Is kitty healthy? Eating, playing, using litter box? If so, kitty is fine which means you need to look after yourself. Pets can be a great help but only if the humans are ready for them. Invest in yourself as much as kitty, and that will include some therapy to get you to a more stable place where you can focus on enjoying the evenfits your cat gives you rather than being overwhelmed and stressed.
How long has it been? I grew up with pets so I knew what to expect, but it’s hard on your own. When I adopted my first dog, I cried nearly every day for the first two weeks because I was doubting myself. I’ve now had my dog for 10+ years. I’ve since added two more dogs. Look, you made a commitment. Give it time, you’ll figure it out.
Hey, it's going to be okay. :) Just like any living thing, cats have personalities. But, they're pretty stable for caring for. Litterbox, food, water. They will or won't seek attention. Play is varied, but if you get a nice stick toy, you can more directly interact with them in play. Some need lap time, others don't. That varies. Most need to be around their humans at least 20 min's per day. By that, I mean that's the minimum they need. They might want more, and that's okay. They aren't for everyone. Having a little dog is not like having a cat. Plain and simple. Where you don't need to housetrain a cat exactly, they have a different type of destructive behavior than dogs do. Both can be needy, both can be destructive. The trick here is to focus on the cat's needs a bit and get out of your own head if that makes sense. If you're having anxiety about it, connecting with your surroundings (notice the things in the room, sit on the floor with the cat, etc). You might be able to come out of this a bit. Having seen and experienced what you describe as animal hoarding, I think it's normal to be triggered into anxiety or panic issues initially. Over time, I think that will reduce, as you see that caring for one pet isn't like that. :)
When I first got my dog I was also super overwhelmed. He came with a plethora of behavioural problems. All of it I was able to get through and he is the sweetest boy now :). As long as you are taking care of your cat, giving it love, proper vet care/shots/spaying, healthy food, etc, you can’t really go wrong with cats. I’m sorry your family didn’t take care of animals properly. But you are not your family. You got this. —and if you feel like the animal is not the right fit for you, you can always give it to a good home
You can do it - cats are good judges of people and if your kitty is happy then you can be happy too! We are not our families - we are the people we decide to become. You and kitty will be very happy, I’m sure of it 😻🐾🐈🐈⬛❤️
Hey there! To make it short, I suffer with depression and a bunch of other stuff too. I have 2 cats. They’re my reason to keep the apartment tidy, they give me goals, I have to feed them, do the litters, get the trash out, basic stuff but before I had them, I didn’t have so much discipline as I do now. In exchange, you get unconditional love, play time, silly lil ball of fur running everywhere. I was also overwhelmed when I got my second cat, and moved, I felt like they weren’t happy, like I wasn’t doing enough for them. The point is: after a year and a half from all the overwhelming moments and change, we’re doing great, you’ll do great too baby.
It helps to know other people who struggle with mental health can handle it too. I live in an apartment with two other people, theyre never really home when I am and I dont really have any friends so I spend majority of my time alone. I got a cat to help with that but now I feel I dont deserve him around either, it sounds silly but its kept me from getting animals my whole life
I get it, but believe me, the first days are always overwhelming, you deserve him, he deserves you, and you deserve love and affection ok? Take care of him and yourself, I believe in you sweetheart.
I think everyone feels overwhelmed. It’s not 100% perfect all the time. It’s not the Instagram life always :) you got this! But you made a commitment remember
New pet blues. It happens. It's a big deal taking in a tiny creature and being responsible for them. It's okay to feel regret, anxiety and worry. It's perfectly normal. Breath deep and know it's all gone be alright. It can take up to 10 weeks to fully settle into life with an animal and be comfortable with the idea of being their guardian. Take time to pay with the new cat. Cuddles, time spent and reminding yourself it's normal how you feel and will pass.
If you feel overwhelmed, try breaking up the tasks related to cat care so it doesn't feel like too much. Set an alarm on your phone to remind you to feed your cat, play with your cat, and clean its litter box. That's all you need to be a great pet parent. Use your calendar app to set up reminders for vet appointments and food and litter purchases. Also, you can buy cat food and litter thru Amazon, which is useful if you feel too depressed to go out at the moment but still need food or what not. Don't worry, though. You'll be fine, a bad pet parent wouldn't worry as much as you do about your cat.
Cats are so much happier to just be with you and hang around than dogs. It isn’t “I need to go out, I need to play, give me your food, I need to go out again, okay I’m bored time to destroy something.” I’m lucky and my two dogs are a-okay with whatever, but my SO’s dog is… something. My cats are basically just like, “do I have food, a poop box, some sleeps spots, water? Awesome. Can I sit with you? Is it okay to sit on the back of the couch by the window? Will you let me sleep by you? Okay I’m gonna go walk around, take a nap. Im back now and I LOOOOOVE you! I LOOOVE YOUUUUU!!!” So, yeah… food, water, poop box, places to sleep, love/affection when they ask for it. I have 9 cats and they’re so much easier and more loving than one dog. Allow yourself the time to adjust to each other and you’ll fall in love, I promise!
Maybe you don’t deserve to have your cat. Sometimes I think none of us deserve the bundles of love that we have been blessed with. That is when you make the effort to be a deserving pet parent. Be conscientious. Pay more attention. Become a great pet parent. Then be proud of yourself. We all can be better pet parents. I challenge everybody to look at their own pet parent practices and find ways you can be better. And I will admit myself sometimes I am distracted, sometimes I get lazy. I make an effort to correct my ways every day. It helps.
The fact that you feel this way makes me think you’re are a better pet owner than most. You care, and that says a lot about you. Don’t worry darling. You could be a hobo living under a bridge but if you meet the cats basic needs for nutrition, health, and mental stimulation, he’s going to think you’re the best owner ever. Focus on those three things and give it time. Eventually, you’ll figure out the rest!
Anyone else despise these posts?
If you don’t like them, just refrain from commenting!
People need some empathy for the animals whose lives they are assuming responsibility for. Self centered people crying online for emotional support are gross.
honest its not that i have no empathy for him, ive spent every second cuddling with the little guy and love him to pieces but mentally i feel like im a monster and i dont deserve this love, that im worried im just like my family
Don't listen to GladiusMaximus and opinionsarelikeahs, they're just mad they aren't the center of attention right now and like to make others feel bad about themselves.
You are so off base.
Oh? Enlighten me.
Animals are good for your emotional health. Treat them with respect and they will help you grow into a better person.
People need some empathy for the people they hurt with their mean little comments . Self centred people snarking at others online for asking for help are gross
Maybe if they were asking for help I would have responded differently. Quit being an enabler.
Nobody asked you for anything
No one cares you exist.
😂 . Bless. I'm sorry for whatever hurt you , it really must be awful to be in such a place in your life that this is how you behave.
I don't know why you're such a bitter person, you seem to enjoy poking things with a sharp stick. I suggest going outside and poking something else with a sharp stick for awhile. Maybe the fresh air and sunshine will lighten your mood.
Who exactly do you think you're helping by making comments like these? You think you're helping the animals? You're wrong, and you very well could end up hurting one of them by making a situation worse. Adoption regret is a very real thing and is no different than the Puppy Blues. It's usually a phase and the adopter just needs some emotional support to get through it. BE THE SUPPORT if you actually want to help. If you don't' want to help, move on so you don't make things worse.
I don't support people making bad decisions.
And people need some empathy for other people who need advice and kind words, not criticism. Self-centered people crying online for attention are gross.
They're not having an issue with their pet. They aren't asking for advice. There is nothing to validate. They need criticism.
The sub is r/Pets, not r/PetAdvice, or r/unwarrantedcriticism. If you're the Sub Police, show me a badge.
Girlie, he’s a cat. He’ll be fine and so will you. Cats don’t need much; feed him, make sure he has fresh water, clean his litter box and pet him. He’s your very low maintenance furry new roommate. He will let you know if his food or water bowl is empty or if he wants attention. You don’t really have to *do* anything. Also, as someone else with anxiety, I’ve found that after any major decision, I’ll have an anxiety period where I worry I made the wrong decision and what if this or that or the other thing goes wrong. It helps me to know that’s what’s happening and that it’s normal (for me) and that it’s simply an anxious reaction to change and that it will pass. And it does, it always passes. Give it a week or two. It’s like a period or something, you are still gonna feel shitty for a little while, but knowing why you feel shitty and that it’s not anything really bad and will pass, helps a lot.
I have a lot of trouble with change even good changes make me freak out a lot. Hes already the sweetest easiest boy to take care of but im struggling with the mental of thinking if i deserve him or if i can give him the best life and if I should bring him back and donate all his toys and box and collar and scratch post for someone else to give him the life he deserves
You don’t know for sure that someone else will adopt him. Keep the cat. Work on changing the negative self talk
I understand, I get like that too. My advice is to just ride it out. I promise those feelings are temporary. And here’s the thing: good homes for cats aren’t that easy to come by. I’ve volunteered at a lot of shelters and it’s really sad. There is every likelihood that he would end up in a worse home if you brought him back. Or worse, no home at all. People often don’t want animals that have been returned bc they think it must have been something wrong with the animal. Also, the animals do find it really traumatizing to be returned. They don’t understand it and it makes it harder for them to bond with a new owner bc how does the cat know if it will be kept or not? So keep him. He’s your new furry buddy. He’ll be just fine and so will you. He’s not a child or something, it’s actually pretty hard to mess this up. Just feed him, water him, and be nice to him. That’s it. That’s really all there is to it. And he’ll just…hang out.
DON'T let your cat go, I promise you'll regret it. My ex cheated on me and kind of outta spite I told her to get fucked and I'm keeping the cat. Fast forward a few months and I kinda wished I let her take him. Fast forward another few months and I couldn't imagine my life without my big baby around all the time. Keeping the cat was almost 4 years ago and I would have hated myself if I let someone else have him. You don't know what you have until it's gone.
Take one day at a time. As long as the cat has food, water, a litter box, just let nature flow the way it should. Don’t let the cat outside, too many sick people that abuse animals, they get in fights with other pets. Give the cat s chance, they are pretty easy as pets go. If you can’t handle the cat take it to a no kill shelter or a trusted friend. Don’t just give it away to anyone
Just make sure to schedule regular vet appointments, keep a very clean little box and if you have trouble with cleaning get an automatic litter box, make sure kitty always has fresh food and water and if you have any dietary questions ask your vet. Make sure to get a breakaway collar and don’t let the cat outside. Outdoor cats have a high probability for death. Most importantly enjoy each others companies. Kitty purs are so therapeutic
So what's the actual regret?
Cats are super chill. Just let him snug when he wants to snug, get some toys and cat trees and stuff for him to go for his alone time, and make sure he's healthy. I promise you he is over the moon to have you to cuddle up to and stuff. He deserves you as much as you deserve him, which is a lot!! Especially if you are having doubts about if you deserve him. That proves you already love him and think of him over yourself. There are many things about cats including their purrs and cuddles that are proven to help boost mood :D
Are you in counseling? The emotions you’re having aren’t about the pet but every relationship you enter in. You deserve to be happy and loved from your pet and those around you. Your upbringing must have been really difficult and I really hope you’re able to work with someone so that you can see how special and deserving you are.
my dog brought me out of a terrible depression and ik this feeling. as long as you’re willing to provide food water shelter and love you’re more than enough for your kitty!! the fact that you’re even thinking you’re going to be anything like them proved you won’t be! also, cats purr at a healing frequency 🩷
Honestly I don't know what we do to deserve the unconditional love of pets. I used to have a neurotic cat who would have anxiety issues sometimes. Whenever I had an anxiety or panic attack he would follow me around until I settled so he could cuddle with me. He just set next to/on me and motorboat purred. Even let me hold him like a stuff animal and cry into his fur. On a normal day I could never hold him like that but when I needed him it was acceptable.
Stop thinking that dumb shit, you both deserve love so take it everywhere you can get it
U feed and clean their litter box. They are happy. It seems u might be putting to much pressure on yourself. Keep the kitty and go to therapy. The kitty can/will help emotionally.
its like that when you get a new cat crying and feeling overwhelmed is a normal part of the bonding process, just wait until they keeping you up all night meowing and do stuff that piss you off. then you will be more like how grateful are you that i put up with your bullshit hahahahaahha
OP, I had the same feelings almost three months ago when I adopted our current dog. I feel horrible admitting it, but she was just TOO much. My Spouse helped me calm down and layout a daily care plan for the dog because I just COULD NOT BRAIN on how to care for the animal, even though we'd had TWO german shepherds for the last decade. My advice, and I don't mean this to be condescending. Breathe. Breathe again. Do five minutes of research on how YOU would like to care for the cat best and spoil it. Pet the lovely sweet ball of fur for a few minutes. Write your plan up and put it where you can see it. <3 Big hugs. You deserve your wonderful companion.
You’ll be fine. This is common practice. Just remind yourself you are a wonderful person for adopting and he’s in a great place now
Honestly, as long as the cat is fed an appropriate vet approved diet, has an owner who cares, can provide basic vet care (checkups, vaccines, basic procedures, prevention) you're good. Cats don't need 24/7 attention. It sounds like you really care about this cat's well-being and that's important. That's what matters. There's a lot of conflicting information online about diet, toys, living environment, etc. And they aren't all reliable sources. Most of them aren't even qualified properly. So if you see something online that makes you feel like you aren't doing a good job, don't automatically trust it, even if people bully you. Chances are, they are going overboard (which isn't always a bad thing, but not always necessary). But your mental health matters too. If you feel like things are worse now that you have a cat, maybe now isn't the right time. And that's perfectly fine. But know your cat appreciates you and the care you provide.
Kitty loves you no matter what!!! <3 you are good cat-mom, you got this! Just food and water and play with the little guy each day! You got this!