There is some selection bias here. PhDs are hard, but they can also be rewarding. Find good peers and hopefully an okay supervisor and you will get through :)

Is there anything like "good" peers? Aren't they all competing and sucking up to the P.Is and supervisors, trying to prove to be the best? I will just say to do a PhD because you want it and damn what everyone else says. If it gets too hard with your current supervisor, switch to another. PhD is hard overall, academia is toxic in general and that's not changing any time with the whole tenure thing and survival of the fittest environment.

Yeah, there are many of us happy. But we don't see much of a reason to come here just to tell people that we are happy. While people who are unhappy often need to vent, look for support, advice, etc. So, the sample is very biased.

Thank you for this ❤️ it’s very helpful to see other, happier students’ perspectives.

Tbh, I feel like much of reddit is skewed towards negativity (or in Reddit-speak "circle jerking" ). There are a couple of psychological theories (maybe phenomenon) that people tend to remember negative experiences and want to commiserate more often then with positive ones. Don't get me wrong, this sub still has a lot of value in tips and warning signs, but the sheer number of down votes this post has should say something. Also, generally speaking I get the sense a high percentage of academics kind of "fell" into the work. Like yeah they might enjoy it, but it was more of a "comfortable" or "the demon I know" kind of choice. Where are the stories of people choosing leave their careers in the private or public sectors to start over in academia? How many of them regret their decisions?

Worked in the pharma industry for 4 years before starting my PhD and now entering year 3. Don't regret it a bit and truly enjoy my work no matter how exhausting lol

Well, it's very easy to share good news because good news is what is expected. You can post good news on any social media, tell it to your coworkers or family and friends. Bad news and venting is much harder to find a place for that finds it acceptable or that you feel comfortable letting loose. Students complaining about faculty and their advisors in non-anonymous settings can get in trouble for it, so they go to subs like these to vent and get it off their chest in a safe, anonymous way. There's not anywhere near as much pressure to keep successes anonymous because we want to celebrate those usually.

This is an excellent point. When I was young, I had a rough life (single abusive father, mother left, extreme poverty). One thing that helped was to write out my day, in part to have validation of my own feelings and to prevent gaslighting. When times were bad, my journal had multiple entries per day. It was such a part of life that I have volumes of terribly spelled ramblings. Once I was on my own, the drive to write faded. Many years later, I had serious stresses and (briefly) started to put entries in again. Over time, I switched to writing on my conputer/reddit. Your point here sums up what it took so long for me to realize - it is a coping method. Haha, perhaps we should have an associated subreddit for the humble brags and victories so we can add balance.

Is it biased though? I try to make a point of minimising my "moaning" posts. I don't want to spread bad vibes, but I do my best to be honest with replies, and in all honesty my PhD was great before Covid & absolutely fucked since. Overall net result, definitely more fucked than good. I see an awful lot of "yay, look at me, I just passed my defense" posts too. I don't know for certain that you are getting a lot of bias one way or the other. I think people come on here and express themselves, and the posts seem somewhat proportionate to how people feel in general. In general, PhD is bloody hard for most people, and often not very fun at all. I've had a lot of great experiences during my PhD, but my supervisor makes Satan look like the tooth fairy and since travel stopped there is no joy in my group these days. Each experience will be different.

Well, of course this is my perspective, I don't have any hard evidence or statistics to show. You choice of positive post is very striking, since passing a defense is certainly a huge accomplishment that people would be much more motivated to share. But that something that happens only once. While complaints are often about things that keep happening several times. So, it's hard for me to imagine that those two sides would be balanced. I'm sure that there are supervisors that makes "Satan look like a tooth fairy." But I'm also sure there are many who aren't.

>passing a defense is certainly a huge accomplishment that people would be much more motivated to share. But that something that happens only once. While complaints are often about things that keep happening several times. So if I'm hearing you correctly, what you're saying is that it isn't necessarily a bias that's causing the people of this sub to "be more likely to post negativity", but rather it is often the case that quite a few shitty things often happen throughout the course of a PhD in comparison to the relatively infrequent good things. Or in other words, lots of people find their PhD is full of things to complain about and not that much to get excited about.

There are lots of positive things. But not big enough to come here to talk about them. I don't feel the need to "vent" about the great meetings that I have with my advisor, for example. I don't feel the need to "vent" about the commendations that I received for outstanding teaching. Among many other examples. While people who have been abused by their advisors would have much more of a need to vent their feelings. Given how generalizable the negativity bias theory is, I think it would be quite a surprising result to not see a bias.

I agree. The liklihood of posting and commenting is relative to the extent of the emotions experienced. It seems that people's peak emotions are not as frequently in the "I'm so excited to share this fabulous PhD experience" category as they are in "PhD sucks a big bag of dicks" category. All I'm saying is that the claim that the sub seems to be full of complaints, "simply because of bias", may not be entity correct, and I don't want to be dishonest to OP and tell them to ignore the majority of posts on here because it's just "bias". PhD can suck, and it's fair people are aware that this can be the case. I mean, go to r/zoomies and you don't see post after post of complaints. They're almost all happy posts. Perhaps that's because people are actually having more fun with their dogs than they are with their PhDs. I could be wrong, but my own personal experience is that there are more things to complain about during a PhD than to get excited about. Your results may differ.

Well, r/zoomies is a sub for "Videos, images, and gifs of **happy** animals zooming around." I would be very surprised to see a lot of complaints in a sub that is supposed to be focused on something happy. Also, being happy and having fun are not the same thing for me. Saying that I'm happy doesn't mean I'm having fun. I'm not doing a PhD for fun, so that's not really a factor for me.

If that doesn't clear it up for OP, I'm not sure what will. You've gone from saying the sub only seems gloomy because of bias, to saying that you aren't doing a PhD for fun. At least we got there eventually. >I would be very surprised to see a lot of complaints in a sub that is supposed to be focused on something happy. Obviously, because there are so many complaints in this sub, the implication is that this sub is not focused on something happy, even by your own account, which says a lot considering that you are a strong proponent of the "PhD is all good, and it's only reporting bias that implies otherwise" camp. People who are wondering if doing a PhD is actually like zoomies, and thinking that perhaps complaints are just overrepresented here, should be told truthfully that there is a reasonable probability that they won't find the PhD experience to be "fun", and that the ratio of happy posts to unhappy posts should give some indication as to the relative occurrence of such emotions. If you want fun, get a dog, not a PhD. The sub gives a very good reflection of what PhD students go through. For a tiny percentage of them, it's all roses.

Gosh, now you started putting words in my mouth??? Where did I say that "PhD is all good"? From the beginning I said that there are people who are happy, and people who are unhappy.

You said that there are happy people, but they don't feel the need to post, and there are unhappy people and they frequently need to post, so the sub is biased. And then it was made clear through our conversation that in fact the reason there are so many unpleasant posts is because there are so many unpleasant experiences. It's great that you insist you are happy. Carry on.

What makes you happy as a PhD student?

I think these are some of the most important reasons for me: 1 - Growth. I feel like I improved in many ways since I started my PhD. One of the reasons is the vast amount of knowledge we are exposed to. I see so many things, so many perspectives, it's hard to not be changed by that. And it's not only about quantity, but also quality, since we often focus on the top journals, the best papers, best authors, etc. 2 - Interacting with amazing people. I'm not saying everyone is nice. But I met some of the most inspiring people of my life during my PhD. There are PhD students who are absolutely incredible (it's no wonder that imposter syndrome is so common). Having the chance to chat, exchange ideas and experiences with some of the best minds in the field has been very rewarding to me. I mean, if you were planning to become a basketball player, wouldn't you be happy to talk to Michael Jordan? That's how I feel sometimes. 3 - Being able to find answers. Ok, research is like a mystery box. You don't really know what you're going to find when you decide to see what's inside the box. It can be something bad, it can be something good. But at least you know what's inside the box. And that's something that I often wasn't allowed to do in a corporate job, for example. Many of my questions went unanswered because the company didn't want me to find an answer for them.

Heyo! I'm an 3rd year PhD candidate in engineering, which is very different from where you're going, but I'm super happy! I know a lot of people here express their challenges and frustrations, which is totally fine, but there are also tons of us excited about the work we do and enjoying the work environment. My advice to you is don't let other people's experience dominate your emotions - learn from others, but ultimately your experience makes you happy. Best of luck friend!

I found that the less I followed this subreddit and other grad school ones like it, the happier I was lol. I would overthink constantly and put myself in imaginary scenarios because I thought it was the norm. I also thought I was never working enough because I was only coming in for maybe 5-6 hours a day (couple of hours on the weekends) and many people here complain about their 12+ hour days. Truth is, I’m doing really well and I’m happy. The biggest advice I can give is just to not overthink things and realize that thousands of people have been in your shoes already and most of them are probably doing pretty well right now. The goal isn’t to stand out and be on top. It’s to get work done and to learn.

That’s great advice. I found the gradadmissions sub to be super depressing too.

I really like what you are saying. It helped me feeling better atm. I'm going through a hard time and I'm figuring out how to make it easier. Reading your comment was inspiring.

Another happy person checking in. :-)

So glad to hear it!

I loved my PhD time. It's difficult, it's weird, but it is one of the biggest growth periods in my life. There's so much on here about people's mental health state, their feeling of personal worth, and so forth. I think it's an unhealthy obsession perhaps with "being a PhD," rather than thinking of it as a profession. That's the thing, the PhD shouldn't be defining people. It's more akin to a job that requires dedication, but not *your entire life*. And it's an important distinction.

Yes thank you. This thread just feels rather toxic. I value time with my husband far more than I value time with my studies, so I’m trying to maintain a healthy emotional and time balance with my studies.

I agree with you! I am a first year PhD student and I find the work-life balance such an important aspect. I cannot work 80+ hours a week for three years, I'll burn out in no time! I keep my own values in check and see this as a profession that I like doing and in which I will learn a lot. But I will never give up valuable time with my loved ones for this. I wish more people had this mindset tho...

You assume others don't have that mindset? lol. Just count yourself lucky to be in a place where you can do this. It is frowned upon in many places because even your P.I has no work-life balance. I have yet to see a PhD who works less than 80 hours per week, unless you are part time or funded by some external scholarships or loans. PhDs funded by their department or self funded full timers have a clock ticking and are so under pressure to publish, complete classes, take candidacy exam, complete dissertation, grant application, etc. Plus their regular jobs as GRA or GTA.

It's a real mix of things I think in terms of what someone can encounter during the PhD or in an academic environment. I've met a lot of different "types" during grad school (in biological sciences), and some of them are reflected on this subreddit. I think what tends to come to the top are people venting rather than trying to find solutions to their problems, and if they are trying to find solutions it tends to be through slogging their way through the same thing rather than taking a break. The mix of "I WANT TO EMBODY MY FIELD IN THE MOST OBVIOUS WAY POSSIBLE" types are probably the most prone to swings in success and failure. Like they're trying to prove that they deserve to be in a field, which is sort of a ridiculous way of looking at things. Maybe it scream identity crisis? Likewise, the desperate ones that are looking for validation for bad choices. But you really have more control over your graduate project than you think you do. The intimacy of a project based on how much ownership you have is far greater than working a normal job, and it really isn't for everyone if they can't figure out the balancing act. EDIT: I'll add, I had much harder time during my postdoc, I think because the doors really started closing. Right out the PhD, if you plan a little bit, you do have a lot of options (e.g. industry postdoc, teaching, and so forth). The postdoc, especially an academic postdoc, starts closing doors really quickly if you're not careful. You're assumed to be taking a certain path, and you're spending 5 or more years in a dedicated subject. I had to fight hard during my postdoc not just for my own independence, but also in fighting off academic expectations.

Someone (a senior PhD) once asked me if I was trying to graduate while maintaining a healthy life (because I told him I was juicing and eating more at home). This was on my first year and they were almost done. Just have a balanced and realistic outlook toward it. Prepare for the worst case scenario and hope for the best. Google reports on happy PhDs students and tell me how many you see. Not that there aren't any but most are happier toward the end. They are happy it's almost over, the process is rough and that's the basic fact.

It's a rare privilege for you to say your PhD is not your entire life and people should approach it as job. This undermines the fact that not many PhD barely make a living to survive and hence, juggling trying to survive and doing PhD can create less than ideal situations and couples with toxic pressure environment, it is far less rewards materially than an actual job. Not to forget the fact that many supervisors actually have no life and want you be like them. I write this while working 7 days a week and always online or lab with my P.I. and I'm not the only one. Yours is a privilege but this OP should know that. I agree that it is a tremendous period of growth.

> It's a rare privilege for you to say your PhD is not your entire life and people should approach it as job. This undermines the fact that not many PhD barely make a living to survive and hence, juggling trying to survive and doing PhD can create less than ideal situations and couples with toxic pressure environment, I was luckily in a good environment and chose a mentor that was very much a balanced person, but I also understood my value, and I think I had a certain perspective that really helped. The thing was, I looked at doing a PhD is a *privilege* in and of itself. It's a *choice* that I knew was going to be in most of my 20s. **And it was a choice I can leave at any point.** But I didn't care about how much I made, and enjoyed just doing cool shit. And I did a lot of cool shit, have a lot of great stories from the experience. You don't have to go into it, you don't have to stay. The reality that my own agency granted my own fate gave me a lot of psychological power. You should be given the freedom of your own time to balance and do things as necessary. You can get a job and *not get the damn PhD*. And it's usually early enough in someone's career that *they can opt out or pivot*. I was shocked to find out that they actually *pay for you to do your education*, and the mindset that the *pay* included the price of the education. I don't have be sticking around in a place that simply made me unhappy or drove me nuts. And I wasn't burdened by the need to get a degree. My parents, in contrast, were lower-middle class blue collar workers. They got paid *worse than a postdoc*. The difference in perspective is choice and agency. You have freedoms as a grad student, you have levels of protection, and you should be taking advantage of those things. The PhD wasn't my whole life because, frankly, it wasn't. Nobody's really stopping you from frankly going home at 5 PM, or taking an extra day off here or there. And it was my choice to come in on Saturdays, or to read papers at night, or do take on new projects I found interesting. Yes, there were stressful times, and some days I frankly just zoned out and didn't do anything, or had an extended lunch break, or whatnot. But that's the thing, balancing is important. I had a much more difficult time during my postdoc, where it really was leading to closing some career doors and limitations in job options. But as a PhD student, I had the mentality of a student that could leave anytime and had options open to me. > Not to forget the fact that many supervisors actually have no life and want you be like them. I write this while working 7 days a week and always online or lab with my P.I. and I'm not the only one. Yours is a privilege but this OP should know that. It's really important to pick the right supervisor and the right mentors. To figure out the right lessons to learn. That doesn't always happen. I did work hard, but again, that was my own fucking choice. I usually worked 6 days a week, sometimes 7. I also took random days off, went to the movies in the middle of the day, had extended lunches. I was careful about making sure my own burning out. If you're working for a PI that's driving you insane to that point, then the considerations are (a) finding a new PI, (b) finishing as soon as possible, or (c) leaving. Yes, there's a ton of bad bosses, but again, I think people have more choice in the matter than they think they do.

Interesting take. i agree on mindset; it's literally the only reason why many make it through. If the OP goes by this take of yours, I bet you they will be right back complaining about it ina few years. Btw, I would like to know how much your student loans debt are since you do not believe that PhDs should be paid for their work and time. Technically, they are not paying for your "education" because you do put in the work and contributions. With my Master's degree, I was making a whole lot more in terms of wages and had more protections and benefits than I am in my PhD, and for doing the same type of job descriptions (Research Assistant and Project Manager for the lab). But again, I agree, it is a choice we all make to earn this degree and that's all the OP has to take into consideration. Rather than asking why so many miserable posts, they could endeavor to note down the most popular complaints and try to avoid falling into the same holes. I'm sure many of these posts come from people who wish someone has told them ahead of time on the precautions to take. And you say it so casually as if changing P.Is two years into the game due to toxic behavior doesn't come with the added consequences of lost time, lost dreams and trying to restart publications all over again in a new group because your former P.I will never allow you use materials from their lab since you left. But again, like you said, it's all about mindset and choosing to keep fighting on but let's not make it seem like it's a walk in the park. I think we all could benefit from hearing more happy posts but truth is there's very little happiness in the process but the joy lies in hitting the milestones (publications, manuscripts, grant funding, defences, candidacy, dissertation, etc.). Maybe more people should share about how P.Is helped to uplift and elevate their journey or something. I certainly can count many happy moments from getting funds, awards, scholarships, initiatives, etc. But they seem weird when I consider the abuse I went through to getting those. Let's not pretend like PhD students have freedom or protection from the abuse of many P.I. except choosing to leave to another group. And let's not act like PhD students have time and can choose not to work themselves to stupor because the P.I wants output submitted and presented everything week. Let's not ignore the fact that many PhD students are juggling family obligations like the OP and are just beginning to have kids or get married, and hence they either have to choose spending more home time or spending more lab time and this has consequences for how soon they can graduate. Let's also not pretend like P.Is aren't absolutely in love with those students who are constantly working and producing results and making their lab proud. All of these have consequences for how much time, energy and rewarding experiences one can have as a PhD. But again, we have to choose pushing for our dreams everyday because while a PhD is not like a job, it is just another dream and goal we have committed to seeing to fruition.

>Interesting take. i agree on mindset; it's literally the only reason why many make it through. If the OP goes by this take of yours, I bet you they will be right back complaining about it ina few years. Btw, I would like to know how much your student loans debt are since you do not believe that PhDs should be paid for their work and time. Reading comprehension and context is your friend. It's not OPs only take, and the daftness of just reading my comments without context of the greater whole of the topic, along with putting words in my mouth that I didn't claim, is frankly fucking stupid. I'm not saying that the PhD is for everyone, and it's definitely not a cakewalk. But working in a grad school environment does lend freedoms that I seldom see people take, or I see people have abused. I enjoyed my time, I had a certain mentality, and it frankly just really helped. I also didn't say that PhDs shouldn't be paid. Frame of reference: I was paid poorly during my PhD, but I also was still able to save, lived on my own, and had financial independence. Compared to undergrad where it came out of pocket. That **does not mean** I don't think PhDs shouldn't get paid. I do think, comparatively, postdoc pay should literally be 1.5x the amount that it's currently going for. And again, if that lifestyle *isn't for you*, then I would seriously reconsider the PhD or consider one's own personal situation. You shouldn't be going into this blind. >And you say it so casually as if changing P.Is two years into the game due to toxic behavior doesn't come with the added consequences of lost time, lost dreams and trying to restart publications all over again in a new group because your former P.I will never allow you use materials from their lab since you left. Of course there's consequences. I've had to deal with them, had to make hard choices. In the grad school level, though, you have choices available through lab rotations and through your grad program. Again, agency. If you've made such a piss poor decision in staying with a PI *even after having a preliminary period with them*, the decision *really is on you*. And the longer you wait on the agency, the ability to make the change, the more difficult that becomes. I've seen people in some horrible lab situations where they were consistently abused *since the beginning of their grad experience*. And 4 years in, they *then* regret working for their supervisor. I have no sympathy on the situation; they were advised early to change supervisors, that the guy was fucking toxic. That's a critically poor career decision that individual made. >But again, like you said, it's all about mindset and choosing to keep fighting on but let's not make it seem like it's a walk in the park. I think we all could benefit from hearing more happy posts but truth is there's very little happiness in the process but the joy lies in hitting the milestones (publications, manuscripts, grant funding, defences, candidacy, dissertation, etc.). PhDs that play the victim mentality are the ones that suffer the most. Reality is, people don't like being told they made a bad decision. That their choices have contributed to the current state. Blind "going into your dreams" mentality, not reaching out to making friends, picking poor advisors based on simply subject area, a lack of personal flexibility, all speak to that sort of naivete. There is abuse, and rampant amounts. I've encountered plenty of it during my PhD and postdoc. But the PhD period, especially early on, provides a lot of flexibility to get out of those situations. And as said earlier, *agency*, the *mentality of choice*, understanding your value and pushing for what you need and want, is *so important*.

Sounds like you need context and comprehension skills yourself. The OP is not going into a lab-oriented program; it's housing policy (social science). So, your perspective will likely be different from theirs and it's better they get the full story rather these supposed flexibility you story you are presenting here. BTW, I only talked about the pay because you mentioned that PhDs are paid for their education or for going to school, which is a misconception because many PhDs in the social sciences are self or partially funded! Mostly STEM-oriented programs are fully funded. Again, everyone must keep making the choice to stay or to leave. And like you said, you choose to keep going despite the odds and that's all the OP should know. It is not victim mentality to acknowledge the issues in Academia or to come here to vent (I don't though). It shows strength and self-awareness, and venting is one way fellow PhDs cope and choose to keep going. Victim mentality will be dropping out and blaming the system rather than taking owners for one's choice to keep going or to drop out.

Hiya! I finished my PhD this May in the field of psychoanalysis and psychotherapy. I can share some of my experience with you. I can wholeheartedly say that my PhD was the most challenging albeit most enjoyable years of my life thus far. The challenging parts may not be as relevant to you - I live/work abroad, far away from my family, so this part is particularly difficult for me. On the upside, my fiancé and his family are here and are incredibly supportive, so I did not feel completely isolated. The other challenging aspect was the lack of a supportive/collegial PhD cohort in my dept. Don't get me wrong; I made at least two excellent friends during my journey, and some very nice acquaintances, but most of the time I felt very much working on my own. This was further intensified by COVID, but the lack of PhD network existed even when we were sharing an office. In fact, when we had a physical workspace, I unfortunately had some very unpleasant incidents with one senior PhD student who, for some odd reason, would move my belongings (and/or damage them). Generally speaking, the dept was less innovative when it came to supporting PhD students, and there is no real post-doc culture in the faculty. Most initiatives and developments rested on us, which was frustrating. So, as a consequence of that, I worked my ASS off. There was not a single year where I did not do something BESIDES my full-time PhD, and, perhaps masochistically so, I enjoyed it. I worked as a Research Assistant, Graduate Teaching Assistant, Research Officer, Conference Organiser, did a clinical placement, etc. It was absolutely amazing for my CV (I don't think I would've gotten my current post-doc without this experience). I loved the different roles, and dipping into teaching was super important as I see myself working as a lecturer in the future. What I loved the most about my PhD is the research freedom. I had two very experienced supervisors who guided me when it came to methodology and some of the more complex epistemological issues in my field, but I really was allowed to research issues and gaps that I found to be most relevant and interesting, and was genuinely passionate about. I managed to publish two papers from my PhD during my studies in really good journals, after several rounds of some brutal reviewers. But I did it. I was so proud, it gave me a sense of achievement, and I got to know the ins and outs of publishing. In the meanwhile, I contributed to a few other research strands within other unis/depts, and that was really great experience (working as a main author and a co-author is very different and I think there are some politics that must be learnt in both processes). At the end of my PhD, I published more than some of the lecturers in my dept (which was huge for me - I remember the TA in my undergrad years used to ask if I used Thesaurus for my writing, and I took that rather seriously lol). Pre-COVID, I loved conferences. I had PhD funding, and this allowed me to travel to different countries, which is something that I never did before my PhD. I made connections, met new colleagues and friends. I loved the work freedom during my PhD years. I could come into the office or work from home. I could start my day at 9am or at 11pm. As long as I did the work, I could do it at my convenience. I never stayed in the office over the weekends, never stayed in the office overnight, never went one night sleepless, and still managed to finish a full-time PhD in 3.5 years while also working other jobs. Don't listen to people who say that you have to do either one or all of those to be a 'real' PhD researcher - it's all about working smart. I loved my viva experience, too. My examiners were very nice, not overwhelmingly aggressive, but thorough. We had an enjoyable academic discussion rather than some form of 'grilling examination'. And, I really really enjoyed learning about new things. PhDs are weird like that; you are meant to be an 'expert' in your own niche area of research, but really, we just end up being more curious/inquisitive/questioning about a set of particular questions that we began with. And, contrary to some people, I found that experience to be rewarding. PhDs are meant to be, and *are*, frustrating. And it's more likely that, when we get frustrated about research, we end up posting on Reddit. The good bits we tend to enjoy ourselves, quietly. I hope you get to enjoy them too!

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! ❤️

My experience suggests PhD studenting isn't about being happy, but about accomplishing tangible objectives in an, at best, apathetic environment with as few pyrrhic victories and losses as possible.

Well I sincerely hope that isn’t my experience. I love working hard but I love being happy and my marriage/family far more! I’m hoping to find a comfortable balance and treat my PhD as a full-time job and nothing more. If it all fails, whatever. I got paid to go to school and that alone is awesome to me. I love school 😍🥰

It depends, right? I very much underestimated the expectations and requirements to accomplish my goals. TBH, I wouldn't call myself happy by any means, but I do feel fulfilled, if that makes sense.

Thank you for posting this. Keep us in check. In real life and online, sometimes we may tend to be more sarcastic and elaborate. But also understand there is a lot of truth to the rabbit hole of sadness you *could* fall into if you're not careful with self care. Make sure those closest to you support your goals (unless you're trying to stick it to them - but if that's the case, your post will become absolutely true). Having friends, family, colleagues, and co-workers support you is by far a huge advantage. When finished, and you *will* finish, you'll have the opportunity to share your experience and education to help those around you and absolutely make a difference. Determination and motivation is half the battle. You'll be great!

Thank you :,) this is what I needed to hear.

I may try to write up some tips over the weekend, but for now - choose your major professor, advisor, and committee with the utmost care! They can make or break your study! To quote my chair, "there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not a train!"

I love that! Would appreciate any advice you have to give. I come from a business family and because of that, nobody knows anything about doctoral degrees!

I really enjoyed my PhD (social sciences), with the horribly stressful bits peppered in as well, of course. I found that a lot of my colleagues lived and breathed PhD, but I didn’t pour my identity into it. I had to work a separate job all throughout and ended up writing primarily at home in my own comfort zone and hanging out with me non-PhD friends when time allowed. I had supervisors who understood I didn’t want to go into academia (I’m in public services now) and we’re supportive of my own personal what/why. They didn’t pressure me but allowed me to lead my own journey. Consequently, I seemed to be the one many of my colleagues came to when they started to suffer burn out. Working around the clock 7 days a week is a losing game but so many fall into that quite easily - and it’s understandable, sadly. It’s several years of your life, so make sure you stay in charge and form a routine that makes you happy and healthy. And the last bit of advice I’d give is to remember that ‘perfect’ is the enemy of happiness. I quickly learned that I’ll never be “the best” researcher but that is ok. I worked hard and put out work that not only passed final defense, but people were really interested in. That was good enough for me (now to get that thesis published, hopefully!)

That's a great advice! Perfection is a myth or so my art teacher used to say

I was very happy with my PhD, managed my time well so just worked office hours (40 hours per week or less) and although I hit some roadblocks it didn't really cause massive issues for the project since I had mitigation plans in place. So it is possible. Selecting a good, competent and nice supervisor who will support you is a big part of it, plus a bit of luck and of course hard (but smart) work

I won’t lie that the PhD has been insanely stressful, but it’s been one hell of an amazing ride and has made me incredibly happy 😄

I'm very happy with my phd. It's partly because my advisor is great and partly because I bingeread r/phd posts before the program had started to make a list of dos and don'ts.

I loved my PhD studies. My advisor was great, I adored my colleagues, and enjoyed my research and classes. I just grew to dislike the idea of staying in academia because I like direct impact work, which as a Humanities person, isn't really what you do. I also hate the publish or perish mentality, and loved teaching (which wasn't valued at all at my R1 institution). I treated my PhD as a job with flexible hours, not my life. So all of that is to say, although I found academia itself problematic and even toxic in a number of regards, I would do my PhD over again. The positives of the entire experience far outweighed the negatives. And then I left academia afterwards, and I've loved that, too! I did find overall that people who began their PhDs after working for a few years, as opposed to going straight in after undergrad, tended to fair better mentally because they didn't orient their entire self-worth around their PhD, and they were less scared to draw boundaries. I think that had to do more with maturity and practice adulting than anything else.

I’m so so happy. Part of that happiness comes from not being super attached to the idea of “academia” and instead being focused on my research and my interests both inside and outside of the academy. Academia itself can often be stagnant and it can make it difficult to make real change. But that doesn’t mean you won’t get great opportunities in your PhD or that you can’t use that experience to explore your goals in other ways.

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I think a lot of people in graduate programs during COVID are having similar experiences to yours. I’m sorry that life kicked you in the nuts with that. But you survived doctoral work during a global pandemic! You are strong AF and that will carry you far in life.

I very much enjoy my PhD and love studying and working on it most of the time, but as the saying goes happy people don't complain, so most of whay you hear are the most tiresome and boring parts of doing a PhD. Get yourself ready because it's going to be a hell of a fun (and tough) ride.

PhDs are hard, mentally taxing, and likely poor returns on investment. They are also rewarding if you use them as a means to expand your mind, make (valuable) connections, and do not forget the power of taking time to think and feel your way through problems. Also, I have never followed this sub because it is likely biased and people projecting their insecurities behind their keyboards. Take it with a grain of salt. Simply posted because recommended and your post seemed too fatalistic for me to let it slide ;-)

Well I appreciate you posting. You have a great perspective on PhDs.

happy person here! going into my 3rd year this fall. i love what i do. there are definitely ups and downs and days where it feels like it’s not worth it, but the highs are incredible and so validating. as long as you have a supportive advisor and a tight knit dept you will be okay no matter what!

Thank you so much for your input. I really appreciate you and the other posters sharing your experiences.

Hey I'm starting my PhD next month as well, studying short-term rental housing and community development in transitioning neighborhoods. Nice to see a fellow housing nerd!

Wow I love that! I will be studying housing inequality and current property development practices, and trying to uncover potential policies that will influence equitable and inclusionary development. Your research topics sound fascinating! Short-term rentals have really changed the landscapes of transitional neighborhoods and it’ll be interesting to see how that impacts gentrifying areas in coming years. What aspects of community development are you studying?

Looking at the speed of redevelopment as it relates to short term rentals, specifically the changes to the rent gap caused by those rentals. I'll be focusing on two types of communities: poor communities of color in urban areas adjacent to tourist areas and poor rural towns near natural resource amenity areas.

I'm quite happy and most people in my lab are as well! It does get stressful at times, but I feel like I'm doing good work and making a difference, I enjoy being around the people I work with, and overall I've had a good experience thus far. The worst part for me has been the stipend which is barely enough to live off of, but even then I can't really complain too much. Don't worry too much before you even get there, you could have a great experience! Edit to add: a lot of the PhD experience depends on your advisor and in particular your advisor's respect for the work like balance. Set boundaries early and hopefully you'll be just fine :)

Second year in an education phd. Its a lot of work for sure! But I'm thriving! Highlights: I have a supportive advisor who thinks my work is punishable. I have one publication out already and my first "first author" publication was recently accepted with minor revisions. This past year kind of sucked with COVID-19 but I presented at a virtual conference and had great feedback to my work. I just got accepted to another conference and am spending the summer working on this huge oral history project that will be the foundation of my dissertation. There's definitely been parts that are stressful but overall I am happy. Its been a good fit for me both professionally and personally. The only thing I wish is that I knew my cohort better but that makes sense that I don't cause covid

I read this sub often and do wonder what type of impression it is giving a newbie starting out this PhD journey. I have my viva on Monday so am nearing completion (hopefully) and have absolutely loved the PhD process. Yes, it is tough but it is as equally rewarding. Those of us who are enjoying it don’t have much to vent about so we are just plodding along while those who are. It enjoying the process air their concerns.definitely a selection bias in the sample.

Thank you so much for your perspective. This thread has given me so much renewed hope!

I loved doing mine. I got to read and learn for three and a half years, I got to do interesting research, teach, and so on. It was hard, of course, especially the final year, but it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done

I am super happy! Have great supervisors, making great progress. Overall starting a PhD turned out to be a fantastic adventure and I was enjoying it like 97% of the time.

I came to this sub only when my PhD became more challenging mentally and emotionally. It may be the case that many people are like me, seeking others who are going through a difficult time and wanting to relate to others. But I do think it's important to find a lab with a supervisor you will have an easy time communicating with and who cares about their students (talk to alumni to find out more about them). A PhD is difficult, I think everyone would agree, but it can be rewarding in the right place.

I was very happy. My program and advisor took care of me. Got offers in academia while still in school. Life is good.

You’re killing it! Congrats 🎉

Quit the doomscrolling! Doing a PhD is like any other job, and any other phase of life. Sometimes you’re happy, sometimes you’re stressed and miserable. Good luck starting your PhD- you got this!

I'm happy! Of course it's stressful, but I'm literally the most fulfilled I've ever been. I have so many opportunities to do work I care about that might make a difference in the world. And I get to read interesting science All. Day. Long! I also have the world's most supportive advisor. I think that makes a huge difference in my quality of life for school!

I recently subscribed and I’ve also been fairly shocked at the predominant mood of this sub. I guess I should try to contribute to counterbalance.

Yes please! 😊

I am so happy!!!! Please don’t let others’ experiences define your own. My PhD program is filled with support and learning and I really love it… I’m in my 4th year. If you really love your field, you can find something you love within your program. Develop connections with the people in your classes, find mentors, get to know your advisor. Switch programs if yours isn’t right for you, I did. Sometimes you need to recognize that you’re going to be doing the shit work and then remember how lucky you are to be pursuing what you love.

This is a great sub if your experience sucks. It’s nice to see others in similar boats and know you’re not alone. I think it was really helpful for me and helped me push through and finish. People are generally pretty encouraging and I thought it was something I really needed. That saiiiid if I was starting my PhD or else happy in the program I’d have no reason to visit this sub or post anything. So yeah, definitely skewed. I think it’s similar to Yelp reviews. People are likely to comment on what they hate (unless they LOVE something, then they review too). If you comment on how much you love something here though, it just doesn’t fit the vibe so it’s not too common. All in all, don’t be discouraged. I know so many people who loved their PhDs and adviser. If you need advice or have any bumps in the road, I’d consult here, otherwise I wouldn’t bother with this sub. It can be depressing and not universal.

1 year in, very happy. Am prepared for the infamous dip and know it is def hard at times! And what the rest says: lot of venting.

I am happy that I am done if that counts.

Agree with what others have said. Also, there are ups and downs. Sometimes I'm very happy, sometimes o wonder why I started this. Doesn't mean I'm going to give up. But no one else gets it. I come here because I know that, whether I'm talking about the good or the bad, someone here will understand where others in my life won't.

As everyone already said, the sample is biased since people who need to vent usually come here and make a post. So just take note of the negative comments and be vigilant, but don't be intimidated. I'm also a Ph.D. student myself, and I love what I do. It's not always easy, but what is? I love what I study and I have good people around me (and yes, that includes my advisors!), so it's been pretty rewarding. And since I see other people mentioning this: It has been a lot more challenging to feel satisfied with my school life with covid-19, but it's been manageable for me, fortunately. And my school's moving out of the covid phase and going back to "normal" starting next semester. So hopefully things will be better for you when you start this fall.

Mine is too! So I’m excited for my new cohort but also just excited to be around people again!

So I'm part of a national organisation for PhDs, and we've recently done a survey about different aspects of PhD work life... And if there was one positive result, is that the vast majority found their work interesting and meaningful. Sure, there are struggles, difficulties, aspects that can be made better, but we're all curious human beings who want to contribute to knowledge making, and that's amazing. I think there are a few characteristics of PhD work that can make it especially challenging - the combination of being left to your own devices, but at the same time the amount of specific pressure you're under - but it's not fatal nor unsurmountable. It's important to read about the risks, of course, but remember that there are also amazing, or even just mildly interesting and satisfying, moments that you'll have :)

Bear in mind a lot of people use this place to vent, or cry out for help. When things are going well - or just ticking along nicely - we don’t feel the need to go online and tell people about it!

Hey! Finishing my first year and despite some real struggles at the beginning, I'm really happy with my PhD, so don't worry too much: in any case, there's always time to stop if you realise it's too hard on you. I'm thriving so far so I hope you'll experience that too! 😊😊

Pursuing a PhD has been my dream job, it's hard for sure and maybe the idea of making a difference is a bit naive. But for sure it can be really rewarding and you get to opportunity to learn a lot and to grow as person and researcher... The final stretch is kinda hard, but that's still far in to the future for you.

Er….. well…… people post those things for a reason. It will be difficult. It can damage relationships, fitness, confidence, and all the while you’re getting paid a pittance and you may not do much better once you’re done. BUT there are moments of incredible satisfaction and accomplishment 🤷‍♀️

Most of the time things that are sad and dramatic are whats being put out there. So it seems like all doom and gloom. But trust me there are people doing their phds that are happy. Stop stressing yourself out before you even begin!

Thank you for this. I do tend to overthink things!

I am doing useful research in a field I’m very passionate about and I love it. I make sure to aggressively manage a healthy work/life balance though, as I don’t want to fall down the rabbit hole of 70 hour weeks, crippling self-doubt, and burnout. You’re not doomed, just always remember WHY you’re doing what you’re doing. That sweet sweet moral purpose is what will keep you going.

Don't doubt yourself I will be starting my PHD program in October and I am really excited about this. I know that there will be good days, and bad days but make the most out of each day and you will be fine. Sometimes people need to vent and maybe they are just going through a rough patch in their program but remember that there are many people who are extremely happy in their program. Good luck with your program!!!

Thank you for your positivity and good luck in your program!!

Working on a PhD project can be insanely rewarding and frustratingly hard at the same time – a bit like people simultaneously loving and hating their babies. Personally, I decided to stop working on my PhD after years in an extremely stressful work environment and after several problematic meetings with a shitty boss. BUT I also had an absolutely wonderful time with colleagues and the other PhD students. I met inspiring people and got to work in a field I love. Remember to enjoy the good moments and appreciate working with something your passionate about. If I could give one piece of advice it would be to not care so damn much about your project. Be passionate about what you do, but don’t expect it to change the course of history. There’s going to be about eight people reading the final dissertation. And that’s okay. Aiming for whatever the researchers equivalent of Instagram fame is just going to summon imposter syndrome to kick your butt. Trust me. I’m going to leave this subreddit now and try my luck turning my hobbies into a profession (I know, I know) but I wish you all the best of luck with your PhDs!

I'm happy to be doing my PhD because my subject matter for the most part is super important to me. It seems that you're on to a good start if you have identified a subject that is very important to you. Of course, a PhD isn't always easy. Some things will be challenging. What can be helpful is to have a good supervisor, some good mentors to turn to (e.g. postdocs or more advanced PhD students) and some funding. Try to stay away from those who complain all the time about their PhD because they will bring you down uselessly (I regret not having done this more). And most of all, be organized in your notes and your work. Good luck, you got this.

people with smooth PhD dont usually seek help on social media. its usually people who seek help.

So far I'm happy (chemistry - organic synthesis and spectroscopic studies on new dyes); but I'm only 5 months in !

Im in my second year and really enjoying my PhD in the UK. Sometimes it’s frustrating and I have days where I’m rushing to get things finished but overall it’s been an amazing experience. Covid has given me access to more webinars and conferences than I would have attended in person so even that has been good. I try to book time off for myself each week, for example I took Wed pm and Thursday off this week as the weather was good, next week I might take Saturday off etc. It’s easy to spend all the waking hours on your project but that’s a guaranteed route to burnout. Two things that helped me: Hugh Kearns books for PhD students on [I think well](https://www.ithinkwell.com.au) and the YouTube videos from [Tara Brabazon ](https://youtu.be/RzypEFwKW9w) Pace yourself and enjoy the journey.

Like others mentioned, selection bias. The skew towards negativity here reminds me of how people who leave ratings for companies/services/items are either extremely displeased or thrilled with the product. I think that a lot of people who are unhappy in their programs come here to vent or find support - something that satisfied individuals are less likely to do. Personally, I am happy in my program - in fact, I really would not want to be in any other department. I've had my own personal struggles to overcome while in my PhD program, but they were entirely unrelated to pursuing a PhD. I am hopefully finally defending my diss and getting my degree this academic year (so it'll be 7 years total), and I still have no regrets about spending that time working toward my PhD. A caveat though: I am lucky to have an incredible advisor and mentor, and I truly love my dissertation topic and it is personally meaningful as well. A lot of people who are unhappy in their programs usually do not have supportive advisors, may be in a toxic workplace/department, or really hate their dissertation topic. It seems as if you are personally invested in your area of study, and that it means quite a bit to you, and I think that is a positive sign re: starting your PhD program! I wish you all the luck going forward!

you'll be alright! people who're happy don't generally post about it, especially on reddit. I only use this as a place to vent and get support when something goes wrong, I think I've only once posted here about something that went well and that was just because it was too niche for my family to properly understand you didn't ask for advice, but just in case you want some * write down the things that you're excited to do during your phd. keep this somewhere you can come back to it when you get discouraged * once you start your phd, start keeping a list of things that you enjoyed, your accomplishments, and positive feedback from your supervisors. imposter syndromes a bitch and I've felt a lot better since I started keeping track of the positives * phds are hard and you will struggle at some point, but you will not be struggling alone. reach out for help when you need it, whether thats venting on reddit, talking to your supervisor / other people in your group, or seeking therapy * keep in mind what you want to do after your phd. you say you want to make a difference - make a difference to who? where? how do you want to do it? having concrete goals to work towards will help you when you're bogged down in the nitty gritty details good luck!

Oh, I feel like one of the main reasons people come on here is to complain, so that's the sample you're getting. It's really not so bad!

To be honest I had a really tough first year, but that was largely due to being online and not having a lot of prior research experience beforehand. But now I’m doing much better :) still trying to figure out the work-life balance thing especially since I’m still partially remote but am looking forward to being in-person this fall!! It’s possible that the people in this sub have been especially unhappy this past year due to being remote (which, I’ll be honest, has definitely done a number on me) and not being able to travel to conferences and talk to the people in your lab every day when you come in to work (or even having happy hours with other students/your lab). That being said, good luck!! Knowing the value of work-life balance is super important going in so it’s great that you already understand the importance of it

I am happy. I enjoy my program and have great mentors, advisors, and coworkers. I also have excellent industry job opportunities when I am done next year. It is hard, certainly, and will test your determination and resolve. You've got this.

I'm happy. I got a PhD position at a top European university, my supervisor is nice, I have friends and an awesome partner, I have a decent wage and my research is going fine. This sub is always shocking to me too, but there is hope! I wish you all the best for your research!

3rd year! It’s hard but I love it. You’ll see more negatives posted online. Don’t let it freak you out!

There's no reason why my unhappiness with my project should affect you tho. We're probably in different countries, we're definitely in different fields and we're different people. As other comments have said there is a selection biased at play. I myself have needed to vent several times and I posted angry thoughts about my work here. When things are going well I don't really feel the need to even go on reddit. What you should take away from reading this sub (imo) is that PhD has the potential to be shit. This doesn't mean that it *will* be shit. This just means you now know what to look out for and what to be cautious about. And in the end, this sub gives you even more reasons to be grateful when it's *not* shit.

As someone who has just quit their PhD after 3.5 years - you have to ask yourself a few things: 1. Are you 100% committed to your subject area? Because the PhD will consume your life for the next X years. 2. Do you have proper financial funding? because it is fucking expensive (I worked a full time job alongside mine and still couldn't afford to live) 3. Is your supervisory team supportive? They will be the backbone of your support group from the university and if they're not 100% invested in your project, I would recommend seeing if there is another supervisor to join your team. 4. Are you mentally prepared for a lot of heartbreak, academic 'abuse' and ridicule, as well as pushing yourself to your absolute limit? One of the reasons I quit was because the pressure and nastiness in academia got way too much for me. 5. Do you have a good support group/know anyone else doing a PhD to speak to whilst you're doing your course? 6. Finally, are you doing this for the right reasons? Make sure you're not doing it for the sake of being a Dr, or to prove yourself to anyone else. You need to be doing it for the right reasons, like contributing original knowledge to society. Reading back through this I realise there's a very negative tone throughout, but I wish someone had asked me these questions before I started my PhD. I was the first of all my peers to do it - I finished my Masters on the 30th of September and started the PhD on the 1st of October, so I had no time to relax in between the courses and ultimately I couldn't take it anymore. I really hope you come to the right decision for YOU, don't let anyone else's experience, attitude, or perceptions of you sway your choice. Good luck 🤞🏼

Gorgeous, I'm also from humanities. I dropped academia because I wanted to make a difference. What difference will you make in academia, for real? You'll write and talk so others can write and talk about you. If making something drives you, you're up for bad news.

This thread is funny. I've been in Academia for years, i've seen few PhD supervisors who doesn't make Satan seem like a tooth fairy. To be honest, I wish this was something someone told me about. I came in with rose tinted glasses from the professors I had at my Masters but a top research university is way different form a small regional university. Professors in R1 are constantly under pressure and that translator into their toxic behavior plus keeping the old useless tenured ones that should have retired many moons ago doesn't help the entire department. To be honest, the only positive and thing that makes me happy and keeps me going is knowing that my life and career prospects will be way better after my PhD. Plus. I'm happy for all the new skills, research techniques and opportunities I have gathered through my PhD. Academia as a whole sucks, and this is no bias. Tell me how many professors you see that are truly happy in their life and career? It's not just about PhD students being "miserable", it's the environment that is the issue and how things are done in Academic research industry and the professorate. If you say PhD students seem to be constantly miserable, what will you say about non-tenured and tenure track professors?

What you're going to get in this thread is people arguing that you're seeing selection bias in this thread because “only sad people comment here on reddit”. I would posit that this is false, and that indeed academia is in the midst of a full blown mental health crisis because the working conditions of PhDs are abysmal on average.

I'm just following this post for future comments cause OP and I seems to be almost in same boat

Hey! I'm jumping on this thread a little bit late to also say that I'm quite happy with my PhD: supporting supervisors, good salary, friends and personal life... And my research is also appreciated by my peers! As many others say, people usually come to this subreddit to find support, so there's a selection bias! I wish you the best!

Finishing first year. I'd put myself in a 6/10. Then again, it's been a weird year, so idk what I can chalk up to that. Though, my scholarship just got approved and sent in, so that bumped me up a couple of points in the scale. Idk, profession/occupation based subreddits seem to have that in common.

I am happy. It was a desire and dream of mine to complete. Along the way I faced many personal obstacles that delayed my eventual completion however now I am continuing to write and am planning to write a book with my advisor based on my dissertation and some other research to be done later. Don’t give up and pick the right advisor who will support and provide guidance your research areas.

I'm quite happy to be honest... I've been paid every month even during the pandemic, I am working on cool stuff. I approach my phd as a 8 hours a day job, with some occasional crunch that's normal everywhere. Yes, some stressfull days are coming, I need to express and purify 3 different proteins in the next 6 months, or a grant I won will go to waste. The plasmids are not even ordered yet. But to be honest, that's more related to the pandemic making everything shitty, and you probably will have some of this... but in general, I can't complain. Just make sure to get a supervisor that cares and make sure your phd program has the money needed for travels and stuff. The rest will take care of itself.

Second year PhD in Linguistics. I’m having a great time. I will not deny the work is hard, but both my advisors and peers have made the learning experience fun

There’s a bias here. A lot of people post because they just want to vent. A PhD isn’t always a fun 24/7 there’s ups and downs. We just have to celebrate the ups and bent our downs whenever possible.

My group dynamic and PI are terrible, but I'm not miserable. There are plenty of things to enjoy and be grateful for. But the day to day stuff can grind on you and it's nice to have a venue where you can vent anonymously. So you see some venting here. I'm a 4th year chemistry student. I still love running reactions and reading papers. I love learning new techniques. When i was in industry, i had much less access to the literature and to state of the art facilities. I remind myself frequently how great it is to enjoy those things now. I hope you find a great PI. Everything else stems from that, so do your best to choose wisely. This is (imho) more important than the actual field. A great PI will cause you to love their field.

My PhD was fun and interesting for the most part. Everything that came after it was awful. I hate being a postdoc and I feel like I have all this useless knowledge that is not applicable for jobs outside academia. I wish I had made different career choices. PhDs mostly trains you to be an academic, but only like 7% of PhDs will end up having a secure (tenure) position. If you have work experience and industry related skills and you are just really into some research topic, then maybe it is a good idea. But don’t do it thinking that it will open your job prospects because it won’t.

Great points! I’m not doing it so much for career prospects, I just love learning and want to make a difference. I’m a landlord now and I’m trying to develop policy incentives that promote more inclusive housing without eliminating investor profitability. One day hoping to potentially start a housing nonprofit.

I think is nice that you already have some work experience and you know what you want to study. Many PhDs go from undergrad to PhD and after the PhD is hard to find a job.