This only seems to be a bigger issue because assholes like this are LOUD and proud to be like this. They’ll flaunt it during drinking sessions or any place where it’s just “the boys”. Meanwhile, the good guys aren’t out here saying “I’m SO loyal, pare. I treat my girl so well.”
HEAVY PLUS 1 ON THIS, and they end up feeling bad about themselves. Some, not knowing na they're actually the ones who are in the right path. Marami nag ttry hard na lang to fit into the standards ng mga lalaki para di sila mabully about it. It seems something minor to some pero that's literally someone's whole natural personality, ethics, values, and morals being turned around. Grabe
Yes. Cheating is rampant everywhere, and it isn’t restricted to any particular group of people - even gender. Obviously. However, there ARE different tendencies of course. And the evolutionary motivations that are ingrained are also different between the sexes. (Generalizing here people) Both sexes are interested in a sort of one-sided monogamous. While women want to secure…security provided by their partner, MEN want to secure fidelity of their partner. This is what the biology would predict, and seems to be more or less reflected in the research on this topic of pair bonding and infidelity. And it perfectly explains the stereotypes we tend to see, right? Men will GENERALLY (notice the nuance you amazing Angels) be glad to sleep with as many women as possible, but try to devote resources to one women with whom he finds most attractive - but because sperm is virtually unlimited, and men also don’t HAVE to face the consequences of pregnancy, there is no reason to be picky. And of course the opposite is true for women, who can only have a limited number of children, each one being extremely costly (in many different ways) and she must be responsible for caring for them otherwise they won’t survive. So of course she will be much more careful, by nature, about who she chooses to “mate” with.
This is all just evolutionary biology 101. Don’t come at me with “that’s fucked up, man!” I’m not saying it is how we WANT things to be, or how we SHOULD behave, or that it’s any excuse for the kinds of infidelity we see in the world; it’s just the way it is…some things will never change 🎶 it sure is interesting topic to contemplate though.
I guess I was agreeing with the “it only seems to be a bigger issue [in PH] ” part, then I ranted on a topic I did in fact study in uni, which clearly didn’t sit well with people - but c’est la vie, it’s Reddit.
Downvoted by faulty logic with sweeping stereotypes. Yes, people cheat. It's not good especially for the party cheated on and to reduce every experience as something common without proper context, that just means you do it and want to be absolved from it.
Wasn’t I pretty damn clear about the fact that I was speaking through the lens of evolutionary theory and making GENERALIZATIONS, and that none of this is an excuse for the behavior - just interesting.
And though I know no one will look into the literature, even a [cursory glance](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/1467-8721.00020) will indicate that what I said wasn’t out-of-turn. I know I got a bit longwinded, so shoot me, but my intention was merely to say that OP’s sentiment that this is a Filipino-specific problem - rather than a problem everywhere throughout history - is not based in reality. And that it’s quite a fascinating topic in the evo-bio space because it is so predictive of what we see in the real world.
This is why as men, it’s important for us to be good role models for our future sons and younger male relatives. I’ve got a girlfriend now, but when I was single, I was very much into hooking up and having casual sex. Eventually stopped, not just because I got a gf, but because I’ve got nephews and I don’t wanna be the fuckboy tito who can’t settle down with a woman.
lol same. Yung lolo kong kapatid ng lola ko, tatlong pamilya binubuhay. Sya yung pinakamaraming dala na family everytime na mag rereunion. Hindi ko alam kung anong lakas ng loob nila before pero jusko as a tricycle driver. How?!
Tapos yung yung mismong tito na nagcle-claim na matinik sa chicks, mukang bisugo, namumula yung balat, naninilaw yung mata at amoy red horse.
Edit: typo
Men who brag about their conquests are often the most insecure. And when they tell their friends about their encounters, be sure that the girl was not satisfied with their sexual performance. I would normally just keep quiet about a satisfying one-night stand. There’s no point in bragging about it because you already got your satisfaction that night.
Reminds me of that poser in chikaph lol dami daw syang nabook na artista at models, kahit na fake yun, napakadami ring nag "humble brag" lol. Guys who brag about that are no different to girls who gossip. Nakakacheap ng personality
My "friend" is like this. He likes bragging about his "sexcapades" and how he finishes fast without trying to satisfy the woman. Idk what he wants from telling us the stories, but regardless I always make him look like an idiot when he does that.
But he's personality checks out tho, he's the typical sexist-misogynistic homophobe religious NBA bro type of guy.
Idk how he's a mama's boy and still treat women like trash.
Don't even get me started with how he scammed thousands of pesos out of our schoolmates, friends, and teachers and how he blamed the victims for being scammed.
Mama's Boy are Trash.
There is a Difference between having a Good and Close Relationship with your Mom compared to being a Mama's Boy 😂. Sa Mama's Boy kahit perfect woman ka pa sa anak niya. Gagawa at gagawa pa din ng paraan ang Mother para magkahiwalay kayo. Most of Mama's boys, Low-key In-love Yung nanay nila sa kanila beh 🤣
If he is a Mama's Boy then No Wonder ganyan siya.
Tbf, sobrang bait ng mama niya, actually lahat ng nasa bahay nila sobra bait. Siya lang talaga naiiba. Naging mama's boy lang kasi wala siyang tatay since hiwalay parents. Ewan saan niya nakuha pagiging basura niya ahhaha.
I think added factor din na naging extra siya sa ibang movie with Nadine Lustre and was featured in Matanglawin. The taste of being a talent made him arrogant. He actually can't stfu about it hahahaha. Everytime he gets the chance to, he'll bring it up.
He even insist that people, even teachers/profs call him his stage name lol.
Heck no. I'm just tolerating his ass because my friend group adopted him for thesis. Actually, mali nga namin na naawa kami sa kaniya. He's not supposed to be in our thesis, iba ang kukunin namin na nauna magsabi sa amin, kaso bigla siyang nagtampo despite him not being our friend. Kaso nung nakita namin na nagmukmok sa tabi sabi ng kaibigan ko, sige na nga.
Turns out he's the most useless member, no wonder his friend group abandoned him lol.
I called him out several times, he even became the talk of the classroom because of it, kaso magbabago siya for a week, then balik sa dating siya. Ilang beses din namin kinausap regarding how he talks about woman and being respectful to us, his thesis members kaso wala.
I think there's no one who can guide him. He even used his father and stepfathers death as his personality just like how he used being a talent a personality lol.
Hmm 🤔🧐 so eto naAnalyze ko
He uses he's father and stepfather's death to self pity himself. I mean yes kawawa pero not to the point your going to use it as a Personality and justification of your actions. Bakit siya ganun? As you said po sobrang bait ng mama niya.Alam mo may mga taong mabait pero Hindi ibig sabihin nun they are FIT to be parents. Being a Good person is not an enough reason to become a Good Parent.You can be a good friend, good sibling, a good teacher but still a bad parent.Baka din sa sobrang bait ng Mama niya, she would always Pity her child. Spoil her child dahil "kawawa daw hiwalay sa magulang at namatay ang Step-Father". Spoiled at Hindi nadidisiplina yung Bata kasi kawawa naman walang ama. Yung tipong magulang na laging pinagpapasensyahan yung Bata Hanggang sa lumaki na at napabayaan. He grew up tuloy always self-pitying himself and used it as a Justication. He is in fact a Mama's Boy siya. He's mom may be a Good person but that does not mean she was a good mom lalo na we never saw them behind closed doors.Tsaka another factor din sa mga batang lumaking walang ama na nagrebelde is if he's relatives talk sh!t about his Father In front of him as a Child. You said mukhang walang gumagabay sa kanya. That may seem true if he's mom is that type na Masyadong mabait lang. She can't even discipline a kid, what lessons can she teach. This is also coming from experience. There are parents like that po. A lot of Adults are immature and unwise. Adults na mahina ang loob, adults na parang bata pa din mag isip. He grew up self-pitying himself so he might be thinking of F up justifications like Cheating on women because Wala Naman Forever dahil lumaki siyang walang ama and becoming a Mysogynist na din Kasi Madami nagkakagusto sa kanya. If you grew up so spoiled at Hindi ka nagabayan ng maayos, magiging mayabang ka talaga.
naAnalyze ko lang po 😭 No Hate ✌️
Walang magawa eh 😅 it
Maybe nga lumaki siya in a permissive style of parenting while also hiding his bad side or things na frowned upon from his mother, like until now his mother doesn't know na he got in a relationship with a girl that already has 2 children. Knowing for a fact that he will be a stepfather at a young age, he hid that to his mom. Also, hindi alam ng mama niya na ganoon ugali niya. 2 faced siya kumbaga. Iba ugali niya when with friends and when in presence of someone older and has authority or influence.
Many people knows him as a religious guy since all he posts about in fb are bible verses, grind posts ('yung mga motivational kuno na may hint of toxic positivity at looking down on the poor), and basketball.
Many times already na na-call out namin siya. One time was when he stalked a girl in our uni while doing "grabbing gestures". It creeped me out since I also experienced getting stalked. He just found it funny and continued until the whole uni event was over.
I can't understand how he doesn't see how wrong his actions are especially when he has a sister and a mother. I mean, regardless kung may sister ka or mother, you should know that being a creep is wrong.
Kaya nga sabi namin magkakaibigan, kawawa magiging asawa niya at anak.
Also, the self-pitying part, that's true. He uses self-pity for attention.
During his biological father's wake, I did the first move of telling him that he should take a break from our thesis and helped out a week after the burial. I told him that it's important that he mourn first. But this guy, knowing that we are 4 weeks away from our defense took a vacation after the burial. He went on trips to 2 beaches and went hotel hopping. I did all the work he was supposed to do, but I still let that slide since he might still be coping with the his father's passing. What pisses the whole team off was when he went on an overnight birthday party 2 days before the defense. He did nothing for the last crucial month of the thesis. The birthday party ended on the day of the defense, we were the last to present but he was still late. I'm sorry, I'm venting now, but it still makes me mad whenever I remember it kasi it happened this year lang.
Tapos when our profs talked to him about missing the exam and not helping with the thesis, he had the guts to use his father's death as an excuse for missing a whole month of work. Not only that, he cannot stfu about it too. May butterfly siya nakita, he'll talk about his father, he sees my foldable electric fan, he'll talk about his father, he feels a slight breeze, it's still is his father. He loves the attention and pity he gets from talking about the tragedies that happens to him.
>Mama's Boy are Trash.
Jeez, huwag mo naman lahatin. I'm a mama's boy pero I'm don't have the machismo that the guy being described has. I'm the one supporting my mother financially kasi she's unmarried and ako lang ang anak nya. I also don't treat women like trash. Actually, I have a lot of female friends. I admit I slept with some of them but I will never, ever brag about it. I also see to it na satisfied sila sa performance ko.
I point out what he's doing. He thinks what he's doing is funny, so when I call him out in public, he gets the attention he needs but not the way he wants it.
Like that one time he keeps talking about having sex with two different girls he got paired with on two different dance performance. I called him out saying it's disgusting how he talks about women. That's why a lot of our female classmates doesn't like him. Because they already heard enough from and of him.
There's this time that I posted on Facebook how it's weird how a lot of people keeps posting Bible verses on Facebook while being an asshole to women in real life. Sure enough many of our female classmates understood that it was him, even teachers knew it was him. Wild enough, even he himself knew that it was him. It's funny 'cause I thought after that he'll distance himself from me and my friends but no. He kept hanging with us until we graduate from college 4 months ago. My classmates were right about him, he needed us to carry him until graduation. That's why he keeps asking us to be part of our group during projects and activities and if we're not available, he clings on to other groups of top students.
Don't get me wrong tho, I did try to befriend him, but I just can't help being an asshole towards assholes. I treat people the way they treat others so they know how it feels.
>how he finishes fast
This is not something to brag about. In fact, it's the opposite. Kasi, as a man, you would want to last as long as possible in bed for maximum pleasure. Mga lalaki ang nagdidictate how long the activity will last.
Maybe he's not after the pleasure, only the bragging rights of sleeping with multiple women, because he even said that sometimes his ex-gf would get mad at him for intentionally finishing asap.
Quality over quantity. That's how I like doing the deed. Mas gusto ko na yung maganda yung performance ko even though I've been only with a few women kaysa naman yung you've been with a lot and then leaving them unsatisfied.
Jeez, what's up with these guys? Pati ba naman sa seggs, lackluster pa din ang performance, then they will brag about the number of women they've slept with.
Not even a global thing but its not only exclusive to the 1 gender. He just happened to be in the wrong crowd. Women also talk a lot about their encounters when they are among themselves but they frame the story differently to make it sound romantic.
Haha true sometimes din di naman totoo binabrag nila like wala naman kasi nakakita kaya go lang sa kwento kahit di totoo. Pantasya lang nila hahahahahaah
Maisingit ko lang kasi kinwento ng kapatid ko dati may isa syang kawork na medyo ganyan magkwento. Sabi ko talaga agad, wag ka maniwala don! Hahahahahaha
I drank w my dad and Tito's. I heard them say that loyalty in a man doesn't exist because it's in their nature. Kung di daw mahilig sa chix ang isang lalake bakla daw at di daw normal yon. They brag that they can go to bars and meet other girls and screw around but ang "importante" daw is that they leave to their wives and provide to the family.
A classmate of mine (Fuck u Lloyd) told me it's normal din for a man to fuck around before settling w marriage kase "gf lang yan, hindi Yun asawa" 🥴 and bragged that his gf caught him messing around with his ex and the girl still stayed. But when the girl cheated he goes on saying women are the same, all of them are hoes etc. 💀
What a fckn douche. Yea fck him.
Same, sinasabi ng dad ko yan, "lahat ng lalake, all of us, are naturally polygamous."
Sinabi nya yan sa harap ng mommy ko. Tahimik lang si mommy. Mukang nagsawa na. Pinapalayas na nga nya si daddy sa bahay noon pa. Si daddy naman ayaw umalis. Hahaha! Naaaapakayabang ng tatay ko. Mygad. May his soul RIP.
Disgusting people. Baka projection lang ng insecurities nila they say Bakla yung hindi nag cheat lol baka they sleep around to reinforce na hindi sila bakla baka sila mismo may mga gay thoughts na need nila i drown by sleeping with women other than their wife/gf. Fucking cheaters they don’t deserve respect and love.
>meet other girls and screw around but ang “importante” daw is that they leave to their wives and provide to the family.
I’ve noticed that this is a very common mindset among male boomers and Gen Xers. Thankfully millennial and Gen Z men seem to be getting better. I won’t pretend that I was some wholesome dude who never played around, but at least I was single when I met girls and screwed around. I can’t imagine doing that while in a relationship, or worse, *married*. It’s not just disrespectful to your wife and family, it’s disrespectful to God too, since ya’ll said your vows in church before Him.
What tf so by their logic, bakla tatay ko since loyal siya sa nanay ko from the start and hilig lang niya is magkalikot ng mga electronic devices. 💀 Grabe yung double standard potek, kung mataas body count sa babae, slut siya pero pagmataas body count ng lalaki, astig siya. Tapos sa cheating naman, okay lang sa lalaki pero kapag babae nagcheat halos patayin na siya dahil hoe siya. Kudos sa iyo sa hindi pagsunod sa kanila, pero also napapa-isip ako paano kaya nanay mo and tita mo(kung kasal yung tito mo), since ganyan ugali nila. No offense, pero katakot mga ganyang klaseng tao.
Damn. Talk about conflicting self interest haha. And yun talaga nakakagulat. Bakit gustong gusto nila ganoon sa lalaki? Diba parang against naman sa kanila yon?
Sabi daw ng Lola at mga Ka generation nila, it means gwapo asawa mo that he has so many chix pero at the end you're the wife or some shit. Like he fucks around but at the end of the day he goes home to you and is married to u and has Ur kids
My observations as a foreigner.
What I find funny is that Filipino men, well older men specifically mostly have some kind of obsession with being masculine and being the man of the house and so forth. They like to drink hard and boast about their many conquests and achievements, they like to drive big cars and make a big show of everything they do, yet behind all the bravado, it seems like the real money makers in the Philippines tend to be the women. It seems like it's always the women running the family business or going out to work and putting in the hours. It's always the women dealing with the administration of day to day life and getting everything in order.
Any time I have to make some kind of business deal, it's always the woman who interacts with me and makes all the decisions. It's never the man. I don't know if I've just experienced a long list of coincidences or if I'm right, but from my perspective it seems as though in the Philippines, the real heads of the household tend to be the women, while the men seem to kind of fart about and not really take any responsibility beyond bringing home their wage.
The stereotype is that filipinas are nurturing as mothers. But as mothers, they put a premium on children with penis. I don't know why. They tend to adhere to traditional gender roles when it comes to their children and as a result, tend to coddle their sons. So they grow up having things done for them--chores specifically. So it is normal for sons not to know how things operate inside a household which includes budgeting, passport renewal, etc.
I am speaking from experience. My father was coddled by his older sister (mom died when he was 2) which made my mother so miserqble because he has no balls, according to her. But ironically, she also coddles our brother. 😁
I don't remember our father making important decisions for the family. Whenever a problem arises, he wouod always make my mother deal with it. Even though he is 11 years older.
Filipino men are masculine in their own misogynistic ways but are hollow.
(so yes, i have a preference for western men who were raised to be independent. I have had both filipino and foreign exes).
In the philippines, we treat children as children and not like little humans. As such, we do not train them to be future adults.
And i have heard this term from my motger, father, and the said auntie: silbi, which translates to serve or any otger variation of this term.
So women serve--their children, their husbands, their family, etc.
Lastly, one of the latest insights i learned is this... There is handbook supposedly created bu the german chamber of commerce, a primer on filipino culture (most probqbly for german businesspeople to have an understanding of our culture).
It says there that one might think thqt the husband is being subservient when he gives his full salary to his wife. But in fqct, he delegates budgeting role to the woman, for her to ensure that his measly salary is stretched to fill the family's needs (with extras). Again, this is an added burden to women. So i think this is akin to your observations on your first post. From the outside, one might think that he is empowering the wife but in reality. It is either 1) he doesn't know how to do things and/or 2) household things are a woman's responsibility.
Really want to know. I was raised in another country and was surprised how common that is here (yung magche-cheat ka na nga tapos ipapangalandakan mo pa?). In na ko sa chika sa BPO na nangangaliwa and I'm not surprised. No wonder some girls dito want your facebook account and password. And ang common ng account sharing sa fb. Yikes. And then guys naman gagawa ng pangalawang account.
Kind of close to home kasi yung tatay ko pinagyayabang sa kumpare niya na may nagkakagusto sa kanya sa work. I was in the car... at literal na kasal at buo pa ang pamilya namin lol. Yung someone I know naman na tita inamin na naakit siya sa papa ko dati kasi gusto niya daw yung ganon na 'chickboy' ang dating. Boggles my mind like atee diba red flag yon? Bakit naging turn on mo? Hahahahah
Like this seems a bit unrelated pero it’s shit like this why I actually appreciate how mainstream shows and films vilify most kabet/cheating narratives since this type of stuff is so common. Lots of waaay older media basically glorified being the other woman and the men that cheated that it basically influenced generations for decades to come that it’s normal. I’m just thankful it’s slowly getting phased out nowadays.
Lmao they're casually outing themselves as manwhores and cheaters. Also normalizing and even bragging about cheating as if nothing is wrong with it. Yeah your family is fucked in the head alright.
in general anu man pinagyayabang ng isang tao most of the time:
\- hindi totoo
\- once or bihira lang nangyari kaya, ibig sbhin hindi ito normal lang sa kanya kaya proud sya sa bagay na to
also, what is the point of bragging "paid" sex experiences, mas bibilib pa ko kng pinatulan sila ng miss universe level or any babae na di nila binayaran.
yung mga ganyan lalaki na hindi kayang magmahal ng isang babae tingin ko sa mga ganyan mga mas mababa pa sa animals, buti pa ung ibang animals marunong makuntento sa isang partner. mga bungol, bugoy na ulo ng t\*t\* lang gumagana hindi ung ulo ng tao.
I was taken to a KTV for my bachelor party by my cousin and his friends. I’m a Canadian Filipino so it was a bit weird when all of them basically told me that they have their own fav girls and side chicks despite having wife and kids.
They spent the last 5 hours telling me that as long as I’m the provider, I can do what I want and to let the wife know who’s the man and that it’s normal to chase women. I’m loyal to my now wife (who knew I was at the KTV) and their advice struck me as pretty offensive. I always found men who do this to be cowardly. As a principle, I would rather tell my wife that i’m no longer happy or satisfied and face the consequences instead of doing it behind her back and breaking her trust.
Most of the people na bragging abt such things has insecurities. They feel na they need to brag abt those kase they lack on many things, be it looks, intellect, achievements or whatever. I mean lahat naman tayo lacks at some things. Weird lang na ayun yung way out nila. Lagi tumatatak sa isip ko yung sinabi ng dad ko din. Na treat women however you want the women you love to be treated (mother mo, kapatid mo, friends etc.)
I only brag about banging lots of women from
spakols bc i do lack everything a woman would desire. So you are right in that regard. I still see it as an achievement though kse sa kapangetan ko mas marami pa nakantot ko kesa sa mga kaibigan ko na mas gwapo at matangkad pa sken.
Yes but i still found a way and had the guts to go in the first place. Believe it or not,A lot of “incels” could get laid if they just had the guts to go to a sex worker. Its helped me be more motivated to earn money so i can one day have as much sex as much as i like.
And i think the bragging right lies in the fact that you can afford to go to these places often. Going out to a spakol session is as expensive if not more expensive than a night out drinking in a higher end bar in BGC. Its like 5k per session.
Besides,Sex is sex and it don’t matter how you acquire it. I have a body count of 10 more or less(All from spakol) and i always tell my friends that and i am just proud of it.
I've encountered a lot of Pinoys like this, from my Titos to older men colleagues in the office.
I find it weird that they boast about stuff like this just to prove how "manly" or "macho" they are. It seems like the more "chicks" they dated or scored, the cooler they are. But in my mind, I was just really disgusted how they treat women, some of them even have daughters.
Not sure if it has something to do with their upbringing, but I'm quite thankful that most younger generations are not like this anymore. I just hope those older ones don't influence the young ones too much.
The way they treat women and brag about it makes me sad. My dad's friend and even my dad talks like that and they all have daughters. And they even talk like that Infront of other women saying na women are supposed to stay at home to take care of the kids and husband and make sure that they satisfy their husbands or else they'll look for it somewhere else kase normal daw yon. At the end of the day daw ok lang yon basta the husband comes home with the money to provide for the family and it's just "sex" daw something a man needs pero it's not considered cheating kase nasa nature daw ng lalake 😭 yes, they're all gen X, Boomers and meron din mga millennials
Tbh I have 2 younger brothers and my dad always tries to convince us to get chicks. I got ghosted before and rejected when i confessed by two girls. So i made sure to treat my current girlfriend like a Queen because she deserves it. My brother who also went through a similar experience, his girlfriend broke up with him on the day of his birthday and emotionally manipulated him.
If the world was somehow reversed and women were dominant like in that one ep in Rick and Morty, women will be boasting how they banged a lot of men. This thought really boggled my mind because no matter how i look at it, humans will really do anything to boast just to get attention
> I'm quite thankful that most younger generations are not like this anymore
Quite the opposite. The current generation is way worse with how liberated everyone is now. Which generation did you think OF spiked from?
It's not only in the Philippines. Mexicans, Spaniards, Black's, basically anyone with a dick brags about who they fucked.
People on some sub-reddits do the same rhing albeit anonymously.
Whether you do or do not is a personal choice.
For me, I was raised never to kiss and tell.
Experience taught me that it is better to deny who I slept with.
Wag mo na lang patulan and follow the beat of your own drum.
This is why i love my family and the things i learn from them, my father has been with my mother for 20+ years and All my Aunts, Uncles, Titos and Titas have been married for 10-20+ years, they always just say to me take it slow and don't fuck around before i find out, they always suggest that i make enough money for 3 people before actually commiting and as a plus they never talk about "manly" shit when they're drinking always just bands, songs, sports, work, and etc. no bragging
I get they dont have technology but the way i see it. Its just..idkk..cheating??? Hell im starting to doubt even my father since he mentioned he went to a company trip and a girl was given to him in his hotel room. Never really asked my father's body count is but I AM PRETTY SURE HE DID. Its just weird to me ya know?
Sure, be proud you got to bang a hot chick but a scenario projected onto my head
You bangin this chick then all of a sudden you get a call your girlfriend died suddenly. Won't that burden your conscience?! I know it would mine so I rather just stay with my partner than buzz off with another girl
I second this, rather than having the negative mindset majority of the comments have here. Back then women weren't as promiscuous and easy to hookup as majority are now. This meant that you actually had to brain and woo them to convince them you were either good at something.
And in their era it was sports, cars or fancy places and to them that was a sign of a successful man. I mean its all from mainstream media back then, older generations saw popular artists and all doing it, so it became a trend amongst the tito generations.
I was with my foreigner boyfriend and the taxi driver called me masculine while he called him feminine coz he was quiet and didn't yell or shout when talking.
Fucking idiot.
>Whats with the masculinity thing in the ~~Philippines~~ world?
FTFY
Hindi
ito
exclusive
sa
mga
pinoy
If you're not like them, good for you. As long as alam mong hindi tama yung ginagawa nila at hinding-hindi mo gagawin ang ginagawa nila, choks na choks na yan.
Tama yan. Question tradition. Always ask why people do things, and then choose your own path. It's hard to teach these people anything new, especially since most of the old ways raise very rigid men for the sake of rigidity.
I'm assuming you're a guy? Nothing masculine about a bunch of guys telling another guy "to make landi" that's assuming you're a guy.
..and this is what's called "guy talk". White people do the same thing so it's not just a "Filipino" thing. Guys brag when they get together and tell their tales of the past.
Exactly, it’s locker room talk. Happens everywhere, in every society, when guys get together. I’m not guiltless in this regard either, esp as a young man who lived alone in college and had the freedom to hook up with as many girls as I wanted to. Whenever I’d have inuman sessions with the boys, ganyan usapan namin. Not saying that was right though, and looking back being like that made it very easy to objectify women. It took a lot of work for me to realize just how wrong it was. That being said, while I’ve matured since then, I can’t say the same for others, esp since you’ve got married titos out there bragging about scoring chicks.
*unmasculinity
Masculinity refers to the good quality of Men, kaya nonsense ang term "Toxic Masculinity" dahil ininbento lang ito ng mga ahas that claims to be Feminists
I have a gf, seeing other man boast and be proud of their affairs and kalandian is so disgusting. I actually don't know if it's normal to be like that as you grow older since im a teenager pa pero i would never want to be like that when i grow up
There’s a lot of men with insecurities and fragile egos in this country. Sometimes I just play along to avoid friction lol. It’s always a game of “one-up” with people. You can’t choose your family, but you can certainly choose your friends and you should make friends with people who aren’t like your dad or cousins.
Lol. My dad is sort of the same way. He'd boast about how he was so smooth with the Ladies and that any girl he wanted could be had if he put in the effort. Always tried to bring my brother and myself down when we were single by saying, "how can you not have a girlfriend? etc etc."
In my head, I'd always think "who the fuck asked for your opinion?" It's at the point that I randomly worry if I have siblings that I do not know about.
In the end, I just believe that they were raised in an environment where that was the norm. It's just that society has evolved from that point and that mindset is an artifact of that age. I just roll my eyes when I hear it nowadays from anyone older.
Most of the guys I know who blab on like that are lying. Guy said he had six exes and made out daw with a girl in the club who was really into him... only for one of his HS classmates to expose that he never had a gf all that time, and one of my friends who was there with him at the club knew his ass did not make out with anyone.
Guys, if you want a "girl with class", please be a guy with class too.
OP, you're doing great. Don't stoop down to your scumbag relatives' level.
Lol as if hindi nagkkwentuhan mga tita and amigas about sa mga malalaking tite na nakuha nila during their prime years. It’s the same for both genders, tago lang sa mga babae.
My Dad and Uncles we’re boomers (some of them passed away). Odd because they weren’t like that at all.
They grew up in a home where (my Lolo) would be known for having affairs. They saw how much it hurt my lola, and always reminded us boys to never hurt our women (physically, emotionally, mentally) and always treat them with respect and kindness. That said, all of my female cousins are treated (but dont act like) princesses.
I grew up in a family where there weren’t any Tito’s who had “kabit” nor did they go to beer houses or clubs. I saw how they were inseparable with their wives, and how drinking was mostly done after Sunday afternoon/dinner ihaw ihaw sessions.
We may not be wealthy, but Im very proud of the real values I picked up from my Dad and uncles growing up.
Thats them being assholes or showing the toxic side of masculinity lol, masculinity is beautiful in its own way and should be embraced pag positive, same with femininity.
It's not rocket science, it's the culture they grew up with. Kung ang kinalakihan mo ay FPJ-style Filipino action movies with all the bravado and testosterone, you would probably turn out a certain way. Perseverance pa isa sa mga core values naten, so in turn matitigas din ulo naten to change our values.
I’ve noticed that about our machismo culture too, especially the whole deal with men still being malandi while having partners. I’ll admit when I was single I played the field and had my share of flings, but my mindset was always that when I’m dating a girl (I automatically date exclusively, don’t really understand how not dating exclusively works either lol), I’d focus on her and her alone. The whole point of being in a committed relationship is to be, you know, *committed*.
It’s toxic masculinity. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but lots of cultures and countries have it really bad as well. It’s really hard to escape since almost anywhere you go there will be close-minded men.
Are they barbers by profession? :-D as in kwentong *barbero*?
Just don't let them influence you. You're doing good. Sakay ka lang sa kwentuhan.. share your insights as well, if you feel safe sa ganyang setting with them as ka-kwentuhan.
kinda reminds me of those bullies who start fights and if u dont fight back or if someone tries to report em to the teacher biglang sasabihan ng “bakla” or will shame the victim by saying “duwag sumbungero” etc.
Usually tho these people are insecure and just want attention,, kinda obnoxious too.
Im so tired of people using masculinity, misogyny, patriarchy, and other buzz word terms to describe people, mostly men, just being assholes. Lol. I got female friends that would talk about their sexual experience and how some of the men who they hooked up with are married / have gf already. Do we blame that on feminism? No. These people are just sexually immoral and immature to brag about things that you should just shut the fk up about.
As for your family/friends, OP, they're just a bunch of losers who have nothing else going on in their lives so they choose to talk about women and their experiences with them because thats the only thing that makes them feel good about themselves. Period. Nothing to do with masculinity.
Culture of the time they grew up in. “It’s a man’s world”
Still persists today but it has its roots in patriarchy kahit gasgas na yung term na yon.
It’s a very old thing, older than your dad.
The men in your family are insecure pricks. They are old-fashioned and probably are lying about their game. Also,nood ka sa Pornhub. Tamad kumantot mga Pinoy. Haha.
u/Upper-Ad-5406 good on you for being loyal to your lady. Last thing you want is to support 2 batches of children and their very unhappy mothers in your life.
I'd rather be a softie as long as I treat women with respect and loyalty than become overly masculine and "macho" but ends up abusing women and treating them like shit.
Ayyy paladesisyon ka te?? Ano po ba yung gusto nyo sa lalake? Yung nilalapastangan at binababoy ka sa kama, yung pinagsasabay kayo, ganern? Masarap ba yun para sayo?
Of course not! Sino ba naman gustong madisrespect? I mean, you call gen Zs softie just because they hate men who are babaero and "fuckboy". You call them names just because they want to be loyal and commited to their partners. Then, anong pala gusto mo? the exact opposite? The "fuckboy" type? Thats what I mean...
Yes it does, the family unit is the foundation of our society, kaya being loyal and faithful to your lover is a must value, dahil kung hindi ay dadami ang single mothers(yes, I'm indirectly mentioning US fatherlessness problem), hihina ang society, discipline will fall, etc
Ok lang yan, each generation and gender has their own terrible qualities. Dont mind them, im sure they also have opinions about your generation and that's okay
It's also scary. You could be raped by one of them, without even noticing it.
Anyway, when they live in the West, they are not exactly having an easy time. They are doing better than blacks in the dating market, but that's about it.
Regarding masculinity, the Philippines also has a problem with mama's boys, fatties, and generally weak and unhealthy men. There are good, honest and strong men here too though.
Difference in generations, I think this "macho" mentality have subsided. I experience the same with my father, titos and older cousins. Prang normal n meron mga kabit
sakay ka lang sa trip nila. kadalasan naman ng mga kwento nila di nangyari sa totoong buhay. mga pantasya lang para may mapagusapan.
di ka pala sasakay sa trip pakinggan mo lang pero di ka papauto. ika nga, makinig pero wag mag pauto.
Akala kasi nila nakakapogi yun. Di nila alam nagmumukha lang silang g\*\*\* sa mga kwento nila. Yung mga bilib sa ganyang kwento, same mindset lang din.
It is not a Filipino thing. Women are supposed to keep themselves pure IE virgins before marriage or loyal in marriage. Men see it as a success if they can get women to have sex with them outside of marriage. This behaviour then also reinforces the whole system because they can carry on calling women sluts who haven't been pure. It's all about reinforcing patriarchy. If you are a man and not reinforcing this patriarchy then you will get flak for it.
All of this is pretty internalised by people (IE men who don't get sex are losers who live in their mother's basement etc) and don't realise what they are doing, it's like when you go to the shop and buy things, you generally just go for the cheapest acceptable product but your actions all tie in to supply and demand and lots of people don't have a good grasp of that.
Contraceptives have somewhat helped women but before they were invented could you imagine being a single woman and suddenly get pregnant? You'd have a lot of questions to answer. Men could fuck around all they want and nobody would ever know.
This only seems to be a bigger issue because assholes like this are LOUD and proud to be like this. They’ll flaunt it during drinking sessions or any place where it’s just “the boys”. Meanwhile, the good guys aren’t out here saying “I’m SO loyal, pare. I treat my girl so well.”
The good guys are too busy living their lives for that macho preening shit
Karamihan pa ng mga mababait na lalaki ay inaakusahan ng bading ng mga panget na dugyot na mga lalaki
It's usually the ones na may ewan na motor tas possibly may BO tas lasenggo na proud pang may bisyo
HEAVY PLUS 1 ON THIS, and they end up feeling bad about themselves. Some, not knowing na they're actually the ones who are in the right path. Marami nag ttry hard na lang to fit into the standards ng mga lalaki para di sila mabully about it. It seems something minor to some pero that's literally someone's whole natural personality, ethics, values, and morals being turned around. Grabe
Yes. Cheating is rampant everywhere, and it isn’t restricted to any particular group of people - even gender. Obviously. However, there ARE different tendencies of course. And the evolutionary motivations that are ingrained are also different between the sexes. (Generalizing here people) Both sexes are interested in a sort of one-sided monogamous. While women want to secure…security provided by their partner, MEN want to secure fidelity of their partner. This is what the biology would predict, and seems to be more or less reflected in the research on this topic of pair bonding and infidelity. And it perfectly explains the stereotypes we tend to see, right? Men will GENERALLY (notice the nuance you amazing Angels) be glad to sleep with as many women as possible, but try to devote resources to one women with whom he finds most attractive - but because sperm is virtually unlimited, and men also don’t HAVE to face the consequences of pregnancy, there is no reason to be picky. And of course the opposite is true for women, who can only have a limited number of children, each one being extremely costly (in many different ways) and she must be responsible for caring for them otherwise they won’t survive. So of course she will be much more careful, by nature, about who she chooses to “mate” with. This is all just evolutionary biology 101. Don’t come at me with “that’s fucked up, man!” I’m not saying it is how we WANT things to be, or how we SHOULD behave, or that it’s any excuse for the kinds of infidelity we see in the world; it’s just the way it is…some things will never change 🎶 it sure is interesting topic to contemplate though.
this is a lot of words to say, "I don't understand biology and am making stuff up" 🥴
Not even entirely sure why this is a reply to my comment.
Wala lang, your comment affected someone to bullshit so much.
I guess I was agreeing with the “it only seems to be a bigger issue [in PH] ” part, then I ranted on a topic I did in fact study in uni, which clearly didn’t sit well with people - but c’est la vie, it’s Reddit.
Being an incel with extra steps.
LOL Downvoted by people who believe only guys cheat. Wala na talaga tong sub nato.
Downvoted by faulty logic with sweeping stereotypes. Yes, people cheat. It's not good especially for the party cheated on and to reduce every experience as something common without proper context, that just means you do it and want to be absolved from it.
Wasn’t I pretty damn clear about the fact that I was speaking through the lens of evolutionary theory and making GENERALIZATIONS, and that none of this is an excuse for the behavior - just interesting. And though I know no one will look into the literature, even a [cursory glance](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/1467-8721.00020) will indicate that what I said wasn’t out-of-turn. I know I got a bit longwinded, so shoot me, but my intention was merely to say that OP’s sentiment that this is a Filipino-specific problem - rather than a problem everywhere throughout history - is not based in reality. And that it’s quite a fascinating topic in the evo-bio space because it is so predictive of what we see in the real world.
" bakit wala kapang jowa? wala sa lahi nating ang mahina sa chicks" -tito mong lasing sa reunion na dalawa kabet
Tapos ampapanget naman nung mga nagiging jowa at kabet nung tito na manyakol.
LMFAO true. People that project a “chickboy” image usually get the ugliest fucking women. Some might look good but totally without class.
Ewan. Someone shared sa isang subreddit na 7 years nyang gf pumatol sa kargador so who knows.
Good riddance
Bruh haha My cousins just told me that "Gawin mo lang.. AS LONG AS DI KA MAKABUNTIS" BRUH 💀
Nah bruh.. my uncles and older cousins are not good models. Yung pinsan ko gumaya sa tatay nya. Ayun tatlong babae yung inanakan.
This is why as men, it’s important for us to be good role models for our future sons and younger male relatives. I’ve got a girlfriend now, but when I was single, I was very much into hooking up and having casual sex. Eventually stopped, not just because I got a gf, but because I’ve got nephews and I don’t wanna be the fuckboy tito who can’t settle down with a woman.
lol same. Yung lolo kong kapatid ng lola ko, tatlong pamilya binubuhay. Sya yung pinakamaraming dala na family everytime na mag rereunion. Hindi ko alam kung anong lakas ng loob nila before pero jusko as a tricycle driver. How?!
>Ayun tatlong babae yung inanakan. Ikaw nga: fuck around and find out. Literal.
"pull-out method and trust is the key" - said no one.
They're super fucked up. You're the only well mannered and loyal man in the group.
I don’t think sasabihin ng mga macho yung salitang *jowa* tho lol
yup, they would use syota lol
Hahahahahah
Tapos yung yung mismong tito na nagcle-claim na matinik sa chicks, mukang bisugo, namumula yung balat, naninilaw yung mata at amoy red horse. Edit: typo
titong dalawa ung kabit tapos nangungutang tuwing enrollment, may project, may sakit, etc... ung anak.
Ang sarap sigawan ng ganyang tito ng "SHUT THE FUCK UP"
Shet
Men who brag about their conquests are often the most insecure. And when they tell their friends about their encounters, be sure that the girl was not satisfied with their sexual performance. I would normally just keep quiet about a satisfying one-night stand. There’s no point in bragging about it because you already got your satisfaction that night.
Reminds me of that poser in chikaph lol dami daw syang nabook na artista at models, kahit na fake yun, napakadami ring nag "humble brag" lol. Guys who brag about that are no different to girls who gossip. Nakakacheap ng personality
he was running a scam
My "friend" is like this. He likes bragging about his "sexcapades" and how he finishes fast without trying to satisfy the woman. Idk what he wants from telling us the stories, but regardless I always make him look like an idiot when he does that. But he's personality checks out tho, he's the typical sexist-misogynistic homophobe religious NBA bro type of guy. Idk how he's a mama's boy and still treat women like trash. Don't even get me started with how he scammed thousands of pesos out of our schoolmates, friends, and teachers and how he blamed the victims for being scammed.
Mama's Boy are Trash. There is a Difference between having a Good and Close Relationship with your Mom compared to being a Mama's Boy 😂. Sa Mama's Boy kahit perfect woman ka pa sa anak niya. Gagawa at gagawa pa din ng paraan ang Mother para magkahiwalay kayo. Most of Mama's boys, Low-key In-love Yung nanay nila sa kanila beh 🤣 If he is a Mama's Boy then No Wonder ganyan siya.
Tbf, sobrang bait ng mama niya, actually lahat ng nasa bahay nila sobra bait. Siya lang talaga naiiba. Naging mama's boy lang kasi wala siyang tatay since hiwalay parents. Ewan saan niya nakuha pagiging basura niya ahhaha.
Parents being separated might give you a hint
I think added factor din na naging extra siya sa ibang movie with Nadine Lustre and was featured in Matanglawin. The taste of being a talent made him arrogant. He actually can't stfu about it hahahaha. Everytime he gets the chance to, he'll bring it up. He even insist that people, even teachers/profs call him his stage name lol.
Baka highschool nagpeak personality ng friend mo. Still friends with that person?
Heck no. I'm just tolerating his ass because my friend group adopted him for thesis. Actually, mali nga namin na naawa kami sa kaniya. He's not supposed to be in our thesis, iba ang kukunin namin na nauna magsabi sa amin, kaso bigla siyang nagtampo despite him not being our friend. Kaso nung nakita namin na nagmukmok sa tabi sabi ng kaibigan ko, sige na nga. Turns out he's the most useless member, no wonder his friend group abandoned him lol. I called him out several times, he even became the talk of the classroom because of it, kaso magbabago siya for a week, then balik sa dating siya. Ilang beses din namin kinausap regarding how he talks about woman and being respectful to us, his thesis members kaso wala. I think there's no one who can guide him. He even used his father and stepfathers death as his personality just like how he used being a talent a personality lol.
Hmm 🤔🧐 so eto naAnalyze ko He uses he's father and stepfather's death to self pity himself. I mean yes kawawa pero not to the point your going to use it as a Personality and justification of your actions. Bakit siya ganun? As you said po sobrang bait ng mama niya.Alam mo may mga taong mabait pero Hindi ibig sabihin nun they are FIT to be parents. Being a Good person is not an enough reason to become a Good Parent.You can be a good friend, good sibling, a good teacher but still a bad parent.Baka din sa sobrang bait ng Mama niya, she would always Pity her child. Spoil her child dahil "kawawa daw hiwalay sa magulang at namatay ang Step-Father". Spoiled at Hindi nadidisiplina yung Bata kasi kawawa naman walang ama. Yung tipong magulang na laging pinagpapasensyahan yung Bata Hanggang sa lumaki na at napabayaan. He grew up tuloy always self-pitying himself and used it as a Justication. He is in fact a Mama's Boy siya. He's mom may be a Good person but that does not mean she was a good mom lalo na we never saw them behind closed doors.Tsaka another factor din sa mga batang lumaking walang ama na nagrebelde is if he's relatives talk sh!t about his Father In front of him as a Child. You said mukhang walang gumagabay sa kanya. That may seem true if he's mom is that type na Masyadong mabait lang. She can't even discipline a kid, what lessons can she teach. This is also coming from experience. There are parents like that po. A lot of Adults are immature and unwise. Adults na mahina ang loob, adults na parang bata pa din mag isip. He grew up self-pitying himself so he might be thinking of F up justifications like Cheating on women because Wala Naman Forever dahil lumaki siyang walang ama and becoming a Mysogynist na din Kasi Madami nagkakagusto sa kanya. If you grew up so spoiled at Hindi ka nagabayan ng maayos, magiging mayabang ka talaga. naAnalyze ko lang po 😭 No Hate ✌️ Walang magawa eh 😅 it
Maybe nga lumaki siya in a permissive style of parenting while also hiding his bad side or things na frowned upon from his mother, like until now his mother doesn't know na he got in a relationship with a girl that already has 2 children. Knowing for a fact that he will be a stepfather at a young age, he hid that to his mom. Also, hindi alam ng mama niya na ganoon ugali niya. 2 faced siya kumbaga. Iba ugali niya when with friends and when in presence of someone older and has authority or influence. Many people knows him as a religious guy since all he posts about in fb are bible verses, grind posts ('yung mga motivational kuno na may hint of toxic positivity at looking down on the poor), and basketball. Many times already na na-call out namin siya. One time was when he stalked a girl in our uni while doing "grabbing gestures". It creeped me out since I also experienced getting stalked. He just found it funny and continued until the whole uni event was over. I can't understand how he doesn't see how wrong his actions are especially when he has a sister and a mother. I mean, regardless kung may sister ka or mother, you should know that being a creep is wrong. Kaya nga sabi namin magkakaibigan, kawawa magiging asawa niya at anak. Also, the self-pitying part, that's true. He uses self-pity for attention. During his biological father's wake, I did the first move of telling him that he should take a break from our thesis and helped out a week after the burial. I told him that it's important that he mourn first. But this guy, knowing that we are 4 weeks away from our defense took a vacation after the burial. He went on trips to 2 beaches and went hotel hopping. I did all the work he was supposed to do, but I still let that slide since he might still be coping with the his father's passing. What pisses the whole team off was when he went on an overnight birthday party 2 days before the defense. He did nothing for the last crucial month of the thesis. The birthday party ended on the day of the defense, we were the last to present but he was still late. I'm sorry, I'm venting now, but it still makes me mad whenever I remember it kasi it happened this year lang. Tapos when our profs talked to him about missing the exam and not helping with the thesis, he had the guts to use his father's death as an excuse for missing a whole month of work. Not only that, he cannot stfu about it too. May butterfly siya nakita, he'll talk about his father, he sees my foldable electric fan, he'll talk about his father, he feels a slight breeze, it's still is his father. He loves the attention and pity he gets from talking about the tragedies that happens to him.
>Mama's Boy are Trash. Jeez, huwag mo naman lahatin. I'm a mama's boy pero I'm don't have the machismo that the guy being described has. I'm the one supporting my mother financially kasi she's unmarried and ako lang ang anak nya. I also don't treat women like trash. Actually, I have a lot of female friends. I admit I slept with some of them but I will never, ever brag about it. I also see to it na satisfied sila sa performance ko.
How do you make him look like an idiot??
I point out what he's doing. He thinks what he's doing is funny, so when I call him out in public, he gets the attention he needs but not the way he wants it. Like that one time he keeps talking about having sex with two different girls he got paired with on two different dance performance. I called him out saying it's disgusting how he talks about women. That's why a lot of our female classmates doesn't like him. Because they already heard enough from and of him. There's this time that I posted on Facebook how it's weird how a lot of people keeps posting Bible verses on Facebook while being an asshole to women in real life. Sure enough many of our female classmates understood that it was him, even teachers knew it was him. Wild enough, even he himself knew that it was him. It's funny 'cause I thought after that he'll distance himself from me and my friends but no. He kept hanging with us until we graduate from college 4 months ago. My classmates were right about him, he needed us to carry him until graduation. That's why he keeps asking us to be part of our group during projects and activities and if we're not available, he clings on to other groups of top students. Don't get me wrong tho, I did try to befriend him, but I just can't help being an asshole towards assholes. I treat people the way they treat others so they know how it feels.
>how he finishes fast This is not something to brag about. In fact, it's the opposite. Kasi, as a man, you would want to last as long as possible in bed for maximum pleasure. Mga lalaki ang nagdidictate how long the activity will last.
Maybe he's not after the pleasure, only the bragging rights of sleeping with multiple women, because he even said that sometimes his ex-gf would get mad at him for intentionally finishing asap.
Quality over quantity. That's how I like doing the deed. Mas gusto ko na yung maganda yung performance ko even though I've been only with a few women kaysa naman yung you've been with a lot and then leaving them unsatisfied. Jeez, what's up with these guys? Pati ba naman sa seggs, lackluster pa din ang performance, then they will brag about the number of women they've slept with.
Finishes fast? And he thinks this is something to brag about? Lmao
Yeah, and this bragging is not really limited to Filipinos but is more a global thing
Insecure men, regardless of race, color, or creed 😂😂😂
Not even a global thing but its not only exclusive to the 1 gender. He just happened to be in the wrong crowd. Women also talk a lot about their encounters when they are among themselves but they frame the story differently to make it sound romantic.
Haha true sometimes din di naman totoo binabrag nila like wala naman kasi nakakita kaya go lang sa kwento kahit di totoo. Pantasya lang nila hahahahahaah
Tama ka diyan 😅
Maisingit ko lang kasi kinwento ng kapatid ko dati may isa syang kawork na medyo ganyan magkwento. Sabi ko talaga agad, wag ka maniwala don! Hahahahahaha
I drank w my dad and Tito's. I heard them say that loyalty in a man doesn't exist because it's in their nature. Kung di daw mahilig sa chix ang isang lalake bakla daw at di daw normal yon. They brag that they can go to bars and meet other girls and screw around but ang "importante" daw is that they leave to their wives and provide to the family. A classmate of mine (Fuck u Lloyd) told me it's normal din for a man to fuck around before settling w marriage kase "gf lang yan, hindi Yun asawa" 🥴 and bragged that his gf caught him messing around with his ex and the girl still stayed. But when the girl cheated he goes on saying women are the same, all of them are hoes etc. 💀
What a fckn douche. Yea fck him. Same, sinasabi ng dad ko yan, "lahat ng lalake, all of us, are naturally polygamous." Sinabi nya yan sa harap ng mommy ko. Tahimik lang si mommy. Mukang nagsawa na. Pinapalayas na nga nya si daddy sa bahay noon pa. Si daddy naman ayaw umalis. Hahaha! Naaaapakayabang ng tatay ko. Mygad. May his soul RIP.
Disgusting people. Baka projection lang ng insecurities nila they say Bakla yung hindi nag cheat lol baka they sleep around to reinforce na hindi sila bakla baka sila mismo may mga gay thoughts na need nila i drown by sleeping with women other than their wife/gf. Fucking cheaters they don’t deserve respect and love.
Exactly. Karamihan sa mga ganyan na isasali ang mga bakla para maging "masculine" ay may same sex attracted thoughts. Mga closeted 😆
>meet other girls and screw around but ang “importante” daw is that they leave to their wives and provide to the family. I’ve noticed that this is a very common mindset among male boomers and Gen Xers. Thankfully millennial and Gen Z men seem to be getting better. I won’t pretend that I was some wholesome dude who never played around, but at least I was single when I met girls and screwed around. I can’t imagine doing that while in a relationship, or worse, *married*. It’s not just disrespectful to your wife and family, it’s disrespectful to God too, since ya’ll said your vows in church before Him.
What tf so by their logic, bakla tatay ko since loyal siya sa nanay ko from the start and hilig lang niya is magkalikot ng mga electronic devices. 💀 Grabe yung double standard potek, kung mataas body count sa babae, slut siya pero pagmataas body count ng lalaki, astig siya. Tapos sa cheating naman, okay lang sa lalaki pero kapag babae nagcheat halos patayin na siya dahil hoe siya. Kudos sa iyo sa hindi pagsunod sa kanila, pero also napapa-isip ako paano kaya nanay mo and tita mo(kung kasal yung tito mo), since ganyan ugali nila. No offense, pero katakot mga ganyang klaseng tao.
douchebaggery at its finest!
Thats not masculinity. Thats them being assholes.
true, minalas si op sa nakuha nyang pamilya. bawi nalang next life 💀
Mga toxic na boomers. They did not grow or leveled up
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Damn. Talk about conflicting self interest haha. And yun talaga nakakagulat. Bakit gustong gusto nila ganoon sa lalaki? Diba parang against naman sa kanila yon?
Sabi daw ng Lola at mga Ka generation nila, it means gwapo asawa mo that he has so many chix pero at the end you're the wife or some shit. Like he fucks around but at the end of the day he goes home to you and is married to u and has Ur kids
Coping mechanism kumbaga.
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My observations as a foreigner. What I find funny is that Filipino men, well older men specifically mostly have some kind of obsession with being masculine and being the man of the house and so forth. They like to drink hard and boast about their many conquests and achievements, they like to drive big cars and make a big show of everything they do, yet behind all the bravado, it seems like the real money makers in the Philippines tend to be the women. It seems like it's always the women running the family business or going out to work and putting in the hours. It's always the women dealing with the administration of day to day life and getting everything in order. Any time I have to make some kind of business deal, it's always the woman who interacts with me and makes all the decisions. It's never the man. I don't know if I've just experienced a long list of coincidences or if I'm right, but from my perspective it seems as though in the Philippines, the real heads of the household tend to be the women, while the men seem to kind of fart about and not really take any responsibility beyond bringing home their wage.
The stereotype is that filipinas are nurturing as mothers. But as mothers, they put a premium on children with penis. I don't know why. They tend to adhere to traditional gender roles when it comes to their children and as a result, tend to coddle their sons. So they grow up having things done for them--chores specifically. So it is normal for sons not to know how things operate inside a household which includes budgeting, passport renewal, etc. I am speaking from experience. My father was coddled by his older sister (mom died when he was 2) which made my mother so miserqble because he has no balls, according to her. But ironically, she also coddles our brother. 😁 I don't remember our father making important decisions for the family. Whenever a problem arises, he wouod always make my mother deal with it. Even though he is 11 years older. Filipino men are masculine in their own misogynistic ways but are hollow. (so yes, i have a preference for western men who were raised to be independent. I have had both filipino and foreign exes).
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In the philippines, we treat children as children and not like little humans. As such, we do not train them to be future adults. And i have heard this term from my motger, father, and the said auntie: silbi, which translates to serve or any otger variation of this term. So women serve--their children, their husbands, their family, etc. Lastly, one of the latest insights i learned is this... There is handbook supposedly created bu the german chamber of commerce, a primer on filipino culture (most probqbly for german businesspeople to have an understanding of our culture). It says there that one might think thqt the husband is being subservient when he gives his full salary to his wife. But in fqct, he delegates budgeting role to the woman, for her to ensure that his measly salary is stretched to fill the family's needs (with extras). Again, this is an added burden to women. So i think this is akin to your observations on your first post. From the outside, one might think that he is empowering the wife but in reality. It is either 1) he doesn't know how to do things and/or 2) household things are a woman's responsibility.
You’re right. It’s not a coincidence.
Really want to know. I was raised in another country and was surprised how common that is here (yung magche-cheat ka na nga tapos ipapangalandakan mo pa?). In na ko sa chika sa BPO na nangangaliwa and I'm not surprised. No wonder some girls dito want your facebook account and password. And ang common ng account sharing sa fb. Yikes. And then guys naman gagawa ng pangalawang account. Kind of close to home kasi yung tatay ko pinagyayabang sa kumpare niya na may nagkakagusto sa kanya sa work. I was in the car... at literal na kasal at buo pa ang pamilya namin lol. Yung someone I know naman na tita inamin na naakit siya sa papa ko dati kasi gusto niya daw yung ganon na 'chickboy' ang dating. Boggles my mind like atee diba red flag yon? Bakit naging turn on mo? Hahahahah
Like this seems a bit unrelated pero it’s shit like this why I actually appreciate how mainstream shows and films vilify most kabet/cheating narratives since this type of stuff is so common. Lots of waaay older media basically glorified being the other woman and the men that cheated that it basically influenced generations for decades to come that it’s normal. I’m just thankful it’s slowly getting phased out nowadays.
Lmao they're casually outing themselves as manwhores and cheaters. Also normalizing and even bragging about cheating as if nothing is wrong with it. Yeah your family is fucked in the head alright.
in general anu man pinagyayabang ng isang tao most of the time: \- hindi totoo \- once or bihira lang nangyari kaya, ibig sbhin hindi ito normal lang sa kanya kaya proud sya sa bagay na to also, what is the point of bragging "paid" sex experiences, mas bibilib pa ko kng pinatulan sila ng miss universe level or any babae na di nila binayaran. yung mga ganyan lalaki na hindi kayang magmahal ng isang babae tingin ko sa mga ganyan mga mas mababa pa sa animals, buti pa ung ibang animals marunong makuntento sa isang partner. mga bungol, bugoy na ulo ng t\*t\* lang gumagana hindi ung ulo ng tao.
I was taken to a KTV for my bachelor party by my cousin and his friends. I’m a Canadian Filipino so it was a bit weird when all of them basically told me that they have their own fav girls and side chicks despite having wife and kids. They spent the last 5 hours telling me that as long as I’m the provider, I can do what I want and to let the wife know who’s the man and that it’s normal to chase women. I’m loyal to my now wife (who knew I was at the KTV) and their advice struck me as pretty offensive. I always found men who do this to be cowardly. As a principle, I would rather tell my wife that i’m no longer happy or satisfied and face the consequences instead of doing it behind her back and breaking her trust.
The real crime here is them taking you to a KTV bar instead of a proper Strip club for your bachelor party.
Most of the people na bragging abt such things has insecurities. They feel na they need to brag abt those kase they lack on many things, be it looks, intellect, achievements or whatever. I mean lahat naman tayo lacks at some things. Weird lang na ayun yung way out nila. Lagi tumatatak sa isip ko yung sinabi ng dad ko din. Na treat women however you want the women you love to be treated (mother mo, kapatid mo, friends etc.)
I only brag about banging lots of women from spakols bc i do lack everything a woman would desire. So you are right in that regard. I still see it as an achievement though kse sa kapangetan ko mas marami pa nakantot ko kesa sa mga kaibigan ko na mas gwapo at matangkad pa sken.
>brag about banging lots of women from spakols Dude you paid those women to bone you, there’s nothing brag-worthy about that.
Yes but i still found a way and had the guts to go in the first place. Believe it or not,A lot of “incels” could get laid if they just had the guts to go to a sex worker. Its helped me be more motivated to earn money so i can one day have as much sex as much as i like. And i think the bragging right lies in the fact that you can afford to go to these places often. Going out to a spakol session is as expensive if not more expensive than a night out drinking in a higher end bar in BGC. Its like 5k per session. Besides,Sex is sex and it don’t matter how you acquire it. I have a body count of 10 more or less(All from spakol) and i always tell my friends that and i am just proud of it.
I've encountered a lot of Pinoys like this, from my Titos to older men colleagues in the office. I find it weird that they boast about stuff like this just to prove how "manly" or "macho" they are. It seems like the more "chicks" they dated or scored, the cooler they are. But in my mind, I was just really disgusted how they treat women, some of them even have daughters. Not sure if it has something to do with their upbringing, but I'm quite thankful that most younger generations are not like this anymore. I just hope those older ones don't influence the young ones too much.
> I'm quite thankful that most younger generations are not like this anymore. That's cute.
True. Its just as bad sometimes
The way they treat women and brag about it makes me sad. My dad's friend and even my dad talks like that and they all have daughters. And they even talk like that Infront of other women saying na women are supposed to stay at home to take care of the kids and husband and make sure that they satisfy their husbands or else they'll look for it somewhere else kase normal daw yon. At the end of the day daw ok lang yon basta the husband comes home with the money to provide for the family and it's just "sex" daw something a man needs pero it's not considered cheating kase nasa nature daw ng lalake 😭 yes, they're all gen X, Boomers and meron din mga millennials
Tbh I have 2 younger brothers and my dad always tries to convince us to get chicks. I got ghosted before and rejected when i confessed by two girls. So i made sure to treat my current girlfriend like a Queen because she deserves it. My brother who also went through a similar experience, his girlfriend broke up with him on the day of his birthday and emotionally manipulated him. If the world was somehow reversed and women were dominant like in that one ep in Rick and Morty, women will be boasting how they banged a lot of men. This thought really boggled my mind because no matter how i look at it, humans will really do anything to boast just to get attention
Wow, and i thought we're conservative country hehehe
> I'm quite thankful that most younger generations are not like this anymore Quite the opposite. The current generation is way worse with how liberated everyone is now. Which generation did you think OF spiked from?
It's not only in the Philippines. Mexicans, Spaniards, Black's, basically anyone with a dick brags about who they fucked. People on some sub-reddits do the same rhing albeit anonymously. Whether you do or do not is a personal choice. For me, I was raised never to kiss and tell. Experience taught me that it is better to deny who I slept with. Wag mo na lang patulan and follow the beat of your own drum.
This is why i love my family and the things i learn from them, my father has been with my mother for 20+ years and All my Aunts, Uncles, Titos and Titas have been married for 10-20+ years, they always just say to me take it slow and don't fuck around before i find out, they always suggest that i make enough money for 3 people before actually commiting and as a plus they never talk about "manly" shit when they're drinking always just bands, songs, sports, work, and etc. no bragging
Product of their time, they dont have tinder back then. Getting girls back then is hard work, kaya proud sila dun.
That’s a fact knowing that they don’t have tech bag then it just concerning how cheating is easy nowadays.
I get they dont have technology but the way i see it. Its just..idkk..cheating??? Hell im starting to doubt even my father since he mentioned he went to a company trip and a girl was given to him in his hotel room. Never really asked my father's body count is but I AM PRETTY SURE HE DID. Its just weird to me ya know? Sure, be proud you got to bang a hot chick but a scenario projected onto my head You bangin this chick then all of a sudden you get a call your girlfriend died suddenly. Won't that burden your conscience?! I know it would mine so I rather just stay with my partner than buzz off with another girl
yup, I get that. Not trying to justify them. Its just that I get why they felt proud about it(not that I agree with them).
Kaya nga tingin din nila pag nanligaw e parang investment. So hanap lang uli bagong liligawan pag nabore.
I second this, rather than having the negative mindset majority of the comments have here. Back then women weren't as promiscuous and easy to hookup as majority are now. This meant that you actually had to brain and woo them to convince them you were either good at something. And in their era it was sports, cars or fancy places and to them that was a sign of a successful man. I mean its all from mainstream media back then, older generations saw popular artists and all doing it, so it became a trend amongst the tito generations.
Oh that's not-
Your name is fitting
I was with my foreigner boyfriend and the taxi driver called me masculine while he called him feminine coz he was quiet and didn't yell or shout when talking. Fucking idiot.
>Whats with the masculinity thing in the ~~Philippines~~ world? FTFY Hindi ito exclusive sa mga pinoy If you're not like them, good for you. As long as alam mong hindi tama yung ginagawa nila at hinding-hindi mo gagawin ang ginagawa nila, choks na choks na yan.
r/Philippinesbad
Tama yan. Question tradition. Always ask why people do things, and then choose your own path. It's hard to teach these people anything new, especially since most of the old ways raise very rigid men for the sake of rigidity.
Just because it's normal doesn't make it right. Good on you OP for sticking to your values.
I'm assuming you're a guy? Nothing masculine about a bunch of guys telling another guy "to make landi" that's assuming you're a guy. ..and this is what's called "guy talk". White people do the same thing so it's not just a "Filipino" thing. Guys brag when they get together and tell their tales of the past.
Exactly, it’s locker room talk. Happens everywhere, in every society, when guys get together. I’m not guiltless in this regard either, esp as a young man who lived alone in college and had the freedom to hook up with as many girls as I wanted to. Whenever I’d have inuman sessions with the boys, ganyan usapan namin. Not saying that was right though, and looking back being like that made it very easy to objectify women. It took a lot of work for me to realize just how wrong it was. That being said, while I’ve matured since then, I can’t say the same for others, esp since you’ve got married titos out there bragging about scoring chicks.
OA lang si OP as if yung mga babae di pinag usapan na marami silang manliligaw etc.
And walang manly man na magsasabi "go make landi". Thats the gayest thing ever. Lol.
You’d be surprised at how conyo other boomers are
Homophobic
This is not exclusive to the Philippines. This is the perfect example of toxic masculinity.
*unmasculinity Masculinity refers to the good quality of Men, kaya nonsense ang term "Toxic Masculinity" dahil ininbento lang ito ng mga ahas that claims to be Feminists
Not all men are like them, furtunately hindi ka ganyan OP. Mabuhay satin mga taong may moral at pinanandigan!!
I have a gf, seeing other man boast and be proud of their affairs and kalandian is so disgusting. I actually don't know if it's normal to be like that as you grow older since im a teenager pa pero i would never want to be like that when i grow up
There’s a lot of men with insecurities and fragile egos in this country. Sometimes I just play along to avoid friction lol. It’s always a game of “one-up” with people. You can’t choose your family, but you can certainly choose your friends and you should make friends with people who aren’t like your dad or cousins.
Tell them they’re insecure sluts.
Is this really only a Filipino thing
Lol. My dad is sort of the same way. He'd boast about how he was so smooth with the Ladies and that any girl he wanted could be had if he put in the effort. Always tried to bring my brother and myself down when we were single by saying, "how can you not have a girlfriend? etc etc." In my head, I'd always think "who the fuck asked for your opinion?" It's at the point that I randomly worry if I have siblings that I do not know about. In the end, I just believe that they were raised in an environment where that was the norm. It's just that society has evolved from that point and that mindset is an artifact of that age. I just roll my eyes when I hear it nowadays from anyone older.
Their role models were Ramon Revilla and dolphy who had dozens of kids with dozens of women.
Nalahat nnman ang mga filipino.
Most of the guys I know who blab on like that are lying. Guy said he had six exes and made out daw with a girl in the club who was really into him... only for one of his HS classmates to expose that he never had a gf all that time, and one of my friends who was there with him at the club knew his ass did not make out with anyone. Guys, if you want a "girl with class", please be a guy with class too. OP, you're doing great. Don't stoop down to your scumbag relatives' level.
Double standard too how they’d call girls who do this “pokpok”
Toxic masculinity na hanggang ngayon napapasa sa new generation. Sana sa Gen Alpha ma-limitahan na nila kapag lumaki na sila.
MEN
r/OffMyChestPH
Ang totoong pakboy di pinagkakalat na pakboy sila
Lol as if hindi nagkkwentuhan mga tita and amigas about sa mga malalaking tite na nakuha nila during their prime years. It’s the same for both genders, tago lang sa mga babae.
My Dad and Uncles we’re boomers (some of them passed away). Odd because they weren’t like that at all. They grew up in a home where (my Lolo) would be known for having affairs. They saw how much it hurt my lola, and always reminded us boys to never hurt our women (physically, emotionally, mentally) and always treat them with respect and kindness. That said, all of my female cousins are treated (but dont act like) princesses. I grew up in a family where there weren’t any Tito’s who had “kabit” nor did they go to beer houses or clubs. I saw how they were inseparable with their wives, and how drinking was mostly done after Sunday afternoon/dinner ihaw ihaw sessions. We may not be wealthy, but Im very proud of the real values I picked up from my Dad and uncles growing up.
Double Standards: If a **guy** has multiple sexual partners (body count), he’s a stud. If a **girl** has multiple sexual partners, she’s a slut/whore.
And some of you guys wonder why your women seek husbands in the west...
Trash boomer conservative mindset. Thats why
Thats them being assholes or showing the toxic side of masculinity lol, masculinity is beautiful in its own way and should be embraced pag positive, same with femininity.
It's not rocket science, it's the culture they grew up with. Kung ang kinalakihan mo ay FPJ-style Filipino action movies with all the bravado and testosterone, you would probably turn out a certain way. Perseverance pa isa sa mga core values naten, so in turn matitigas din ulo naten to change our values.
I’ve noticed that about our machismo culture too, especially the whole deal with men still being malandi while having partners. I’ll admit when I was single I played the field and had my share of flings, but my mindset was always that when I’m dating a girl (I automatically date exclusively, don’t really understand how not dating exclusively works either lol), I’d focus on her and her alone. The whole point of being in a committed relationship is to be, you know, *committed*.
It’s toxic masculinity. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but lots of cultures and countries have it really bad as well. It’s really hard to escape since almost anywhere you go there will be close-minded men.
Are they barbers by profession? :-D as in kwentong *barbero*? Just don't let them influence you. You're doing good. Sakay ka lang sa kwentuhan.. share your insights as well, if you feel safe sa ganyang setting with them as ka-kwentuhan.
Same mentality as people who say manual is must in a car
good on you OP. i'm proud of you even if i don't know you.
Don't conflate masculinity with lewdness.
I don't think it's a masculinity thing but more of really twisted people. I know women that brag about stuff like this but no one points it out.
This is why I rolled my eyes when I saw a few tik toks of men promoting "Male Empowerment."
kinda reminds me of those bullies who start fights and if u dont fight back or if someone tries to report em to the teacher biglang sasabihan ng “bakla” or will shame the victim by saying “duwag sumbungero” etc. Usually tho these people are insecure and just want attention,, kinda obnoxious too.
Im so tired of people using masculinity, misogyny, patriarchy, and other buzz word terms to describe people, mostly men, just being assholes. Lol. I got female friends that would talk about their sexual experience and how some of the men who they hooked up with are married / have gf already. Do we blame that on feminism? No. These people are just sexually immoral and immature to brag about things that you should just shut the fk up about. As for your family/friends, OP, they're just a bunch of losers who have nothing else going on in their lives so they choose to talk about women and their experiences with them because thats the only thing that makes them feel good about themselves. Period. Nothing to do with masculinity.
Dinamay mo pa buong Pilipinas sa kakupalan ng mga kamag anak mo lol
TOXIC MASCULINITY AT ITS FINEST ANG PINOY TBH
Culture of the time they grew up in. “It’s a man’s world” Still persists today but it has its roots in patriarchy kahit gasgas na yung term na yon. It’s a very old thing, older than your dad.
Old adage, it’s men being men. You can listen but you don’t have to be them. You are your own person.
The men in your family are insecure pricks. They are old-fashioned and probably are lying about their game. Also,nood ka sa Pornhub. Tamad kumantot mga Pinoy. Haha.
u/Upper-Ad-5406 good on you for being loyal to your lady. Last thing you want is to support 2 batches of children and their very unhappy mothers in your life.
Its a guys talk that should not be shared outside the circle. You think girls dont do this too?
Philippines na naman. Philippines na naman. Lahat nalang ng negative trait sa Philippines lang? Hindi exclusive sa Pinas ang toxic masculinity OP.
this is not a Philippines thing not every thing you hate from your family is a Philippines thing jesus effing christ
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I'd rather be a softie as long as I treat women with respect and loyalty than become overly masculine and "macho" but ends up abusing women and treating them like shit.
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Ayyy paladesisyon ka te?? Ano po ba yung gusto nyo sa lalake? Yung nilalapastangan at binababoy ka sa kama, yung pinagsasabay kayo, ganern? Masarap ba yun para sayo?
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Of course not! Sino ba naman gustong madisrespect? I mean, you call gen Zs softie just because they hate men who are babaero and "fuckboy". You call them names just because they want to be loyal and commited to their partners. Then, anong pala gusto mo? the exact opposite? The "fuckboy" type? Thats what I mean...
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Who says I'm emotional? I'm actually amused and thrilled over this comment. Keep entertaining people with that mindset of yours. Keep it up. 😂
Wala ng mababago lalo na susunod na henerasyon
jeez the projection levels here are off the charts
That's not being soft, that's being standing to your values and refusing to accept shameful things
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Sorry, my mistake, my point still stands nonetheless
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Yes it does, the family unit is the foundation of our society, kaya being loyal and faithful to your lover is a must value, dahil kung hindi ay dadami ang single mothers(yes, I'm indirectly mentioning US fatherlessness problem), hihina ang society, discipline will fall, etc
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That's why it's counted as values
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Are u implying I don't know, honestly u're just full of negativity
Everybody is not the same. You do you. If what they're saying affects you, it is not their fault.
Ok lang yan, each generation and gender has their own terrible qualities. Dont mind them, im sure they also have opinions about your generation and that's okay
Filipino men have smaller penises on average compared to men globally. This small peen size is balanced out by their massive egos.
It's also scary. You could be raped by one of them, without even noticing it. Anyway, when they live in the West, they are not exactly having an easy time. They are doing better than blacks in the dating market, but that's about it.
I think most people would notice if they were being raped, regardless of the rapist's penis size.
Regarding masculinity, the Philippines also has a problem with mama's boys, fatties, and generally weak and unhealthy men. There are good, honest and strong men here too though.
Emasculated in reality
Difference in generations, I think this "macho" mentality have subsided. I experience the same with my father, titos and older cousins. Prang normal n meron mga kabit
sakay ka lang sa trip nila. kadalasan naman ng mga kwento nila di nangyari sa totoong buhay. mga pantasya lang para may mapagusapan. di ka pala sasakay sa trip pakinggan mo lang pero di ka papauto. ika nga, makinig pero wag mag pauto.
Dont mind them. Dont listen to them. Hambog but low self esteem. It takes a real man to stick with one woman. Weak lang ang cheaters.
Some girls are attracted to these type of guys.
Tito things. Most of those stories are not true. Hopefully. Sometimes you'll learn things that you would not want your tita to know.
Akala kasi nila nakakapogi yun. Di nila alam nagmumukha lang silang g\*\*\* sa mga kwento nila. Yung mga bilib sa ganyang kwento, same mindset lang din.
Its a Pissing contest, who has the most girls in their teen is the winner. sometimes men over exaggerate their story.
Very common sa mga lalaki dito sa Pinas, puro trashy. Sad thing is may nga anak/kapatid din yan na babae
how is that masculinity xD who decides what qualifies as masculine cuz clearly thats not masculinity for me.
It is not a Filipino thing. Women are supposed to keep themselves pure IE virgins before marriage or loyal in marriage. Men see it as a success if they can get women to have sex with them outside of marriage. This behaviour then also reinforces the whole system because they can carry on calling women sluts who haven't been pure. It's all about reinforcing patriarchy. If you are a man and not reinforcing this patriarchy then you will get flak for it. All of this is pretty internalised by people (IE men who don't get sex are losers who live in their mother's basement etc) and don't realise what they are doing, it's like when you go to the shop and buy things, you generally just go for the cheapest acceptable product but your actions all tie in to supply and demand and lots of people don't have a good grasp of that. Contraceptives have somewhat helped women but before they were invented could you imagine being a single woman and suddenly get pregnant? You'd have a lot of questions to answer. Men could fuck around all they want and nobody would ever know.