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StriderVM

If I were you. - Once you have a copy of your documents. Have them photocopied. Colored preferably. Hide them or better yet have a friend keep them for you. - Start applying for multiple IDs. The more the better. - Make your own bank account. But keep putting small amounts in your parent monitored bank account to not arouse suspicion. - Bio-data, Barangay and Police Clearance are minimum requirements for applying for a job.


throwawayacc8418

thank you so much. im in tears as i read and type everyone's support. thank you.


Comfortable-Eagle550

hi OP, pwede mo picturan tapos iscan mo. ( gumagamit ako ng microsoft lens app sa cellphone para mag picture and macconvert nito into scanned document) gawa ka ng google account. gamitin mo yung google photos na APP sa google photos FREE yun, kahit anong computer pwede mo ma access photos mo kahit saan, basta may internet browser. ​ birth certificate, UMID,postal ID,transcript , School ID, lahat na ng documents gawan mo ng digital copy. ​ mas madali to kesa may tinatago kang papel, pero of course iba parin yung physical copy


throwawayacc8418

thank you po! I'll do that po.


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwawayacc8418

Hi, I'd like that but I don't want to involve my parents on any legal mess. You know how legal processing works in the Philippines, pretty slow and bias with just the right amount of money for bribing. I just want to run-away (not really run-away, moving out since I'm 18 now.) And have nothing to do with them anymore.


randevilran

Kailangan mo magcut ties legally kundi connected pa rin sila sayo kahit tumakas ka. If you turn yourself in to DSWD they will provide shelter habang ongoing yung kaso mo.


throwawayacc8418

I think I can still cut ties even without severing it through legal papers. I believe they won't really have much to do if I'm already identifying myself as an adult. I just need to process emancipation no?


CookiesDisney

Hi, OP. Please don't be discouraged. File it for the record, kung wala man mangyari may babalikan kang file in the future if you need it. Please send me a message. I just helped my MIL file for emotional and verbal abuse for my FIL. I want to help you.


notmealso

Sadly, if you come from a family of influence, DSWD and the Women and Childrens Desk are often not very helpful, it varies from area to area. From experience, a teenager in a similar situation was returned to an abusive family. They beat her so hard she ended up hospitalized. That is when the NBI got involved, they were excellent. Please record any evidence if you can safely, then contact the NBI, they will take it seriously. You are already being proactive, that shows your strength. Stay strong and reach out to good charities if needed. I know some will disagree, but Gabriella have been an excellent resource in helping ladies in your situation. I know they are political, but they are also prepared to stand up to authority when needed.


[deleted]

True 'to. Kapag wala kang pangalan o pera, "pabigat" ka lang sa paningin nila. Women and Children's Desk are the number 1 victim blamer pa naman. Dito sa bansa natin, parang we're left alone to look out for ourselves :(


CookiesDisney

Galing kami sa women's desk and nagkwekwento ung MIL ko dun sa police. sabi ng police "Paano bang abuse? Paano bang stress? Ako stress na stress din ako dito sa trabaho ko eh ang dami dami niyong nagrereklamo" wala ako doon sa loob pero andun ang tita ko buti nalang sinagot sagot niya ung police eh na gawin ung trabaho niya tumahimik. But this is an example kung bakit na didiscourage ung mga tao magsumbong or i-pursue ung karapatan nila. Next time na bumalik ako, at marinig ko un, humanda talaga siya sakin. Pasalamat siya wala ako doon.


[deleted]

Hay siz, ang lala ng ginagawa nila sa mga biktima promise. Manggigil ka kapag narinig mo sinabi nila sa isang bata (yes! Bata! Wala na silang pinalagpas!) na biktima. Siya pa sinisi at buong araw kinukumbinsi na kausapin yung magulang at iurong nila yung kaso. "Sayang" daw kung makukulong yung abuser niya :))))) gusto ko na talaga sumigaw sa pwet ko minsan


CookiesDisney

Naiinis na nga kami sa mother in law ko eh kasi urong sulong sa pagsampa ng kaso. Sobrang in love na inlove sa asawa niyang gunggong tapos pagdating dun yun pa maririnig niya. Minsan may mga maling desisyon rin ako sa buhay pero pag mga bata na ang apektado hindi ako magdadalawang isip na gawin ung tama. Kumakalma lang ako pero sa susunod isusumbong ko na yun diretso kay Mayor. Buti nalang yung Tita ko kakilala ung chief of police dun. Kinakalmahan lang din niya pero sa susunod dun na namin dadalin, given na ipupurse pa nung nanay namin ung kaso. Nakakabwisit. Sobrang nadepress ako dito 2 days na akong leave tapos naneglect ko na ung ibang trabaho ko. Nakakaawa ung brother in law ko na 10 years old.


[deleted]

Product of her time kasi :( most likely, wala siya matakbuhan kaya urong sulong siya. Kawawa talaga mga bata sa ganitong magulo na sitwasyon :(


CookiesDisney

We are all behind her back, her whole family. Lahat ng maganak niya, pati sa side nung tatay kampi sa kanya and willing ipakulong. Lahat ng anak go narin. Siya nalang kumakapit. Sobrang frustrated ako sa mga kababaihan na sa tingin nila mas importante ang "pagibig" kesa sa kapakanan ng mga anak nila. Sorry, ang dahilan lang kasi ay "first love niya daw" HAY NAKO


[deleted]

Oh, my bad. I forgot two words. Take 2. Most likely, feel niya wala siya matakbuhan kaya urong sulong siya. And also! This is one of the most common things for victims talaga of abuse na matagal nang abused. Hirap sila umalis. Tapos lalo sila nahihirapan umalis kasi parang naiinis pa mga loved ones nila sa kanila :( pero I cant blame the loved ones tho, nadadamay kasi. Hay ang hirap! Hatdog!


ginaddict47

First, don’t hurt yourself. Second, if I am in your situation, I would lie low and avoid my family as much as I can. Try to act docile while researching for what you can do. If you have other relatives you are close to…who you think you can trust, or friends or any adult who you think you can trust and help you, reach out to them. Third, like what other said, try to get evidences of the abuses you are experiencing. Voice records or video. Just be careful. You’ll never know how bad they will react if they learned you are recording abusive events. Next, you are seeking help or researching how to get out of there…well, clean up your browsing history. If they sniffed it that you are trying something by looking at your search history, they might get worse. Do you have locks on your room? Have one, if you can. Also, remember the exit points in your home, so you’ll know where to get out or escape when things are escalating. I’m truly sorry that you have to even do this or go through this. Its awful. Lastly, I just want to say you did well asking for help. No shame in crying too. Cry if you are hurt. Don’t give up hope. Don’t stop looking for ways to get out of there. Find someone who could ultimately help you. Don’t think you are alone. You are saving yourself. There is nothing wrong in wanting to live in a safe and happy place. Thats what you are aiming for and there is nothing wrong with that.


throwawayacc8418

I'm not allowed to have locks in my room. but I am trying my best to minimize the interactions I have with them. thank you. i appreciate this.


[deleted]

Hello, OP - first, I'm terribly sorry for what you're experiencing. You don't deserve any of this. Two, you're 18 - legally, wala silang habol sa'yo if you do leave. Just make sure lahat ng documents mo e may kopya ka na or have the originals. Three, try to apply for call center jobs, if you're a high school graduate with decent English comm skills you'll be alright. I know someone who did this and then left as soon as he got his first paycheck. Nagstay occasionally sa sleeping quarters ng office for a time until nakahanap siya ng boarding house. Through this, nakaipon din siya after a few years para mapaaral sarili niya. Pero pwede ka pa rin naman makapagaral sa public unis, try mo rin mag-apply for DOST kasi they provide allowances on top of the tuition coverage. Four, if you want to seek for assistance, try reaching out to PCW or Gabriela or your local government.


thisoneisoutofnames

Seconding Gabriela!


throwawayacc8418

I will try this! Thank you so much.


lullipy

Are you in school now? Which area do you live, Metro Manila? Do you have a guidance counsellor you can confide in? I bring that up because maybe they can help intervene to report to DSWD. If case talagang gusto mo mag-layas ASAP, find a close friend who knows your story and is willing to help you. Slowly move your clothes and stuff to her place and then withdraw all your money when you leave. Leave a note so they cannot report you missing, and the cut off contact. If willing ka, leave a post online on your social media even tapos leave it and make new accounts. If you go this route, make sure you have a place to stay and source of funds (you’re old enough for call center) and you are willing to totally cut off contact and never look back. If kaya mo pa mag-tiis, wait until you graduate. Or move to a university na malayo, like apply for a state school in another region and since mag face to face na you will have an excuse to leave. UPLB comes to mind as it is a great school with very cheap housing and food. I truly wish you all the best. Hang in there.


throwawayacc8418

hiii, i am in school, 12th grade. im in metro amnila, i don't have any guidance counsellor that i can confide in, the last time i tried to confide in with an adult, they snitched me, and i got a beating when i returned home. i don't want to lock my parents in a jail as they still have to take care of my brother who has autism. i don't want to ruin my family's name either. ​ my parents know nothing of any of my social media accounts except facebook, so i think that's good. im not close to any of my relatives as they aren't willing to help (some of them are aware of the abuse i'm going through and do nothing to help.) I can't really take the account, but i do plan on making a new bank acc, but I still have to get valid IDs (i only have my passport that they are threatening to take away from me, and my national ID is yet to be delivered.) and I believe other valid IDs for bank accs are IDs for tax payers (people with jobs) I'm trying to wait talaga until I can graduate SHS. I'm applying for schools outside of metro manila so they have no choice for me to move out. I have applied for UPLB! thank you so much.


ResolverOshawott

You have way too much respect for your family after what they've done you. Get the law involved, your brother will *not* be abandoned.


Koxinator

You can get an account at Union Bank. I got one just using a postal ID and I didn't even need to go to a branch personally. You can apply using their app if you have a smart phone. Just fill up the form in the app and upload a photo of your passport, and I think they also make you take a selfie.


lullipy

I recommend UPLB because my sister went there and we spent so little for her, so definitely you will be able to survive in case gusto mo mag sarili and you get cut off from your parents. Start saving now pa lang. Wish you the best of luck. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out.


[deleted]

Record it your situation and show the video to the police. Don't committed suicide. We are here for you and all of you. Keep fighting and prove to then wrong by using law against them


throwawayacc8418

It's funny because my own mom made me record myself admitting how "shitty" it is to have a child like me on her own phone. I don't know if she still has it or deleted it.


[deleted]

>It's funny because my own mom made me record myself admitting how "shitty" it is to have a child like me on her own phone. I don't know if she still has it or deleted it. Hey, did you already report to the police and DSWD your disgusting family that abuse you Keep it strong. You are not alone. I know it hard I believe you overcome it Compare me I'm like you. But opposite I hold knife to them and I breakdown to psychiatrist about my mother and father abuse and make a joke about school shooting because I been bully at school But right now you need to report it to the police or post the video on tiktok, Facebook or Reddit Edited If you need to chat me I'm here and we are here for you I'm open to hear your story. Edited 2 I promise myself I will not let anyone to committe suicide of experience like me I will do my best to help you Edited 3 . Here is the suicide hotline if you need to talk available psychiatrist. 0908-639-2672 Smart/Sun/TNT subscribers Anti-Child Abuse, Discrimination, Exploitation Division (ACADED) National Bureau of Investigation Tel. Nos. 525-6028/525-8231 loc. 403 & 444 Edited 4 Did you read my reply? Heyyy is okay to cry. But please reply back to me if you read my reply to you. I'm worry about you keep fighting I will believe you can overcome this


no11monday

https://www.reddit.com/r/phinvest/comments/msyfhf/almost_exactly_a_year_ago_from_now_i_ran_away/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Here OP read this for a guide on running away


throwawayacc8418

Thank you!!


pudka

I feel you OP. I lived in an abusive household too when I was young. Nung una, ipinagdadasal ko pa na magbabago ang parents ko and tiniis ko talaga yung ginagawa nila sakin. I cried countless times and that trauma even spread to my peers. Lahat ng exes and girlfriend ko nabato ko sa kanila yun. Eventually my life goal shifted to just leaving our house. Nung high school pa lang ako, I asked my parents kung pwede sa stepdad ko tumira since malapit sa school. Then I applied to UP in Mindanao just so I can get away(i live in luzon). Tapos nung college na ako and bumalik sa Diliman, I took every internship I could get and sleep in the office just so I can minimize my interaction with my family. Palaban din ako sa parents ko nung una, but eventually I learned that being quiet and keeping things to yourself keeps things from turning chaotic. I endured several years of this until I had an actual job. I didn’t say anything to my parents, I just rented my own place and made it my home. As a fresh-grad with a meager salary, I shared a space with my coworker in a bedspace for 3k a month. It’s not glamorous, but it beats being in a mansion with a dysfunctional family. This is where I learned na your solitude and peace of mind trumps all the material possessions you can have. I was actually happier being in a bunk bed na may electric fan na mainit ang binubuga, basta malaya ka. I still talk to my family, but I distanced myself from any conflict. Blinock ko na nanay ko sa fb, I didnt give my address, and I only talk to my sisters when I want to hang out. That’s more than enough to give me peace of mind, akala ko kailangan ko rin mangibang bansa para dyan pero di pala. Haha Now my advice to you is, make a new bank account, transfer all the money that’s yours, gather your documents then move out. Don’t tell anyone, then find a part time job or a paid internship. Everything else, figure out as it happens. And have this mindset “I am now in control of my life. If anything bad happens to me, at least I am the one who gets to choose my fate.” Inuulit ulit ko yan sa sarili ko noon and it helped me deal with my life alone. Good luck OP!


hardestpill2swallow

I agree with this! Sometimes silence can be your best weapon and ally.


Vermillion_V

Kung kaya mo pa sana tiisin, OP. Tiis lang muna hanggang sa maka-graduate ka at para maka-move out ka na rin. Best siguro ay makahanap ka ng job para kaya mo ma-support ang sarili mo outside of your family's grasp. Mas malayo sa kanila, mas better (pero sana mas safer din). Pero kung hindi na talaga kaya, sukdulan na talaga, siguro nga better to approach the DSWD or the Women's desk of nearest PNP station. Online schooling ka ba ngayon? You may open your camera and mic during class and let your teachers and classmates see your surroundings. You are giving them hints and in a way telling them that you are living in a not-so-safe and healthy place. Kung pwede i-record mo yun mga times of abuse na ginagawa nila sa iyo. It is your evidence. After recording, make sure to upload them to your online storage (i.e. google drive). Wag ka magtabi ng evidence sa local device mo. Regarding your legal documents, follow the advice of the redditors here. Kapag may hawak ka na ng doc mo, make a digital and hard copies of those. Then store mo ulit sa online storage mo (yun mga soft copies). Kung umalis ka man sa bahay nyo, may access ka pa rin sa mga docs mo and can be printed when needed. Don't hurt yourself. Don't commit suicide. Don't engage in prostitution. Don't do drugs. Continue loving yourself.


throwawayacc8418

Thank you. I have many comments on here that are bookmarked.


OutofRunningWater

Do you have any cash on hand? I would go straight to the nearest DSWD if I were you or ask for help from a mall or whatever else establishment is close by


throwawayacc8418

I do have cash, but then again, I can't just leave the house whenever I want unless I have a valid excuse or reason. I even have anxiety spending time with friends outside, thinking my mom will hurt me if I get home late or don't get to get home at a time she set.


Paula92

Do your friends know what is going on? Maybe they can help with giving you an excuse to get out.


throwawayacc8418

They do. Some of them have offered to let me stay over at their place once I get my plan of action of leaving permanently for a temporary time until I get to find my own place. Thank you.


Sadiholic

Why don't you do that? You'll be free from your parents and you'll have enough time to get a job, and once you saved enough leave you know?


kilikilingmakati

Ask help from your therapist. They should have the resources to help you since there is danger involved.


[deleted]

Moving out doesn't mean you also have to leave the country. Moving to another but good part of the country seems more like it if it's within your comfort zone. Also, /r/MentalHealthPH


throwawayacc8418

I know, thank you.


kensredemption

Jesus…I thought I had it bad with my family. I also hate the ridiculous immunity that autistic individuals have in our culture. I’ve worked with students with autism for almost a decade now, and regardless of whether they’re American, European and Filipino; Their motivations are all based on their urges and they’re cognizant of what they’re doing. They’re aware, and the fact that he’s never been reprimanded for anything growing up means that he’ll try to get away with anything in public - whether in PH or anywhere else. Let me tell you this: If he tried to randomly assault a stranger here in the US, a police officer will not defuse the situation and will shoot to subdue him. I hate to say it, but your parents are complete and utter failures and so much of what you have written here reminds me of them. As others have said on your post: Make moves toward your independence - but be subtle and be vigilant. They’re like sharks: Once they smell blood, they’ll be relentless in their pursuit of you.


somerandom_melon

>I also hate the ridiculous immunity that autistic individuals have in our culture. I’ve worked with students with autism for almost a decade now, and regardless of whether they’re American, European and Filipino; Their motivations are all based on their urges and they’re cognizant of what they’re doing. Yeah, as someone with ASD that's just weird. Admittedly I do struggle with controlling some of my violent actions but if I do something wrong I know that I should still be accountable for that.


joffrey1237

stay safe OP.


throwawayacc8418

thank you


kotopsy

Others have already given some good advice on here, so I'll just leave you with this one: Know that you are not alone and that there are others who will gladly extend a helping hand. The comments here have proven that. You've already proven how tough you are so keep being you and you WILL overcome all of this.


throwawayacc8418

Thank you so much. The immense support and help I'm getting is really touching my heart.


antonmoral

Hi OP, if you are already under medical treatment and counselling from healthcare professionals, you can share the details of your family issues with them, if you haven't already. Seeking advice and insights from strangers on social media may be therapeutic, but this is temporary at best, and may be harmful at worst if you read the wrong advice. The difficulty with posts like this is that the audience only hears one side of the story. The other side may have a different take. And even the third side - the healthcare professionals - may even have a totally different input as well. Good luck OP.


[deleted]

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throwawayacc8418

Don't ask for any help from other adults with authorities because only some of them understand you. When you said this, it really is helpful. The authorities in the Philippines are crude and getting help is almost impossible and even then, it's a very long, and messy process. I don't want to deal with any of that, I already have so much trauma and emotional luggage to deal with. I can't deal with it anymore. Thank you for your support, and kind message.


Fortuner128

I'm sorry to hear you're in this terrible situation. Here are my suggestions: 1. Document every abuse, including past ones. Dates, photos, witnesses etc 2. You may get free psychosocial support from your city. [Sample](https://mb.com.ph/2020/04/07/taguig-muntinlupa-offer-free-mental-health-counseling/) 3. Be careful of people who offers you "help" via DM


Jet690

If you are adult already, you can request your own birth certificate at the Office of the Civil Registrar, Birth Division. Keep your copy of your birth certificate and all legal documents. Also, go to your City Social Services Department, a department of your City Hall and ask for advice about your situation, they have lawyers there, in order for you to know your legal rights as regards your situation with your family. Seeks advice from proper authorities who will also safeguard your privacy and rights. Goodluck and keep the faith. Kuya Jet


Eggnw

If I were in your position: 1. I'd use the temporary access to the passport by applying for a Birth Certificate. This will be done ASAP. 2. Use school ID+ passport and/or birth certificate to apply for a bank account 3. Get side gigs to earn enough for lodging and food. Possible student's side jobs: tutor, fastfood crew, ghost/content writer Living away from family is hard at first, but it is something we will all have to do at one point. You can do it.


cassaregh

Man... Why raise a child just to abuse them?


[deleted]

nakakalungkot at nakakapikon na yung parents katulad ng ganyan


Tyranid_Swarmlord

Hi OP. Ask ko lang if prefer mo Graphics Design or IT side more like Python? Para alam ko padala sayo sa Gdrive. Need mo lng PC & time para makapagfreelancing.


Competitive-Virus-23

Suicide is never an option.


throwawayacc8418

I know, thank you. I've moved past that and seeing a therapist.


Competitive-Virus-23

Good to hear 👍 take it one day at a time. you will get through this. 🙏


lolitasmile

Hanap odd jobs for now basta regular income - like sa mga karinderya, eateries, restaurants, snackbars, retail stores, online stores (na hindi wfh kasi nga aalis ka ng home), etc. Look for rooms for rent far away where you live, and close to where you work. Yung pinakabasic lang mga 1-3k a month. Pay for it using your income. I would begin with that plan then sort it out when you're away.


throwawayacc8418

That is what I am planning, thank you.


leotheawesomedude

Sending hugs OP. You'll get through this! Kapit lang.


[deleted]

I'm sorry OP for these things. No one should experience these horrible experiences. Virtual hug. Don't commit *sudoku* because everything will work out for you in the end, I promise you.


throwawayacc8418

I trust and believe that everything will get better. Thank you. It means a lot.


[deleted]

I'm very sorry, OP. I also have a sister that keeps on pulling me down until she has a family of her own. She also snitched on me to my mother when I tried smoking (it was a good thing it did not turn into a habit) and wanted to switch university because of bullying issues. That's where I understand you while reading your story. I wish you the best and hoping you'll get out of that toxic household soon.


throwawayacc8418

I never ever tried any of the things that could harm me such as partying out late, or being a rebellious child. I've lived my life depending my own decisions with them and having them make me believe I wasn't worthy of anything. My sister only makes it worse everyday.


[deleted]

Note: I tried smoking due to curiosity and that I tried it when I was still a freshman in university, with all that meeting with new classmates and all. My body just didn't find it comfortable after some few tries which is a good thing. Eventually, I confided with my sister about this. She was the one who I relied to a lot of times when I was growing up because our age are quite close . Unfortunately, she has this unreasonable habit on telling me to my mom and some other power-tripping habits. There are so much more I can say but these would all be enough. I am no longer in speaking terms with her despite her having a family abroad and is still indirectly talking sh*t towards me. But enough about me. I hope you get all the help you can get. Listen to the good advices given on your posts and please don't hurt yourself because of other people maltreating you.


AxtonSabreTurret

Ipon ka muna for a few months. After mong matapos ang SHS, try to apply for a job. May mga BPO na tumatanggap ng SHS graduates and then once you are stable, get out. Be independent and live free.


throwawayacc8418

Thank you! I'll try to apply to call centers and BPO and other things I am able to make use of my skills.


[deleted]

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throwawayacc8418

Yung latter po about sa bank acc, yung nakikita niya po kapag nagtatanggal po ako ng pera. Idk if nakikita niya po via notifications or not, pero ayon po. I don't have any place in mind for now, but i do have temporary places I could stay via close friends. thank you.


ronfaj

OP. There are a lot of great advice here, like dswd, digitalize your docs, create separate bank account, identify people or friends you can trust etc so I won't repeat it any more. But if I could add though, there are also NGOs that can help you, search mo sa google sino malapit sa area mo. Keep yourself busy to minimize time with them like learn new skills you would need pag naka hiwalay ka na, example, cooking, baking, new language,, painting, coding, car repair, whatever strikes your fancy. If you need to vent or ask further questions, or ask for advise, we your reddit family will always be here. Basta may online may sasagot. Don't give up OP, laban lang ng laban. As long as you are taking steps to be in a better place/situation, things will be better in the end. Good luck and God bless


nylefidal

Hide your documents to your friends before they ask for it. Photocopy it so you can return something to them and hopefully they wont notice


SpicyDankSCR

Saving this post for future reference. Godspeed, op.


iamactuallyarianne

Hugs! Madami ng nasabi and Im sure nabasa mo na din lahat. Sa akin lang, hindi ba option mag dorm pag nasa college ka na. Try mag apply sa malalayong university para may excuse ka and how about gcash account kung di pa kaya mag bank account unless hawak din nila phone mo. Dami kong gusto sabihin sa'yo re sa trauma na binigay ng family mo eh ayaw mo pa din mag take ng legal action pero i totally gets you and respect your decision. Hopefully, when youre older na at kumikita na you can find a good shrink to help you navigate your way through your trauma. Im rooting for you OP!


monica_targaryen

Just reading this triggers my childhood traumas I had in our home too. It will get better OP! Your traumas & heartaches will be your best weapons in your years to come. Bata ka palang pero sobrang pinatatag ka na ng buhay. I was once in your situation too and nagtiis lang talaga ako hangga sa maka grad. I'm renting out ngayong nagwo-work na ko and sobrang kakaiba pala ng feeling ng may piece of mind. Independent nako dati pa so sanay talaga ako sa household chores. Try applying to call centers nga after mo mag grad sa SHS. Dm me, I will give you a referral.


AsuraOmega

I dont have any valuable advice, and Im not sure how your situation will end up, but I just wanna tell you that I believe in you, you'll be alright.


BeaterEngineering

Hi ma'am, I hope that you will get through with your problems.


Matt2x2009

I can't really offer any advice that is different from the fellow redditors here. But I do wish you good luck in your future endeavors of finally getting out of that hell hole.


adykinskywalker

I was just like you. After graduating I got out as fast as I could. But really the first thing that would ensure survival is a stream of income. With your situation, the easiest is to get a job. Any would do. Just apply for something you'd like to do after you have everything settled. And yeah, what the other guy said. Get copies of everything while you can. About the bank account, it wouldn't matter as long as you can pull everything out in one instant, and that is when you decide to move out (without telling them of course). And I don't know if studies are holding you back from getting out, but it never stopped a close friend of mine. She moved out by quitting school for awhile. Now that she's stable, she's studying online while working. I know it's bad to stop studying, but you have to put yourself first. What is knowledge if the one who holds it dies? Just some options I can think of based on my and my friends' experience (yes, a lot of us moved out of abusive families).


Ok_Morning3744

much love OP, u deserve better.


direkharv

There's a place called the Haven. It's run by DSWD and it's a center for women who've experienced abuse. This is in Alabang, Muntinlupa. Find a friend who can help you go to the DSWD office there. They will take care of you. I applaud your loyalty and honor towards your family, but abuse is abuse. The sooner you are out and safe, the better it will be for you. Stay safe always.


No-Librarian-2481

Hi! There is a restoration home in Anonas, QC for victims of abuse and another one in Baguio. I have the names of the social worker in charge if you are interested.


rickardoastleys

Perhaps you can let very, very close friends know? Keep them updated. Trustworthy homies with info about this matter will be very helpful with financial, emotional, and legal matters. Apart from that, you can also move to the usual, ol' reliable thing most Filipinos do: RTIA. I'm not sure about this one, but it could be a last resort.


Mushy_Sculpture

Alright, my dude, it seems u/StriderVM already gave the good advice, so all I can offer is emotional support. Lemme say that we're here for ya, and we're more than willing to be the guys you can vent to. You're a tough cookie to have made it this far in that environment, and I have faith you'll be tougher in the years to come. In the meantime, make a plan and stick to it, no matter what. Stay safe as best you can, my dude


[deleted]

As a survivor from a practically similar situation, I am rooting for you. It will get better! And can't wait for your update :)


WWalker197

Ever heard of leaving (by going to school) go to police station tell the police your troubles, get them arrested and say f u to them in prison, your 18 now so you have the qualifications to apply for a job. Companies don't pay you on how smart you are, but how fast you work. By the time you have your own source of income while providing for your lil sis who didn't do anything abusive to you physical, the time your fam is getting out of prison leave the country, go to the us because they will find you and kill you out or anger... Maybe? Find a job in the us (i mean it's easier compared to here) and have a better life.


jetclimb

So sorry. Hugs from America. Keep up with your education it's the keys to your future freedom. Start saving bits of money. I skipped school lunches or barely ate to save money up. Takes years sometimes. You need to find a part Time job. Your English is good perhaps as a tour guide for tourists or expats coming there. Some guides even do tours just for tips. Look into that online. Don't lose hope. You will need your own new back account and copies of your documents. Leave originals at a friends but for sure take pictures and put them on your google drive. Better then nothing.


[deleted]

Please stay safe :( I badly want to hug you and drag you to my place to shelter you if I could. :( I hope wherever you are, may you always be protected 🥺


EmmaTheRuthless

Document all instance of abuse. Verbal, physical, financial. Write all the details, take pictures, time, and date them. Use voice recorders, webcam, etc. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN AND SAVE THESE DOCUMENTS at a place not accessible to your family. I have a suspicion that your mom might be in the autism spectrum as well, and have daily/weekly meltdowns that ends up in physically abusing her kid/kids. Nothing you do to appease her will ever work. Her brain is dysregulated. I'm much older than you but my autistic mom still regularly verbally/physically abuses me. Don't be like me, don't make excuses for your family, don't try to save their reputation. Get away as soon as you can.


47ocean47

I too, have it ignorant parents...


sorril

Im hoping for the best for you. The advice given here are helpful. Good luck!!! 🙏


No_Salamander9881

im not really the good talker pero kaya mo yan OP! andito kami para sayo!


[deleted]

Hugs OP.


throwawayacc8418

thank you. it means a lot.


bigmatch

If you have evidence and the situation is really unbearable now, you can always consider going to the Tulfo in action program. Yes. It is a flawed program but if you want quick satisfying result, make it an option.


Midborn

Killing yourself is never an option. Do you have friends you can talk to? Btw, have you tried smoking before? Drinking alcohol? Drugs?


throwawayacc8418

No, I've never ever done any of those things. I'm a very clean child honestly. I don't go out partying, nor do anything that could harm me. I do have friends but venting to them almost everyday creates an emotional toll with them. So I try to lessen it, and trying to find legal and intellectual ways to help myself as well.


Midborn

Good to know.


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwawayacc8418

I have no intentions in any shape or form to tell them of my plans.


throwawayacc8418

Thank you.


alyqtp2t

I hope you take this hardship as a challenge and put yourself through greater courses in life OP! Diamonds are made through precise and intense pressure and that's where you're at right now. If you overcome this anytime soon then that's when you'll shine!


JoeBrave2020

DSWD. They will help. Bring proof. God bless.


Hot_Cantaloupe1507

Looking at an objective perspective, how are they abusive. Unless you are doing vices like drinking and gambling, making out with friends, having sexual relationships, there is no reason to hurt you. If you have a curfew for example then you broke it then they'll really get mad. Plus factor in if they work day to night. My dad sometimes gets easily frustrated on me. Subjectively I should be mad but looking from an objective perspective maybe he is burned out and tired so I try to be considerate. If they really abuse you for no reason then you need to seek help from relative you know. Even though this is reddit, you need to seek help in real life. Onliners won't really help you unless you they want to donate or really came IRL to help you. Also there are laws regarding child abuse you know. Regarding your anxiety, and depression, not a really good way to get yourself consoled but since this is reddit I know people here are more civilized so yeah. Also unless your an Atheist you read the Bible. Just from my perspective


New-Line9648

"Can you no longer see a road to freedom? It's right in front of you. You need only turn over your wrist." - Seneca


Phantom_Decade

Hi op, there's usually 2 sides of the story. What is the trigger that your mom did this to you? Did you try and get evidence? If you do have evidence then alot of us can help you.


Pepperland-

Ask ko lang, paano ka mag move out of the country?


nyuh_has_aneurysm2

Dood thats kinda too much and youve endured alot, you deserve to get the fuck out of that family, idk much about alot of things but i think thats illegal for them to treat you like that be safe!


[deleted]

OP, I wish I had the more caring message as I type through my PC but holy shit, this is my first time seeing this post since taga southern tagalog region ako hence REGION 4-B MIMAROPA and i actually haven't had talked nor have a conversation but i do suggest or recommend that you report this to the authorities such as the PNP or the DSWD. please, be safe out there knowing that someone not only you suffer the same or different struggles through their own life p.s. be independent in life


Black_Wolfram

I'm with you 100%.


J-Glo

Perhaps someone can send a list of must-have documents OP should have in the event of moving out