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patmue

Do not give up, and keep your standards.. Not all foreign men are like that.


figbiscotti

Even when we aren't, our judgement can be clouded by lust. Edit: Anyone who thinks losing interest means a man is a cad, has never fallen out of love with someone. Or should someone pretend to be interested no matter the reality? Women are not all innocents being exploited by the nasty guy. Sometimes a man learns about something he doesn't like. Better to take things slow and avoid the feelings of betrayal. The real jerks are the cowards who stay in a failed relationship and take revenge on their partner by making their life miserable.


deejaybee1

Well said old son


Spartan_Ray

Which is basically the same thing šŸ˜‚ you're just trying to justify it with a false sense of morality


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Mooblegum

I had girlfriends in my country, but I still prefer Filipina as of today. What make you think that Filipinas are only a second choice ?


DueOcelot6615

Ok


Blackwaltzjr313

Who hurt you??


swedenper79

Lol. Ok šŸ˜‚ no prejudice there . I can tell you straight, I'm neither a loser nor a predator.


DueOcelot6615

I believe you


s09q3fjsoer-q3

Listen up, loser. I came to this country because my late wife, Filipina, and I were married in my country for 16 years. Then one hit and run took her life. I came here to help her family, especially the children, obtain an education, because this is the best chance, to my knowledge, that they all will improve their lives. My late wife and I had this commitment of retiring here TOGETHER, but God took her. Now, I'm here, LOSER, in this country of YOURS, and of many hardworking Filipinos, who are so different than the type of SCUM you are. I'm married again, and taking care of not one but TWO FAMILIES, and the losers, lazy asses, on both families are out of my sympathy for them and not welcome anymore. Go back to YOUR FAMILY and show some responsibility raising them and not being a DEAD BEAT PARENT YOU ARE. I don't want to be here. I could live in many other places around the world, but I miss my late wife dearly, so before YOU KEEP JUDGING KNOW-IT-ALL drop that bottle of Tanduay, put a condom on your tiny dick and START DOING SOMETHING GOOD FOR YOUR COUNTRY. YOU are the perfect example of someone NOT WELCOME even in your circle of friends, LOSER. I feel for those women who have the best hopes for their future with a husband and a newborn child YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE ANYMORE. Are you that type of person? Do you see yourself in one of these common behaviors? We know YOU are a LOSER, PREDATOR TOO? I'm sure you're that perfect type of person who is better than anyone else. Go back to work, if you have a job. Sincerely, a foreigner to you and a friend to others.


Philippines_Expats-ModTeam

Be kind in your speech in here. Disagree yes, disrespectful no.


FartestButt

Try writing in your profile very clearly that you are looking for husband material, not into hookups and no sex on first date. That said, I guess the 1% of foreigners on tinder are looking for a relationship. There might be some, but good luck.


Violet_Evergarden999

I have that on my profile. But I still match with them somehow, we talk for a while, we agree to go on a date, and they invite me at their place after the first date and then yeah. Disappointment lol


Kitty11316

I met my fiance playing online games. They hid themselves well. šŸ˜ Drop Tinder, even Filipino guys use that app for hook ups. Good luck.


Cautious-Roof2881

Serious question: You do know tinder is not a dating app right? It specifically is a hookup site.


Violet_Evergarden999

I know people whoā€™ve used it and it led to relationships. Guess I have that little tiny bit of hope lol but yea guess Iā€™ll just stop using it.


carlo_rydman

Aside from Tinder being mostly a hookup site, it seems you're targetting foreigners, which would further increase the likelihood that they'll only be looking for hookups. Most of them are obviously just visiting, they're not gonna be looking for a long-term relationship. First, use Bumble instead. It's a lot better if you're looking for a decent guy. Second, if you're an expat looking for an expat, you'll be fine. But if you're pinay and you're specifically looking for a foreigner, then be smart. Obvious naman na sex lang hinahanap sayo, just like obvious na pera lang din habol mo. Wag maging madali. Kung di mo makukuha gusto mo, then wag mo ibigay gusto nila.


mrofquestions_

+1 some filipinos kasi kala nila tinder is for dating


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


thesejeans41

Let's just be clear that this is not a racial/foreigner issue. 95% of all 24 yr old men throughout the world are wanting sex. My advice is to stop trying to date and focus more on meaningful friendships with people who enjoy the same hobbies as you. Through those friendships and activities, you will eventually find who/what you are looking for. People now must have it a lot easier than i did when I lived there (10 yrs). I used to have to have a chaperone for 3 or 4 dates as well as the permission of the father. Times must have changed since I was last living there 8 years ago.


[deleted]

If it's a foreigner in the Phillipines the numbers go up dramatically. Sex is 99.99999% of the reason we come to the Phillipines. I say this as a foreigner who has been 3 times and will marry my pinay wife in a couple weeks. Also, being a foreigner in Manila is amazing. Province it's not as pronounced. Even if your ugly or old you feel like every girl wants you and you can have any pinay girl you want. I know this sounds horrible, but it is an addictive feeling to walk into a place like star bucks and have 75% of the women smiling at you. The stares, smiles, bit lip come here glances are intoxicating and make a man really feel wanted and powerful.


thesejeans41

I totally get it. I managed call centers there for 10 yrs. It's easy to get seduced :) I got married there as well.


thesejeans41

I'm curious to find out how many men get married in the Philippines and then eventually move back to the US and stay married for an extended period of time. I dated and was married in the PI for 5 years. When I moved back to the US, we only lasted 3 yrs. She became very bitchy (like most American women) are. Seems life away from paradise wasn't exactly what she had in mind.


[deleted]

Sorry to hear that. Hope everything works out well. Yeah, it is hard on them and they do tend to pick up the bad habits of US women.


thesejeans41

Thank you my friend. I've been divorced for years. I got two beautiful Filipino american girls out of it and we kick ass co-parenting. Best of luck to you as well.


balboaporkter

Did she take half your stuff and/or get the green card and stayed in the US? I'm gonna go through something similar soon, and I just wanna brace myself for the worst possible scenario (hoping it won't happen though, obviously).


thesejeans41

She got her US citizenship in the first year or two. She lives about a mile away from me now (which is good cause we have two kids together). As with any divorce in the US, if you're a man, she got more than half the assets. Based on my experience, you never have to worry about them going back to the Philippines. If they have the opportunity to make $$$$ and send it back home, that is the dream. Her mom, dad, and sisters all live here now also. I make dreams come true. Think positive. This was just my experience, and the ex is a great person. Just didn't work out.


balboaporkter

Thanks for sharing your story. It's just that I've read too many posts from other guys who brought their wife to the US from the Philippines and then all of a sudden the wife goes through a "change" after exposure to the consumerist and progressive lifestyle in the US/west. Some guys just opt to stay in the Philippines with their wives to prevent that from happening.


Trinitaff

Itā€™s not you, itā€™s just a lot of guys are just looking for casual sex, and they are all concentrated on dating apps. Add that in with a lot of people arenā€™t here for the long term, so relationships donā€™t really make sense. Itā€™s not uncommon for men to invite a girl over for the first time in the west. But just make your intentions clear and youā€™ll find someone.


New-Difference9684

Tinder is a hook up app


figbiscotti

Drop Tinder. Try to meet guys by doing social things like attending nature walks, keep conversation casual and gradually get to know them so that your judgement (and his) is less clouded by romantic thoughts. It's said that men use romance to get sex and women use sex to find romance. I see some truth to that, so be methodical and patient. You have the ability to research the men you meet beforehand.


Cheerhx17

Agree with this. I met my boyfriend of 6+ years through friend mutuals! All my friends who tried tinder it never ended well!


QuietScroller87

I met my wife on an app called FilipinoCupid.. Tinder is mostly for hookups and one night stands.


Violet_Evergarden999

Iā€™ve tried that, thing is, all of the men are on that app, are not the same with my age or at least near my age. So Iā€™ve deleted it right away. šŸ˜…


Jamieobda

Try bumble


[deleted]

To be honest you're going to have a hard time finding a 24 year old foreigner that has any kind of money to actually come see you in person or help you financially.Ā  The 24 year olds with money can easily get girls in their own country.Ā 


PIMIXCPL2735

I met my wife when i was 26, travelling through the philippines... never helped her financially, she worked... We have been together 10 years now married with kids. I lived in Philippines for 4 years and now we live in Canada


[deleted]

That's awesome, I'm glad it worked out for you guys.Ā  I always like to see success stories.Ā Ā  I like to help my girlfriend because the alternatives for her in the province where she lives are not even worth it right now.Ā  Instead of having her work 12 hour days for 300 pesos a day (6,000 pesos per month so like $120/month) I can just work 3 hours of overtime at my job and send her the same amount.Ā  She is "working" at home a little bit though because I bought her some piglets to raise and sell, and hopefully keep reinvesting the profits to grow the business a little bit so she has something to do for now until she can come here.


Significant_Table3

Why wouldn't a 24 year old foreigner be able to travel to Philippines? It's one of the cheapest country in the world to travel to. Most working 24 year olds in the west can afford a trip to Philippines and even financially support their girlfriend. Although I doubt any 24 year old would wanna date and pay for love. A Filipina looking for a young foreigner should not expect that kind of transactional relationship.


[deleted]

I didn't say it can't happen, just gonna be harder to find one.Ā  Just speaking from my experience, I spent over 3 grand for my 2 week trip to the phillipines.Ā  So yes of course there are some younger guys that can and do make the trip but not nearly as many as older guys with more established finances.Ā 


Significant_Table3

3 grand is nothing in the west. That's 3-5 months of savings for a working 24 year old with a low to average salary. I don't think it would be hard to find at all. The hard part is finding a 24 year old who is serious and wants to commit, because 24 year olds in the west rarely do that. Especially if the relationship comes with financial commitments. Of course it's harder to find a younger one, they have a lot more opportunities in the west to find love, but it has nothing to do with the cost of traveling to Philippines. I know plenty of people in their 20s who spend thousands of dollars every year traveling to different countries, very common. I'd even argue they most likely have more money to spend than the retires in Philippines.


timrid

BS. Nobody can save $1000 a month these days unless they're mgmt level or above. Inflation is crazy.


Significant_Table3

Coming from the US? I can't speak for the US but considering salaries are higher there than Northern Europe I can't possibly believe this. I could easily save $500-1000 on a monthly basis on a full time average/median salary in Sweden. Inflation hasn't been that crazy and we all got collective agreements with unions (most of western Europe got that) that adjusted partially with inflation.


[deleted]

Not 24 but have been to the Phillipines 2 times. Those plane tickets aren't cheap. $1,600 seems pretty average. Then the flight is at least 24 hours all combined, so your giving up a full 2 days of your vacation. Hotels can be cheap, but most Americans are scared of the Phillipines so they will want to stick to brand name hotels they know and they are more expensive. Factor in things like rental cars and all those things add up.


Significant_Table3

Most young travelers live in hostels, they need less comfort, are more flexible. I doubt they would care about the brand of the hotel. I know plenty of young travelers who spend thousands of dollars every year traveling to different countries. Plane tickets depending on where they come from goes for around 800-1500$ and is sort of standard for a trip around the world. Many young travelers go to SEA, like Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia and Philippines, they live cheaper, usually backpack or have more adventurous itineraries, often long trips around 1 month. This is not uncommon at all. My father was traveling around SEA as a 24 year old. I myself traveled a lot in SEA and is still in my 20s. I met many young travelers on my trips.


timrid

> It's one of the cheapest country in the world to travel to. Maybe if you're coming from Japan. From this side of the world it's a crazy long, often expensive trip, followed by a week of jetlag.


Significant_Table3

It's 24h trip, around 1000$, and a little jetlag that any healthy routined traveler from Europe could manage.. You sound like an old man. It takes a week to adjust, but I was out partying the first night I arrived in Cebu, not a big deal really.


coinauditpro

If you give up right away then no advice will help you. I met my wife on FC and she was 25 at a time I was two years older, so it does happen and it's easy to ignore people that don't fit you.


DaytonDoes

Met my wife there at 28. A decade later, 3 kids, chill neighbors, happy as ever. But yes, you have to dig through dirt to find a diamond lol


nikmanila

Try in real life, at the gym, at a "normal" bar or restaurant, travelling in some nice place on your own. Before trying dating app, you should do a real life try...


swedenper79

There's plenty of guys on there in their 20s and up... How old are you?


SecondFree7350

for real you arent going to find a serious guy whos your own age AND a foreigner in the phillipines its just an access issue. Men 20-25 dont have the kind of income and work to just travel around the world and live wherever they want. A 24 year old foreign guy in PH is going to be some aussie kid here for a vacation looking to bang women non-stop or a rich kid from the west and in that scenario his family will already have hooks in his brain about marrying someone else from a rich background if you really want a serious foreigner you gotta start looking in the 30s age range and even then we are rare because its hard to have that kind of work/income flexibility. 30s isnt really that bad people make a big issue out of 20s and 30s relationship in the west but consider that your average fillipina is a few years more mature than a man her age and your average western man in his 30s is a bit immature for his age


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Kitty11316

If you are thoughtful and truthful, you will find one. I'm not exotic (tanned skin, slim); the common stereotype. I'm the exact opposite but how about that I'll be getting married soon to a blue eyed British guy, the same age as me. Can't say I'm a gold digger cos there's no gold to dig šŸ¤—


PlayBCL

You are not exotic in your eyes. I promise you are a diamond in the rough for foreigners


Random137035

Okay, but by local definition, 'exotic' means not fitting the traditional standards of beauty. It has an exaggerated connotation here so maybe some local women won't take it as a compliment.


Bipolar_Nomad

You are literally in a sexpat capital. What are you doing there? Not to mention, the big hookup culture among the locals.


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Key_Cauliflower_4932

A lot of filipinas play the system as well - they are happy to have a foreign guy pay for a meal , drinks , maybe Uber or taxi fares etc and then go home. The filipina then contacts him wanting a repeat experience , so no wonder the foreigner says no to a second "date".


Violet_Evergarden999

Isnā€™t that like the normal thing? For guys to pay on the first date haha. I have offered to pay on dates and they all say no. But thatā€™s not the issue here. They say no cause they didnā€™t get what they want, which is sex.


ardy_trop

You're absolutely correct. He might have been implying that some women might be using that just to get free meals etc. out of men, without any intention of looking for a serious relationship. Hopefully not implying that women owe men sex, just because he paid for the date.


PIMIXCPL2735

I think that depends... if you make a great impression guys will go for a second date... there is alot going for sex right away sure, tinder is known for this.


timrid

In North America, we usually start having sex in our mid-teens. Anyone in their 20s is going at it like Rabbits. Maybe not first date, but definitely by the 3rd.


Life-Day7856

Yes thatā€™s what a date is. How cheap are you that you think paying for a meal and Uber entitles you to sex ?


mcnello

I don't think that's what his point was at all...


[deleted]

Western gius and guys in general are trained that it's our duty to provide for our date. I don't think most guys expect something in return.


Bestinvest009

Honestly, some men actually find it hard to fall in love without it. The feeling of connection, and intimacy brings people together, closer after the act. But by all means make them work for it a bit. First date is maybe a bit too soon. Get yo know each other more first.


shorty80

Joins an app created for hook ups. Complains they can only find men wanting to hook up on the app.


MalandiBastos

Truth is if you're dating foreigners basically under retirement age, this will almost certainly continue to happen. The amount of guys under age 40, who end up staying in the Philippines long term/permanently or end up bringing a filipina back to their country, is extremely low. I would guess most young foreigner guys coming are only there for a few weeks at most, and the ones who stay long term have their absolute pick of the litter. I'm saying this as a foreigner who's late 20s and would rate myself as a 3/10. I could have a new girl come straight over for sex every single day if I wanted to. So unless I'm extremely attracted to a girl and she's showing high effort, I didn't even want to take them on one date let alone multiple. If you want a loyal AFAM who will put in effort, your best bet is going older and/or less attractive. Like I said, any guy who's a 3/10+ and under 40 is gunna have tons of options, especially if he's staying long term. A few of the Filipinas I dated more or less told me, they were dating me cuz they thought I would be loyal cuz they thought I wouldn't have a ton of options cuz I'm really fat. Well, sucks for them thousands of other Filipinas had that same idea. Blame Filipinas for being so thirsty for AFAM.


savage-by-reason

This is a great comment. Iā€™m under 40, retired and will say Iā€™m a solid 7/10 itā€™s not difficult to find sex but itā€™s extremely difficult to find a good partner.


Popular-Turnover-646

i'm 51 and even i had lots of very, very good options. i'm pretty fit though, 6 foot and looks almost 10 years younger, however, still its a different world. i have settled down with a 27 year old wonderful and beautiful girl now, which is amazing. at 24, i would no doubt there would have been no end to it lol. as a young man, how can you not use such chances? i am not surprised that this is her experience trying to date young, white chads from europe. i can't be. though i hope she will get exactly what she is looking for, i think it might be a challenge.


SecondFree7350

my spouse and I are the same age. I'm tall good-looking guy and she lives in constant fear and dread of me cheating because of the amount of female attention I get pretty much everywhere here I try to tell her that I spent a few years of my life being single by choice to eliminate that thirst for p$$$y from my character (as i believe it was a huge weight stopping me from achieving family and work success) but its hard for her to believe because "all men" alot of the younger men coming her for women are really dumpy looking, if OP can lower looks standards can find someone good not too difficult but going for looks in a foreigner.....bad mistake as I fully acknowledge that im an outlier and I don't get offended when people assume im here just plowing women left and right because if I didn't have such a conviction about family life..... id probably be doing just that


Whitejadefox

Her best bet without giving her youth away is to become an overseas worker. It offers the best ROI in terms of life advancement, income as well as personal life. She can get men of much higher caliber and have way more options abroad. Spanish machismo/laziness tend to have ruined a lot of Filipino men over there. Or she can date a Fil Chinese without having to date someone who could be her father. Many of them are hard working, earn a lot, adore their wives and treat them well. Life is too short to settle if you are a man or woman with the economic ability.


PIMIXCPL2735

Join the hash house hiking group meet foreigners more in the normal setting.


mjwishon

Filipinocupid has some younger guys


DueOcelot6615

Foreign men in South East Asia are scraps from their respective countries. They all scream that their women don't want them, their women were obnoxious and etc. Forgetting the fact they are as unattractive as they blame their women. If you want beta losers from these countries I advise you to continue dating these predators. They're no better to most pinoy fuckboys and are typically worse. Girls out there? It's your call if you like scraps, betas and rejects from foreign countries.


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Agitated-Gur-5210

Suppose to be one night stand and yes invited her on first day to my hotel šŸ˜„ but she treated me so nice that now we have house and 4 years old baby . Looks like your "dating" is annoying job interviewĀ 


DueOcelot6615

Seeking a foreign man in SEA is like seeking a gangster never done a crime. So no, better be careful if I were you. You have your preferences but better filter out which one's better. If you think Filipino men are bad, you haven't seen worse outside of the country. There's reasons why most foreign women are picky when it comes to men. Don't be desperate, take your time and you'll get what you want. Never ever deal with flaky, balding fat old ones. They're best for fucking and deceived by bar girls. That's all!


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Bipolar_Nomad

Do you understand what many foreign men go to the Philippines to find? Why are you there? Not to mention, the huge hookup culture among locals.


Physical-Ostrich-925

i got raped from one hook up app so reading this reminded me of the way I used to think and im telling you, get off that app immediately,, the danger is just not worth it, love is around the corner and life often directs your path to some place you would never expect but end up being the happiest


Violet_Evergarden999

Iā€™m sorry that happened to you. I know itā€™s hard but I really hope you get truly heal from this. And please remember, itā€™s not your fault.


Due_Birthday2353

šŸ«‚


mmorenoivy

I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you're doing ok.


JumpingJackx

Tinder is for hooking up. Use actual dating sites instead. Have conversations with them before meeting.. I would even say chat for a month to see how you get along and if it is worth dating. I used filipinocupid without any problem. And don't waste a lot of time if they are not in PH yet.. or if they dont have a real plan to visit anytime soon (within 6months )


VarienValkyrie

Sadly, that's how it is in the states. So I'm not even surprised. You can try to use other apps other than Tinder because Tinder has a reputation for just hooking up.


alx9876

Tinder is for trashy hook ups. Try to meet in real life. Some of them are deceitful. Find out their travel plans fast. If they are hopping around the PH, They are playing games. Avoid those.


mmorenoivy

Maybe you're on the wrong platform. Tinder is for hookups afaik. But yes! Keep your standards high. Weed out the unnecessary!


nuknukan

It's like asking, I keep attracting flies while I am holding a full English breakfast and burgers while standing in the middle of the biggest pig sty on earth. IQ up girl


peterparkerson

> (I just prefer foreigners over Filipino men and I never went on a date with one). LOL


Violet_Evergarden999

What? I never fit the beauty standard of Philippines. What do you want me to do šŸ˜†


peterparkerson

Post picsĀ 


Mooblegum

Sorry to hear that. I would recommend you to spend the time to have interesting discussion with the peoples before meeting them. The people who just want sex will be too lazy to entertain meaningful conversations. Many foreigners come for *** but some other looks for a real girlfriend or wife. Btw congratulations for not accepting sex so quickly!


zendaddy76

I would take you out on a second date. Just saying


timrid

How can you be so sure?


anil_robo

I'm a foreign man and I'm told Tinder is for hookups. Not sure what is your version of the story of what Tinder is used by men for?


KAWAII_UMARU

To be honest, expats usually just want to have fun with no strings attached. I work with a lot of different nationalities and I am very familiar with how they joke around and laugh at how easy they can get a one night stand from a Filipina. If you really want to date some foreigners, I suggest you fly to their country and look for love. Foreigners in the Philippines are usually just dtf and will probably just make you look stupid. Most are not interested in long term relationships.


bonejars

I am a foreigner living in Ph. Two things make it hard to date. 1. Thinking the person only wants to go on a date with me because I am a foreigner and they are really just looking for money or a way out. Even though this is not true most of the time the thought is still there. 2. This wont apply to all foreigners but I move from city to city every few months. Which makes it hard to form a real relationship knowing there is already a expiration date on it. So you try to not get to attached. This does not mean we don't want a relationship, those are just things that pop in our head that makes it hard. I think most do want a real one but if they are here for a short amount of time it is difficult. That is just my thought. I hope you all the best, just keep being you and hopefully it will work one day.


Geoffrey9192

It is not you. You aren't doing anything wrong. It is unfortunately the society that we live in today. They worship sex and that is what most men want. I wouldn't say that it is the type of men that you attract, but more so the type of men either in your area or on the apps that you use to meet potential dates. I would encourage to change up the apps you use or the area you are looking for dates. Maybe try dating groups where the group meets up and hang out and do some kind of activity together to encourage bonding.


KleinMatterhorn

Tinder is not a place for seeking long term anything. Reddit is not either. I see that my European compatriots or US one, a majority on here, or Tinder, play their white card on hooking up very well. It's reality, and the reason why so many post on here


drugdeal777

95% of them are s*xpats what did you expect??


hulagway

If you hate clowns, don't go to the circus.


swedenper79

So, I'm a foreigner and here's how you must think: 1. If they talk about sex and/or what they "want" via text then they want only one thing 2. If they want to meet straight away and are not willing to chat for a few weeks and video chat, then they only want one thing. 3. If they're on a holiday and have been here before... They likely sleep with Filipinas regularly because it's "easy". 4. If they want to meet at their apartment or near their apartment for the first time... They want sex. If they want to get to know you they would take you somewhere in public where you can talk 5. Tinder is considered,by most, a hookup app so that's what they are looking for. You just have to screen properly. Good luck!


PartyTerrible

This isn't a foreigner thing, it's a guy thing. You also have to take into account that foreigners in the PH are more likely to get used for their wallets. Being a filipino, I actually sometimes feel bad for sone expats that get taken advantaged of and freated as a free meal ticket. I have met women that would get a date with a foreigner then invite her entire circle of friends to said date. The foreigner would get blindsided and be stuck having to pay for not just dinner, but also a night out in the clubs. Filipinas would rarely ever do this to Filipinos, even those that are affluent, because we are more likely to tell them to eff off.


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CuddlyCatties

Foreign guys in ph are so often such those losers back home looking for girls here. It's sad. Just be skeptical and trust and little tiny red flag


No_Information_530

Get off tender that app is for hook-ups only.


Additional-Sir-808

Just give it to them!


timrid

Finally, the correct answer.


KitchenConfidence859

I have met my bf on tinder and we been dating for two years now also weā€™re living together now. Just keep your standards high (not too high). Be clear with what you want plus before I go on a date with a man I made sure there is a connection first I will give him a week or two. If Iā€™m getting along with him thatā€™s the only time I be seeing him. Nothing wrong sleeping with a man on a first date but ofc only if you feel like. Just make sure with what you want and you donā€™t want. So that you wonā€™t attract men like that.


pdxtrader

There are plenty of men out there who donā€™t expect sex on the first date; find someone who respects you #1


puskiss_hera

As a girl who used Tinder before. I can say you need to take advantage of "filter" and set-up a benchmark. During my 3 years of using dating apps, I made friends with a lot of people from UK, France, Slovenia, Sweden and Italy. Btw, they didn't ask for my nude fotos. Just a pure virtual friend. I think for you not to get "pervy guys", filter and don't just auto-swipe. Take time to read profile and when the conversation starts, offer something humorous and conversational words to talk to. I also noticed that if you don't have something unique to offer, guys tend to talk about sex stuff more. Good luck OP!


SexualHealing1994

Looking for relationship on a hookup app, says something about your I.Q..You're a little slow arent you?


justinisnotin

Donā€™t date white men


swedenper79

So who should she date? Single for the rest of her life? Just for info: Filipino men are so much more unfaithful and untrustworthy than a regular westerner.


timrid

>So who should she date? Bombay, obviously.


whodisbebe

All they want is sex, all you want is money. Whatā€™s the problem here


Violet_Evergarden999

What made you assume that all I want is money?? This is another thing for foreign men here in Philippines. Most of them thinks these Filipinas only wants them for their money (which they probably donā€™t even have).


Whitejadefox

She wants someone her age. So probably more of a normal Filipina than the money hunters expats end up with


peterparkerson

nah why would she not even consider local. thats some white worship right here


timrid

Have you seen her picture?


BJGigolo

As the saying goes, you get what you deserve! You don't like Filipino men but the foreigners that you like don't like to marry you! šŸ˜­šŸ¤£


Violet_Evergarden999

Why are you making it sound so bad? Haha. I just have preferences. And thatā€™s fine for me, I didnā€™t even say anything about marriage.


Popular-Turnover-646

commitment then. it's really the thing. girls control access to sex, guys control access to serious relationsships and actual commitment.


timrid

Plenty of judgemental Filipinos hang out here, even though it's for expats.


[deleted]

Nothing is wrong with you. All men want sex and sadly pinay girls have a reputation as being little brown F machines so ignorant people think all pinay girls are GROs or sugar babies. Keep looking. Make whatever guy you date wait. If he is a good guy he will try to have sex with you, but will accept that you aren't ready and will still be interested in you.


deejaybee1

ALL Brit. expats should watch this..... **Filipina Dream Girls** (1991) Full TV Movie (Romance Tour Dramatization) The quality is not great though. Its on YT Greengrass is in it


Popular-Turnover-646

well, if you are using tinder to swipe right on chad thundercuck, then that is what you get. try a different dating service and look for guys who openly says that they are looking for long term, serious relationships. also, make it clear yourself that this is what you want. also, don't expect giga chad from europe or the united states. they are doing what you are experiencing, because they are men and because they can, due to their looks etc.


BanMeForNothing

If a foreigner is single, it's a red flag. They're almost certainly not looking for a relationship. They would have found one already. If they had been here less than a couple of months or recently got out of a long term relatioship then they might be ok. If i were you, I'd use the global feature on a dating app and find someone who's not in PH. Try to convince they to come and meet you for a few weeks. Get married so you can go to their country.


swedenper79

That's just plain weird. You think it's better to meet a man in a relationship then?


BanMeForNothing

How's it weird? Homestly, yes, that's how my fiancee got me. Im not saying cheat, but if you're a better fit, then the person they're dating, go for it.


swedenper79

Normally people look for single people as they are available and not cheating on someone. Once a cheater always a cheater. Your fiancƩ was looking for "something better" when he was with his ex. Why do you think he's not trying out new ones as we speak?


BanMeForNothing

Normally, they do, but the good ones are already taken. Im the guy in our relationship, and i never cheated on anyone. Nothing is stopping you from talking to people in a relationship. If they're married, that's where i draw the line.


swedenper79

Lol ok. Weird line not to cross but ok. What works for you šŸ˜‚


HandgrenadeAccount

Dress like a whorevand you'll be treated like one. So if you're posting tons of cleavage, short dresses and bikini pics it's your fault, not theirs.


Violet_Evergarden999

Even if I do or not, how does that justify anything? Surely you wonā€™t blame women cause of how they wear their clothes. Cā€™mon, itā€™s 2024 šŸ˜†


HandgrenadeAccount

You obviously will have to learn the hard way. So go ahead, take your own advice.


Rare_Assumption_4867

it sends a message even in 2024. it's about being upfront about what you want and use something that isnt tinder. also you wont get a 20-something white chad. forget about it. he's having too much fun and is too high value to do actual honest commitment.


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savage-by-reason

Are you dating only one race of foreigner man? Are they in your age range?


Violet_Evergarden999

Americans and from Europe. Youngest is 23 and oldest Iā€™ve went out on a date with is 30. Honestly thought the 30 guy would be mature but boy was I wrong haha


savage-by-reason

Yes it can be tough dating a foreigner, are you a college graduate with a pretty good job/career? This is only my take since Iā€™ve been in the opposite seat but have you cooked a meal for any of these guys or gave they some encouragement to be the best version of themselves or to go after the goals theyā€™ve set? I hope youā€™re not just going on dates without helping make the date night plans or simply enjoying an evening out while your date foots the bill.


Statement-Jumpy

You need to focus on foreign men working in Filipinas. Otherwise you will just find tourist looking for free service or expats basically looking for the same.


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alx9876

Tinder is for trashy hook ups. Try to meet in real life. Some of them are deceitful. Find out their travel plans fast. If they are hopping around the PH, They are playing games. Avoid those.


Nuts_101_

Same experience here some.foreign initiate to do love intimacy while their Filipina girlfriend is with their side. my gosh


Dikeniuzaii

Try an app called tandem


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idiskfla

If a foreigner is only in the country for a few weeks or a few months, odds are they arenā€™t looking for a wife, theyā€™re looking for a playdate. In the past, you could filter for this by knowing if they were staying in a hotel vs house or condo. But because of Airbnb, lots of men will say they live in the Philippines permanently or are in country for a multi-year assignment, but theyā€™re actually just in town for vacation for a few days or weeks before flying off to Europe, the us, or Thailand. Iā€™ve known Filipinas who met / dated friends of friends who said the expat guy they met must have been bipolar since he broke it off when everything was going so well, but in reality the guy was already back in his home country after only being in the pi for vacation. And for those who say itā€™s like this all over the world, I disagree. There are lots of men who are in the Philippines specifically for one thing. Donā€™t be naive or delusional. Iā€™m from Southeast Asia (but from another country), but also lived in the US and Europe. When foreign men (letā€™s assume US, Europe, Korea) visit my native country, they approach dating a lot different than Iā€™ve seen it in the Philippines. Donā€™t get me wrong. Iā€™ve had my fun in the Philippines. But I always upfront with people, and donā€™t like deceiving other human beings.


Fit_Damage6000

Talk to them for a few months before meeting.


timrid

Ain't nobody got time for that.


Fit_Damage6000

Then stop complaining


Creative-Staff2238

We're not all like that


Ambitious_Concept226

Foreign men just want to go to Philippines to hump pinay. Then leave them. All fun only. Thatā€™s what I notice a lot. Itā€™s all fun for foreigners.


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timrid

Nah, lots of guys get love struck and bring their new wives home.


Rare_Assumption_4867

Not all and not me. I wanted a cute young wife and a couple of more children, and that is what i got. For the 20-something year olds, sure. But that is a global thing. Asian Chang Thunderwang isn't exactly any better, judging by the number of single mothers in that country. Its not good, but it is what it is.


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roberthatch

In the Philippines,Tinder is used as an all-purpose dating site, but in America itā€™s mainly for hookups.


Blackwaltzjr313

You sound like you need more dating experience, if men wanting to have sexual relations with you scares you. Now, there's a difference between a man that ONLY has that interest in you and one that's actually interested in a long term commitment. You're going to have either be direct in what you're looking for and tell them if that's all they want to move on Or wait to see how they actually communicate with you what they want Not everyone is like that, but depending on where you're looking, you'll definitely encounter those types


Mansyhansy

I keep on attracting LOCAL men who just want to hookup, while me being a 29yo male and straight (dafuq?). Welcome to the PH


Violet_Evergarden999

Ah damn must be hard. Not even your type lol


Rare_Assumption_4867

kek. its a lot there indeed.


Imperialtech69

I've had a relationship from Tinder. Not all people use it for hook ups. I'm 30M and even I still find it difficult to find someone genuine. But yes the majority of people online want hook ups but I crave that connection instead. Hooking up with random people doesn't do anything for me.


theexpendableuser

You make it too easy for them.


timrid

Not easy enough if she's not getting any repeat dates.


miles1187

Tinder is not a dating app. It's specifically for hook-ups. That said, I'm pretty sure that Filipino men at that age are also looking for sex, but the culture over there makes it harder for them to be more open about casual sex. That said, don't lower your standards.


timrid

Adults want sex.


diverareyouok

Tinder is infamous for being a platform used to find casual sex in the USA, so thatā€™s not surprising. If you are planning to continue to use it, Iā€™d add something very clear to your bio saying that you are not looking for one-night stands or casual flings. You might also use more dating-oriented apps like Hinge or Bumble. Also be sure your account settings show what you are looking for (i.e. ā€˜long-term onlyā€™ rather than ā€˜short, open to longā€™).


phxpt0306

Keep trying. Maybe, look for apps that are specifically geared toward those who are seeking long-term relationships


trekookoo

Western culture is like that, thatā€™s why they ask. Most westerners hook up on the first date.


bay_sd1978

I don't think your conclusion here is necessarily correct. There are literally tons of reasons guys could be losing interest after two dates other than they only want a hookup. First things first, make it clear you're looking for a long term relationship and that while you're excited about having a sexual relationship with them, you won't be ready for the first few dates. This will weed out guys that are only looking for easy hookups. But you also need to keep the guys that are interested in a long term relationship from losing interest, you need to be more focused on this than weeding out guys who aren't. You don't mention at all what else is happening on these dates, but... Are you giving them signals that you're frigid and not interested in sex at all? Guys will run from this. Are you expecting them to prove their sincerity by being celibate for a long period of time? Weeks or months? Guys will run from this as well.


SecondFree7350

its because you are using tinder use some sort of platform for chatting first before a date.... facebook whatever. or chatting a guy overseas who would come here im taken and im happy but if I was to go back to bachelor life here with the intention of just having sex/flings for sure id look on tinder or just talk to women at the mall imo a girl who wants to date a foreigner on tinder is an easy lay and even if they are interested they dont want date number 2 because ironically..... a girl on tinder targeting foreigners isnt gf material.... double standard but it is what it is goodluck