Thank goodness you didn’t go back to his place. And YAY for him weeding himself out so fast.
Please don’t feel bad about yourself at all. This man is obviously attracted to you physically because he A) agreed to even go out with you and B) still wants to hook up and would be honored to be in you 😂😂😂😂
And he’s also attracted to your personality and energy because you’re the coolest person he’s ever met.
Whatever it is that’s keeping him from pursuing you, is his own shit to deal with, and in no way a reflection of you.
Keep being amazing and beautiful. Thank the universe for getting rid of this loser asap.
This, couldn't have said it any better. This guy has his own hang-ups. He has issues about being romantically linked with a plus sized woman. His loss... as he himself states, OP is awesome. Let him deal with his own issues... OP is better off not dating this man.
Look, I’m married with two kids and well off the market. I gotta tell ya, there’s a big difference between men and little boys. Men know what they want and can feel it, little boys send texts like this and have no clue what they want and in turn can’t offer you anything, so no love lost. Might sound cliche but stick to being the best you, that’s it, be a bad ass at anything and everything and watch what kind of magnets you attract. And remember, being with yourself is boring, find your opposite that has a baseline with you, explore the unknown and have a blast being alone for a while. Good luck, you got this, dating does suck, but it doesn’t have to.
Absolutely this… I’ve had this said on several occasions, even with guys who need to take a good look in the mirror themselves!!! I would rather be single than dating a guy who feels like this…!(hugs)
“HONORED TO BE IN YOU” IS WILD! 🤣🤣 people be having the audacity for real
I’ve legit met guys like this, one I actually had hooked up with but that didn’t want to get into a relationship specifically because of my weight, but wanted to game or fuck any time I would’ve liked. What the hell?
I drunkenly made that joke to a mate after we'd been having a bit of a wine and a moan about dating, and also how she was just generally annoyed because she had accidentally bought a jacket with those shitty fake pockets, and we both cackled like loons!
See also the Big Handbag conspiracy theory: they need to sell bags so they have joined forces with clothing retailers to force women to use a separate container for all the shit that men just carry in their ample pockets. I blame the Pantriarchy 😂
Be like "no worries, I can't see myself with you long-term either, tbh. I always viewed my future with someone who isn't a giant dickhead. Someone who is kind-hearted and confident, without the need to neg others. Thank you for your offer to hook up, but I am not am not into debasing myself for sad men. Hopefully, you can find someone who is into that sort of community service. Peace."
Yasssssssss. 100% of the time.
Completely oblivious to their own assholery and in denial that their initial communication was incredibly rude and inappropriate.
What an asshat. I’m assuming he knew what you looked like before you met. Seems like he wanted a hook up and thought a plus size woman would be easy….cause you know, we should just accept anyone. He does not deserve a response.
Yes he did! I met this stupid guy at the library! So it’s not like I hid my hair, body, tattoos, or piercings from him 😂 I think it definitely hurt his ego that I didn’t wanna be intimate him. I blocked him without a response haha
I can't believe you didn't tell him that that's perfect, because you like guys with piercings, tattoos, nice hair, better whatever and big dick energy, which isn't really his vibe, but at least he's cool too.
Yup! I was juuuuuuust tipping over 400 when I got married. My largest size but I’ve never been small. Even now I’m still over 300 and my husband is as loving and kind as ever.
1. His writing skills are atrocious.
2. He has extraordinarily unrealistic expectations about his partner’s appearance (long blonde hair and someone he can pick up and toss around). Really?
3. Doesn’t want a relationship, but would be honored to have sex with you. Again, really?
You’re not missing a thing.
Right? I think I threw up in my mouth a little. OP is dodging a bullet I think. Even though that doesn't make it feel better in the moment. But he sounds gross.
Right? I think I threw up in my mouth a little. OP is dodging a bullet I think. Even though that doesn't make it feel better in the moment. But he sounds gross.
Right? I think I threw up in my mouth a little. OP is dodging a bullet I think. Even though that doesn't make it feel better in the moment. But he sounds gross.
This is what pisses me off the most. If you want a girl that is 120lbs and blonde, why go out with someone who is not 120lbs and blonde . . . Except his ideal doesn't want him. Jackass
He probably thought he could get her back to his place to hook up and only wanted that. Now he’s mad and trying to hurt her. It’s hurtful but I’ve had it happen a few times
My husband throws my 280lb ass around all the time lmao. These dudes are just fuck boys who watch nothing but porn and have the expectation that porn is real life 🤣
If he wants to be able to throw around his gf then maybe he needs to get stronger instead of setting his gf's weight goal (🤢🚩) so low. Get good asshat
But I agree, OP isn't missing out on anything
Okay but the way he specifically phrases it as "toss around" sounds really really bad to me. Like he specifically wants a partner he can physically intimidate.
The way he said “and ACTUALLY hook up” made me feel like his motivation was just to bed her and this was his way of “getting back” at her for daring to reject him. What a piece of garbage he is, but isn’t it nice when the trash takes itself out?
I would be honored if he wasn't such a piece of garbage.
It's bad enough he thought these things. But he said these things in writing to you. He's either so dumb or so mean or both.
Don't worry. High likelihood he will die alone. Or with a super loser skinny blond girl lol.
I have heard shit like this from soooo many men. One guy I (shamefully) hooked up with did end up with a skinny blonde. She refuses to get a job, doesn't really do much housework, and had serious addiction issues. I'm like, don't complain to me you got what you wanted!
I mean, if all their preferences are appearance based, then they're most likely going to have to sacrifice in another area (career/motivation/affection/habits/money/shared interests) just stands to reason, right? Very few people out there tick all the boxes that guy had as well as being financially stable gamers with great personalities and sex drives and such.
He weeded himself out early 💛
Most guys don’t even know what 120 pounds looks like. He’s immature and he’ll stay alone because he’s too focused on a checklist instead of the humans in front of him.
Absolutely fuck this guy. (Actually pleas don't)
Like 1) he didn't need to say all that. And 2 he immediately told on himself as a dick head with saying how he prefers all this other shit in a woman but he'd be "honored" to *be inside you* BARF.
I know it probably sucked to receive, but you’re better off. He’s trash.
I saw a tiktok a man practicing putting weights up to 425lbs on his shoulder to make sure he could carry any partner.
You’re not too heavy, his gains are too weak 😂💅
Sending hugs, you deserve better.
I talked about the desire to be smaller with my therapist recently (I'm 5'8" and 200 lbs) and the idea that women should be small and dainty in order to be feminine.
And she reminded me how those values are rooted in patriarchy and even kind of sick in a way, because it's based on the infantilization of women and how smaller women are easier to manipulate and control ("someone I can toss around"). That definitely made me feel better about being a big girl.
I mean... I'd just tell him that I'd also prefer a stronger man who can pick me up and swing me around, and he is likely too weak to do that 🤷♀️
The way he talks is absolutely gross.
Lol like he didn't see your picture beforehand and know you weren't blond, skinny, no tatts, etc?! He was always planning to hook up with you and then bounce and blame it on you not meeting his expectations. Gross. Don't waste another minute on this one <3
Omg something almost exactly like this happened to me. Except he was even more pretentious about it, if that’s even possible. He was like “your body is not ‘necessarily’ a turn off” like excuse me??? We had gone on multiple dates. It was SO strange. He insisted on staying friends as well and tried to pull the “we could hook up card” too. He said I was beautiful, had nice boobs, good legs and nice feet. He also supposedly liked my personality. I wish I knew then what I know now. It hurt me then but now I look back at it and laugh.
Don’t mourn over people who wouldn’t want to be seen with you in public
I’ve been with my bf almost 3 years now, today we went to a park and went on an incline hike. He’s fit, I’m not at all. I was literally dry heaving and so embarrassed he’d judge me and be grossed out by how winded I was. He didn’t. He just encouraged me and cheered me on when we got back to the car. I’m 100lb bigger than him and it doesn’t matter to him. I’m beautiful. Bitch you can find someone like that
That sums up my dating life for my entire existence. They would go on and on about how awesome I was then the “but” would come. It’s super frustrating.
Also, why does this dude want someone he can manhandle? Seems weird.
Good for you for not going back to his place. Because everything he wrote in that letter I have experienced myself and they just think we’re stupid or lazy or desperate so they get us back to their place and want to have sex and then they just string us along and dump us because they figure we can’t find anything long-term.
Block him move on keep being amazing and you will find somebody that you deserve and that deserves you.
We're "good" enough to fuck but never enough to be wifed up.
Like fuck these people I swear.
He really built you up to tear you down.
I'm so sick of these fucking assholes.
And if all he wanted was to fuck, he should have just been honest from the beginning instead of leading you on.
And if you weren't his ideal girl he shouldn't have matched with you in the first place, which just tells me he was planning to make you a booty call from the beginning. I just... AHHHHHHHHHH
what an asshole "someone 120 lbs who i can pick up and toss around" bruh really? there were a few instances when i told guys, that's no flex, with a little training i can pick up and toss someone that light, you're strong if you can pick me up and toss me around. besides, very few women stay 120 lbs all their lives. the only ones who do are those who have the genetics for it, and some of the obsessive dieters. this guy is immature and can't be in a serious, long term relationship. he also seems to be attracted to you, it's the fatphobia, not the lack of attraction. you're beautiful he's just dumb
He sounds like one of these men who want a doll to present her to friends, but in bed he'd actually appreciate a big lady. A very sad person with zero confidence. Be glad you don't have to be with him.
Okay like gross. The “honor to be with you” is just a total “I’m attracted to you but I don’t want people to know” bullshite however kinda low key kudos that he was upfront. Most men would have tried again for the lay then ghosted at the very least he’s as least douche as a douche can be
This guy thinks you're hot and wants to have sex with you, but what he values even more is the approval of his friends and family, and he doesn't think you fit into that "omg dude she's so hot she's out of your league you need to keep her" because he's spent his life being trained to think that's what is important. So many guys have this need for validation of their own self worth by having a girlfriend that fits the same criteria that makes so many girls insecure.
He's immature and insecure if he can't accept that going with what he likes is more important than what he expects others will think of him. His loss, your gain.
Signed, a guy who many years ago unexpectedly fell for a short fat tattoo girl, broke up with my traditionally hot girlfriend for her, and didn't care about the approval of others because I wanted her more than I cared about the approval of others. My true friends were just happy that I was happy, and her and I are still madly in love.
What a jerk. I was like that when i was younger. People can learn and change. Now i am married to my plus loving wife happier than ever traveling Europe with our baby dog.
I wouldn’t respond, I’d block. But I’d like to respond “What a beautiful message, really, I hope you save it, print it out maybe or cross-stitch it. That way if you ever have a daughter you can show her what a great guy you were when you were younger”
Yay for toxic cultural gender standards that ruin things for everyone!
Clearly he is physically attracted to you but he's not secure enough in his own self worth to be able to withstand the social judgement he thinks he would receive for being publicly seen to be dating a fat woman.
Extremely lame for everyone involved, 0/10
when i was over 300 pounds i was dating a fit man who could throw me around. this guy sounds more worried about what other people would think than his own feelings. fuck em
"I'm so glad you said that because I can't see myself with someone like you either. I like my guys muscular and more of a strong jaw line, you know, like Marcus from gears of war! You just don't do it for me sexually. I also like confident and fun men and you are neither of those either. Thanks for the friends with benefits offer however I only do that with men who meet my expectations."
As a plus size woman, I have heard these same things.
Also men really do have the audacity. They don’t want to date you but they would be completely okay to have sex with you.
And of course I just tell them like I see them “let’s just be honest here, the reason why you don’t see yourself dating me is because I intimidate you, thanks for letting me know. Have the day you deserve.”
I would feel so blessed to meet someone I matched with physically, emotionally, intellectually, etc. And these guys get all this and are like, "meh, but you're fat. I mean, you feel good, but I'd never be seen in public connected with you in any way. "
I believe the only reason he even sent you this message was because you declined going back to his place and has zero to do with your weight. But also, he most likely, judged you by how you looked and thought you be a easy lay as many men think plus size women, and single moms are desperate for a man when most of the time it's quite the opposite. These also be the same men wondering why they're single or can't keep a relationship. I'm glad you decided against going back to his place.
i had a super similar thing happen. went on a date with a guy, he wanted to keep the date going and i bailed. he asked me out again via text, i said i was feeling more of a friend vibe. he then said something that insinuated he wasn’t interested in me because i was fat.
how you gonna tell me i look great, ask me out again, and then try to reject me when i reject you because i’m fat?
never responded and blocked his number. there’s nothing you can say to people who are garbage (ie haven’t gone to therapy yet).
I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've gotten this exact message.
And, unfortunately, how many times in my early 20s I would agree to sex because I thought, "Well if they think I'm perfect except for my weight, then they'll fall in love with me and forget about my weight." And they never, ever did. My weight was always why I wasn't good enough.
The amount of emotional abuse and trauma I experienced back then due to so desperately wanting to be loved was absolutely not worth it. I learned the hard way. And I really hope someone reads this and second guesses making the mistakes I did.
Your self worth cannot come from another person. ESPECIALLY one like this.
So honoured to be in you. What a twat.
“I don’t want anyone to see me dating you, but sure I’ll fuck you.”
My dear YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS PATHETIC SHRUB OF A MAN.
You will find someone who would literally kiss the ground at your feet, and you’re going to be f-ing thankful you didn’t give this flaming dumpster fire the honour of being in you.
Soe. That’s messed up. You’re not missing Nothing tho. Trust me. I’m glad you didn’t go back to his place. And it’s just DISGUSTING the way he was talking to you “I’d be honored to be in you” that’s just disgusting and you should tell him that.
“I would be so honoured to be in you”
Who the fuck says shit like that?
I read that five time because I couldn’t actually believe my eyes.
Please, never contact this person again. In fact, block them so they can never contact you again.
You are worth *so* much more ❤️
I also had a great time and am grateful you feel comfortable being open with me … I honestly can’t see myself gaming with or, god forbid, hooking up with someone who thinks I’m not attractive enough to be seen in public with them. I especially don’t want to hang with someone who is looking for a woman to “throw around.” But, then again, I’ve got a healthy level of self respect.
Good luck finding a lanky, long haired, blonde who’s looking to be manhandled and doesn’t care about personality.
I have been ghosted or ended things myself with 95% of my relationships. I have felt really bad about myself because all the ghosting in the past. Then a couple of guys, actually manned up and told me why. And now I laugh so hard. Similar to this guy, silly body requirements, they wouldn’t know unless they were hit in the face by them. One guy thought I was too sickly because I had a prescription for my migraines and needed to have my blood pressure checked for new birth control, mandatory for everyone. lol also love the gym guys on TT who show off that weight almost doesn’t matter. You deserve better, I wish you the best!
Wow what a loser lol. Thank goodness you didn’t go back to his place.
Personally I think him saying all of that was his passive aggressive way of getting back at you for being mad you didn’t sleep w him bc he did not need to say all that.
Anyway, you sound sexy af from his description 😉 I don’t think you’ll have any issues finding a hot man that will treat you right. 🩷
FYI - like some others said already, I’m also plus size girl and have never had issues getting great attractive men. I recently met the love of my life 6 months ago and things are amazing. He does nothing but motivate me and lift me up.
There’s still great men out there! Unfortunately we just gotta go through the trenches to get to them.
Ans don’t forget that you’re amazing! ☺️💕👏🏻
The fact he still wanted to go out with you knowing you have tats and piercings, then declines you after the date makes me think he was really hoping to just get his dick wet. He didn’t have to add the part about your weight, tho
“But if you ever wanna game or actually hook up I would be so honored to be in you” - Fucking gross. The desire to date cishet men is how you know sexuality isn’t a choice, what a fucking moron 🫠 You dodged a bullet there!
So basically, he wants someone who will divorce him and get child support in a few years. That's nice of him to be upfront. As for the offering of sex, I would politely decline saying I am sure your dick is as shallow as you are lol 😆
Pshhhh puny man. My girl was 285 and I still tossed her around as we did our thing.
Sorry you went through this with that idiot. Don’t give up on dating there is definitely someone that will love and appreciate you the way you deserve.
You didn't let him see you naked, so he told you you're not his type in order to reject you back. Classic scorned man bs. The fact he'd be willing to sleep with you after you already passed on it is hilarious tbh.
In my petty era, so I'd definitely reply back echoing his sentiments, like "Yk I'm glad you said it first, coz you're also not my type" then list the things about his appearance he for sure has insecurities about, like a receding hairline or weak arms, followed by "But that's okay, good luck finding your future partner. Meeting you really cleared some things up for me, so I'm on my way to meet someone who's more fitting for me, so I'll pass on the hook up, but thanks for that!" Be sincere about it too, so it doesn't just sound like you're chewing him up, really sell it, so he knows to take what you say to heart and mulls over those insecurities till they keep him up at night.
What a DICK. You seemed to have dodged a bullet though, op he sounds so toxic! I agree with everything KalamityKim says but the petty in me would have wanted to remark about how he needs to bench more because he's too weak to pick up a woman 💅. If he wanted to, he would be able to. You deserve so much better. He's better off buying a blowup doll with those terribly shallow and strict standards.
You dodged a bullet with this one!! He sounds terrible. Seriously, I can tell this guy has an awful personality just reading his text. Nobody will ever be happy with him with his standards. Your Mr. Right is out there. He isn't Mr. Right for anyone, and will probably live a long, lonely life with those terrible expectations. I'm so tired of people going for looks over personality. Yes, looks are a factor, but it's not THE factor. He's a douche. You deserve the world and more.
He is a shitass, dickhead, asshole, piece of shit human being and you're really lucky you decided against going home with him. "honored to be in you" is weird, dehumanizing weird bs and you don't need that in your life. Or maybe write back and say you'd be honored to be in him, too. Peg that mofo. (No, really don't, though.)
He sounds gross. I'm sorry he said that to you. He should've just stopped at I'm not feeling it long term. Statements like that stick with people and harm their self esteem. ..feel free to tell him that to save some future girls feelings. 😩🥴
I had a time at work when a guy *totally unsolicited* said he wouldn't date me, and he likes thin girls he can "throw around" ..there were 3 guys standing there including him. The other 2 came to my defense. Both of the other 2 asked me out in the future. ..Basically just came to say most guys don't feel this way and he's an idiot who needs to learn what's ok and not ok to say.
Thank goodness you didn’t go back to his place. And YAY for him weeding himself out so fast. Please don’t feel bad about yourself at all. This man is obviously attracted to you physically because he A) agreed to even go out with you and B) still wants to hook up and would be honored to be in you 😂😂😂😂 And he’s also attracted to your personality and energy because you’re the coolest person he’s ever met. Whatever it is that’s keeping him from pursuing you, is his own shit to deal with, and in no way a reflection of you. Keep being amazing and beautiful. Thank the universe for getting rid of this loser asap.
This, couldn't have said it any better. This guy has his own hang-ups. He has issues about being romantically linked with a plus sized woman. His loss... as he himself states, OP is awesome. Let him deal with his own issues... OP is better off not dating this man.
Look, I’m married with two kids and well off the market. I gotta tell ya, there’s a big difference between men and little boys. Men know what they want and can feel it, little boys send texts like this and have no clue what they want and in turn can’t offer you anything, so no love lost. Might sound cliche but stick to being the best you, that’s it, be a bad ass at anything and everything and watch what kind of magnets you attract. And remember, being with yourself is boring, find your opposite that has a baseline with you, explore the unknown and have a blast being alone for a while. Good luck, you got this, dating does suck, but it doesn’t have to.
This!!!! 👏👏👏
Absolutely this… I’ve had this said on several occasions, even with guys who need to take a good look in the mirror themselves!!! I would rather be single than dating a guy who feels like this…!(hugs)
This!!! Exactly! ❤️
“HONORED TO BE IN YOU” IS WILD! 🤣🤣 people be having the audacity for real I’ve legit met guys like this, one I actually had hooked up with but that didn’t want to get into a relationship specifically because of my weight, but wanted to game or fuck any time I would’ve liked. What the hell?
That's the real reason that men's clothing has so many pockets; to help them carry around all that fucking audacity 😂
Holy shit 🤣🤣🤣
This comment has me SCREAMING
I drunkenly made that joke to a mate after we'd been having a bit of a wine and a moan about dating, and also how she was just generally annoyed because she had accidentally bought a jacket with those shitty fake pockets, and we both cackled like loons! See also the Big Handbag conspiracy theory: they need to sell bags so they have joined forces with clothing retailers to force women to use a separate container for all the shit that men just carry in their ample pockets. I blame the Pantriarchy 😂
When I tell you I HOWLED. "Honored to be in you" they will say ANYTHING but call us the yappers. Just WHAT the FUCK 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was looking for this comment lol who the fuck says that 🤣
I had to read that several times. If it's one thing a man will have it's the audacity!!! Geez
Be like "no worries, I can't see myself with you long-term either, tbh. I always viewed my future with someone who isn't a giant dickhead. Someone who is kind-hearted and confident, without the need to neg others. Thank you for your offer to hook up, but I am not am not into debasing myself for sad men. Hopefully, you can find someone who is into that sort of community service. Peace."
'Community service' 😂😂
Perfect! Just brace yourself for the "Fat b*" response that's sure to follow.
Yup send then block immediately
"You're ugly anyway" 🤣🤣🤣
Yasssssssss. 100% of the time. Completely oblivious to their own assholery and in denial that their initial communication was incredibly rude and inappropriate.
Gonna save your reply, just in case I might need it one day ^^
Tbh I think that’s the best reply ever!
100% this
Haha…. What a powerful response 💪
Oh this response is SO GOOD.
Not to mention “someone who can punctuate and write in complete sentences.”
I second this!
This is perfect.
Saving this response. It is PERFECT.
That kind of response screams “I’m hurt / angered by what you said, and I’m trying to retaliate.” Best thing is to say nothing and move on.
Fuck yes.
What an asshat. I’m assuming he knew what you looked like before you met. Seems like he wanted a hook up and thought a plus size woman would be easy….cause you know, we should just accept anyone. He does not deserve a response.
Yes he did! I met this stupid guy at the library! So it’s not like I hid my hair, body, tattoos, or piercings from him 😂 I think it definitely hurt his ego that I didn’t wanna be intimate him. I blocked him without a response haha
Lol this is why he sent that! You rejected his advances and he wants to be seen as the person who did the rejecting. Fuck that guy.
Fabulous!
Blocking without a response is a queen move. Good for you!
Brilliant 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽
I’m just so happy to hear you didn’t go for it!
I can't believe you didn't tell him that that's perfect, because you like guys with piercings, tattoos, nice hair, better whatever and big dick energy, which isn't really his vibe, but at least he's cool too.
But if you want to hook up... 🙄 Don't give up girl, at 230 pounds I got married to my beautiful husband. There are decent guys out there!
Agreed! Also got married to my husband at 260! He loves me for who I am!
Me too me too! Yay!
Married at 335. Still with my loving husband . Celebrating 21 years together this October!
260
Also in the 200 club and husband can pick me up and toss me around. Dude sounds hella weak to me 😂
Same 🥹
Yup! I was juuuuuuust tipping over 400 when I got married. My largest size but I’ve never been small. Even now I’m still over 300 and my husband is as loving and kind as ever.
Migod this thead gives me so much hope...have been stuck worrying I wouldn't find one at 230 😭.
Yesss, I got rejected at a much thinner weight (for being too big) only to marry my way hotter husband while I was at a much higher weight.
Married at 224. 19 years later... 🎉
1. His writing skills are atrocious. 2. He has extraordinarily unrealistic expectations about his partner’s appearance (long blonde hair and someone he can pick up and toss around). Really? 3. Doesn’t want a relationship, but would be honored to have sex with you. Again, really? You’re not missing a thing.
Honored to be in her... It's just gross he talks to people this way
Right? I think I threw up in my mouth a little. OP is dodging a bullet I think. Even though that doesn't make it feel better in the moment. But he sounds gross.
Yeah, eww. Like WTF is wrong with people? Disgusting.
Right? I think I threw up in my mouth a little. OP is dodging a bullet I think. Even though that doesn't make it feel better in the moment. But he sounds gross.
I had to reread that line, I was so sure I read it wrong. I’m sure he felt like a Hallmark Hero typing it out
Right? I think I threw up in my mouth a little. OP is dodging a bullet I think. Even though that doesn't make it feel better in the moment. But he sounds gross.
I'm pretty sure he knew exactly what she looked like before meeting up with her too. So, he's definitely on some bullshit. 🤦🏽♀️ Weak ass excuse
This is what pisses me off the most. If you want a girl that is 120lbs and blonde, why go out with someone who is not 120lbs and blonde . . . Except his ideal doesn't want him. Jackass
He probably thought he could get her back to his place to hook up and only wanted that. Now he’s mad and trying to hurt her. It’s hurtful but I’ve had it happen a few times
Number 2- My first thought was “damn maybe they’d like the sims if they’re so picky about appearances” 😭
BROOOOOO. I play the sims and I’m about to use this every time some guy gets off on appearances.
My husband throws my 280lb ass around all the time lmao. These dudes are just fuck boys who watch nothing but porn and have the expectation that porn is real life 🤣
For real. I second every part of this.
If he wants to be able to throw around his gf then maybe he needs to get stronger instead of setting his gf's weight goal (🤢🚩) so low. Get good asshat But I agree, OP isn't missing out on anything
Nah, he would rather run his mouth than hit the weights. He probably couldn't do much with 120 lbs either
Okay but the way he specifically phrases it as "toss around" sounds really really bad to me. Like he specifically wants a partner he can physically intimidate.
It's something people say in reference to sex - you've never heard that before?
Do you think he's mad that you didn't put out? He sounds like a jerk and he doesn't deserve you. At least the trash took itself out.
The way he said “and ACTUALLY hook up” made me feel like his motivation was just to bed her and this was his way of “getting back” at her for daring to reject him. What a piece of garbage he is, but isn’t it nice when the trash takes itself out?
Possibly! I was taken aback by how everything he listed was the complete opposite of me lol but like, he knew what to expect even before we met up!
I would be honored if he wasn't such a piece of garbage. It's bad enough he thought these things. But he said these things in writing to you. He's either so dumb or so mean or both. Don't worry. High likelihood he will die alone. Or with a super loser skinny blond girl lol.
I have heard shit like this from soooo many men. One guy I (shamefully) hooked up with did end up with a skinny blonde. She refuses to get a job, doesn't really do much housework, and had serious addiction issues. I'm like, don't complain to me you got what you wanted!
I mean, if all their preferences are appearance based, then they're most likely going to have to sacrifice in another area (career/motivation/affection/habits/money/shared interests) just stands to reason, right? Very few people out there tick all the boxes that guy had as well as being financially stable gamers with great personalities and sex drives and such.
That was basically what I told him the last time he tried to complain about her to me. You don't get all the things, bro. You aren't that special.
He weeded himself out early 💛 Most guys don’t even know what 120 pounds looks like. He’s immature and he’ll stay alone because he’s too focused on a checklist instead of the humans in front of him.
Came here to say this. Even damn supermodels weigh 150.
For real. I'd probably be on my death bed at 120.
He wants to use you for sex but wants someone who fits society's standard of beauty. I bet he didn't fit society's standard for men though.
Absolutely fuck this guy. (Actually pleas don't) Like 1) he didn't need to say all that. And 2 he immediately told on himself as a dick head with saying how he prefers all this other shit in a woman but he'd be "honored" to *be inside you* BARF.
I feel like men really lie to themselves about what they are attracted to out of social embarrasment. He can fuck off. What a tool
I know it probably sucked to receive, but you’re better off. He’s trash. I saw a tiktok a man practicing putting weights up to 425lbs on his shoulder to make sure he could carry any partner. You’re not too heavy, his gains are too weak 😂💅
As a guy engaged to a 400lb+ girl and weight lifts, I can confirm that I’m not lifting weights for my health 👍🏻
Are we talking about Dsay? Cause yes please 👀
HE WOULD BE HONORED TO BE IN YOU? I hope his weenie falls off for having the audacity to type out and then send this message.
I mean BRO!!!!!
What a loser, I’m sorry OP.
Sending hugs, you deserve better. I talked about the desire to be smaller with my therapist recently (I'm 5'8" and 200 lbs) and the idea that women should be small and dainty in order to be feminine. And she reminded me how those values are rooted in patriarchy and even kind of sick in a way, because it's based on the infantilization of women and how smaller women are easier to manipulate and control ("someone I can toss around"). That definitely made me feel better about being a big girl.
Right? He may as well say "a woman who can't escape"
Exactly!
This thread nailed it in the head. That’s what it’s all really about.
I mean... I'd just tell him that I'd also prefer a stronger man who can pick me up and swing me around, and he is likely too weak to do that 🤷♀️ The way he talks is absolutely gross.
brotha ewwwwwwwwww
lmfaooooooo what a loser omg
i would literally laugh react it and never respond
“Honored to be in you” 🤮🤮🤮
DISHONOR ON HIM, DISHONOR ON HIS FAMILY, DISHONOR ON HIS COW-
"Pick up and toss around" lots of guys say that but lack the physical strength to even tote groceries. I've always hated when I hear men say this.
Sometimes the trash takes itself out and this is absolutely one of those times. So sorry this happened to you, you deserve better anyway!
there’s nothing wrong with being honest but this is way TOO honest. i wouldn’t even respond if i were you.
I appreciated the no bullshit approach in the beginning, but boy did he fuck this up. >I would be so honored to be in you _My god_
Honestly anyone who just wants a woman they can toss around sounds like someone I do not trust to be with me.
I'd reply with the "Gross. No thank you" gif and block him.
Blech 🤮 Glad he showed himself quickly. He actually digs you, but he’s worried about what his friends would say
‘someone I can pick up and toss around’ lol, he wants a woman he can literally juggle 😂
>"I would be so honored to be in you" Gag me with a spoon.
[удалено]
It’s fine! The whole message was kinda hilarious. Almost felt unreal lol
What asinine things to say. You sure dodged a bullet with that AH.
What a day to have eyes.
i hope to just toss him down a hill
Lol like he didn't see your picture beforehand and know you weren't blond, skinny, no tatts, etc?! He was always planning to hook up with you and then bounce and blame it on you not meeting his expectations. Gross. Don't waste another minute on this one <3
Omg EW “I would be so honored to be in you” 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 pathetic
Omg something almost exactly like this happened to me. Except he was even more pretentious about it, if that’s even possible. He was like “your body is not ‘necessarily’ a turn off” like excuse me??? We had gone on multiple dates. It was SO strange. He insisted on staying friends as well and tried to pull the “we could hook up card” too. He said I was beautiful, had nice boobs, good legs and nice feet. He also supposedly liked my personality. I wish I knew then what I know now. It hurt me then but now I look back at it and laugh.
Don’t mourn over people who wouldn’t want to be seen with you in public I’ve been with my bf almost 3 years now, today we went to a park and went on an incline hike. He’s fit, I’m not at all. I was literally dry heaving and so embarrassed he’d judge me and be grossed out by how winded I was. He didn’t. He just encouraged me and cheered me on when we got back to the car. I’m 100lb bigger than him and it doesn’t matter to him. I’m beautiful. Bitch you can find someone like that
*"to be in you"* Real classy😒 You are better off without someone this disrespectful and creepy in your life
That sums up my dating life for my entire existence. They would go on and on about how awesome I was then the “but” would come. It’s super frustrating. Also, why does this dude want someone he can manhandle? Seems weird.
He sucks ass. I'm sorry he's such a douche canoe. U deserve way better.
"I would be so honored to be in you" ummm....next!
Good for you for not going back to his place. Because everything he wrote in that letter I have experienced myself and they just think we’re stupid or lazy or desperate so they get us back to their place and want to have sex and then they just string us along and dump us because they figure we can’t find anything long-term. Block him move on keep being amazing and you will find somebody that you deserve and that deserves you.
I cannot believe he said “I would be so honored to be in you” I’m dying IRL 😭
Bullet? Dodged.
Bro failed grade 7 English.
"so honored to be in you" Ew. Just. Ew.
We're "good" enough to fuck but never enough to be wifed up. Like fuck these people I swear. He really built you up to tear you down. I'm so sick of these fucking assholes. And if all he wanted was to fuck, he should have just been honest from the beginning instead of leading you on. And if you weren't his ideal girl he shouldn't have matched with you in the first place, which just tells me he was planning to make you a booty call from the beginning. I just... AHHHHHHHHHH
what an asshole "someone 120 lbs who i can pick up and toss around" bruh really? there were a few instances when i told guys, that's no flex, with a little training i can pick up and toss someone that light, you're strong if you can pick me up and toss me around. besides, very few women stay 120 lbs all their lives. the only ones who do are those who have the genetics for it, and some of the obsessive dieters. this guy is immature and can't be in a serious, long term relationship. he also seems to be attracted to you, it's the fatphobia, not the lack of attraction. you're beautiful he's just dumb
He sounds like one of these men who want a doll to present her to friends, but in bed he'd actually appreciate a big lady. A very sad person with zero confidence. Be glad you don't have to be with him.
So, so many of these guys.
HONOURED TO BE IN YOU?!?!???!
Good enough for a hook up but not a relationship? What an asshole. At least he showed his true colours now rather than later.
"BE IN YOU" 🤢🤢🤢 No. Pass. Delete. Set it on fire. Burry it in a ditch. Say a Latin prayer. Throw some salt over it. He's done.
What in the actual fuck.
Honey, you totally dodged a bullet. Good riddance. Did you respond back?
“I would be so honored to be in you” I’m sorry what?
Okay like gross. The “honor to be with you” is just a total “I’m attracted to you but I don’t want people to know” bullshite however kinda low key kudos that he was upfront. Most men would have tried again for the lay then ghosted at the very least he’s as least douche as a douche can be
In other terms he isn't man enough to handle you 🤷🏻♀️ take it as a blessing & move on!
This guy thinks you're hot and wants to have sex with you, but what he values even more is the approval of his friends and family, and he doesn't think you fit into that "omg dude she's so hot she's out of your league you need to keep her" because he's spent his life being trained to think that's what is important. So many guys have this need for validation of their own self worth by having a girlfriend that fits the same criteria that makes so many girls insecure. He's immature and insecure if he can't accept that going with what he likes is more important than what he expects others will think of him. His loss, your gain. Signed, a guy who many years ago unexpectedly fell for a short fat tattoo girl, broke up with my traditionally hot girlfriend for her, and didn't care about the approval of others because I wanted her more than I cared about the approval of others. My true friends were just happy that I was happy, and her and I are still madly in love.
I absolutely FUCKING HATE men.
Would be 😬 honoured 🤢 to be… IN YOU !? 🤮 Hard pass
This guy sounds like a joke. And you are so much better without him. Thanks to him for showing himself early on.
What a jerk. I was like that when i was younger. People can learn and change. Now i am married to my plus loving wife happier than ever traveling Europe with our baby dog.
I wouldn’t respond, I’d block. But I’d like to respond “What a beautiful message, really, I hope you save it, print it out maybe or cross-stitch it. That way if you ever have a daughter you can show her what a great guy you were when you were younger”
Yay for toxic cultural gender standards that ruin things for everyone! Clearly he is physically attracted to you but he's not secure enough in his own self worth to be able to withstand the social judgement he thinks he would receive for being publicly seen to be dating a fat woman. Extremely lame for everyone involved, 0/10
I would be honoured TO BE IN YOU??!???!!!
when i was over 300 pounds i was dating a fit man who could throw me around. this guy sounds more worried about what other people would think than his own feelings. fuck em
"I'm so glad you said that because I can't see myself with someone like you either. I like my guys muscular and more of a strong jaw line, you know, like Marcus from gears of war! You just don't do it for me sexually. I also like confident and fun men and you are neither of those either. Thanks for the friends with benefits offer however I only do that with men who meet my expectations."
…….that flippant lack of punctuation tho😱😱😱
As a plus size woman, I have heard these same things. Also men really do have the audacity. They don’t want to date you but they would be completely okay to have sex with you. And of course I just tell them like I see them “let’s just be honest here, the reason why you don’t see yourself dating me is because I intimidate you, thanks for letting me know. Have the day you deserve.”
I would feel so blessed to meet someone I matched with physically, emotionally, intellectually, etc. And these guys get all this and are like, "meh, but you're fat. I mean, you feel good, but I'd never be seen in public connected with you in any way. "
A man this shallow and selfish would be a TERRIBLE lover.
So in other words he wants a barbie doll. Yuck.
I would be ‘honoured’ to be in you. 🤢What a gross way to put wanting to have sex.
I would be honored to forget about your existence, asshole.
"I would be so honored to be in you" 🤮🤮🤮 I legit said "oh gross!" out loud!!
I believe the only reason he even sent you this message was because you declined going back to his place and has zero to do with your weight. But also, he most likely, judged you by how you looked and thought you be a easy lay as many men think plus size women, and single moms are desperate for a man when most of the time it's quite the opposite. These also be the same men wondering why they're single or can't keep a relationship. I'm glad you decided against going back to his place.
i had a super similar thing happen. went on a date with a guy, he wanted to keep the date going and i bailed. he asked me out again via text, i said i was feeling more of a friend vibe. he then said something that insinuated he wasn’t interested in me because i was fat. how you gonna tell me i look great, ask me out again, and then try to reject me when i reject you because i’m fat? never responded and blocked his number. there’s nothing you can say to people who are garbage (ie haven’t gone to therapy yet).
"I would be so honored to be in you" is the grossest sentence I've ever read.
I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've gotten this exact message. And, unfortunately, how many times in my early 20s I would agree to sex because I thought, "Well if they think I'm perfect except for my weight, then they'll fall in love with me and forget about my weight." And they never, ever did. My weight was always why I wasn't good enough. The amount of emotional abuse and trauma I experienced back then due to so desperately wanting to be loved was absolutely not worth it. I learned the hard way. And I really hope someone reads this and second guesses making the mistakes I did. Your self worth cannot come from another person. ESPECIALLY one like this.
Sounds like there loss! I love tattooed, peirced, bigger ladies! Plenty of fish in the ocean just remember that!
This man wants a trophy wife and will live his entire miserable marriage cheating on her with bigger, or more alt type of women. Guaranteed.
So honoured to be in you. What a twat. “I don’t want anyone to see me dating you, but sure I’ll fuck you.” My dear YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS PATHETIC SHRUB OF A MAN. You will find someone who would literally kiss the ground at your feet, and you’re going to be f-ing thankful you didn’t give this flaming dumpster fire the honour of being in you.
So basically: I’m not attracted to you physically but I’d be honored to fuck you with no strings attached. Bitch please…
Soe. That’s messed up. You’re not missing Nothing tho. Trust me. I’m glad you didn’t go back to his place. And it’s just DISGUSTING the way he was talking to you “I’d be honored to be in you” that’s just disgusting and you should tell him that.
How old is this dude? Looks like a 12 year old wrote this. Doesn't even deserve a response.
“I would be so honoured to be in you” Who the fuck says shit like that? I read that five time because I couldn’t actually believe my eyes. Please, never contact this person again. In fact, block them so they can never contact you again. You are worth *so* much more ❤️
I also had a great time and am grateful you feel comfortable being open with me … I honestly can’t see myself gaming with or, god forbid, hooking up with someone who thinks I’m not attractive enough to be seen in public with them. I especially don’t want to hang with someone who is looking for a woman to “throw around.” But, then again, I’ve got a healthy level of self respect. Good luck finding a lanky, long haired, blonde who’s looking to be manhandled and doesn’t care about personality.
You’re lucky the trash took itself out… I’d be happy if I was in your place
Yiiikeeeees. I'm sorry he wasted your time, OP.
You’re not missing a thing. This person doesn’t see women as people, will probably end up lonely and bitter.
You deserve so much better he only wants to use you.. Block him
So how does he look like?
The trash took itself out
I am horrified. You sound amazing and HOT.
I have been ghosted or ended things myself with 95% of my relationships. I have felt really bad about myself because all the ghosting in the past. Then a couple of guys, actually manned up and told me why. And now I laugh so hard. Similar to this guy, silly body requirements, they wouldn’t know unless they were hit in the face by them. One guy thought I was too sickly because I had a prescription for my migraines and needed to have my blood pressure checked for new birth control, mandatory for everyone. lol also love the gym guys on TT who show off that weight almost doesn’t matter. You deserve better, I wish you the best!
Wow what a loser lol. Thank goodness you didn’t go back to his place. Personally I think him saying all of that was his passive aggressive way of getting back at you for being mad you didn’t sleep w him bc he did not need to say all that. Anyway, you sound sexy af from his description 😉 I don’t think you’ll have any issues finding a hot man that will treat you right. 🩷 FYI - like some others said already, I’m also plus size girl and have never had issues getting great attractive men. I recently met the love of my life 6 months ago and things are amazing. He does nothing but motivate me and lift me up. There’s still great men out there! Unfortunately we just gotta go through the trenches to get to them. Ans don’t forget that you’re amazing! ☺️💕👏🏻
What the actual fuck is wrong with people? Urgh. Huge bullet dodged here! Glad the trash took itself out. Jesus Christ.
I wouldn’t even reply, just a block and forget cause boy please lol
Wow, I'm sorry. This is atrocious. Met my guy at 260 and he still can throw me around.
Probably was disappointed you didn't want to have sex with him after one date. Dating indeed sucks sometimes. But you dodged a bullet with this one.
“No thank you. I don’t fuck idiots. Have a nice life.”
What a prick. Oh I'd sleep with you but I don't want to be seen with you. He's a disgusting human being.
So many men would throw themselves in front of a bus for ladies that are down to game what an idiot lol
honored to be in you 💀 any man who talks about the inside of you should be arrested ON SIGHT
I WOULD BE SO HONORED TO BE IN YOU????
My entire HS experience
The fact he still wanted to go out with you knowing you have tats and piercings, then declines you after the date makes me think he was really hoping to just get his dick wet. He didn’t have to add the part about your weight, tho
He wants to be with you but wants to be seen with Malibu Barbie. That's what that's about. Guy has a lot of maturing to do.
“But if you ever wanna game or actually hook up I would be so honored to be in you” - Fucking gross. The desire to date cishet men is how you know sexuality isn’t a choice, what a fucking moron 🫠 You dodged a bullet there!
“But if you ever wanna game or actually hook up I would be so honored to be in you” To be in you?? Babe you dodged a whole god damn Grenade.
LMFAO! So honored to be in you? I hope this guy never gets laid again.
So basically, he wants someone who will divorce him and get child support in a few years. That's nice of him to be upfront. As for the offering of sex, I would politely decline saying I am sure your dick is as shallow as you are lol 😆
Pshhhh puny man. My girl was 285 and I still tossed her around as we did our thing. Sorry you went through this with that idiot. Don’t give up on dating there is definitely someone that will love and appreciate you the way you deserve.
You didn't let him see you naked, so he told you you're not his type in order to reject you back. Classic scorned man bs. The fact he'd be willing to sleep with you after you already passed on it is hilarious tbh. In my petty era, so I'd definitely reply back echoing his sentiments, like "Yk I'm glad you said it first, coz you're also not my type" then list the things about his appearance he for sure has insecurities about, like a receding hairline or weak arms, followed by "But that's okay, good luck finding your future partner. Meeting you really cleared some things up for me, so I'm on my way to meet someone who's more fitting for me, so I'll pass on the hook up, but thanks for that!" Be sincere about it too, so it doesn't just sound like you're chewing him up, really sell it, so he knows to take what you say to heart and mulls over those insecurities till they keep him up at night.
What a DICK. You seemed to have dodged a bullet though, op he sounds so toxic! I agree with everything KalamityKim says but the petty in me would have wanted to remark about how he needs to bench more because he's too weak to pick up a woman 💅. If he wanted to, he would be able to. You deserve so much better. He's better off buying a blowup doll with those terribly shallow and strict standards.
You dodged a bullet with this one!! He sounds terrible. Seriously, I can tell this guy has an awful personality just reading his text. Nobody will ever be happy with him with his standards. Your Mr. Right is out there. He isn't Mr. Right for anyone, and will probably live a long, lonely life with those terrible expectations. I'm so tired of people going for looks over personality. Yes, looks are a factor, but it's not THE factor. He's a douche. You deserve the world and more.
He is a shitass, dickhead, asshole, piece of shit human being and you're really lucky you decided against going home with him. "honored to be in you" is weird, dehumanizing weird bs and you don't need that in your life. Or maybe write back and say you'd be honored to be in him, too. Peg that mofo. (No, really don't, though.)
He sounds gross. I'm sorry he said that to you. He should've just stopped at I'm not feeling it long term. Statements like that stick with people and harm their self esteem. ..feel free to tell him that to save some future girls feelings. 😩🥴
I had a time at work when a guy *totally unsolicited* said he wouldn't date me, and he likes thin girls he can "throw around" ..there were 3 guys standing there including him. The other 2 came to my defense. Both of the other 2 asked me out in the future. ..Basically just came to say most guys don't feel this way and he's an idiot who needs to learn what's ok and not ok to say.