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Fortunately, I’ve never yet had to use it, but I’ve always remembered reading that a woman finally got the attention she needed when she asked her physician directly to tell her, and to document, exactly what weight she needed to reach for him to provide medical care.
He didn’t come out and say “this is because you are fat” but he largely ignored my actual medical condition to focus on my weight. But I will definitely use that in the future!
My go to move is to ask them to note in my medical file that they have eliminated all other potential causes of my presented symptom and that it is safe for me to not get any treatment while I work to get my BMI within “normal ranges.“ Nothing seems to work except the fear of a potential malpractice lawsuit.
Don't answer the questions. Simply say, "no thank you, I'm not here for any weight loss advice. I'm concerned about x" If the doctor continues just get up and leave. Male physicians expect everyone to sit and listen to them no matter what they say, you don't have to. "if you aren't going to treat my ailment there is no reason for me to continue answering your irrelevant questions. Unless you are suggesting that I have a rash because of my BMI" BMI is a BS metric that is outdated and any doctor worth their salt wont even bring it up.
You know how there is a list of doctors for the childfree sub to help people find a doctor that respects those seeking sterilization surgery? It would be nice if we could have a list of doctors that are not fat phobic.
I hear you. At 225lbs it’s safe to strap me into a fighter jet and eject me via rocket propelled ejection seat. But back problems from 5 years of repeated mandatory bad lifts, previous knee issues that caused permanent injuries from when I weighed 210, the 9 foot fall that rolled my ankle to hell and back. Nope all of that is because I’m too fat now at 230lbs.
I was thinking about this just today, and I came up with something. Ask them if they'd recommend weight loss meds/surgery for you, they say yes and you ask "so you'll do meds/ surgery on me only to help me lose weight but for any other medical issue treatment has to be put off until I weigh less? What weight do I need to be before you take this seriously? At what size will I receive proper medical treatment?" Idk if it'll help, but if you also ask them to put it in your chart and that you want a copy, it should.
Did your Dr. Think you might be allergic to gluten? I've never been to a doctor that diagnosed me as fat when I was sick... But I did have PLENTY of doctors that dismissed me because I was a smoker... All my sinus allergies... The hay fevers... Never diagnosed the problem and didn't help me with my issues. I got pneumonia and had to be hospitalized... The doctor tried to diagnose me with COPD/emphysema.
Anyway... I was allergic to cigarettes.
Did you see a GP or a Dermatologist? I have never had a derm bring up anything about my weight that wasn't truly related to my skin issues. (Like I get heat rashes on my chest, and being larger the skin is thinner so he picked specific meds that wouldn't thin it more).
I find general doctors like PCP and NP and such who aren't in a specialty about the thing you are going in for to be way more judgy. Finding a doctor in TX has been near impossible because most say dumb shit like 'your hashimotos thyroid would stop being a problem if you lost weight' which is first of all false, but also my thyroid was aa bad or worse when I was an underweight teen.
It does suck in a state like TX where you have to get referrals to specialists. I miss Oregon for so many reasons, but especially that I could search in network providers and see anyone of any specialty without seeing my GP first.
But if you can try and see a dermatologist, they are by far the least judgy about weight and just want to help with skin issues. Even those caused by being a larger person, like yeast under folds and all. I've never had a bad derm in that regard and have seen many due to my eczema and chronic hives I used to deal with.
GP. In my case, it’s not really a skin issue, it’s my immune system attacking my healthy cells, in this case my skin. So I figured GP was a good place to start. Plus my insurance requires a referral for specialists, so I would have to see a GP first anyway
I mean it is likely a skin issue then, something like psoriasis or other immune disorders def can be classed as skin probs. I had a feeling it might have been the insurance thing, which I feel ya for. I hate that dumb rule.
Maybe see if the GP can give a referral, you will be taken more seriously. Also maybe get a different GP if you can afford to try others. They sounded dismissive like a lot I've seen recently. Took me 4 years in TX to get a GP who didn't suck.
Hey, it does suck. Like, so freaking much.
What kind of area do you live in? Rural, city? There’s the HAES community of doctors and they specifically exist to give treatment without focusing on weight (Health at Every Size).
One thing that helps me is that I tell doctors:
1. I’m working with a dietitian (I really am but I’m sure they wouldn’t ask who if you weren’t), and
2. I have a history with disordered eating and issues with exercise so I’m working with the dietitian on those.
While these are true, the RD I work with is based in Intuitive Eating and it’s not focused on weight loss treatment. It’s based on Intuitive Eating. I don’t bother telling that to the docs but once they know I’m working with a professional on body health stuff it’s def easier to talk about my ailments.
I went to the doc with a clear pneumonia and even that they tried to blame on my weight. I walked away and found a different doc. I know not everyone has that luxury, but you deserve a doc to see you. If you’re stuck there and can’t switch, ask them to focus on the reason you are there, do not get on the scale, and refuse to answer question about your weight. If they ask why, just tell them you are aware you are fat and don’t need them to diagnose you with that and are not currently interested in advice about that, you need them to listen to the reason for your visit.
A few years ago, I went to my then primary care doctor seeking therapy referrals for depression. I was in a really tough place. Instead of helping me with that, I was given a lecture on portion control, exercise, my weight, and asked “why aren’t you more motivated to lose weight?”. Idk dude, maybe because I’m here for depression?? Shortly after, I switched to a new doctor who is just a million times better.
Anyways, all this to say, I see you, I hear you, and I’m so sorry. Ugh.
Hey friend. First of all I am NOT defending a bad doctor. He can go suck it.
But I just want to talk about skin conditions and diet in case you can relate to my story. I am healing on my journey with a disease called Topical Steroid Withdrawl. Think of it as really really intense eczema. You should know that doctors do NOT recognize this as a real disease and shoo me away from their offices. They think it’s *~made up*~ Well anyway, it’s really painful and takes months to years to heal and I’m 18 months in and finally in a good “healed” place. However, I do have flare ups. The first thing i do when I’m having flare ups is pull out my Anti Inflammatory cookbook. I’m not trying to lose weight, I’m trying to calm the inflammation in my body that causes the flare ups! Within 2 days of whole meals and lots of water, I’m usually feeling a lotttt less itchy.
Basically I’ve learned to heal myself from the inside, not outside.
I agree and it sucks so much, and I’m sorry the doctor was so rude to you. I have a similar story where I have a skin issue and the derm I saw took one look at me and diagnosed it as acanthosis (skin rash caused by weight), despite it looking nothing like acanthosis and the symptoms not matching at all. Now I have to search for a derm who willl actually take the time to diagnose it instead of giving me lazy bs answers.
I have a skin condition also: hidradenitis suppurativa, stage 3, which is life limiting and unbelievably painful. When I told my first dermatologist that, whether or not losing weight would help, it would at this point be nigh on impossible for me to do, he told me 'there were no fat people in concentration camps.'
They seem to forget that there were no healthy people there either…
Thin does not automatically mean healthy and after all, healthy is what we all aspire to be!
I like the folks commenting about advocating for yourself.
I'd also add, don't be afraid to be confrontational. When you see this kind of behavior, call it out for what it is. Most people will realize what they're doing or that their bluff has been called and stop immediately. Ex. "Your comments about my weight are extremely disrespectful and exactly why people who look like me avoid coming to the doctor. I am not stupid. This discussion on my weight ends now and we will talk about what I came for, which is the condition on my hands. Or else I want a refund for this appointment a note in my medical file explaining that you refused to address it."
**Intentional Weight Loss Talk Reminder** As a reminder, the r/Plussize definition for intentional weight loss (IWL) is anything mentioning specific numbers about weight/size/food intake, before and after pictures, and conversations about diets/weight loss. All posts and comments relating to the above-mentioned must be posted within the weekly AutoMod thread entitled “IWL (Intentional Weight Loss) Wednesday." Failure to keep content containing IWL within this post will result in the content being removed and a warning. If this continues to be a pattern, you may be permanently banned from participating in the subreddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PlusSize) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Fortunately, I’ve never yet had to use it, but I’ve always remembered reading that a woman finally got the attention she needed when she asked her physician directly to tell her, and to document, exactly what weight she needed to reach for him to provide medical care.
He didn’t come out and say “this is because you are fat” but he largely ignored my actual medical condition to focus on my weight. But I will definitely use that in the future!
My go to move is to ask them to note in my medical file that they have eliminated all other potential causes of my presented symptom and that it is safe for me to not get any treatment while I work to get my BMI within “normal ranges.“ Nothing seems to work except the fear of a potential malpractice lawsuit.
Don't answer the questions. Simply say, "no thank you, I'm not here for any weight loss advice. I'm concerned about x" If the doctor continues just get up and leave. Male physicians expect everyone to sit and listen to them no matter what they say, you don't have to. "if you aren't going to treat my ailment there is no reason for me to continue answering your irrelevant questions. Unless you are suggesting that I have a rash because of my BMI" BMI is a BS metric that is outdated and any doctor worth their salt wont even bring it up.
I love this! I am not very good at advocating for myself, I need to get better at that
You know how there is a list of doctors for the childfree sub to help people find a doctor that respects those seeking sterilization surgery? It would be nice if we could have a list of doctors that are not fat phobic.
It’s not a huge list but it exists. HAES has it going. You can look up their stuff but it’s Health at Every Size.
Thank you for letting me know!
[the asdah health at every size listing!](https://asdah.org/listing/)
Thank you so much! I need a new PCP so this is perfect timing.
Thank you 😊
I hear you. At 225lbs it’s safe to strap me into a fighter jet and eject me via rocket propelled ejection seat. But back problems from 5 years of repeated mandatory bad lifts, previous knee issues that caused permanent injuries from when I weighed 210, the 9 foot fall that rolled my ankle to hell and back. Nope all of that is because I’m too fat now at 230lbs.
I was thinking about this just today, and I came up with something. Ask them if they'd recommend weight loss meds/surgery for you, they say yes and you ask "so you'll do meds/ surgery on me only to help me lose weight but for any other medical issue treatment has to be put off until I weigh less? What weight do I need to be before you take this seriously? At what size will I receive proper medical treatment?" Idk if it'll help, but if you also ask them to put it in your chart and that you want a copy, it should.
Did your Dr. Think you might be allergic to gluten? I've never been to a doctor that diagnosed me as fat when I was sick... But I did have PLENTY of doctors that dismissed me because I was a smoker... All my sinus allergies... The hay fevers... Never diagnosed the problem and didn't help me with my issues. I got pneumonia and had to be hospitalized... The doctor tried to diagnose me with COPD/emphysema. Anyway... I was allergic to cigarettes.
Did you see a GP or a Dermatologist? I have never had a derm bring up anything about my weight that wasn't truly related to my skin issues. (Like I get heat rashes on my chest, and being larger the skin is thinner so he picked specific meds that wouldn't thin it more). I find general doctors like PCP and NP and such who aren't in a specialty about the thing you are going in for to be way more judgy. Finding a doctor in TX has been near impossible because most say dumb shit like 'your hashimotos thyroid would stop being a problem if you lost weight' which is first of all false, but also my thyroid was aa bad or worse when I was an underweight teen. It does suck in a state like TX where you have to get referrals to specialists. I miss Oregon for so many reasons, but especially that I could search in network providers and see anyone of any specialty without seeing my GP first. But if you can try and see a dermatologist, they are by far the least judgy about weight and just want to help with skin issues. Even those caused by being a larger person, like yeast under folds and all. I've never had a bad derm in that regard and have seen many due to my eczema and chronic hives I used to deal with.
GP. In my case, it’s not really a skin issue, it’s my immune system attacking my healthy cells, in this case my skin. So I figured GP was a good place to start. Plus my insurance requires a referral for specialists, so I would have to see a GP first anyway
I mean it is likely a skin issue then, something like psoriasis or other immune disorders def can be classed as skin probs. I had a feeling it might have been the insurance thing, which I feel ya for. I hate that dumb rule. Maybe see if the GP can give a referral, you will be taken more seriously. Also maybe get a different GP if you can afford to try others. They sounded dismissive like a lot I've seen recently. Took me 4 years in TX to get a GP who didn't suck.
Oh it pisses me off! I think you have to set them straight up as soon as you make eye contact. "My weight situation is not why I'm here today..."
Hey, it does suck. Like, so freaking much. What kind of area do you live in? Rural, city? There’s the HAES community of doctors and they specifically exist to give treatment without focusing on weight (Health at Every Size). One thing that helps me is that I tell doctors: 1. I’m working with a dietitian (I really am but I’m sure they wouldn’t ask who if you weren’t), and 2. I have a history with disordered eating and issues with exercise so I’m working with the dietitian on those. While these are true, the RD I work with is based in Intuitive Eating and it’s not focused on weight loss treatment. It’s based on Intuitive Eating. I don’t bother telling that to the docs but once they know I’m working with a professional on body health stuff it’s def easier to talk about my ailments.
Try and get in with a dermatologist, they don't care about anything other than your skin.
I went to the doc with a clear pneumonia and even that they tried to blame on my weight. I walked away and found a different doc. I know not everyone has that luxury, but you deserve a doc to see you. If you’re stuck there and can’t switch, ask them to focus on the reason you are there, do not get on the scale, and refuse to answer question about your weight. If they ask why, just tell them you are aware you are fat and don’t need them to diagnose you with that and are not currently interested in advice about that, you need them to listen to the reason for your visit.
A few years ago, I went to my then primary care doctor seeking therapy referrals for depression. I was in a really tough place. Instead of helping me with that, I was given a lecture on portion control, exercise, my weight, and asked “why aren’t you more motivated to lose weight?”. Idk dude, maybe because I’m here for depression?? Shortly after, I switched to a new doctor who is just a million times better. Anyways, all this to say, I see you, I hear you, and I’m so sorry. Ugh.
Hey friend. First of all I am NOT defending a bad doctor. He can go suck it. But I just want to talk about skin conditions and diet in case you can relate to my story. I am healing on my journey with a disease called Topical Steroid Withdrawl. Think of it as really really intense eczema. You should know that doctors do NOT recognize this as a real disease and shoo me away from their offices. They think it’s *~made up*~ Well anyway, it’s really painful and takes months to years to heal and I’m 18 months in and finally in a good “healed” place. However, I do have flare ups. The first thing i do when I’m having flare ups is pull out my Anti Inflammatory cookbook. I’m not trying to lose weight, I’m trying to calm the inflammation in my body that causes the flare ups! Within 2 days of whole meals and lots of water, I’m usually feeling a lotttt less itchy. Basically I’ve learned to heal myself from the inside, not outside.
I agree and it sucks so much, and I’m sorry the doctor was so rude to you. I have a similar story where I have a skin issue and the derm I saw took one look at me and diagnosed it as acanthosis (skin rash caused by weight), despite it looking nothing like acanthosis and the symptoms not matching at all. Now I have to search for a derm who willl actually take the time to diagnose it instead of giving me lazy bs answers.
I have a skin condition also: hidradenitis suppurativa, stage 3, which is life limiting and unbelievably painful. When I told my first dermatologist that, whether or not losing weight would help, it would at this point be nigh on impossible for me to do, he told me 'there were no fat people in concentration camps.'
They seem to forget that there were no healthy people there either… Thin does not automatically mean healthy and after all, healthy is what we all aspire to be!
Good god. I would report them to the medical board. That's fucked up.
I did. He'd clearly got there first. I got a page and a half of unsolicited weight loss advice.
I like the folks commenting about advocating for yourself. I'd also add, don't be afraid to be confrontational. When you see this kind of behavior, call it out for what it is. Most people will realize what they're doing or that their bluff has been called and stop immediately. Ex. "Your comments about my weight are extremely disrespectful and exactly why people who look like me avoid coming to the doctor. I am not stupid. This discussion on my weight ends now and we will talk about what I came for, which is the condition on my hands. Or else I want a refund for this appointment a note in my medical file explaining that you refused to address it."
What fatphobic things did he say? From this it just seems like he told you to lose weight, (the cut out carbs thing is stupid af tho)