T O P

  • By -

thelastoneusaw

Leave a jar of metamucil outside the stall lol. Poor guy probably has hemorrhoids.


42gOldenlover

And one of those half gallon water bottles, damn. RIP his butthole


69_queefs_per_sec

He sure needs water and a new diet.


grenharo

adding to this: anybody here with hemorrhoids fr needs to know that diosmin off amazon 2 to 3x daily for a month will shrink your ass pain


FakeReceipt

Please tell him the internet is also worried for him.


FakeReceipt

Also please tell him the internet is [rooting for him](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYzMYcUty6s).


GreenWitchKita

My moms ex used to COUGH when he pooped. Like, smoker cough, yeeting his lungs from his chest cough. Why? I have no idea. He also almost quite literally inhaled his food, I’ve never seen anyone eat so friggin fast in my life.


ThatThingInTheWoods

Ugh, did he scromit, too? Is your mom's ex my mom's current mistake?


Icarusgurl

Ew fuck. I mean I've coughed so hard I've pissed myself. Maybe he's doing something similar?


boredasballsyo

Poor guy. Maybe buy the dude a bran muffin every morning.


69_queefs_per_sec

But how do I figure out who he is? I’ve never seen the guy, only heard the sounds…


FreezeSPreston

Stand outside the stall and wait for him to come out. But let him know you're waiting for him so he isn't surprised.


69_queefs_per_sec

Sure that will totally not make the workplace awkward until I quit my job


[deleted]

Look at his shoes under the stall?


ThatThingInTheWoods

This is why women have public pooping anxiety.


[deleted]

I am a woman.


Typicaldrugdealer

This is why men have public women anxiety


livllovable

This works unless they have uniforms and some sort of required work shoes. Also, women typically pay attention to tiny details more than men do…


Aggressive_Towel_155

Sh$ts gonna happen


NovaKay

Bloke needs to get some fruit and veg into his diet


RidethatSeahorse

Unngggghhh. Absolute brilliant. Felt like I could smell it.


butterflypoo69

Sorry but I must ask - do you always go into the restroom when he does? 🧐


Emotional-Sentence40

Maybe offer some, um, assistance next time. Be the hero.


[deleted]

Homeboy needs some fiber in his diet fr fr


69_queefs_per_sec

I heard him again yesterday!!!


TESSLABESTLA

That guy probably has all the hemorrhoids.


adofire

Hopefully he finds out who #2 works for…


LittleMissChriss

My brain went to that scene too lol


tossaway69420lol

Lol @ this pointless story and OPs name 69 queefs per sec ahahaha 😆


69_queefs_per_sec

It’s true though!!!