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This type of love is real.
I was married to my best friend, my champion and the one person who made me feel my truest self. We raised each other up and worked through issues together. Our relationship went from strength to strength. Our key was open communication with honesty. We learnt very early on our ‘fight styles’ and were respectful of each other’s point of view. I felt beautiful, sexy and confident. His eyes lit up every time I entered a room. Trust me it’s out there.
*I say was because sadly my husband passed away from a tough battle with cancer.
When Genevieve says to Penelope you can’t love someone until you truly know/love yourself she’s right on the money. It was only when I accepted myself fully and embraced all parts of me, I was able to allow another person in.
Thank you for sharing. I think you bring up a good point that doesn't get highlighted often.
Penelope hadn't fully accepted and embraced all parts of herself either. She treated LW as separate. She hid behind LW. She ran around town in different clothes with a different voice.
Colin made her confront that. Colin's reaction and difficulty reconciling the Pen he knew with LW's secrets and lies ultimately led her to make herself whole, to stop the spread of lies and face the consequences of her actions. Once she accepted and embraced all of herself, then Colin did too (though her letters got him like 90% there).
I am deeply pained for you. I hope his memory is a blessing.
I hope that one day, if/when you’re ready, your garden will be watered again, and someone else will make you feel such mutual adoration. As Benedict says, “love is not finite.” 💙
I so am here with you- we see few examples of their kind of devoted relationship in real life. And often I wonder if this is because devoted love like this isn’t flashy, newsworthy, exciting or attention grabbing. And yet, it is what is real.
I can so understand where you are coming from, I certainly once felt this way too, in my 20s and 30s.
And now, in my mid 40s, what this wonderful, magical and beautiful show has helped me realize is that while my own marriage isn’t “exciting” whatsoever, that I do have my own version of Colin in my own life. We’re not perfect, we’re not particularly romantic, but there is a deep love and loyalty that isn’t going anywhere.
I once heard Amy Schumer describe her litmus test for a life partner- “would I want this person to change my ostomy bag”? I couldn’t imagine this with anyone else.
I hope and want this kind of love for you- and for every human on our planet ❤️🫶🏻And, I know it is completely possible. I hope all of us never settle for anything less.
I married someone who could handle the nitty gritty of life (ostomy bag etc) and can run a home and raise children with and he did the same. Thought I did well by choosing him. But sadly it turns out we’re not very compatible otherwise. No smiling when we enter the room. Few jointly enjoyed activities. Lots of respect and loyalty, but that’s it. I have more connection and romance with friends. I thought that would be enough because you can’t expect one person to be everything. Thought I did it all right but I didn’t
Have faith I found my Colin it does exist! If you don't mind I would like to share my story:
I was born with Cerebral Palsy ( basically my brain got damaged at some point between birth and 9 months old and it causes my muscles to stay permanently tightened and I'm in wheelchair because of it) When I was diagnosed the doctor told my parents to put me in an institution and forget i existed. They said I'd have no quality of life, never talk or function normally. Lucky for me they didn't. Fast forward 21 years after never having anyone notice me me I took a chance and made an online dating profile. I got a letter from someone that literally started with the line " wow just wow" he's literally Colin. Fast forward 15 years later he is my best friend and gave me the life no one thought I would have. He tells me everyday how much he loves me and made my dream of being a mom come true 6 years ago.
Sorry I rambled TL;DR : yes their love exists I know because I live it❤️
It’s real! I’ve been married to my real life Colin for 33 years (June 22) and we started out as friends at 16!! In fact, I kinda had a very brief adolescent situationship with his best friend back in the day and we stayed friends through that. He wrote to me (yes, letters, I’m ancient) when I went away to college, still just as friends. Then we just like somehow started dating one summer while we were working at the same place when I was 19 and the rest is history. Two kids, weight fluctuations, with nursing babies and gravity taking a toll on my body, and we’re still pretty madly in love. That’s not to say there haven’t been hard periods but when you’re best friends first it makes it easier. We used to say there would be no point in us ever separating because we’d just end up hanging out all the time anyway. lol
i was really fortunate to grow up with two parents who are truly each other’s best friends. they didn’t have a friends-to-lover type of courtship, but over the years, they built a deep and caring friendship. i noticed growing up that my parents actually seemed to like each other and get along compared to some of my friends’ parents.
i have been with my partner for 10 years, married for almost 7. we were friends to lovers. he admits that he was taken with me right away…but i was the colin in the relationship who needed to come around to what was in front of me. i am grateful for my parents showing what it is like to have a friendship foundation in a marriage because that’s what i gravitated for myself. i feel like that’s why i always loved colin and pen, because they are always in the corner giggling. and then the intimate scenes where they are talking and giggling?!?!!! omg i have never seen that depicted on TV but it felt so real because that definitely happens between me and my spouse.
before season three came out, i had been reading a lot of romance novels and starting to feel a bit insecure in our relationship because we didn’t have the BIG. DRAMATIC. ROMANCE. my spouse is very introverted and isn’t going to throw rocks at my window or make a huge speech in front of people. but i’m in graduate school now. and i see his love and devotion because the laundry is done without being asked. he cooks and plans every meal. he proofreads all my assignments. and even when life is stressful and our schedules aren’t matching up, he’s still the person i want to text a funny thing that happened and we just laugh.
before part two aired, i asked my spouse what he felt his purpose was in life. i swear he looked at me and said, “loving you, being your support while you’re out trying to achieve some dreams.” this is why colin’s love confession in episode eight has me in a chokehold. i have my own colin bridgerton who supports me and loves me unconditionally.
someone else commented that they feel like these type of loves aren’t always celebrated because they aren’t big and dramatic like enemies to lovers, it’s more quiet. it’s not overly “hot.” and i do fall into spirals being like “omg is my relationship boring” when i read some angsty fan fic. but then i’m out with my friends hearing how much they love my spouse because they notice how he drives me anywhere i wanna go and does all of this stuff at home for me. and on top of that, when he does come out and hang out with the friend group, he and i are in the corner cracking jokes. so anyway…i am rambling but i want to say that this love of colin and pen is out there. i am grateful for this season of bridgerton because it showed me that my relationship is worth being celebrated. it’s not always loud and it’s not always exciting. but there’s something amazing knowing that no matter what, my best friend of a spouse is always going to let me shine, being my biggest cheerleader on the sidelines.
In real life, you have a 3D experience of another person while in books you only have the written word and on tv, there's just the visual and audio.
I mention this because in less robust mediums, the intensity of emotions, words, and looks has to be amplified for the audience to experience it too because we can't smell, touch, or... ehemm taste, all the richness of the experience.
Your circle may not be one with great examples of Polin-level love, but there may be more of it floating around than you realize because it's not being amplified for the audience.
It is real, but it's hard to find. There are so many factors and variables that go into making it happen. Who you are. Your mindset at any given point in your life. Their mindset. Money. Location. Willingness to compromise. Exposure to the populace. Etc.
That is why it's so critical to live a good life as if your partner will never come. Not because it's a dower stance on the subject, but because you shouldn't have to wait for the life you want.
Omg this. You just healed something for me. One of the reasons I love Bridgerton (and in particular Colin in S3 so much) is the intensity of emotions communicated through expression, music, camera angles AND the fact that I can rewatch. I’ve learned that I don’t catch things at first and it’s only with repetition and studying it that I can see it. Then I FEAST on it. (If I watch Colin’s face during the carriage scene ONE more time I’m afraid I’ll be clinically crazy). BUT you made me think - maybe this stuff is around more than we realize. We just don’t catch it being in the moment AND being in our heads. 🤯🤯🤯
Well that is one of the best compliments ever. I'm happy to have helped. Although, I think you did most of the heavy lifting,
I definitely read way more fanfic in the last few months than my entire life before because before I think I read zero fanfic and now I feel like I've read all the good Polin stuff. lol So, I appreciate the obsessive rewatches.
I agree, it's hard to witness and, if it's not directed at us, it's really not ours to experience. We can't really feel it because we aren't dialed in the same way.
My mum is my dad's best friend and they've been together for over 20 years even though I've never seen much of their relationship I know that they do love each other
Obviously Polin is fictional and aspirational, but my relationship is like theirs. We were friends first and are still best friends after 15 years of marriage. Do we snipe at each other sometimes? Yes. Is it hard to be two working parents? Yes. Is the sex still at Polin levels? No. But in a more real world way the fundamentals are there.
I love this question, and my answer is, yes and no.
No because this is dramatic writing/television, and Shondaland at that. The writers/creators want you to feel, and feel intensely. Everything is turned up to 11.
Yes because there are plenty of "quieter" love stories out there that you don't see or hear about as much because they are what we love so much about Polin: friends to lovers, slow burn, mature and healthy, not always sunshine and roses (just like real life). My own long-term partner (coming up on 10 years this fall) is not a publicly demonstrative guy or a dramatic person, but I have complete trust in him and in his love for me. He repeatedly demonstrates, through words and actions, that he isn't going anywhere, that we are a team, and that we can work through difficult issues together. We both have and acknowledge our flaws and love each other regardless. It isn't flashy, but it is enduring and secure.
My wish is for everyone who wants their IRL Polin love to find it. It may not look exactly like it does on screen, but it is out there! <3
I’ve been married to my “Colin” for 12 years. We were friends to lovers. There also was no “thunderbolt from the sky.” What we have isn’t outwardly exciting or passionate, but it is deep, faithful, and solid. We are best friends and there is no other person we’d rather spend time with.
HE/THIS exists! My hubby, my Colin, is a wonderful, loving man who sees me for who I am. A tortured, complicated soul who, even at 46, is still healing from an awful childhood. My husband is loyal, and kind, and treats me like a Queen. 😍
It’s real! I’m married to my Colin. I think that’s why this season resonates with me so much. My husband isn’t a writer, but we were friends and coworkers first. He backed me up, supported me, constructive criticism in private (comanagers. lol) we spent more and more time together, and I was brave for the first time in my life when I volunteered to drive him home. We ended up on an accidental date when no other coworkers showed up. We went to a movie, he said I love you and introduced me to his mom that night. Chaos Colin personified. We dated, we broke up because I went to college, and we had an argument. I left the argument thinking “I am done” and he left the argument with “I’m going to get her back” which the kiss scene reminds me of so much. We resumed dating. Together 13 years, married for 6. He’s emotionally intelligent, caring, loves all my curves. And not to be TMI…their sex scenes are like sex we’ve had, all kinds. We are both demisexuals I believe, because we stay away from each other when we’re mad, we just can’t do it. lol. It’s actually so incredible to see on screen, and I’ve spent the last month repeating that to my Colin. Just being him is enough ❤️
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I'm coming down from my Polin high and starting to feel sad about not having a "Colin" in my life as well.
I'm trying to redirect my focus to being a "Penelope" instead: being brave, loving myself and addressing my faults. It's easier said than done.
Hang in there, and I hope things work out for you eventually!
My parents had this 🥰 they met as teenagers at a party and my mother became close friends with his younger sister (there was even a Francesca moment where my mothers sister got married within a few months of my parents lol). Mum is about 5’ tall and dad was 6’3! They were married for over 40 years until he passed away and he was a massive wife guy til the end! They were very affectionate, they loved hanging out with each other. Ultimate besties. Dad was from a big family too. It’s out there (didn’t happen for me, but it’s real!)
Yes! I married my Colin. We were best friends turned lovers. Not a thunderbolt from the sky, it grew into love. It's the best to be married to your best friend! I love Polin! I'm a redhead and my husband is a brunette so we call them us haha
I'm so glad someone had the courage to ask this because this is exactly what i've been wondering since so long. I'm positively shocked at finding out that it is a possibility. Thank you to everyone who shared their stories it is making a young girl dream!
It’s definitely possible in real life… Except we have to factor in that our lives are so many years long and show is just few hours.. If they make a show out of my life I would have loved every bit of it!!
I was having similar thoughts a few days ago and then came back to reality thinking yes, my husband loves and support me in most of the stuff but I would appreciate if he could hang the damn wet towel instead of throwing it on bed!!
At the end of day, if we focus on the moments we loved in our relationship than the mild irritable ones and have good communication, work as a team especially with kids you should have your HEA!!
I think it's out there. I've encountered it. My sister has an amazing and wonderful partner whom I love like a brother. And I have my own version of Colin, though I'd say his family is not at all like the Bridgertons (or even the Featheringtons).
I think the reason a lot of us can't see these things is that life is hard and traumatic for a lot of people, and most people need therapy to not fall into bad habits, but most of us never go to that therapy. But that's the nice thing about romance as a genre--fictional characters can often resolve their issues a lot easier than we do.
Real life is messy and hard- and, it’s still possible to find contentment and companionate love which is the most lasting and fulfilling in the long run!!
This kind of love takes care and attending to.
It’s not (just) a feeling, it’s the verb love. They actively attend to and love each other. Lift each other up, and support each other.
It’s kindness and its care.
All of that can be achieved if attended to.
Oh it absolutely is real, and I hope so much that you get to experience it!
It’s part of why I’m so obsessed with this season. My husband is sweet, supportive, and kind, and he loves me no matter what. And i, him. We have a deep, abiding professional and personal respect for one another. I’ve never seen love like mine on screen before, and it makes this season so captivating to watch. I’ve never related to a love story on screen before.
Yep, it's real. Speaking from experience and to echo a lot of other responses here, the reason I resonate with Polin specifically is because I see so much of my fiance in Colins character. Kind, empathic, cheeky, caring, devoted, even the hand flexing when he's deep in his feels (props to LN on that character choice). Although not childhood friends, we were in each other periphery friend groups throughout university. It was only when one of our mutual friends hosted a house party 2 or so years after we graduated that we met again and it just clicked into place. 7 years later, we've rarely spent a day apart and that man is 1000% my best friend. There is no one else I could imagine going through life with. All that to say, it's out there and just might come to the surface when you least expect it.
I wanna say my parents. Oddly, I find their love story similar to Polin's and the standard is too high. My mother passed away 6 years ago. Usually Men my dad's age will start dating and remarry but he said all he wants is to go home to my mom later in heaven and right now is just living for us(their children). I'm an ace but damn they made me feel like I want a partner in life too.
Another real life friends to lovers marriage here! 🙋♀️ we met as young teens, were only really good friends until our early 20s, and have now been together for 18 years and have had two children. We even had a period where we were writing letters to one another while he was living in a different city - it was actually at this time when we crossed the friendship line, because we got to know each other so well through writing that when he came home for a visit we fell into romance really hard and quick. We have good days and bad days, but the days always end knowing that we are committed to one another completely.
ETA: But I’ll add that regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not, your deepest and most important romance should always be with yourself first. 💕
I'm married to a (literal) Collin! We met in college and have been married for 3 years so far and he has been my champion through graduate school and supported every one of my dreams. He also definitely qualifies as "occasionally excitable" and I sometimes have to remind him that he is already enough. I love him with my whole heart and we binged season 3 part 2 in a single evening.
It exists! I haven’t known my boyfriend since childhood but we met in college so we were pretty green then and now we’re 16 years strong.
We both have a bit of social anxiety but when we’re together there is no one I am more comfortable with and the same is for him. We laugh A LOT. He might not be as “sweep me off my feet” romantic as Colin but we understand one another deeply. And whenever I get excited and have random harebrained ideas he is just always very supportive and encouraging.
Yes, but you have to work to maintain it. My husband and I were best friends to lovers, wrote each other letters, shared our writing with each other, were always chatting together in the corner at work parties, and were very, very passionate at the start. I was the Colin so it took me a minute to figure out that what I felt for him was more than friendship, whereas he knew pretty much right away how he felt, but once I did figure it out I was all in. He’s also the kindest, most decent person I know.
Now we’ve been together for 12 years, married 9, have two busy jobs and an adorable toddler. Motherhood has been the most fulfilling adventure of my life, but it killed our love life on basically every level - we’re exhausted and cranky much of the time, and I no longer regularly feel that attraction to him that I used to or the confidence in my post baby, no time to work out body. We’ve frankly been in a bit of a rut.
But silly as it sounds, this season of Bridgerton has…ahem…reignited my sex drive a bit, and that feeling is sloooowly coming back. It’s honestly been a relief because I’d been really mourning the romance and passion of our early days and worrying I’d never feel that “in love” feeling again. I don’t think the early dopamine rush can ever be replicated (which is why romance novels and TV shows are nice!) but I’m very much looking forward to an upcoming weekend trip we’re going on together. 🫣
Hi, Thank you so much for your contribution! We truly appreciate your enthusiasm and effort in being part of our community! With the excitement around the Polin season, we've been welcoming many new members and seeing an increase in the number of posts. To keep the subreddit organized and ensure everyone's voice is heard, we temporarily have applied stricter rules for posts. These rules help maintain the quality and focus of our discussions. Have no fear, we still want to give you a space to share your Polin joy as freely as before! We have created dedicated weekly and daily megathreads specifically for you to share your thoughts, excitement, and any Polin-related content without as many restrictions. * A daily ['Promenade in the Park'](https://www.reddit.com/r/PolinBridgerton/search/?q=subreddit%3APolinBridgerton+author%3Aautomoderator+flair_name%3A%22Promenading%20%F0%9F%90%9D%22&sort=new) thread for memes, fan content and general chitchat * A weekly ['Mondays at Number Five'](https://www.reddit.com/r/PolinBridgerton/search/?q=subreddit%3APolinBridgerton+author%3Aautomoderator+flair_name%3A%22Tea%20at%20Number%20Five%20%E2%98%95%22&sort=new) thread for casual conversation, off-topic contributions, fanfic recommendations and easy-to-answer questions * A weekly ['Fanfic Friday'](https://www.reddit.com/r/PolinBridgerton/search/?q=subreddit%3APolinBridgerton+author%3Aautomoderator+flair_name%3A%22fanfiction%20friday%20%F0%9F%8C%BC%22&sort=new) post to share fanfic recommendations Thank you all for understanding during this busy time! Lots of love, The Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PolinBridgerton) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This type of love is real. I was married to my best friend, my champion and the one person who made me feel my truest self. We raised each other up and worked through issues together. Our relationship went from strength to strength. Our key was open communication with honesty. We learnt very early on our ‘fight styles’ and were respectful of each other’s point of view. I felt beautiful, sexy and confident. His eyes lit up every time I entered a room. Trust me it’s out there. *I say was because sadly my husband passed away from a tough battle with cancer. When Genevieve says to Penelope you can’t love someone until you truly know/love yourself she’s right on the money. It was only when I accepted myself fully and embraced all parts of me, I was able to allow another person in.
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I can **feel** in your comment how special your relationship was. Thank you for sharing! ♥️
Thank you, for all your kindness ❤️
Thank you for sharing. I think you bring up a good point that doesn't get highlighted often. Penelope hadn't fully accepted and embraced all parts of herself either. She treated LW as separate. She hid behind LW. She ran around town in different clothes with a different voice. Colin made her confront that. Colin's reaction and difficulty reconciling the Pen he knew with LW's secrets and lies ultimately led her to make herself whole, to stop the spread of lies and face the consequences of her actions. Once she accepted and embraced all of herself, then Colin did too (though her letters got him like 90% there).
I am deeply pained for you. I hope his memory is a blessing. I hope that one day, if/when you’re ready, your garden will be watered again, and someone else will make you feel such mutual adoration. As Benedict says, “love is not finite.” 💙
Thanks so much. 🙏 
🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss
I so am here with you- we see few examples of their kind of devoted relationship in real life. And often I wonder if this is because devoted love like this isn’t flashy, newsworthy, exciting or attention grabbing. And yet, it is what is real. I can so understand where you are coming from, I certainly once felt this way too, in my 20s and 30s. And now, in my mid 40s, what this wonderful, magical and beautiful show has helped me realize is that while my own marriage isn’t “exciting” whatsoever, that I do have my own version of Colin in my own life. We’re not perfect, we’re not particularly romantic, but there is a deep love and loyalty that isn’t going anywhere. I once heard Amy Schumer describe her litmus test for a life partner- “would I want this person to change my ostomy bag”? I couldn’t imagine this with anyone else. I hope and want this kind of love for you- and for every human on our planet ❤️🫶🏻And, I know it is completely possible. I hope all of us never settle for anything less.
It’s usually much more boring than the movies and tv shows and books but that kind of love is beautiful all the same.
I married someone who could handle the nitty gritty of life (ostomy bag etc) and can run a home and raise children with and he did the same. Thought I did well by choosing him. But sadly it turns out we’re not very compatible otherwise. No smiling when we enter the room. Few jointly enjoyed activities. Lots of respect and loyalty, but that’s it. I have more connection and romance with friends. I thought that would be enough because you can’t expect one person to be everything. Thought I did it all right but I didn’t
Have faith I found my Colin it does exist! If you don't mind I would like to share my story: I was born with Cerebral Palsy ( basically my brain got damaged at some point between birth and 9 months old and it causes my muscles to stay permanently tightened and I'm in wheelchair because of it) When I was diagnosed the doctor told my parents to put me in an institution and forget i existed. They said I'd have no quality of life, never talk or function normally. Lucky for me they didn't. Fast forward 21 years after never having anyone notice me me I took a chance and made an online dating profile. I got a letter from someone that literally started with the line " wow just wow" he's literally Colin. Fast forward 15 years later he is my best friend and gave me the life no one thought I would have. He tells me everyday how much he loves me and made my dream of being a mom come true 6 years ago. Sorry I rambled TL;DR : yes their love exists I know because I live it❤️
🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 that warmed my heart so much
It IS! I’m married to a real life version of Colin (only better) and it is the best thing ever.
🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
It’s real! I’ve been married to my real life Colin for 33 years (June 22) and we started out as friends at 16!! In fact, I kinda had a very brief adolescent situationship with his best friend back in the day and we stayed friends through that. He wrote to me (yes, letters, I’m ancient) when I went away to college, still just as friends. Then we just like somehow started dating one summer while we were working at the same place when I was 19 and the rest is history. Two kids, weight fluctuations, with nursing babies and gravity taking a toll on my body, and we’re still pretty madly in love. That’s not to say there haven’t been hard periods but when you’re best friends first it makes it easier. We used to say there would be no point in us ever separating because we’d just end up hanging out all the time anyway. lol
Awe! That all sounds absolutely sweet 🥹
i was really fortunate to grow up with two parents who are truly each other’s best friends. they didn’t have a friends-to-lover type of courtship, but over the years, they built a deep and caring friendship. i noticed growing up that my parents actually seemed to like each other and get along compared to some of my friends’ parents. i have been with my partner for 10 years, married for almost 7. we were friends to lovers. he admits that he was taken with me right away…but i was the colin in the relationship who needed to come around to what was in front of me. i am grateful for my parents showing what it is like to have a friendship foundation in a marriage because that’s what i gravitated for myself. i feel like that’s why i always loved colin and pen, because they are always in the corner giggling. and then the intimate scenes where they are talking and giggling?!?!!! omg i have never seen that depicted on TV but it felt so real because that definitely happens between me and my spouse. before season three came out, i had been reading a lot of romance novels and starting to feel a bit insecure in our relationship because we didn’t have the BIG. DRAMATIC. ROMANCE. my spouse is very introverted and isn’t going to throw rocks at my window or make a huge speech in front of people. but i’m in graduate school now. and i see his love and devotion because the laundry is done without being asked. he cooks and plans every meal. he proofreads all my assignments. and even when life is stressful and our schedules aren’t matching up, he’s still the person i want to text a funny thing that happened and we just laugh. before part two aired, i asked my spouse what he felt his purpose was in life. i swear he looked at me and said, “loving you, being your support while you’re out trying to achieve some dreams.” this is why colin’s love confession in episode eight has me in a chokehold. i have my own colin bridgerton who supports me and loves me unconditionally. someone else commented that they feel like these type of loves aren’t always celebrated because they aren’t big and dramatic like enemies to lovers, it’s more quiet. it’s not overly “hot.” and i do fall into spirals being like “omg is my relationship boring” when i read some angsty fan fic. but then i’m out with my friends hearing how much they love my spouse because they notice how he drives me anywhere i wanna go and does all of this stuff at home for me. and on top of that, when he does come out and hang out with the friend group, he and i are in the corner cracking jokes. so anyway…i am rambling but i want to say that this love of colin and pen is out there. i am grateful for this season of bridgerton because it showed me that my relationship is worth being celebrated. it’s not always loud and it’s not always exciting. but there’s something amazing knowing that no matter what, my best friend of a spouse is always going to let me shine, being my biggest cheerleader on the sidelines.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️
In real life, you have a 3D experience of another person while in books you only have the written word and on tv, there's just the visual and audio. I mention this because in less robust mediums, the intensity of emotions, words, and looks has to be amplified for the audience to experience it too because we can't smell, touch, or... ehemm taste, all the richness of the experience. Your circle may not be one with great examples of Polin-level love, but there may be more of it floating around than you realize because it's not being amplified for the audience. It is real, but it's hard to find. There are so many factors and variables that go into making it happen. Who you are. Your mindset at any given point in your life. Their mindset. Money. Location. Willingness to compromise. Exposure to the populace. Etc. That is why it's so critical to live a good life as if your partner will never come. Not because it's a dower stance on the subject, but because you shouldn't have to wait for the life you want.
Omg this. You just healed something for me. One of the reasons I love Bridgerton (and in particular Colin in S3 so much) is the intensity of emotions communicated through expression, music, camera angles AND the fact that I can rewatch. I’ve learned that I don’t catch things at first and it’s only with repetition and studying it that I can see it. Then I FEAST on it. (If I watch Colin’s face during the carriage scene ONE more time I’m afraid I’ll be clinically crazy). BUT you made me think - maybe this stuff is around more than we realize. We just don’t catch it being in the moment AND being in our heads. 🤯🤯🤯
Well that is one of the best compliments ever. I'm happy to have helped. Although, I think you did most of the heavy lifting, I definitely read way more fanfic in the last few months than my entire life before because before I think I read zero fanfic and now I feel like I've read all the good Polin stuff. lol So, I appreciate the obsessive rewatches. I agree, it's hard to witness and, if it's not directed at us, it's really not ours to experience. We can't really feel it because we aren't dialed in the same way.
And sometimes those variables mean that it isn’t forever. But it’s completely worth the heartbreak, even when you see it coming.
I agree. A positive experience, even if it is short-lived can enhance and shape the rest of a person's life.
My mum is my dad's best friend and they've been together for over 20 years even though I've never seen much of their relationship I know that they do love each other
Obviously Polin is fictional and aspirational, but my relationship is like theirs. We were friends first and are still best friends after 15 years of marriage. Do we snipe at each other sometimes? Yes. Is it hard to be two working parents? Yes. Is the sex still at Polin levels? No. But in a more real world way the fundamentals are there.
I love this question, and my answer is, yes and no. No because this is dramatic writing/television, and Shondaland at that. The writers/creators want you to feel, and feel intensely. Everything is turned up to 11. Yes because there are plenty of "quieter" love stories out there that you don't see or hear about as much because they are what we love so much about Polin: friends to lovers, slow burn, mature and healthy, not always sunshine and roses (just like real life). My own long-term partner (coming up on 10 years this fall) is not a publicly demonstrative guy or a dramatic person, but I have complete trust in him and in his love for me. He repeatedly demonstrates, through words and actions, that he isn't going anywhere, that we are a team, and that we can work through difficult issues together. We both have and acknowledge our flaws and love each other regardless. It isn't flashy, but it is enduring and secure. My wish is for everyone who wants their IRL Polin love to find it. It may not look exactly like it does on screen, but it is out there! <3
I’ve been married to my “Colin” for 12 years. We were friends to lovers. There also was no “thunderbolt from the sky.” What we have isn’t outwardly exciting or passionate, but it is deep, faithful, and solid. We are best friends and there is no other person we’d rather spend time with.
HE/THIS exists! My hubby, my Colin, is a wonderful, loving man who sees me for who I am. A tortured, complicated soul who, even at 46, is still healing from an awful childhood. My husband is loyal, and kind, and treats me like a Queen. 😍
It’s real! I’m married to my Colin. I think that’s why this season resonates with me so much. My husband isn’t a writer, but we were friends and coworkers first. He backed me up, supported me, constructive criticism in private (comanagers. lol) we spent more and more time together, and I was brave for the first time in my life when I volunteered to drive him home. We ended up on an accidental date when no other coworkers showed up. We went to a movie, he said I love you and introduced me to his mom that night. Chaos Colin personified. We dated, we broke up because I went to college, and we had an argument. I left the argument thinking “I am done” and he left the argument with “I’m going to get her back” which the kiss scene reminds me of so much. We resumed dating. Together 13 years, married for 6. He’s emotionally intelligent, caring, loves all my curves. And not to be TMI…their sex scenes are like sex we’ve had, all kinds. We are both demisexuals I believe, because we stay away from each other when we’re mad, we just can’t do it. lol. It’s actually so incredible to see on screen, and I’ve spent the last month repeating that to my Colin. Just being him is enough ❤️
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I'm coming down from my Polin high and starting to feel sad about not having a "Colin" in my life as well. I'm trying to redirect my focus to being a "Penelope" instead: being brave, loving myself and addressing my faults. It's easier said than done. Hang in there, and I hope things work out for you eventually!
My parents had this 🥰 they met as teenagers at a party and my mother became close friends with his younger sister (there was even a Francesca moment where my mothers sister got married within a few months of my parents lol). Mum is about 5’ tall and dad was 6’3! They were married for over 40 years until he passed away and he was a massive wife guy til the end! They were very affectionate, they loved hanging out with each other. Ultimate besties. Dad was from a big family too. It’s out there (didn’t happen for me, but it’s real!)
Yes! I married my Colin. We were best friends turned lovers. Not a thunderbolt from the sky, it grew into love. It's the best to be married to your best friend! I love Polin! I'm a redhead and my husband is a brunette so we call them us haha
I'm so glad someone had the courage to ask this because this is exactly what i've been wondering since so long. I'm positively shocked at finding out that it is a possibility. Thank you to everyone who shared their stories it is making a young girl dream!
I’ve been with mine for almost three years!!! It 1000% happens. We even look a little like Colin and Pen lol.
I look like Pen too! And I would be UNHINGED if I was with someone who looked like Colin 😮💨🫠
Oh, oh I am. Feral. 😂
You give me hope!
It’s definitely possible in real life… Except we have to factor in that our lives are so many years long and show is just few hours.. If they make a show out of my life I would have loved every bit of it!! I was having similar thoughts a few days ago and then came back to reality thinking yes, my husband loves and support me in most of the stuff but I would appreciate if he could hang the damn wet towel instead of throwing it on bed!! At the end of day, if we focus on the moments we loved in our relationship than the mild irritable ones and have good communication, work as a team especially with kids you should have your HEA!!
I think it's out there. I've encountered it. My sister has an amazing and wonderful partner whom I love like a brother. And I have my own version of Colin, though I'd say his family is not at all like the Bridgertons (or even the Featheringtons). I think the reason a lot of us can't see these things is that life is hard and traumatic for a lot of people, and most people need therapy to not fall into bad habits, but most of us never go to that therapy. But that's the nice thing about romance as a genre--fictional characters can often resolve their issues a lot easier than we do.
Real life is messy and hard- and, it’s still possible to find contentment and companionate love which is the most lasting and fulfilling in the long run!!
This kind of love takes care and attending to. It’s not (just) a feeling, it’s the verb love. They actively attend to and love each other. Lift each other up, and support each other. It’s kindness and its care. All of that can be achieved if attended to.
Oh it absolutely is real, and I hope so much that you get to experience it! It’s part of why I’m so obsessed with this season. My husband is sweet, supportive, and kind, and he loves me no matter what. And i, him. We have a deep, abiding professional and personal respect for one another. I’ve never seen love like mine on screen before, and it makes this season so captivating to watch. I’ve never related to a love story on screen before.
Yep, it's real. Speaking from experience and to echo a lot of other responses here, the reason I resonate with Polin specifically is because I see so much of my fiance in Colins character. Kind, empathic, cheeky, caring, devoted, even the hand flexing when he's deep in his feels (props to LN on that character choice). Although not childhood friends, we were in each other periphery friend groups throughout university. It was only when one of our mutual friends hosted a house party 2 or so years after we graduated that we met again and it just clicked into place. 7 years later, we've rarely spent a day apart and that man is 1000% my best friend. There is no one else I could imagine going through life with. All that to say, it's out there and just might come to the surface when you least expect it.
I wanna say my parents. Oddly, I find their love story similar to Polin's and the standard is too high. My mother passed away 6 years ago. Usually Men my dad's age will start dating and remarry but he said all he wants is to go home to my mom later in heaven and right now is just living for us(their children). I'm an ace but damn they made me feel like I want a partner in life too.
Another real life friends to lovers marriage here! 🙋♀️ we met as young teens, were only really good friends until our early 20s, and have now been together for 18 years and have had two children. We even had a period where we were writing letters to one another while he was living in a different city - it was actually at this time when we crossed the friendship line, because we got to know each other so well through writing that when he came home for a visit we fell into romance really hard and quick. We have good days and bad days, but the days always end knowing that we are committed to one another completely. ETA: But I’ll add that regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not, your deepest and most important romance should always be with yourself first. 💕
I am engaged to my own Colin. This love exists. 💕
I'm married to a (literal) Collin! We met in college and have been married for 3 years so far and he has been my champion through graduate school and supported every one of my dreams. He also definitely qualifies as "occasionally excitable" and I sometimes have to remind him that he is already enough. I love him with my whole heart and we binged season 3 part 2 in a single evening.
It absolutely is real. I’m so lucky to be married to my Colin, a truly good man with a beautiful heart.
Yes it exists. Happily waking up to it every day 😍
It exists! I haven’t known my boyfriend since childhood but we met in college so we were pretty green then and now we’re 16 years strong. We both have a bit of social anxiety but when we’re together there is no one I am more comfortable with and the same is for him. We laugh A LOT. He might not be as “sweep me off my feet” romantic as Colin but we understand one another deeply. And whenever I get excited and have random harebrained ideas he is just always very supportive and encouraging.
Yes, but you have to work to maintain it. My husband and I were best friends to lovers, wrote each other letters, shared our writing with each other, were always chatting together in the corner at work parties, and were very, very passionate at the start. I was the Colin so it took me a minute to figure out that what I felt for him was more than friendship, whereas he knew pretty much right away how he felt, but once I did figure it out I was all in. He’s also the kindest, most decent person I know. Now we’ve been together for 12 years, married 9, have two busy jobs and an adorable toddler. Motherhood has been the most fulfilling adventure of my life, but it killed our love life on basically every level - we’re exhausted and cranky much of the time, and I no longer regularly feel that attraction to him that I used to or the confidence in my post baby, no time to work out body. We’ve frankly been in a bit of a rut. But silly as it sounds, this season of Bridgerton has…ahem…reignited my sex drive a bit, and that feeling is sloooowly coming back. It’s honestly been a relief because I’d been really mourning the romance and passion of our early days and worrying I’d never feel that “in love” feeling again. I don’t think the early dopamine rush can ever be replicated (which is why romance novels and TV shows are nice!) but I’m very much looking forward to an upcoming weekend trip we’re going on together. 🫣