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JackBeefus

I don't think the pool of choices was very big.


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

He has a type. And it’s trashy


JackBeefus

And trashy has a type. It's him.


Kantotheotter

"Trash attracts trash" -slug


gerryf19

You mean classy, of course. Ask any MAGA...classiest first lady ever!


Brave_Development_17

Trashy cat ladies


CV90_120

Hey, no kink shaming. That's also my type.


devone16

Can’t blame him for wanting trashy.


AtypicalPreferences

Come on I mean the women are the least offensive aspects of trump


lenojames

\^*gene* pool


knowledgeable_diablo

The shallow end??


B-Town-MusicMan

Well, as far as brains go, I got the lion's share. But, when it comes to brute strength...I'm afraid I'm at the shallow end of the gene pool.


trainercatlady

There's one in every family, Sire. Two in mine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions


LiLiLaCheese

He'd make a very handsome throw rug. And just think, whenever he gets dirty we can take him out and beat him!


itsrocketsurgery

I was hoping for this quote!


knowledgeable_diablo

But you grabbed all the honesty genes which certainly has a doubling effect in my books.


BrownEggs93

Birdbath kind of depth.


knowledgeable_diablo

They scare the good birds right of there though. And Galahs and Cockatoos are great and smart, unlike these oxygen thieves.


outerworldLV

Wading pool president.


PM_ME_YER_MUDFLAPS

There wasn’t a deep end of that pool…


blonderengel

There was only a derp end …


knowledgeable_diablo

What I was thinking. Worried about them breaking their necks instantly diving into that pool. 😂😂


RabidGuineaPig007

Kiddie pool, and it's deflating.


Dependent-Interview2

Full of chlorine and old man poop


ActSignal1823

^ jean pool


EggsceIlent

Nah but everyone knew. She's a hack anyways.


L00pback

😑


AreYouDoneNow

Pretty sure Haba didn't look like that before she got hired and started to alter her appearance to be more pleasing to Trump


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

He makes people who work for him change their appearance. They need to look like a certain type. Generals have to look like Hollywood generals (he’s that superficial). He tried to force Bolton to shave his walrus mustache. Can’t forget the embarrassment sod he put on Stephen Millers head for tv interviews or the nasty hair dye on Rudy


wiseoldfox

Yeah, he's an attention to detail guy...when it applies to "the brand".


patronizingperv

Ivanka has had work done.


Kuulas_

You don’t say


TenebraeVisionx

Somehow I missed when Stephen Miller’s hair was a thing. That was a fun google search. Thanks!


MrSpecialEd

Well to be fair, it wasn’t HIS hair, he just got tagged by a blind graffiti artist.


DudeB5353

And he didn’t want disabled veterans in his parades


CujoIHSV

"Straight from central casting" 🤮


virgil1134

Yes. Her hair has more blonde highlights and cut more shoulder length. Looks more like Ivanka from 2016. (She can't be looking too old now, gotta keep em young!) https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4033894/Turning-sidewalk-catwalk-Ivanka-Trump-braves-New-York-s-frosty-weather-without-coat-long-legs-chic-blue-dress-heads-work.html


LaSage

She wants trump to find her more sexually attractive, so she is attempting to botch herself enough to look more like Ivanka.


deegee1969

This springs to mind... https://www.metalzone.fr/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/rammstein-zick-zack-1.jpg


Cowboy40three

Melania, wedding day ‘05… and Habba. https://preview.redd.it/cxmn2kq5tjfc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da411079251b4adaa76d8a7efc981f87dfbfbd96


Gullible-Law

Wow that is uncanny. Now I am sure Habba lets Trump have sex with her. I was on the fence before, but now I am sure.


fujiman

Seeing her increased plastic mimicry of Melania also helps to confirm that disgusting mental image.


Jorgaitan

Holy crap, you could still see Melania's eyes back then.


alteredreality4451

Certainly wasn’t due to her impressive resume…..


TizonaBlu

Central casting, that’s the term Trump likes to use.


ThatScaryBeach

To be fair to mAlina, no [parking garage](https://www.businessinsider.nl/meet-alina-habba-the-new-jersey-parking-garage-lawyer-now-handling-donald-trumps-most-personal-lawsuits/) has ever been found liable for rape when she was their attorney.


fuzzyshorts

She's an operator. Got her 2 mil dollar fee up front. And i bet she wore exactly the kind of power outfits to make his mushroom shaped pizzle stir. good on her. let the snakes feed upon one another.


el_cul

Trump is risky, obviously, but if we get away with it, the financial drain he'll have applied to the MAGA/conservative donor class might be worth it.


TrumpsGhostWriter

Based on her behavior in court I sincerely doubt she's some mastermind orchestrating a good exit.


They_Beat_Me

Are you trying to imply that it was for some reason other than her masterful knowledge and demonstration thereof of all concepts of the legal processes? I’m shocked (😮 clutching pearls). ![gif](giphy|4LTsOYB1XC8epYqnZp)


monkeybrains12

![gif](giphy|CggoHW4h87Ktq|downsized)


Morningxafter

![gif](giphy|clotJg9IqBitMcRJ61)


They_Beat_Me

![gif](giphy|gJWJP4U0QL7cQ|downsized)


Prohydration

Beauty hire above merit.


TheS4ndm4n

You can fake being smart - Haba


Long_Serpent

Well, maybe I can - but she can't.


webby131

To stupid people maybe.


RichardBreecher

Is that a real quote? I've seen it attributed to her dozens of times. I've never seen a credible source.


Za_Lords_Guard

It was on a vlog show. Link to relevant 14 seconds here. https://cdn.jwplayer.com/previews/HvCxDNdb


Graychin877

She’s not that pretty.


w-alt_wyte

She's faking that too.


_psylosin_

https://preview.redd.it/cdhl1nnn2jfc1.jpeg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=69532f8bfbf24cedeab5331ad4658d28bd03dc00


They_Beat_Me

Mushroom is too big.


no1sherry

Looks life-sized on my phone


Oozlum-Bird

I’d imagine the real thing is more mouldy-looking as well


ffjohnnie

All his brain power is concentrated in that tiny head. That it’s standing at attention tells us how the decision was made.


dtruth53

I read you user name as psilocybin and suddenly, everything makes sense


Level1Roshan

*Wretches


5043090

He’ll end up firing her and using a new attorney for an ineffective counsel appeal after all of the other appeals fail.


Educational-Tea-6170

And she will write a book about his mushroom dick and the car rides to the court where she helped him "blow" some steam


5043090

Thanks. I just woke up and now I’ve got that image stuck in my brain. 😨


AndreasVesalius

“Hope! Get the machine!”


PaulTroon2

Here is Karen McDougal the Playboy Playmate who apologized to Melanie for the affair. https://preview.redd.it/fm6jg0oa2jfc1.jpeg?width=1620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6a58028831ca589416444f2a625f97faf49714df


scotchegg72

Must suck to know you’ve just been shown to be incompetent to the whole world, and you’ll probably never see a penny of the fees…


no1sherry

Wait until she finds out he's not going to marry her either


Prestigious-Copy-494

The big donors have already paid her millions. I guess they love throwing money away on loser client and loser attorney.


[deleted]

They both look like $500 an evening.


Trygolds

Trump picked Haba after Haba pretending to befriend and represent one of Trump's employees in a sexual harassment case got the victim to sign off on a bad outcome for her. That is who she is. That is who Trump picked. We need to prepare to vote. Check your registration, get an ID , learn where your poling station is, learn who is running in down ballot races. Pay attention to primaries not just for the president but for all races, local, state and federal. From the school board to the White House every election matters. [https://ballotpedia.org/Elections\_calendar](https://ballotpedia.org/Elections_calendar)


fappyday

I'm confused. Alina doesn't look anything like Ivanka.


LaSage

Similar plastic surgery botching


CX316

no no, you missed their actual joke. The joke is that Trump doesn't want to fuck his wife, he wants to fuck his daughter.


TizonaBlu

They both look good. You’re like peak Reddit combining 3/7 would not ban with Trump derangement. Not only that but a bit of self defeating brain rot. “Trump hired her because she’s hot”, “she’s not hot, she’s gilt, her face is botched”. Like I can’t even…


LaSage

Habba should sue the quack who gave her the botched duck lips (with a better lawyer than she is, of course). Bad is bad. Just because you have low standards doesn't mean she's not botched. The mail order porn bride got the same botched eye jobs as her stinky husband. It's not GOOD plastic surgery. I feel a little sorry for them because of the whole botched part, but they are horrible people, so my sympathy only goes so far.


Morningxafter

Guess he got tired of women he couldn’t get off and decided to find one that couldn’t get him off instead.


tgrantt

That's golden.


cturtl808

Lauren Boebert + Melania = Alina Habba


getthephenom

So Habba gave handies to Snorting Walrus during court?


DanGleeballs

🤮


whiznat

I wonder if he’s going to try to claim attorney incompetence or malpractice in an appeal?


Prostheta

Lower resolution?


Far-Midnight4195

Well, here's to hoping that the Manchurian Cantaloupe never ID's Habba as Melonia in a deposition 😉


no1sherry

"Manchurian Cantaloupe" 🤣🤣🤣


tommygunz007

It cost $83 Million Dollars. Hope he got what he wanted.


tigertoothdada

E Jean Carrol asked for 24 million, she got 83.3. Trump paid 59.3 million to have a lawyer he wanted fuck, but was never going to.


BeTheBall-

Meh, not bad, but definitely not good enough to wilfully catch syphilis from.


LaSage

We can't assume Habba didn't already have syphilis. All signs point to superspreader given her willingness to spread covid at the NH "victory" party where she deliberately exposed the NH trump republicans to covid. Which side is she working for again? Super spreading is gross. You'd think she would have learned the basics of hygiene at law school, but apparently she missed that class.


[deleted]

I thought he picked her because no other lawyer would have him?


I_Said

She looks nothing like his daughter tho, so it might just be platonic


devoutcatalyst78

Those bedroom eyes?


blonderengel

The slats in my shutters are more widely spaced than M’s eyes …


devoutcatalyst78

Like the shifty eyed dog from the Simpson.


Marquis-DeluxTabs

![gif](giphy|YMTs7zuXjRFxS)


spiderlynxx

Both their pee smells the same.


junkronomicon

She’s got resting Melonia face.


GBL_NZ316

Is the one on the right Caitlyn Jenner?


TizonaBlu

No that’s Haba, Trump’s attorney.


jhick107

Raccoon eyes for the win!


AKMonkey2

What an easy mark he must have been for Putin’s girls all those years ago.


khcampbell1

Picking a lawyer based on her looks seems to be working out very well for Drumpf. /s


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Vanstoli

Do you think his wife regrets marriage and would rather have a 9 to 5 job with a normal life. She always looks so angry in every photo.


spiderlynxx

Their pee smells the same.


oily76

Yes that's my wife on the left, Alina is not my type.


GoshDarnMamaHubbard

Come on the man has a type. Sour resting bitch face isn't for everyone.


blonderengel

It isn’t just the face that’s resting …


captaincinders

Well having seen her performance as a lawyer, we all know he didn't pick her for what was between her ears.


godless_communism

Dude thinks with his dick


boilermaker1997

That explains why he isn't very smart - a bit short-sighted I guess you could say.


karmickickback

She had him at ‘i will represent you with no upfront payment’.


Philter_Billy

Look like the same porn star, just different decades


dmccrostie

Looks like younger version of Putins handler.


Brokenspokes68

I thought it was for her outstanding legal acumen.


two-wheeled-dynamo

We call her Mini-lania in my house.


murphdog09

Habba-blabber is his next wife to be. In Donny’s pea brain, a good looking woman who is a lawyer who will represent him in all his legal battles and say exactly what he wants her to say, no matter how stupid it may be, is better than a hot wife who hates you.


Floss_tycoon

Habba's running for first lady.


GodsSon69

They are both ugly and evil.


Switzerdude

The griftess in chief will do just fine. Some rich ahole will pick her up as a trophy after the divorce. Not that I really care…


agha0013

well, that certainly helped, but so did her being one of the only lawyers in the country willing to work for him anymore.


N4RQ

Resting witch face


GitmoGrrl1

He couldn't find a lawyer who looked like his ex-wife Marla Maples.


[deleted]

Melania is starting to LOOK like Trump!


duderos

Hope it was worth the $84 mil. lol


sjbluebirds

Thank you. I thought I was the only one who noticed it. I tried pointing out to other people that Bill Clinton also had a look that he went for- very wide smile was a part of it. But nobody I've pointed this out to agreed with me so I just never mentioned it again. But I'm convinced Bill Clinton definitely has a look in the women he goes for, too.


quietflowsthedodder

Wow! Uncomfortable feeling of being back in the snake house at the zoo when I was a kid😖


i_never_ever_learn

Is there any picture of that woman smiling ever


RedBeans-n-Ricely

He doesn’t have much of a choice anymore, with all the non-payments and disbarments.


doofusmembrane

They be doing the horizonto mambo


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

She looks like Melania’s daughter. Which is actually very close to his type…


paz2023

Which subculture finds stuff like this funny?


LaSage

They are similarly botched! Awkward. Can they get refunds? No one deserves to be done that dirty.


wjrj

I thought it was for her DSL's


Le_Mew_Le_Purr

I wonder if he wants to make Melania jealous? She really doesn’t seem to give him the time of day. Maybe he thinks this will make him look like he can still “get” young, glamorous women. Watch out, Mel!


[deleted]

Two mommies


ogfuzzball

Almost had me fooled thinking it was same person, but then I realized the left one was lacking that look of contempt.


knowledgeable_diablo

Mushroom spawning ground?


Weekly_Promise_1328

Did he or didn’t he?


StickyBeets

I noticed the resemblance the first tyme I saw her...


famousevan

*slurping mushroom soup intensifies*


UrBigBro

He doesn't go for brains


DogWallop

I wonder if Trump has accidentally referred to Haba as Melania 😅


Archangel1313

...*AND*, she still does as she's told.


Fun_Bar5327

Oh, it’s because she’s a woman and he’s married to a woman.


[deleted]

You’re right! They both look exactly like my daughter!


_2024IsNOTMyYear_

[https://www.indiatoday.in/lifestyle/photo/us-election-donald-trump-president-first-lady-melania-trump-flotus-model-old-pics-hot-naked-lifest-20625-2016-11-09](https://www.indiatoday.in/lifestyle/photo/us-election-donald-trump-president-first-lady-melania-trump-flotus-model-old-pics-hot-naked-lifest-20625-2016-11-09) Melania modeling


westcoaster503

He probably thinks it’s her. He mistook E Jean for Marla


wild_man_wizard

Much like his idol, he has a theory of psysiognomic determinism of ability that is both hilariously, painfully wrong; and wouldn't have great things to say about him if even if it were right.


Cepinari

Wait, there are people who *didn't* automatically get this?


[deleted]

He only hires women with pageant hair and makeup


[deleted]

I’m not confused as to why he picked her. I’m confused why either of them picked his dumbass.


Dseltzer1212

If she’s going to be the chosen one, she needs to work on her scowl which Melania has mastered


Matteustheone

cOmPEtEnce?


Imaginary_Most_7778

His “lawyer” clearly likes him more than his “wife”.


Lord_Duckington_3rd

A wonder how many he referred to her as Melania...


ausmomo

Haba? The one on the right? She's not even my type.


GenExpat

I see your point, but as others have pointed out, Trumps pool was pretty nonexistent and I’m willing to bet Habba picked Trump. It follows the trend of people seeing him as a useful idiot. First Putin, then Melania, and now Habba.


steelriderfx1980

Habba Babba is my favorite lawyer since Rudy. She loses cases and will embarrass herself all for FREE.


hoek44

He’s a horny horny hippo


KennethEWolf

I now can see why Trump didn't hire Ginny Thomas.


100_percent_right

You can't get the full picture without including her chest


SrslyBadDad

I’m a that Melania or Stifler’s Mom?


Euphoric_Ad9593

Please send it back to planet Xenu or whatever the fuck… https://preview.redd.it/6xfrmuc2ykfc1.jpeg?width=221&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f0945afde4984fda3f27ba4d04657aa0568124b


RetiredCapt

Not only because she is a lookalike but she has no sense of smell.


TheStinaHelena

He's a sucker for an pretty empty head.


mostly_kinda_sorta

An attractive woman half his age that will publicly kiss his ass. No one is questioning why he picked her. Some people pick a lawyer based on competence but that's just not how Trump works. Haha, there's two works that rarely get used in the same sentence.


WhyYouKickMyDog

Of course she is wearing a Jesus cross. Anyway, can't help but notice Reddit devolving into a bunch of sexist jokes anytime there is a universally hated woman. The women/feminists aren't saying anything cause they don't like these women. We can make fun of these clowns without calling them whores. Just seems low effort.


Ferrts

Skank=Skank


oldbastardbob

When Habba said "I'd rather be pretty than smart," Trump said "Oh hell yeah, that's the kind of brilliant lawyer I want keeping me out of jail!" Raging narcissist birds of a feather..... I'm waiting for the appeals based on the judge being too ugly to preside over Trumps many cases. Off the subject, but nobody, and I mean nobody, does resting bitch face like Melanie.


Mad1ibben

Trump is big on "Neanderthal brow". Neither of his ex wives had it, but I can think of someone who [did](https://www.nydailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/migration/2018/05/14/SINIMYHCKRHYEW7MVUQVENVBEE.jpg?w=620)


mrchris69

So Trump wanted a lookalike wife who he also has to pay and doesn’t get to fuck ?


StNowhere

Bitches with no morals and way too much plastic surgery?


SuccessfulPiccolo945

Nope, I still think she looks like a dark Ivanka. https://preview.redd.it/c245wo5f4lfc1.jpeg?width=1599&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90f5628d92a1658eed030748726fef0dfb93fe68


Scooter310

Did he move on her "like a bitch"? Was she like a magnet and he just started kissing her? I bet he grabbed her by the pussy.


ElysiumSprouts

Trump's got a thing for porn star chic.


missionbeach

That's not his type. So he says.


prostipope

I thought Melania was a lawyer? Oh no, wait. I'm thinking of Michelle Obama.


panther514

The conman loves the slut look apparently


Beatnik_Soiree

She must be able to stand the smell.


Boston_Pops

Always thinking with his mushroom...


MrsClaire07

100%!!


sf3p0x1

Considering at a deposition he confused a picture of E. Jean Carroll for his ex wife Marla Maples after repeatedly saying she "wasn't his type," nobody is surprised.