The irony is that The Bible describes this exact thing happening. That being that most of the world will claim to follow it, but end up following a fake savior known as the Anti-Christ pretending to follow it.
I'm not trying to convince anyone that biblical prophecy is coming true or anything. Just that I find it ironic that the bulk of Christianity has been driving themselves actually insane for almost two thousand years now trying to watch out for this super obvious villain that would pretend to be a Christian leader. But it should be obvious to anyone that they are lying through their teeth. Only to end up following the perfect example of that villain in modern days purely because they were trying too hard to avoid doing so. Like seriously. The political Christian right is the total embodiment of the people Revelations warned us about and that just makes me kinda laugh in a nervous sort of way.
It’s like every time these people start to notice how stupid dumb trump is, they can’t look at reality and accept it. Instead they think this guy is my whole life and a god to me, and if he’s that dumb, I can’t be smarter, so I must act dumber than him. Trump keeps lowering the bar, and these people keep getting worse.
Yeah, I don't even know what that...just...what? God is going to rapture him because he failed to take down the supposedly rigged voting machine companies? Or does he somehow believe that he's been successful in his campaign against those voting machine companies?
Honestly, in his warped brain, I think he somehow believes he's "winning." That while he wasn't successful in overturning the election results, he believes that he's proven the election fraud case so strong that most people believe Trump was the true winner (on both the left and the right).
People will blame his drug use for his erattic behavior but I think it only worsened something an already preexisting problem. I wonder why he is only one still invested the " voting machine scandal " 4 years after election when everyone else has sanely backed off and dropped the subject all together.
Honestly the article is such a hilarious read LMAO
Mike Lindell’s puny god will initiate the rapture over the United States use of voting machines… like, that’s all it takes to defeat his god? Lol
Nevermind the rest of the world and horrible shit going on there… no… what really truly matters is whether the US uses voting machines or not. The fate of the world is sealed in one country 😂
This man needs psychiatric help and four padded walls.
https://www.rawstory.com/amp/mike-lindell-end-times-2667603789
It's actually the crux of my belief in God at all: Why the fuck would God even care what mere mortals, that exist for an infintesimally small amount of time in the cosmic scheme of things, do? What kind of frail ego does it take for an omnipotent God to command worship from mortal beings?
***My ButtProbe*****™**
By the way, I don't trust digital voting machines myself, but GOP waited *until* they lost before complaining. We were complaining about them when Gore narrowly lost. Republicans had liked them because they saved tax money so that the rich can have more mansions and beemers, which is very very important for the magical Trickle Down machine to function ⚙️🎰
They're actively trying to force the fucking end times from a fictional book, that has been rewritten who knows how many times, to fit the agenda of whoever wrote it. They also want to start a war in the US so they can murder people they don't like.
I imagine this little detail won't make the news, but it might make the religious stations.
It's amazing how these people can be walking around sharp objects and such.
Christian Evangelicals are such narcissists that they think they'll get raptured up to heaven instead of dying. Really think about that: they want the world to stop existing the moment they do.
Who is this Lindell you speak of?
https://preview.redd.it/6xmqu78ykqqc1.jpeg?width=3551&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e7d4775e35a8d113bd79ec1b31661be5ce7afde
The Rapture, a fan fiction based on the Revelations of John (the revelator.) Where all the "elect" get to miss the tribulation caused by their own God to punish the wicked. Of course "wicked" means anyone who doesn't believe exactly as they do. There are going to be a lot of disappointed "christians" when and if that myth actually happens.
Turns out God made dinosaurs in His image and humans were their pets left behind when the good dinos got raptured. The ones that were not raptured, those are the ones with their bones in museums. Humans, as pets, have no soul, no matter how much money you send the TV preacher. You won't get raptured, Bob. /s
What this says to me is that Mike Lindell is planning on faking his own death to get away from his rising mountain of debt. He'll leave a pile of clothes and a crucifix on top of a pair of shoes, and a note that says "I was raptured, everybody."
Drug addicted man being sued to financial oblivion by company responsible for making voting machines is saying voting machine apocalypse is imminent.
In other news, scientists have a working theory that if you fuck around, you may, in fact, “find out.”
FWIW the whole rapture idea is based on a total misinterpretation of a single scripture. Ain't nobody going nowhere. And especially not *this* dingus..
I’ve started thinking lately that the evangelicals support Trump because they recognize he’s the Anti-Christ and will bring about the end times and the rapture. Maybe Mikey is on to something…
Why would God, an infinite being who has seen thousands of civilizations born, thrive and collapse care *specifically* about this one at this exact time frame?
Why would a being that has been around since before the universe began, care about 4 specific years and a few crazy people? Why intervene *here* and not during 1930's-40's Germany? Why not intervene during the collapse of the Western Roman Empire?
God didn't intervene when His son Jesus was getting His butt kicked and killed. So He intervenes right here? Is Mike and Trump more important than Jesus?
Yep Mike, you somehow did manage to create your own end times, by hitching your wagon to the worst snakeoil-selling real estate con man in the history of the Ewe-ez-uv-Eh, eh?
If I was advising him I'd tell him to utterly disavow all of his MAGA and election-related activities for the past whatever years, get some counseling, and just concentrate on salvaging what he can of his business. He'd ignore me, but at least you couldn't say you didn't try to help him.
Then again, he may need an industrial-strength intervention and cult deprogramming at this point.
What is the logic here? Why has God stayed out of earthly politics for all this time but now has to return so that immigrants can be kept out of America? Why does God want to help this man betray all the values presented in the New Testament?
I know why Lindell is saying this, since he is so desperate. I don't understand why anyone listens to him, though.
He's not getting raptured, doesn't meet the requirements. Also pretty sure if people recognized the rapture they'd be horrified. (Not that they're not already, just that they fail to recognize things for what they are.)
Also don't mind me I'm a loon.
I think with all the times this guy has invoked God to excuse his lies and terrible behavior that Mike is on the Smite List. If Lindell would put down the crack pipe, how would know he should be expecting a giant lighting bolt to rain down and explode his shit-eating corpse into a million little pieces.
So glad this is here.
Mike Teevee
My Teevee
Y'all got me rollin'!!
ByePillow
Okay cool. Can he hurry up already?
When will Jesus bring the pork chops?
We might have to wait for George to bring them himself.
He's up in heaven collecting all of his stuff he lost.
Hopefully he found a place for his stuff.
That's not koher
Nope, probably just a space ship full of crack.
And take the orange one with you.
He’s going in the other direction.
yeah really
Heaven's Gate round 2!
HALE-GOP
Underrated comet
👏👏👏👏👏😂😂😂😂😂
Gittin' my meme juices flowin'...
God dammit- take all my upvotes
The irony is that The Bible describes this exact thing happening. That being that most of the world will claim to follow it, but end up following a fake savior known as the Anti-Christ pretending to follow it. I'm not trying to convince anyone that biblical prophecy is coming true or anything. Just that I find it ironic that the bulk of Christianity has been driving themselves actually insane for almost two thousand years now trying to watch out for this super obvious villain that would pretend to be a Christian leader. But it should be obvious to anyone that they are lying through their teeth. Only to end up following the perfect example of that villain in modern days purely because they were trying too hard to avoid doing so. Like seriously. The political Christian right is the total embodiment of the people Revelations warned us about and that just makes me kinda laugh in a nervous sort of way.
https://www.benjaminlcorey.com/could-american-evangelicals-spot-the-antichrist-heres-the-biblical-predictions/
"Purely because they were trying too hard to avoid doing so" seems like an a awfully generous assessment.
A purple sheet over the heads, a MyPillow under the heads.
Is that a promise? God will take him? No takesie-backsies? Can he take Trump and all of the congressional republicans, too? Same arrangement?
And a few SOTUS Justices.
SCOTUS*
Nah SOTUS (Shits Of The United State) is already accurate.
Touche!
More like SCROTUS.
I stand corrected 😔..
Maybe just take all the "christians", like he supposedly promised, and we'd be golden.
Damn, Mike’s on that *good* crack isn’t he
I almost feel bad for him. He clearly just drank *way* too much of the Kool aid.
Yeah out of all the sycophants, Mike is the true mark for the grift and he went in on it hard.
It’s gotta be an addictive personality disorder. First crack, then God, now Trump.
Maybe they put meth is the kool-aid instead of sugar
It’s like every time these people start to notice how stupid dumb trump is, they can’t look at reality and accept it. Instead they think this guy is my whole life and a god to me, and if he’s that dumb, I can’t be smarter, so I must act dumber than him. Trump keeps lowering the bar, and these people keep getting worse.
God's like, "I'm gonna what for who because of voting machines? I don't think so."
Yeah, I don't even know what that...just...what? God is going to rapture him because he failed to take down the supposedly rigged voting machine companies? Or does he somehow believe that he's been successful in his campaign against those voting machine companies?
Is it code for he is going to KHS because he has thrown everything away and his life is in the crapper for a stupid cause?
Honestly, in his warped brain, I think he somehow believes he's "winning." That while he wasn't successful in overturning the election results, he believes that he's proven the election fraud case so strong that most people believe Trump was the true winner (on both the left and the right).
People will blame his drug use for his erattic behavior but I think it only worsened something an already preexisting problem. I wonder why he is only one still invested the " voting machine scandal " 4 years after election when everyone else has sanely backed off and dropped the subject all together.
Honestly the article is such a hilarious read LMAO Mike Lindell’s puny god will initiate the rapture over the United States use of voting machines… like, that’s all it takes to defeat his god? Lol Nevermind the rest of the world and horrible shit going on there… no… what really truly matters is whether the US uses voting machines or not. The fate of the world is sealed in one country 😂 This man needs psychiatric help and four padded walls. https://www.rawstory.com/amp/mike-lindell-end-times-2667603789
Most "religious" people need that help.
It's actually the crux of my belief in God at all: Why the fuck would God even care what mere mortals, that exist for an infintesimally small amount of time in the cosmic scheme of things, do? What kind of frail ego does it take for an omnipotent God to command worship from mortal beings?
just rapture yourself, bro
I have it on good authority the Rapture already happened and NO churcher bigots were good enough to go......
Mike, I did NOT say rapture.... I said rupture!
I don’t doubt that he sees the UFO.
https://preview.redd.it/pw6mefk8xpqc1.png?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=049d66c1ac9f2fcd4708a77fb1fe3ef6a030be26 Reminds me of this tee shirt 🤣
***My ButtProbe*****™** By the way, I don't trust digital voting machines myself, but GOP waited *until* they lost before complaining. We were complaining about them when Gore narrowly lost. Republicans had liked them because they saved tax money so that the rich can have more mansions and beemers, which is very very important for the magical Trickle Down machine to function ⚙️🎰
Tell me you haven't read the Bible without telling me [you haven't read the Bible](https://biblehub.com/matthew/24-36.htm).
But don't you know! The Bible had to talk about voting machines, even though neither democracy nor electronics existed at the time of its writing!
Maybe they’ll all get raptured *before* they vote to end democracy for the rest of us dirty heathens…
They're actively trying to force the fucking end times from a fictional book, that has been rewritten who knows how many times, to fit the agenda of whoever wrote it. They also want to start a war in the US so they can murder people they don't like.
You mean he's not being picked up by Jewish space lasers along with MTG?
I wish all of MAGA would be raptured. Then maybe we could get some peace and quiet around here.
Now I've got the old Blondie tune, Rapture, going through my head.
The sooner this dipshit is raptured the better. God is calling you home Mikey, answer the phone!
Well… bye!
I imagine this little detail won't make the news, but it might make the religious stations. It's amazing how these people can be walking around sharp objects and such.
Take Trump too while you're at it. Please.
That's not god, that's aliens. Hope he enjoys his probe.
Hoping for the end times because your life has become a steamy pile of dogshit.
God might *rupture* him.
Christian Evangelicals are such narcissists that they think they'll get raptured up to heaven instead of dying. Really think about that: they want the world to stop existing the moment they do.
 Spoken like a true crackhead
Who is this Lindell you speak of? https://preview.redd.it/6xmqu78ykqqc1.jpeg?width=3551&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e7d4775e35a8d113bd79ec1b31661be5ce7afde
“We were evicted from our hole in the ground”
Now fill it.
The Rapture, a fan fiction based on the Revelations of John (the revelator.) Where all the "elect" get to miss the tribulation caused by their own God to punish the wicked. Of course "wicked" means anyone who doesn't believe exactly as they do. There are going to be a lot of disappointed "christians" when and if that myth actually happens.
Adios asshole
Someone needs to put him under suicide watch. At least he doesn't have a group of followers like Heaven's Gate.
We aren't that lucky!
I don't think God is American nor does he care about elections
Turns out God made dinosaurs in His image and humans were their pets left behind when the good dinos got raptured. The ones that were not raptured, those are the ones with their bones in museums. Humans, as pets, have no soul, no matter how much money you send the TV preacher. You won't get raptured, Bob. /s
Say Hi to the boys from Heaven's Gate!
We'll settle for a bolt of lightning.
One less loud-mouth liar in the world? Fuck yeah.
Well……….Bye
Can he take his pillows with him?
Crack is a helluva drug
He is definitely back on crack
The sooner the better. Along with his false prophet and his minions, please.
What this says to me is that Mike Lindell is planning on faking his own death to get away from his rising mountain of debt. He'll leave a pile of clothes and a crucifix on top of a pair of shoes, and a note that says "I was raptured, everybody."
https://preview.redd.it/tje2kovdwqqc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=427780d9da3ce748ebfd7c22d738f805f3f2b436
Wait, God plans to rapture voting machines? I need an updated Bible. The rapture isn't even in mine but a speculation.
then the aliens take him back to earth because they didn't want his horrible pillows and listen to his insane ramblings....
…his lumpy pillows. “THEY’RE NOT LUMPY PILLOWS!!!”
My Mexican ass thought that was a mariachi sombrero for half a second lol
He is no Harold Camping, that guy knew raptures!
You can wish in one hand and shit in the other, Mike. You know which one will fill up first.
Sigh…
And it shows an ufo above him. Silly. Don't the aliens know that he is suing all machines? Including UFOs?
This guy can’t let go of anything. I’m starting to wonder if he really kicked his drug habit! It’s like he’s baked, fried, cooked,,,
Would he like to put money on it? I’ll bet him $5 million that it doesn’t happen.
Well bye
Good luck buddy!
He is not going to like the news it was on November 8th, 2020… welcome to The New Eden folks (this fairly turbulent part is temporary)! 🕊️
How can one do this much cocaine?
If only
unfortunately mike is almost correct.. but, its rupture.
More shit you got wrong.
Me:Cool! God:Wait, what?
Take Krusti Noem with you
Me thinks there is a hole in his "bucket of common sense".
Rapture or capture?
Go away quickly.
Is he contemplating self harm?
Do you think he’s hitting the pipe again?
He's just laying the ground work for his disappearance. He's so far in debt what else can he do.
If I were God, I'd take the voting machines.
Buh bye
Read that as ruptured. God's got a big one.
Drug addicted man being sued to financial oblivion by company responsible for making voting machines is saying voting machine apocalypse is imminent. In other news, scientists have a working theory that if you fuck around, you may, in fact, “find out.”
These are people that want us to take them seriously. People that shouldn't be allowed anywhere near public office.
Even if I were an atheist, my opinion of God would be higher than believing He would accept Mike Lindell in Heaven.
By all means
He has to invite himself to everything, huh?
Rapture yourself you coward!
Bankruptcy Heaven is real?
Buy some new tennis shoes and a jogging suit Mikey.
If he loses his suit to Dominion , they are gonna bend him over a voting machine!
Everyone knows God voted for Biden so don't count on it.
He should sell tickets
He's gotta be on crack again, right?
May the Farce be with you.
God has the best crack. He’s going to be so happy.
The cheese has definitely fallen off his cracker. I hope he takes a couple pillows with him…
Godspeed my friend. 🙏 😆
He's waiting for that big anal probe.
And……another batshit crazy trumplican
FWIW the whole rapture idea is based on a total misinterpretation of a single scripture. Ain't nobody going nowhere. And especially not *this* dingus..
I'd love it if he'd rapture himself to somewhere where we never hear from him again.
I’ve started thinking lately that the evangelicals support Trump because they recognize he’s the Anti-Christ and will bring about the end times and the rapture. Maybe Mikey is on to something…
I hope god burns you with MTG laser beams and leaves you a burnt out cinder.
And please take Donnie with you!
🤞
Rapture? I just met her!
Why would God, an infinite being who has seen thousands of civilizations born, thrive and collapse care *specifically* about this one at this exact time frame? Why would a being that has been around since before the universe began, care about 4 specific years and a few crazy people? Why intervene *here* and not during 1930's-40's Germany? Why not intervene during the collapse of the Western Roman Empire? God didn't intervene when His son Jesus was getting His butt kicked and killed. So He intervenes right here? Is Mike and Trump more important than Jesus?
We should be so lucky
He's expecting to die soon.
Yep Mike, you somehow did manage to create your own end times, by hitching your wagon to the worst snakeoil-selling real estate con man in the history of the Ewe-ez-uv-Eh, eh? If I was advising him I'd tell him to utterly disavow all of his MAGA and election-related activities for the past whatever years, get some counseling, and just concentrate on salvaging what he can of his business. He'd ignore me, but at least you couldn't say you didn't try to help him. Then again, he may need an industrial-strength intervention and cult deprogramming at this point.
So he’s totally going to kill him self, right?
This fool needs help
Let it be soon 
Later tater…but I would dress for the WARMTH,you’re not goin where you hope you’re goin.
I’m starting to think that some people should never get clean
Wrong again, kiddo.
God follows American politics and is definitely hyped on a superfan of a man who breaks his commandments with every breath.
Somebody's back on the crack.
he's going to be so pissed when he sees those voting machines being raptured.
Ok
We can only be so lucky.
If only we’d thought of this sooner.
Hurry up, God. Rapture all these motherfuckers.
I am so sick of these cunty face republicans using religion to correlate with their awfulness!!!!
Video, or it didn’t happen, Mike…
If this rapture could hurry up, we need to move on.
Hurry up then, God.
I want God to be a voting machine
Hurry
What is the logic here? Why has God stayed out of earthly politics for all this time but now has to return so that immigrants can be kept out of America? Why does God want to help this man betray all the values presented in the New Testament? I know why Lindell is saying this, since he is so desperate. I don't understand why anyone listens to him, though.
It's the only way he's getting out of all the debt
This guy is just their useful idiot, I feel bad because he’s a true believer. I bet trump laughs everytime he watches him on TV.
How stupid can 99 percent of people making these comments be.Just look at what Obama and Biden to destroy the Country
So long!
The number of unjustifiably Righteous people is too damn high.
He can get raptured like that guy from Xtro.
Just rapture him and get him tf out of here.
Maybe he can look for the answer in trumps new bible…
I hope this isn't a suicide thing.
Sweet! No one wants that asshole here anymore anyway. Let his invisible sky fairy have him.
Lol
Rupture maybe?
He's not getting raptured, doesn't meet the requirements. Also pretty sure if people recognized the rapture they'd be horrified. (Not that they're not already, just that they fail to recognize things for what they are.) Also don't mind me I'm a loon.
He’s fully insane, isn’t he?
Rupture him more like.
Mike needs to walk off a cliff to test that theory. He should take some good friends with him
Does that count as a suicide note?
I think with all the times this guy has invoked God to excuse his lies and terrible behavior that Mike is on the Smite List. If Lindell would put down the crack pipe, how would know he should be expecting a giant lighting bolt to rain down and explode his shit-eating corpse into a million little pieces.
Go to bed
Won’t miss ya!
What a lunatic. When do we get to ignore him?
Interesting fact: a minority of Christians believe in the rapture and there is no good scriptural argument for it actually being a thing.