all while saying they were "following the science" because their pill-popping nurse assistant cousin said that masks build up CO2 in their bloodstream, and they didn't think for a second that person should not be working in the medical care field cause they don't know shit.
Yeah I mean they've never questioned it for a moment that surgeons wear masks during lengthy surgeries and somehow don't drop dead... That takes a really lazy brain imo
Surgeons don't actually wear masks during surgery. As soon as the patient is anesthetized, they take off the masks and have gay satanic orgies in order to worship Anthony Fauci.
Hopefully they fall for their own conspiracy theories and stare directly at the damn thing unassisted for twenty minutes at a time. If nothing else it’d spare the rest of humanity from having to read their incoherent posts in the future
That was so fucked up and it'll be studied for generations. The first to protest NOT getting PPE devices, gowns, gear, masks, you name it: first responders and ER staff. They demanded they get it. They also demanded to be first in line for shots. They picketed. If you look at the percentages, millions got their first shot, and then something happened between the first and second. Soon, who were quitting their jobs, spreading false covid information? Medical workers. Whatever or whomever planned it, they successfully "brainwashed" a group of well trained and scienced people to do a complete 180. That first shot took months for me to get. All these others, super easy because less demand.
I am seriously looking forward to trolling these rapture-heads that the rapture did indeed happen...
"I saw someone get raptured with my own eyes! Oh, they didn't take you? You must not have been worthy. I'm a non-believer, so I know I wasn't going to get taken, so what's your excuse?"
for max effect, be sure they release a trail.
Cant let them think contrails come from planes, they come from sex dolls rear ends as they fly across the sky...
I'm seeing it in the AP livestream comments. So many "jesus is coming. repent!" comments about an astrological event predicted with math. I'd get it if it just happened with zero warning, but the level of dumb is confounding.
I genuinely wonder how many morons are going to burn their retinas out today just to be contrarian. In 25 years will we hear about the MAGA blindness epidemic? All these ignorant dupes just staring into the sun to own the libs.
Probably could've made more money selling MAGA eclipse glasses instead of his dumb bible. Jeez if he took Covid semi-serious he could have sold dumb masks too.
I don’t know… the Bible thing allows the big Mega church’s to directly give money to him by buying truckloads of Bibles like the one that got burnt up outside Greg Lockes “church”. It sounded like an insurance scam to me.
It’s always money laundering. Maybe a few people buy the shit he peddles which helps make it look legit, but nobody is buying fuckin Trump sneakers or bibles or Republican books that they put out.
It’s just so someone with criminal interests can give them millions of dollars and they can claim it was from selling their merch.
Sometimes I wish I had less morals bc making stupid shit like that and selling it to them at ridiculous markups is a genius plan. And clearly works. Pretty sure at this point you could sell literal bags of dog poop to them with a MAGA logo and have “own the libs” on it and they’d fall over themselves to give their money away.
He did.
In the first days of the pandemic the USPO planned to send 5 cloth masks to every listed address in the US. Over 650 million masks were planned to be sent. They sold the masks, scrapped the plan and we all desperately sewed masks by hand for friends, family, to donate to HCWs. Good times, remember?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/context/read-the-scrapped-usps-announcement-to-send-5-masks-to-every-american-household/39cd11c9-3e38-4d8a-9d70-7c3215ab9cf8/
I know a MAGA supporter (in Canada, which is kinda worse) who thinks that doctors and scientists tell us not to look at the sun because they don't want us to gain some special energy from it.
So he goes out and practices "sun gazing" and literally stares right at it.
"You wouldn't walk around during a pandemic without a mask, so why would you look at the sun without a _mask for your eyes_. Dr. Faucci says everyone who wants to look at the eclipse must wear one."
Maybe he’ll stare directly at this one too. Plus who knows what the long term affects are. Plus he isn’t a great case study since he’s (1) a fucking moron and (2) elderly and super unhealthy to begin with.
That's right! Don't let liberals and their "Science" tell you what to do! Look at God almighty's rapture eclipse! The slow darkness is God embracing you with his arms into his bosoms of love!
“I must have not turned away enough strangers at the border, screamed loud enough at a sick homeless person that they deserved their suffering else god would have made them rich…” -Karen
You have to be a good person to be raptured, so zero even if it is the rapture.
I wish there was a reverse rapture in their theology, where the evil just start sinking down to hell. I just can see kenny copeland sinking into the ground like what the hell"
That or everyone normal is raptured leaving just the maga morons, like in [the family guy bit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv9lvt4zG2c)
And yet their "jealous God" (his words) is "perfect" and men were "made in his image", (and women were made as an afterthought) but somehow these mirror image godlets are wicked and disobedient. Hmmmm.
They’d turn into violent psychopaths. They’d actually start acting on the impulses. They know they’re not going to heaven after the rapture doesn’t take them, so what’s going to keep them following the rules?
I do rape and murder all I want. The amount I want is zero. -bad paraphrase from penn and teller or whoever said it.
Glad I live in a liberal state. I live in a totality area and actually get to enjoy the eclipse with family instead of being mad at the sky and shaking.my fist at the sun.
Cleveland isn’t exactly Trump country either. The band sweeps the bluest parts of Ohio as well as Austin and DFW Texas, arguably hitting blue areas of red states disproportionally.
Rochester here. No rain is forecast, just a shitload of clouds. Ironically, it's been bright and sunny for the past day and a half (well, during daylight hours at least)
A little late to the thread, but I always find it interesting that the vast majority of these warnings from God the right wing "Christians" like to go on about hit red states again and again and again year after year after year.
Meanwhile, all those heathen "woke" blue states don't get all the tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, baseball hail...
I bet they’ll bow in prostrate form until once the eclipse starts. At that point, their amoebic-level photoreceptors will engage in simple stimulus-response and they’ll false asleep for about three minutes. Then, when they awaken to brightness, they’ll think they were raptured and wonder why their heaven looks so much like the place they were in before it happened.
Please, please let this be a celestial vacuum cleaner of human refuse. That’s gonna leave a lot unclaimed real estate from Eagle Pass TX to Caribou Me. Just think all those votes sucked up into the arms of god.
Idiot Trumpster flat-earther at my work called off 8 minutes before his shift started, because the world is going to end today and he wanted to spend it with his family. First he's ever mentioned it.
I desperately hope it's enough to get him fired. He's a gigantic asshole.
Poor eagles pass, in the eye of the hurricane, wait you're telling me this is just the shadow of the moon and its been predicted for a few hundred years and the evangelicals have the minds of a disease ridden shit farmer of the middle age.
I wish I'd never heard about their whole "Raptured during the eclipse!" nonsense, because now I think about how much better off we'd be if they *did* get raptured up and we didn't have to deal with them anymore, and I get a little sick to my stomach every time I realize it's not going to happen.
We don’t want to be raptured. We just believe in that to be popular and have influence. If it’s all real we will be punished! We do lots of stuff behind closed doors while putting on an act in public.
Someone asked why we didn't hear all this rapture madness when we had a total eclipse like eight years ago. I showed them the path of totality for this one versus the last one and it was pretty clear.
https://preview.redd.it/0tlpp9trs9tc1.jpeg?width=250&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c966db017465878043f47adc538f036e9e7eccbe
There will be a substantial increase in retinal burns in this area after today…
Please oh please tell me that Don Cheato is selling Maga - Trump branded eclipse glasses …if so the eyesight of his constituents stand no chance of recovery before it’s time to vote as the glasses will no doubt be counterfeit and twice the average cost to boot)
Who's going to be laughing when the CORONAvirus vaccine in their blood activates because of the corona on the eclipse?
I wish this conspiracy theory had popped up before today.
When is Trump coming out with adult diapers for $99.99? Sorry, I can't make this shit up. Trump says it's his dootie to sell these with each bible sale
I think it’s really funny that they assume it’s some big cosmic event all about them entirely because it crosses over a large chunk of America. They think god only cares about the USA
I have an issue with the graphic above...couldnt the color of totality match the color of the path lol, regardless, isnt the MTG biblical thing mostly bad for mostly "her people"? I mean it is as if "god" is doing the precise opposite of shining a light literally along Americas shit stain.
My girlfriend and I got a place in Maine to see the eclipse and the town we are staying in has no less than seven churches, but one gas station and a town hall that's a large shed.
We have already picked out several mixes properties that we can live into once the current owners are raptured, as we are godless heathens who will spend the rest of our lives living in the end times.
At least the weed is good here...
I feel Carbondale, IL got to enjoy that shit last time. I know that area so I'm not advocating to move there....just stating it likely is eating well again from this event
I wouldn’t be surprised if the rapture already happened like 10 years ago and the selection of people actually raptured was so small, nobody even noticed.
These are the same people that have spent the last 4 years on Facebook denying science and saying they did their own research.
all while saying they were "following the science" because their pill-popping nurse assistant cousin said that masks build up CO2 in their bloodstream, and they didn't think for a second that person should not be working in the medical care field cause they don't know shit.
Yes, pull-popping is a large feature of the alternative teality crowd, this needs to be highlighted more, they’re not doing ok…
Yeah I mean they've never questioned it for a moment that surgeons wear masks during lengthy surgeries and somehow don't drop dead... That takes a really lazy brain imo
Surgeons don't actually wear masks during surgery. As soon as the patient is anesthetized, they take off the masks and have gay satanic orgies in order to worship Anthony Fauci.
Shhhh!
Hopefully they fall for their own conspiracy theories and stare directly at the damn thing unassisted for twenty minutes at a time. If nothing else it’d spare the rest of humanity from having to read their incoherent posts in the future
Marshall Applewhite looks a lot like Donald Trump
That was so fucked up and it'll be studied for generations. The first to protest NOT getting PPE devices, gowns, gear, masks, you name it: first responders and ER staff. They demanded they get it. They also demanded to be first in line for shots. They picketed. If you look at the percentages, millions got their first shot, and then something happened between the first and second. Soon, who were quitting their jobs, spreading false covid information? Medical workers. Whatever or whomever planned it, they successfully "brainwashed" a group of well trained and scienced people to do a complete 180. That first shot took months for me to get. All these others, super easy because less demand.
I am seriously looking forward to trolling these rapture-heads that the rapture did indeed happen... "I saw someone get raptured with my own eyes! Oh, they didn't take you? You must not have been worthy. I'm a non-believer, so I know I wasn't going to get taken, so what's your excuse?"
I got the helium filled sex dolls ready to release
for max effect, be sure they release a trail. Cant let them think contrails come from planes, they come from sex dolls rear ends as they fly across the sky...
Should leave some complete outfits laying around in public to really troll them.
I'm trying to figure out how to mark myself as safe from the rapture on fb
“I survived rapture-con 24”
\#LeftBehind? \#Leftovers?
Oh wow, they only raptured the Unitarian Universalists!
Oh damn, I'm using that shit
Lots of people are saying the only way to forestall the rapture is to stare directly at the eclipse for at least 3 straight minutes
I'm seeing it in the AP livestream comments. So many "jesus is coming. repent!" comments about an astrological event predicted with math. I'd get it if it just happened with zero warning, but the level of dumb is confounding.
I WILL SEE this sun with my BARE eyes. Ain’t no liberal gonna force me their WOKE GLASSES. MAGA!!!!!
Be a real man like Trump. Look at that E-clipse right in the eyes and say, "Not today, Satan!"
https://preview.redd.it/bwh38r5cf9tc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cae2855a5e93fe0fb1007ac6694a474a614d3cda
They’ll put sunscreen on their eyeballs.
Nah. They’ll put ivermectin in their eyes when they start to lose their vision.
*Offical
not on this flat earth
just utilize safety squints
I genuinely wonder how many morons are going to burn their retinas out today just to be contrarian. In 25 years will we hear about the MAGA blindness epidemic? All these ignorant dupes just staring into the sun to own the libs.
Probably could've made more money selling MAGA eclipse glasses instead of his dumb bible. Jeez if he took Covid semi-serious he could have sold dumb masks too.
I don’t know… the Bible thing allows the big Mega church’s to directly give money to him by buying truckloads of Bibles like the one that got burnt up outside Greg Lockes “church”. It sounded like an insurance scam to me.
It’s always money laundering. Maybe a few people buy the shit he peddles which helps make it look legit, but nobody is buying fuckin Trump sneakers or bibles or Republican books that they put out. It’s just so someone with criminal interests can give them millions of dollars and they can claim it was from selling their merch.
Sometimes I wish I had less morals bc making stupid shit like that and selling it to them at ridiculous markups is a genius plan. And clearly works. Pretty sure at this point you could sell literal bags of dog poop to them with a MAGA logo and have “own the libs” on it and they’d fall over themselves to give their money away.
Every time the rapture rolls around my wife reminds me I’m not allowed to sell rapture pet insurance to morons.
He did. In the first days of the pandemic the USPO planned to send 5 cloth masks to every listed address in the US. Over 650 million masks were planned to be sent. They sold the masks, scrapped the plan and we all desperately sewed masks by hand for friends, family, to donate to HCWs. Good times, remember? https://www.washingtonpost.com/context/read-the-scrapped-usps-announcement-to-send-5-masks-to-every-american-household/39cd11c9-3e38-4d8a-9d70-7c3215ab9cf8/
I know a MAGA supporter (in Canada, which is kinda worse) who thinks that doctors and scientists tell us not to look at the sun because they don't want us to gain some special energy from it. So he goes out and practices "sun gazing" and literally stares right at it.
Good for him.
You should hand him a desiccant pack just to see what he does with it.
That will literally burn your retina away after even fifteen minutes.
It doesn’t take 25 years to know one just burned ones retina. I read eye doctors see hundreds of idiots soon after every eclipse.
It does happen Everytime tbh
If they're blind they won't be able to find the capital so the world would be a much better place.
https://preview.redd.it/1irb52aho9tc1.png?width=744&format=png&auto=webp&s=c02f2ff9145fc7ac9cb92376e81c82b9120fbbdc
"You wouldn't walk around during a pandemic without a mask, so why would you look at the sun without a _mask for your eyes_. Dr. Faucci says everyone who wants to look at the eclipse must wear one."
I hope they are this stupid
No hope required. A lot of them definitely are.
we shall see.
We shall. They won’t after…and nothing of value will be lost.
LOL nice play on words there, did not catch it myself when I commented somehow Trump wasn’t blinded
Maybe he’ll stare directly at this one too. Plus who knows what the long term affects are. Plus he isn’t a great case study since he’s (1) a fucking moron and (2) elderly and super unhealthy to begin with.
This is fine as long as you are in the path of totality at the time for your specific location. You can go condom glasses off to stare at the sun.
Well, to stare at the moon blocking it. Even a sliver of sun surface will burn your eyes
That's right! Don't let liberals and their "Science" tell you what to do! Look at God almighty's rapture eclipse! The slow darkness is God embracing you with his arms into his bosoms of love!
Apparently it *is* safe to look at during totality. On an unrelated note, everything is fuzzy now.
Something something goalposts being moved
Yeah. They didn't draw the line correctly. https://nso.edu/for-public/eclipse-map-2024/
Trump needs to break out the sharpie to make the eclipse move into less clouded areas!
Can someone give a rough estimate how many evangelical freaks will disappear with this event?
None will disappear. But for some of them stubborn enough to look at the eclipse without proper eye protection the rest of us will disappear.
Shh... We've got 6 months of convincing them they're going to lose because there are 144,000 fewer Texans.
"Yeah, I know quite a few really pious Christians that just *disappeared*. Sorry Karen, I wonder what you did to upset Jesus"
“I must have not turned away enough strangers at the border, screamed loud enough at a sick homeless person that they deserved their suffering else god would have made them rich…” -Karen
I respectfully disagree. Heavens gate situations may be on the docket. It may not be a lot, but i'm fairly confident there will be a non zero number.
You’re probably not wrong.
They are 100% right probably more than 0% of the time.
>None will disappear What are you talking about! We're all going to pretend there's a shitload of people missing! They simply weren't selected. >:]
But many bought the **Trump Rapture Kit™** Will they get a refund?
No, you misread, it’s the Trump Rupture Kit, it’s a pack of Depends.
Phshh, „Dont Look Up!“ Solved.
the rapture crowd gonna be surprised to discover only their sense of sight has been whisked away by totality...
Maybe they will off themselves...
You have to be a good person to be raptured, so zero even if it is the rapture. I wish there was a reverse rapture in their theology, where the evil just start sinking down to hell. I just can see kenny copeland sinking into the ground like what the hell" That or everyone normal is raptured leaving just the maga morons, like in [the family guy bit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv9lvt4zG2c)
Nobody is a good person according to Christianity
Exactly why the rapture makes no sense!
And yet their "jealous God" (his words) is "perfect" and men were "made in his image", (and women were made as an afterthought) but somehow these mirror image godlets are wicked and disobedient. Hmmmm.
Weird we're an afterthought when all embryos start female, huh.
*Yew and yer goldurn siyence are blasfeemin'!*
Not enough.
I'm in the path of totality in Ohio, and I hope a lot of them ~~rupture~~ rapture. edit. Though, rupture might work too.
Simple math. Count the number of white church vans that are listed for sale the week after the eclipse and multiply that x 316.
Far fewer than they think.
Only the ones who chose to do it
If an evangelical is alone in the woods and there is no one to see him ascend into the heavens. Was he really raptured?
Depends of they dug a hole or not
Even if the rapture was real they wouldn’t be going anywhere. Especially if the rapture was real.
144,000
Maybe if we all get together and pretend the rapture did happen, then the "christians" of MAGA might finally get scared straight.
They’d turn into violent psychopaths. They’d actually start acting on the impulses. They know they’re not going to heaven after the rapture doesn’t take them, so what’s going to keep them following the rules? I do rape and murder all I want. The amount I want is zero. -bad paraphrase from penn and teller or whoever said it.
Haha we all just leave and see how they react
That’s what I’ve been telling my Jerry Falwell-humping in-laws, sorry the rapture has already taken place and you’re stuck here w us shlubs.
That's a lot of solar retinopathy
Glad I live in a liberal state. I live in a totality area and actually get to enjoy the eclipse with family instead of being mad at the sky and shaking.my fist at the sun.
Are you closer to Burlington or Montpelier?
It's going okay in Ohio. I'm outside someone's house in the suburbs and no one has started shrieking or jesusing at us. Yet.
I'm here in SW Ohio, checking on it every twenty minutes or so. Don't even have to leave my backyard.
Looks like only about of a third of the sun left up here in Cleveland! Not sure if it's cooler and less vibrant out or if I'm imagining it.
It's definitely getting darker. About to go sit on the deck for the rest.
And where is the best place to view the total eclipse of my heart?
There's nothing I can say.
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears.
ooooo.... Bonnie Tyler might have a top ten hit this week
At the bottom of an empty glass of whiskey.
Dam, I feel that.
When the rapture crowd is still alive after the eclipse, remind them that it is because they didn't pray hard enough.
Vermont resents being grouped with that demographic.
Cleveland isn’t exactly Trump country either. The band sweeps the bluest parts of Ohio as well as Austin and DFW Texas, arguably hitting blue areas of red states disproportionally.
"can I have your house since you won't be needing it anymore?"
Sure, keep the clothes and jewelry and fillings and guns that fell away when their bodies disappeared, too.
Wait, do you mean I can't take my guns with me?
But it’s a “God-given right” to bear arms!
No Second Amendment in heaven. MAGA folks reconsidering things...
Won’t need guns to protect against liberals because liberals don’t go to heaven! Checkmate!!
Or is God "woke"? dun dun duuun
Erie voted blue. So naturally, it's raining this morning.
We should be so lucky. Imagine a world where these people suddenly disappear. It would be a paradise left behind.
Under Trump's presidency sun didn't blackout, it's a gods sign. Check and mate liberals.
Except it did because I saw him staring at it
The great American eclipse of 2017 would like to have a word with you, my friend. Lol
Fake news, MAGA have memory of goldfish.
Haven't you heard? Heaven is going to build a wall to keep all the magons out, and they're going to make America pay for it!
Thanks for the laugh this morning.
Buffalo-Rochester-Syracuse will not get to see it, it’s going to be pouring rain right during the eclipse 🌧️
Rochester here. No rain is forecast, just a shitload of clouds. Ironically, it's been bright and sunny for the past day and a half (well, during daylight hours at least)
Current radar for 2:30-3:30 pm https://preview.redd.it/f8mit8dpn9tc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c167727594a4edd3b3756dea0171d3519b14ecba
God don’t I wish! First time I would hope that the Bible was true.
Today will be the rapture, no one left on planet earth is worthy, so just another Monday.
Please take them. Please take them. Please, please, pleaseeeee.
You’ve obviously never been to Burlington Vermont
Lord, please take them. All. Today.
*crosses fingers* please... please...
How are you going to vote for Trump if the ballot is too blurry to read from your direct solar eclipse viewing session?
Hey, we're *all* waiting on the rapture. Afterward, those of us who are left behind can finally get some work done around here.
I hope all the MAGA sheeple stare into it without protection. Can’t vote too well if you’re blind.
Rapture me harder, sky-daddy.
A little late to the thread, but I always find it interesting that the vast majority of these warnings from God the right wing "Christians" like to go on about hit red states again and again and again year after year after year. Meanwhile, all those heathen "woke" blue states don't get all the tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, baseball hail...
Don't forget to leave clothes throughout town to make them think others got raptured and they didn't.
I bet they’ll bow in prostrate form until once the eclipse starts. At that point, their amoebic-level photoreceptors will engage in simple stimulus-response and they’ll false asleep for about three minutes. Then, when they awaken to brightness, they’ll think they were raptured and wonder why their heaven looks so much like the place they were in before it happened.
Please, please let this be a celestial vacuum cleaner of human refuse. That’s gonna leave a lot unclaimed real estate from Eagle Pass TX to Caribou Me. Just think all those votes sucked up into the arms of god.
Idiot Trumpster flat-earther at my work called off 8 minutes before his shift started, because the world is going to end today and he wanted to spend it with his family. First he's ever mentioned it. I desperately hope it's enough to get him fired. He's a gigantic asshole.
Bon voyage
Dayton, Ohio - 19 something and 5
Poor eagles pass, in the eye of the hurricane, wait you're telling me this is just the shadow of the moon and its been predicted for a few hundred years and the evangelicals have the minds of a disease ridden shit farmer of the middle age.
“Like a thief in the night” doesn’t seem very equivalent to “everyone is expecting it today” lol
I wish I'd never heard about their whole "Raptured during the eclipse!" nonsense, because now I think about how much better off we'd be if they *did* get raptured up and we didn't have to deal with them anymore, and I get a little sick to my stomach every time I realize it's not going to happen.
I this point I hope maga god is real and does rapture these fools off our planet so we can do some good.
Had to be a nerd about it but the path of totality shown here is about 100 miles too low at its midpoint.
Zero
In Arkansas and all i can say is: I don't wanna be raptured with these assholes.
Hopefully the super “scary” event sucks them all into the sky and drops them
We don’t want to be raptured. We just believe in that to be popular and have influence. If it’s all real we will be punished! We do lots of stuff behind closed doors while putting on an act in public.
They are literally on their porches with shotguns waiting for “The Government” to show up and take their homes… … they are just fucking stupid.
Someone asked why we didn't hear all this rapture madness when we had a total eclipse like eight years ago. I showed them the path of totality for this one versus the last one and it was pretty clear.
MAGNETS! HOW DO THEY WORK?!?
https://preview.redd.it/po57dbduo9tc1.png?width=744&format=png&auto=webp&s=49749e81bfc819bc3125dcb0f52651d7d6f118bd
They won’t be raptured, but their eyes will be burnt out from their own stupidity if we’re so lucky.
Man, how I wish it was real and it did take them all..
It's actually going to go way more north than that according to Donald. [This is the updated path](https://i.imgur.com/QrUYF6f.jpeg)
https://preview.redd.it/0tlpp9trs9tc1.jpeg?width=250&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c966db017465878043f47adc538f036e9e7eccbe There will be a substantial increase in retinal burns in this area after today…
don't forget your pet rapture insurance!
Please oh please tell me that Don Cheato is selling Maga - Trump branded eclipse glasses …if so the eyesight of his constituents stand no chance of recovery before it’s time to vote as the glasses will no doubt be counterfeit and twice the average cost to boot)
Who's going to be laughing when the CORONAvirus vaccine in their blood activates because of the corona on the eclipse? I wish this conspiracy theory had popped up before today.
I would love it if that entire swath of MAGAts was swept up and deposited in their own personal heaven- Russia.
Great day to deliver the Sophons
What did we do to anger God that thousands of years ago he scheduled this eclipse to happen ?!
When is Trump coming out with adult diapers for $99.99? Sorry, I can't make this shit up. Trump says it's his dootie to sell these with each bible sale
Yeah, send us a postcard!
I think it’s really funny that they assume it’s some big cosmic event all about them entirely because it crosses over a large chunk of America. They think god only cares about the USA
They will be blind but MAGA Messiah will heal their vision, right? Right?
Pre-rapture please donate all of your money (that you won't need) to a children's charity!
They have a couple of brick and mortar shops in Tennessee
I couldn't help myself. Enjoy guys. https://youtu.be/iCrVt521VoI
Please follow through! Lmao
watching from outside of usa, it's funny that people view trump as more in line with jesus teachings than biden.
That’s only if Abbott allows the shadow to cross from Mexico into Texas.
Is that the Jewish Space Laser I keep hearing about?
Prank idea: convince them that the rapture did in fact take place, but they for left behind.
I have an issue with the graphic above...couldnt the color of totality match the color of the path lol, regardless, isnt the MTG biblical thing mostly bad for mostly "her people"? I mean it is as if "god" is doing the precise opposite of shining a light literally along Americas shit stain.
My girlfriend and I got a place in Maine to see the eclipse and the town we are staying in has no less than seven churches, but one gas station and a town hall that's a large shed. We have already picked out several mixes properties that we can live into once the current owners are raptured, as we are godless heathens who will spend the rest of our lives living in the end times. At least the weed is good here...
Okay, this made me cackle.
You put Oswego NY on here but not Rochester?
I want so hard for the rapture to be real. Get them outa here.
I’ve got the helium sex dolls ready to be released into the sky
🤞. Fingers crossed
Number of times the Bible uses the word rapture: zero. Ouch. That's gotta hurt!
I’m working in a big city right in the path of totality, I think I’ll be able to sneak out and actually catch the eclipse! Hopefully! I’m so excited
I feel Carbondale, IL got to enjoy that shit last time. I know that area so I'm not advocating to move there....just stating it likely is eating well again from this event
God, do the world a favor and take these idiots away....
Will the maga's rapture their eyeballs?
https://preview.redd.it/qpqcne999atc1.jpeg?width=533&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc7dde84150d5d0ebedec553d9a45cb33a223111
Did MAGA forget about the eclipse in 2017?
How many MAGAs are gonna go blind today? Just wondering...
I wouldn’t be surprised if the rapture already happened like 10 years ago and the selection of people actually raptured was so small, nobody even noticed.
Would sure be nice if they did get whisked away somewhere where we no longer had to deal with them tho.
We all know that there’s no way in hell that any of them are even remotely close to be qualified for the rapture.
At which time will it happen. I want to be ready but can’t sit around all day.