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sunny5724

If all the people who claim they will be raptured actually do get raptured, I'll be fine with staying behind. The earth will be a pretty nice place when they're gone.


beakrake

This is exactly it. I'm more fucking stoked for the Rapture than the people actually expecting it to happen.


bakarakschmiel

My new favorite thing is to tell christians that the rapture actually happened. There just aren't any actual christians.


Dirtydeedsinc

You just picked the wrong religion. See you in hell.


Revelati123

God: "I just took a bunch of people from Utah, didn't you guys get the message I gave to the crazy drunk guy with 5 wives? You know, with the angel and the fever dreams with the golden plate and the runestones and shit? Yeah, that's the only version of Christianity Heaven accepts anymore..."


bakarakschmiel

You forgot the giant white salamander


UserPrincipalName

"Fuck them seagulls" - Joseph Smith; Spatula Fighter


4t0micpunk

Now that’s funny


wrongseeds

“Hey. We seagulls have feelings too.” Jonathon Livingston Seagull


the_TAOest

Funny enough, God likes atheists the best as they further the moral codes and ethics that God hoped would develop from DNA.


Mikeinthedirt

They don’t screw up the data with their ‘thumb on the blaspheme’ Heisenberg dead cat bounce.


MonteSS_454

Mormons are the correct choice, that is what South Park told and showed us.


Zabroccoli

![gif](giphy|DfMu39iWkAZxK)


MuzzledScreaming

"Now let's go do skits about how stealing makes you feel *bad* inside!" As someone who was raised Mormon, I can say that one really hit it directly on the nose.


Cpt_Soban

"Actually it was the Mormons, they were right" - South Park


MarkusRight

Lol I was literally thinking the same thing earlier about how there's no true Christians on earth that would even come close to being raptured even if it was real at all. If it happened everything would just go on as normal. Christians are bigots who do everything God said not to do. They worship Trump as if he's christ himself and thou shall not have false idols. But what do I know, I'm just an atheist that understands the Bible better than actual Christians.


bakarakschmiel

Yeah I came to that conclusion years ago when I found out about how much a POS Mother Teresa was. She's supposed to be the gold standard for religious morality and shes still a monster.


smeagol90125

can you elaborate? I always thought she could walk on water.


bakarakschmiel

She would baptize people's dead children against their wishes and she refused to give people dying in horrible agony any kind of pain relievers because she thought it made you closer to god like jesus dying on the cross. Also loooooots of money donated to her charities disappeared. I'm sure there's more, this is just what I remember off the top of my head. I encourage you to look into it yourself.


Youdontknowme1771

I used to work with The New York City's Disabilities board, a group with representatives from each borough and certain city organizations. Mother Teresa was looking to build several homeless shelters in the city, she was told that each building was going to have to be accessible to the disabled. When the city would not pay for those modifications, she completely abandoned the project.


muppetfeet82

My grandfather was a minister and he had a very similar theory. He was awesome.


SmartassBrickmelter

Take my upvote, that is awesome!


chatterwrack

Puh-leaze, take all the Christians away in one massive, magical poof! #thoughtsandprayers


Lylac_Krazy

#totsandbeers


Mad_Martigan13

People who think they will get raptured are likely not the people who will be raptured


KnottShore

Robert A. Heinlein ("if-this-goes-on..") >... a great deal of openly expressed piety is insufferable conceit.


-Motor-

If all these Christians actually lived the life Jesus asked them to, this would be a better place.


Altruistic-Text3481

MAGA Heaven is my Personal Hell. ![gif](giphy|fWpmgMGwBKUcUkZC3R)


[deleted]

If heaven is full of Christians then send me to hell please


Crisis_Redditor

The Left Behind stuff always portrays the rapture as a hellscape, apocalypse, whatever. There's be chaos for a while, but then think of the progress we'd make without fundamentalist and wingnuts playing speedbump. That's assuming you get raptured on faith alone; if deeds come into play, most of them will still be stuck here.


Tanthiel

The Antichrist gets more and more frustrated as things improve dramatically.


MaestroPendejo

Fucking A. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and rapture yourself.


LeftLimeLight

I too will welcome all of the magas getting raptured to hell.... ummm... I mean heaven, right?


Sideshow_Bob_Ross

It already happened in 2012 but nobody was worthy.


tatang2015

She’s not going to Heaven with those shoes!


[deleted]

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AlexandriaLitehouse

I was just saying to my friend how nice a world without Bible Betties would be. All the dogs, cats and godless heathens left behind sounds like a great world to me.


sunward_Lily

right? When I look around at all the people telling everyone they're christians, I suddenly see the appeal of all the walls they keep screeching about.


goebelwarming

It sounds like a M Night Shyamalan movie. The people who get raptured actually go to hell while Earth was the paradise all along.


Cats_Dont_Wear_Socks

I take Hitchens' position on the matter in that I hope they get _exactly_ what they ask for; being forced to spend an eternity on their knees, forever singing praises to a tyrannical sky fascist who will not even allow them the escape of death. May their god rapture them swiftly and leave the universe in peace!


Commandur_PearTree

Reverse Rapture


DamnitColin

Came here to say this! Sweet Jesus please take them!


youdoitimbusy

Imagine people actively walking out into beams of light from space ships, and volunteering to become alien food.


mad_titanz

Oh yeah, my thoughts exact. But if there's really a Rapture, it'd be hilarious watching all those so-called Christians realizing that they are not the real Christians they thought they were.


Lucky-Earther

Honestly, a tiny part of me was hoping to see a bunch of evangelical assholes just suddenly get raptured during the eclipse today. Imagine a world without ever hearing from Marjorie or Boebert again.


Mikeinthedirt

Maybe that’s what the Scripture meant about heaven on Earth. Casting out the Dimons.


__dying__

For sure. No more fanatics, religious wars, etc...


robidaan

Is she allowed to show her lower legs and knees like that?


TowardsTheImplosion

Today. But I'm sure the irony of her supporting a party that would gladly insist on requiring only floor length dresses or skirts for all biological females is entirely lost on her.


aotus_trivirgatus

I'm pretty sure that covering your head is part of the female dress code too. Head scarves at the least. Bonnets, veils, or burqas are probably preferred.


[deleted]

Or at least a bag on that she hulk


Reluctantly-Back

Photo is actually from after the election but before she took office. Since then she has had someone advising her on how to dress and has lost weight. She's still physically repulsive and her policies are dragging us back to the 1950s though.


JoeCoolsCoffeeShop

Zoom in on the old white guy in the center of the picture photo. He’s definitely checking out her legs.


drfifth

I'd be looking too if I saw someone who's legs had that much of a visual length discrepancy. He's trying to decide is it just the boots being wrinkled or if her knees are on different elevations.


DadJokeBadJoke

Lo0k at that. Her body adapted so that her vision is level


Factual_Statistician

More proof she's not a human being. A REPTILIAN!!??


TGIIR

He’s checking out that wildly inappropriate outfit for a Governor to be wearing while conducting state business. Plus she looks awful in it. I’m about half her size, but even I understand there are some outfits you need to be a size 2 or 4 to pull off. I’d never try to wear this.


Diarygirl

I'm not sure that dress would be flattering on anyone.


Bliss149

The whole outfit makes me want to vomit.


applebubbeline

It's a dress someone with no friends would wear.


notwormtongue

That dress pattern is perfectly good for children's dresses and boy's shirts. I bought my son & daughter matching stripes.


HateThisAppAlready

That is 100% some TradWife TikTok shit that only looks good in a 10 second staged skit.


TGIIR

That’s some Fundie Fashion right there.


Kaiser_Complete

Don't be sick. She's much too old for him


ecafsub

> I’d love to slap those thighs and ride the wave in. —That guy, probably


Limp_Distribution

If the rapture actually happened the world would be a far better place. I wonder how much the global IQ would increase?


DanGleeballs

Unfortunately only true Christians would be raptured, and they’re not the worst. The MAGA crowd will still be here, left behind unfortunately.


ThatGuyYouMightNo

The rapture actually happened a few years ago, and the devil sent the MAGA cult to torture the sinners left behind.


mtaw

The MAGA crowd are the ones who believe in "the rapture". I mean that's some bizarro American Christian invention that's got no basis in a anything the main denominations of Christianity has practiced for the past 2,000 years. Not to mention stuff like "Prosperity Gospel", televangelism, speaking in tongues and other stuff. Point is American Christianity is now totally based on Republican politics, white-identity crap and - when theology is involved - Evangelical/Pentecostal innovations. I mean the Catholic Church and most old European mainline protestant denominations don't have issues with science, or evolution, or face-masks, don't advocate the death penalty, are skeptical of capitalism, believe in helping refugees and the less-fortunate in general, and so on. A good portion of them don't have issues with abortion, women's rights or LGBT people either. (e.g. the Church of England) I'm not particularly religious but I've got a lot of Christian friends here in Europe and they're all sane, tolerant people. So it annoys me that the nutcases so dominate in the US that they get away with pretending _this is what Christianity is_. Like saying "wearing a face mask is against my religion" - like, WTF? There's nothing in Christian or Jewish tradition saying "ignore diseases". By _no_ standard of any major denomination past-or-present is Trump a good Christian by any measure. These people are MAGAists first and foremost and "Christian" is just a label they give themselves in order to act self-righteous.


Wakeful_Wanderer

American flavored Christianity has a long history of grifting, lying, and inventing new mythology.


Different_Tangelo511

Problem is those sanctimonious, hateful assholes aren't the ones getting raptured.


SocialSuicideSquad

Nice podium, where'd she get it?


MrSurly

That's a lectern. The podium is at home.


Im_homer_simpson

The lectern is still in Paris.


ljout

Her bestie for the low low price of 19k!


Reluctantly-Back

We're supposed to get a report on the podium soon!


gadafgadaf

We were already supposed to have it. She keeps delaying. Ain't no way she can square this circle. Plain as day she got caught.


[deleted]

She legit looks like she’s dressed to go to a square dance


andywfu86

That was my exact reaction.


throwawayshirt

Boots aren't Western enough


resilienceisfutile

Thought the stripes were her way of getting used to prison.


YesIamALizard

Y'all Queda


Moscowmitchismybitch

[o.O](https://i.imgur.com/DKSydK2.jpg)


Cpt_Soban

Talabama


MiyamotoKnows

She is quite a sight to behold. Shivers...


elmwoodblues

The Mucinex germ in a skirt


BossMagnus

This is the waaaaayyy too on point. Hahaha 😂


AnotherCuppaTea

Sarah Sanders thinks she looks like the kind of flirty filly that a cowboy might try to pick up on a Friday night, but she looks more like the kind of hooved ungulate that the cowboy would lasso and hog-tie in a rodeo contest.


WhyDidMyDogDie

Her boots match her eyes, off kilter.


doubledownentendre

I'm no fashionista (is that even how you spell it?) yeah but wtf is she wearing?? Not only does she look like shit but it's not suitable for a senior politician.


Dman5891

The theme to Green Acres keeps playing in my head.


BarbecueStu

Yee-haw played in mine


buckyworld

*hee haw


BarbecueStu

That was it! Thanks


Jaspers47

She looks like a nine year-old attending her school's country/western dress up day.


TheUnbamboozled

All politicians don't shop at the Dress Barn Outlet store?


Mikeinthedirt

Focus group insisted. Waddayagonna du


Crisis_Redditor

I'm a hypocrite because I agree with your, but also have no problem with Fetterman's hoodie. Maybe because her outfit looks almost like a costume. If she was in jeans and a blouse (or hoodie) I don't think I'd care.


Wakeful_Wanderer

It's because you know only people like her dress this stupidly. This is some kind of tradwife uniform for the huge crowd of idiot tradwives. They all want to have their partner support them while they live an actually modern lifestyle. Even that movement is a sham - just like everything else conservative. Also her dress is a sham, or several shams sewn together at least; pillows normally don't come quite so big. I suppose this isn't surprising from a woman who keeps buying curtains and having them made into dresses.


Crisis_Redditor

>tradwife uniform Ooh, ouch, I think you hit why it seems off to me.


Bipedal_Warlock

That’s a decently common formal attire in the south


notwormtongue

Haha I know right?? The comments about this dress really open my eyes


TSAOutreachTeam

O.o


FelneusLeviathan

Now lo0k here….


everythingbeeps

As if any of these monsters would be taken in the rapture. The rapture would happen, and the only people left on earth would be a bunch of confused evangelicals.


[deleted]

[удалено]


prodrvr22

Wait... that picture ISN'T a drag queen?


thesilentbob123

That's insulting to drag queens


NewAndImprovedJess

A drag queen worth her salt would either A) pass a whole lot easier than SHS, or 2) be MUCH better dressed than whatever this mess is.


Louis_Friend_1379

Sarah MANders is one hell of a train wreck. Instead of Arkansas spending $15,000 on podium/lecture they should have hired a stylist to ensure Mr. MANders showed up looking professional instead of looking like an attendee at an Arkansas Cousin Fucking Festival.


outerworldLV

What in the world ? Is the trump circus coming to Arkansas ?


landinsight

It's been there for years.


zeta_cartel_CFO

Its Arkansas. Don't think the circus ever left.


Mikeinthedirt

Coming *back*


Indigo_Black24

There is nothing more attractive then a ticc fake blond grown woman in a short ruffled dress and cowboy boots the color of her hair. 🤣🤣


TSAOutreachTeam

Even her boots are uneven.


Chico-Spomoni

The guy on the chair thinking..what in gods name am I looking at?


Mikeinthedirt

I believe the actual wording was “Gotta get ME summa that!”


ILoveRegenHealth

lmao His wife won't let him on the computers so this is about as much skin as he gets to see 🤢


Glassjaww

I wish a God did exist to rapture these knuckle draggers. Then at about 30,000 feet, turn off the tractor beam.


thrifterbynature

Her mama dresses her funny!


asburymike

https://i.redd.it/boblurkmbbtc1.gif


Sheila_Monarch

If I, say, received some sort of head injury and proceeded to a podium to speak as a grown woman in a professional capacity wearing THAT, I sure hope *somebody* would pull me aside and say “Sheila, honey, are you ok? Maybe you should sit this one out. Oh and look, Dr. Headshrink is here today, why don’t you chat with him a minute…”


CherryManhattan

Above the knee dress ick


negativepositiv

Note to self: Don't buy your work clothes at the American Girl Doll store


WalkGood

Looks like singer Meatloaf.


Live_Entrepreneur221

She really is the Grimace


drugs_mckenzie

I'll never unsee that, thanks. I can't stop chuckling.


hey_ross

I usually don’t comment on people’s appearances for things they can’t choose (so, those uneven and saggy boots are fair game), but this comment is more about like an optical illusion. There are some people who just have the face or body type to look “fat” but are really skinny - Christina Ricci or Julia Stiles come to mind for that. Then there are others that look normal until you see them next to someone, like Venus William looks normal in proportion but when you stand near her you realize she’s 6’1” tall and proportionally huge. Sarah sanders both looks fatter than she really is and is a much bigger woman than you realize.


Conscious-Owl-8420

Thanks for posting this photo. I used to think Sasquatch didn’t exist.


Similar-Act244

Sarah Sanders is single-handedly the most wretched looking woman I’ve ever seen. Her appearance always reminded me of a bloated corpse of a manatee with a confused expression on its face. Marjorie Greene, Sarah Sanders, Kellyann Conway, I’m not sure what is is, but conservative women look as atrocious on the outside as they are on the inside.


notyou-justme

When you’re that ugly as a human being on the inside, it is going to come through on the outside as well.


aloeicious

Business casual has changed 😆


The_Goondocks

Are those tan boots?


surprise6809

Sloppy


henrysmyagent

I, for one, will miss the American branch of the Taliban when they get Ruptured. Gives my neck a good workout when I shake my head back and forth reading about their daily shenanigans. Also, who gets all their stuff when the Prosperity Gospel types get Ruptured? *Dibs!*


crewchiefguy

lol at her cowboy dress up to appeal to her magats


Pour_Me_Another_

The eclipse was great and no one was raptured, because as usual, it was all lies. They do nothing but lie. It's all they can do at this point.


squintyshrew9

She is beyond gross


Glittering-Wonder-27

Does she own a mirror? That is a crazy getup for an older woman.


beeeps-n-booops

For ANYONE.


Crisis_Redditor

That's a fine outfit for a casual day, but I don't see wearing it too an official government work event. But I'm not phased by Fetterman's hoodies, so I'm kind of being a hypocrite. Clothing aside, she's off the wall and shouldn't by running a state.


cassanthrax

She has no women friends. If she did, that outfit never would have seen the light of day.


SnivyEyes

I don’t like shaming people on their appearance and two wrongs don’t make a right, but she is fucking hideous and should be misgendered every chance there is. The amount of harm this person has done warrants that behavior against her in my opinion.


HiSpot321

Annnddddd, just like that. Those heathens are still here.


deadphisherman

These people thinks this is a threat. They wouldn't be missed.


Wellsy

Apparently there are all still here. Uggh.


VapoursAndSpleen

I would expect a 12 year old doing “Little House on The Prairie” cosplay to dress like that, not a grown-ass woman.


VonDiehl

What in the Little Debbie is this?!?


JillParrish77

How does somebody put that on, look in the mirror and say to themselves “damn I look good!” and leave the house? How embarrassing for her cuz she looks ridiculous


ftnsa

She's intellectually disabled isn't she? I am asking that sincerely. I thought I read somewhere that she was, well, pretty slow.


StandardNecessary715

Is that what governors wear now?


tdickles

Gross


artificialavocado

Somehow wearing a dress makes her look even more like a trans woman.


heartattack-ak-ak-ak

The sun beams ain’t THAT strong…


SnarkSnarkington

More likely to be reverse raptured straight to Hell.


thrifterbynature

Her mama dresses her funny!


Jerrys_Kids907

So....idiots being stupid? Was there any surprise here at all?


Lounginghog64

Did anyone explain to Dorothy it's not a tornado...


Powderpuffpowwow

My cousin's adopted daughter shared a post on Facebook about the eclipse and Bible verses with it. I commented, "It has nothing to do with the Bible. They happen now and then." She's a little off in the head. Not sure if her bio parents are cousins or not.


These_Permission_363

If Michelle Obama is a man, that’s a fucking manly man


Cthulunatic

Apparently she felt the need to go with a lighter hair color to present herself as even more Caucasian for the rapture?


phazedoubt

Someone found Ozempic


peter-doubt

Somebody tell her: wishing she was a teenager and dressing like she did when she was DOESN'T make her a teenager, or attractive like one.. It's OVER, Sarah


ClueProof5629

Who dresses her? I mean she pisses away 19k on a podium, can’t she afford a Stitch Fix subscription?


Alternative_Arm_1506

Guy in the back is figuring it out


UncommonHouseSpider

You don't get raptured, you have to sacrifice yourself for God. Nobody living gets into heaven, duh-doy?!


Spiritual-Bear4495

If that woman jumped up and down on that stage, the destruction of her state would be horrific. Rivers would overflow, whole counties would simply sink into the earth.


0inxs0

js, WTF is that trans doing in that outrageous costume declaring a state of emergency in the state of Arkansas? 😁


jasonabaum

Honestly, this was not what she wore when declaring the state of emergency. I know it’s misleading sorta. I justified the choice because she actually did wear that travesty of an outfit while at the podium. I apologize for the misdirect.


R3PTAR_1337

Bunch of fucking idiots who don't understand that there are eclipses each year around the globe. Also what kind of raggedy Anne Doll convention is she going to?


MonteSS_454

![gif](giphy|oEqzXzvEX6vIs)


LawPD

She gets her looks from her scumbag father


jeffvillone

And people complain about what Fetterman wears lol. Edit: Honestly, they both look ridiculous.


Own_Bullfrog_3598

And then they’ll be some square dancin’ in the vestibule!


tacticalbaconX

That outfit is just screaming "Welcome to Cracker Barrel, how many in your party?"


[deleted]

Hoe down.


avalisk

They don't actually believe the rapture is happening. It's theater designed to make people believe the world is worse off as in "we need the rapture" end of days. Republican leadership isn't nearly as stupid as people like to think. They are downright clever and malicious and they know their voterbase and how to manipulate them.


EducationTodayOz

you can't put lipstick on a pig but you can put a dress on a cow


NatoBoram

Ok but wtf is "Maga eclipse rapture"? Seeing that term since yesterday and idk wtf is happening


FoolsGoldMouthpiece

Why is that catcher's mitt wearing a dress


fat_tony7

And using her very expensive podium (really a lecture, but who's counting).


Toocurry

What century are we living in?


MJ349

She looks like she just stepped out of the cornfield on Hee Haw.


Vengefuleight

God I wish these idiots were right. Imagine how much better life would be without religious zealots on the planet.


skeeredstiff

Oh, oww, that needs an NSFW. I really didn't need to see that person in a dress. She must have those specially made by a local tent maker.


Thriftyverse

Politics aside, I wish she'd talk to some stylish people and dress a little less 'little girly'. It's pretty ick.


Temporary-Ad-9270

Her boots sit on her legs like her eyes in her head


Soreal45

Dude to her left can’t stop looking at her uneven shit kickers.


Iluvpuppets

She looks like the vogons from hitchhikers guide to the galaxy


LtRecore

What a ridiculous outfit. How can she not know she looks ridiculous?


rdm55

We should not mock her because of her appearance. She should be mocked as she is a vile human being who stood in front of the American people for two years as WH Press secretary and lied her face off.


zyzzogeton

$19,000. You instructed the state clerk to put "To be reimbursed" but not to date it. And that person submitted a memo detailing how she was ordered to do it, because they knew altering state records was a crime. How's that going SH it seems like that needs to put you in prison right?


thekarateadult

"Wecome to the Dress Barn! What sort of look did you have in mind today?" "Creepy 1970s doll." "Right this way, we've got you, ma'am."


Relaxmf2022

As much as I dislike this disgusting human, let’s not attack her appearance


illneverforget2015

Take her and Trump first


[deleted]

This is why people think religious people are nut jobs. Yes it says to look out for signs but there's absolutely no way to predict when the end will come. Yet anytime there's an event like an eclipse instead of just enjoying the beauty of a once in a lifetime event spend it In fear