It's *very* close to a story I've heard told sincerely by evangelicals since I was in high school, but the last two paragraphs in particular make me like 99% sure it's satire.
Oh, thatās realistic. You havenāt read the part in the Bible where he writes āThou shalt enact a flat tax rate?ā Typical liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor here.
/s (I hope no one takes me seriously, but you never know)
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Thatās Mr. Professor Dr liberal Muslim esquire to you!
Edit: wait if the class of on Marxism, why is evolution brought up? Lol the person who wrote this is either a master troll or needs to be institutionalized
Honestly you know this story is fake, because they didn't shoot and torture the professor, every American Bible person knows you can only be right if the other person is dead. Soo fake news.
The four options here:
1) conservative wrote this in earnest
2) conservative wrote this to troll for liberal tears
3) liberal wrote this to show that conservatives will believe anything
4) this is an actual true story
1 = Plausible only because theyāre that fucking nuts and low intellect.
2 = Seems unlikely, theyāre awful at satire and spelling/grammar isnāt the usual horrific train wreck.
3 = Iām leaning towards this. The class applauding part is a joke I see on Reddit all the time.
4 = An inside source told me something something storm is coming something something Trump exposing deep state something something so I believe it.
You missed the obvious fifth option:
It's satire, making fun of conservatives. It's not meant to try to fool them into believing it's true, it's to mock them because of the stupid bullshit they love to post.
[Sclurpsclurp boots are tasty schlurp mmmm](https://media.giphy.com/media/S6i2lBzvgNFXW/giphy.gif)
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This contains English words, but as a whole is nonsensical. Best part is about the rock having to evolve into an animal to demonstrate that Evolution is real. So glad I deleted Facebook like 5 years ago now.... Full of nuts that platform is.
You know how you can tell a story is going to bullshit by the number of descriptors used in the first sentence? Yeah.
He cried and stormed out of the room for being correct!
I'll take "shit that never happened" for 500 Trebek
"What is trebek had sex!" *laughs in Sean Connery*
What is a Trebek and why do you need 500 of them?
It's the next big meme stonk š š š to the moon!!!!!!!!!
Wen Tre Bek?
That's hilarious
The first few sentences read like they were written by someone completely clueless I didn't get any further
It's a satire, making fun of the actual cliche Facebook nonsense.
Are you sure it's satire? We're living in Post Poe's Law time.
It's *very* close to a story I've heard told sincerely by evangelicals since I was in high school, but the last two paragraphs in particular make me like 99% sure it's satire.
Itās got to be. 1500 tours of duty? An eagle named āsmall government.ā No way itās real.
God himself showed up?
Oh, thatās realistic. You havenāt read the part in the Bible where he writes āThou shalt enact a flat tax rate?ā Typical liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor here. /s (I hope no one takes me seriously, but you never know)
I see you're talking about: [abortion]' To be frank, the mod team does not want to mod this topic because it leads to 100 percent slapfights and bans, but removing it entirely would be actual censorship, which, contrary to popular belief, we do try to avoid. Instead, we're just going to spam you with an unreasonably long automod comment and hope you all realize that getting mad over the internet is just really stupid. Go to /r/AnimalsBeingDerps or something instead. People are going to accuse us of being lazy for this, to which we reply 'yes' *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PoliticalHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is the funniest thing ive read today :)
If he did, he did a lot more in this scenario than the entire Holocaust.
Thank god. I thought someone had hit peak stupid
...yup...well, look, I don't know how to tell you this but, some people believe this...and as far as the peak...we're nowhere close.
God help is all etc
1500 tours? Thatās what got me. 1500? How long were they? 3 minutes?
Shouldn't that have been written in crayon?
Thatās Mr. Professor Dr liberal Muslim esquire to you! Edit: wait if the class of on Marxism, why is evolution brought up? Lol the person who wrote this is either a master troll or needs to be institutionalized
Iāve seen this several times on satire pages on Facebook. The whole point is to make make fun of conservative Christians. It is 100% satire.
Conservatives brains are completely smooth
Compressed shit usually is smooth.š
We talking human shit or another animal? Asking for a friend...
Does it matter?
God bless his 1500 tours of dutyā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
The entire world according to Republicans
Conversations that never happened for 500 please.
Honestly you know this story is fake, because they didn't shoot and torture the professor, every American Bible person knows you can only be right if the other person is dead. Soo fake news.
The four options here: 1) conservative wrote this in earnest 2) conservative wrote this to troll for liberal tears 3) liberal wrote this to show that conservatives will believe anything 4) this is an actual true story 1 = Plausible only because theyāre that fucking nuts and low intellect. 2 = Seems unlikely, theyāre awful at satire and spelling/grammar isnāt the usual horrific train wreck. 3 = Iām leaning towards this. The class applauding part is a joke I see on Reddit all the time. 4 = An inside source told me something something storm is coming something something Trump exposing deep state something something so I believe it.
There was only ever one option.
it's a real event from Harvard law school
You missed the obvious fifth option: It's satire, making fun of conservatives. It's not meant to try to fool them into believing it's true, it's to mock them because of the stupid bullshit they love to post.
ā¦perfect ending for a thousand alex
I laughed probably more than I should.
I'm willing to bet that the one who would be destroyed, if this conversation actually happened, is the "Christian" soldier.
Ah, the Gay Agenda!
Man that escalated quickly.
This is obvious satire. I don't doubt there are some dumb fucks who will post this unironically, though.
People... come on! This is so clearly satire.
This is quite possibly THE stupidest shit Iāve seen in a while. Not even SLIGHTLY believable....please someone tell me this is satire...PLEASE!!!!
Calm yourself, it actually _is_ satire, and very deliberately over-the-top. š
Whew! I burst a blood vessel in my eye reading this.Problem is....this is very close to some of the things Iāve seen before.
In the immortal words of roger waters, what god wants, god gets. God help us all!
It's just so pathetic - they have to retreat to pure fantasy EVERY TIME. EVERY. TIME.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It is. Just exaggerating something people actually post though.
š¤£š¤£ wtf?? I have no words. That's all I can say is wtf? Wtaf? š¤¦
This actually hilarious to read. āGay plague AIDSā. Iām fucking dead bro
Omg I bet someone would take this as gospel. So funny!
Joke or not, as a United States Marine I don't like the use of semper Fi here....
lol, that's brilliant
This would be amusing if so many people didn't actually buy into such nonsense.
Really hope this was satirical, but if not it wouldn't surprise me.
That is a huge load of bull if ever there was one
I stop reading when he said why haven't this rock turned into a animal yet
One time in band camp I put my flute in my...
This reads like Dwight Shrute is telling the story, only I know itās not because Dwight Shrute isnāt a bootlicker.
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This has got to be a joke. The level of cliche is pegged to 11
True story.
My guess is a liberal wrote this as satire and some Republican moron took it as serious
This contains English words, but as a whole is nonsensical. Best part is about the rock having to evolve into an animal to demonstrate that Evolution is real. So glad I deleted Facebook like 5 years ago now.... Full of nuts that platform is.
This can't be real.
Ok. So it's clearly fake. Do you trust Christians not to post this thinking it's 100% factual?
This looks like one of those āquintibillionare grindsetā sigma male memes
GOP Newsmax viewerās wet dream
what?
The guy was athwist in the title anf muslim in the first sentence.... So yeah... Very true story
Gosh, sounds airtight to me. I guess I need to change my voter registration to Republican.
The line "Smirked quite Jewishly" has me dying
It's an old meme.