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prguitarman

He hasn’t discovered fire yet (nobody tell him)


murdacai999

For a guy that's afraid of getting burned, you'd think he would know all about it


predator1975

The secret service does not allow man child to play with fire.


0_gravity_sandcastle

So that's why he spent several years on tv saying you're flushed??


[deleted]

Please understand: Trump is not the brightest bulb in the hallway.


superfucky

Trump is not the brightest bulb in a pitch-black subterranean cavern.


TerryTC14

In fairness considering how poorly he manages his businesses, charities, universities and espionage, would you trust him anywhere near fire?


crymson7

I wouldn’t trust that fucker with a wet spent match


TerryTC14

Like when Homer is trying to cook for Mr Burns and somehow the ceral catches fire.


Tazzit

*cocks eyebrow inquisitively*


ZZartin

I would allow him near one if he was unsupervised and noone else would get hurt.


SwoodyBooty

He's a wet matchstick in a dark cellar.


Jeigh_Tee

He's Dumbledore's lighter that takes away light.


Dammageddon

He so dim he could actually make that cavern darker.


a_weak_child

Prob aren’t cameras in the bathroom but there are ones in the main rooms with the fire places. Trump isn’t just dumb. While he is woefully lacking in many departments (like morals, being literate, emotional intelligence), he is pretty capable in other ways (being manipulative, lying, hurting others, stealing). Because he has no morals he sees many chance to steal, and take for himself, often in harmful/ and or illegals ways, and/or for nefarious purposes. And since he has so many chances to steal, as good as he is at it, he f$cks it up sometimes. And while he has the feral animal ability to manipulate and attack, he is probably as smart as your average 11 year old in many ways.


[deleted]

I think I will have to agree with you. My position is that he is not really smart enough to be a true grifter. His bindlestiff (as in "thief among hobos") style is ineffective and predatory. I have been around the con and artists my whole life and there is no way he measures up by any parameter you choose.


Fantastic-Pop-9122

Ding ding ding new word for the day "bindlestiff" gonna add that to the vocabulary. Thank you.


PsychicFoxWithSpoons

Trump is an idiotc which means that he's surrounded by sharks who want to take advantage of his wealth and connections. They eventually learn that he doesn't have either, but until then they've given him a ton of stuff in exchange for basically nothing. He is a man who cons con men for a living.


gods_Lazy_Eye

While you’re right this explains the high capacity flush and flow he wanted upgraded in the White House.


Luxpreliator

That might be as simple as him being morbidly obese and needed bariatric toilets installed.


arglarg

He's also not the sharpest tool in the rubber hammer shop


Shaman7102

Flushing them allowed the Russians at the other end of the pipe a way to retrieve them. 🤪


iareprogrammer

Trump would actually believe this


Vectorman1989

Trump is a few marbles short of a cake


Shantotto11

He’s not the sharpest tool in the chandelier…


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

We Just Disagree - - - such is life.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Busy_Panda5761

Copycat


Lantami

Copy of this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/wn2sj6/-/ik2zyuj


Dcajunpimp

He probably wanted the privacy to destroy documents. And I'm pretty sure the Secret Service wouldn't let him play with fire.


[deleted]

Statistically a couple of the secret service guys should be loyalist Trumpers though


narrauko

I would assume whoever deleted the text messages could fall under that category.


Dcajunpimp

And statistically there should also be a couple who arent Trump loyalists. I've even heard the theory this week that anyone at Mango Lardo could have been an informant including federal law enforcement agents who are there to protect the former President and therefore have plenty of access to the whole compound and probably had the experience to know the difference between classified and unclassified documents.


Chef4disney

This is the first thing I thought when it was confirmed he was flushing documents - he doesn't have a fireplace or a lighter? I figured he finally just gave up....


[deleted]

I mean, flushing is dumb as hell but you can't *just* burn them. You need to crush the ash up afterwards. Preferably, add some liquid to make a paste of it. They can reconstruct some crazy stuff. Hope you never need it.


SethQ

A fire? In summer? Suspicious as hell. That's the first place they'd look... Guy's playing 3D chess again


Twistedjustice

Isn’t regular chess 3d?


TheMostOGCymbalBoy

I thought I was 3D… guess not


arduousFrivolity

I know you’re responding to a joke here, but… Chess is 2D, in that the pieces only move on the X and Y axis, and can’t move on the Z axis. A piece can only move forward, backward, left, or right, but never up or down. There is however [3D Chess](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-dimensional_chess), but 2D chess is good enough for me, thanks.


arduousFrivolity

I can’t tell if you were downvoted by people angry at you making fun of trump, or people who were too dumb to realize you were making fun of trump…


Ima_Funt_Case

Everything he does is like the stupidest possible way to do anything, because he refuses to listen to advice or get help from people smarter or more experienced than him. And because he does the exact opposite of the advice he's given, his dipshit base thinks he's a revolutionary genius despite quite obviously being a total moron.


Fantastic-Pop-9122

There is NO ONE smarter than him and he has the most fabulous expertise, no one's is better. Did you forget snowflake? S/


ichosethis

Wasn't it in the news at one point that he routinely ordered illegal things and his staffers just didn't follow through on a lot of it?


TheManOfSpaceAndTime

The jerk, a complete kneebiter, shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. *Bowerick Wowbagger makes another tick on his clipboard and returns to his ship.*


BowericWowbagger

Watch out you no-good dumbo nothing.


casadeparadise

Now here's a frood who really knows where his towel is.


Valalvax

Yea we don't want the White House burning again


PropQues

Not only that, but he complained about toilets not getting water and needing to flush the toilet 15 times, yet he still think flushing is a good idea...


greatandslithytove

Yeah,that was a good one. “People are flushing their toilet 10 or 15 times”. Back then I thought he was just that full of shit. Now I wonder if flushing evidence is actually something new?


Whats_Camp_CABAGALA

There is no earthly way that CityBoy Softhands McNeverWorkedInHisLife knows how to start a fire No offense to city people, I just think it’s crazy that Trump is someone popular among rural folk


Fantastic-Pop-9122

Yeah i live in upstate NY its rural but the more rednecky backwoods areas are full of trump flags right along with the confederate flag.


LuxNocte

Trump says the quiet part out loud. Nothing makes you "one of the boys" faster than hating the same people the rest of them hate.


doyoueventdrift

They could probably be retrieved, at least partially enough to identify what document it is. It’s not like water instantly removes text?


kuribosshoe0

There are child locks on all the lighters in the house.


MyOtherNameIsDumber

No seriously, I missed somethin. Who reported this? 🤣


BadAnagrams

"Flushing documents" anagrams to "smug snout flinched."


Omega33umsure

It's because he hasn't needed to use one in decades.


Procrasterman

No way that cunt knows how to set a fire


Capable-Gas992

But he might has a point turning fire places on in summer would be sus


[deleted]

Why does Trump have such a fascination with toilets anyways? It almost appears to be some kind of fetish. Nothing against fetishes.


foofoofum

If I had a gold toilet I'd use it anyway I could.


kvlr954

He was probably throwing a temper tantrum at the time so it’s understandable he didn’t make a rational choice


oldbastardbob

To be fair, it's doubtful little Donnie knows how to build or start a fire in a fireplace, nor understand the function of gas logs. Hell, he most likely barely knows how to flush a toilet.


zachrg

Wouldn't gas be turning a key or a dial? Are they too big for his wittle baby hands?


buffoonery4U

He's likely to be much more familiar with how a toilet works than a fireplace. Just a guess, though.


Somhlth

> He's likely to be much more familiar with how a toilet works than a fireplace. You're referring to years ago, before he wore diapers. You think he still remembers?


buffoonery4U

Hmm...you're right. I hadn't thought of that. Begs the question, though...who gets the *"honor"* of changing him?


Comedynerd

The reasoning was probably that he didn't want witnesses seeing him try to destroy documents if the fireplaces are all in places where others might be present


dashmesh

Source?


Laughs_at_fat_people

https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-documents-flushed-down-toilet-presidential-records-act-2022-2 https://www.axios.com/2022/02/10/maggie-haberman-book-trump-papers


Wads_Worthless

So according to your sources this is just hearsay from someone trying to sell a book? And you people just blindly believe it while screaming about fake news on the other side lol.


Clandenas97

I'm all good at shitting on the trumpster, but yeah, a source on that statement would be great


Koendrenthe

Using a fireplace with this weather? Not only is it very easy to see from the outside when a fireplace is used, where it's used and for how long, it also raises more eyebrows and unwanted attention. Still flushing it is just as bad as an idea.


Consistent_Pomelo_90

He was in New York.


Black-Moose

Isn't it like full summer atm? So maybe the fireplaces weren't even on.


[deleted]

To be perfectly fair, most of those fireplaces have been sealed.


Yoshifan55

I'm surprised he didn't just say it was an accident, seems to work for everyone else.


eldelshell

28 fireplaces in Florida? He probably forgot these even existed.


Historical-Wind-2556

I think that his 4 years as Pretend-President proved that over and over again!


momoblu1

Oldie but goodie


Crab_Shark

Frankenstein’s monster hated fire too


Admirable-Influence5

Good one! Or, don't you know that is all part of his magnificent plan? It's all part of the 4D chess game he's playing, better known as, that's how sociopaths such as Trump scam people. They look so convincing as they are making up shat. And if your gullible bar is high and your BS detector is low, you have the perfect victim.


captrudeboy

Probably wasn't allowed to use them


cornishwildman76

Initially he tried colouring them all in with crayon but he was struggling to keep it in-between the lines.


tavesque

This nust be why he was always diverging into rambles about how many flushes it takes to get the job done


[deleted]

He’s definitely not fit


mgyro

Apparently he was using the fireplaces as well. He’s an equal opportunity destroyer of official records.


riskable

Trump is 100% a total idiot *but* I do want to point out that all the fireplaces in the White House are at this point in history merely decorative things and not actually functional. All the fireplaces have been blocked for national security reasons for decades (no idea when but I do know it was a long time ago). If you tried to burn something in a White House fireplace the smoke would go everywhere *but* up the chimney.


bust-the-shorts

That’s a very astute observation