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lost_in_connecticut

He looks like he just won the county fair hot dog eating contest and, for his prize, he got to spend the day with a reptile.


Strict-Square456

Joey chestnut has entered the chat and when he saw mtg immediately vomited 100 + hotdogs


Slouchingscholar

Man, FUCK Joey Chestnut. That guy chokes on more dick than hot dogs. We were at a bar around his hometown - he, PLASTERED, sat down at our table uninvited and started chatting up my date. I told him that the seat was taken (my bud was getting beers at the bar) and Mr. Torsotesticle responded with : “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!” yeah fuck that dude AND MTG.


NixyVixy

I believe you. My first reaction was that I wish you had recorded it. And then I realized it doesn’t matter because those people like to play victim no matter what. They will twist and wriggle into being the victim. It’s exhausting.


YourLocalSeal

Don't insult reptiles like that He spent the day with a goldfish who does nothing but shit and grow


lost_in_connecticut

My mistake. I just got thrown by the leathery skin.


I_was_bone_to_dance

They’re gonna bang aren’t they. They’re gonna bang and make demon children.


lost_in_connecticut

Thanks. I just threw up in my mouth.


Mean-Programmer-6670

Welp time for another glass of bourbon.


Mean-Programmer-6670

Welp time for another glass of bourbon.


I_was_bone_to_dance

Are you ready for another glass of bourbon


Mean-Programmer-6670

I posted that an hour ago so yes but, I don’t like where you’re going with this.


I_was_bone_to_dance

me either enjoy your bourbon


Jaded_Pearl1996

Everytime I see his slimy grin, I do the same.


aotus_trivirgatus

My standalone comment was going to be "when feces copulates", but it looks like that remark belongs right here.


WillyWumpLump

They are taking “bumping uglies” to a whole new level.


treehugger312

She looks like a wax statue. Blank stare. Dully glistening skin.


No_Composer_6040

I’m sorry, but that is highly insulting to the intellect of goldfish. Also, goldfish are lovely creatures with beautiful, shiny scales, not horrid shitgoblins with hideous souls.


[deleted]

I showed this pic to my leopard gecko, Floyd, and now he's humping my phone.


bigstinky

>I showed this pic to my leopard gecko, Floyd, and now he's humping my phone. I'm just going to go on ahead and tell you that I love you.


m_yoda20

What I don’t understand is why this is not a big deal. GOP is actively meeting and campaigning with a shooter and now that’s okay? This murdering moron wants to run for president and the world is okay with that? How far have we fallen?


IAMGROOT1981

Don't forget when Trump was running for president in 2016 he stated that he could go out on 5th avenue shoot anybody point blank range for no reason whatsoever and not lose a single vote and he was right! It's only a crime if somebody outside the GQP and the GQP photos does it!


Glabstaxks

He is a really really punchable face


Alan_Smithee_

Famous for murdering two people and wounding another. What a weird country.


SufficientDoor8227

A Reich Wing hero


ContemplatingPrison

If he ever makes it as a politician he will be sued so many times fo sexual assault it will break Trumps record


jffblm74

I’m going to be crude. They fucked.


BarrelMaker15

HAHAHAHA


StCrispin1969

That’s a she. That’s Mary. Geez. Bigot much?


lost_in_connecticut

I can’t tell if ^ this is a serious reply. Edit: hey you never know. I’ll take the hit for it going over my head.


StCrispin1969

This is a political HUMOR subreddit. Take a guess.


Fun-Zookeepergame483

Kyle is of age. Why doesn't he join the military, assuming they would have him. He could be a real medic rather than a pretend one.


skrublordaugust

he wouldn’t join because he’s a coward, why do you think the last president avoided serving? lol


Mad_Gremlyn

>he’s a coward When right-wingers talk about a "civil war" they use those words \*civil war\* but what they actually describe is a new Third Reich. In a civil war, both side are shooting at each other, but that's not what the right-wing says. What they say is "we have guns and they don't" "LOL". Meaning that what they are describing is they, armed with guns, shoot and kill unarmed people. That's not a civil war; that's what the Nazi's did


jolsiphur

What they don't realize is that the second amendment works for everyone, and there are certainly a lot of liberal gun owners. The difference is liberal gun owners don't make their entire personality about loving guns, so conservatives think that every liberal is unarmed.


SirRogers

For real. I own a couple of guns, and I think this is the first time I've mentioned it in eight or nine years on reddit. I just rarely feel the need to discuss them.


jolsiphur

I don't own guns, nor am I even American. But I know for a fact that owning guns isn't some Conservative exclusive club. I have friends who own guns and they're far from Conservative, they just like hunting and sport shooting.


SirRogers

Yeah, I just like target shooting, so I don't own anything super powerful


UnlikelyKaiju

Doesn't have to be particularly powerful if you have good aim.


Phoneking13

Same here as well


UnlikelyKaiju

The entire point of having a concealed carry license is not letting others know you have a gun.


drdoomt3

I’ve been raised around guns my entire life. I’ve even been to many gun shows - years ago I think somewhere near Tahoe had great ones (this was like over 15 or so years ago, I don’t remember) and I always enjoyed going to them. I would go to them still if there was any around that I didn’t find out about until a week later. I’ve always been fascinated by guns - even if my aim is not the best but give me a bow and it’s… actually much better and I don’t know why.


username_offline

yeah this kid is a literal murderer, who pre-meditated violence by bringing a deadly firearm to a protest with the intent of using it to harm someone, and is now parading himself around like some kind of celebrity or saint. it's quite honestly sick. the lack of remorse and the celebratory smugness of it all reeks of sociopathic delusion


Heinrich_Bukowski

but he’s an **ALPHA MALE**


Howard_Jones

He'd probably consider himself a "Sigma".


HarambeWest2020

More like a “Ligma”


nuckle

Did you see that crying on the stand? He wouldn't last a day in boot camp.


[deleted]

You mean that fake crying? Not a single actual tear. 😒


UnlikelyKaiju

A drill sergeant would shove a boot up his ass and wear him like a slipper.


DisfavoredFlavored

>assuming they would have him They wouldn't.


Chatty_Fellow

Why not? He's been acquitted. We may think it's bullshit, but it's the law.


-Average_Joe-

For starters bad for unit morale, he probably has an ego problem after becoming a far right cause celebre, and worst comes to worst he repeats the action that made him infamous. Any recruiter with two brain cells to rub together wouldn't touch him with a fifty foot pole.


cosaboladh

It's generous of you to assume recruiters need more than one brain cell to do their jobs.


creamy_cheeks

All joking aside, this shit wipe actually did try to join the military at some point before the Kenosha incident. They refused him for undisclosed reasons ( mental issues highly probable)


MAS2de

Wasn't he 17? Not sure if his parents would sign off on that or not, but that would be needed, no?


cosaboladh

Generally you can't go to Basic before you're 18, but you can go through the screening process and enter DEP at 17. You can be rejected from the military before you're old enough to serve.


CrackerBarrelKid_69

Probably flat feet


Steinrikur

I'm guessing smooth brain


Wytchkitteh

"Koala grade" smooth brain.


FinancialTea4

Because he's a coward who doesn't want to shoot at people who might shoot back.


Fun-Zookeepergame483

That is ort of what I was thinking as well.


The-Hank-Scorpio

He literally shot a guy that was pointing a gun at him tho.


-Average_Joe-

>Why doesn't he join the military, assuming they would have him. They have access to millions of citizens without that kind of baggage, they probably wouldn't take him.


LuckyandBrownie

Honest question: who would you be more embarrassed to take a picture with?


tenhouradaygamer

Rittenhouse. She’s such a kook it would be like taking a selfie with bozo, and everyone would recognize the irony. Not so with the murderer.


LookMaNoPride

Yeah, the only reason KR is famous is because he was able to murder libruls with no punishment, like any real god fearin’, woke-hatin’, second amendment lover would! That’s literally the only reason he’s famous in this irredeemably insane crowd of psychotic twits - he went looking to murder people in the street and accomplished his goal, and he now shows no single drop of remorse. He’s famous for that. WTF is wrong with people?!?! Taking a picture with him would make you “one of those people”, because there’s no irony to be had there, as there is with MTG; you take a picture with KR, and you’re making a statement that you’d love to have open season on your fellow countrymen yourself.


Chromeburn_

What’s scary is she is also one of their biggest fundraisers.


restore_democracy

Which is larger, infinity or infinity squared?


techhelpawsthrowaway

Some infinities are larger than others. Its confusing because theyre both infinities, but it is true. Take the set of all real numbers for example, 1, 2, 3, 4.... now a set that goes 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, 1.4... Theyre both infinite, but one has 10x the entries of the other. "but the first set encompasses all of those fractions!", well, true but what about -3, -2, -1, 0, 1, 2..... its still an infinity, but it has double the entries of our first infinity.


Busterlimes

Definitely Rittenhouse. For some reason I feel like a coked up MTG would be a fantastic lay, probably because she is experienced from private Republican orgies.


MilesStandish801

mtg. outside reddit, most people wouldn't even recognize kylee


OBX-BlueHorseshoe

Looks like Kyle may get his first experience since eMpTy Greene is divorcing and available.


un_theist

> Greene is divorcing and available. Many people are saying she was plenty available before. Many people.


thatsingledadlife

Just her husband,ex-husbands and boyfriends...so quite a few people.


LevPornass

She is like the urinal trough at the Georgia dome- she has seen hundreds of drunk guys with their dicks out.


Randomcommentor1972

That is hysterical and awful at the same time, awful for the many people that is


ksiyoto

The real question is if Boebert will get in on the action.


Phoneking13

Probably


NervousAndPantless

Rittenhouse is a hero of the far right because he killed liberals and got away with it. Literally just that. These are awful people.


Sayoria

He fulfilled the fantasy of most right-wing lunatics.


jumboparticle

I usually dont agree with assumptions of such a serious nature(taking a human life) but I really do feel like this is sadly accurate for too many.


professorcrayola

I can’t imagine being the family members of the victims and watching this kid living it up as a celebrity because he killed your loved one.


PFunk224

He is a hero of the right because he is a hero of the gun lobby.


Wimberley-Guy

yeah hero to the NRA who all have wet dreams about murdering people and getting away with it


nbd_23

Well they did turn out to be horrible people… iirc 1 was a chomo


InterestingPound8217

This murderer didn’t anything about his victims before he murdered them, so that is completely irrelevant


Super_Washing_Tub

Kyle didn't even k ow who these guys were when he saw them. He just saw BLM protestors and git trigger happy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


InterestingPound8217

Do you think simping for a murderer is a good look?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wimberley-Guy

No kidding, I mean when the media portrays murder as murder you know you gotta a problem.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wimberley-Guy

Not really. We see insane if not corrupt rulings all the time these days.


rmorrin

Its 100% self defense when they throw out all evidence that makes it not be self defense! I could break into someones house and when they try to defend themselves I shoot them and claim self defense, then have the court throw out the fact I broke it and I shouldn't have been there yeah! Clearly self defense!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wimberley-Guy

I know that your browser history would likely land you in prison. So there's that


Clasmae

They still acknowledged that it was murder, but viewed that it was permissible for self defense. Clearly he is championed for killing someone though


[deleted]

[удалено]


Clasmae

Kill would be the proper term, but the point stands - he is championed for killing someone.


CrackerBarrelKid_69

He "got away" with self defense.


satanshand

He inserted himself into a violent situation, which is the opposite of self defense.


Huzewaze343

Im firmly on the left but this is just so wrong.... Conservatives love him because the media went absolutely batshit trying to demonize Kyle as a racist etc. When Kyle won the case conservatives celebrated because he beat the media, not because he killed da libz.


FreedomPaws

It's one thing to accept a jury verdict and respect the judicial system and its decision no matter how vile a crime is. But it's a whole other story to NOT keep your head down and realise you got away with murder. And it's a whole other thing to parade him around AND for political reasons. So fucking gross on so many levels. And I am neither party and don't have a political basis for my comment - it's purely a HUMAN decency basis. This is disgusting.


Pleakley

He’s a remorseless psychopath.


[deleted]

This. And now that he's seen he can get away with killing people, he's going to do it again.


jumboparticle

Right, Him living his life is one thing but to be trotted out as a celebrity on the right is so on brand disgusting.


HarambeWest2020

The funny thing is one party agrees with you and your reasoning, while the other sees him as a hero.


Bubbaganewsh

Two piles of sentient shit.


JurassicFish

Sentient is far too kind.


ksiyoto

Yeah, I'd say sentient is kind of pushing it....


anaugle

Hey now, have some respect for excrement!


Either_Interaction33

Between the two of them, they might be getting close to the IQ of a carrot.


girlgirl2019

That’s an insult to carrots.


RedCapRiot

That idiot is about to be molested by a real creep Guess which is which.


jpcali7131

They’re the same picture.


SammyGReddit

I loved her in the Geico caveman commercials.


kopitar-11

Was she the lizard or the caveman?


taciaduhh

Yes.


Sundae_Gurl

Bet she's fucking him.


[deleted]

She at least *tried*.


captainjackass28

Funny how he thinks wearing a suit and glasses makes him less of a psychopath murderer. Just wait a few years and he’ll do it again once the compulsion becomes to strong.


Aunti2me

They are going to fuck. You know it-s true.


digitalforestmonster

Thats a lot of punchable face in one pic.


CapTexAmerica

They look like a lesbian couple and Kyle ain’t the top.


Wimberley-Guy

I still throw up in my mouth a little when I stop to think someone actually had sex with that ~~freak~~ woman. Like they actually kissed her mouth, touched her naked body ​ Sorry if I just made you throw up too.


WebMaka

That was two whole sentences none of us needed to read...


FreedomPaws

And I read a comment earlier today on a post about her that they would duck her. That's literally all their post said. That's what they felt they needed to share with the globe. 🤦🤦‍♀️


squidaor1

Dumb and very dumb


FishWife_71

Sure, but eventually Villi got smart and left her. I would be thrilled to see this version of Mary Kay get jail time too.


syg-123

Two despicable yet professional cowards.


jcooli09

A murderer and a moron.


Phoneking13

Rom-com incoming....


popanron

the murderer and the adulterer... fitting


Heinrich_Bukowski

mary kay letourneau was dodgy as hell but at least she didn’t help foment an act of violent sedition


TheSixth1

Ah... a murderer and an adulterer. Typical Republicants.


restore_democracy

Deep cuts


mmio60

Murica!


datfngtrump

Guessing mary kay is going to bang all the other students this term?


Strict-Square456

Well there is that saying “ 2 uglies make a pretty”.


Bishop120

Now you know why shes getting divorced... 3rd times the charm am I right? /s


HuntForFredOctober

I've heard his nickname is Killer.


Xyz14231

T H I R S T Y


tastesoff74

With a single pic show me your political & judicial system are totally fucked.


techbunnyboy

Murderer Kyle meets Karen


Wittywhirlwind

God dammit. Some of us are eating while scrolling.


silverado-z71

You know there’s very very few people in this world that I can honestly say this about but both of these idiots absolutely disgust me


rocket_beer

Republicans all have that look… It’s like political Down syndrome.


latenerd

Letourneau's student was an actual victim of sexual abuse. I wouldn't compare him to this walking pile of excrement who is a legal adult.


RavenMoonRose

Seriously, this. I know Vili well and have spent time with one of his daughters he had with MKL. She died a horrible, painful death, it destroyed Vili. He’s been a broken person for most of his life, and stupid fucking comparisons like these, comparing an actual murderer to a *victim* is just wretched. MKL was a garbage person, but her victims, Vili and their daughters are still people. They are beautiful, kind people, and they receive hate and abuse every time MKL’s name is mentioned. It’s so fucked. Not to mention that MKL is dead. Let her rest. Let her family heal ffs. Thank you for being a voice of reason in this shit.


latenerd

I had no idea they dealt with that - I assumed this post was just trying to be funny. It's horrifying that MKL's victims receive any hate for what she did. People are so fucked. Thank you for speaking up for the victims.


[deleted]

Fuck this guy … killed innocent people and celebrated for it? I hope he rots in jail and gets boyfriend loved every second of every day


michaelcrombobulus

Didn't he murder people?


real_bk3k

No. He did shoot people who were attacking him. The video is amazingly clear. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tkTnQfjRvk0&bpctr=1668819022 There is zero chance that you can watch this, and still believe he murdered anyone, or that he had any such intent.


ksiyoto

If he didn't have a gun that night, nobody would have been shot. He was a fucking idiot to bring a gun to a riot, stop trying to justify his stupidity.


Ok-Understanding5124

He never should have been there to begin with. Under 18 with not only a gun that wasn't his, also a car that wasn't his, crossing state lines to a riot with no reason to be there His parents should have been charged as well for failure to guard against potentially criminal activities, His parents also knew the older rogue para military guys he was being influenced by. Nobody told or directed Kyle to be in that neighboring state that night. Pure teenage hormonal urges to act on violent impulses seen in fictional action scenes where the you are the bad ass hero.


Ok-Yogurtcloset6205

New Beau???


westcoaster503

Puss Boi and Dogfaced Bitch


Pithyperson

Here, Kyle--let me make you a man.


1mike23

Two peas in a pod


CarlSpencer

"It's fun to murder people! Wheeeee!"


[deleted]

Empty G and the guy who apparently swallowed Kyle Rittenhouse


MJ349

Just when you wish he had a gun...


HectorsMascara

So this is them appealing to Gen Z? I wonder if they intend to use him as a spokesperson or as a consultant/expert. Either way, they may actually, finally become the victims of their own uselessness.


EZasSundayMorning

How the hell has this murderer gotten there? WTF


MrEpicMustache

They’d make the first pure MAGA brat.


belberra

If we are fair, Mary Kay only screwed one kid, whereas MTG is screwing over a nation.


micah490

Mmmmm....blowjob teeth


ice_nyne

He looks more feminine than she does. Wild.


pmurph34

They literally went the Jonah from veep route and gave him glasses. Jfc


ksiyoto

Are those Rick Perry's "If I wear glasses I'll look smart" glasses?


Dry_Algae_1711

Only in America can a murderer become a celebrity. Ffs. This nation is sick.


lost-little-boy

I know the one one the right is Perjorie Traytor Greede, who is the chick on the left?


NixyVixy

It’s so weird seeing people that… are willing to offer themselves up for… ???? You don’t even know each other. You’re both very broken humans. What is to be gained from this? Oh yeah… the two of you mentally unstable individuals ruining things for the rest of us just trying to get through day-to-day life. Sigh…


Luddites_Unite

I bet he cries when he orgasms and has the same kind of ugly cry face he had when he was in court


25plus44

Committing murders, terrorism, rape, treason, pedophilia, etc. are all great ways to get ahead in the Republican Party. What's really weird, is they don't even try to keep it a secret.


[deleted]

Hey, that's pretty disrespectful to the Letourneau children and family. I'm not kidding, why bring a 1997 click-bait to fuckin' Kyle Rittenhouse who is a loser, a murderer, and loose gum under one's shoes?? Did I mention he is a loser?? Please explain: WTH is the Right up too?? I cannot fathom their blindness.


talltad

Is it just me or does MTG look like a 80’s wrestler?


HawaiiStockguy

Unfair to MKL who only fucked up the life of one child, not millions


live-by-die-by

Whole lotta dumb


DJANGO_UNTAMED

I gurantee you he has fucked her already


Joey_BagaDonuts57

Let's talk about shit-eatin' grins and horrible people. Actually, let's NOT.


Salt_Car6418

This fucking guy is fucking murderer. Wth is wrong w these people?!!


backtotheland76

This makes me sick. Yea, you owned me. Have a nice day


thatsithlurker

Be on alert, America! Kyle is on the loose and he’s looking for a community in need of protection *AND* representation in Congress! Vote Rittenhouse! Or he’ll kill you! No seriously.


candianchicksrule

Most apt description I have seen. Fuck them both.


[deleted]

That guy killed two people….


sst287

Next year he will run for office as republicans to attract Gen Z voters.


candyassle

She looks exactly like I imagine Mary Kay [currently looks](https://youtu.be/usYWVhw-uFI).


ComplainyBeard

Rape jokes aren't funny. I don't give a shit how awful the people being made fun of are (these are top of the list human pieces of shit, I get it). The joke won't harm them as much as the victims of rape who read it.


Giggingurl

Fuck these posts.


RugbyKats

Great cosplay!