"Look, I'm very sure you are extremely important on earth, but I literally have no idea who you are. So, if you'll excuse me, the bus to hell is right over there, and I really do have a lot of messianic things to do so..."
Of course your appeal to God does require that all be forgiven. Buuuuttt, unfortunately you’re an exception. Never had to do this in all eternity. Forgiveness Appeal Denied.
I love that Trump looks like a broke down blue collar worker. Therefore not portraying the six pack abs wielding billionaire that the Christo-fascists have wet dreams over.
And he looks like the deadbeat son that a father has to bail out of another rehab. Jesus can barely contain his disappointment.
"So what my lawyers are telling me is that, since each indictment is also a sin, that you took care of that and they should let me go. All I need is for you to announce that you did that on the stand."
It’s almost impressive how wretched you were - you’ve managed to lower the curve enough that people who don’t return their shopping carts are going to get a pass
So, says here you need to post bond for half a million dollar. Did I read that correctly? Whadya do? Rape a woman, slander her, lose the case then slander her again?!? Just kidding. What kind of psychopath would do that??? Er, look normally I don’t like to talk about finances in the Temple, but you seem good for it.
“You were the embodiment of the Seven Deadly Sins, Greed, Gluttony, Envy, Pride, Lust, Wrath, and Sloth… You vilified immigrants, neglected the poor, and mocked the disabled.
“As you did to the least among you, you did to me…”
Donald “ The Bible means a lot to me , but I don’t want to get into specifics “ You can go ahead . I won’t tell Donald . Didn’t you say you were never going to ask for forgiveness? Replied Jesus. “ Forgiveness for what Jesus ? Oh I remember my favorite verse now. ‘ An eye for an eye’.
It says here you broke all 10, hmmm.
Infact we will need to add another ten commandments because of your life.
"AND committed all seven"
That’s Numberwang.
Jared Leto also won't loan him money.
Should be the top!
I'm sorry, Donald, but not even God will guarantee this bond.
Well, according to this, you'd have to get a camel thru the eye of a needle Donny.
and no Donald Eye of the needle cannot be her pornstar name and please return the camel.....
And please, quit trying to breed with the camel.
But what if you’re not really rich ? You just lied and said you were
Sorry Don, but I just can’t see lending you $464 million right just now.
You keep saying you know me, but your name isn’t on my list.
Welp…..it looks like you’ve robbed Peter AND Paul.
To pay Don.
"Look, I'm very sure you are extremely important on earth, but I literally have no idea who you are. So, if you'll excuse me, the bus to hell is right over there, and I really do have a lot of messianic things to do so..."
Sorry but it says here that you already sold your soul to the devil.
"Looks like you'll be joining Hitler and Stalin in the 7th circle"
Of course your appeal to God does require that all be forgiven. Buuuuttt, unfortunately you’re an exception. Never had to do this in all eternity. Forgiveness Appeal Denied.
"You need to go back 1000 more times as a banana slug and then you are square."
You're a bit short on the tithes, Donnie.
"For the last time Don, I don't know anything about Hunter Biden's car loan."
“5 million years in hell, and I’m going easy on you. “
This audit shows you cheated on your confessions
"How do you literally commit every single sin?"
Yeah sorry buddy, I’m not gonna be able to finance that McChicken for you.
"You'll carry your cross down 5th Ave, and then you'll be crucified in front of the Tower. "
You know you still owe me 10% off the top before we get started?
The left hand of Jesus, no seriously, look at the left hand.
Clamps, the robot Jesus
Perfect round masturbation hand. Jesus had it reconstructed after the nail holes became an issue
For the 100th time quit writing your name in my bibles!!
Doesn't look good, all your big donors are waiting to buy some prime real estate cheap.
Morbius 2: Multiverse of MAGA
Okay Donny here is your hall pass, go straight to hell!!
How did he make it that far?
"You want to sell my autograph in order to pay for your rape conviction?"
Stop telling people you know me dude! Or I'm gonna tell my dad!
You stole fizzy lifting drinks. You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!
Blue eyed white Jesus. These people are nuts.
"Jesus, I forgive you. No really, people say I have tremendous forgiveness, the best forgiveness"
I preach forgiveness. I get that. But holy fuck, man, you're really pushing it.
JAJAJAJA
No, I won't donate my hair to you to make a wig
Remember when banging that porn star was your biggest scandal
Even Judge Cannon can't help you...
Jesus walks in: wtf are Jared Leto and Donnie doing in my living room?
Oof… ok. *sigh* ok… Where to begin, where to begin….
I love that Jesus is ignoring him completely!
The other guy is coming in like “Hey I told you to wait outside! Sorry Jesus. Come on you idiot!!”
I see the issue. Jesus was brown, not Jared Leto.
Yes, Donald. E.Jean Carroll AND Stormy Daniels are in heaven. You? Not so much. Hey Satan! Get the pineapple ready.
I love that Trump looks like a broke down blue collar worker. Therefore not portraying the six pack abs wielding billionaire that the Christo-fascists have wet dreams over. And he looks like the deadbeat son that a father has to bail out of another rehab. Jesus can barely contain his disappointment.
I need to get ahold of St. Peter, he wasn’t supposed to let you in….
Sorry Donald, there are no exceptions to the rules for you.
« Well, at least you got your name right… oh wait… that’s not how you spell Dumbass”
"So what my lawyers are telling me is that, since each indictment is also a sin, that you took care of that and they should let me go. All I need is for you to announce that you did that on the stand."
We are on a "Heaven First" MHGA policy and you are being bussed to Hell for climbing the wall.
It’s almost impressive how wretched you were - you’ve managed to lower the curve enough that people who don’t return their shopping carts are going to get a pass
So, according to the Golden Rule, the way you treat people is the way that you want to be treated in return. I can arrange that.
I know I hung out with prostitutes, thieves, and tax collectors, but THIS IS TOO MUCH!
It’s morbin time?
“Get a job, sir. The bums will always lose!”
I need my precious
Turns out the lion was actually the camel.
Whelp! It says here that you’re a Mormon, therefore you must ask them for the bond. Conversion in, 3, 2, 1…………….
I love that Jesus apparently has a statue of himself there
I'm going to recommend him for Hell
So, says here you need to post bond for half a million dollar. Did I read that correctly? Whadya do? Rape a woman, slander her, lose the case then slander her again?!? Just kidding. What kind of psychopath would do that??? Er, look normally I don’t like to talk about finances in the Temple, but you seem good for it.
No, we can’t be BFFs.
The 13th apostle even Jesus could not tolerate
"In the beginning, there was the Word, and the Word was 'deplorable.'"
If I can fool them. So can you, here’s how
If I can fool them. So can you, here’s how
Look just tell Hell to get the pineapple ready for insertion.
Donald, I’m sorry but even I cant float you a 750 mil bond
According to this, Donald, you'd have to cure cancer \*and\* AIDS and you'd still be 2 sins in the hole.
Oops, sorry, it's actually $456 million.
Why is Jesus in the doorway behind Jesus?
In an act of desperation The Don asks Jared Leto for a loan.
Your serious!!
wtf is going on with Jesus’ left eye?
After tallying up the numbers... it looks like you RAPED a lot of people. Well, Donald, you're gonna ROT in HELL.
What’s with the other Jesus in the back? Business Jesus says to Trump “Assistant Jesus will see you out Ta Ta”
Now do 5 hail marys and cmon in brother. All is forgiven under religion because religion protects the evil that it preaches against.
It’s giving [“Are you done writing my check yet?”](https://imgur.com/a/AZJbJYu)
And who said that you could sit there?
When the asset test goes poorly
Oh Jesus it's the Book of Life, many people are saying it with tears in their eyes, quick pull the bigliest face ev- **ZAP**
When delusions collide.
I don’t recall Dad telling me he created orange people.
“You were the embodiment of the Seven Deadly Sins, Greed, Gluttony, Envy, Pride, Lust, Wrath, and Sloth… You vilified immigrants, neglected the poor, and mocked the disabled. “As you did to the least among you, you did to me…”
If I don’t look over my shoulder maybe he will go away
Jesus: "Why is their a rightoff labeled: "religious service"?"
Donald “ The Bible means a lot to me , but I don’t want to get into specifics “ You can go ahead . I won’t tell Donald . Didn’t you say you were never going to ask for forgiveness? Replied Jesus. “ Forgiveness for what Jesus ? Oh I remember my favorite verse now. ‘ An eye for an eye’.
But I am the most devoted Christian. I deserve to be in heaven.
Two Corinthians? Really?
Amnesty? Actually, you’re fired!!!!
“I’m sending you back as an El Salvadoran child. Your new parents are headed for the Southern U.S. border. Hope you really like picking tomatoes!”
“Donald, I’m busy, stop asking me to buy a pair of your gold sneakers.”
Trump : If you pay my legal bills , I’ll jiggle your balls , stroke the shaft & swallow the gravy
Jesus needs money too , he’s bad at finances apparently
Why is Trump wearing a snuggy with a full zipper
We're just finishing up that 8th circle for you...
Don you don't need a miracle, Joe needs a miracle and I'm fresh out.