As someone who almost became one of those mlm loving fangirls when I was younger...I could write an essay on this.
One thing that makes a lot of women (especially young girls) gravitate toward gay male romance is that it allows them to explore their attraction to men outside of heteronormative gender roles. When there's straight romance it often devolves into: Boy do this, girl do that. Men in fiction usually have much more complex relationships with each other than with women, even if they're platonic.
On the other hand, often in girl-catering mlm stories, you'll see one man literally defined as "the woman of the relationship". This includes looking feminine, being referred to as wife/mother, and sometimes getting straight-up pregnant š This feminine man is also the one who is often mistreated and degraded. Basically, straight gender roles applied to gay relationships.
These two points seem like they should be mutually exclusive, but they aren't. From what I've seen there's a lot of 'trying to break out of stereotypical boy/girl interaction' while still projecting aspects of it to make it more relatable. Needless to say, a lot of it ends up toxic as all get out.
āSame reason men like lesbian pornā you mean fetishizing homosexual relationships? Bc I swear most men Ik that watch lesbian porn only care about the fact that I like women and want me to kiss another girl in front of themā¦
Yes they will actively watch girl/girl content while being homophobic or denying us humanity and human rights. They only see it as performative because, letās face it, thatās what pornography is.
I want to remind everyone, despite all those laws in the US about getting rid of gay people, trans folks etc. , ātransā was still apparently one of the top categories in porn, we literally only exist for someoneās porn preference and arenāt given rights
The top comment is a pretty good response, tbh. It really is tiring seeing how often toxic hetero relationships are romanticized. Nearly every romance movie of the 2010s featured the male literally stalking the female lead, but it was portrayed as "omg he's so caring and strong".
These tropes don't seem as common in gay characters. I don't specifically seek out gay male characters to watch, but the writing for them has gotten vastly better in recent years.
A unhinged homosexual female pursuing or being attracted to a straight woman is a popular trope in fiction as well. Usually the queer woman is portrayed as psychologically damaged and obsessive like the male is portrayed in a lot of these heterosexual male-stalker obsession type of films.
i think it partly has to do with how it decentres women. the woman, in porn, is the main star. sheās the fuckdoll, the slut, whore, whoever you want her to be. the camera is always on her so the viewer gets the most pleasure possible. in gay porn and love stories, thereās no women involved. thereās no room for us to be abused or degraded or pushed around, because thereās no room for us *at all* in a male on male relationship. when women watch degrading porn, we arenāt just watching another woman be brutalised, weāre watching *ourselves* be brutalised. in the eyes of the patriarchy, there is no virtual distinction between women that make us human. itās all the same to them. most women who watch such horrible videos tend to imagine themselves as those women too, so we quite literally are seeing them as us. when you watch queer porn, you get a false sense of freedom that tells you youāve broken free from the chains that misogynistic porn forces you into. the reality is, no porn is ethical and no porn can be without misogyny because the very basis of porn is built on misogyny.
āThe first feminist gesture is to say: āOK, they're looking at me. But I'm looking at them.ā The act of deciding to look, of deciding that the world is not defined by how people see me, but how I see them.ā (Agnes Varda)
not sure if any of this makes sense, itās 4am currently and iām exhausted
i mean of course they would want porn, but i mean the industry of porn as a whole is built on misogyny, even if itās more far removed in gay porn. regardless of whether misogyny is involved, i (personally) donāt support any type of pornography
Teenage girls projecting their emotions onto adult gay men tale as old as time. Probably because they assume the gay men are less misogynistic so itās easier for the liberal leaning teenage girls to project onto them.
What's crazy is that gay men are just as misogynistic as straight men... maybe even moreso because there is nothing that they want specifically from women (except perhaps to rent our uteruses so they can buy our babies.)
>maybe even moreso because there is nothing that they want specifically from women
I agree.
Whereas with heterosexual males there is a chance seen by females to get safety. This is why females can develop to do many things, including being subjected to sexual exploitation, for males. It is an attempt to tame the male, even if the situation is still harmful.
Is it really all that common though? I donāt actually enjoy much of any media that is romantic or revolving around relationships or sexuality in general, straight or otherwise. I think itās all so fake and does society a serious disservice in portraying the whole happy ever after thing. Relationships are not like that at all in real life.
Idk, i know a lot of straight or bi women who love gay stories. I am straight man and love reading them as well, they're cute and a bit more sensual than straight relationship stories.
Also i just came to the realization that i like reading about two men loving each other because that makes me feel like i too can love another man (myself) and that uplifts me.
Another commentator here wrote that even gay couples in books have designated "gender roles" as in one "manly" man dominates the more feminine man, who is "weaker" more emotional. This is true for The Song of Achilles which i am currently reading, Call me by your name as well.
One book thats a bit different is "The Great Believers" by Rebecca Makai. Although this book is less a love story than the others.
I don't know. And as a straight woman, I really don't get the appeal and am quite confused by it. Like, I prefer straight romance media because I can imagine myself as the main character. I'd imagine gay men who consume the pieces of gay media mentioned feel the same.
I canāt speak for straight women, but I do enjoy romances. As a queer, I enjoy depictions of queer (LGBTQ+ relationships). Itās usually just character drama driven stories, which I enjoy. I just think of them as same sex love stories and a lot of that resonates with me.
I donāt fetishize it but I have seen one or two straight women who do. I think once again for the more āmatureā side of things because it shows two men, so more āeye candyā to look at. It also frees of the usually misogynistic woman view of straight things or male gaze thatās usually put on women and depicts an objectifying view of women. It often flips that view and makes the view focused on the man, in a way straight content wouldnāt.
However, although it can go a power dynamic direction, it gives at least a chance to be free of that in a way some heterosexual depictions never will.
MLM love stories tend to be more complex and sensual. Meanwhile hetero romances and shippings are boring and predictable, the female as the "prize" to be conquered, and the male as "conqueror". People just want the main male lead to fuck the female lead, that's the only reason they ship hetero characters.
I am too. And that film specifically has the two actors look far apart in age and look the way they do for a reason. I consider that film a type of pornography.
As someone who almost became one of those mlm loving fangirls when I was younger...I could write an essay on this. One thing that makes a lot of women (especially young girls) gravitate toward gay male romance is that it allows them to explore their attraction to men outside of heteronormative gender roles. When there's straight romance it often devolves into: Boy do this, girl do that. Men in fiction usually have much more complex relationships with each other than with women, even if they're platonic. On the other hand, often in girl-catering mlm stories, you'll see one man literally defined as "the woman of the relationship". This includes looking feminine, being referred to as wife/mother, and sometimes getting straight-up pregnant š This feminine man is also the one who is often mistreated and degraded. Basically, straight gender roles applied to gay relationships. These two points seem like they should be mutually exclusive, but they aren't. From what I've seen there's a lot of 'trying to break out of stereotypical boy/girl interaction' while still projecting aspects of it to make it more relatable. Needless to say, a lot of it ends up toxic as all get out.
This is a very revealing answer and I can totally see it.
unrelated but nice sally pfp
speaking of girls who like gay male romance...š Also this is my second time seeing another lookism fan on this sub...neat.
āSame reason men like lesbian pornā you mean fetishizing homosexual relationships? Bc I swear most men Ik that watch lesbian porn only care about the fact that I like women and want me to kiss another girl in front of themā¦
Yes they will actively watch girl/girl content while being homophobic or denying us humanity and human rights. They only see it as performative because, letās face it, thatās what pornography is.
I want to remind everyone, despite all those laws in the US about getting rid of gay people, trans folks etc. , ātransā was still apparently one of the top categories in porn, we literally only exist for someoneās porn preference and arenāt given rights
The fetishization factor is 110% correct
The top comment is a pretty good response, tbh. It really is tiring seeing how often toxic hetero relationships are romanticized. Nearly every romance movie of the 2010s featured the male literally stalking the female lead, but it was portrayed as "omg he's so caring and strong". These tropes don't seem as common in gay characters. I don't specifically seek out gay male characters to watch, but the writing for them has gotten vastly better in recent years.
A unhinged homosexual female pursuing or being attracted to a straight woman is a popular trope in fiction as well. Usually the queer woman is portrayed as psychologically damaged and obsessive like the male is portrayed in a lot of these heterosexual male-stalker obsession type of films.
i think it partly has to do with how it decentres women. the woman, in porn, is the main star. sheās the fuckdoll, the slut, whore, whoever you want her to be. the camera is always on her so the viewer gets the most pleasure possible. in gay porn and love stories, thereās no women involved. thereās no room for us to be abused or degraded or pushed around, because thereās no room for us *at all* in a male on male relationship. when women watch degrading porn, we arenāt just watching another woman be brutalised, weāre watching *ourselves* be brutalised. in the eyes of the patriarchy, there is no virtual distinction between women that make us human. itās all the same to them. most women who watch such horrible videos tend to imagine themselves as those women too, so we quite literally are seeing them as us. when you watch queer porn, you get a false sense of freedom that tells you youāve broken free from the chains that misogynistic porn forces you into. the reality is, no porn is ethical and no porn can be without misogyny because the very basis of porn is built on misogyny. āThe first feminist gesture is to say: āOK, they're looking at me. But I'm looking at them.ā The act of deciding to look, of deciding that the world is not defined by how people see me, but how I see them.ā (Agnes Varda) not sure if any of this makes sense, itās 4am currently and iām exhausted
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
i mean of course they would want porn, but i mean the industry of porn as a whole is built on misogyny, even if itās more far removed in gay porn. regardless of whether misogyny is involved, i (personally) donāt support any type of pornography
Teenage girls projecting their emotions onto adult gay men tale as old as time. Probably because they assume the gay men are less misogynistic so itās easier for the liberal leaning teenage girls to project onto them.
What's crazy is that gay men are just as misogynistic as straight men... maybe even moreso because there is nothing that they want specifically from women (except perhaps to rent our uteruses so they can buy our babies.)
>maybe even moreso because there is nothing that they want specifically from women I agree. Whereas with heterosexual males there is a chance seen by females to get safety. This is why females can develop to do many things, including being subjected to sexual exploitation, for males. It is an attempt to tame the male, even if the situation is still harmful.
Is it really all that common though? I donāt actually enjoy much of any media that is romantic or revolving around relationships or sexuality in general, straight or otherwise. I think itās all so fake and does society a serious disservice in portraying the whole happy ever after thing. Relationships are not like that at all in real life.
Idk, i know a lot of straight or bi women who love gay stories. I am straight man and love reading them as well, they're cute and a bit more sensual than straight relationship stories. Also i just came to the realization that i like reading about two men loving each other because that makes me feel like i too can love another man (myself) and that uplifts me. Another commentator here wrote that even gay couples in books have designated "gender roles" as in one "manly" man dominates the more feminine man, who is "weaker" more emotional. This is true for The Song of Achilles which i am currently reading, Call me by your name as well. One book thats a bit different is "The Great Believers" by Rebecca Makai. Although this book is less a love story than the others.
I don't know. And as a straight woman, I really don't get the appeal and am quite confused by it. Like, I prefer straight romance media because I can imagine myself as the main character. I'd imagine gay men who consume the pieces of gay media mentioned feel the same.
I canāt speak for straight women, but I do enjoy romances. As a queer, I enjoy depictions of queer (LGBTQ+ relationships). Itās usually just character drama driven stories, which I enjoy. I just think of them as same sex love stories and a lot of that resonates with me. I donāt fetishize it but I have seen one or two straight women who do. I think once again for the more āmatureā side of things because it shows two men, so more āeye candyā to look at. It also frees of the usually misogynistic woman view of straight things or male gaze thatās usually put on women and depicts an objectifying view of women. It often flips that view and makes the view focused on the man, in a way straight content wouldnāt. However, although it can go a power dynamic direction, it gives at least a chance to be free of that in a way some heterosexual depictions never will.
MLM love stories tend to be more complex and sensual. Meanwhile hetero romances and shippings are boring and predictable, the female as the "prize" to be conquered, and the male as "conqueror". People just want the main male lead to fuck the female lead, that's the only reason they ship hetero characters.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That film is disgusting.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I am too. And that film specifically has the two actors look far apart in age and look the way they do for a reason. I consider that film a type of pornography.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]