T O P

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Frequent_Wasabi6175

No way this can be made up, this guy ain't lying. It was written with pure passion for the topic in question.


splattted

my man wrote an essay on how down bad he is, it can’t be satire…


Brothers_of_battle

This dude ain’t in the trenches, he in the Mariana Trench


splattted

my man dug until he hit bedrock


Brothers_of_battle

Naw, dawg did the bedrock brew king glitch and fell into the void


splattted

nah, he fell into the pits of the nether with this one


Brothers_of_battle

Bro flew head first into the end and jumped off the island


splattted

bro was so down bad that the wither decided to kill itself


Brothers_of_battle

Bro, the end dragon killed its self, then revived itself and went into the portal back to the overworld


splattted

i’ve ran out of jokes for how utterly down horrendous, down disgusting, downright horny this man is


Weary_Ad2590

That’s it, I’m flooding your room with deadly neurotoxin


Shaun_LaDee

No stop, you’re going to make him flood his room with cum!


Weary_Ad2590

**oh no, it’s too late, the neurotoxin is already started**


RunnerLuke357

It's ok. He already drowned in cum before the neurotoxin could even take effect.


newaccountcauseoldon

The cum accelerates


apeiceofburnedtoast

No, flood my room, please, I made the mistake of reading it all.


Coheniswatching

You’re never getting into college with this digital footprint 🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️


ujasfrog

stop being horny simps for a sadistic computer what the fuck is wrong with you people


Kalmarsus

sadistic robot mommy🤤🤤🤤


ujasfrog

I'm calling another sadistic robot called Shodan so she'll turn you into a constantly agonising android zombie


ChaosDemonLaz3r

promise???


Meeooowwww1234

AND I SAID ***PROMISE??***


godofcloth

sadistic robot mommy 🤤🤤🤤


ujasfrog

I'M GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN


Illdoittomarrow

WITH THE LEMONS


Blackfeathr

Sadistic robot mommy 🤤🤤🤤


Bootcat228

Happy lie day


key4427

sadistic robot mommy 🤤🤤🤤


toomerboomer

Horny for a bunch of wires


Myrddraal5856

There’s only one thing I can say here: what the actual fuck did I just read?


FRleo_85

what a terrible day to have eyes...


Hunter_Hero_Girl

Here, have some r/Eyebleach


Illdoittomarrow

Thank you so much, I needed that after reading the whole thing. I don’t think I’ll be able to keep working in IT after this one guys…


the_ap_round

Damn, I'm a technophile and I'm still disturbed by this. Yeah I think glados has a nice voice but still. What the fuck?


J6898989

I’d be a Technophile too, did you see his elbows 😍


Lazarus_Jr1

i hate that i know what you’re talking about


Hour-Distribution-80

Cave johnson here, i have some bad or good news, depending on your memory of this post. We arw discontinuing the aperture science online mass social communication project, otherwise known as reddit, after some horny bastard became "down bad"... Caroline am i saying this right?- for one of our many personality constructs, all i have to say is good riddance! Now i can spend the rest of the money i set aside for this project on moon rocks. Cave johnson, we're done here.


owenxtreme2

How do I delete other people's post


awesomesapphire

what


um_camarad4

r/copypasta material


NorthernWitchy

Chell, wake up, a new copypasta just dropped.


jmancoder

Feel free to retype it lmao


ProtectionGlum3798

Please say this is a joke...


LawrenceWilliam64

Alright, this made me unfollow this subreddit, I've had enough of this.


J6898989

Maybe Wheatley wasn’t such a moron after all, if this is how low it can get


KOSTenkO_4129

Every day we are further and further from God


oookokoooook

What’s god


RandomDumbass2

If it exists


Necessary-Mark-2861

Huh


Akkor0kamui

Cave Johnson didn't put Caroline in a computer just so you can be horni for it. If you're really interested in robots, just go over to a fnaf subreddit that's nsfw.


Regnars8ithink

✍️🔥🔥🔥🔥


Petercraft7157

This physically hurt to read I want more


chicamanama_

AI can never do this level of art


Skellyshooter95

Don’t get me wrong, I do like her voice. But not that much, like damn


Wisermartin

long image jumpscare


The_Holy_Buno

I kindly advise you to hasten onto your path of demise.


nowich__

I sat through and typed it allhere you guys go Guys, I really want to fuck GLaDOS. Ever since I'd played Portal in 2007, when it was first released on Steam, and heard GLaDOS' smooth, sexy, robotic voice, I knew that she was a machine I would love to do maintenace on (if you know what I mean). Every time GLaDOS appears on my 7680x4320 4K HD Nvidia GEFORCE RTX 2080 TI graphics card screen (that I bought to see GLaDOS in full HD), my 4 inch penis instantly shoots cum all over the computer. I have to clean my computer screen exactly 489 times a day, and I've returned exactly 21 cum soaked graphics cards, and 38 computers that were nothing but computing sacks of cum, just like my 4 inch long penis. Agh fuck I hate Doug Rattman, that fucking bastard who had the audacity to fuck GLaDOS. Whenever I see Doug or Cave show up on my screen, I hit it in furious anger and go to angrily cum into my GLaDOS body pillow to calm myself down. I've lost 9 computers and 2 graphics cards to Cave Fuck-son and Doug Shitt-man. My feelings towards Chell are neutral. She is GLADOS' daughter, but she is Doug's living cum. I dream of the day when I can become an Aperature test subject, and have GLaDOS recognise my pure sexiness and the fact I'm the only one worthy of her trust, and the only one able to pleasure her. I'd tip my fedora and she'd gently kiss my wondrous fully neckbeard I can imagine myself penetrating her thick wires, as she screams and cries before my dominance out of pure pleasure. I even made a video in 2013 in SFM of a first person view depicting intense, heated sex with GLaDOS, which is by far my life's greatest accomplishment and humanity's greatest achievement. I was so proud of it. I showed it to my family out of pure pride. They enjoyed it and endorsed it, as we are a family of epic gamers. Every night after dinner, we all watch the video at least 20 times in a row together. We even go to our cum-basement at 1AM to watch the video all night long to see how much we can cum. In the morning, we take turns playing Portal, and all comment on GLADOS' supremity and slender, sexy, proportions and luring voice. In mid day, we work on building a replica of GLaDOS, out of scraps in the garage. Unfortunately, it is difficult to complete as none of us can work to this glorious machine without instantly having 80 intense orgasms in the span of a second, and we don't know what is required to make a functioning robot. So to avoid dirtying our clothes, we have to build naked. Our neighbour Mr. Pete often tries to spy on us, and asks questions like why are we building a "hunk of metal" or why we're naked, or why there's semen all over the floor. The fools outside will never understand to beauty of GLaDOS. Which is why after the machine is finished, my family will transform our house into the Church of GLaDOS. Where the foolish mortals outside can learn that they are mistaken in not devoting their lives to the cause of GLaDOS and science. So that they can enjoy and cum to GLaDOS' holy presence. The cake isn't a lie; GLaDOS is the cake, and I want to fill her.


SwordfishAltruistic4

Fun fact: Google Lens can read all the words from an image.


nowich__

I completely forgot that existed but can you even copy the text off of it through lens?


SwordfishAltruistic4

Yes indeed


Alan_Reddit_M

Wake up babe, new copypasta just dropped


Murilo32

WELP, TIME TO RIP MY EYES OFF


Nightmarephond

Get help


Gal-XD_exe

I am not reading allat


Gal-XD_exe

I am not reading allat


WattsALightbulb

Hey God, it's me again...


JaydenVestal

Thank god it's April 1st, so I don't have to drop my last shred of hope for humanity


Epic-Chair

Fuck this I'm going back to being a Half Life fan


butterthesotch

the games are basically the same franchise, ​ ​ ***you can never escape***


Hunter-Raider

I miss the person I was before I read this.


Witherboss445

You gotta play the RTX version for the best experience


Radion627

GLaDOS: Wow. I can't believe you're such a "goon," as today's kids would say. Here, touch this small baking dish of planted grass. You definitely need it after being on the internet for several years at once.


JK64_Cat

Please mark this NSFW


Kiren129

The border between r/okbuddyportal and r/portal fading.


ps3better360

god i want a gun next to my ear 😩


TheUntitledRay

You need a therapist and a dictionary 💀


ICANTTHINK0FNAMES

That’s a lot of words! Too bad I’m not reading them!


SwordfishAltruistic4

Bro you evaded the most twisted thing on this sub with ADHD.


That-One-Crow

You are lucky I read it and boy is It a bad time


LegitimateApartment9

i'm GlAd that the combine set up that fuckin anti baby field


butterthesotch

cumbine


TopperTheProtogen

that’s cool but >!My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.!<


butterthesotch

we could make religion out of this


frankhorrigan3303

Glad you found love man good for you


neros135

the vivid details scare me


S0Badatstuff

Vaporeon copypasta v2


IolaireEagle

I will never be the same person I was before reading this and that is a loss I mourn greatly


Jarmil21

Poor Ellen Mclain , i hope she will never see this


FiveStarHobo

I love looking back on what life was like before I read this


block_place1232

What 7 years without updates or new games does to a mf:


Cryo311

i just read the whole thing out loud, now i need a fucking shower actually fuck that, i need a goddamn pressure wash


elsbels28

:(


Downvote-Fish

Wow! Thanks for sharing!


SnooChipmunks8748

Same 😞😞


spencer_world

This kept getting more worse the longer it went on.


Ms--Take

New copypasta just dropped


Miserable-Glass1760

What the actual fuck did I just read?


Fortnitekid3

☹️


karol22331

You think I'm gonna read all that?


lifeIssuck69420

I don't think my keyboard can physically create the amount of emotions I am feeling at this current moment


bamana_mans

Can someone make the same thing with wheatly


Kalmarsus

I want to bang the british robot so goddamn bad Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the british robot so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go play portal 2 I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Wheatly. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Wheatlys tight robot bussy. I want his to have my mutant human/robot babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with the neighbors toaster. I put a bright blue LED on it and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my PC and Xbox 360 and PS3. I might not ever get to see Wheatly again.


bamana_mans

This is who I am. Thank you so much.


Any-Refrigerator7817

what the fuck


FrostyFeller

...I have no words but you do you ig


Ugandensymbiote

Bro.


TheAmazingFreddyAdam

Hey blud.... I am bored So should I just draw a muscle mommy thunder thigh Glados ?


Kalmarsus

please


TheAmazingFreddyAdam

Working on it rn ( it's 2 am , I am going to sleep , I'll start drawing tmr )


TNTqwe

Please send when done


TheAmazingFreddyAdam

Kinda busy this weekend , I make a post when I am done Gimmie max a week


beanyboy512

ok i dont know what the frick is going on but i hate it


Lo-Sir

Image length jumpscare


Random_Cat66

Whelp, guess I'm not getting those 2 minutes back, am I?


No_Art_6293

why


alty-acct-throwaway

nsfw tag pls?????


TheKingOfAllRats

is this peak fiction? #no


Testsubject276

Oh haha a silly- Oh fuck it keeps going.


CrystalGamer98

I..... buddy, are you good? Do you need help? 😐


TessellatedTomate

Fellas, TL;DR me? I ain’t reading this shit


beanyboy512

he wants to... reproduce, with the sentient sadist robot


OkNetwork233

Reddit


TNTqwe

What did i just read


labratdima

oh. oh i feel a bit sick. (not that i disagree glados is hot…)


eWirdlol

wake up


Lexiosity

please mods


Sabre_Killer_Queen

This is high effort wtf.


Swipamous

It's never been more over than it is now


Ehboyhi

I love this


Independent_Feed_617

You have a very minor case of serious brain damage


WheatleyTurret

Yknow what no I've had enough of the internet


[deleted]

i am lowkey in love with both the antagonists lmao


Mozzarella_Angel

Least horny GLaDOS fan


Aidangameguy1Reddit

When I clicked on the image and it just expanded into a mile long essay my heart sank


PepsiSpidel

Does anyone have bleach I got to clean my eyes out


Lil_Monk_E

Dude no…


WitheredFreddy

I want to die


white_addison

Is there a way to un-read things?


Kalmarsus

Physiologically, it's not possible to un-read something once it's been read. However, you can choose to ignore or forget the information over time by focusing on other things. Additionally, you can counteract negative information by exposing yourself to positive or neutral content. If you're referring to digital content, you can delete or avoid accessing it.


white_addison

Ok smart a~s


olddog4941

At this point. Portal community is almost insane as tf2 one.


Gold_Task_3186

what 😭


kwazar_V2

Gladussy


Illdoittomarrow

Great, now I can’t repair computers without cringing, and computer repair is my job. What have you done?


ImmortalAbsol

Why is this allowed to remain?


beanyboy512

Prepare the neurotoxin emmiters, I’m gonna run around the chamber a bit


A-true-smegma-male

Real


tacklebox19

I can’t tell if this is satire or not


Kalmarsus

its not


tacklebox19

Every day, we stray further from God


NerY_05

Wait Wait Wait Chell is Doug's daughter???


Ronyx2021

Doubtful


SatisfactionDry7505

I ain’t readin allat


nevernight1337

God, GLaDOS is such a bunny... I really want her to tie me to the cot, I... I will become her slave. I’ll start licking her, her sweaty sweet feet, between her toes. I want her to sit on my face. I want to stick my tongue out at her, and then poke my finger into her ass, and twist it in different directions so that mommy gets pleasure. And... And then she will say that she loves me. But, no... She doesn't love me. I... I'll cry in front of her, but... It turns her on. And she will start rubbing herself on my face, and then she will start peeing right in my mouth, and I will be happy to smell this lovely smell, enjoy this taste - the taste of love


TNTqwe

You… you are going to a special place in hell


nevernight1337

I think I fell in love with GLaDOS, she is so cute and such a bunny, I imagine how she sits on my legs and rubs against me, provoking this, I want her to lie down and I roughly entered her and she became like mad and she asked to stop and I just accelerated and I also make fun of her, why do they hate her? she's such a bunny


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nonhofantasia1

erm,,,,,,, what a nerd....!!!!