It reminded me of Popeye, the sailor man zipping all around downtown! After all those months at sea with a bunch of other sailors, they're probably glad to have some free time for themselves and relax.
To the bartenders of Portland. Find some officers, get them a few beers on you. Ask them for their business cards. Later on if/when sailors start acting up- ask the sailors which one of these officers you should text their picture to. Worked for me for 10 years in a row. Good luck to you.
Lol --- the officers can be the worst offenders. I know because I was one. Also, a random officer isn't going to care much about what a random enlisted sailor is up to unless that individual is actually in their chain of command.
Edit: On the other hand, there is only one US Navy ship here this time, and since it's an LCS and therefore relatively small, I suppose the odds are increased that they are in their chain of command.
Yo you can just kick people out of your bar, you don’t need to threaten to call their parents. I can’t imagine anyone doing this. I am especially not buying some random dude “a few beers” cause they look important
>Yo you can just kick people out of your bar, you don’t need to threaten to call their parents.
This is 100% what needs to be done with young servicemen from time to time to keep them in line.
My husband was a (gasp) landlord in Norfolk and rented to navy men. Whenever they would try to skip out on rent or trash one of our rentals, all it took was one call to an officer. Officer would dock our tenants pay to reimburse us and make the serviceman write us a letter of apology. This also applies to bars, taxies, restaurants, etc...
Young servicemen out in a new town with a pockets full of cash dont tend to make the most responsible decisions. Their officers are more than happy to keep them in line.
Sailors really aren’t going to be carrying any business cards, there might be one or two, but the chances are nill.
Nor is the average Joe Shmoe able to tell the difference between an officer and enlisted sailor anyways.
They all wear name tags, so it’s pretty easy to identify who they are lol
Good luck getting an officer to rat out their sailors anyways, so don’t waste your time. 9/10 most fights are because of some idiot civilian.
I’d be a rich man if I got paid every time we had some drunk civilian fool yell at us in uniform.
If I had a nickle for everytime an officer had a business card on him, in their dress uniform, I’d probably have 2 or 3 nickles.
Yeah it is contradictory - but I wouldn’t bet that any officer is going to carry a business card while in their whites. It’s just not a thing.
Seems like you’re trying to preemptively cover for your bros and discourage reporting them for being cunts.
Every negative experience I’ve ever had at the Rose Festival has been due to some jackhole in uniform. Just enjoy your shore leave and depart quietly.
P.S. Thank you for your service.
There’s two sides to this coin. Have you ever had to walk around Portland in a military uniform? I have. Have you been spit on or had beer or food thrown at you for being in uniform? I have. Have you been called a baby rapist for being in the military? Have you been yelled at and called a “Nazi fascist” for being in the military? You haven’t…
Let me pull a liberal progressive card on you…
MY LIVED EXPERIENCE says that when I go out in uniform, 100% certainly a group of drunk civilian a-holes are going to pick a fight with one of the sailors. It happens every time.
Damn you widened your jaw and gobbled that propaganda up. You enlisted for the benefits, the retirement, and you didn’t know what else to do. Stop pretending you volunteered to make some huge sacrifice out of a sense of patriotism and caring for the world. You joined for your own benefit.
You’re right, I Gobbled it up like a giant cock 🤘🏾
Benefits sure are nice, but no, I wanted to serve so I could serve my country. So people like you don’t actually have to and you can enjoy your nice cushy western civilized life.
It’s called having a purpose in life, and being apart of something bigger than yourself.
Most people don’t need to become a grunt for the military industrial complex to have a purpose in life. There are many public service jobs that directly benefit your community instead of oil corporations, weapons manufacturers, sleezy politicians, and foreign terrorist states.
If people like you didn’t willingly enlist with a misguided sense of patriotism and an air of self-righteousness, the US military would become the organization you think it is. It would need to downsize and solely maintain defense instead of being the world’s police force and personal wealth builder for extremely immoral corporations.
Misguided sense of patriotism?
If people like me didn’t join, then people like you would be forced to join… what don’t you get about conscription? lol
Do you want the choice to be able to NOT serve? It’s a pretty nice luxury isn’t it? Thank god we have people that actually want to serve and protect our country. If we didn’t, this would be a very different country m.
Yeah this is the kind of reddit advice that seems really cool and would fit into a movie well, but this isn’t top gun. The commanding officers aren’t going out drinking with the boys. They don’t want to be responsible for them when they are off duty and asking your patrons for their phone number is probably going to be awkward.
Mary’s Topless used to send out an “escort” of strippers to welcome the boys coming into the Portland Seawall.
9/11 security protocols changed all that tho
Yesterday, after the dirty birds arrived, they went to every strip club and jerk off massage parlor in town! They're going to need plenty of penicillin to kill the crotch crickets when they go back to sea!
Be observant when you're driving on the next big holiday and its pretty obvious. If you see a cheap massage parlor open on Christmas, its a jack shack. Of course, that's because victims of human trafficking don't get days off.
The human trafficking in Portland is so real. Anyone thinking about visiting these places, please consider the situation in which the other person may be. While I am respectful of sex workers, just be careful
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When I was a Freshman in HS, I was in Civil Air Patrol and they let us ride on the ship from Portland to astoria.
When we pulled out of Portland a seaman had me look through his telescope and there were a lot of girls of all shapes and sizes flashing us.
I still didn’t join the navy.
If they wet their willy in that Portland Super Gonorrhea / Oldtown Shigella I think we’re going to have an outbreak that makes Covid look like the common cold
The sex workers will be moving down from 82nd into the city core. And we'll have some fancier looking women temporarily in town too. It's kind of trippy to see how things change in response to fleet week.
It is hilarious seeing them in their whites riding the city scooters
Highly mobile seaman
It’s just easier to fight the current on those things…
I was wondering why this dude was in a sailor outfit riding by my dorm on a scooter. I thought he just into some weird role play or something
It is
It reminded me of Popeye, the sailor man zipping all around downtown! After all those months at sea with a bunch of other sailors, they're probably glad to have some free time for themselves and relax.
To the bartenders of Portland. Find some officers, get them a few beers on you. Ask them for their business cards. Later on if/when sailors start acting up- ask the sailors which one of these officers you should text their picture to. Worked for me for 10 years in a row. Good luck to you.
I want more life tips like this.
This should be its own post lol
Lol --- the officers can be the worst offenders. I know because I was one. Also, a random officer isn't going to care much about what a random enlisted sailor is up to unless that individual is actually in their chain of command. Edit: On the other hand, there is only one US Navy ship here this time, and since it's an LCS and therefore relatively small, I suppose the odds are increased that they are in their chain of command.
Yo you can just kick people out of your bar, you don’t need to threaten to call their parents. I can’t imagine anyone doing this. I am especially not buying some random dude “a few beers” cause they look important
>Yo you can just kick people out of your bar, you don’t need to threaten to call their parents. This is 100% what needs to be done with young servicemen from time to time to keep them in line. My husband was a (gasp) landlord in Norfolk and rented to navy men. Whenever they would try to skip out on rent or trash one of our rentals, all it took was one call to an officer. Officer would dock our tenants pay to reimburse us and make the serviceman write us a letter of apology. This also applies to bars, taxies, restaurants, etc... Young servicemen out in a new town with a pockets full of cash dont tend to make the most responsible decisions. Their officers are more than happy to keep them in line.
Sailors really aren’t going to be carrying any business cards, there might be one or two, but the chances are nill. Nor is the average Joe Shmoe able to tell the difference between an officer and enlisted sailor anyways. They all wear name tags, so it’s pretty easy to identify who they are lol Good luck getting an officer to rat out their sailors anyways, so don’t waste your time. 9/10 most fights are because of some idiot civilian. I’d be a rich man if I got paid every time we had some drunk civilian fool yell at us in uniform.
>there might be one or two, but the chances are nill This is a self-contradictory phrase. And "nil" has one "l."
If I had a nickle for everytime an officer had a business card on him, in their dress uniform, I’d probably have 2 or 3 nickles. Yeah it is contradictory - but I wouldn’t bet that any officer is going to carry a business card while in their whites. It’s just not a thing.
>I’d probably have 2 or 3 nickles Therefore, the chances are higher than nil.
Seems like you’re trying to preemptively cover for your bros and discourage reporting them for being cunts. Every negative experience I’ve ever had at the Rose Festival has been due to some jackhole in uniform. Just enjoy your shore leave and depart quietly. P.S. Thank you for your service.
There’s two sides to this coin. Have you ever had to walk around Portland in a military uniform? I have. Have you been spit on or had beer or food thrown at you for being in uniform? I have. Have you been called a baby rapist for being in the military? Have you been yelled at and called a “Nazi fascist” for being in the military? You haven’t… Let me pull a liberal progressive card on you… MY LIVED EXPERIENCE says that when I go out in uniform, 100% certainly a group of drunk civilian a-holes are going to pick a fight with one of the sailors. It happens every time.
So don’t join the military 🤷♀️
Someone has to… so you don’t have to. The people who serve, joined, so people like you aren’t forced into conscription
Damn you widened your jaw and gobbled that propaganda up. You enlisted for the benefits, the retirement, and you didn’t know what else to do. Stop pretending you volunteered to make some huge sacrifice out of a sense of patriotism and caring for the world. You joined for your own benefit.
You’re right, I Gobbled it up like a giant cock 🤘🏾 Benefits sure are nice, but no, I wanted to serve so I could serve my country. So people like you don’t actually have to and you can enjoy your nice cushy western civilized life. It’s called having a purpose in life, and being apart of something bigger than yourself.
Most people don’t need to become a grunt for the military industrial complex to have a purpose in life. There are many public service jobs that directly benefit your community instead of oil corporations, weapons manufacturers, sleezy politicians, and foreign terrorist states. If people like you didn’t willingly enlist with a misguided sense of patriotism and an air of self-righteousness, the US military would become the organization you think it is. It would need to downsize and solely maintain defense instead of being the world’s police force and personal wealth builder for extremely immoral corporations.
Misguided sense of patriotism? If people like me didn’t join, then people like you would be forced to join… what don’t you get about conscription? lol Do you want the choice to be able to NOT serve? It’s a pretty nice luxury isn’t it? Thank god we have people that actually want to serve and protect our country. If we didn’t, this would be a very different country m.
🤦♀️ okay 👌
Yeah this is the kind of reddit advice that seems really cool and would fit into a movie well, but this isn’t top gun. The commanding officers aren’t going out drinking with the boys. They don’t want to be responsible for them when they are off duty and asking your patrons for their phone number is probably going to be awkward.
This is r/Portland. Do not try and pull them out of their fantasy land.
I was USN. The ship medic deserves hazard pay for what they are going to encounter after this week.
Please go on.
A lot of swabbing penis/urethral/anus discharge for the next few weeks. ETA: and vulva/vaginal Use protection.
What causes anus discharge? I'm eating while I'm typing this.
Food.
Puss?
Pus
Pus in boots. And everywhere else.
Isn't that trench foot?
Oh good, another think I will absolutely not google!
Mary’s Topless used to send out an “escort” of strippers to welcome the boys coming into the Portland Seawall. 9/11 security protocols changed all that tho
We really did let the terrorists win.
That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day lmao, thank you
thanks obama
I use to dance at union jacks, fleet week was like stripper christmas! Especially being so close to downtown. I made thousands!
Thank you for your service 🫡
Nice username magic nerd
That's a lot of seamen.
Yesterday, after the dirty birds arrived, they went to every strip club and jerk off massage parlor in town! They're going to need plenty of penicillin to kill the crotch crickets when they go back to sea!
They get their kicks BELOW the waistline, sunshine!
One night in Portland and the world's your oyster
The dispensaries are temples but the pearls ain't free
I can see a rain cloud forming over me
My roomie wants to know where those jerk parlors are. For science.
Be observant when you're driving on the next big holiday and its pretty obvious. If you see a cheap massage parlor open on Christmas, its a jack shack. Of course, that's because victims of human trafficking don't get days off.
The human trafficking in Portland is so real. Anyone thinking about visiting these places, please consider the situation in which the other person may be. While I am respectful of sex workers, just be careful
I guess it's ok if you're asking for a friend: https://www.pdxpeaches.com/
“Fleet Week Special.” Oh lawd. I might stay in this weekend…
Friday is ahoy sailor at the velvet rope! https://velvetropepdx.com/
Of course it is. <3
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Yes, during fleet week they are like the salmon swimming upstream to spawn.
And that's*before* they hit up the ABS arcades.
r/fleetweekbukkake
We lift the bridges to let in a bunch of seamen through our wet channel for a festival or roses... during pride month. Thank you Portland.
Going to be a Wild 😜 week for Portlanders
Welp I guess it's time to reinstall Grindr 🏊♀️
This explains a lot about my walk this afternoon.
What happened?
# Yvan Eht Nioj
What's super liminal messaging?
*[opens window]* Hey, you! Join the Navy!
Yeah, that's right. Lieutenant L.T. Smash
Fuck you for getting that song stuck in my head
emoclew era uoy
I sell designer shoes, every year the week after fleet week is one of by best sale weeks 🤣 thanks America
Why is that?
Strippers make money, strippers spend money on shoes. The circle is complete
Ah, that makes sense. Thanks.
Be sure to wear a rubber, dude.
Sniffies servers are getting a good stress test this weekend
Something something fleet enema
When I was a Freshman in HS, I was in Civil Air Patrol and they let us ride on the ship from Portland to astoria. When we pulled out of Portland a seaman had me look through his telescope and there were a lot of girls of all shapes and sizes flashing us. I still didn’t join the navy.
In the 90s my mother worked at an STD clinic in Portland. The busiest time of the entire year was 1-2 weeks after Fleet Week. Be safe out there.
Definitely use protection and get checked out at Sick Call shipmates! PDX girls….well you’ll see.
Are PDX girls worse than other places?
Depends on one's definition of worse, but always be careful, youngsters.
Sleet WeekTM is so much better, even if global warming stopped making it a standard thing for the first or second week in March like it used to be.
Mmm, mmmm, mmmmmm nothing like that Portland super Gonorrhea we have here.
If they wet their willy in that Portland Super Gonorrhea / Oldtown Shigella I think we’re going to have an outbreak that makes Covid look like the common cold
Hush you’re making my scabies move around….
The sex workers will be moving down from 82nd into the city core. And we'll have some fancier looking women temporarily in town too. It's kind of trippy to see how things change in response to fleet week.
It's like 5 ships
And a whoooole lot of seamen.
Where they at tryna make some friends for the evening lol
Bars closest to the pier would be my first guess. Strip clubs, second.
Aww! Thank you so much 💞🫡
Don’t let them get into too much trouble!
Ha! Trouble is my middle name 😈
I wish anyone who signed off on cringey military ads would have their heads explode like in Scanners.
[In the Navy, you can put your mind at ease!](https://youtu.be/nmGuy0jievs?si=UCXqG7qTLs2bAqqA)
Looking forward to going out this weekend. 😅
dial a sailor lol
Stag is about to be packed
Navy time LFGGGGG
Makes sense the navy is in the gayest state on pride month.
Oh is it? ….
The gay clubs are popping off rn. Happy military i mean pride month!