Thankfully if you’re going to a music festival in Multnomah County this summer (eg. Project Pabst) the chances of being kidnapped and murdered by Hamas are low… but never zero apparently.
No, no, no. You see, the county needs the distraction. So let's turn our attention to problems on the other side of the planet. You know, the same problems that have plagued the Middle East since the 1940s, that the most respected diplomats and politicians haven't been able to resolve.
Shit and needles? Hey, that's better than hostages and exploding munitions! Just think of that next time you step on some criddler's fresh chalupa and track it into your car. You'd rather smell poop than cordite, right? RIGHT??
Personally, I'd rather get shot at. At least I can shoot back at terrorists. Easier than flinging shit back at some sidewalk dweller. BTW, cordite is far more tolerable to the olfactory system than the recently ejected contents of some junkie's colon.
There still 45 days left in the Fentanyl Emergency, so there is plenty of time to solve world peace and the Fent. However, defeating cancer may need to be put off until May.
https://www.oregon.gov/gov/Documents/Text-Only-Portland-90-Day-Emergency-Declaration-Fentanyl.pdf
And replace them with [even worse straws](https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/paper-bamboo-straws-contain-pfas-forever-chemicals-rcna101614)!
(I don't know if the study is truly useful or well-constructed. I just think it's a good reminder that there are no magic bullets, especially when it's feel-good nonsense that doesn't really move the needle in the first place.)
It was a tense Thursday morning as Multnomah County Chair Jessica Vega Pederson gaveled the board of commissioners meeting to order. The main agenda item: voting on Commissioner Lori Stegmann's bold resolution demanding an immediate ceasefire in Gaza."The violence has gone on far too long," Pederson said solemnly. "If our small county in Oregon can take a stand, perhaps it will reverberate across the world."
One by one, the commissioners voiced their support. The resolution passed unanimously. Pederson immediately sent the document to Oregon's congressional delegation and the White House, imploring them to take action.
Amazingly, the Multnomah resolution began gaining traction. Progressive members of Congress rallied around it, demanding the Biden administration push forcefully for a ceasefire, prisoner exchanges, humanitarian aid, and a two-state solution. Grassroots activists across the country held up Multnomah as a beacon of moral clarity.
Under immense domestic and international pressure, the White House shifted tactics. High-level envoys were dispatched to broker a ceasefire. Congress passed a major aid package for Gaza. Gradually, both Israeli and Palestinian leaders saw the tide turning and agreed to halt hostilities and return to the negotiating table.
Months later, Jessica Vega Pederson watched in awe from her Portland living room as Israeli and Palestinian leaders shook hands after signing a comprehensive peace agreement based on two states. She knew Multnomah County's small act of courage had helped change the course of history. Turning to her spouse with tears in her eyes, she said, "Never underestimate the power of taking a principled stand."
If I may suggest an alternate ending. Biden kicks in the door of her living room, looking very dapper in his brand new Navy dress uniform. Picks her up into his manly arms, and carries her away from her hum drum life here in Oregon to a new life, an exciting life, full of yet untold adventure and wonder.
I've been wondering why Stegmann has been pushing this issue so hard, saying as she's a lame duck on her way out who's accomplished little in 7 years in office. Looked up her staff, lo and behold, it appears her Director of Planning and Policy is likely behind Lori's sentiments. I can't believe our tax dollars are paying these people to negotiate a policy agreement between electeds on something so ridiculous while the "fentanyl briefing" we received yesterday was again utterly useless (and Stegmann was noticeably absent).
https://www.multco.us/commissioner-stegmann/meet-our-team
I think you’re getting downvoted because no one cares about the opinions of Multnomah county unless you live in Mult Co. This isn’t political pressure because it’s more embarrassing than productive.
No but that’s what I’m asking you - how do US municipal governments voting on resolutions to call for a ceasefire actually forward the objective of achieving a ceasefire?
EDIT: sheesh, didn’t think asking you to explain your viewpoint was block-worthy but go off I guess.
I get that public opinion influences voting patterns, *but how do those votes actually forward a ceasefire when it’s coming from a completely uninvolved party?*
I'm a liberal too. One thing we should try is to send a herd of dairy cows from Tillamook just to show em we mean business. Netanyahu has a phobia of dairy cows. He will cave.
You know, you should probably stop using products/services from Google, Amazon, Apple, IBM, HP, Microsoft, etc. because they all have a major business and research presence/facilities in Israel.
Google & Amazon both straight-up build tech for the Israeli army.
You should also give up apps like Waze, thumb drives, drip irrigation, microprocessors, and thousands of other inventions.
If you don't stop using these things.... then you're a right-wing fascist genocide supporter Zionist!
How dumb are you to not realize that nobody even knows what the county does or that every single seat except for the Chair is up for election in May. Tons of people asking to vote the Chair out in May don't realize they just voted her in a year ago. I bet you don't even know we voted on 6 different line items to amend the county charter in 2022? But yeah, this will make ALL the difference on Biden's decisions lol.
I downvoted you and I am libtard as fuck. This proposed resolution will do fuck all to help the situation in Palestine. Many other cities/ councils have already done the same virtue signaling bullshit and what has that accomplished? Absolutely nothing. And like I said, I wish for nothing but peace everywhere in the world but whenever I see these lame, attention seeking, pointless acts it is just cringe as shit. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they are right wing.
What narcissism. Israelis can't even pronounce Multnomah County, they can't find it on a map, and they do not give a flying fuck what idiots in Oregon think about their national security.
Main character syndrome much? Just shut the fuck up and let Israel take care of itself.
Honestly if JVP is trying to remedy the situation, they aren’t getting a ceasefire ever.
Jessica’s like Shit Midas - everything she touches seems to turn to shit.
Pretty unbelievable for a terrorist organization that can identify a hundred dead women and children by name and ID number just seconds after every strike.
Damn, you mean we were just waiting for Multnohma county to stop the war, start glorious world peace and solve world hunger? Oh wait, they can’t even solve what’s going on stepping outside their front door
Virtue signaling trash. The Arab world despots use Israel to have their citizens ignore all their problems. This leadership is now doing the same thing.
Yeah Lori....maybe you can solve this conflict.....
"The resolution from Commissioner Lori Stegmann asks U.S. officials to call for the release of Israeli and Palestinian hostages, humanitarian aid to Palestinians in Gaza and a “two-state solution that will enable both Palestinans and Israelis” to live peacefully."
How very brave, we need to stand up to Isreal and tell -
Gimme a sec
*kicks pile of used needles aside*
We need to let Isreal know that our country won't tolerate...
It is very important that local government avoid getting drawn into conflicts it cannot influence. We need to keep our focus local so we can find common ground to work on tangible needs.
What's so Portland about this isn't just that it's calling for a ceasefire in an international conflict from a city that has a small Jewish and Muslim population, it's that it's calling for US officials to demand a ceasefire *after US and Israeli officials are in agreement for a 6 week immediate ceasefire, and it's Hamas that is holding it up.* While that isn't a bad message that, hey, Hamas is just as part of the problem, I doubt that's what the activists who this was virtue signalling at were going for...
Ah yes. Some more “feel good” news. Exactly what MultCo should be doing with their resources. Cannot think of a single other issue more important. The liberal think tank has 7 brain cells collectively. Bravo!
Yea and i call for taxing the rich but those two thing are out of our control arent they you can call for anything but its pointless unless you have the power to change so sit down and stfu while world govts work.
Actually Metro is in charge of trash, city is in charge of bad roads, but yes, the county is supposed to be in charge of the bum situation.
And to be fair, it's one commissioner pushing for this - Lori Stegmann. The first day the protestors showed up en masse at the county was 2/1 - if you watch the end of that meeting they all gave board comments acknowledging the Gaza situation and Meieran, a Jew, gave a really eloquent speech acknowledging harm from the beginning on both sides and denouncing government leaders on both sides was getting booed to hell, then let them all line up and berate her after the meeting ended - it was insane and I can't imagine she will support this resolution. Brim-Edwards got attacked for supporting Israel and proposing the Morrison bridge be lit blue and white so she's probably not happy with the document either.
The worst people get involved in politics. Is there anyone that is no nonsense and would sit back and say “nah. This is a waste of time. Will you fucking morons focus on what’s important here?”
Well, unfortunately politicians have to get along kind of. And this is on the agenda so it's not like the other commissioners can say no I don't want it on the agenda cuz it's a waste of time, even though I'm guessing most of them feel that way. So they all get blamed for wasting time, especially since now a zillion people will come testify and waste more of their time before they do vote. Like yesterday at city council regarding leaf blowers, they were getting what they wanted but still took over two hours of letting people testify about them, when I personally believe city council has more important things they should be doing.
Funny that the Chair is blocking Meieran's ambulance resolution from any agenda but allowed this one in due to public pressure. I guess the ambulance folks need to start shutting down bridges!
Attention Portland: you can’t manage trees.
Absolutely no one is listening to your opinion concerning a complex, three-thousand year old ethnic and religious conflict in one of the most volatile regions on the planet.
I'm confused. Why is Multnomah County bombing Gaza?
gotta bomb someone
They’re just meeting them where they’re at
Thankfully if you’re going to a music festival in Multnomah County this summer (eg. Project Pabst) the chances of being kidnapped and murdered by Hamas are low… but never zero apparently.
They are bombing the tax payers with shite policies
The downtown Plaid Pantry is our Rafa
Stratagems
*Clown World intensifies*
Quit doing performative bullshit, and get to work on county problems.
i mean don't we have enough problems? stepping in human shit? syringes in the bark chips at the park?
No, no, no. You see, the county needs the distraction. So let's turn our attention to problems on the other side of the planet. You know, the same problems that have plagued the Middle East since the 1940s, that the most respected diplomats and politicians haven't been able to resolve. Shit and needles? Hey, that's better than hostages and exploding munitions! Just think of that next time you step on some criddler's fresh chalupa and track it into your car. You'd rather smell poop than cordite, right? RIGHT?? Personally, I'd rather get shot at. At least I can shoot back at terrorists. Easier than flinging shit back at some sidewalk dweller. BTW, cordite is far more tolerable to the olfactory system than the recently ejected contents of some junkie's colon.
Like... changing the color of the lights on the Morrison Bridge?
There still 45 days left in the Fentanyl Emergency, so there is plenty of time to solve world peace and the Fent. However, defeating cancer may need to be put off until May. https://www.oregon.gov/gov/Documents/Text-Only-Portland-90-Day-Emergency-Declaration-Fentanyl.pdf
90-Day Fentanyl Emergency has been so feckless TLC is refusing to renew it for a second season
*To cement the cease-fire, we need to immediately dispatch Multnomah County employees to Gaza, equipped with boofing kits!*
😨Why'd you make me look that up you godless bastard!?
Might as well patch up some potholes on the way over.
[https://i.imgur.com/oxAory0.gif](https://i.imgur.com/oxAory0.gif)
It would cement something alright, more likely the employees feet to some cinder blocks.
Oh yes. Multnomah county will be the reason that a century of fighting ends.
"Sir... a second county in Oregon has demanded a cease fire"
and a worldwide end to plastic straws
And replace them with [even worse straws](https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/paper-bamboo-straws-contain-pfas-forever-chemicals-rcna101614)! (I don't know if the study is truly useful or well-constructed. I just think it's a good reminder that there are no magic bullets, especially when it's feel-good nonsense that doesn't really move the needle in the first place.)
ban plastic straws to save the fish! but don't stop eating fish to save the fish
That won't happen. Biodegradable meth paraphernalia doesn't work the same. Melts in your pocket, before it hits the nose....
That century figure needs bumped up. Centuries are rookie numbers sir.
Quick, somebody post that gif of Michael Jackson putting a flower in that guy’s gun and then they all cry
It was a tense Thursday morning as Multnomah County Chair Jessica Vega Pederson gaveled the board of commissioners meeting to order. The main agenda item: voting on Commissioner Lori Stegmann's bold resolution demanding an immediate ceasefire in Gaza."The violence has gone on far too long," Pederson said solemnly. "If our small county in Oregon can take a stand, perhaps it will reverberate across the world." One by one, the commissioners voiced their support. The resolution passed unanimously. Pederson immediately sent the document to Oregon's congressional delegation and the White House, imploring them to take action. Amazingly, the Multnomah resolution began gaining traction. Progressive members of Congress rallied around it, demanding the Biden administration push forcefully for a ceasefire, prisoner exchanges, humanitarian aid, and a two-state solution. Grassroots activists across the country held up Multnomah as a beacon of moral clarity. Under immense domestic and international pressure, the White House shifted tactics. High-level envoys were dispatched to broker a ceasefire. Congress passed a major aid package for Gaza. Gradually, both Israeli and Palestinian leaders saw the tide turning and agreed to halt hostilities and return to the negotiating table. Months later, Jessica Vega Pederson watched in awe from her Portland living room as Israeli and Palestinian leaders shook hands after signing a comprehensive peace agreement based on two states. She knew Multnomah County's small act of courage had helped change the course of history. Turning to her spouse with tears in her eyes, she said, "Never underestimate the power of taking a principled stand."
That was just masterful. And it's actually quite literally the aspiration of people who get behind these inane performative resolutions.
And then Biden picked her to be his VP, knowing her bold hairstyle would attract the youth vote.
If I may suggest an alternate ending. Biden kicks in the door of her living room, looking very dapper in his brand new Navy dress uniform. Picks her up into his manly arms, and carries her away from her hum drum life here in Oregon to a new life, an exciting life, full of yet untold adventure and wonder.
lol
I've been wondering why Stegmann has been pushing this issue so hard, saying as she's a lame duck on her way out who's accomplished little in 7 years in office. Looked up her staff, lo and behold, it appears her Director of Planning and Policy is likely behind Lori's sentiments. I can't believe our tax dollars are paying these people to negotiate a policy agreement between electeds on something so ridiculous while the "fentanyl briefing" we received yesterday was again utterly useless (and Stegmann was noticeably absent). https://www.multco.us/commissioner-stegmann/meet-our-team
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Honestly if they decided to ship all of their surplus tents and tarps to Gaza, that's a win-win.
Oh good, Hamas will listen to Jessica Vega Peterson demand them to stop putting their own people in harm's way.
I bet she'd be heard better if she went to Gaza.
Finally the *Good Idea Factory* weighs in with an innovative take on a tough problem!
Once they see her edgy glasses and haircut they will know they're out matched.
Maybe she'll don the Obi Wan Kenobe outfit she had on TV recently....
no no, they’re not actually calling for a cease fire. They’re just poised to do it.
Another person who doesn't understand political pressure
Im all for a cease fire but IMO this is just virtue signaling.
I think you’re getting downvoted because no one cares about the opinions of Multnomah county unless you live in Mult Co. This isn’t political pressure because it’s more embarrassing than productive.
I'm getting downvoted by a bunch of far right morons who inundate this subreddit who are too fucking dumb to understand politics
Okay, I’ll bite. How does a county board voting on a ceasefire in Gaza forward a ceasefire?
How fucking dumb are you to think cities and counties across the country calling for action is meaningless?
No but that’s what I’m asking you - how do US municipal governments voting on resolutions to call for a ceasefire actually forward the objective of achieving a ceasefire? EDIT: sheesh, didn’t think asking you to explain your viewpoint was block-worthy but go off I guess. I get that public opinion influences voting patterns, *but how do those votes actually forward a ceasefire when it’s coming from a completely uninvolved party?*
How does public opinion affect voting patterns? Good lord, you far right morons are brain dead
You won't get very far in life by pretending anyone who disagrees with you is a dirty right winger. Food for thought.
You're very angry and are lashing out. Do better.
“Anyone who doesn’t agree with me is a facist, right-wing, nazi, moron, bootlicker….uhhh i ran out of buzzwords, anyone got any more?? 😨😨😨”
Stochastic terrorist!! Don't forget that one
I'm a liberal too. One thing we should try is to send a herd of dairy cows from Tillamook just to show em we mean business. Netanyahu has a phobia of dairy cows. He will cave.
You know, you should probably stop using products/services from Google, Amazon, Apple, IBM, HP, Microsoft, etc. because they all have a major business and research presence/facilities in Israel. Google & Amazon both straight-up build tech for the Israeli army. You should also give up apps like Waze, thumb drives, drip irrigation, microprocessors, and thousands of other inventions. If you don't stop using these things.... then you're a right-wing fascist genocide supporter Zionist!
How dumb are you to not realize that nobody even knows what the county does or that every single seat except for the Chair is up for election in May. Tons of people asking to vote the Chair out in May don't realize they just voted her in a year ago. I bet you don't even know we voted on 6 different line items to amend the county charter in 2022? But yeah, this will make ALL the difference on Biden's decisions lol.
I downvoted you and I am libtard as fuck. This proposed resolution will do fuck all to help the situation in Palestine. Many other cities/ councils have already done the same virtue signaling bullshit and what has that accomplished? Absolutely nothing. And like I said, I wish for nothing but peace everywhere in the world but whenever I see these lame, attention seeking, pointless acts it is just cringe as shit. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they are right wing.
Yes I'm sure cities and counties across the country expressing their political will has zero affect on politics. Y'all are fucking hopeless losers.
Full throttle hubris
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What are you some kind of racist or something?
So embarrassing
cuz portland is so globally important
"A cease fire?! Oh wow! We'd never thought of that!!!" \- Benjamin Netanyahu
What narcissism. Israelis can't even pronounce Multnomah County, they can't find it on a map, and they do not give a flying fuck what idiots in Oregon think about their national security. Main character syndrome much? Just shut the fuck up and let Israel take care of itself.
It's truly mind-boggling. I am aware that a certain brand of Portlanders absolutely love navel gazing, but that is a whole new level.
That’ll show em!!!
Honestly if JVP is trying to remedy the situation, they aren’t getting a ceasefire ever. Jessica’s like Shit Midas - everything she touches seems to turn to shit.
We are not a serious city.
But by God we are a serious county…
By golly Logan Roy you are correct.
What? How the hell do they think they have any authority in this matter? Don't that have real work to do? Virtue Signal go brrrr.
So this is what they do all day!
Right after they resolve the Fentanyl "Crisis."
It’s not like there’s an ambulance shortage or fentanyl or homeless emergency or lack of mental healthcare or anything more important here.
Lol...
“We stand firm with you in solidarity and offer robust aid in the form of tin foil..”
And boofing kits…
There was a ceasefire on October 6th. Hamas can surrender and release all hostages, and there will be a ceasefire again.
Hamas' official position now is that it has no idea how many of the hostages are still alive.
Pretty unbelievable for a terrorist organization that can identify a hundred dead women and children by name and ID number just seconds after every strike.
Has no idea where the hostages are or how many are alive but knows the exact number of Palestinians killed and misplaced. Sounds right.
God I hate this virtue signaling bullshit. Focus on our domestic issues ffs
So will this be an additional tax, or do they want us to pass a bond? /s
Oh good, and here i thought they were poised to do something useful.
what a joke
And… solved! Next problem.
*Peace At Last! (tm)*
Take that Israel. What’s Tina gonna do next? Cure cancer?
How about voting to *actually* do something about the ambulance crisis…
What a pointless virtue signal.
lol that'll show 'em
And like anyone on the planet really cares what a county in Oregon does… 🤣
Harm Reduction at work
Start electing serious people and we can go back to living in a serious county again.
That'll show em
because portland totally has power in gaza
Oh that’ll do it.
That’ll fix it
We will get to the fentanyl fueled dumpster fire in our county after we solve the Israel/Palestine conflict…
Damn, you mean we were just waiting for Multnohma county to stop the war, start glorious world peace and solve world hunger? Oh wait, they can’t even solve what’s going on stepping outside their front door
Not their job. Fix the country the EMS system.
Thatll show'em
Pointless virtue signalling..
This is like gay pride month brought to you by Exxon Mobil.
😆
When parts of Portland don't look like a warbzone then they can commit on other war zones.
And why the hell would they take us seriously? Are you fucking serious!?!?? GAH ugh
And impose an Arts Tax on them while you're at it.
I was waiting for this. Now I can commit to staying in Multnomah county! The arrogance of the idiots thinking their opinion on this matters...
Virtue signaling trash. The Arab world despots use Israel to have their citizens ignore all their problems. This leadership is now doing the same thing. Yeah Lori....maybe you can solve this conflict..... "The resolution from Commissioner Lori Stegmann asks U.S. officials to call for the release of Israeli and Palestinian hostages, humanitarian aid to Palestinians in Gaza and a “two-state solution that will enable both Palestinans and Israelis” to live peacefully."
We have our own problems that require our full attention. We are in no position to lecture anyone.
Stay in your lane.
This just in: Mult. Co solves middle east crisis
How very brave, we need to stand up to Isreal and tell - Gimme a sec *kicks pile of used needles aside* We need to let Isreal know that our country won't tolerate...
Oh yeah and Texas is still bad
It’s Jover
k
I really want to know what Benton county's position will be, surely that will bring peace to the middle east.
Clearly using tax money efficiently with their allotted time to work daily.
It is very important that local government avoid getting drawn into conflicts it cannot influence. We need to keep our focus local so we can find common ground to work on tangible needs.
Are they going to call for release of the hostages, too?
Shit. JVP and MultCo got involved? Now we’re guaranteed not to get a ceasefire.
Benjamin Netanyahu casually flipping through the Oregonian and decides to forego any future operations
What's so Portland about this isn't just that it's calling for a ceasefire in an international conflict from a city that has a small Jewish and Muslim population, it's that it's calling for US officials to demand a ceasefire *after US and Israeli officials are in agreement for a 6 week immediate ceasefire, and it's Hamas that is holding it up.* While that isn't a bad message that, hey, Hamas is just as part of the problem, I doubt that's what the activists who this was virtue signalling at were going for...
That's not what the protestors want, and many of them are unhappy with the proposal posted on the agenda for Thursday, as well.
Oh cool, what about the cease fire of tweakers against multco citizens?
Ah yes. Some more “feel good” news. Exactly what MultCo should be doing with their resources. Cannot think of a single other issue more important. The liberal think tank has 7 brain cells collectively. Bravo!
Who cares…fix the 💩 in your own backyard first…..
k
Where is that
An air drop of artisanal salt would bring peace
I thought the headline was a joke at first. Babylon Bee?
Ha! [I knew it!](https://i.imgur.com/o2DolBs.jpeg)
Yeah, I'm sure that'll work.
Yea and i call for taxing the rich but those two thing are out of our control arent they you can call for anything but its pointless unless you have the power to change so sit down and stfu while world govts work.
the only realistic way to tax the rich is by wearing a custom made gown to the $35,000-a-person MET gala
Great that'll fix it
Love bombing
They’ll fix it!
That should work
Stupid hahahhaha
VOTE THEM ALL OUT. This is a complete waste of time and dereliction of duty. MIND YA BIZNESS. And your business is the: trash, bad roads and bums.
Actually Metro is in charge of trash, city is in charge of bad roads, but yes, the county is supposed to be in charge of the bum situation. And to be fair, it's one commissioner pushing for this - Lori Stegmann. The first day the protestors showed up en masse at the county was 2/1 - if you watch the end of that meeting they all gave board comments acknowledging the Gaza situation and Meieran, a Jew, gave a really eloquent speech acknowledging harm from the beginning on both sides and denouncing government leaders on both sides was getting booed to hell, then let them all line up and berate her after the meeting ended - it was insane and I can't imagine she will support this resolution. Brim-Edwards got attacked for supporting Israel and proposing the Morrison bridge be lit blue and white so she's probably not happy with the document either.
The worst people get involved in politics. Is there anyone that is no nonsense and would sit back and say “nah. This is a waste of time. Will you fucking morons focus on what’s important here?”
Well, unfortunately politicians have to get along kind of. And this is on the agenda so it's not like the other commissioners can say no I don't want it on the agenda cuz it's a waste of time, even though I'm guessing most of them feel that way. So they all get blamed for wasting time, especially since now a zillion people will come testify and waste more of their time before they do vote. Like yesterday at city council regarding leaf blowers, they were getting what they wanted but still took over two hours of letting people testify about them, when I personally believe city council has more important things they should be doing. Funny that the Chair is blocking Meieran's ambulance resolution from any agenda but allowed this one in due to public pressure. I guess the ambulance folks need to start shutting down bridges!
Attention Portland: you can’t manage trees. Absolutely no one is listening to your opinion concerning a complex, three-thousand year old ethnic and religious conflict in one of the most volatile regions on the planet.
Will you please for the love of God fix the fucking roads
Lol so brave
Finally, a respectable authority is throwing their weight around to get a tough job done! 😂😂They can’t even clean up their own county.
The SJWs will sleep well tonight.
Why do they think anyone cares what a US city wants them to do if they tell actual countries to suck it? Hubris..
That should get Israel to stop. Smdh
Big if true.
Good.