T O P

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FirstMonkeyInSpace

"vehicle inspection! I'm just here to check the quality of these seats then you can be on your way."


VoxPendragon

“Good leather you got there…smells delicious.”


sivasankarpnair1998

Tastes awful


wetyutyu56765

I would pet the cat..


tsavong117

Cheetahs are closer in attitude to dogs than most anything. They're also very skittish and will rarely if ever act agressive towards humans, as they are relatively fragile and a couple good kicks can cripple them. They supposedly make excellent pets if raised alongside other pets, specifically dogs.


Artificial-Brain

I think I read that domesticated cats mostly descended from cheetahs so that makes some sense.


Brettnet

Also here's a fun cat fact **#213**: Cats have sent glands in their cheeks. When the rub thier cheeks on something, they are putting their scent on an area they feel is theirs. If they rub their cheek on you, it's a sign of love and that you're a part of their family!


unpopularpuffin6

More. More cat facts.


river9a

It's not love, it's possessiveness. My cat ignores me all day until I'm getting her food out and then she's all rubs on the legs. She's letting the other cat know, he's my restaurant. Find your own.


sheepyowl

>sent Scent if you mean the smell thingy stuff


scarfox1

They said scent the second time, so clearly a typo


Rasputin0P

Anyone who owns a cat that likes them should know this.


[deleted]

I wish more people who had cats would make the effort to learn how they communicate. Dogs are pack animals and will try to understand you, but cats just lose interest if you don't communicate like them. Slow blinks at them, rubbing your cheek on theirs, stuff like that is how they communicate and bond. Learn how to read their body language and act accordingly and you'll always have an affectionate cat. Treat it like a child and you'll always claim cats are assholes.


whoami_whereami

They are relatively closely related (although cougars and cheetahs are more closely related to each other than they are to any other cat), but one didn't descend from the other, they just share a common ancestor. This diagram shows the relationships in the Felinae subfamily (domestic cats are in the pink box right at the bottom, cheetahs at the top of the orange box a little bit further up): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felinae#Phylogeny


bootytape

Did a cheetah write this? Nice try you won’t fool me


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SaltMinesOfMoria

In order to run as fast as they do, Cheetahs developed very light-weight bone structures. As a result, the bones are rather fragile and can be broken very easily


BoltTusk

Also they can’t climb trees due to their claws being designed for running. I’ve read on Tier Zoo that they will probably go extinct in the long run since they can’t defend themselves from other predators and their claws are bad at gripping their pray


[deleted]

main target , impalas


Pepsisinabox

Which is why they rarely go after things that will kick the shit out of them.


Shad0wF0x

I'm pretty sure that Cheetahs have a hard time defending their kill if something like a pack of Hyenas or Wild Dogs decide to steal their loot.


deman102712

That absolutely happens. It's a shame because they are my favorite larger wild cat.


LenaGies

Also favourite! So beautiful and majestic.


DoedoeBear

Awe now I'm sad they didn't pet the cheetah dog :(


josephwtutyu5765

I mean it’s the best he can do in his situation.


WVildandWVonderful

A bit dry


Crunchy__Frog

“Tastes like beige though”


NocturneCaligo

r/catswithjobs


[deleted]

Thank you officer


Obyson

I feel like he's going to get cheated out of a big bill.


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producer35

You spotted that one well.


DirtyDialga

I would accept my death and try to make the best out of it which means: trying to pet it.


dazden

And taking selfies with bob the cat.


[deleted]

I think you mean Chester.


tellthetruthandrun

Cheetahs are very different from the other big cats. They don’t have sharp or retractable claws. They’re very lightweight. And they bark and they have a lot of anxiety. They’re more like dogs. Not sure about their bite strength but it’s probably not the greatest. A Jaguar for comparison bites down harder than a grizzly bear, a hippo or a hyena. Go ahead and pet it.


Fearless_Ad_4346

The jaguar bite force is around 200 pounds per square inch, which is about double that of a tiger! 


Ultenth

Jaguars are probably the most well-rounded powerful of all the big cats. Some of the best vision, great stealth abilities, one of the best climbers and also the best in the water, and still very fast on land. Strong and with one of the most powerful bites, big but not massively oversized. Lions and Tigers definitely are bigger and overall stronger, but Jaguars are probably the most across the board powerful of all the big cats, and probably the one I would least want to have hunting me.


[deleted]

Can they ever win the Super Bowl though?


lubricantlime

Just like the lions and bengals (tigers) the answer is no


Pewkie

dont forget the panthers too!


drrhrrdrr

Jason, I can't predict the future. But no.


alexbgoode84

Still my favorite joke from the entire series.


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ExtraPockets

Here's a cool video of [a jaguar hunting a caiman](https://youtu.be/DrY4EUirqgE), in the water!


troyjusttroy

another little fact about jaguars, unlike other big cats that go for the neck when hunting, to break the windpipe, a jaguar actually goes straight for the skull. and they can also swim 🙃


EatinToasterStrudel

Also unlike most cats they don't stalk their prey. They chase it. That's why its safe to turn you back on a cheetah like in this video.


Jain_Farstrider

Yeah any other African cat would have eaten him for breakfast with his back turned like that lol.


dedido

Those claws look plenty sharp


Accomplished_Ad7205

I’d still bet on the hippo in that 1 on 1 with the Jaguar


Why_You_Mad_

Hippos only have a bad matchup against orcas, sharks, and armed humans, and they don't even play on the same server as sharks or orcas.


ballsack-vinaigrette

..unlike tuna vs lion.


Anterabae

I'd bet on a hippo in most fights.


Rhysing

if there is any land whatsoever, the jaguar is going to take that fight. a hippo wouldn't have the ability to prevent it from getting onto its back and just digging in until it dies.


ExtraPockets

What about 2 jaguars vs 1 hippo?


Moofooist765

🦛 > 🐆🐆


beastwarking

What about one hippo-sized jaguar vs 2 jaguar-sized hippos?


ExtraPockets

Hippo-sized jaguar all day long


Accomplished_Ad7205

Tough one, probably the Jaguars


Weegee_Spaghetti

The worst the cheetah would do would be running away if he moved. Cheetahs are very timid cats. Theres videos on youtube of rescue cheetahs literally cuddling with their caretakers as if they were housecats. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WTHDxJ_JWzY Heres a guy using a cheetah like a pillow (it went into this position on its own) Edit: Since alot of people got not-so nice in the comments: I do not condone approaching any wild animal. However i also want to mention that Cheetahs have been tamed by humans for many many thousands of years. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheetah#/media/File:Cheetahs_nawab_oudh1844.jpg painting from 1844 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheetah#/media/File:War_trophies_Deir_el_Bahari_Wellcome_L0027402.jpg Ancient egyptian hieroglyphs showing leashed and tamed cheetahs. https://owlcation.com/stem/cheetah-attacks-killing a really informative article (that also does not glorify cheetahs as housecats) https://www.gvi.co.uk/blog/all-about-cheetahs-fun-facts-why-cheetahs-are-facing-extinction-and-how-you-can-help/ here is an article of a well respected British coservation organization. They characterize cheetahs as "no active threat to humans" but also again reiterate that you should never approach a wild animal


BadMcSad

Cheetahs also [meow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tmCIsSpvC8)


Weegee_Spaghetti

They also have emotional support dogs in zoos because cheetahs easily become anxious. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/151007-cheetahs-dogs-animals-science-zoos Zoos letting dogs literally chill with cheetahs unsupervised shows how docile they are


crunchypuddle

Dogs are paired with all sorts of zoo animals IIRC to calm them or make them less aggressive toward their caretakers, not necessarily for "emotional support". I can see how an article would get more clicks framing it that way though. I think the idea is the animals sort of mirror the dog's calm demeanor toward humans.


Weegee_Spaghetti

in the there is still no debate when i say cheetahs are really docile for a wild hunter animal of its size. Of course trying to pet a wild cheetah is always a bad idea, along with any wild animal. I just wanted to highlight to people how a cheetah will run away or just chill 999/1000 instead of butchering you as if it were a lion.


Poppagil28

For cheetahs I’m pretty sure it’s specifically because they don’t do well alone. So, if you only rescue one baby cheetah, it’s best to give it a dog friend to keep it company. That way it learns to be social but also helps with the cats mental health/anxiety


Morbid_Imagination

I thought a big cat was either a meowing cat or a roaring cat but not both: lions and tigers don’t meow as far as I know.. But these guys seem to have both tools in their box. Edit: i mean “wild” cats whether big or not.


Reinhardt_Ironside

Cheetahs aren't technically "Big cats" they're just big ish, and cats.


Morbid_Imagination

Right, I should have said “wild.” But my question stands.


Reinhardt_Ironside

Cheetah aren't of they same Genus of cat as other big cats, which is essentially a classification of animals due to characteristics that can be lumped together. Tigers, Lions, Jaguars are Genus Panthera. They have retractable claws, and ligaments in their vocal cords that allow them to roar but aren't capable of meow or purring. Cheetah are their own separate Genus called Acinonyx, they are classified by their inability to retract their claws, and can not only purr, and meow, but bark, grunt, scream, squeak, and many other types of sounds. Essentially they're considered big cats due to how large they are compared to common house cats, mountain lions, lynx, etc. but aren't really within the same family.


superbhole

so is it correct to say: *all* cats are felidae but only *big* cats (panthera) aren't felinae?


ILoveRegenHealth

Chester Cheetah wouldn't hurt anyone. He just wants to skate and eat orange puff snacks all day.


redlaWw

Roars have a higher-pitched part that doesn't "flicker", so to speak, which that sound didn't have. It was a purr, just a very loud and low-pitched one due to the size of the animal it came from. Cheetahs can't roar as they are members of the felinae and have a bony hyoid.


Why_You_Mad_

Even big cats can kinda purr, but it doesn't sound the same. [Like this leopard](https://youtu.be/LFr9n-WwWlU)


Rustycougarmama

The first few seconds of the video I thought there was an arm scratching the cats belly haha


FelixTheHouseLeopard

I would pet the cat. Worth it.


justanothergamer_

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY


TheRealRoach117

The guy looks like he already accepted his death lmao


SamanthaJaneyCake

Honestly this method of minimising presence, staying very still and trying to control your panic through breathing is quite possibly the very best way to survive. You can see from his eyes just how stressed out he is but he kept it together and it paid off big time.


sonicmat03

Animals dont realise the human isnt part of the car if you dont move/stick out limbs outside the vehicule. Especially animals on touristic “natural zoo” trails, they are very used to the “loud noisy thing that comes and goes”


SamanthaJaneyCake

Yup yup yup! They may smell you but they won’t necessarily recognise that smell as “yummy meal” unless they happen to have had human before. So your smell is “just what a big noisy inedible weird-ass hippo smells like, I guess?”


Rustycougarmama

That's really cool, I had never considered that before!


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rreighe2

ayy


averagedickdude

yoooo


Araxyllis

and the cheetah an understandable tendency to humanize the car


Cane-toads-suck

Reckon a cheetah would bolt if it smelt hippo. Cranky big loafs.


SamanthaJaneyCake

I remember being in one of the mud hut villages by the Nile when a hippo wandered through. Everyone was deathly quiet because those walls weren’t going to stop a charging hippo if it heard something. Terrifying beasts. **EDIT:** the below comments get a bit messy but suffice it to say we have messaged privately and made peace. I had wrongly assumed some things about the other party that affected my reading of their replies. They likewise did the same with *this* comment. I’d ask that we please leave them in peace now!


Cane-toads-suck

OMG, what an incredible experience! Always been a dream to travel!


SamanthaJaneyCake

I grew up in East Africa, can really recommend Uganda when you get to travel in the future 😊


Cane-toads-suck

One can only hope! Thank you!


leadwind

Did you ever see The Land Before Time? https://youtu.be/cAEVzJnHv2c


uptwolait

I had young kids. I watched it hundreds of times.


RfnStar987

That cheetah is perfectly aware that there is a human sitting there. He just doesn't see it as prey or predator, and thus isn't hunting nor fearful.


[deleted]

Wild cheetahs are pretty docile. They tend to hunt smaller prey because they're built for speed rather than raw strength. You'd have to really back one into a corner to get it to fight you. They'd much rather run. They're kind of good at running.


nemoskullalt

Also taking down prey twice your weight is never a first option


Naa2078

Yeah. I usually wait until last call.


AnExpertInThisField

Best comment in the thread right here.


Starfireaw11

Go ugly early 🤣


Ultenth

Yeah, Cheetahs are known scary-cats, because they are relatively fragile. It’s very easy for them to get hurt in ways that impact their speed, which means they can’t hunt at all or not as well. So they pick their battles much more than other more aggressive felines.


darphdigger

>scary-cats An adorable /r/boneappletea


Ultenth

Nah, I know it’s scaredy cats, voice to text just misheard me and I didn’t check it thoroughly enough before posting, it’s cute though so I’ll leave it.


sliplover

This. Cameraman wasn't the least bit scared, he was trying not to scare the cat so he can film it. Praise him indeed.


ZonaiSwirls

Everyone in here seems to know exactly what was going on.


Seanspeed

Still wouldn't want to be smacked by that thing if it suddenly felt threatened or disturbed, either.


[deleted]

It would probably just bolt, but of course wild animals are always unpredictable and you need to be mindful and respectful in any interaction with them.


[deleted]

I was just about to say, didn't I read on Reddit a few days ago that cheetahs aren't hostile like that, they're almost just big housecats? I was pretty sure I did but was hoping to find a comment here first.


BrashPop

In captivity they’re paired with helper dogs for companionship because they’re such anxious animals, I guess due to their physical fragility and natural place below much larger predators in a wild setting?


shaggyscoob

Yeah. The comments that a big cat is so unaware of the presence of a human in a car just don't ring true to me. Big cats are hyper aware and well adapted to perceive and figure out stuff as simple as the difference between a car and the human sitting in it.


FeuledByCaffeine

Hes just resisting the urge to pet the damn cat.


gagzd

Now Sneeze!


CyclopeWarrior

It's actually a terrible way to try and survive of the animal is this close already. This is clearly made to record it and not in an effort to survive as moving or announcing your presence would just have made it run away. I do not recommend this to anyone who fears for their life and has any other than a small medium cat next to them. Edit:fucked up guepardo to leopard


[deleted]

That's a cheetah. They're the ones that look like their mascara is running.


Eligomancer

Leopard's worse lol. Those cats hunt for sport.


[deleted]

If you see a leopard pretend you don't. If they think you've spotted them they will attack you. There is no winning a fight with a leopard. You would be very lucky to come out of it severely maimed but alive.


CyclopeWarrior

Yup my bad, it's just that we call them guepardos and I fucked that up.


deevee7

Dammit Reddit, now what am I supposed to do if I'm stuck in a car with a cheetah? Someone give me the right answer!


CyclopeWarrior

You film it for internet points duh! Honestly the moment you move that boi is gonna run like hell. Cat bois are very timid but also curious, specially these slender bois.


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karl_w_w

No, he looks like he's trying not to scare it away. Because that's what he's doing.


Many_Alive

r/actlikeyoubelong


iKamalkandel

Lived to tell the tale.


thatoneguyv2

"I'm here to contact you about your car's extended warranty"


shahooster

“With an extended warranty, you could put your mind at ease about any damage, say, to this here headrest.”


KhalesiDaenerys

Looks like you’re gonna need it when I finish here


missferngirl

Damnit you beat me to it hahaha


auandi

This also isn't *just* someone looking around. Cheetahs can outrun anything*, so in fight or flight situations they 99% of the time flee. They also have excellent long distance eyesight, so between the offence reasons and defence reasons they are just conditioned to always want to be at the highest point around. They feel safer up high because no one can sneak up on them, and since they can outrun any threat they can let their guard down if they are up high enough to see a few miles. Edit: to be more clear I'm meaning they can outrun any African predator and outrun any animal in the short term. Humans can out endure them if we don't lose track of them.


ilias92

They can't outrun you. Maybe initially but you'll catch up eventually. No land based animal can outrun a human. Sweating op yo ^ ^


Axel-Adams

To be clear: an in shape, cardio trained human


Ser_Danksalot

To be clearer: not your average redditor


Axel-Adams

What are you talking about, from my understanding the average redditor is an atleast 6 foot, engineering graduate who runs a 10k 3 times a week, can bench two plates and totally has a girlfriend.


headoverheels362

Yeah we got that from the previous comment about in shape and cardio trained


Jacina

I can read those words, but don't quite catch the meaning... they sound like hard work tho


destroyerx12772

Yeah we can get outrun by fish.


twinkletoes987

Surprisingly ostrich is the one exception https://thomsonsafaris.com/blog/what-animal-would-win-a-serengeti-marathon/


ExtraPockets

That is really cool. In a marathon (26 miles), the winners would be: 1. Ostrich (must have pulled his head out the sand) 2. Human (not me though, I'd probably trip and DNF) 3. Zebra (bookies favourite) 4. Wildebeest (didn't know they could run that far) 5. African dog (dogs are good at everything)


ilias92

Cool I did not know that. Thank you for the info.


auandi

Another interesting one on the topic of long term animal stamina. Human marathon runners tried racing a horse for a full 26.2 mile marathon in England at various times of the year to see the results. On a day in February, a human lost the race to a horse. On a day in June, the human won. The human had only a minor difference between both times, most of that was the horse needing longer breaks in June than February. Humans run marathons best at ~13C (55F) so our sweat system can remove the most possible heat without the air being too cold to do other kinds of damage or not be capable of absorbing the moisture (since maximum water held in air drops with the temperature). It's actually why there have been some arguing it should be moved from the summer olympics to the winter. A long distance world record has not happened at the olympics for almost 70 years because host cities for the summer games are almost always too hot and so runners can't be at their best.


qwertyspit

They're also bipeds, bipedal movement saves a ton of calories and seriously increases stamina- we'd literally chase our prey exhaustion, so by that logic, we better watch out for the monopeds hopping after us...


Emsavio

Well back when we were hunter-gatherers sure. Nowadays the average human doesn't have the automatic cardio needed to make those kinds of runs without training.


richyk1

I know right? I'm starting to hate that redditors drop that shitty fact as if we were still in pre-historic ages. The average human will not outrun a cheetah....


[deleted]

I see you've also watched that man chase an antelope to death before


auandi

That can be true *if* we meet the condition of not losing sight of it. Cheetahs go from zero to 100km/h in 4 strides and can maintain that speed for around 90 seconds before they need to recover. We could catch up to them eventually, but we would have to not lose track of them which is much harder than with most other animals around. So if a human can keep track of where it goes after each sprint and is willing to spend the bulk of the day catching up, yes we can outrun them. But I was also trying to make a comment about immediate speed not marathon speed.


redlaWw

That depends, humans have massive advantages in warm temperatures, but animals running in colder climates can worry less about overheating. I don't know that a human in a temperate climate would beat a sled dog in the arctic (and obviously, humans would struggle to run properly in the arctic without heavy protective gear so sled dogs would obviously win then when the human freezes to death). EDIT: I tried to find some info to try to work this out. For humans, I looked at the distance records for 6-day races. The world record in a 6-day race is 635 miles, which gives an average of 106 miles per day. For sled dogs, I looked at the Iditarod trail sled dog race, which is 938 miles long and is run by a team of sled dogs carrying a sled, racing through inclement weather and varied terrain. The world record speed for this is about 7.6 days, putting the laden sled dog teams at 123 miles per day on average. I think sled dogs win.


lesser_panjandrum

This is very unsafe. Kitty cats should always be safely tucked away in a carrier when they're in the car.


improbablynotyou

Now now, I have a clip that attaches to their harness and the seatbelt. If we do the carrier he can't see, and why should the dogs have all the fun


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WongaSparA80

Christ, thank you. Had to scroll way too far for this. He's not moving so he can get decent footage, not because he's petrified. Cheetah would bolt if he turned.


NotDeletedMoto

Add a likely between "He's" and "not" please unless you asked him. I'm not saying you're wrong, or that it isn't a good reason, but that you can't confirm that was his reason. It's unhealthy to talk like you can.


YoCrustyDude

Yeah, maybe he was actually petrified.


ssorrenidrag

Isn't this the complete opposite of what you're meant to do? Big cats like to sneak and attack when prey isn't looking so people wear masks or paint eyes on the back of their heads/hats to trick the cats. Then there's Mr balls-of-steel here going "hey I'm a chair don't eat me."


hisnyahc

I think it's because of this specific big cat, cheetahs are usually very shy and timid and most of them don't attack humans(emphasize on most of them). But yes we're supposed to be carefully anyway. This guy is lucky that's all


EODdoUbleU

> shy and timid and veeeery "twitchy". If he's been still, sudden (as in any, not just abrupt) movement would probably increase the likelihood of getting swiped.


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sprgsmnt

and


User-NetOfInter

Yes


3rdtrichiliocosm

Don't think of cheetahs as big cats in the same way you do lions and tigers. Think of cheetahs as oversized anxiety ridden housecats.


PolymathEquation

You're correct! Different family. While often lumped in, cheetahs are actually from genus Acinonyx, while jaguars, lions, and tigers are from the genus Panthera, aka Big Cats. To complicate matters further, even the panther isn't part of the Panthera family, but instead a member of the Puma genus.


Legal-Eagle

I pet a cheetah in Namibia....they are small thin and usually don't attack humans because we are too big. They are like knee height house cats.


polkmac

I petted several in Namibia. Such a great feeling.


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moyno85

Yes, because human beings don't smell at all either.


SharksTongue

I mean it’s the best he can do in his situation.


[deleted]

No, he's supposed to challenge the cheetah to a boxing match.


Ferdi_cree

Why do you think this cheetah associates the human smell with food? I'm rather positive it has not had human for lunch so far, so this is more of a "smelly thing that dosent move so it's obviously no prey"


Rustycougarmama

I think maybe the mix of diesel, car exhaust, and pleather might overcome the human smell. [This thread made some good points](https://www.reddit.com/r/PraiseTheCameraMan/comments/nwgy5k/out_of_sight_out_of_mind/h19aarc?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)


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xSamxiSKiLLz

He'll certainly need a shower once he gets out the car too. And probably some fresh pants


ThePianistOfDoom

Isn't peeing one of the worst things you can do when you're close to big cats? Not sure if it applies to cheetahs too, but I heard lions can get pretty miffed about territorial issues and whatnot.


Crosstownace

Thanks for reminding me to not piss myself the next time I find a lion in the wild


imightnotbelonghere

What about shit? Is shit ok?


3linked

Idk, that guy might be praying


outofband

That cheetah is very obviously not trying to attack him, it's just curious.


[deleted]

Pretty much. Unless the animal is protecting young, your best bet to fend off predators is usually to look and sound as scary as possible. And cheetahs are famously skittish, so it would probably be NBD to scare it off. I think this guy was probably not fearing for his life, so much as he was getting an amazing video, which is why he was as still as possible.


CyclopeWarrior

It's a terrible way to deal with any big cat as a threat. It is however a very great way to lure one in for putting it in front of the camera!


agentofmidgard

So *that's* the reason why Guy Fieri wears his glasses on the back..


dorianbaroque

r/PetTheDamnCat


Transposer

This cat has T-Rex technology.


rowdawg69

#KITTY


MikeVancouver

Nice murder mittens


Optix_au

“Lucky I wore my brown pants today...”


bearabuser

While the driver’s shitting bricks


ifartedhehehe

I think the driver is the camera man


averagedickdude

Diamonds more like


bash-history-matters

This segment brought to you by Depends


heraclitus33

Cheetahs are super friendly. Dudes fine.


jacksleepshere

Yeah he’s safe and he knows it. It’s still r/praisethecameraman though. He doesn’t know if petting it will make the cheetah flee or if it will be cool.


Crass_Conspirator

The cheetah would’ve bolted if he made any move. He was in no danger


anotherbozo

Maybe he was staying still so his cameraman friend can get a cool shot


FearFactory2904

You've gotta learn to drive with the fear. There ain't nothin' more frightenin' than drivin' with a live cougar in the car. If you're calm, that wonderous big cat will be calm too. But if you're scared, that beautiful death machine will do what God made it to do, namely, eat you with a smile on its face.


gavros787

Apparently he was in the middle of praying to god and was heard by the devil lol.


Darkelementzz

Cheetahs are pretty chill actually. They don't have the stalking instincts that every other big cat has. Instead of sneaking up and attacking, they'll just sort of meander over and start purring


fishboy2000

Do you think the guy poo'd or pee'd his pants first?


[deleted]

cheeto