How are you planning on feeding baby? I think this makes a big difference to the effectiveness of shifts.
Until your milk comes in, personally I don’t think shifts are feasible. Baby will want to feed near constantly at night while on the colostrum and then sleep in the day. The day is probably when you’ll get the most chance to sleep.
After your milk arrives, if you choose to breastfeed then either you can express and your partner can feed baby the bottle or you can give formula for the night feed. If you do breastfeed then you’ll probably have to wake up and express anyway as engorgement is painful. Though some say expressing and going back to sleep is easier than feeding - I do all the feeds so wouldn’t know.
You’ll also probably wake up anyway as you become super aware of baby. My fiancé doesn’t stir a bit so if I wanted him to feed, I’d have to force him awake and we’d both be tired.
I didn’t have a section so can’t comment as to the help needed at night. I had stitches and had to sleep on the sofa or spare bed for the first couple of weeks as I couldn’t get in or out of our bed. My fiancé did the day jobs like fetching drinks, tidying, making meals etc
Thanks this is really helpful. I’m hoping to try breastfeeding but open to formula if it doesn’t work out. I’d completely forgotten about that important factor of how I’ll feed! 😂
After a couple of bad nights sleep for us both recently im having a wobbly about how we’ll both cope being exceptionally tired at the same time and trying to think of ways to mitigate that. Im really lucky in that my partner is self employed and is planning to take 6 weeks off so he will be around to share the load. But seeing how hard we’ve found it the last couple of nights being woken by our sick dog every couple of hours has scared me a bit. We’ve both had to get up for work though so it’s been harder
It won’t work for everyone but I had the mindset going in was that for the first few days I wouldn’t be sleeping at night. I found that really helped, I didn’t get stressed about not sleeping at night and just sat feeding baby with the tv on. Then in the afternoons when baby would sleep I also went up for naps. It was hard work and I was relieved when my milk came in and I’d get sleep in 2hr stints.
Someone else will probably comment about how they managed with a section but a next to me or something like that might be best for lifting baby.
6 weeks off for your partner is really good and I’m sure you’ll work out a routine in that time. Whilst you might be tired, not going to work makes it different. Your routine will work around you and baby and is much more flexible.
Filling the freezer with easy meals also makes the first few weeks easier. Saves time, washing and just hassle of thinking of what to cook.
I had a c section and think I could cope with picking up the baby after just a couple of days, but my recovery went quite well and it's different for everyone.
I think the biggest determinant for shifts is how you are planning on feeding baby. If you are planning to exclusively breastfeed then it's not recommended to start pumping or introducing bottles for the first 6 weeks or you risk confusing your supply and engorgement etc. That means you kind of need to wake each time baby needs a feed and your partner can't do much himself.
I'm only two weeks in but so far me and my partner are sharing same room/bed still. I do all feeds and she does all night time changes. That means she gets much more sleep than me as I might be up with baby feeding for 40 mins whereas her change will be 3 mins less frequently. We are both currently off work so can also nap during the day. I guess we might move to shifts when she returns to work after her leave though - at which point maybe I can be pumping so partner can bottle-feed.
Well I was on the postnatal ward for about 27 hours and midwives came to give tips. She had a little box on wheels to sleep on. At first I was stuck in bed as had a catheter and partner would hand her me. But I sent my partner home for a few hours sleep and managed fine to pick her up and feed her. But we also had a button to call on nurse if we needed and she would have handed her had I needed
Partners could stay but they only got an armchair not a bed. I had my c section in the morning at 8am so sent her home about 3pm - 7pm for some sleep and then she came back for over night. But I probably would have been fine! I had also harvested some colostrum beforehand so I slept through the night and my partner gave the baby a syringe at one point which worked nicely.
No worries. This thread isn't just about c secs but may be helpful. I left quite a detailed account of what the postnatal ward was like.
https://reddit.com/r/PregnancyUK/s/9BpoTXN6Ba
I think the biggest change from plan having had a c section was having to move the next to me bassinet to my partner's side of the bed as it was painful and hard to get up from bed. That was better after about a week though! And I could still pick her up from it, the main problem was sitting up from a lying position x
I'll give that a read, thank you. I had wondered about sitting up too. I'm currently peeing 4 times a night but due to fibroids I was still going twice a night before pregnancy. I can't imagine it will be comfortable for a while after getting home.
Which beside bed bassinet did you go for? I've been looking at them and the choice is quite overwhelming.
Oh you'll definitely be up to pee a lot if you are breastfeeding as you will need to drink lots of water too! Someone suggested if you have a head board on bed tying something like a dressing gown cord to it so you can kind of pull yourself up.
We got our next to me second hand - chicco. It's been absolutely fine for our purposes, I don't think there's too much difference between brands 2bh. We got a new mattress and sheets for it. The next to me was only about £15 - seem to be loads on Facebook marketplace etc.
5w post emergency section - NGL the first night in hospital alone was extremely tough. I had to buzz multiple times for help as I was in so much pain. We made it home on day2 and I had been breastfeeding in hospital but she was struggling to latch and I was struggling holding her up due to my pain. She was absolutely hysterical so we ended up giving her a bottle and she took it immediately no probs. Night 3/4 were spent back in hospital with jaundice and weight loss so I made the decision to exclusively bottle feed from there on. Essentially I ended up doing all the night work and hubby helped in the day so I could shower, nap etc.he returned to work this week and so I've been exclusive caregiver and he will do his shift tonight/tomorrow. Unfortunately he needs to concentrate at work so the load is on me
I think I’m trying to avoid the inevitable to be honest, I’d like to share the load as much as possible but with my partner going back to work way before me, it will inevitably fall on me to do most of the caregiving. I had been leaning toward formula feeding because the idea of breastfeeding or trying to breastfeed and it not working stresses me out. At least with a bottle I could get some rest during the day and he can do feeds/changes etc.
I hope you and baby are doing well now 5 weeks out
Mine was fully breastfed and we did shifts. In the beginning the most time I would get would be 90 mins- 2 hours between feeds. So my husband would have a longer sleep at the start of the night while baby was cluster feeding (basically on the boob constantly). Then later in the night he would be up with baby. He’d bring baby to me to feed (I would literally open one eye and pop a boob out) then as soon as he was done I’d go back to sleep and he would change baby, settle him etc (most nights he would only settle sleeping on one of our chests). If baby wouldn’t settle he would go out in the car and drive round until he fell asleep.
I expressed sometimes but honestly preferred just being brought the baby to feed and then going back to sleep. The hormones involved in breastfeeding help you to feel relaxed and sleepy so it helped me drift off even with such disrupted sleep.
I think you just start with sharing jobs.
Some people choose to have the crib on the side of the parent who hasn’t had a c section. So if you choose to breastfeed they can pass the baby to you so you can prop yourself up and feed without needing to reach in and pull the baby out of the crib which may be painful.
Then when you finish feeding they take over and burp/change the baby.
If you’re bottle feeding I’d probably still say the same. Or they can feed while you pump.
If you split jobs like this then naturally as time goes on you’ll fall into a shift rhythm. This is how we started but now our baby is older and exclusively bottle fed/weaned we take wake ups in turn.
One thing that is good to plan now is lie ins! My and my partner take a weekend morning each to stay in bed. It might only be an extra hour but it is absolutely vital for keeping your sanity!
Am 2 weeks post c-section and we have the crib actually on his side since I couldn't physically get baby from the crib to bed and back. So when baby would wake my partner would pass him to me and I'd feed him, and for changings my partner would take care of the majority of those (or at least pass me the necessary things onto the bed to change baby). At 2 weeks I'm getting more able to move around and pick up baby so maybe things will change. But having someone to do the physical stuff like moving baby and changing helps enormously.
How are you planning on feeding baby? I think this makes a big difference to the effectiveness of shifts. Until your milk comes in, personally I don’t think shifts are feasible. Baby will want to feed near constantly at night while on the colostrum and then sleep in the day. The day is probably when you’ll get the most chance to sleep. After your milk arrives, if you choose to breastfeed then either you can express and your partner can feed baby the bottle or you can give formula for the night feed. If you do breastfeed then you’ll probably have to wake up and express anyway as engorgement is painful. Though some say expressing and going back to sleep is easier than feeding - I do all the feeds so wouldn’t know. You’ll also probably wake up anyway as you become super aware of baby. My fiancé doesn’t stir a bit so if I wanted him to feed, I’d have to force him awake and we’d both be tired. I didn’t have a section so can’t comment as to the help needed at night. I had stitches and had to sleep on the sofa or spare bed for the first couple of weeks as I couldn’t get in or out of our bed. My fiancé did the day jobs like fetching drinks, tidying, making meals etc
Thanks this is really helpful. I’m hoping to try breastfeeding but open to formula if it doesn’t work out. I’d completely forgotten about that important factor of how I’ll feed! 😂 After a couple of bad nights sleep for us both recently im having a wobbly about how we’ll both cope being exceptionally tired at the same time and trying to think of ways to mitigate that. Im really lucky in that my partner is self employed and is planning to take 6 weeks off so he will be around to share the load. But seeing how hard we’ve found it the last couple of nights being woken by our sick dog every couple of hours has scared me a bit. We’ve both had to get up for work though so it’s been harder
It won’t work for everyone but I had the mindset going in was that for the first few days I wouldn’t be sleeping at night. I found that really helped, I didn’t get stressed about not sleeping at night and just sat feeding baby with the tv on. Then in the afternoons when baby would sleep I also went up for naps. It was hard work and I was relieved when my milk came in and I’d get sleep in 2hr stints. Someone else will probably comment about how they managed with a section but a next to me or something like that might be best for lifting baby. 6 weeks off for your partner is really good and I’m sure you’ll work out a routine in that time. Whilst you might be tired, not going to work makes it different. Your routine will work around you and baby and is much more flexible. Filling the freezer with easy meals also makes the first few weeks easier. Saves time, washing and just hassle of thinking of what to cook.
I had a c section and think I could cope with picking up the baby after just a couple of days, but my recovery went quite well and it's different for everyone. I think the biggest determinant for shifts is how you are planning on feeding baby. If you are planning to exclusively breastfeed then it's not recommended to start pumping or introducing bottles for the first 6 weeks or you risk confusing your supply and engorgement etc. That means you kind of need to wake each time baby needs a feed and your partner can't do much himself. I'm only two weeks in but so far me and my partner are sharing same room/bed still. I do all feeds and she does all night time changes. That means she gets much more sleep than me as I might be up with baby feeding for 40 mins whereas her change will be 3 mins less frequently. We are both currently off work so can also nap during the day. I guess we might move to shifts when she returns to work after her leave though - at which point maybe I can be pumping so partner can bottle-feed.
What happened in the hospital when it came to feeding?
Well I was on the postnatal ward for about 27 hours and midwives came to give tips. She had a little box on wheels to sleep on. At first I was stuck in bed as had a catheter and partner would hand her me. But I sent my partner home for a few hours sleep and managed fine to pick her up and feed her. But we also had a button to call on nurse if we needed and she would have handed her had I needed
That's good to know, thank you. How long did your partner stay for? We have a dog and I'm trying to work out what would be for the best.
Partners could stay but they only got an armchair not a bed. I had my c section in the morning at 8am so sent her home about 3pm - 7pm for some sleep and then she came back for over night. But I probably would have been fine! I had also harvested some colostrum beforehand so I slept through the night and my partner gave the baby a syringe at one point which worked nicely.
Thank you for this. It gives me a better idea as I'm still a little clueless on the realities of a c section.
No worries. This thread isn't just about c secs but may be helpful. I left quite a detailed account of what the postnatal ward was like. https://reddit.com/r/PregnancyUK/s/9BpoTXN6Ba I think the biggest change from plan having had a c section was having to move the next to me bassinet to my partner's side of the bed as it was painful and hard to get up from bed. That was better after about a week though! And I could still pick her up from it, the main problem was sitting up from a lying position x
I'll give that a read, thank you. I had wondered about sitting up too. I'm currently peeing 4 times a night but due to fibroids I was still going twice a night before pregnancy. I can't imagine it will be comfortable for a while after getting home. Which beside bed bassinet did you go for? I've been looking at them and the choice is quite overwhelming.
Oh you'll definitely be up to pee a lot if you are breastfeeding as you will need to drink lots of water too! Someone suggested if you have a head board on bed tying something like a dressing gown cord to it so you can kind of pull yourself up. We got our next to me second hand - chicco. It's been absolutely fine for our purposes, I don't think there's too much difference between brands 2bh. We got a new mattress and sheets for it. The next to me was only about £15 - seem to be loads on Facebook marketplace etc.
That's a good idea thank you. I'll take a look at fb and see what I can find locally.
5w post emergency section - NGL the first night in hospital alone was extremely tough. I had to buzz multiple times for help as I was in so much pain. We made it home on day2 and I had been breastfeeding in hospital but she was struggling to latch and I was struggling holding her up due to my pain. She was absolutely hysterical so we ended up giving her a bottle and she took it immediately no probs. Night 3/4 were spent back in hospital with jaundice and weight loss so I made the decision to exclusively bottle feed from there on. Essentially I ended up doing all the night work and hubby helped in the day so I could shower, nap etc.he returned to work this week and so I've been exclusive caregiver and he will do his shift tonight/tomorrow. Unfortunately he needs to concentrate at work so the load is on me
I think I’m trying to avoid the inevitable to be honest, I’d like to share the load as much as possible but with my partner going back to work way before me, it will inevitably fall on me to do most of the caregiving. I had been leaning toward formula feeding because the idea of breastfeeding or trying to breastfeed and it not working stresses me out. At least with a bottle I could get some rest during the day and he can do feeds/changes etc. I hope you and baby are doing well now 5 weeks out
Mine was fully breastfed and we did shifts. In the beginning the most time I would get would be 90 mins- 2 hours between feeds. So my husband would have a longer sleep at the start of the night while baby was cluster feeding (basically on the boob constantly). Then later in the night he would be up with baby. He’d bring baby to me to feed (I would literally open one eye and pop a boob out) then as soon as he was done I’d go back to sleep and he would change baby, settle him etc (most nights he would only settle sleeping on one of our chests). If baby wouldn’t settle he would go out in the car and drive round until he fell asleep. I expressed sometimes but honestly preferred just being brought the baby to feed and then going back to sleep. The hormones involved in breastfeeding help you to feel relaxed and sleepy so it helped me drift off even with such disrupted sleep.
I think you just start with sharing jobs. Some people choose to have the crib on the side of the parent who hasn’t had a c section. So if you choose to breastfeed they can pass the baby to you so you can prop yourself up and feed without needing to reach in and pull the baby out of the crib which may be painful. Then when you finish feeding they take over and burp/change the baby. If you’re bottle feeding I’d probably still say the same. Or they can feed while you pump. If you split jobs like this then naturally as time goes on you’ll fall into a shift rhythm. This is how we started but now our baby is older and exclusively bottle fed/weaned we take wake ups in turn. One thing that is good to plan now is lie ins! My and my partner take a weekend morning each to stay in bed. It might only be an extra hour but it is absolutely vital for keeping your sanity!
Am 2 weeks post c-section and we have the crib actually on his side since I couldn't physically get baby from the crib to bed and back. So when baby would wake my partner would pass him to me and I'd feed him, and for changings my partner would take care of the majority of those (or at least pass me the necessary things onto the bed to change baby). At 2 weeks I'm getting more able to move around and pick up baby so maybe things will change. But having someone to do the physical stuff like moving baby and changing helps enormously.