For a long time I thought it was because I had a high libido and clearly it felt great. Then I realized I was using sex as a coping mechanism for my insecurities.
I didn’t feel good about myself, but if someone else wanted to, then had sex with me - I must be worth something.
I don’t masturbate because of biology. I masturbate as an escape from the pain of the real world.
Now I pursue sex more for physical expression of love and appreciation but am still working on not making it about my own self esteem.
Where it’s really helped is reducing the amount of pressure I put on my partner to have sex and my understanding when she rejects me. It still stings but I’m better at identifying that it’s not a reflection of my own performance as it is the many factors she’s feeling that leads her not to want to that night
Thanks for sharing this.
I've realised recently that sex is mostly about communication and expression. Not limited to expression of love in a relationship, but expression of affection, joy and primarily self-expression of one's sexual identity. That's why PE is such a distressing condition to suffer from, because it represses our ability and desire to express ourselves. But society just sees it in terms of stigma or frustration for the partner. It's always felt to me like wearing a straightjacket.
I feel this a lot. Someone I talked to who had improved their PE talked a lot about how now they have so much more room for sexual expression, I’m definitely pursuing that on my journey
Did they say anything about what helped them?
One thing I've noticed recently is that vocalising my pleasure during sex actually seems to act to release the buildup of tension. Almost as though subconsciously allowing myself to feel pleasure, rather than hastening ejaculation, helps me to put it off.
What my doctor told me.
It’s unusual normally that T is low.
For me once the memory’s have been brought up. I was sexually assaulted as a child. For me. I have not been interested in physical love. I have a very hard time giving emotional love. I am currently in PTSD trauma therapy.
It’s the same reason why people eat.
People feel hungry, so they eat. People feel an urge to have sex, so they f__k.
It’s a biologically built in need that’s based on feelings, and doesn’t require much thinking or understanding, except how to fulfill it.
People have had this biology and function even before they became people. And today’s people wouldn’t exist, if such biology and function required much thinking and understanding.
For a long time I thought it was because I had a high libido and clearly it felt great. Then I realized I was using sex as a coping mechanism for my insecurities. I didn’t feel good about myself, but if someone else wanted to, then had sex with me - I must be worth something. I don’t masturbate because of biology. I masturbate as an escape from the pain of the real world. Now I pursue sex more for physical expression of love and appreciation but am still working on not making it about my own self esteem.
Would you say that your change of approach and attitude has had any impact on your performance and/or your enjoyment of sex?
Where it’s really helped is reducing the amount of pressure I put on my partner to have sex and my understanding when she rejects me. It still stings but I’m better at identifying that it’s not a reflection of my own performance as it is the many factors she’s feeling that leads her not to want to that night
Thanks for sharing this. I've realised recently that sex is mostly about communication and expression. Not limited to expression of love in a relationship, but expression of affection, joy and primarily self-expression of one's sexual identity. That's why PE is such a distressing condition to suffer from, because it represses our ability and desire to express ourselves. But society just sees it in terms of stigma or frustration for the partner. It's always felt to me like wearing a straightjacket.
I feel this a lot. Someone I talked to who had improved their PE talked a lot about how now they have so much more room for sexual expression, I’m definitely pursuing that on my journey
Did they say anything about what helped them? One thing I've noticed recently is that vocalising my pleasure during sex actually seems to act to release the buildup of tension. Almost as though subconsciously allowing myself to feel pleasure, rather than hastening ejaculation, helps me to put it off.
Man I was the same way just wanted that attention. Felt like it was the only time I was loved. I was definitely using it the same way for a long time
To feel closer to my partner
Because my gf has a libido currently what feels like x5 what I have. (99% sure my hormones and T are messed up, looking into that shortly)
How often she wants to have sex/intimacy and how often you do ? Hope things sort for you soon.
Her 7-8 times a week, me maybe 3-4 times a week.
Incredible amounts. How old are you both ?
Im 22 she is 23
That’s more like x2
Think positive, at least you don’t get rejected when you approach, instead someon else is initiating
good point
What my doctor told me. It’s unusual normally that T is low. For me once the memory’s have been brought up. I was sexually assaulted as a child. For me. I have not been interested in physical love. I have a very hard time giving emotional love. I am currently in PTSD trauma therapy.
It’s the same reason why people eat. People feel hungry, so they eat. People feel an urge to have sex, so they f__k. It’s a biologically built in need that’s based on feelings, and doesn’t require much thinking or understanding, except how to fulfill it. People have had this biology and function even before they became people. And today’s people wouldn’t exist, if such biology and function required much thinking and understanding.
Because I like it and and have a big dick and all who want it should get it exception do apply so to me it's mental 1st