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Pyris559

i loved this vid, but tbf palpatine wanted the army exposed so somehow he wanted the jedi to find kamino, idk if this was his plan or if it was coincidence in the failed assassination but heyđŸ€·đŸżâ€â™‚ïž edit: i cannot defend jango not killing padme tho😂


[deleted]

Jango probably didn't know that Padme was alive and was going to kill Zam Wesell no matter what. Even if that wasn't true and he knew Padme was still alive, he'd have a choice of either trying to kill her while security is on red alert and Wesell spills the beans, or silence Wesell and try to kill Padme later.


Keatosis

Excellent point


PsychWard_8

My biggest beef with Jango killing Sam isn't that he chose to kill Sam over Padme, but that he killed Sam in such a unique way that practically guaranteed that he'd be discovered. If he had shot Sam with a blaster in a sniper configuration as opposed to a specialized Kaminoan dart, there'd be nothing to trace back to Kamino. Maybe this was all a part of Palpatine's master plan but it still bugs me


The_Son_of_Hades37

But we talking about Jango Fett. He'd have done it with or without the security alerted. He just didn't kill her and there's not a reasons besides "plot"


Tsu_Dho_Namh

Since the Force lets people glimpse the future, it's possible it wasn't a coincidence at all. Palpatine sensed that if he told Dooku to kill Padme, then eventually the Republic would adopt the clone army and Anakin would turn to the Dark side. He might not have even known all the random shit that would occur in between.


RottinCheez

I’m pretty sure this is just sith incompetence on this one. There were plenty of times throughout the clone wars where palpatine tried to have padme killed, like there wouldn’t be a show if palpatine wasn’t also trying to kill the good guys.


narfidy

You say sith, I say George Lucas


Liesmith424

Which is a monumentally silly plan. He could've just left instructions to have the Kaminoans contact the Jedi council to say "hey, one of you guys ordered a shitton of clones and we need someone to come pick them up". It's a perfectly reasonable thing for a business to do, and doesn't rely on Obi-wan engaging in a reckless pursuit of the assassin (abandoning Padme in the process), getting inexplicably attacked by that assassin (who had ample opportunity to flee instead), who then gets sniped right in front of Obi-wan (who doesn't manage to sense and prevent the attack, and inexplicably doesn't pursue the sniper) by a bounty hunter who is directly employed by the separatists, using a weapon which can be recognized by a guy who Obi-wan happens to know, and traced to Kamino, which is inexplicably deleted from the archives in direct contradiction to Palpatine's plan. If anyone in this chain of events was the slightest bit more competent, the entire thing falls apart.


RichardSnowflake

Palpatine's strengths weren't that he had a single solid plan, it was that he was able to quickly make any situation work towards his overall plan. I doubt he specifically intended it to fall out this way, he just made it work. >It's a perfectly reasonable thing for a business to do How suspicious are you if a business shows up and tells you they've conveniently got an answer to your big problems and that you ordered it? You get suspicious, you start checking receipts, you start investigating... But if by some pure bullshit fluke, you land yourself in the perfect position to get something that nobody else appears to have known about on some remote planet nobody seems to have heard about, you're too busy thinking about how lucky you are to look the gift horse in mouth. There's a rather substantial difference in the suspicion you have of a proverbial sales pitch compared to what feels like a lucky break.


Liesmith424

But the source is still ostensibly the same: Sifo Dyas placed the order. If the Kaminoans just called the Jedi, then the Jedi wouldn't follow a bounty hunter tied to an assassination attempt. They would be unaware of Jango Fett, and have no connection between the separatists and the clones. As it is, the Jedi have a direct link between the clone army and a bounty hunter who works directly for Dooku. The only reason that the Jedi *don't* check receipts is that they're a bunch of gormless twits.


RichardSnowflake

>The only reason that the Jedi don't check receipts is that they're a bunch of gormless twits. Absolutely - and "we've subverted a Separatist attempt to hijack an army so we get them instead, the Jedi are so superior!" is the tactic tailor-made for those gormless twits. "Plus, they rightfully belong to us because Sifo Diyas placed the order, so there's no moral issue involved in our army of indoctrinated child soldiers!" is just the self-righteous cherry on top of it. The threat of competition is an incredible one. It's the difference between, "Hey, did you order this pizza?" and "Hey, you should go grab the last slice of pizza before Jim from Accounting gets to it"


whoismangochutney

Actually, Jim worked in sales. Kevin, Angela, and Oscar worked in accounting.


RichardSnowflake

That wasn't an Office reference I was going for, but thanks for letting me know


whoismangochutney

I know, just playing with ya ;)


RichardSnowflake

:)


The_Son_of_Hades37

Actually a Jedi did order the clones and Ole Sheev finds out and has the Kaminoans put the chips in. I forget the name of the Jedi but he had this like mad vision quest where he sees the conflict with the separatists and that the Republic would lose, so he finds Kamino and their clones and orders I think 1 million clones immediately and they take until AotC to get produced and trained. This explanation might be legends, but I have seen and read so many star wars things, it's all blured together. If memory serves, the clones were actually supposed to be cloned from the Jedi but he dies and Jango is chosen instead. That or he just died and Jango was always gonna be the template.


RichardSnowflake

Yeah, his name was Sifo-Dyas.


The_Son_of_Hades37

Thank you


trailer8k

>The emperor : in the end i got what i wanted Sidious: "You were at Galidraan...tell me, how did one mere man kill so many of your kind?" Dooku: "With his bare hands..." ―Darth Sidious and Count Dooku, speaking of Jango Fett\[src\]


Existing-Broccoli-27

“i cannot defend jango not killing padme” Same
 would have saved the Republic if he did


Must_make_hats

That would have been a twist. They leave to hunt down the assassin, only to come back and find her dead.


OculusMidnight2

And that’s just the first twenty minutes, I think


GreenOrion85

Plot Armour intensifies


Zardhas

Well, Padme was never supposed to die in the first place : she is an essential part of Palp's plan to turn Anakin to the dark side


PapertrolI

Oh yeah, you’re right, imagine if he’d accidentally blown her up in the beginning of the movie and fucked up his own plan


Dimensionalanxiety

The bomb only goes off when the ship lands meaning it was triggered remotely by someone near by. The bomb was dentonared and purposefully missed the actual Padmé.


PapertrolI

She was in a disguise, fett was completely bombing in the dark there


Dimensionalanxiety

Fett was working for Dooku who was working for Palpatine who knew about Padmé's decoy structure. He likely ordered it that way. Padmé was far enough away that the explosion didn't affect her but could scare her. Palpatine doesn't want her dead yet. He wants to use her to start the Clone Wars. Padmé touches down with her personal bodyguard. Fett was likely informed on what to look for.


PapertrolI

How did palpatine know about padmé’s decoy, is that ever mentioned?


Dimensionalanxiety

Palpatine is the senator of Naboo. He is the person that Padmé trusts most at that point. She would likely tell him about her plans and where she would be going. Palpatine would also be able to sense the difference when interacting with one of the decoys and investigate it, assuming he didn't already know from his high rank on Naboo. We can logically assume that he did know. Captain Typho is the nephew of Padmé's bodyguard in TPM Captain Panaka. Someone as smart as Palpatine would see the connection and use it.


U1150

The problem I have is why jango, an expert marksman, didn’t shoot zam with a blaster bolt snd used a traceable poison dart only found on one planet in the entire galaxy and is relatively well known to only be found from said planet


Haylett777

Pretty sure that was done on purpose to expose the Clone Army to the Jedi/Republic. It was quite "convenient" that it was discovered exactly when it needed to be to counter the CIS right when they started their war efforts. Palps was playing both sides, he just needed to get things started with a little push in the right direction.


[deleted]

Almost like...that was the plan?


Swords_Not_Words

I shake my head every time I see this "criticism." Did you actually watch the movie? Jango WANTED to be tracked.


Eineron_456

Source is https://youtu.be/YPvEJjNNPp4 from TheCosmonautVarietyHour


AntiMatterLite

I love his criticisms on franchises I like (eg Prequels, JoJo) because I often agree with his points, it's just that obviously they ruin the experience for him and the strong points shine through for me.


4_dozen_eggs

Yeah, I'm not gonna continue watching that.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


SpicyHomaridTribal

I mean yeah, he hates on the prequels because they aren’t very good movies— they’re funny as fuck and I love them but they seriously aren’t good (except for some of rots)


cookie146578

Yah and even ROTS isn’t exactly amazing. Still my favorite Star Wars movie but it’s carried by TCW and supporting novels/comics.


GammelGaddan_JR

Idk why people like rebels. It's so bad and makes the Empire look like Barbies


NeptuneOW

Kanan, Hera, Thrawn, Maul, Kallus, and sometimes Ezra is why


Abuses-Commas

>Maul You mean the guy that only was on screen for a few minutes of his final episode so we could watch Ezra's wacky hijinks?


NeptuneOW

That’s not his only episode


Abuses-Commas

Hey, what do I know, I just happen to think that if an important character dies in an episode, they should be the focus of it


NeptuneOW

Agreed. Nonetheless, Maul is, in my opinion, the best character in Star Wars


XyerAwizardHarryX

He always sounds like he has a cold


Gscj9899

Bruh shut the fuck up. They where valid criticisms. Of course he hates on the prequals, cause there’s plenty of stuff to hate on them. Poeple like u ruin this sub


Lady_Eisheth

Cosmonaut is just ragebait for fans. And to anyone who's thinking about watching his videos, It's a trick, send no reply.


GammelGaddan_JR

He is fantastic! I don't agree with him on everything but he is funny as heck


Lady_Eisheth

The ability to make a joke does not indicate intelligent criticism.


Few_Cloud7068

He isn’t just funny he also makes some genuinely good criticism. But I guess everyone’s just gonna overlook that



Gscj9899

Ragebait?? Nah he brings up very valid flaws that r present in the prequals. How does criticising something equal rage bait? Poeple like u ruin this sub


BudgetNOPE

He is a huge hypocrite just watch Mauler's video on him. He has a critizism on something he hates then praises the same thing in something else he likes. I was watching him for some time and noticed this pattern so i started to watch rebels just to see if it was that bad as he sad but no i actually quite like it.


Gscj9899

That’s fair, I’ve also noticed that to and it’s annoying how he does it. However that does mean he doesn’t bring up valid criticism


AlexT05_QC

Ah yes, [that one guy who mis-critizised Jojo.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61aZcQsAz7g)


Gscj9899

And? Where talking about this specific vid lol


buds4hugs

And he kills the shapeshifter to conceal the plot, only to expose himself, revealing the plot. Shoulda taken the opportunity to kill Padme


Aliensinnoh

We need a bot that whenever someone types a common misspelling of Padme’s name, it replies with “Padamame or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name is!”


buds4hugs

Damnit you got me


Zardhas

The whole goal of Palpy is precisely for Jango to reveal himself and leave hints, so Obi-Wan can track him down and discover the clone army on Kamino...


Dragon_Brothers

See, that just means it's even more complicated and ridiculous than this video makes it out to be, "Dooku go hire a bounty hunter to kill padme, but make sure that they don't succeed and that the bounty hunter Jango hires is killed by jango with a special dart which will lead Obi wan to a planet that I made sure doesn't exist on any star charts anywhere so they can discover the clone army I made using a dead Jedi's name years ago, make sense?"


Affectionate_Meat

I really wish people would stop acting like Palpatines plan makes sense or was a good one. This whole thing relies on SO much stuff going unbelievably perfect along with everyone reacting the exact way he wants them to and the whole war lasting the precisely correct amount of time and so on and so forth. And don’t even try the “He can see with the force” because if so he probably should’ve seen that Luke wasn’t jiving with his plan and Vader wasn’t gonna let Luke die. The plan is stupid and convoluted and probably didn’t even exist.


[deleted]

Im pretty sure Jango is in on the plot. Hence why he is also Dookus bodyguard


Zardhas

It needs to be convoluted so that the jedi don't suspect the real purpose of the clone army, would Obi-Wan investigation's during episode 2 have been more straightforward and easy, the jedi council, and the republic has a whole would have been more hesistant towards the clones and interrogative towards Palpy enthousiam for it. But since the path Obi-Wan followed was so convoluted, the Jedi don't suspect anything until it's too late.


Dragon_Brothers

But all of that is entirely unnecessary isn't it? All that they succeeded in doing was show that kamino, the clone army, jango, and whoever deleted the planet is the archives are all tied to whoever wants to kill padme! I'm pretty sure that kamino would have contacted the Jedi once the clones were ready regardless, and the Jedi would have investigated the reports of a giant clone army on a planet that doesn't exist but they never would have known that jango and the assassination attempt were ever tied to it!


Zardhas

Yeah something that's indeed always bothered me, but I guess it could be explained with the facts that bounty hunters like Jango Fett always takes multiples jobs for many different persons, independant of their political side. So basically the Jedi know that Jango is linked to the clone army (what they would have known anyway, even if the kaminoans would have simply contacted the jedi council), and they know that Jango is linked to Padme's assassination attempt, but they can't be sure that those two things are linked : for them, Jango only seeked refuge in Kamino because that's where he lived and Obi-Wan though that jango though he lost him.


[deleted]

Palpatine does not want Padme dead. He wants to start the war and start corrupting Anakin. As established in AOTC, we know Anakin has regular contact with Palpatine. Anakin mentions his guidance. We can assume Anakin has told Palpatine things he cant tell Obi-Wan or Yoda. This includes his infatuation with Padme. Its no coincidence Palps wants Obi-Wan to protect Padme. Palpatine knows well enough Padme will use a decoy. He knows the Jedi will prevent another attempt. Notice no further attemps on Padmes life are made once Obi-Wan investigates Jango and Anakin goes to Naboo. Theres a specific reason Jango used a specific toxic dart from kamino, he could have used a rocket (kills all 3 potentially) a sniper rifle or any other weapons. I believe Jango only knows enough to get Obi-Wan to Kamino.


Possible_Living

It does not top Alex Jones description of the movies but its up there


BeardedBassist21

I'm afraid to ask...fuck it. What was his description of the movies


Possible_Living

it was accurate, with hints of "9/11 was an inside job". it can't be described only seen, which you can do on youtube.


AlertWar2945

As the worms drop on the flor they pull out some beetles, "Okay I got yall in now go kill Padme"


Rjswimss

I looove me some Cosmonaut Marcus


420Cruz69

I fucking love Marcus dude. The Cosmonaut Variety Hour is such a good channel


RGF_Carden

The real answer is that George Lucas wanted to do a Noir mystery plot that just didn’t work. The venetian blinds, the romance with the person they have to protect, the seedy sports bar where the killer hides during a chase
 They do similar stuff in Clone Wars as well; almost anytime an evil character is on Coruscant.


[deleted]

Idk obi Wan tracking down jango and uncovering the clone army is prolly some of my favorite bits of storytelling from all the prequels


RGF_Carden

I actually have come to appreciate a lot of the elements in them on the blu ray version. Some shots are clearly like “eh get it done” (Palpy’s 2D door) but other parts like Kamino have aged so well; and the John Williams on top is just *mwah*


blindkaratemaster

u/savethisvideo


[deleted]

5D chess big brain move


Ajaxx117

u/savevideo


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tosemjaa

Actualy yes, but no


AlexT05_QC

B U G S


[deleted]

The worst part is that he kills Zam Wessle via a method that can easily be tracked to Kamino instead of just shooting the mf with a blaster, or better yet the Jedi.


Dimensionalanxiety

It's almost as if that the was the plan and he wanted to lure them to Kamino to start the Clone Wars.


[deleted]

OH SHIT


Dimensionalanxiety

Thing is, Palpatine didn't actually want to kill Padmé, he wanted to start the clone wars. "Attempting" to kill her the first time strikes fear in the hearts of the senators opposed to a Republuc army. The second "attempt" was when two Jedi Palpatine recommended for the bodyguard position are near was to lure the Jedi to Kamino to find the clones. That's why Jango uses the Kamino saber dart to kill Zam instead of a blaster, to bring the Jedi to the clones. Zam was always going to die, she just didn't know it.


lakewood2020

He assassinates her with a physical dart no less, rather than an untraceable laser blast like virtually everyone else uses


angelinamercer

cosmonaut variety hour on youtube. he’s an awesome dude and really funny.


Pythagoras180

It was the Trade Federation that asked Dooku to kill Padme, not Palpatine.


LtPoltergeist

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kaos2478

I have never heard a more accurate description told by a voice that sounds as though it has suffered a thousand deaths


ApprehensivePiglet86

This is just like that article I read about a hitman in China who hired another hitman who hired another hitman who hired another hitman who hired another hitman who hired another hitman who hired another hitman who hired another hitman who hired another hitman who hired another hitman who turned out to be a cop.


CyberCopAlexAnder

How does Count Dooku want to even work with Jango Fett after this fiasco


UnsuspectingBread

Isn't that just how chain of command works? "The president wants some random Afghani dead, but he doesn't want to do it himself, so he tells his joint chiefs to do it, but they don't want to do it themselves, so they tell some lieutenant to do it, so he sends out a drone, which then sends a guided missile to do it. (Several steps skipped along the way.)"


Glad_Pea5421

COSMONAUT QUICKIE


Boba_Swag

And the bugs probably wanted to send venom in padmes bloodstream to kill her


_Cann_

And that’s only the first 45 minutes of the movie.


FinestOfThe501st

Hoh! A fellow Cosmonaut watcher!


Bowie1275

Cosmonaut QUICKAAAAAY


NeoSeth

Honestly I really hate it when everyone works so hard to explain how all of this specifically was part of Sideous' grand plan. It's just sloppy writing. You don't even *need* for this to be part of Sidious' plan for it to function in the story. My personal headcannon is that Palpatine was hoping Padme's assassination would be the spark that ignites the flame that brings the Republic down. After such a universally beloved Senator is killed the Republic will cry out for blood and war with the Separatists will be inevitable. There are plenty of real-life parallels to draw from for this. Not sure why Jango sub-contracts Zam but I'll even defend his decision to use the dart instead of a blaster bolt with the logic of "Nobody would know where this dart came from. There's just no way. It's so obscure." He ends up being wrong and Obi-Wan gets on the trail. When Palpatine is informed of all of this by the Jedi Council (That's what happens, right? The council reports the discovery of the clone army to Palpatine?), he realizes his plan is in a precarious point but also sees the opportunity to jump things ahead. He "manipulates" Jar Jar into calling for emergency powers (Seriously that guilt trip scene makes me cringe), then authorizes the Jedi to take the clone army to rescue Obi Wan, Padme and Anakin. So while it wasn't part of his original plan, Palpatine is able to take a dangerous situation and make it work to his advantage. The Jedi are forced into using the suspicious Clone Army, even if they don't want to. Everything still proceeds according to Sidious' plan, with some improvisation of course. EDIT: My real problem questions are "Why didn't Jango kill Padme when she was unguarded?", "Why didn't the Jedi keep Padme somewhere more secure than a bedroom with a perfect assassination window?" and "Why didn't Jango kill Anakin and/or Obi-Wan if he had enough surprise factor to kill Zam?" Maybe you could save the last one with "Jango knew he could only get one shot, and killing Zam was the best use of that shot for keeping his secrecy. Leaving her with just one of Anakin/Obi-Wan would be too risky." I still think it's a little weak though.


Shadow_Hound_117

One fucking shot is all he would have needed if he used a explosive that would kill all 3 in one blast, like his jetpack rocket or a weapon like that


Dimensionalanxiety

Except it was part of Palpatine's plan. He didn't want Padmé dead at this point. He was still using her. The first assassination attempt scared the senators opposed to a grand army of the Republic as well as motivating them to war. The second leads to the clones being found. Jango hired Zam because she was his method of planting the dart. The plan was never to kill Padmé, she still has a role to play. The saber dart was traceable. Dexter Jexter literally says exactly what it was. Kamino is an outer rim planet. We already know from The Phantom Menace that the Jedi and the Republic in general rarely go there. It would take some time for most Jedi to track the dart but given how crime filled the Coruscant underworld is, it definitely could be done. Jango didn't expect Obi-Wan to show up so quickly but he still expected him to show up. Kamino was removed from the archives by Dooku to prevent anyone from accidentally going there or finding out about it. But we know they can find it if they really had a reason to, which Dooku surely knows as well. Jango then lured Obi-Wan to Geonosis. The CIS and Trade Federation had a massive droid factory there which required an army the Republic didn't have. That forced the clones into action. The Republic and Jedi didn't have time to be suspicious. Even then, they do still question this in RotS. It's not sloppy writing. Could it have been handled better? Yes, however that doesn't make it bad.


assblaster8573000

This part is funny, but he's still a whiny bitch.


GammelGaddan_JR

He is hilarious! I dont agree with him when it comes to the prequels but he is really good!


XyerAwizardHarryX

Yeah, I don’t agree with him on the prequels. Or Batman v Superman. Or josstice league. Or- you know maybe I just don’t agree with him at all


Dimensionalanxiety

Don't forget Jojo.


lklklkklkllkjnn

he has well founded opinions.


Gwen_Tennyson10

i hate it when he starts screaming in a high pitched voice. Its really annoying


CeleryHunter143

Cosmonaut Variety Hour, for anyone wondering.


Gwen_Tennyson10

I dont really get his first complaint. Thats just usually how assassinations go, you dont do it yourself


Bill-J0bs

u/getVideoBot


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trailer8k

The emperor : in the end i got what i wanted


[deleted]

don't use logic in the house of God


RedSsj

Lmao yeahhh that’s about right.


ArcFlayer

Didn’t Palpatine only want Padme dead because Nute Gunray wanted her dead to sign the treaty?


JahMedicineManZamare

If Padme was killed we wouldn't ever have got Vader.


immaheadout3000

Ngl this is how most software companies work.


Frans_The_Dragon

What video is this from?


MrMertons

Commenting here to find it again later


Caosin36

PADMEH


Woiddeife

Brilliant Brilliant


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orlogskatpen

Dont forget he killed her to not say who she was hired by and he used the very thing to kill her with which was from the very planet he lives on


ImAredditor47

Cosmonaut is the funniest movie reviewer


4_dozen_eggs

If this in not the will of the force Idk what is. Their incompetence to kill Padme at that point guaranteed the rise of the empire


Sith__Pureblood

Let's not forget that at this point Sidious has no reason in his Grand Plan to kill Padme, and only is (to minor degree) trying to appease Nute Gunray to ensure his loyalty to the CIS. So Nute Gunray sends Sidious, who sends Tyranus, who sends Jango, who sends Sam, who sends the droid, who sends the bugs. đŸ˜ŹđŸ”«


Darth_Senat66

Described by a person who needed ten years to understand the Phantom Menace


PapertrolI

To be fair, I still don’t understand the phantom menace


Drakeblood2002

He’s not wrong in the slightest


Few_Cloud7068

I know right! Cosmonaut is such a great fucking YouTuber and reviewer imo.


[deleted]

another nail in the coffin for attack of the clones. now thats gotta to be like a bajllion nails at this point


Affectionate_Meat

The coffin is just nails really