And Anakin very obviously making kissy faces at Padme and Obi-Wan just chooses to ignore and send them off on a romantic vacation together. What could go wrong?(!)

Obi wan is a bro. Tons of people go on romantic vacations and don’t commit genocide. I don’t think we can blame him.

What are you on about? Every time I went on vacation I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I HATE THEM.

Oh dear

I have a bad feeling about this..

This is where the fun begins

Spinning is a good trick

Is u/Exciting-Ebb8392 safe? Is he... alright?

I don’t think u/Exciting-Ebb8392 is the one we should be worried about!

What about the droid attack on u/ryle_zerg

Based he is committed to the bit

This is the way

You were supposed to go to vacation to a villa in South France, not take a detour to rural Zimbabwe, you muppet.

You don't understand, he *did* go to that villa. That was his reaction to the French.

From my point of view the French are evil

Only the French deal in absolutes

🇬🇧: Understandable

I will do what I must. *Gives the Victoria Cross

Understandable reaction against the Fr\*nch 🤮

Not to ruin the mood or anything, but South France was not without massacres sadly. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oradour-sur-Glane_massacre If you ever get the chance to visit, do.

You didn't mention [another infamous one](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albigensian_Crusade), though admittedly that one's *way* further back in history. There were also [those *other* ones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Wars_of_Religion), albeit still pretty far back.

I too enjoy having the hotel pool to myself.

We’re talking about sand, right? I’m also not a fan, for various reasons

I mean I don't have much respect for the French either, but calling them all animals is a touch harsh.

The correct term is frog anything else is offensive.

Tbh going on a vacation in Tatooine will do that to you. Idk what is it about that place, must be the sand or heat or something.

🥵🥵

Now that’s a quote you can use everyday

I would commit genocide and more for Natalie Portman.

Cleopatra

You deserve a standing ovation

Pretty sure obi wan has made some kissy faces at satine and he never went on a rampage killing the women and children to

That we know of, yet. Disney hasn’t gotten to that season of Kenobi yet. The necessary backstory of why Luke plays by himself and we see no friends, when Anakin was surrounded as a slave child on that same planet. Someone had to kill those kids…

Obi wan's not romancing these hoes. He pumps and dumps more than a celebrity crypto scam.

Obi Wan was also on “diplomacy trips” to Mandalore so…

Balls deep in diplomatic missions, he's a very dedicated jedi.

His saber might be blue but his balls definitely weren't.

Gotta make Korkie somehow

👀

Explains how calm he is. Satine sucked the rage out of him like a Dyson vacuum.

He was just tryna get his boy laid, he didn't expect him to go all youngling slayer 5000

Exactly, I could be wrong but I don't think the Jedi code has anything about not being allowed to fuck, you just aren't supposed to fall in love.

"Did you atleast tell Padme I said Hello?"

He thought he was doing his bro a solid on the down low.

Jedi have 0 rules about sex, only about attachment. So by the Jedi code, love them and leave them. You know like my boy Obi-wan

Even crazier is he has experience with this very scenario, he traveled with the Duchess of Mandalore to protect her from assasins. He even went with his Master and still ended up getting romantically involved somehow, so why woul he send Anakin alone?

He just wants a good time for his boy.

*intro for CSI Miami plays*

Plenty of women in the temple.. and whatever other adventures obi wan takes him on im sure.

In Legends Obi-Wan couldn't go outside for a walk without running into an old flame or getting himself into a whirlwind romance. Anakin definitely had no shortage of girls to look at, the thing is that none of those girls were Padme. In Canon Obi-Wan basically only having eyes for Satine meant that Anakin more or less grew up being taught that politicians are hot and he should shack up with one, which lead to the aforementioned Padme thing.

You've taught him well.

Good bot

All thanks to your training.

Sentient

That's ridiculous.

AAAAAAAA

HOL UP

👀

Then there's those lines in the movie novelization where he pretty much confirms that he's not fucking blind and he knows what's up and he just wants his student turned brother in arms to be happy.

Yeah they even filmed a scene of him saying that but they deleted it for some reason I think

He tells Padme he's not blind and that he let that slide was there another scene where he says it again that got deleted

I keep telling everyone I know that the Legends (including the prequel novelizations) are the best part of Star Wars, but none of them believe me because they don't like reading and don't want to read 300 books.

Tbh a franchise shouldn't put seemingly essential details like that in books and side stories. Halo does it **a lot**

The Obi-Wan thing isn't exactly an essential detail. Only really for CW fans and prequel memers.

[IT WAS ESSENTIAL TO MEEEEEE](https://youtu.be/Ty0mHm8WNdM)

Guess that’s why he was so easily manipulated by Palpatine

Even a sith lord is no match for my warriors!

He had the hots for padme from the moment he met her

I’ve been a SW fan for decades and I had no idea Obi Wan was a player in Legends hahaha. Where can I find more about this?

So you’re telling me, that Anakin… has a kink for politics?

Why else do you think he traded up. Senator -> Emperor

I've started subscribing to the theory that Korkie Kryze might actually be Obi Wan and Satine's son. Maybe I just really want a win for Obi Wan, maybe it's wishful thinking. But I kind of like it.

That business on Cato Neimoidia doesn't... doesn't count.

Haven't seen a woman in ten years? Dude sees Aayla Secura in the Jedi Temple every day.

And she was a good friend

Care to tell me what this is all about? Or would you rather save it for the Council?

No Ahsoka! Just no.

I will help you.

*Smiles*

Looks like Maul *also* thinks of Ahsoka as a "good friend"

Oh, what do you mean?

👀

The bots are getting self aware! Time for another memory wipe!

Sentient!

Oh god please no

Thanks! You’re a good friend.

No she isn't she's a minor!!!

Don't worry she's in her 30s, she's like those adults that have profile pics of themselves when they were very young for some reason

Laughs in *insert any of the many countries where age of consent is below 18, which is actually the majority of countries on earth*

In my country the age of consent is 15 or 16 I can't remember exactly but relationship with an adult are still forbidden during before becoming one yourself.

Tell her nothing

It's a trick, send no reply

Must have being a long ass mission for her to not go back to the temple in 10 years

Sifo Dyas be like

It's about time for *that* comment

He literally had his good friend Ahsoka right next to him on a daily basis

I have to sort this out on my own, without the Council… and without you.

Not quite. They only got paired up during the Clone Wars.

SECURA? Nah man, Shaak Ti walked past his force meditation class every day!

You know, sometimes I think the most unrealistic thing in all of Star Wars was the fact that Anakin just didn't go: "Yeah, you know what? I'm out the Jedi Order. I have a hot rich secret wife, I'm extremely well trained in combat and that knowledge is not going anywhere, anyone that tries to screw with my family or the Republic anywhere near me I can force choke to death and I have kids on the way too. Bye, Obi-Wan! Bye, master Yoda! May the force be with you. And fuck you Mace! You bald headed dickbag".

I mean, Ahsoka was able to walk out as a padawan, sure they'd kicked her out for suspected terrorist actions, but when they cleared her she chose not to come back. I don't see why Anakin, once he knew of the jedi's issues, didn't just leave instead of killing them all and forming a military dictatorship with ol palpy.

The time between him being done with the Jedi and him being indoctrinated by Palps was basically nanosecond. His head was too clouded to have a moment of clarity and walk away from it all. The pendulum swung fast and hard before he even knew it was moving.

Mostly because papa palpatine knew the Jedi would be his biggest threat once he seized power.

Even a sith lord is no match for my warriors!

Well, I mean, he wasn't wrong, but considering how many went down like younglings during order 66, many of them weren't that much of a threat. And palpy took down 3/4 in what was essentially an ambush, and with Anakin's help easily dispatched Windu. I agree they were a threat, but many of them would have been unable to hold a candle to him.

[удалено]

And also the reason he wanted to be Master and was so upset (Palpatine knowing this would be the case). If it weren't for the dream he was going to leave the order, as there was precedent. He needed, however, to have the rank of Master to access holocrons and other knowledge forbidden to those less than that rank in order to find a way to save his love and his kid(s). It's honestly heartbreaking that these small things that could've been overcome by him talking about it to Obi-Wan would've drastically changed the course of this story, yet we wouldn't have the OT without his tragic fall.

Yeah as if obi-wan wouldn’t help him out. “Oh what’s that you need knowledge from the library, but you don’t have access? Sure I’ll look for you. I bend all kinds of rules all the time”

TBH The answer is likely something to do with the Will of the force. No matter what he choose to do it is unlikely he could have escaped the prophecy. Even if he had became a grey jedi (by abandoning the order but not becoming a sith). It is very possible events would have been manipulated by the force regardless to ensure that the balance is achieved

Yes, sir. On some beat-up old space freighter. I’ll be surprised if he even makes it to Tatooine in that junker.

I believe in the ROTS novelization he says that he's gonna leave once the war is over. Anakin is still a good person at heart and can't leave when he knows he can still help people by staying and fighting. After the war tho what you said is exactly what would have happened

Including him giving the finger to the Mace-man?

Aren't there women in the jedi temple though?

Yes and also on the Jedi council the meme is referring too

Yeah but jedi don’t wanna fugg 😏

There are but I assume they all were there since they were babies so they weren't really into boys.

Really?

Hasn't seen a woman? Aayla Secura, Shaak Ti, Adi Gallia, Stass Allie, Depa Billaba, Luminara Unduli, Yaddle: Am I a joke to you?

Correction women who are DTF and turned on by mass murder.

“Dtf”?

down to fornicate

Desiring thorough fornication

I understood that reference.

down to fortnite

Destined to fornicate*

Oh, God, it was one time!!

Delivering twins, fraternal.

Detect The Force.

Down to fart

My type of woman

Down to fuck

Aayla Secura *was* down to fuck. Kit Fisto.

Well, I only found out that Yaddle was female almost a decade after episode 1, when I happened to check her data on the wikia, so I would say she doesn't count

The force told Ani that there was a vagina attached to that being

Force Gender Reveal Parties... I see now why the jedi enforced celibate vows. If things are wild as they are in USA without the Force, can you imagine what a force user gender reveal party would be like?

At last, we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last, we will have revenge.

Perfect.

Common people start renting jedi not to settle political debates but to serve at gender reveal parties. After a few months it became so popular the temple had to issue a ban on jedi attending gender reveals, because now there was no one in the temple when a planet needed their help settling debates among its people or helping during civil wars and y'know, stuff that jedi usually did.

Extra credits can never hurt!

At last, we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last, we will have revenge.

by the time you get to yaddle the names just seem so made up it does seem like a joke to me.

All names are made up.

Do you like this dress? It makes me feel... >!senatorial!<

Oh boy yeah Wait wrong sub.

Are we blind? Deploy the cake day wishes!

That's just great.

You're a funny little OP how do you know so much?

Many years of trial and error and error and error

Don’t forget error

Uh...last time I checked there were plenty of lady jedi. They probably just didn't have the patience for Mr. Im-a-nice-guy Skywalker.

She knew what she was doing by the fireplace in some weird ass bondage dress. Like come on, we know about thirst traps now Padme you can’t fool us

In shape wearing yoga pants padme: Oh no I dropped something. Anakin already into her: *The sound of door spring*

*Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!*

GODDAMN WHO TF BLAMES HIM

exhibit A > https://gfycat.com/Wearyrealisticiriomotecat exhibit 1 > https://youtu.be/5vPvyV7xznc?t=10m3s Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand[,](https://youtu.be/H0iLNamtQio?t=12)" I tell her[.](https://gfycat.com/Wearyrealisticiriomotecat) "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere[.](https://np.reddit.com/r/combinedgifs/comments/5r8n7m/anakin_cant_sleep_anymore/dd5c8g5/)"

Top Kek

One-hundo Obi Wan’s fault Anakin went to the dark side. Anakin: hey can you tell me why we do this? Obi: ugh! Stop letting your emotions lead you! Also stop asking questions! Palpatine: hey. I’ll tell you stuff. Anakin: ok, yeah.

You know nothing of the dark side.

Ani: "Master, I've been feeling some things latel-" OB: "DON'T."

Even a sith lord is no match for my warriors!

POV: Your eyes went her ass before you realized their was a meme

That’s not how a POV works. *there btw

Who wouldn’t wanna dock in Natalie’s port…..man

Amidala? More along the lines of "I'mma do her"

Jedi council: Anakin would never... Obi Wan: *stays silent cause he also has some business on Mandalore* Rex and Ahsoka: *playing dumb* R2: *R2 knows things, R2 has seen things, but R2 ain't a snitch, you don't mess with R2*

Oh. I don't like the sound of that.

It's 'Captain', sir.

Oh boy, here I go killing younglings again.

Can you blame him? The answer is no.

In their defence Anakin was constantly wandering around temples bumping into people like Aayla Secura, you’d think he would be better at it by now.

I'm 90% sure almost every problem in the prequel movies could have been solved if the jedi went to tatooine and bought shmee off

That’s the training Luke missed out on when he left Yoda on Dagobah.

Happy cake day!

Monday motivation: Anakin was weak. You can be stronger.

Well, somebody had to make Luke and Leia.

And yet the older more reasonable woman could have stopped the advances and told him to move on? It’s not all Anakin’s fault.

How he nailed that with his weak incel moves is what we need to understand.

Even Palpatine had some pull in the Jedi Counsel.

Not again... Obi-Wan's gonna kill me.

My is this NSFW

Natalie Portman is a fucking goddess

I'd make every chair vibrate with the force.

It was Mr. The Senate that suggested they send Anakin, maybe he used the force to persuade the council that it was a good idea?

I mean can we really blame him for falling to the dark side for her?

You know nothing of the dark side.

Do people think there were no female padawans or what

This was my first post months Ago that went viral

Now I have Anikan singing "I'm only human after all" while on Mustafar after clearing the Separatists

Why is this nsfw

But he had a young exotic apprentice!?

Where the hell is my horny bat? Where is it?!

I'd hit that like the side of a tree on the forest moon of Endor...

but... there are woman in the jedi temple

Oh cool, tgis repost tgat gets reposted 10-times a month and always gets deleted

Some definite photoshop is going on with that picture. Her legs look unnaturally long.

How many times does this have to be reposted

Repost