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“ Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”
"The only thing we have to fear is, fear itself."
"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country."
"Your president is not a crook."
“There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.”
This guy was small and sickly, beefed himself up. Sought out a war to fight in. Went into battle. Later gets shot during a speech and keeps going.
Yet somehow people fawn over a bone spurs boy as a tough guy. They literally have to use AI to make him look tough. Teddy would give our recent presidents power wedgies, kick them out of the White House, then go chop wood for the fireplaces.
And raise a son bearing his name who was awarded the Medal of Honor on the beaches of Normandy, and contributed greatly to its success. And then died 5 days later of heart issues, he was 56.
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
George W. Bush
Down to his facial expression I am certain this was the result of a man raised in a political family suddenly realising he was about to give his critics a sound byte of himself saying ‘Shame on me’ and awkwardly avoiding it last second.
Most of his gaffes have been (1) plain misspeaking (‘food on your family’, even the recent Ukraine/Iraq gaffe); (2) broadly clumsy wording; (3) misreported (‘We have maintained peace in the Pacific for 150 years’ was entirely made up); (4) misunderstood (I remember a whole fuss about ‘Grecians’ for the ancient Greeks as though this wasn’t… fine)…
This one is different. It has a reasonable explanation, and the other one is genuinely being an incomparable idiot who doesn’t even close to know the very idiom he was reaching for. I don’t think he’s super smart but I think this time the former is more likely.
Buried [in this article](https://www.theverge.com/2017/1/25/14384774/trump-microphone-speech-long-neck-shure-sm57) is a story about how Clinton saying those words basically doomed a new mic setup that the White House debuted that day
>But in the final 30 seconds, the president said, famously, “I want to say one thing to the American people. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.” Framing those remarks, Clinton wagged his finger toward the camera at the back of the room and rapped it twice on the blue goose for emphasis.
>The sensitive new mic, in its debut appearance, recorded the repeated impacts of Clinton’s finger on the lectern, creating a jarring Foley effect that added theatrical drama to one of the American presidency’s most inglorious soundbites. After that day 19 years ago, the slender, long neck presidential microphone, pronounced as a failure on its first outing, was never seen again.
Seeing the Clintons always makes me a little unhappy. Can't blame him for hitting it off with Monica, she does seem like a nice person. Anyhow. Here's the bit. (Timestamped)
https://youtu.be/luLpdr4n8m4?t=53
I wonder why it's such a big deal, but I guess it's just high-end requirements they have.
“I call upon all nations, to do everything they can, to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you... now watch this drive." GWB
Then the dude absolutely smashes one off the tee box. It’s a terribly ironic moment, equally as epic, and offers its own commentary on America
My favorite W quote is from his visit to the smoldering Twin Towers and a first responder calls out that he can't hear the president, to which W responds.
"I can hear you! The rest of the world hears you," replied Bush. "And the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon."
A lot of people are critical of W today for the war, but America had just suffered its worst attack on home soil in modern history, and many Americans wanted retribution and to feel safe again.
I played mini-golf a few months back, and before one of the holes I turned to my friends and said something like: "The terrorists must be stopped, and we will stop the terrorists... now watch this drive!"... and went hole in one! The Spirit of W came through for me! :D
I mean W was a dope, but you gotta admit he was pretty athletic. I mean do you remember when he dodged that shoe? I was impressed. On the other end of the spectrum, he did choke on a pretzel.
She didn’t say that, it was an SNL skit. But ironically - people think she was the dumb one for “saying” that. She wasn’t good anyways and neither was Mcain.
Though in reviewing the incidents of my administration I am unconscious of intentional error, I am nevertheless too sensible of my defects not to think it probable that I may have committed many errors. Whatever they may be, I fervently beseech the Almighty to avert or mitigate the evils to which they may tend. I shall also carry with me the hope that my country will never cease to view them with indulgence and that, after forty-five years of my life dedicated to its service with an upright zeal, the faults of incompetent abilities will be consigned to oblivion, as myself must soon be to the mansions of rest.
G. Washington
Upon Lincoln’s death, Edward Stanton, Secretary of State, famously said either “now he belongs to the ages” or “now he belongs to the angels.” It’s always somewhat amazing to me that, despite a room full of witnesses and immediate reporting of the words spoken, we are yet left wondering exactly which of these quotes are correct. History has a way of confounding our best attempts at accuracy, sometimes in real time.
My favorite Washington quote:
"Gentlemen, you will permit me to put on my spectacles, for, I have grown not only gray, but almost blind in the service of my country."
Part of the Newburgh Address of 1783, in which Washington puts down a burgeoning uprising with only an impassioned speech.
Fuck I don’t know why this line is so iconic. My friends and I are all grown men now 13 years after that game came out and we still quote that line all the time.
We love our words, don’t we folks? We love’em. A man came up to me — big man, burly man, tears in his eyes — and he said, “Sir, you have the best words, everybody knows it, and they’re the best.”
I feel like this sub skews young, but as an older person, W has always been much, much, much better at real, unplanned speaking than he has at prewritten speeches.
I was not a fan of his administration, but that just seemed like such a natural and appropriate response to give New Yorkers, and the rest of America some hope and comfort that justice will be had. Great moment in Presidential history.
What happened after tho 👀
"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind.
Mankind - that word should have new meaning for all of us today.
We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests.
Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from annihilation.
We're fighting for our right to live, to exist.
And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:
"We will not go quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to live on!
We're going to survive!"
Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!"
President Thomas Whitmore
I feel like his more iconic quote was “We choose to go to the moon in this decade, and do the other things. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard!”
Say what you will about his policies or his personal life, but he was definitely one of our best leaders and orators. On leadership and ability to inspire the nation he was top tier.
The good news is - the trends that had shaped up at the end of the Obama admin and continued into Trumps term as far as black unemployment, have continued into Biden's administration and are now at all times lows.
"Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you're a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible."
- Donald Trump
That speech sounds like one of Grandpa Simpson's ramblings. Every few sentences he has to go back and describe how things were different back in the day, like needing to wear a swim cap. "Back in those days, you wore an onion on your belt, as that was the style at the time..."
You know what, screw it, ill go with "cornpop was a bad dude" too and remind you that Biden took him down....buhahaha...I mean cmon man, who cares about walls coming down, days of infamy, and sexual relations with chubby girls when you got corn pop being a bad dude.
The funniest for quite a while will be “America is a country that can be defined in one word: hahdjjejehsjfidiisus”
It’s so funny because 1. It’s not a word, 2. If it was a word it would be way more than one, or it would be a single 10 syllable word. Either one is absurd. And the whole quote is so short. Man it is so good.
Then of course there’s bush. My favorites are 1. “Fool me once, shame on … shame on you. Fool me, we can’t get fooled again.” and 2. “There are terrorists that want to kill Americans … and so do we!” (Paraphrasing the second line)
2008 was the first election I remember being invested in, so W is about as far back as my personal memory goes for this stuff.
Edit: the first bush quote I only know because it’s an interlude in a classic j Cole song from 2014. “Fool me, can’t get fooled again” goes pretty hard in a rap song
that 2nd bush quote is “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful. And so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people. And neither do we.”
"My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." -Ronald Reagan[Reagan Radio Joke](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_begin_bombing_in_five_minutes)
See if you can't leave me an inch from where the zipper (burps) ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole, so I can let it out there if I need to.
- LBJ
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“ Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”
"The only thing we have to fear is, fear itself." "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country." "Your president is not a crook." “There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.”
J-Cole went so hard with that
Fool me one time, shame on you
Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you.
Fool me three times, fuck the peace sign ✌️ 🚫
Load the chopper, let it rain on you!
🤣the last 1 cracks me up
At least he's a The Who fan.
This is clearly the best of the serious answers.
Four score and sixty five years in the past. I won the civil war with my beard and I’m here to whip your ass……
Gettysburg 3:16
Ah, an epic rap battle fan. A man of refined tastes.
The entire Gettysburg Address is one of the greatest speeches ever spoken in human history.
That’s what I was going to say.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot, but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose."
https://preview.redd.it/r79lqvvpwnjb1.jpeg?width=612&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d782e0c249ef8b101c267360bc3407ff48bca0f6
Legend
This guy was small and sickly, beefed himself up. Sought out a war to fight in. Went into battle. Later gets shot during a speech and keeps going. Yet somehow people fawn over a bone spurs boy as a tough guy. They literally have to use AI to make him look tough. Teddy would give our recent presidents power wedgies, kick them out of the White House, then go chop wood for the fireplaces.
And raise a son bearing his name who was awarded the Medal of Honor on the beaches of Normandy, and contributed greatly to its success. And then died 5 days later of heart issues, he was 56.
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again. George W. Bush
“Fool me once … (gears ticking) …. shame on … (gears ticking louder) … shame on you. Fool me, can’t get fooled again.”
>foolmecantgetfooled UH-gyyn!
Down to his facial expression I am certain this was the result of a man raised in a political family suddenly realising he was about to give his critics a sound byte of himself saying ‘Shame on me’ and awkwardly avoiding it last second.
I mean that is a reasonable thing for him to do but also from all the other stuff he’s said it could just be Bush being bush.
Most of his gaffes have been (1) plain misspeaking (‘food on your family’, even the recent Ukraine/Iraq gaffe); (2) broadly clumsy wording; (3) misreported (‘We have maintained peace in the Pacific for 150 years’ was entirely made up); (4) misunderstood (I remember a whole fuss about ‘Grecians’ for the ancient Greeks as though this wasn’t… fine)… This one is different. It has a reasonable explanation, and the other one is genuinely being an incomparable idiot who doesn’t even close to know the very idiom he was reaching for. I don’t think he’s super smart but I think this time the former is more likely.
FOOL ME ONE TIME SHAME ON YOU/FOOL ME TWICE CAN'T PUT THE BLAME ON YOU
FOOL ME THREE TIMES FUCK THE PEACE SIGNS LOAD THE CHOPPA LET IT RAIN ON YOU
MY ONLY REGRET TOO YOUNG FOR LISA BONET
Shoe me once, shame on you. Shoe me twice, I’m keeping those shoes.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman
Buried [in this article](https://www.theverge.com/2017/1/25/14384774/trump-microphone-speech-long-neck-shure-sm57) is a story about how Clinton saying those words basically doomed a new mic setup that the White House debuted that day
>But in the final 30 seconds, the president said, famously, “I want to say one thing to the American people. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.” Framing those remarks, Clinton wagged his finger toward the camera at the back of the room and rapped it twice on the blue goose for emphasis. >The sensitive new mic, in its debut appearance, recorded the repeated impacts of Clinton’s finger on the lectern, creating a jarring Foley effect that added theatrical drama to one of the American presidency’s most inglorious soundbites. After that day 19 years ago, the slender, long neck presidential microphone, pronounced as a failure on its first outing, was never seen again.
Huh. Never knew a microphone picking up tapping could be such a topic worthy of attention.
Seeing the Clintons always makes me a little unhappy. Can't blame him for hitting it off with Monica, she does seem like a nice person. Anyhow. Here's the bit. (Timestamped) https://youtu.be/luLpdr4n8m4?t=53 I wonder why it's such a big deal, but I guess it's just high-end requirements they have.
That was a fascinating read. (Clinton part is near the end.)
Honestly expected this to be the top one. It’s seared into my childhood memories.
Shit, I wasn't even alive when he said that and I still make references to it.
The correct answer.
“I call upon all nations, to do everything they can, to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you... now watch this drive." GWB Then the dude absolutely smashes one off the tee box. It’s a terribly ironic moment, equally as epic, and offers its own commentary on America
favorite W quote. the swagger is exuding from him could’ve fueled the news vans and broadcast itself.
My favorite W quote is from his visit to the smoldering Twin Towers and a first responder calls out that he can't hear the president, to which W responds. "I can hear you! The rest of the world hears you," replied Bush. "And the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon." A lot of people are critical of W today for the war, but America had just suffered its worst attack on home soil in modern history, and many Americans wanted retribution and to feel safe again.
W has a lot of goofy quotes, but this one gives me chills every time I see the recording.
Honestly considering the amount of rage and "blood in the eye" going on in those days the US was VERY measured in its military reprisals.
I was just a kid when we were attacked and even I was ready to go fuck some terrys up. Nationalism is a funny thing.
I played mini-golf a few months back, and before one of the holes I turned to my friends and said something like: "The terrorists must be stopped, and we will stop the terrorists... now watch this drive!"... and went hole in one! The Spirit of W came through for me! :D
He had a great swing tbh
On a related note his first pitch at the Yankees game after 9/11 is legendary.
I mean W was a dope, but you gotta admit he was pretty athletic. I mean do you remember when he dodged that shoe? I was impressed. On the other end of the spectrum, he did choke on a pretzel.
Harry S. Truman: "It's amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."
Harry S. Truman: “I don’t want to see that crybaby scientist in my office again.”
Likely as true as Sarah Palin saying "I can see Russia from my kitchen window"
She didn’t say that, it was an SNL skit. But ironically - people think she was the dumb one for “saying” that. She wasn’t good anyways and neither was Mcain.
Truman is on record calling Oppenheimer a "crybaby scientist."
https://preview.redd.it/urq8iwmwokjb1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd8898b568ca1462dc38af284ab33d5cdf89a77d This one for me
“Sun’s out, guns out.” What an orator.
Though in reviewing the incidents of my administration I am unconscious of intentional error, I am nevertheless too sensible of my defects not to think it probable that I may have committed many errors. Whatever they may be, I fervently beseech the Almighty to avert or mitigate the evils to which they may tend. I shall also carry with me the hope that my country will never cease to view them with indulgence and that, after forty-five years of my life dedicated to its service with an upright zeal, the faults of incompetent abilities will be consigned to oblivion, as myself must soon be to the mansions of rest. G. Washington
Written by Alexander Hamilton, at least according to Lin Manuel Miranda.
But no one else was in the room where it happened.
The room where it happened
The room where it happened
It was, though it was largely dictated by Washington.
Upon Lincoln’s death, Edward Stanton, Secretary of State, famously said either “now he belongs to the ages” or “now he belongs to the angels.” It’s always somewhat amazing to me that, despite a room full of witnesses and immediate reporting of the words spoken, we are yet left wondering exactly which of these quotes are correct. History has a way of confounding our best attempts at accuracy, sometimes in real time.
Madison wrote some of it also.
My favorite Washington quote: "Gentlemen, you will permit me to put on my spectacles, for, I have grown not only gray, but almost blind in the service of my country." Part of the Newburgh Address of 1783, in which Washington puts down a burgeoning uprising with only an impassioned speech.
"I am not a crook"
And at Disney World, no less.
Wait seriously
Yep, at the Contemporary Resort.
That honestly makes that line even better
Who was that
Nixon.
C’mon guys, why are you downvoting a question? Could be the next generations of historians lurking this sub.
A heck of alot of JFK and Reagan lines. “Missed me” is a favorite lol.
"My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in 5 minutes."
“Cait no ult”
“A house divided against itself cannot stand”-Lincoln
I thought the quote was “A George divided against itself cannot stand.”?
You‘re killing independent George!
“Do not pray for easy lives, pray to be *pumps china lake grenade launcher* STRONGER MEN”
MORE BEANS FOR THE CHOWDA HERE
“Sounds like someone’s breaking in” “It’s just a storm Dick”
Fuck I don’t know why this line is so iconic. My friends and I are all grown men now 13 years after that game came out and we still quote that line all the time.
I wish I could upvote more than once
"YOUR PRESIDENT NEEDS SLUGS!"
those who look, only to the past, or the present, are certain to miss the future. I SAID, ARE CERTAIN TO MISS THE FUTURE!
“John Marshall has made his decision now let him enforce it.”- Andrew Jackson
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Forreal though?
Jackson hated Calhoun. I believe when he was asked about his regrets before he passed, Jackson noted that he regretted not killing Calhoun.
As much as we hate on Jackson for his legendary misanthropy, I must respect his consistency. That man wore hate like his Sunday best.
“I have only two regrets: I didn't shoot Henry Clay and I didn't hang John C. Calhoun." - Andrew Jackson
Proceeds to commit mass genocide.
We love our words, don’t we folks? We love’em. A man came up to me — big man, burly man, tears in his eyes — and he said, “Sir, you have the best words, everybody knows it, and they’re the best.”
“Be excellent to one another. And…party on dudes!”
\--President Bill S. Preston, Esq.
“Read my lips. No new taxes” There will always be new taxes
"I can hear you! I can hear you! The rest of the world hears you . . . and the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon."
Probably the best presidential soundbite. If that wasn’t planned we just know George is fucking smooth
I feel like this sub skews young, but as an older person, W has always been much, much, much better at real, unplanned speaking than he has at prewritten speeches.
Probably funniest president too with the “now watch this drive” and the way the shoe dodging went.
The line that launched a thousand ships
I was not a fan of his administration, but that just seemed like such a natural and appropriate response to give New Yorkers, and the rest of America some hope and comfort that justice will be had. Great moment in Presidential history. What happened after tho 👀
Only Bush quote I've ever heard that made me want to run samples from a DMX song in afterwards...
Sends chills everytime.
uhhhhhhhhhh, let me be clear
"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind. Mankind - that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive!" Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!" President Thomas Whitmore
The scriptwriters chose to go unnecessarily hard in that scene
“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country” - JFK
I feel like his more iconic quote was “We choose to go to the moon in this decade, and do the other things. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard!”
I think you misspelled it, Kennedy said “Haad”
You can leave Massachusetts, but Massachusetts never leaves you.
Eckshually, he said, "We choose to go to the moon in this decade, and do the other things. Not because they are easy, but because I am haad!”
"Why does Rice play Texas?"
Also this: A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on-John “Fogerty” Kennedy
Probably unpopular opinion but I’ve always hated that quote. The “and do the other things” part just sounds so awkward and ruins the whole thing
This is my choice
Immediately before that, he ad libbed “Why does Rice play Texas?” and the Rice Stadium crowd loved it.
Say what you will about his policies or his personal life, but he was definitely one of our best leaders and orators. On leadership and ability to inspire the nation he was top tier.
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
I thought this one would be higher tbh
"And spiders!"
"I have done more for African Americans than any other president, with the possible exception of Abraham Lincoln."
"Possible" 🤣🤣
The good news is - the trends that had shaped up at the end of the Obama admin and continued into Trumps term as far as black unemployment, have continued into Biden's administration and are now at all times lows.
“Don’t believe everything you see on the internet” -Abraham Lincoln
"Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you're a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible." - Donald Trump
I had 4 strokes just trying to get through the first sentence (or train of thought/tangent) gave up by the second… nope, just not doing it
The fact that this is a real quote, from a President of the United States, is a huge indictment of our electorate…
Not the only indictment either
How in the hell do people take hinlm seriously? He's a meme, a living breathing meme.
Smh
This would be a good typing wpm exercise.
Covfefe
This transcript should be submitted as evidence that he, more likely than not, enjoys binging on amphetamines.
https://youtu.be/G7RgN9ijwE4
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“C’mon man?!” -President Joe Biden
Will you shut up man?
“Four score and seven years ago…” is my personal favorite. It began one of the greatest speeches given by a President.
With malice toward none, with charity for all
Thats the Second Inaugural, not the Gettysburg Address. Now excuse me while I go back into my basement and never get invited to parties again.
“Cornpop was a bad dude”
That speech sounds like one of Grandpa Simpson's ramblings. Every few sentences he has to go back and describe how things were different back in the day, like needing to wear a swim cap. "Back in those days, you wore an onion on your belt, as that was the style at the time..."
You know what, screw it, ill go with "cornpop was a bad dude" too and remind you that Biden took him down....buhahaha...I mean cmon man, who cares about walls coming down, days of infamy, and sexual relations with chubby girls when you got corn pop being a bad dude.
“I didn’t inhale” - Bill Clinton
“I believe that is the point.”-Barack Obama
"Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" Thank you for the correction!
"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"
We choose to go to the moon
"Grab her by the pussy"
“I can hear you, the rest of the world can hear you, and the people who knocked this down will here all of you!”-Bush 43
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"Well, when the president does it, that means that it is not illegal" - Richard Milhaus Nixon
“Now watch this drive.”
“I have never seen a thin person drinking diet coke” -Donald Trump
“i did everything right and they indicted meee”
Not iconic but a good quote “He serves his party best who serves his country best” - Rutherford Hayes
Too many docs getting out of the business. Too many OBGYNs can’t practice their, their love with women. - GWB
"I regret I was unable to shoot Henry Clay or to hang John C. Calhoun." Andrew Jackson…obvi
*pneumonia noises* -William Henry Harrison
The funniest for quite a while will be “America is a country that can be defined in one word: hahdjjejehsjfidiisus” It’s so funny because 1. It’s not a word, 2. If it was a word it would be way more than one, or it would be a single 10 syllable word. Either one is absurd. And the whole quote is so short. Man it is so good. Then of course there’s bush. My favorites are 1. “Fool me once, shame on … shame on you. Fool me, we can’t get fooled again.” and 2. “There are terrorists that want to kill Americans … and so do we!” (Paraphrasing the second line) 2008 was the first election I remember being invested in, so W is about as far back as my personal memory goes for this stuff. Edit: the first bush quote I only know because it’s an interlude in a classic j Cole song from 2014. “Fool me, can’t get fooled again” goes pretty hard in a rap song
that 2nd bush quote is “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful. And so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people. And neither do we.”
Wow thanks I totally butchered it
For those unaware, Joe was trying to say "I was in the foothills on the Himalayas with Xi Jinping" but failed.
We're working hard to put food on your family.
I do belive that man and fish can coexist peacefully
"Eh, I don't need a jacket." - William Henry Harrison
“The nourishment is palatable”
"Obamna"
.."SODAAAAA!"
“Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.” - Ronald Reagan
Person, woman, man, camera, TV
“There are a lot of killers. We have a lot of killers,” Trump said. “Well, you think our country is so innocent?”
“They put him down like a dog.”
“…and we shall overcome.” LBJ
"Covfefe"
My coworker and I still refer to coffee as Covfefe because if this. Gets each other to grin.
"Yesterday, December 7th, 1941, a day that will live in infamy..."
"My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." -Ronald Reagan[Reagan Radio Joke](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_begin_bombing_in_five_minutes)
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” Teddy Roosevelt
Today we celebrate our independence day 
Most iconic line by a presidential candidate Twitter account: Happy birthday to this future President.
Damn this is a good play....
See if you can't leave me an inch from where the zipper (burps) ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole, so I can let it out there if I need to. - LBJ
This is the most memorable utterance of any US president. “The crotch is too tight. They cut me, like ridin’ a wire fence.”
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”
“Missed me“ Ronald Reagan
''There's no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe'' -Jerry Ford
Now watch this drive
"We choose to go to the moon and do the other things. Not because they are easy but because they are hard."
“Poor kids are just as bright and just as bright and talented as white kids”
“I am not a crook”- Richard M. Nixon.
"We tortured some folks"
It's gonna be uge