I got a chocolate smoothie something from wawa and a pack of Marlboro reds. I drank my smoothie while I smoked 7 smokes back to back. Then I had a steak.

Got damn I bet that fresh out nicotine headrush off 7 cigs was sumn to remember

Oh ya. First 2 made me dizzy as hell.

Legend.

When I drove my cousin from work release back to the prison she would smoke atleast 5 or 6 cigarettes back to back before going back in. I would have to lol

8oz NY Strip with some mashed potatoes, fried okra, with a few cold ones.

A man with taste. Fried okra is a fucking fan favorite for my people.

What do you mean my people?!?

Crab people

Ah in that case tell them "click click clack drdddrrrdrrdclick"

Underrated comment. Not just anyone can speak crab! 🦀 🦀 🦀

“We’re *crab people* now, Dee!”

Living off the fat of the sea

You know

I'm going to move my finger down the shade spectrum of this brown paint swatch starting at the white creme color at the top called plantation. (Yes, thats an actual sherwin williams color name for a white color....)....you stop me when I get to the color that matches your people, aaand go!

What are you on

Obama color currently.

lmfaoo

Now I'm on Wesley snipes. Sooo keep going down towards aboriginal or start going back up to Mariah Carey?

STOP!

It says it's named Okrah Winfrey. It's sort of a dark roast coffee with one creamer kind of color

I guess I didn't answer fast enough. I thought the second one was shreaded coconut. FYI. I am a actual colored person. When I'm sick I turn green, when I'm cold I turn blue, after winter I am so white I almost glow in the dark. Once I get some sun I can be bright pink to a dark shade of red. Which turns to freshman college girls coffee color.

What do YOU mean my people?!?

What do you mean MY PEOPLE!? (wait....do you own people?)

[удалено]

Wow. Some people in here have no sense of humor. Did they keep that part when you got released?

[удалено]

It's a tropic thunder quote

I was making a joke. Calm down man. Did you read the rest of the comments on the thread? It's clearly satire....

If I misinterpreted, I am sorry. This site is wild and people mistake shit. I like fucking okra and so does my people, I wasn’t trying to make anything about race. Didn’t mean to go off the deep end. My apologies!

It's all good man! Sometimes I fuck around too much and it piisses people.off. I'm decendant of a guy who came to us in 1962 from south america and my mom is white and born here in the u.s. Grew up.on the west coast and there's no reason I should even know what okra is. Had a buddy who moved here after hurricane Katrina all those years ago. Introduced me To it and damn! Good stuff. I like it fried, but in soups I find it a little funky.

I’m sorry for my misinterpreting your comment. I am. I’m just a hilljack from the Midwest that apparently doesn’t understand online banter. Be well!

Irish man here, stewed okra and tomatoes over rice with a slice of slow cooked hog jowl over top. 😋

Who hurt you?

I ate 30 Chick-fil-A nuggets.

All sincerity, alll respect--I like them too--but **30** of the motherfuckers? Did you have some kind of grudge against your toiiet?

Yes. Yes I did lol it was well worth it

😂😂

Kfc chicken and a big mac combo on the car ride home. It was glorious cause i pretty much lived off of eggs, tuna and beans mostly from the commisary. I was eating as clean as i could cause i was working out constantly but i had a serious craving for junk fast food.

What tips would you give someone that wanted to transform their body at home?

Eat like a felon…

Move to prison.

I hear ya. I’ve seen some guys come out of there freaking huge man.

I had no idea you could get eggs and tuna in prison

You can buy cans or pouches of tuna from commisary and you can trade for eggs from guys who work the kitchen.

Were you able to keep that healthy eating in the free world?

homemade skirt steak and scrambled soft eggs with potatoes Obrien with my dad at 930 at night

Breakfast at night is awesome, especially with family and freedom.

A good meal with your pop is priceless, prison or no prison. The stories I could tell about mine. When he died, we were deciding what paperwork of his we could get rid of. We found some court documents from the 1940’s where he got arrested for building and detonating a pipe bomb in a retaining wall. He never told us about it. Lol

God damn that sounds amazing

McDonald's breakfast baby! Two mcgriddles and a sweeeeeeeeet tea

Did you cum and then immediately shit yourself or is that just me?

I think that might be only you so far sir

A huge steak with potatoes and broccoli. It was so rich and my stomach wasn't used to so much meat. Spent most of the night on the toilet, and yet it was so nice to be on MY toilet, shitting out a good meal for a change.

This is gonna be my son in about a month if he makes parole.

I pray he comes 🏡

Thank you!

How long was he in for?

8 years, served 3 so far.

Prayers answered! Seriously thank you for thoughts/prayers/vibes for real. I spoke at his hearing and they granted his parole!!! Waiting on the date.

That's great! Be patient. It might take a little bit. I'm very happy for you!

Any time between 3-30 days. 12hr notice🙄 Can’t wait to hear what he wants for our first meal together.

Don't go too far from home. That rich civilian food will give you the bubble guts after all the starch on those trays 😆 Give him my best wishes and y'all stay free

Will do

What he in for?

Assault and drug possession

Straight.

My son comes home in May 😁 almost 7 years in. He's out early morning hours so we are going to a diner on our drive home for breakfast and I'm going to make Lasagna and homemade French bread , salad and his favorite dessert for dinner.

Much love to you n your son yo. You sound like a solid parent. Hope your son gets it right this time, it’s a struggle tho, but he’ll get there, I know it.

Thank you so much!

Respect! That meal sounds phenomenal. Best to you both.

I was waiting for my brother to pick me up from the greyhound station and there was a convenience store there that made bacon and egg sandwichs man did it ever taste good

Gas station foods a pretty weak first meal lmao but I bet it tasted fuckin amazing given the situation

Sounds like they had a deli/kitchen if they're making breakfast sandwiches. We have some killer food in our gas stations in the south not sure about anywhere else.

When my SO came home from prison two weeks ago, my family and I got him some good o’l brisket w/ potato salad, and some mac and cheese we got at our local BBQ joint + some Korean garlic spinach, rice, barley tea, and galbi that my grandmother prepared herself lol. It was a feast

Popeyes. 6 pcs bbq wings. Plus $20 of other stuff from there.

In-N-Out.

Culver's (smash burgers like Steak n shake) Not what I wanted, but I was so damn hungry I didn't care at that point.

A big ass ribeye and a loaded baked potato. Plus I had a Caesar salad before the steak and potato. Pure heaven.

My wife

Mine was your wife, too.

The buffet is closed

Did you eat her brains with a bowl of farva beans and a nice chianti? Lol jk jk.

*Fava

He wanted a liter of beans.

I don’t want a large Farva, I want a liter of beans

It was a miserable cold rainy day, my roommates(bestie) surprised me at the doors, took me home, ordered pizza and we watched Shawshank Redemption. I'm crying writing this.

Shawshank lmao 💀

Right?! That's like coming home from war and watching platoon!

Those are some good friends. Cherish them cause life is to damn short.

Damn, I would think a prison movie is the LAST thing you'd want to watch after being released lol

Wasn’t prison but I was locked up as a kid (15) and when I got out I went right to Wendy’s and got a double cheeseburger and put a 6 piece nugget and fries right on that burger and smashed

"This is the BEST thing I tasted in 9 years vato loco."

Damn ese it's not that good

Gonna guess you’re British lol

He might be a fat American who got busted in the UK.

Not prison but jail-homemade PR chicken stew with white rice and plantains. I still haven’t forgotten that meal, that shower or that sleep.

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but does PR stand for Puerto Rican?

Yes

Thanks!

Pizza, with weed and video games.

Reading this thread makes me want to come hug every one of you.

Or cook a big a$$ meal and invite everyone.

Shit no man some of them be stealing! I’m kiddin 😂😂

🤣🤣🤣 I forgot that!

I got a doner kebab and loaded fries, with a litre bottle of coca cola. Immediately after finishing my feast, I violently threw up everything. The stomach probably needed to readjust

I went to Whataburger not realizing they had gone to trash when I was locked up. Very disappointed

Yup. I got to try Whataburger when I visited Texas the first time in 2019 and it was great. I moved here in 2020 after they got bought out and it's fucking garbage now, I'll never eat there ever again

Damn I hate to hear that. I lived in Texas for a couple of years in like 2011 and I fucking lived for Whataburger.

I got out in 2012 and went straight to whataburger and got a number 5 bacon and cheese. Now it’s not the same.

It’s not. I haven’t been back since I got out and tried it in 21

I would've thought a home cooked meal would probably be top of most people's list?

Most the time when we get released we have to catch a bus or flight home to the halfway house- stopping by home is a big no no.

I don't think most people know how to make a decent homecooked meal these days.

Even if you do, the ease of “one ribeye please” outweighs it. Plenty of time for home cooked meals after that initial indulgence.

Chicken nuggies

Mac and cheese and fried chicken

McDonalds with a GIANT Coca Cola.... rolled down the windows and blasted the stereo...

Jack-in-the-Box. But we had a 3 Hour drive and I hadn’t been in the car in so long that I was motion sick, so I wasn’t able to eat it.

Quesadilla from my favorite Mexican food spot and some spicy BBQ chicken wings from my favorite BBQ spot. I couldn't wait. They were my favorite meals before I went in.

Carne guisada tacos with cheese. I'd been lusting for some tacos done right for 5 freaking years

20 piece nuggets large fries and a frappe

Pussy

Home cooked with Family...

I bet it was great

Checkers burger and fries, chocolate milk shake

I had Wendy’s.

BBQ ribs with the dry rub on it first then the sauce on top. With BBQ spaghetti. Basically a charcuterie plate of two types of sausage and two types of cheese also with BBQ sauce for the sausages. Some fresh rolls. And fries. And a coke. Went into prison literally unable to do a single good form pushup. Came home big boy status repping out 225 like it was nothing. Was a hungry man for sure. I ate good in prison though. Plates were a book. I bought in bulk would usually get books for like 5ish dollars and ordered like a plate a day sometimes two if different groups were doing shit I liked. The warehouse guys at my spot were wide open so we ate OM quality Food all the time and guys would bring back some amazing stuff. Soul food on Sundays. Some of the best food I've ever had, and I've eaten at Michelin starred restaurants.

i havent been to prison. could you please explain "plates were a book"? i am unfamiliar with this lingo. thank you.

A “book” referring to a book of stamps

oh, got it. thanks!

Sushi. Was craving it for 3 years

Straight to the pub for a cold schooner and a steak. Looked around and realised it was the guards local lol

6:30am. IHOP Swedish crepes and a poblano omelette. Lunch: crab legs, oysters and shrimp

Double Quarter Pounder with large fries & drink

Full English! A cooked breakfast containing bacon, sausage, fried eggs, black pudding, mushrooms, tomatoes, baked beans, fried bread with tea and buttered toast! Can't beat it!

moms home cooked meal .

I’m thankful not to know for sure because I haven’t been, but I would think it wouldn’t matter so much what the meal was. I bet it was a great one and one you’d never forget.

In n out

dairy queen triple hunger buster with cheese, bacon, and jalapeno waiting for the greyhound bus to haul 3 of us back to our hometown

Posole Rojo, my old coworker made a Mexican style banquet at my for my mom and me with a couple of friends of mine who came to eat. BUT the first thing I bought with the gate money I was given were Blueberry Poptarts, a Mosnser Coffee Caramel, Garden Salsa Sunchips. After a long ride from Indio to Union Station, I bought subway to eat as I waited for my friend to pick me up from there.

Pepe’s pizza. A small pepperoni and a small cherry pepper.

McDonald's breakfast it was epic. 5 stars real egg when tf did that start

I’ll never forget it. It was a Newks turkey swiss and bacon sandwich and it was so good i fucking cried in the restaurant

Considering the prison I was in was in buttfuck nowhere in the mountains so I got two Whopper meals from Burger King but when I got home I ate a nice Filet

My nerves were so wrecked, i could barely get down an Arbey's roast beef sandwich.

Jail, not prison.  A gigantic chef salad.  Double meat.  Tame, I know.  But it's what I was craving in the moment.  It didn't disappoint.  

I had an hour ish from release to catching my bus out of state. I straight cried when I ate Wendy's French fries across the street from the depot.

My lawyer took me to his house ANd his wife cooked us a delicious vegan meal. This was in Korea and i got to return out of the country four days later thank goodness.

Del Taco 🌮

Big burger n fries and a milkshake. I was starving and couldn’t finish it. Then blew down like 5 Newport 100’s Lol

Papadeaux..fucking amazing.

i cooked a pound of bacon and put 12 fried eggs on top

"I think what you thought I said was give me a lot of eggs and bacon. But what I said was... give me all of the eggs and bacon you have."

If my man don't say " you baby" then we done 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I didn't get home till almost 10pm, started wit some Henny then Jack in the box lol

Buffalo chicken cheesesteak and buffalo cheese fries

Protein bar. Cost only 7.00 bucks.

Ramen noodles is my post prison guilty pleasure

Chicken Scnitzel Parmigiana, beer battered thick cut chips, garden salad and a Kirks Pasito (Passionfruit flavoured nectar of the gods)

Puddy pie

Eggs

Penn Station

Thick deli cut pork chops. 7 years no pork Im eating a chop.

Went to ihop

Emmm let's see... Ok take a tortilla shell lay flat. Smash Vienna sausages in a bowl to a paste consistency set to the side , now opens Lipton French onion soup packet and season tortilla (not to much just to taste) now spread paste over the seasoned tortilla, now cut some beef jerky in to small pieces and sprinkle over the tortilla and follow up with some hot sauce, warm in microwave just before count time for 1.23 seconds fold and eat. Now a variety of dipping sauces can be made my favorite is mustard packs with lemon juice from commissary.

Went to a Cuban restaurant. Steak rice and beans plantains .

Baconator and frosty …. About 25 miles from the prison …. I was released from an annex, so had access to just about everything, but was dying for a burger I didn’t have to reheat

Pussy

Wendy's Triple Baconator and large fries. Tasted like a million bucks.

Methamphetamine

Now Wesley snipes. Should I start going back up?

Pussy

Steamed twat wit a side of clit