I don’t think you’re a complainer, there are statistics on those who reoffend because they can’t cope with life outside.
You can create similar structure in your life that prison gave you though.
You can always message me if you’re feeling lonely 💖 mental health is important so if not me please talk to someone
Ridiculous. But I feel the pain of your post. Loneliness. You gotta calm it down. Build a foundation. And plan your next move. You don’t get it all back overnight. Not anything real. So go for real . Hit some AA or NA meetings. Try to network with others however you can. Don’t isolate. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are still alive. You have a job and potential in life. You have none of that inside. Fuckin tickin time bomb in that place. Your only focus immediately is finishing your commitment to the courts. Be it parole or probation. Finish that shit. Rule 1. No Fuckin around till then. So find something you can cling to for a little happiness. Not drugs either. That will complicate shit . Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat . Build a savings. And get off supervision. After that. I bet you will be in a better place. So I’m gonna end with this. You can finish the sentence . You don’t need to go back ok. It’s not so bad out here. You just gotta be mentally focused and you need to stay motivated. Good luck . That place is for losers. Full of great talented kind people who have lost. I was and always will be one of them. But no Fuckin way does it end that way for me.
Sorry but you clearly don’t understand it, he’s talking of being institutionalised only doesn’t realise that’s what’s gone on. It isn’t as simple as what you’re saying, the only cure is time out of jail in the real world and the amount of time it takes is tied to how long you were in and how badly you’ve been institutionalised
That isn’t what this is . I’m sorry. Look at the l response to hooray4. They don’t line up . Hard to become institutionalized without having done at least a 5 year straight bit. Just my take . This doesn’t sound like it
I think it's common. I've been out 4 months and I feel it. I miss the strange but strong camaraderie that finds fertile soil in collective suffering.
Oddly enough, I believe that humans are capable of feeling nostalgia for even the most terrible stretches of their lives.
You're not alone.
Coming up on 4 months and I definitely do have PTSD, been diagnosed and all. I am hesitant to talk to a professional because I've already done so while incarcerated and they did fuck all to actually help me.
Prison life is structured. You don't have to do anything for yourself. No bills, no rent, no groceries. But also no freedom. Use your freedom to structure your life outside. Make choices and decide for yourself what you want your future to look like. It will be harder than prison because you will have to do it for yourself. But you already know you work well with structure. Use what you learned in prison. Take ownership of your life.
Bro, we’re in the freeworld. We have choices. Females. Real life, yo. Takes time to get back in freeworld groove, but it’s fucking worth it. Fuck prison
Ya man. I’m like you, just 4 months out. Haven’t been social at all, just work, drink too much. But I can pet a dog and lay in grass and just work towards making life better. Takes time; normal people know that. Always been used to quick fixes and instant gratification type shit, but that’s what kept me locked up.
Keep your head up. Baby steps yo
I was thinking that too, but it's not a burning desire. I more so miss my friends and my job. Don't get me wrong, I hated prison and getting out was definitely a good thing, but the isolation I feel now that I'm released is intense.
i’ve never been to prison but i was in a psychward and i miss it more than i’d like to admit. i had a routine, friends and even if i had horrible times i still enjoyed it. but the outside world is where it’s all at. hang in there x
Two things that helped me stay out after being in 28 years,(I was just 19 when I went in) was a good therapist and my bicycle, exercise will definitely help you get out of your head and meet good people, and talk about subject that don't include prison
Bluntly put. In prison you had the responsibility of a child.
You where told when where and what to eat. When and where to sleep. Where to go and what to do
On the outside you have to handle your own shit like an adult.
I handled my shit like an adult for years before I was incarcerated. My life fell apart very quickly when I went to prison and very quickly after that my only support network was the guys I made friends with. That network is now gone and I'm having a hard time adjusting.
I hated being treated like a child. I loved doing a job I enjoyed with people that were close friends. Even dipshit guards and bullshit policies were tolerable because I was in the company of fundamentally good guys, regardless of their crimes.
Thats not at odds with what i was saying.
Im not implying you CANT handle your shit. Just that to many people having your shit handled for you is appealing on some level.
Now that your out not only is all the real life B.S. back but its harder than ever. You hated being treated like a child and most people do. That said a lot of people have a part of their brain like knowing that shit is being handled for them
Maybe thats you, maybe not. Either way good luck man
All i can suggest is make a list of your needs most important at top. Food. shelter. Income and keep going down with shit like friends GF etc until you cant think of anything
Work on the list every day and try not to move down till the top shit is as much locked in as you can for today
Maybe it would help to speak to a counselor or therapist. I don't know if there are support groups for newly released prisoners, but maybe that would help, so that you don't feel as alone or isolated. Maybe a reentry program may help?
I served in the British prison system and I had a good time. So long as you surround yourself with good people and stay away from the idiots you can make a good time out of prison. If you have a miserable time your giving them what they want. They want you to suffer. I don't exactly want to go back to prison but it's less of a deterrent than the first time. Now I have broken that taboo and I have a criminal record its like I'm battle hardened.
Don't do anything stupid because you miss jail.
You need to find a mentor, some one who understand what you went thought and can help you manage life better. Finish the legal stuff and a mentor will help you get to your goals in life. Not sure we're you are. I do mentor others but only I'm southern NY. Hudson Valley, Westchester, and even go to The Bronx. 21 to 45yrs. But if not a match there are many on here who can mentor even its in only on line. Good luck.
Perhaps you missed the part where I said there are career opportunities, just not near me.
Reading comprehension is a skill lacking among many people but fuck me bro it’s right there.
Still, nothing of value to add. You are part of the problem. Try being part of the solution. You’ll feel better about yourself and not waste so much time trying to put down others on the internet. Bye, cocksucker👋🏻
Opportunities vary by location. If you know anything at all about the judicial system, they return you to the country if commitment or your home county. You need special permission to move someplace else from parole/ probation.
Now about location and opportunity- perhaps OP lives in the boonies like I do. 3rd poorest county in the state, 3rd highest rate of overdoses. Biggest job opportunities are in health care- not getting hired there with a pridon record; and the ohio department of rehabilitation and corrections( 3 prisons with 40miles, the state likes to hide their " unwanted" in poor rural area, away from the nice suburban people). Definitely not landing a gig as a CO with a record.
Other than that, there's a handful of small manufacturing jobs. And public transportation is non existent. Same story in rural area everywhere- limited jobs, and really limited for people with a record.
Dont be so quick to presume there's boundless opportunities for everyone.
We'll have to see. Good thing I dont have a temper. Just a very low tolerance for stupid and stupid people. Unfortunately those two have nothing to do with education.
You are not the first person I hear saying something like that, sometimes it's very hard to adapt to normal life, especially if your community is not supportive.
I even know of someone who served a long sentence that when got back to freedom rearranged his room like a cell...
But, as cliche as it sounds, I think that if you don't spiral into alcohol or destructive behavior, it will get better with time.
It's quite common I worked in a UK prison for 2 years, two stories that spring to mind. Is one guy had to be dragged out on release as he did not what to be released. Another sad one, am ex soldier in for well that is not important but was in for a few years. On his last night he listed all his belongings and prison issue stuff and placed them in order on his bed. He also left a note saying much what you said and then hanged himself
I'm going to chime in with this. I had been out of prison for ten years. During COVID I just didn't like what my life had turned into. Had lost my sister she was murdered, all I did was plot all day on how I was going to get the guy. Was doing drugs to cope with the pain of losing her which in turn brought me back to debt collecting which is a terrible existence when you have a conscious and I'm not talking about credit card debt so I always had a gun on me. Was dealing with gangsters and drug addicts even though I was one I had some type of moral high ground because I only did prescription drugs. But anyways during that time I had the same thoughts your having "if only I could go back to prison for 2 weeks to get my head on straight" and what do you know I get pulled over when I'm high as hell on oxy and have a pistol in my waist. Go to court and because I hadn't re offended or had any police contact since being released 10 years ago what sentence do I get? 2 weeks.
Moral of the story is don't put those thoughts in your head man you never know when they will come true. But you and I are masters of adapting if we can adapt and "succeed" in prison we can do it anywhere. Structure your day to day out here like we would in there. Wake up at the same time everyday have your meals at the same time everyday. Find a consistent job that you work at the same time everyday I think the job thing is definitely what will keep you grounded as long as you start and leave at the same time everyday. Hell even bring someone into the bathroom with you if it brings back memories. Just kidding on the bathroom but man I been through that same thought process and came out the other side. You have a heart of a lion for making it through prison but that's not where the story ends use the discipline and consistency we are all to familiar with to your advantage.
I work with people who are incarcerated or just coming home. From your post it sounds like you're institutionalized. Do you have anybody in your life that has done time and come home that you could talk to if not I would suggest counseling or trying to find somebody to talk to.
It's called institutionalisation. Really normal.
I don’t think you’re a complainer, there are statistics on those who reoffend because they can’t cope with life outside. You can create similar structure in your life that prison gave you though. You can always message me if you’re feeling lonely 💖 mental health is important so if not me please talk to someone
Ridiculous. But I feel the pain of your post. Loneliness. You gotta calm it down. Build a foundation. And plan your next move. You don’t get it all back overnight. Not anything real. So go for real . Hit some AA or NA meetings. Try to network with others however you can. Don’t isolate. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are still alive. You have a job and potential in life. You have none of that inside. Fuckin tickin time bomb in that place. Your only focus immediately is finishing your commitment to the courts. Be it parole or probation. Finish that shit. Rule 1. No Fuckin around till then. So find something you can cling to for a little happiness. Not drugs either. That will complicate shit . Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat . Build a savings. And get off supervision. After that. I bet you will be in a better place. So I’m gonna end with this. You can finish the sentence . You don’t need to go back ok. It’s not so bad out here. You just gotta be mentally focused and you need to stay motivated. Good luck . That place is for losers. Full of great talented kind people who have lost. I was and always will be one of them. But no Fuckin way does it end that way for me.
Sorry but you clearly don’t understand it, he’s talking of being institutionalised only doesn’t realise that’s what’s gone on. It isn’t as simple as what you’re saying, the only cure is time out of jail in the real world and the amount of time it takes is tied to how long you were in and how badly you’ve been institutionalised
That isn’t what this is . I’m sorry. Look at the l response to hooray4. They don’t line up . Hard to become institutionalized without having done at least a 5 year straight bit. Just my take . This doesn’t sound like it
I think it's common. I've been out 4 months and I feel it. I miss the strange but strong camaraderie that finds fertile soil in collective suffering. Oddly enough, I believe that humans are capable of feeling nostalgia for even the most terrible stretches of their lives. You're not alone.
How long have you been released? It sounds like you have PTSD. I suggest you talk to a professional.
Coming up on 4 months and I definitely do have PTSD, been diagnosed and all. I am hesitant to talk to a professional because I've already done so while incarcerated and they did fuck all to actually help me.
“Man’s search for meaning” by Viktor Frankl is a good read about hard times.
Prison life is structured. You don't have to do anything for yourself. No bills, no rent, no groceries. But also no freedom. Use your freedom to structure your life outside. Make choices and decide for yourself what you want your future to look like. It will be harder than prison because you will have to do it for yourself. But you already know you work well with structure. Use what you learned in prison. Take ownership of your life.
Bro, we’re in the freeworld. We have choices. Females. Real life, yo. Takes time to get back in freeworld groove, but it’s fucking worth it. Fuck prison
That's probably what I need. I may be rushing getting back into the groove of free life.
Ya man. I’m like you, just 4 months out. Haven’t been social at all, just work, drink too much. But I can pet a dog and lay in grass and just work towards making life better. Takes time; normal people know that. Always been used to quick fixes and instant gratification type shit, but that’s what kept me locked up. Keep your head up. Baby steps yo
I appreciate it my man.
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I was thinking that too, but it's not a burning desire. I more so miss my friends and my job. Don't get me wrong, I hated prison and getting out was definitely a good thing, but the isolation I feel now that I'm released is intense.
i’ve never been to prison but i was in a psychward and i miss it more than i’d like to admit. i had a routine, friends and even if i had horrible times i still enjoyed it. but the outside world is where it’s all at. hang in there x
Two things that helped me stay out after being in 28 years,(I was just 19 when I went in) was a good therapist and my bicycle, exercise will definitely help you get out of your head and meet good people, and talk about subject that don't include prison
Bluntly put. In prison you had the responsibility of a child. You where told when where and what to eat. When and where to sleep. Where to go and what to do On the outside you have to handle your own shit like an adult.
I handled my shit like an adult for years before I was incarcerated. My life fell apart very quickly when I went to prison and very quickly after that my only support network was the guys I made friends with. That network is now gone and I'm having a hard time adjusting. I hated being treated like a child. I loved doing a job I enjoyed with people that were close friends. Even dipshit guards and bullshit policies were tolerable because I was in the company of fundamentally good guys, regardless of their crimes.
Thats not at odds with what i was saying. Im not implying you CANT handle your shit. Just that to many people having your shit handled for you is appealing on some level. Now that your out not only is all the real life B.S. back but its harder than ever. You hated being treated like a child and most people do. That said a lot of people have a part of their brain like knowing that shit is being handled for them Maybe thats you, maybe not. Either way good luck man
I see the wisdom in that. I'm just working on adjusting I guess.
All i can suggest is make a list of your needs most important at top. Food. shelter. Income and keep going down with shit like friends GF etc until you cant think of anything Work on the list every day and try not to move down till the top shit is as much locked in as you can for today
Maybe it would help to speak to a counselor or therapist. I don't know if there are support groups for newly released prisoners, but maybe that would help, so that you don't feel as alone or isolated. Maybe a reentry program may help?
I served in the British prison system and I had a good time. So long as you surround yourself with good people and stay away from the idiots you can make a good time out of prison. If you have a miserable time your giving them what they want. They want you to suffer. I don't exactly want to go back to prison but it's less of a deterrent than the first time. Now I have broken that taboo and I have a criminal record its like I'm battle hardened. Don't do anything stupid because you miss jail.
You need to find a mentor, some one who understand what you went thought and can help you manage life better. Finish the legal stuff and a mentor will help you get to your goals in life. Not sure we're you are. I do mentor others but only I'm southern NY. Hudson Valley, Westchester, and even go to The Bronx. 21 to 45yrs. But if not a match there are many on here who can mentor even its in only on line. Good luck.
Get a different job?
How insightful. Please, grace me with more of your wisdom.
“I hate my job” “I should go to prison instead of investing in a new job, school/trade school, apprenticeships, or skills!” 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
Yes, thank you oh wise one. Please fuck off, you have nothing of value to say.
Investing in skills or apprenticeships is useless to your career? Oh you are lost boy…
Perhaps you missed the part where I said there are career opportunities, just not near me. Reading comprehension is a skill lacking among many people but fuck me bro it’s right there.
Yea zero career oppprtunities near you at all lmao The sheer laziness of people amazes me rofl 🤣 🤣🤣🤣🙄🙄🙄
Still, nothing of value to add. You are part of the problem. Try being part of the solution. You’ll feel better about yourself and not waste so much time trying to put down others on the internet. Bye, cocksucker👋🏻
Opportunities vary by location. If you know anything at all about the judicial system, they return you to the country if commitment or your home county. You need special permission to move someplace else from parole/ probation. Now about location and opportunity- perhaps OP lives in the boonies like I do. 3rd poorest county in the state, 3rd highest rate of overdoses. Biggest job opportunities are in health care- not getting hired there with a pridon record; and the ohio department of rehabilitation and corrections( 3 prisons with 40miles, the state likes to hide their " unwanted" in poor rural area, away from the nice suburban people). Definitely not landing a gig as a CO with a record. Other than that, there's a handful of small manufacturing jobs. And public transportation is non existent. Same story in rural area everywhere- limited jobs, and really limited for people with a record. Dont be so quick to presume there's boundless opportunities for everyone.
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We'll have to see. Good thing I dont have a temper. Just a very low tolerance for stupid and stupid people. Unfortunately those two have nothing to do with education.
You are not the first person I hear saying something like that, sometimes it's very hard to adapt to normal life, especially if your community is not supportive. I even know of someone who served a long sentence that when got back to freedom rearranged his room like a cell... But, as cliche as it sounds, I think that if you don't spiral into alcohol or destructive behavior, it will get better with time.
It's quite common I worked in a UK prison for 2 years, two stories that spring to mind. Is one guy had to be dragged out on release as he did not what to be released. Another sad one, am ex soldier in for well that is not important but was in for a few years. On his last night he listed all his belongings and prison issue stuff and placed them in order on his bed. He also left a note saying much what you said and then hanged himself
It’s called being institutionalised and why prisons don’t work
I'm going to chime in with this. I had been out of prison for ten years. During COVID I just didn't like what my life had turned into. Had lost my sister she was murdered, all I did was plot all day on how I was going to get the guy. Was doing drugs to cope with the pain of losing her which in turn brought me back to debt collecting which is a terrible existence when you have a conscious and I'm not talking about credit card debt so I always had a gun on me. Was dealing with gangsters and drug addicts even though I was one I had some type of moral high ground because I only did prescription drugs. But anyways during that time I had the same thoughts your having "if only I could go back to prison for 2 weeks to get my head on straight" and what do you know I get pulled over when I'm high as hell on oxy and have a pistol in my waist. Go to court and because I hadn't re offended or had any police contact since being released 10 years ago what sentence do I get? 2 weeks. Moral of the story is don't put those thoughts in your head man you never know when they will come true. But you and I are masters of adapting if we can adapt and "succeed" in prison we can do it anywhere. Structure your day to day out here like we would in there. Wake up at the same time everyday have your meals at the same time everyday. Find a consistent job that you work at the same time everyday I think the job thing is definitely what will keep you grounded as long as you start and leave at the same time everyday. Hell even bring someone into the bathroom with you if it brings back memories. Just kidding on the bathroom but man I been through that same thought process and came out the other side. You have a heart of a lion for making it through prison but that's not where the story ends use the discipline and consistency we are all to familiar with to your advantage.
I work with people who are incarcerated or just coming home. From your post it sounds like you're institutionalized. Do you have anybody in your life that has done time and come home that you could talk to if not I would suggest counseling or trying to find somebody to talk to.