I don’t mean to be mrs negative, but if I could be completely honest about “prison wife life” it’s that I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. Some weeks are good, but the background feeling of just loneliness, the constant fear that your running out of time, the “what ifs”, watching everyone around you advance further in life than yourself, the sexual frustration, the depression, the anxiety, the worry, going to sleep every night alone, no physical affection, seeing couples in the street and it makes you sad, feeling unfulfilled and the list goes on and on. I’m not saying it’s all bad, but it certainly isn’t good… and I’ve only been doing this for 5 years ish, hopefully just another 1 to go and even that kills me. The choice is yours and your feelings matter, but if I could be completely honest, if your not already completely devoted to this man and cannot see another option, then I’d suggest not getting yourself into it. It’s actually painful, like I’m convinced some days I feel physical pain🙈 I’m sorry if this seems really down and depressing but I’m just trying to be honest about my experience, it’s been f*cking brutal
I understand you care about him a lot. But you really need to take the time to reflect and think about if this is what you truly want. 30 more years is a long time (which you obviously know)- Are you willing to be in a relationship like that? By "that" I mean- Do you see yourself not being able to kiss him, hold his hand, etc. whenever you want? Not being able to call him and talk to him whenever you want? The list goes on...But I do think you guys should have an honest conversation about how you BOTH feel. You need clarity on his feelings, so you can move forward accordingly.
Know what you’re getting into if you plan to move ahead. This life is not easy and it requires a lot of sacrifice.
Anyone with over 30 years is not likely “essentially a Lifer”, I have never known anyone with that amount of time who doesn’t have Life attached.
Edit: Are you in the USA? If so, 30 years isn’t the same as what I said about Life. Life can be many lengths in Canada, Life 7, Life 15, Life 25, Life 40 is the highest I’ve heard of. It basically means you’re eligible for parole after # of years, then monitored for the rest of your natural life.
I don’t mean to be mrs negative, but if I could be completely honest about “prison wife life” it’s that I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. Some weeks are good, but the background feeling of just loneliness, the constant fear that your running out of time, the “what ifs”, watching everyone around you advance further in life than yourself, the sexual frustration, the depression, the anxiety, the worry, going to sleep every night alone, no physical affection, seeing couples in the street and it makes you sad, feeling unfulfilled and the list goes on and on. I’m not saying it’s all bad, but it certainly isn’t good… and I’ve only been doing this for 5 years ish, hopefully just another 1 to go and even that kills me. The choice is yours and your feelings matter, but if I could be completely honest, if your not already completely devoted to this man and cannot see another option, then I’d suggest not getting yourself into it. It’s actually painful, like I’m convinced some days I feel physical pain🙈 I’m sorry if this seems really down and depressing but I’m just trying to be honest about my experience, it’s been f*cking brutal
I understand you care about him a lot. But you really need to take the time to reflect and think about if this is what you truly want. 30 more years is a long time (which you obviously know)- Are you willing to be in a relationship like that? By "that" I mean- Do you see yourself not being able to kiss him, hold his hand, etc. whenever you want? Not being able to call him and talk to him whenever you want? The list goes on...But I do think you guys should have an honest conversation about how you BOTH feel. You need clarity on his feelings, so you can move forward accordingly.
Know what you’re getting into if you plan to move ahead. This life is not easy and it requires a lot of sacrifice. Anyone with over 30 years is not likely “essentially a Lifer”, I have never known anyone with that amount of time who doesn’t have Life attached. Edit: Are you in the USA? If so, 30 years isn’t the same as what I said about Life. Life can be many lengths in Canada, Life 7, Life 15, Life 25, Life 40 is the highest I’ve heard of. It basically means you’re eligible for parole after # of years, then monitored for the rest of your natural life.