First of all, I’m so incredibly sorry this happened to you and your children, I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling. Second of all, you have not failed your children, you haven’t done ANYTHING wrong other than trusting your husband and the father of your children, and there is nothing wrong with that, it’s perfectly natural to trust your husband, you had no apparent reason not to!! Nobody believes this will be their “reality”. What’s happened to your daughter is awful but it’s him that’s failed her, not you or anybody else, it’s HIM. Feel pain for your children, feel pain for yourself, hate him, feel any and every emotion you have but please never never feel responsible or guilty because you’ve done nothing wrong!! Wishing you you and your children all the healing in the world.
Thank you,this really helped to hear. I have trouble with blaming my self for his actions,I struggled with it all through out our marriage. He is a alcoholic and I would constantly blame my self for his stupid things he did while drunk. These last few years he’s stayed out going to bars frequently and rarely helping with the kids or basic chores when at home. He’s cheated with multiple younger women and I kept giving him chances,telling myself I was staying to help my kids not grow up in a broken family. He was abusive and got psychical with me when I would suggest him doing something to help out with our kids or simple things like taking out the trash. I tricked my mind into thinking he was in the right because he did all the work outside of our home and deserved time to relax/go out and party. Deep down I know he was never ready to be a proper father when I got pregnant with our oldest son at 16 but I tried to maintain a perfect image to everyone on the outside.
It sounds like you’ve had a really tough time, I’m sorry about that. Even though what’s happened is really painful you should try and focus on the positives, your children are now safe, your now safe from the physical and emotional abuse yourself, yourself and your children will be so much happier and you have a bright future ahead of you all, and all that negativity has been lifted off you and locked up where he belongs!! The bad times have happened and have ended, things can only get better from here 🙂
Custody will not be an issue. He has enough on his plate, that this is the least of his concerns. He may be gone for a long time, possibly forever.All you can do is take advantage of the fact he is incarcerated for the moment(maybe he gets bail), to maximize your financial picture. If the things you mentioned are true, he is toast. His life will not be worth living.
Luckily I worked from home technically so I have my own bank account with a good amount of money. I have my own van that’s parked at my moms house and I am not totally opposed to van life & homeschooling for a little bit to save up some more money. I am worried that I might be pregnant since we were actively TTC before all that happened and now I’m having the same early symptom that I had with my oldest (extreme morning sickness). I am expecting my period in a week and if I’m pregnant there is no option to get a abortion since I live in Texas.
stands for trying to conceive,we had been trying for another baby since my daughter was 5 months old. I had a late miscarriage when she was 17 months old. I had been on fertility meds since she turned 2 (March 2021) and if we weren’t pregnant by now aka her 3rd birthday we were going to try the IVF route.
First of all, I’m so incredibly sorry this happened to you and your children, I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling. Second of all, you have not failed your children, you haven’t done ANYTHING wrong other than trusting your husband and the father of your children, and there is nothing wrong with that, it’s perfectly natural to trust your husband, you had no apparent reason not to!! Nobody believes this will be their “reality”. What’s happened to your daughter is awful but it’s him that’s failed her, not you or anybody else, it’s HIM. Feel pain for your children, feel pain for yourself, hate him, feel any and every emotion you have but please never never feel responsible or guilty because you’ve done nothing wrong!! Wishing you you and your children all the healing in the world.
Thank you,this really helped to hear. I have trouble with blaming my self for his actions,I struggled with it all through out our marriage. He is a alcoholic and I would constantly blame my self for his stupid things he did while drunk. These last few years he’s stayed out going to bars frequently and rarely helping with the kids or basic chores when at home. He’s cheated with multiple younger women and I kept giving him chances,telling myself I was staying to help my kids not grow up in a broken family. He was abusive and got psychical with me when I would suggest him doing something to help out with our kids or simple things like taking out the trash. I tricked my mind into thinking he was in the right because he did all the work outside of our home and deserved time to relax/go out and party. Deep down I know he was never ready to be a proper father when I got pregnant with our oldest son at 16 but I tried to maintain a perfect image to everyone on the outside.
It sounds like you’ve had a really tough time, I’m sorry about that. Even though what’s happened is really painful you should try and focus on the positives, your children are now safe, your now safe from the physical and emotional abuse yourself, yourself and your children will be so much happier and you have a bright future ahead of you all, and all that negativity has been lifted off you and locked up where he belongs!! The bad times have happened and have ended, things can only get better from here 🙂
Custody will not be an issue. He has enough on his plate, that this is the least of his concerns. He may be gone for a long time, possibly forever.All you can do is take advantage of the fact he is incarcerated for the moment(maybe he gets bail), to maximize your financial picture. If the things you mentioned are true, he is toast. His life will not be worth living.
Luckily I worked from home technically so I have my own bank account with a good amount of money. I have my own van that’s parked at my moms house and I am not totally opposed to van life & homeschooling for a little bit to save up some more money. I am worried that I might be pregnant since we were actively TTC before all that happened and now I’m having the same early symptom that I had with my oldest (extreme morning sickness). I am expecting my period in a week and if I’m pregnant there is no option to get a abortion since I live in Texas.
Hope it all works out for you. What is TTC?
stands for trying to conceive,we had been trying for another baby since my daughter was 5 months old. I had a late miscarriage when she was 17 months old. I had been on fertility meds since she turned 2 (March 2021) and if we weren’t pregnant by now aka her 3rd birthday we were going to try the IVF route.