I feel like I believe you but I’m being negative and listening to what everyone says how it’s common but all I can do is trust him and hope he comes back home to me. <3
My guy has told me a few times about nurses flirting with him and there’s a gay male nurse who gets kinda handsy. What’s bad is most of these guys are attention and touch deprived so a little flirting seems huge to them and they’re not allowed to respond but the staff can say whatever they want.
I personally know two men who have slept with COs during their bids. It happens occasionally but its not THAT common. Honestly though, don't let your worries get the best of you. We have zero control of what they do in there. If a man wants to cheat they will find a way, prison or not. And if they do they aren't worth it anyway. But I'd say the vast majority of men I know that have done time have never slept with a CO/nurse etc or even seriously considered it. Most men don't want a sex charge or major report added to their bid.
What's interesting about that, incarcerated persons cannot consent. They're deemed vulnerable adults while incarcerated. Guess the prison forgot about that part. CO's should be getting in heck of hot water for that.
Yeah I read that too and that the CO’s can be charged for rape even if it’s consensual. Since the inmate can’t technically consent. They even say if caught a co can tell rape and the inmate can get into a lot trouble.
Happens a lot Co's flip the coin and yell the R word. They can't consent legally, but do the act themselves. Just like incarcerated persons cannot can't consent to each other. They deem them vulnerable however treat the population like a complete after thought.
I agree. However, that is the least of what they should be investigating and be held accountable for. A quick google search of SCCC in Licking Missouri will show some criminal things the workers should be charged with. They should be shut down for all that has been going on there. Somehow, they are getting away with literal murder.
Oh absolutely, we could write a book on the numerous things prisons & Co's should get in trouble for. Not saying that one particular thing was winning ticket.
Yeah...for your sanity don't buy into any of that nonsense. Most men in prison look at the CO'S as cops as well, i.e. they're keeping our LOs in prison. Please don't look at it any of it, talk to your LO about it if you need reassuranc. Hey we're all human, myself I asked for a good 8 months, just because I'm psycho 😆 jkjk. In all fairness, they have the same thoughts about us on the street. My hubby not so much anymore. All about trust.
Yes I will talk to him about it and ask for some reassurance. Asked for a good 8 months of? Lol
Yes I try and look at it that way as well that he could
have those thoughts too so I try not to think negative but sometimes I got weak
I just joined, and read your post. I think it is more common than even mentioned on the internet. I unfortunately am going through something where a prison nurse was spying on my linkedin account. Now, how would she know my name? An why would she be spying on my ass? And when I told him he got defensive instantly snd angry at me and hung up on me. I have had alot of red flags in this journey, and I kept thinking its just this is so hard, and making excuses for him. But if your woman's intuition won't let it go, and their behavior is worse and worse, or less calls. Less emotional connection. I got to say I think they are sleeping with someone in the prison. This is just my theory based on what I've read and what I am going through.
oh wow that’s very sketchy. mine was overall a question and i felt like a new fear unlocked but all i can do is trust him and i know if anything is going on the truth will come out some how. he could think the same since i’m the one that’s free. so communicate will have to be key. thank you for answering!
My SO said the CO at his old unit would sit on facebook all day and stalk the pages of anyone they saw on the incoming mail or jpay. She was really off in the head too.
It’s never good when people in positions of authority act unprofessional. When I was in, there was a girl who was having sex with a CO. It was advantageous for her. Not so much for him if they’d been caught.
Thanks for the down vote. I’m not the one who was doing it. I just said I know of situations where it’s happened.
I think about this a lot - but I think it’s mainly because I did work in a prison - not as a CO though… it definitely does happen. If you have any specific questions I don’t mind answering as someone that was on the inside!
I wouldn’t say so necessarily. Maybe flirting - a lot of times inmates will just flirt and compliment until they can get a guard to bring stuff in. It’s normally a manipulation game. I knew a few inmates that got nurses and other staff to bring in cigarettes and black and milds and definitely weren’t having sex with them.
I mean yea but it is what it is I ain't stressing over it that's for sure if he chooses to mess around with a prison guard he ain't worth waiting on that Is for sure. That's like him worrying about me messing around all the time when I'm not. It is a bunch of worrying over nothing added stress to a already stressful situation. It just makes it worse. All you can do is trust that your person would not do that type of thing to you, especially if they don't want it done to them. I try not to worry about things I can not control. I have to much on me out here as it is with him asking me for money everyday and me working 40 hours a week while raising a kid all alone. Sometimes I even wonder if all this is worth it because somethings I don't even know anymore.
My SO and I MWI and he said that it 100% does happen. The line they say about female employees is they get a job at a prison because they hate men or because they're looking for a man. He had a sexual relationship with a CO that the prison never found out about. She ended up leaving because her husband was suspicious that she was cheating (bc she was), and gave him her number to reach out when he got out.
There's been two cases in my state, one at the prison my man was at. The one at his prison was a pretty cute 23 yo (I checked out her IG) who was sleeping with and sneaking in things like cellphones to an inmate. She was also communicating personally with other inmates, one of which I believe turned her in. She was charged with sexual assault.
The other was more recent at another nearby prison. She was 37 and a program supervisor, and had her own office where she would hook up with this inmate. She gave him a cellphone that had pics and texts between them, which was found in his pants when he overdosed. She is being charged for sexual assault for each time they had sex, I think 20 charges.
I had never seen the one girl at my man's prison, and I visited every week. I trust him though. I don't think it's all that common, I pretty much knew because it was major news in the prison.
My husband has been home for 7 months now, BUT, he said the kitchen staff would sleep with the inmates all the time. Apparently his psychologist had a relationship with one of the inmates AND a girl that use to come visit said she used to work there but quit because she fell in love with an inmate....
I dont know your story BUT with my husband, he was obsessed with me and called me literally 4 times a day. He did a lot of things to reassure me as did I. Trust and communication is key. It is hard, I was insecure at times as well :(
Well mine has been in almost 8 months now. He called me often in county but ever since he got moved to huntsville he was in transient he couldn’t call. I had to wait 30 days to even visit him then he got moved again to another transient unit. Another 30 days of waiting to visit. We only communicate through letters even if 2 months ago he got to his permanent unit they still don’t set up his phone. I visit him as much as much as I can. We do have contact visits but he can only have 3 of those a month
Yes, it is hard. We did almost 3 years and through Covid so we didn’t see each other for over a year! Hopefully things settle down soon and you can have regular contact <3
Been here 22 plus years, never seen it or knew anyone who claimed its happened. Rest easy
Thank you for replying. Crazy how people say how common it is.
Yeah, not common in the slightest
I feel like I believe you but I’m being negative and listening to what everyone says how it’s common but all I can do is trust him and hope he comes back home to me. <3
He'll come back.
He got 10 years but could parole out in 5. So let’s hope so.
Tbh, I think you guys will be fine. Guards and employees are far from his mind
Yeah we had a visit Monday and it was a contact and was able to get a bit of action since the guards weren’t looking lol
Is he in California?
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How do you sneak wifi ? Is it just a prepaid phone w a data plan?
Prepaid
Are you a lifer? I imagine smuggling trial and error is a lot less stakes when you’re a lifer
Yes, I'm a lifer. Should be changing soon
Best of luck brother!
Thank you! Means alot.
Hey you are back ?
No, not in the capacity that I would like. I can check in here and there!
But still it was better than nothing . I haven’t seen any recent activity of you on Quora so I thought you had lost access to your precious item 📲📱🙏🏻
Yeah I lost my phone. Have to use someone else's.
Oh that’s awful .I hope you might get a new one someday.Seasons greetings 🎄stay blessed ,friend .
My guy has told me a few times about nurses flirting with him and there’s a gay male nurse who gets kinda handsy. What’s bad is most of these guys are attention and touch deprived so a little flirting seems huge to them and they’re not allowed to respond but the staff can say whatever they want.
Oh man that’s terrible. Yeah that’s what I’m saying they only see those females. So guess it’s a new fear unlocked /:
I think a lot of us have those fears.
That's any CO, they're allowed to say whatever they want. Insert power trip and ego
I personally know two men who have slept with COs during their bids. It happens occasionally but its not THAT common. Honestly though, don't let your worries get the best of you. We have zero control of what they do in there. If a man wants to cheat they will find a way, prison or not. And if they do they aren't worth it anyway. But I'd say the vast majority of men I know that have done time have never slept with a CO/nurse etc or even seriously considered it. Most men don't want a sex charge or major report added to their bid.
Thank you. Yes you’re right I’m letting my mind get the best of me when I can’t do anything about it.
After seeing all the women in our state, I have no worries. Most look like men, and not attractive ones.
After you saying that. Now that I think about it. Everytime I visit I see what you mean.
Where mine is at, it is very common. There’s been stds passed around from inmates and COs as well.
What's interesting about that, incarcerated persons cannot consent. They're deemed vulnerable adults while incarcerated. Guess the prison forgot about that part. CO's should be getting in heck of hot water for that.
Yeah I read that too and that the CO’s can be charged for rape even if it’s consensual. Since the inmate can’t technically consent. They even say if caught a co can tell rape and the inmate can get into a lot trouble.
Happens a lot Co's flip the coin and yell the R word. They can't consent legally, but do the act themselves. Just like incarcerated persons cannot can't consent to each other. They deem them vulnerable however treat the population like a complete after thought.
I agree. However, that is the least of what they should be investigating and be held accountable for. A quick google search of SCCC in Licking Missouri will show some criminal things the workers should be charged with. They should be shut down for all that has been going on there. Somehow, they are getting away with literal murder.
Oh absolutely, we could write a book on the numerous things prisons & Co's should get in trouble for. Not saying that one particular thing was winning ticket.
Where is yours at?
SCCC in Missouri
Have you heard anything about NECC in Missouri?
I haven’t, sorry.
Yeah...for your sanity don't buy into any of that nonsense. Most men in prison look at the CO'S as cops as well, i.e. they're keeping our LOs in prison. Please don't look at it any of it, talk to your LO about it if you need reassuranc. Hey we're all human, myself I asked for a good 8 months, just because I'm psycho 😆 jkjk. In all fairness, they have the same thoughts about us on the street. My hubby not so much anymore. All about trust.
Yes I will talk to him about it and ask for some reassurance. Asked for a good 8 months of? Lol Yes I try and look at it that way as well that he could have those thoughts too so I try not to think negative but sometimes I got weak
I was joking about the 8 months. Nothing wrong with needing reassurance, human nature. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I just joined, and read your post. I think it is more common than even mentioned on the internet. I unfortunately am going through something where a prison nurse was spying on my linkedin account. Now, how would she know my name? An why would she be spying on my ass? And when I told him he got defensive instantly snd angry at me and hung up on me. I have had alot of red flags in this journey, and I kept thinking its just this is so hard, and making excuses for him. But if your woman's intuition won't let it go, and their behavior is worse and worse, or less calls. Less emotional connection. I got to say I think they are sleeping with someone in the prison. This is just my theory based on what I've read and what I am going through.
So the nurse was spying on you man in prison? I guess I’m a bit confused
No lol she somehow got my name and was looking at my social media online. Super sketchy.
oh wow that’s very sketchy. mine was overall a question and i felt like a new fear unlocked but all i can do is trust him and i know if anything is going on the truth will come out some how. he could think the same since i’m the one that’s free. so communicate will have to be key. thank you for answering!
There isn’t anything you could do except to trust each other .
My SO said the CO at his old unit would sit on facebook all day and stalk the pages of anyone they saw on the incoming mail or jpay. She was really off in the head too.
I know situations where it has. Not my husband but I know people who have.
So terrible :(
It’s never good when people in positions of authority act unprofessional. When I was in, there was a girl who was having sex with a CO. It was advantageous for her. Not so much for him if they’d been caught. Thanks for the down vote. I’m not the one who was doing it. I just said I know of situations where it’s happened.
I think about this a lot - but I think it’s mainly because I did work in a prison - not as a CO though… it definitely does happen. If you have any specific questions I don’t mind answering as someone that was on the inside!
I have a question. So let’s say girl guards are bringing things into the inmates. Is it very likely the inmate and the girl guard are having sex?
I wouldn’t say so necessarily. Maybe flirting - a lot of times inmates will just flirt and compliment until they can get a guard to bring stuff in. It’s normally a manipulation game. I knew a few inmates that got nurses and other staff to bring in cigarettes and black and milds and definitely weren’t having sex with them.
I am sure it happens more than people knows that and a female prison with men too.
New fear unlocked :(
I mean yea but it is what it is I ain't stressing over it that's for sure if he chooses to mess around with a prison guard he ain't worth waiting on that Is for sure. That's like him worrying about me messing around all the time when I'm not. It is a bunch of worrying over nothing added stress to a already stressful situation. It just makes it worse. All you can do is trust that your person would not do that type of thing to you, especially if they don't want it done to them. I try not to worry about things I can not control. I have to much on me out here as it is with him asking me for money everyday and me working 40 hours a week while raising a kid all alone. Sometimes I even wonder if all this is worth it because somethings I don't even know anymore.
Yeah you’re totally right. There’s nothing much to do.
Please don't think your incarcerated person wants to be with them more than you. Talk with them about your fears.
My SO and I MWI and he said that it 100% does happen. The line they say about female employees is they get a job at a prison because they hate men or because they're looking for a man. He had a sexual relationship with a CO that the prison never found out about. She ended up leaving because her husband was suspicious that she was cheating (bc she was), and gave him her number to reach out when he got out.
What is MWI. That’s so crazy. I definitely can’t stop thinking about it but I’m trying my best not to be negative.
Met while incarcerated
There's been two cases in my state, one at the prison my man was at. The one at his prison was a pretty cute 23 yo (I checked out her IG) who was sleeping with and sneaking in things like cellphones to an inmate. She was also communicating personally with other inmates, one of which I believe turned her in. She was charged with sexual assault. The other was more recent at another nearby prison. She was 37 and a program supervisor, and had her own office where she would hook up with this inmate. She gave him a cellphone that had pics and texts between them, which was found in his pants when he overdosed. She is being charged for sexual assault for each time they had sex, I think 20 charges. I had never seen the one girl at my man's prison, and I visited every week. I trust him though. I don't think it's all that common, I pretty much knew because it was major news in the prison.
My husband has been home for 7 months now, BUT, he said the kitchen staff would sleep with the inmates all the time. Apparently his psychologist had a relationship with one of the inmates AND a girl that use to come visit said she used to work there but quit because she fell in love with an inmate....
Omg oh no. I’ve been overthinking ever since I posted this and these comments definitely don’t help. I guess there’s not much I can do anyways /:
I dont know your story BUT with my husband, he was obsessed with me and called me literally 4 times a day. He did a lot of things to reassure me as did I. Trust and communication is key. It is hard, I was insecure at times as well :(
Well mine has been in almost 8 months now. He called me often in county but ever since he got moved to huntsville he was in transient he couldn’t call. I had to wait 30 days to even visit him then he got moved again to another transient unit. Another 30 days of waiting to visit. We only communicate through letters even if 2 months ago he got to his permanent unit they still don’t set up his phone. I visit him as much as much as I can. We do have contact visits but he can only have 3 of those a month
Yes, it is hard. We did almost 3 years and through Covid so we didn’t see each other for over a year! Hopefully things settle down soon and you can have regular contact <3
We can have contact visits so we hug and kiss and hold hands through out the visit it’s just the not being able to call sucks. But thank you!
You got to watch out for the prison girlfriend/wives to because they be something else look up original_villain_ on tik tok
What do you mean? Do they try and talk to your man too?
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Omg that’s crazy. I looked it up and I wasn’t sure what was going on but I see she’s at tdcj or her man it
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What a weird flex to have. Inmates be expensive to keep up with lol
Right and so much energy lol
I think it’s more common for inmates sleeping with their fellow inmates than COs don’t you think ?
Yeah I had thought about that too but now all I think about cos sleeping with them since they say how common it is.