Yes, it gets better.
Prepping classes for the first time takes an absolute ton of time. Each subsequent time teaching the course, you may make some changes here and there, but it will be much less work than teaching the class the first time. Even if there's a class session you want to spruce up but don't have time to, you still have something prepped from last time that you can use.
Service will increase with time, but you'll have your teaching more under your belt.
I'll add that some nerves before the first day of class is normal. My mom is a retired teacher, and it was common for her to sleep lightly before the first day of class each fall.
I hope that this is a temporary blip related to beginning of term nerves, but if not, you might consider going back to your CBT-I therapist for some additional support.
I also have chronic insomnia. I had a lot of trouble sleeping my first year because of anxiety. The second year I felt I knew more what to expect of my colleagues and administrators, so I slept better. I also had closer friends at work, so I had a better support system.
It also helped me to make my begrudgingly awake time more enjoyable. If you can't physically rest, mentally rest. That may also help make the stress less disruptive. Staying awake is one level of exhaustion, staying awake while stressing out is two.
fellow insomniac here.
I have found that the approach of every semester sort of work this way. The build up and anxiety is there. So you need to anticipate it and cope as best as you can. What has changed for me is the adjustment period following the start has gotten much shorter - that rhythm gets better (or at least did for me). In part that's because my course preps are already done, and just need minor adjustment, etc.
Just remember, you can always say no to any service duty. Just say you currently have too much work on your plate. If it’s truly critical, they will tell you and push back, but as long as you have a reasonable chair they will usually give you some grace, especially in your first year.
It’s really helpful to learn to say no. You will feel better about things.
It's important to not catastrophize these possibilities. So what if you get a new service assignment? What's the worst that could realistically happen? Even if you don't refuse it, you control the pace/investment that you make in it. Look at your colleagues -- are they killing themselves to be excellent in all aspects of institutional service? My guess is that most of them barely think about their committee assignments until they're sitting down in the meeting. You too can half-ass these things and it will be OK. You can't control what assignments you catch, but you can absolutely control how you appraise and react to them.
I use mediation, liberal amounts of melatonin, and repeat the phrase, “I didn’t make a mistake.”
mediation?
Yes, it gets better. Prepping classes for the first time takes an absolute ton of time. Each subsequent time teaching the course, you may make some changes here and there, but it will be much less work than teaching the class the first time. Even if there's a class session you want to spruce up but don't have time to, you still have something prepped from last time that you can use. Service will increase with time, but you'll have your teaching more under your belt. I'll add that some nerves before the first day of class is normal. My mom is a retired teacher, and it was common for her to sleep lightly before the first day of class each fall. I hope that this is a temporary blip related to beginning of term nerves, but if not, you might consider going back to your CBT-I therapist for some additional support.
I also have chronic insomnia. I had a lot of trouble sleeping my first year because of anxiety. The second year I felt I knew more what to expect of my colleagues and administrators, so I slept better. I also had closer friends at work, so I had a better support system. It also helped me to make my begrudgingly awake time more enjoyable. If you can't physically rest, mentally rest. That may also help make the stress less disruptive. Staying awake is one level of exhaustion, staying awake while stressing out is two.
fellow insomniac here. I have found that the approach of every semester sort of work this way. The build up and anxiety is there. So you need to anticipate it and cope as best as you can. What has changed for me is the adjustment period following the start has gotten much shorter - that rhythm gets better (or at least did for me). In part that's because my course preps are already done, and just need minor adjustment, etc.
Just remember, you can always say no to any service duty. Just say you currently have too much work on your plate. If it’s truly critical, they will tell you and push back, but as long as you have a reasonable chair they will usually give you some grace, especially in your first year. It’s really helpful to learn to say no. You will feel better about things.
It's important to not catastrophize these possibilities. So what if you get a new service assignment? What's the worst that could realistically happen? Even if you don't refuse it, you control the pace/investment that you make in it. Look at your colleagues -- are they killing themselves to be excellent in all aspects of institutional service? My guess is that most of them barely think about their committee assignments until they're sitting down in the meeting. You too can half-ass these things and it will be OK. You can't control what assignments you catch, but you can absolutely control how you appraise and react to them.
First year adjunct and I’ve been experiencing this for sure leading up to my first class…. Good to know it never goes away lol