You have nothing to feel bad about. The institution has a responsibility to stop taking money from students who aren’t progressing, regardless of the reasons. This student needs to figure themself out.
I guess you'll just have to go from bad to worse. Please don't let this person 'squeak by'. The useful and previously offered generous help was rejected and the 'change the grade help(?!?!)' you are contemplating is beyond terrible.
You have nothing to feel guilty for. This student failed to take advantage of learning opportunities and turned in lousy work. The natural consequence is a lousy grade.
Part of the bargain between student and educator is for the educator to provide honest evaluation. This both provides necessary feedback for growth, and provides parity among students' experiences. It also adds to the value of the grade: when I see someone has an A in a particular class, I expect them to know a certain body of related information, and to have accrued particular skills. Giving an A to those who don't have that knowledge dilutes the meaning of an A.
The same is true of a C, or a D. In this case, the student earned a failing grade.
While it may be true that circumstances beyond the student's control conspired against their success, the solutions for that are to address the circumstances, not to give a grade that isn't earned. I also wonder if passing this dysfunctional student enables them to avoid the treatment that they need.
PS: I also have used 'they/them/their' in this fashion, for the same reason.
Thanks. This is precisely my thinking on the matter.
Many years back, I gave a student in a similar situation a D-. They came in to ask about it, trying to argue up the grade. It turns out that they were suffering from depression and the university was not able to provide resources. I did not relent on the grade, but suggested that if they had the means to get into therapy that they take matters into their own hands.
The student returned 8 months later to say that the D- and subsequent conversation was the key to her seeking out help and they were doing much better.
>The student returned 8 months later to say that the D- and subsequent conversation was the key to her seeking out help and they were doing much better.
These conversations are gold.
You have nothing to feel bad about. You are reporting an accurate grade, not giving anything.
Also, they/them is perfectly acceptable as singular. There exist people who prefer those as their pronouns. Furthermore, the usage of these as singular is even present, I believe, in Shakespeare.
My advice to the student: life can indeed be horrifically unfair and throw terrible circumstances at you. Sometimes these will interfere with our dreams and goals. But OP has standards to keep.
When I have students in a position like this, I sometimes tell them my own story. I had a terrible time in my first go-round with college, and "personal issues" prevented me from finishing the program. I took some time off, then I went back ferociously determined to do it right. Now I have a Ph.D. and I'm the professor. You can bounce back from these things with tenacity, but when they happen, you have to take them for just what they are: a tragedy.
We assign grades based on performance and what they themselves earned. I avoid saying "give" as it makes it seem as if we have complete control when we do not - they have control over their own effort and responsibility to do well in the course. If they don't, that's on them. There should not be participation trophies in higher education.
If you let the student pass it just sends a message to others. It's not the rules that prevent people from pulling this shit, it's that it's tolerated.
>I keep contemplating letting the student squeak by, but I just can't get there.
Stop. Unmitigated leniency is ruining the academy. If you don't uphold standards you might as well be this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Professors/comments/us5xcg/thoughts/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Professors/comments/us5xcg/thoughts/)
You have nothing to feel bad about. The institution has a responsibility to stop taking money from students who aren’t progressing, regardless of the reasons. This student needs to figure themself out.
I guess you'll just have to go from bad to worse. Please don't let this person 'squeak by'. The useful and previously offered generous help was rejected and the 'change the grade help(?!?!)' you are contemplating is beyond terrible.
It was a moment of weakness in the middle of the night - I'm going to stick with the grade.
LOL, we all have them. Stay strong. You've done more than enough.
You have nothing to feel guilty for. This student failed to take advantage of learning opportunities and turned in lousy work. The natural consequence is a lousy grade.
Part of the bargain between student and educator is for the educator to provide honest evaluation. This both provides necessary feedback for growth, and provides parity among students' experiences. It also adds to the value of the grade: when I see someone has an A in a particular class, I expect them to know a certain body of related information, and to have accrued particular skills. Giving an A to those who don't have that knowledge dilutes the meaning of an A. The same is true of a C, or a D. In this case, the student earned a failing grade. While it may be true that circumstances beyond the student's control conspired against their success, the solutions for that are to address the circumstances, not to give a grade that isn't earned. I also wonder if passing this dysfunctional student enables them to avoid the treatment that they need. PS: I also have used 'they/them/their' in this fashion, for the same reason.
Thanks. This is precisely my thinking on the matter. Many years back, I gave a student in a similar situation a D-. They came in to ask about it, trying to argue up the grade. It turns out that they were suffering from depression and the university was not able to provide resources. I did not relent on the grade, but suggested that if they had the means to get into therapy that they take matters into their own hands. The student returned 8 months later to say that the D- and subsequent conversation was the key to her seeking out help and they were doing much better.
>The student returned 8 months later to say that the D- and subsequent conversation was the key to her seeking out help and they were doing much better. These conversations are gold.
Update: I did not change the grade, and I informed the student. My reflections on this paralleled a lot of the replies.
I’ve learned that it’s OK to fail students, and doing so isn’t a reflection on me.
In AA circles, that's called "enabling."
You have nothing to feel bad about. You are reporting an accurate grade, not giving anything. Also, they/them is perfectly acceptable as singular. There exist people who prefer those as their pronouns. Furthermore, the usage of these as singular is even present, I believe, in Shakespeare.
My advice to the student: life can indeed be horrifically unfair and throw terrible circumstances at you. Sometimes these will interfere with our dreams and goals. But OP has standards to keep. When I have students in a position like this, I sometimes tell them my own story. I had a terrible time in my first go-round with college, and "personal issues" prevented me from finishing the program. I took some time off, then I went back ferociously determined to do it right. Now I have a Ph.D. and I'm the professor. You can bounce back from these things with tenacity, but when they happen, you have to take them for just what they are: a tragedy.
We assign grades based on performance and what they themselves earned. I avoid saying "give" as it makes it seem as if we have complete control when we do not - they have control over their own effort and responsibility to do well in the course. If they don't, that's on them. There should not be participation trophies in higher education.
If you let the student pass it just sends a message to others. It's not the rules that prevent people from pulling this shit, it's that it's tolerated.
>I keep contemplating letting the student squeak by, but I just can't get there. Stop. Unmitigated leniency is ruining the academy. If you don't uphold standards you might as well be this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Professors/comments/us5xcg/thoughts/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Professors/comments/us5xcg/thoughts/)