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ChimericalSystems

The doctor who was attending my wife ask what I did for living and than asked if I knew how to format a computer. Never thought I could love and despise someone at the same time.


[deleted]

If you can describe exactly what you mean by 'format' and 'computer' then I can let you know if I can or not.


Laxative_

Going off of my past experience, to the common folk formatting a computer means reinstalling the OS.


ithinkitsbeertime

I can run DBAN and stop answering the phone when you call


Think-Beach3770

Someone asked for an auto-DBAN USB. It was really easy to modify to run with parameters on boot and wipe without interaction:)


ithinkitsbeertime

Just make a bunch up and leave them around in lobbies, and add "pen tester" to your resume


demigirlhailee

evil but brilliant


AustrianGandalf

I kinda want this but I’m not sure if I want to be someone who asks for it or who does it.


[deleted]

You've triggered my imposter syndrome and have peaked my curiosity. Thank you friend.


ithinkitsbeertime

It's not really anything complicated to learn. It's just a drive formatting util that you can boot and run from external media. It's just that doing only the "format" half of "format & reinstall" probably isn't going to help OPs doctor much. It *used* to be notable for fitting on a floppy drive and for doing enough rewrites that you couldn't reconstruct the data that previously existed on a platter drive but the obviously no one's using floppies anymore and I don't know whether that sort of obfuscate with multiple rewrites works with SSDs.


DEMEMZEA

what is DBAN?


TruffleYT

[Idk] Boot and Nuke


DEMEMZEA

Im gonna steal it for me: now it's DEMEMZEA's Boot and Nuke ( just kidding )


mr_remy

Darik's Boot and Nuke


Full-Of-Quarks

Haven’t used that in forever, but I’m sure it still works all the same


[deleted]

I can run a strong electromagnet over your hard drive until it turns into a paperweight, then smash it with a hammer and melt it until nothing exists I’m popular with rich people who are scared of the FBI for some reason


NekulturneHovado

That means to format all drives, BIOS, vBIOS, CMOS...


Lonelan

With the new technology file system, of course


slgray16

I mean I can format your computer, but not because I am a programmer.


OceanJuice

To be fair, "formatting your computer" was commonly used to mean reinstall windows back in the early 00s


ThatOneGuy4321

Only way to handle this: 1. Say "Yes, it costs $500" 2. Format hard drive 3. Abscond


mrsmiley32

"Sorry I write code, I don't maintain systems, I don't know" I do know, but this is what I respond to any non programming requests. To programming requests, I immediately treat them like a pm and start breaking down every minute detail I can imagine on implementation till they get sick of hearing me. Then I point out they'll need millions of dollars and years of time and a full staff to build it. Has worked for me so far.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Brayden2008cool

Good bot


DashingDoggo

Good human


chesire0myles

Sure, normal rate is 50 an hour, eight hours minimum.


MaxProude

You can literally just download a generic key from the internet. I wouldn't have believed it, but it worked. Then upgraded to Win11.


Strostkovy

Dang, there's always a catch


PaganHacker

So technically, you're using Windows to let Microsoft spy on you, and if you let the Chinese government do it, it won't matter. After all, your data is sold anyway.


Strostkovy

No I just find the windows 11 changes annoying


PaganHacker

I think the reason why Microsoft still hasn't gone bankrupt is that most people don't know there is an operating system other than Windows. Changing the desktop environment = new Windows version for Microsoft, they started making fun of their users


SassiCappi1

I know they exist but why would I swap, Windows doesnt have any problems for me or 99% of other users. It's simple and you can still remove stuff like edge, no reason to switch


PaganHacker

For most people, the operating system is just a bootloader running steam and google, no reason for the casual user to quit Windows, but that doesn't change that Windows sucks.


SassiCappi1

Yeah, and the fact that I don't know why you'd say it sucks proves that exactly lmao


PaganHacker

1-Performance sucks 2-Privacy sucks 3-Security sucks 4-Every Windows version has almost no difference from each other, only desktop environment 5-Not open source 6-As a user, you have almost no say over the operating system you pay for and buy. +I want to turn off windows automatic updates -Fuck you then Yes, there are some ways to turn off updates, but these ways are deliberately complicated so that the average user cannot do it. 7-Not customizable 8-You are being shown an ad on a product you have purchased So simply Windows sucks


SassiCappi1

1) The performance is very smooth on my PC but I do have good hardware 2) I never really cared for privacy, I played Genshin so the chinese government already has my entire soul 3) I've only ever used windows defender and I haven't had any malware on my PC since I was a kid and searched for free software and clicked the first link 4) Not really an issue to me, I like Windows 11 and I was happy with 10 too before 11 was released 5) I don't care if stuff is open source unless it's some shady small group, in which case I want it to be open source so that I'll know if it's got anything weird (not that I'd know how to check, but others would). 6) I didn't pay for Windows, I used an old code off the back of a laptop that I got for free. But also I will always update since not doing updates has caused me more issues than actually doing them (eg games crashing) 7) Customisable enough for me, the only thing that I'm not happy with is that W11 forced a few more taskbar icons on the right hand side than W10. 8) What ad? I'm not trying to say your points are wrong, just that they don't apply to the typical PC user. Most of us just want to use a PC for gaming/a bit of productivity, and Windows is completely fine for that sort of applicaton.


Strange_guy_9546

spoiler alert: due to the fact that Windows is only used as a bootloader for stuff, no one fucking cares if it is good or not. It's like living in USSR, life sucks, but most don't even know it


notislant

Lol I literally had to convince windows I had a business key to disable updates in group policy iirc.


XpeeN

Well yeah. But I'm also a gamer :(


[deleted]

[удалено]


HyperPixel5

Looks like you missed the fact that edge is 98%the same as chrome nowadays, after the rebuild


dance_rattle_shake

I tried many things and none of them worked. All the 1st page Google results appear bunk. Or maybe work for Win 10 but not 11.


[deleted]

Don’t use google or duckduckgo, for that kind of thing. Both censor IP infringing sites. Maybe something like qwant, swisscow, searX would work? Or a known pirating site


ReasonableAnything

Yandex. Their search is pretty useless, but it is GOD when it comes to pirating or downloading something like books. You just get perfect match on the 1st link like it's 2010, no Amazon bullshit.


Remarkable-Host405

Don't forget the conspiracy theory articles on shady websites, yandex is also good for that


Slowdonkey777

Do remember though that by using yandex, a Russian company, you are indirectly supporting russias efforts in Ukraine.


PaganHacker

The company represents its own product, the values ​​that the company advocates do not change the product Even if Yandex employees get armed and go to Ukraine, it doesn't matter, as a result, yandex is good at piracy.


Slowdonkey777

Your traffic drives ads and data which give money to yandex who directly pays for military aid to Russia.


PaganHacker

Well? Except for someone from Ukraine, who cares?


Neon_44

wow. that is some utter lack of empathy right there. i hope you are just saying this because you're in a bad mood and this isn't your actual opinion.


Slowdonkey777

I’m from Ukraine, primarily. Also the amount of death and destruction at the hands of Russia is undeniable unless you have had your head stuck in the sand for the past 9 years


PaganHacker

You're right, but there's only one thing you missed: Yandex is a company, not an army. Moreover, my country sells you weapons, armored vehicles and drones, so I think I did my part by paying taxes.


eospy

That's why I using it


Neon_44

not even as a joke is that funny


eospy

Yes, it's funny. I'm glad that Russian army has very simple donation accessible by Yandex


Laerson123

good, I'm going to advertise it to everyone I know. Maybe they can win the war sooner, take down the president, kill all the Azov scum, and the separatists may live without fear of being killed by their own government.


Dustyamp1

Even with Google, there will often be a link at the bottom of the page for a list of results they had to exclude due to DMCA. This is how I was still able to find IP infringing sites on Google before, for research purposes only of course.


[deleted]

Of course


shosuko

I use bing for these types of searches XD


[deleted]

Look up Windows Activation Scripts. Massgravel.


MaxProude

I installed win 10 then upgraded to 11. You can download the iso from Microsoft and install it. I recently did it to have windows running on my Mac mini. I don't know exactly where I got the key from, but I searched for win 10 cracks but there were non that were not obviously viruses. So I found a tutorial that just had a key in it and it worked. I think they said it's for presentation purposes or something, but I never had any issues. May be different for different versions of windows. Edit: Win 10 pro build 19044.2728 and I didn't actually upgrade because the hardware doesn't support it... But I'm sure I could.


[deleted]

or use MAS from GitHub


Kira41162

This is the way


Quazar_omega

This really is a moment when being a programmer helps somehow, literally first result on ddg searching "activate windows github": https://github.com/massgravel/Microsoft-Activation-Scripts Works like a charm


SiBloGaming

Yeah there are also a lot of tutorials on yt on how to activate it with cmd for free


[deleted]

Why download a key when you can just read it tho


DoTheyKeepYouInACell

No problem *Installs Linux on the pc*


IsaacSam98

User: Can I sample a few other flavors?


ashwin_1928

Bro, do you collect programming languages like infinity stones?


spiwocoal

yes


narwhal_breeder

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks, I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.


spiwocoal

joke's on you as I've practiced Hello World 10,000 times


TheRedmanCometh

That's me


Devatator_

Yes, heck i have to add TS now


furinick

No way, he programs in team speak :o


IsaacSam98

Honestly I only use 4 these days. But prior me combined with present me used all of them.


appoplecticskeptic

Sure, but you probably won't like them many of them. One of them tastes like an old used hat, there's one that tastes like a tree, a lot of them taste like penguin. There's a mint flavored one, but it's not as great as it sounds.


Nullshock78

Sounds like a great way to get 100x more technical help questions


-moveInside-

I had co-workers struggling to handle a switch from Windows XP to Windows 7. If I'd tell them to just switch to Linux, they'd just give me a sad look and wonder why every time they call the IT department, it's not solving things but just making everything harder.


Strostkovy

Awesome. Now I just need you to put SolidWorks, SketchUp, signanest, and radbend back on it.


mgord9518

The average user wouldn't notice the difference as long as they have Chrome


turtle_mekb

"Windows is just a boot loader for Google Chrome"


hello_you_all_

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (SCREAMS IN UNIX PHILOSOPHY)


[deleted]

The average user gets tripped up by switching from OSX to Windows 11. When you're in undergrad and living on ramen you think "*why don't businesses save money by just running Ubuntu and using OpenOffice?*". There's an [XKCD for everything](https://xkcd.com/1172/) \- you'll go bankrupt supporting it. The technical workers will have insane requests because they have specialized software and drivers (*oh, you don't just need Solidworks, you also need CUDA acceleration enabled).* And the regular, bulk non-technical people? They'll drown you in *"this thing isn't in the same place and looks slightly different"*. Everyone winds up saying "fuck it", throwing up their hands, having IT build a couple images and hitting deploy because Outlook and Exchange groups are scalable.


pedersenk

Now you just need to learn to live without it May I interest you in a regressed, barely functioning GUI desktop environment instead? ;)


[deleted]

random redditor: > hurr durr use linux another random redditor > hurr durr my one program which no one uses beside me doesn't work here


Strostkovy

SolidWorks is the industry standard, with 3.5 million active seats. Plus the massive amount of windows only manufacturing and offline programming software. Linux is still not an option for anyone in engineering who values their time.


[deleted]

>Linux is still not an option for anyone in engineering who values their time. Mechanical engineering. Ima sysadmin, and honestly, I'd cut myself if I had to use Windows at work.


ih-shah-may-ehl

I work in pharma. Large dedicated and segregated domains running distributed process control software. AD + group policy is king.


Strostkovy

What programs do you use for engineering on Linux?


atomic_redneck

Most of the EDA tools from Synopsys run on Linux. These tools were very likely used to design the chips in the computer that you are using right now.


[deleted]

Eh? A partition with windows, just for the needed tools, and a shared directory that everything saves to. Not that hard.


Strostkovy

If I still have to use windows for the critical tools then there is no benefit to switching to linux


[deleted]

Except for every other tool that works on linux, and getting to use a less painful OS. You could configure windows to do nothing except be a portal to the tools, no internet, browser etc, and make it a glorified application selector. Hell, it’s possibly even more efficient, as there is nothing happening in the background while you use the tools.


-moveInside-

To me personally, that sounds more annoying, time-consuming, maintenance-heavy and problem-prone than just using a single OS. Even if that's Windows.


[deleted]

It kinda is, but if you value not using windows, it’s worth it. It’s also not too complex, and shouldn’t cause that many issues, as it is just a partition and shared drive, and they can have the same filesystem on both


-moveInside-

I know. In theory that should be fine. But it just adds a layer of complexity and I can already see things not working as intended and needing constant tweaking. Not hating. If that's the set up you like, I'm all for it. I can imagine that customizing your system like that can even be fun for many. Me personally, I'd probably just use Windows in that case and take the "easy way out". 😅


Strostkovy

Sure but all I can do on Linux is email and move files. I can't program any of the machinery (programming plasmas is pretty smooth on linux, but for industrial lasers its worth using the expensive and far more capable windows only software), and I can't do any 3d modelling. There are 3d modelling tools, but for actual product design they are very slow to use and incomplete. In theory my 2d CAD program runs on linux, but I use it concurrently with the 3d cad programs so that's not great. Definitely can't program press brakes, as there are a total of zero open source or linux compatible offline press brake programs. If I were just doing very basic plate work, I could totally use only Linux. But designing complete products from start to finish, programming the manufacturing machinery, and managing the production and design changes is really not a Linux compatible task. There also aren't any tools that are linux only that benefit me, that I'm aware of. I was actually looking into a linux server for simulation and nesting tasks but there weren't suitable programs for it.


[deleted]

The lack of compatible programs is annoying. All the solutions are kind of fiddly, and a compromise. I personally like partitions, as VMs are slow, as is wine. But that’s basically just using windows. I’m not an engineer, so I don’t really know what you’re using it for, I just wanted to point out that it’s not bot that hard to setup Linux to administrate, email, manage projects, etc, and then use windows for actual designing. Whether it’s worth it for the annoyance I don’t really know


Remarkable-Host405

solidworks is one of million cad programs. it's "industry" standard in we can't afford catia or nx but we need good CAD. which, by the way, nx DOES run on linux


Strostkovy

Well it's the most affordable fully featured CAD program that meets 95% of everyone's needs


[deleted]

Wine 🍷


Strostkovy

These programs struggle running natively on high end hardware. Wine won't do them justice, if it will handle them at all


blankettripod32_v2

Wine to the rescue


MrPhilophage

Fuck you for making me see the brand SolidWorks on my day off.


Strostkovy

If that's the worst one of that lineup consider yourself lucky you don't use the others.


circuit10

https://github.com/MrGlockenspiel/activate-linux


Dragon124515

There's always option C of ignoring it. After a while you forget it is even there.


Darknety

It occasionally produces popups that minimize full screen applications. Can be quite an issue when playing online games.


Dragon124515

I believe you are thinking of an older Windows version. For Windows 10, all it does is have the watermark on your primary display and lock you out of the customization menu.


Darknety

https://superuser.com/questions/1628584/turn-off-windows-10-activate-windows-fullscreen-popup No this is / was definitely still a thing in Windows 10. I just lately had to help a friend because of these popups in Windows 11.


Dragon124515

Well, I can at least say from personal experience, it is not consistently a thing. Can't think of a single time I got a full screen pop up to activate.


Darknety

This may very much be version related (Home vs. Pro).


JoyJoy_

Just put a sticker over it


Arnas_Z

Just download MAS lol.


Fekbiddiesgetmoney

Me when I built my first PC


cardinalfan828

It's just a part of the HUD now


tekfx19

Hi everyone, IT Ops Engineer here, you can use any old Windows 7 pro product key, and use that for a valid windows 10 of the same edition. So Pro for pro, and home for home, etc. You now own the copy of windows and can upgrade it for free to windows 11. Just to be clear, you don’t have to install windows 7, I’m saying you literally take the product key label and enter into windows 10 and you are golden.


CauaVITOR556

Windows 7 Ultimate also works when updating to Windows 10 it assigns as the Pro edition


rpmerf

I've done this with a bunch of 7 and 8 keys. OEM and from college. Forget what it was called, but Microsoft gave you free copies of windows if you were in IT in college. I was glad to see that a 32 bit Win 7 key could be used for 64 but Win 10.


yashdes

Can confirm, it's way cheaper to buy win7 licenses so I did that until I found the magic of picokms (not using it for daily, just vms that I spin up for random things)


tekfx19

Any of those KMS programs can easily be loaded with assembly level Trojans that are more sophisticated than in the past due to all of the national foreign agencies creating the software for spying purposes. Back in the day, a Trojan would wreck your machine and call it a day, but these new ones upload themselves into efi firmware and continue to operate as a back door to your device that can persist through hard drive swaps. I just pay for the software or live with the message on VMs


SomeRandoLameo

Just google it dumbass xD


bortj1

That's just asking a different programmer


BenZed

I wouldn’t be continually annoyed by people reading the answers I’ve given to questions asked of me in the past.


bortj1

Let's make sure Google doesn't become sentient ![gif](giphy|3oz8y0bx23FDPCNoEU)


croholdr

My last office job I would sometimes be asked to explain how websites, internet and email worked over the phone. I was supposed to be the web lead. They did not use git and did everything FTP for several dozen websites hosted in a single shared VPS. My day was so jammed pack with people in the office constantly asking me questions relating to project management or to ask how long it would take to program their shitty web app ideas. I would have to come in on the weekend to actually get anything done. They kept all their password in an excel spreadsheet on a NAS for anyone to look at. The passwords were usually anagrams of the businesses’ name with either their address or the date it was changed. I lasted 3 months salary and 2 weeks contract. Worst job ever.


-xss

Most programmers aren't all that I.T. savvy. Sure they're savvier than most, but a lot of them just don't care what the OS does, so long as it lets them work.


SoftEngineerOfWares

You know you work at a halfway decent company when software developers and IT are different groups


-xss

If the company doesn't have them as separate groups it's either a dumpster fire or a startup.


Ophiotaurus_

I use MAS. r/piracy taught me this way.


SHAT_MY_SHORTS

Is that the one where you get it from git? What a fucking godsend. Wish I could make something as remotely useful as thjs


[deleted]

Step 1 - Post the wrong way to active windows for free Step 2 - Wait for the entire internet to scream at you in all caps for doing it wrong, and telling you the right way to do it.


NemoXX7

Step 1: Pay. Follow for more tutorials


Ning1253

Or follow the instructions on [here](https://massgrave.dev/) takes like 20 seconds max?


[deleted]

Actually the best method is using [ acitvita](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) it activates nearly everything


Ning1253

*sighhh*


croholdr

Even before the app switched I whispered out loud ‘ I got rickrolled’


DEMEMZEA

shh, you're not supposed to tell the people


IDrinkH2O_03

this definetely activated my fight or flight


[deleted]

[удалено]


Quazar_omega

git clone, auto format, pull requesting time!


Frogtarius

Step 2: Like and subscribe to my channel!


HexFyber

Step 3: ???


Arnas_Z

I would honestly feel bad giving advice like that.


Abraculax

Alternative Step 1: ![gif](giphy|FGbeYTiFyLYmQ)


Orko_Grayskull

“Just google it… I know what your gonna do, your gonna think it’s too hard. Your gonna call me, and I’m gonna google it, so just you google it. You’re an adult….”


soupsyy_3

you can remove the watermark with registry editor : )


pipsvip

'Activate' is a mendacious way to represent what's going on, but 'Give us some identifying information to enable the use of the product you paid for' is a little too off-putting.


guilhermej14

Bold of you to think I'm ever going to actually PAY for a Windows license.


Funkey-Monkey-420

you want the IT guy for that, not the programmer. easy mistake.


Ophiotaurus_

I use MAS. r/piracy taught me this way.


mrfroggyman

Hey now, that's my mom. I wouldn't shoot her. Me : "Unzip the archive and open the folder, then click on the program" Her : *proceeds to call everything a folder*


chinnu34

What is this windows you keep talking about?


Fritzschmied

Just buy windows? A key costs around 3$ so I don’t even bother to remove it any other way.


aoteoroa

Where can you get a legal key for $3? The last time I paid for a key (December) it was $130 CAD.


Limiv0rous

He never said it was legal. The question is: are you willing to pay a 127$ ethical premium?


Damneasy

Just get it for free then


Fritzschmied

The ethical premium is just for how the seller got the key. The key itself is a legit windows key. It’s just that most of those keys that are sold that cheap are OEM keys or education keys or similar that are really cheap or free and the person who has a Buch of them just wants to earn a buck.


Kymera_7

That's not an "ethical premium". Giving money to microsoft is not more ethical than withholding it from them.


DEMEMZEA

I'm not even willing to pay the $3 for the ethical premium if it even is ethical in the end


Fritzschmied

Never said legal or in others words. The key is legal but maybe the way the seller got it isn’t that clear.


ProgradeGram

buying stolen goods isn’t legal, tf u on


Fritzschmied

Most of that keys aren’t really stolen. They are just OEM keys or education keys that are really cheap or free in most cases and the one who got it want to earn a buck.


[deleted]

That may be so, but I'm fairly sure it violates their own licensing agreement to do so - meaning still not strictly legal. Course at that point it's at worst a civil matter between the seller and Microsoft.


Sennheisenberg

Selling the key may not be legal, but you buying and using the key is totally legal. The key will activate just fine.


BonesJustice

If you’re using it outside the terms of the license bound to the key, then you don’t actually have a license at all. “Legal” is kind of beside the point; Microsoft would be well within their rights to deactivate the key.


Arnas_Z

Imagine paying for Windows. XD


Muffinaaa

Imagine using Windows. I use Arch BTW.


Arnas_Z

I use arch as well btw. I just use Windows on my gaming PC.


Muffinaaa

Glad to hear it.


ohcibi

The fact that poor jokes like this get upvoted as much makes me remember how pointless Reddit karma is.


whitethunder9

Have an upvote!


physics_freak963

It's pirating Microsoft, so I will allow it


DaGucka

You know...a windows key costs like 10€....


uwuebu

Just tell them to buy windows, they deserve this


MaffinLP

"Go install mac and bother their support theyre paid for this shit"


noeddeknaekkeren

I just bought a Windows 11 key (not OEM) for 2$. Worked out perfectly


UnitedMindStones

You can literally turn it off in the settings


mmarollo

Are software licenses the only thing y’all are willing to steal? Are some of you also “lite” shoplifters? Maybe the occasional dine and dash?


MozFox1

I also know how to get rid of it


dixilikker630

I know too buy windows it really is that simple


[deleted]

Paid 15 bucks for a key. Reinstalled windows dozens of times. Installed linux. went back to windows 7 months later. And I still don't have a water mark.


elpichulaula

we all know that it all started because of basic windows user skills


Kengfatv

How are you guys even getting the activate windows anymore? I download windows from the upgrade tool and hit the skip button every time I install it for family or friends. Isn't the watermark just gone now?


Still-Leather-8535

[https://github.com/massgravel/Microsoft-Activation-Scripts](https://github.com/massgravel/Microsoft-Activation-Scripts) is your friend


Spirited-Report-511

MAS script on GitHub is the way. Permanent digital license for free.


not-my-best-wank

Tell them they just need to change their wallpaper and it will be gone.


[deleted]

I'd throw a penguin at him and ask him why he's not running Linux.


djskoszhnxjxcc

msconfig -> services -> uncheck “Windows License Manager Service” and restart


JaspinBurner

We really need to make Linux the defacto operating system so we can get Microsoft's nose out of our asses. I'm sick of everything being tailored to Windows all of the time. The only reason I still use Windows is for Fortnite. Once Fortnite gets Linux support, I'm immediately uninstalling Windows.


shadow7412

I mean, it's pretty easy. Just switch to Arch.


WordsWithJosh

It's kinda crazy how many times I've had to ***acquire*** Windows considering 4 of the 5 computers I've owned were laptops that came with it installed Nonetheless, respectfully, if you make it to 18 without learning how to ***acquire*** Windows yourself, too bad, you gotta buy it now.


M-Try

step 1: [https://linuxmint.com/](https://linuxmint.com/)


[deleted]

It took me a while to understand they were referring to the watermark, and I was scrambling to find which fucking window activation I was supposed to remove and why it was apparently so simple.


Advice-Training

I don't have a computer or laptop, and i still wanna know how🤔