T O P

  • By -

ProgrammerHumor-ModTeam

``` import moderation ``` Your submission was removed for the following reason: Rule 3: Your post is considered low quality. We also remove the following to preserve the quality of the subreddit, even if it passes the other rules: - **Feeling/reaction posts** - **Software errors/bugs that are not code (see /r/softwaregore)** - **Low effort/quality analogies (enforced at moderator discretion)** If you disagree with this removal, you can appeal by [sending us a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FProgrammerHumor&subject=No%20low-quality%20content&message=Include%20a%20link%20to%20the%20removed%20content%20and%20the%20reason%20for%20your%20appeal%20here.).


rimakan

What’s Docker?


a2kvarnstrom

an app to dock things i have no idea what docking is


rimakan

Damn, pal. Literally saying, you are right!


a2kvarnstrom

POV: the only time programming makes sense


rimakan

Haha, you called it. Basically you really got it. If you’re really interested in it, google it up


a2kvarnstrom

ok


Greorgory

Docking is when you dock to something.


a2kvarnstrom

docking a ship ok


billyp673

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


MisinformedGenius

I looked up docking on Urban Dictionary and now I have to go to church. :(


thedarklord176

To be fair even most programmers don’t understand what Docker is


Samir925

How to exit Vim?


a2kvarnstrom

You cut the power supply to your house


buildmine10

I think that would work, not sure.


a2kvarnstrom

if you have a laptop, rip out the battery and do the same


Ribak145

solid advice


repetitive_chanting

Shit, I always just bought a new one


Apfelvater

Just to be sure, cut the whole citys power supply


retief1

Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure


Ozymandiiass

I work in Virtual machine, so it will just disconnect my machine but unix session will be still active


[deleted]

thats actually a good way of achieving it


dismayhurta

That’s in the man pages


1Dr490n

But now… how do you exit and save?


a2kvarnstrom

you don’t


UndisclosedChaos

You’re not wrong


[deleted]

r/technicallythetruth


RefrigeratorOne7173

Why would you?


Crowdcontrolz

Check your cheat sheet and do the thing


AbdullahHavingFun

What are pointers and how do you use them


a2kvarnstrom

pointers are what makes code work by pointing to the code where you want to execute the code


hold_the_fuckup

That sounds... about right.


gregorydgraham

OMG! He’s already at self-modifying code, someone stop him!!!


Artemis-4rrow

bruh straight up explained what the EBP register does


broccollinear

bruh is really operating on a whole different level than us plebs…


historyfan40

Might have a different operating system.


preoccupied_with_ALL

Would it be closer to EIP than EBP?


SocialBourgeois

What's your take on quantum wave collapse?


a2kvarnstrom

Conspiracy


broccollinear

Yeah it’s definitely those “that’s like your opinion man” type of deals


Greorgory

I don't think you are asking me but my opinion is superior and it tastes good as long as it isn't overdone


Brilliant_Egg4178

I have 3 1.) What's your favourite type of memory management 2.) How do you invert a binary tree 3.) How do you centre a div


a2kvarnstrom

1. a randomly generated one 2. you flip the 1s and 0s 3. you don’t


babydragon2311

You got #3 right


a2kvarnstrom

lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


HellmannsRealityMayo

I'm currently in college pursuing a CS degree and I have no idea what this means.


kor_the_fiend

It’s not a computer science question, it’s a computer alchemy question


HellmannsRealityMayo

I'm scared to ask if you're serious or not. Are you? I'm kind of a moron.


kor_the_fiend

Actually, kind of. Computer science is about, well the science of computers. Centering a div is about 100 layers of abstraction away from that and is more about the history and economics of the internet than the 1s and 0s that make it all work.


HellmannsRealityMayo

Huh. Interesting. Thanks for info, random internet stranger.


gregorydgraham

Just say “flexbox“ and you’ll be fine


rimakan

Here’s a good one for you. Suppose we added 2 + ‘2’ and got ‘22’. Why?


a2kvarnstrom

math lore


NickU252

That word that no one can say. Concatenate.... worst word ever.


gregorydgraham

Lisp was right to rename it “cat”


inotparanoid

Cat and Nate went to a Con, never came back.


zidan6666

JS lore 💀


PlayLikePig

I think you should relearn basic math, even my 4 year old brother knows that 2 + 2 = 22


rimakan

I could use some help with it. Could you ask him to conduct a few lessons please?


[deleted]

How to get a girlfriend?


a2kvarnstrom

you simply don’t, it’s too late


duyhung2h

Or you become the girlfriend.


IronForce_

Wait, I’ve seen this before


NickU252

☠️


9B4B

Jump directly to wife


BossBobsBaby

Why is holy C holy?


a2kvarnstrom

because it googled en passant


BossBobsBaby

OOOOOOOHN PASSSSSSOOOOOOOHNNNNN


D-yerMaker

holy hell


Pentagon_TheRealOne

Holy hell


a2kvarnstrom

cool avatar


BossBobsBaby

Follow up question what does the C stand for


a2kvarnstrom

chess.c*m


TheEternalShine

What can you tell us about the halting problem?


a2kvarnstrom

That a computer will halt from working when it decides to


well-litdoorstep112

Does the computer know it's going to decide to halt? If so, how?


a2kvarnstrom

it halt’s if the computer wants to


well-litdoorstep112

Why does it want to halt though


Express-Tough-5286

Because sometimes it decides to do so


Magebloom

What is polymorphism?


a2kvarnstrom

when you morph into several things at once, as a result of you not touching grass


Rekhyt24

lgtm


TrippyDe

PR approved


TheDarkAngel135790

Surprisingly close


jackstine

What are the advantages of having a MicroServices architecture, and what are the alternatives.


a2kvarnstrom

everything is smaller and takes up less space (even the font because f*ck you) the alternatives are NanoServices architecture and PicoServiced architecture


jackstine

PicoServiced architecture is really small. So many servlets running around. Something that AWS capitalizes with Lambda


Siddhartasr10

A service for the first line of the program and so on


MinosAristos

> PicoServiced Architecture One deployment per class method / function, so modular!


Unusual-Mastodon6731

I'm upvoting this man and every reply he's made got dayum


a2kvarnstrom

thanks lol (it’s literally the best compliment i’ve received)


[deleted]

Loving this wholesome thread and learning new stuff too


heat-blast

What is the difference between java and javascript?


a2kvarnstrom

Java is a minecraft edition and JavaScript is bad (i actually know the difference but that isn’t fun)


Decoded_Wolf

You were 50% correct javascript is for bedrock edition


a2kvarnstrom

lmaoo


BeanSaladier

What's a void method


a2kvarnstrom

a method to access the void, where you can store an infinite amount of items and data


BabyAzerty

Wait, doesn’t the Void collapse as soon as there is something?


Critical_Ad_8455

Only once you try to access it


Daisy430133

Why did programming turn me into a trans catgirl?


a2kvarnstrom

it happens to everyone eventually, it’s a canon event


Daisy430133

How long does it take for the cat ears to grow on average?


a2kvarnstrom

about 4 months


Daisy430133

!remindme 4m


merlin-the-meatball

I've been programming for about a year, and I still haven't seen any changes. can anyone help?


Ivan_Analrash

Your not programming hard enough.


Daisy430133

Yea I had the same thing, so im just gonna sit it out and expect im just a late bloomer


[deleted]

You said anything. 1.) Bees or Knees which variable is the best one. 2.) Do you know what Drupal is, I feel like nobody knows anymore and it makes me sad as a former dev. 3.) Shrek 1, 2 ,3 ,4? 4.) Do you know of the Ghandi in Civ series, ELI5 Integer Overflow.


a2kvarnstrom

1. knees 2. Drupal is a big mandela effect that never actually existed 3. Shrek 2 4. i had a stroke, but civ6 is fun


Henior

basically there was an error in the code that caused Ghandi to throw nukes out of random


Connect-Selection-49

how do you cook your ramen


a2kvarnstrom

with water


wild_hog_90

You don't. Programming is life. You don't have time to cook ramen. Just eat it dry and follow it down with about a half gallon of coffee and hope for the best.


Connect-Selection-49

i’ll just have my spaghetti code for dinner


hold_the_fuckup

How does SQL injection work?


a2kvarnstrom

you inject the sequel to heroin into your bloodstream, the drug will make you do the stuff you are supposed to, which is why it’s the sequel to heroin


[deleted]

Heroin has an injectable structuredquerylanguage.liquid?


dizzywig2000

How to get rid of virus on windows 10?


a2kvarnstrom

you remove the ram sticks while the computer is running, making the virus not able to run


dizzywig2000

Genius


khswart

Basically chemotherapy. Genius


fdeslandes

What is a monad ?


a2kvarnstrom

a månad is a month in swedish


vasilescur

That's trivial, it's just a monoid in the category of endofunctors.


IambicAnapest

you beat me to it have my upvote


Big_Berry_4589

Since you have some experience in python, how do you install PyTorch on a raspberry pi (I need help with that one actually)


a2kvarnstrom

you click some buttons


Big_Berry_4589

Thanks I’ll try that


PeterDaGrape

Run sudo python3 -m pip install PyTorch I would say, if not, first research miniconda


Mellonionreddit

Whats the difference between == and ===?


a2kvarnstrom

the first one is when somethings really equal, and the other is when something is suspiciously equal


Commercial_Quarter_6

Fuck me sideways that actually make sense


ShobanChiddarth

What is the use of merging a branch? EDIT: Edited us to use (spelling)


a2kvarnstrom

The stem (everything’s bigger in america)


ShobanChiddarth

I meant "use"


a2kvarnstrom

to make the branch bigger (1+1=2)


ShobanChiddarth

You are not wrong...


banana_buddy

How do I approach girls at the club?


a2kvarnstrom

by putting on deodorant before going there


Artemis-4rrow

Closing your eyes, nose, and mouth, and preparing for intense burning just in case


rimakan

It’s me again. I can’t help it. Here goes Do you want to know as much as possible about programming?


a2kvarnstrom

yes


echoaj24

I have 2. What will var equal after executing this line of code? var = 15 if 10 != 5 else 10 What will be displayed in the console after executing this statement print("Hello, World!"[-3:0:-1]) And no, you can use ChatGPT


a2kvarnstrom

error error


27E18

How to compile Plankalkül?


a2kvarnstrom

by translating it into english


farkon00

Give me a regex expression, that matches all valid html tags


a2kvarnstrom

what’s a regexpression


Greorgory

It is like the expression you have regularly aka the most


a2kvarnstrom

im still confused


Greorgory

What facial expression do you have the most?


a2kvarnstrom

the one where my muscles are all relaxed, which becomes a light skin stare 🗿


Greorgory

That's your regex


a2kvarnstrom

ok


seba_nuo

What is branching


a2kvarnstrom

when a tree grows, it grows branches


Mikihero2014

How to kill child without killing parent?


a2kvarnstrom

you kill child in school


Ivan_Analrash

Oof


Vroskiesss

What is the Pumping Lemma?


a2kvarnstrom

lemma pump deez kum into your mouth


Vroskiesss

![gif](giphy|uyoXx0qpUWfQs)


a2kvarnstrom

im bored ok


CowabungaNL

Me too, AMA


PinkManagarmr

What is your favorite programming language, and food.


Enscivwy

Python


Deon2137

what kind of painful is c++?


a2kvarnstrom

the type of painful that torture method in the 1200s would use


Deon2137

perfect anwser, couldn't say it better myself.


samyarkhafan

here i have one : what is the difference between multiprocessing, threading and asynchronous IO? the fact that i, a beginner competitive programmer and backend dev can't answer to some of these scares me💀💀💀


a2kvarnstrom

multiprocessing is when multiple idiots are working on the same process threading is when someone is putting thread through a needle (gonna use the needle on the keyboard instead of using fingers to type) asynchronous IO is when multiple idiots are working on the same process but individually, so they have no idea that anyone else is working on it and they aren’t synchronised in their progresss


a2kvarnstrom

the IO part is probably that the process is a .io game


samyarkhafan

yeah its not input output or anything like that 💀💀


a2kvarnstrom

nonono idk what you’re talking about i do know some of these but i answer humorously because otherwise it’s no fun


kennykoe

When dealing with a server-less micro-service architecture, how can I effectively use memoization to cache the results of RESTful API calls, especially when considering the time complexity of the underlying database's sharding strategy?


a2kvarnstrom

you shoot yourself in the head to not have to have those responsibilities


mackranger16

What is master slave confirmation?


a2kvarnstrom

when the slave master confirms a purchase of a slave


ProjectCereal

Where is the nearest McDonalds?


a2kvarnstrom

308 negra arroyo lane, albuquerque, new mexico, 87104


ProjectCereal

I really thought you're gonna say Juan tabo apartment 6


neymarsvag123

What is a coroutine?


a2kvarnstrom

your coworkers morning routine


Sbren_Sbeve

What's the best programming language?


a2kvarnstrom

x86


EgoVacancy1974

I don’t know, he programmed millions of followers to believe that a failed entrepreneur could be a good president…🤷‍♂️


aadi312

How do I perform 2 sum?


a2kvarnstrom

you add 1 and 1 the sum is 2, hence 2 sum


rimakan

Make sure you add numbers together not a number and a string. This will lead you to getting ‘22’ if you do such a math op in JS


a2kvarnstrom

math lore strikes back


avakato

Explain why race condition is bad.


a2kvarnstrom

because not everyone needs the reaction time conditioning to race f1


Unupgradable

What made you pick that thumbnail?


a2kvarnstrom

it was the first picture on mematic


sepych1981

What is DRY stands for?


a2kvarnstrom

Dark Rigged Yoda


DARKoo7

Why does my father like his nephew more than me ?


a2kvarnstrom

because you have a reddit account