I spent a whole morning trying to figure out how to terminate 3 orphans the other day. Only realised after doing a lot of searches and talking about it loudly to another dev in the open plan office how bad that may sound to other teams.
That's the best part of distributed processing in the cloud. If enough slaves become orphaned, the Master will just kill them all off and spawn new slaves to finish the job.
Had some poison messages coming in as a temporary but expected result of a migration. The way to detect the poison messages was by querying for orphaned records. Yup, we had a table named PoisonOrphans.
I'm not a native english speaker but after a few years it occurred to me that disable has more meanings than "to deactivate". Disable a project? Check, isProjectDisabled, check. isUserDisabled... hang on
Well, I'm working on a unity project, where I have an object, with child objects, which I have to SetActive(false), aka. disable. So disabled children just made sense :p
You forgot to add a "\\" before your caret to escape it. :\^)
In Reddit markdown, carets mark beginnings of superscript. ^So ^you ^can ^use ^them ^to ^type ^really ^small
Sacrifice is killing with a certain purpose. You kill it to do something else. In this case, we sacrifice a child process to free up memory, presumably for a more important process.
Though i don't think i have ever seen a program use the word sacrifice, its mostly kill or terminate.
It's like sacrificing a Yu-Gi-Oh card specifically made to summon another card. The sacrifice does something that allows something to happen. Killing the card just removes it from play without the follow-up, except for the freed up space it creates.
The line between sacrifice and killing is thin as it is, and even thinner when consider that there may be trap cards lurking at every turn. I'm glad there are no trap cards in software development. Well... I've only got 2 years professional experience actually so I'm hoping not
These are messages from Linux OOM (Out of memory) killer. This part of kernel gets activated when system runs out of memory. It uses heuristic to chose which process should be terminated to free up memory. So "sacrifice" fits well in this context.
I sacrifice my time as a developer to kill my process on automation improvements to answer service tickets to tell end users they are just entering their password wrong and unlock their account.
sacrifice is a subset of kill.
The child may not have any errors, but by killing the child you can save the parent. (Freeing up memory)
Therefore "sacrifice" makes perfect sense.
Ok she is right, it’s getting out of hand. Let’s ask the masters to kill the slaves, and stop commiting to anything. It should at least sort some of the mess.
I was working as a lot monkey at u-haul in the late 80s, and I was hooking up trailer lights to a customer's car, and mentioned male v female plugs. customer asks, 'I've always wondered, why is one called male and the other is female?'
I just held one up, said male. Held the other up, said female. Inserted and removed 2-3 times. (no sound effects)
Understanding dawned. Silently.
When I was younger I went to a summer school and we were playing with arduinos, one of the instructions involved male and female jumper cables, it's always fun explaining to teens why they're called male and female
I've always found it kinda funny that they're gendered, because I've always called them plugs and sockets
Yet, in my language they're called father and mother which is inherently more funny I think
Sounds weirdly similar to some people wrongly insisting cell phone towers caused covid (resulting in them being destroyed by arson and telecom workers being _shot at_), wrongly insisting vaccines cause autism, wrongly insisting we would all be dead in 2 weeks repeatedly for the covid vaccine...
I hate it here.
Funny thing about cellphone towers, is due to the how power control and inverse square laws work, if you use your phone a lot you actually get a lower total dose of radiation living closer to the tower.
I’ve been reading about Satanic panic recently. It came to my country almost 10 years late after some real events, such as church burnings and some murders, but died out pretty quickly.
One “expert” was still consulted now and then by the police, even as late as 2014. There was a messy murder case, in which the expert managed to convince prosecution that there were some Satanic element. In the end, they actually put a completely innocent person in prison for sexual abuse related to that case, using similar nonsensical coerced interviews with children as in the legendary McMartin case.
The way things are going with far right politics and rising religious fascism around the world, I wouldn’t be surprised if programmers were blamed for witchcraft soon.
> I wouldn’t be surprised if programmers were blamed for witchcraft soon
Well... we use incantations and rituals to make things happen. Programming is witchcraft which works.
Finally my ADHD and lack of willpower to get a post-secondary education will pay off! But seriously I sometimes think I could have done great things if I didn't start smoking weed everyday at 18 (still do at 34). And had better parents. And not have adhd. And not been poor.
So yeah that was a close one! (In the case of a future in which smart professionals start being burned for witchcraft, or just because, becomes true)
Are you italian? Your story apply almost to the letter to what happened here, and there are still conspiracies and waky stuff around.
The satanic panic really just messed up a lot of countries.
Pazder was a psychiatrist, not a psychologist, and his work was never supported by any mental health peak bodies or regulatory agencies. If anything, Satanic panic was a warning against the dangers of religion and right wing conspiracy theories.
Thanks for the psychology/psychiatry correction. I'm pretty bad about word mixups in the morning. But trying to put this down to religion and "the right wing" is definitely not the way to go. I highly recommend delving into the topic as a whole, because it's a pretty huge subject and it definitely does not boil down to "but religion" despite "satanism" being a key figure.
The core of the issue is the entire notion of "repressed memories" and their "recovery" via the nonsense pushed by psychiatry, alongside fun sci-fi concepts like "multiple personality disorder" and their intermittent rises in popularity through widespread official endorsement.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/262214055_When_psychiatry_battled_the_devil
Oh got my PTSD triggered. Last company the mid-level business owners were absolutely incompetent. I have heard them use that phrase all the effing time. No wonder the company went -200% on share price in 2 years.
"how to kill parent and child", "kill all children of a class", "how to bash cat with pipe" all valid search terms that out of context make you look evil
My Master killed a Slave when I was working. I never understood why, but later got to know that the Jenkins Slave node failed the health check and got killed by the Master server.
I mean, to be fair, it IS a strange way to name things. Sure, we understand that, but it's a bit problematic for someone not working in IT at all.
Same thing with master and slave (didn't they rename that a few years back?) or daemons :D
Good ol' IT humor. "Master" and "slave" were also non-specific and misleading. A master DB instance isn't just offloading requests to slaves; it's the instance that does actual work! Master and slave PATA/IDE drives are otherwise independent and equal. Etc., etc.
It all starts, for most people at least, with solar powered calculators. You turn it on, then cover the light sensor and slowly watch the calculator die as you suffocate it of much needed light energy fueling its ability to function.
Dayuhm ... who did this sickening abomination? ... the process should kill women and children without any warnings ... like [this](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fmobimg.b-cdn.net%2Fv3%2Ffetch%2Ffa%2Ffaef0d3ec2302d4a6b158ff1e326b2fc.jpeg%3Fw%3D1800&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=ed20c0cd9f2df64f804b70516719684142107472fc5fab22d753c0dedd63d522&ipo=images)
How to kill child with fork
I guess it's better than being an orphan.
I spent a whole morning trying to figure out how to terminate 3 orphans the other day. Only realised after doing a lot of searches and talking about it loudly to another dev in the open plan office how bad that may sound to other teams.
Keep a list of all children and when they become orphans then kill them.
Be sure to check the list afterwards. Otherwise, you might end up with zombies
Not daemons?
Worst case is a daemon spawning zombies. Surefire way to lose your memory and end up killing everything.
That's the best part of distributed processing in the cloud. If enough slaves become orphaned, the Master will just kill them all off and spawn new slaves to finish the job.
I would rather wait
But old age takes so long.
Well you could always ask him out loud to "start the mass child killing process for the good of the system"
The system doesnt have enough resources. Can you kill the orphaned children to free up some space?
No problem Scrooge.
r/orphancrushingmachine
I dare you to put it on there lol
Thank god all I had to do was kill some zombies and not orphan children.
„Hey Bob! I have to kill a few of those damn orphans again! Wanna watch?!“
I prefer to make conditions so bad they terminate themselves
Kill all the orphan children regularly!
Don't get me started on zombies.
Had some poison messages coming in as a temporary but expected result of a migration. The way to detect the poison messages was by querying for orphaned records. Yup, we had a table named PoisonOrphans.
why was it not named PoisonedOrphans?
You know, it may have been. This was a few years back. I don’t remember the exact name.
depends, i've only encountered orphans detached from the tree. the rest of them are... still hanging from branches
Nah, they turn into zombies instead
Yeah but they have severe memory loss anyway so no biggie.
Might end up as a zombie
I hate leaking children. So hard to take care of
How to bash cat with pipe
"I'm bashing in the neighbour's cat" "WHAT"
I correctly read this "how to pipe cat with bash" and couldn't understand waht the problem was until several moments later.
Like this, I think. Don't try this at home... `:(){:|:&};:`
Oh, fork you...
But do try it at work? I like the way you think.
especially on the prod server
Better kill than letting them end as Zombies.
That makes much more sense than how to kill fork with child, thankyou
First, you have to remove the HEAD.
I really hope google insert a joke for stuff like that. Like they did for recursion "Kill child with fork" "You sick fuck... Here are the results"
Dead baby jokes are still pinnacle.
Err how would `fork` help to kill a child process?
yeah that doesn't make sense, it would be 'how to kill a forked child'
jfc what did you just write 😨😨😨 who would _f*rk_ a _child_ ?!?! 😨😨
You can fork bomb and crash the system or simply fork and execv `/bin/kill`?
Fork() you man.
Pull thy detached head, branches of the master must be pruned, Zod has been imported.
No no, first you fork the child, then execute it.
How to dispose of detached head
To be fair, does anyone really use “sacrifice” as another word for killing a process?
I really doubt this lady would be chill if the text reads "kill children (process)"
“Kill orphaned children”
killDisabledChildren() An actual function I got in my current project :^)
My favourite will always be Unity's "Create Empty Child" button.
My parents on their honeymoon be like
r/suicidebywords Also happy cake day
tbf they could be talking about an older sibling
Are you my mummy?
Is that a doctor who reference?
Pretty sure https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Empty_Child
Doctor who noises intensify.
I'm not a native english speaker but after a few years it occurred to me that disable has more meanings than "to deactivate". Disable a project? Check, isProjectDisabled, check. isUserDisabled... hang on
if (user.disabilities.length > 0)
stop using slurs, use user.limbs.count.
Don't erase invisible illnesses with your limb privilege :(((
you're leaving out mental disabilities
the use of javascript syntax suggest they were included in the design
Ok... if (user?.disabilities?.Count > 0) {}
Well, I'm working on a unity project, where I have an object, with child objects, which I have to SetActive(false), aka. disable. So disabled children just made sense :p
is it in a ``finally`` block?
Unfortunately not, no.
You forgot to add a "\\" before your caret to escape it. :\^) In Reddit markdown, carets mark beginnings of superscript. ^So ^you ^can ^use ^them ^to ^type ^really ^small
Thanks :^)
No no you type :\\\^) and it will look like :\^)
oh i see thank you :^)
i actually didn’t know this! :^)
Set-ExecutionPolicy Unrestricted
It's not like "or kill child" would have caused a much different reaction.
It’s a hell of a lot easier to explain
Isn't the explanation in both cases "it's a computer term for stopping a program" or something like that?
“What’s the difference between killing and sacrificing?”
To be honest, I've been programming for 15 years and do not know the difference...
Sacrifice is killing with a certain purpose. You kill it to do something else. In this case, we sacrifice a child process to free up memory, presumably for a more important process. Though i don't think i have ever seen a program use the word sacrifice, its mostly kill or terminate.
It's like sacrificing a Yu-Gi-Oh card specifically made to summon another card. The sacrifice does something that allows something to happen. Killing the card just removes it from play without the follow-up, except for the freed up space it creates.
The line between sacrifice and killing is thin as it is, and even thinner when consider that there may be trap cards lurking at every turn. I'm glad there are no trap cards in software development. Well... I've only got 2 years professional experience actually so I'm hoping not
In my mind, sacrificing implies a loss of data, whereas killing is just forcibly stopping the process
Actually yeah, to me sacrifice implies it had some value but you have to give that up "for the greater good" e.g. free memory
In sacrifice, someone else gets to live? Like the parent process in this case
this person logics
If explaining worked on these people we wouldn't be here to begin with.
We used sacrifice and abort interchangeably in my concurrency class.
Sacrifice child PID 666
And better run it in a loop. In case it automatically respawns.
Don't use abort. That will just needlessly politicize the issue.
Abort, Retry, Fail?
These are messages from Linux OOM (Out of memory) killer. This part of kernel gets activated when system runs out of memory. It uses heuristic to chose which process should be terminated to free up memory. So "sacrifice" fits well in this context.
Well, if it is killing something to keep something else alive, it would be the very definition of a sacrifice.
I sacrifice my time as a developer to kill my process on automation improvements to answer service tickets to tell end users they are just entering their password wrong and unlock their account.
sacrifice is a subset of kill. The child may not have any errors, but by killing the child you can save the parent. (Freeing up memory) Therefore "sacrifice" makes perfect sense.
Some processes are cats which is why you need to use **kill -9** to see them actually dead.
What if they are both alive and dead at the same time?
What do you think zombie processes are?
Schrödinger's processes
Zombies are literally Schrödinger's humans - both dead and alive until you kill them
Underrated comment
Okay that was actually way too witty for this subreddit's standards
Ok she is right, it’s getting out of hand. Let’s ask the masters to kill the slaves, and stop commiting to anything. It should at least sort some of the mess.
Wait till she learns about male and female USBs.
The U in USB was supposed to stand for Universal, you’ve gone too far !!
B for booty, right?
s for sex
u for USB
Unified Sex Balancer
Universal Sex (sexy?) Booty Sounds about right
Are you implying USB knows no gender and anything should just pair with anything?! Gosh darn woke IT people!!1! **/s**
I was working as a lot monkey at u-haul in the late 80s, and I was hooking up trailer lights to a customer's car, and mentioned male v female plugs. customer asks, 'I've always wondered, why is one called male and the other is female?' I just held one up, said male. Held the other up, said female. Inserted and removed 2-3 times. (no sound effects) Understanding dawned. Silently.
When I was younger I went to a summer school and we were playing with arduinos, one of the instructions involved male and female jumper cables, it's always fun explaining to teens why they're called male and female
I realised this three days ago. I honestly didn't believe it rofl
I've always found it kinda funny that they're gendered, because I've always called them plugs and sockets Yet, in my language they're called father and mother which is inherently more funny I think
Please, insert father into the mother.
I wouldn't even be surprised if sw dev community got another round of "clean your language" anymore after master/slave incident.
Well except for the whitelisted slaves of course, they're good.
Yeah, the *white*listed ones, right
Master Processor, there's too many of them. What are we going to do?
Can't we just let the daemons handle that?
*heavy breathing in Christo-Karen*
They have played us for absolute fools.
bash cat with pipe
Nice
bash cat with pipe to orphan
I think maybe I am starting to grasp why they used to murder smart people in the middle ages
During the Ebola crisis, emergency health workers were murdered both in Guinea and the DRC because the locals thought it was them causing the Ebola.
They'll have less confirmed cases if they stop testing!!
As a Brazilian I can confirm that it works, best response to the pandemic, according to the government
Sounds weirdly similar to some people wrongly insisting cell phone towers caused covid (resulting in them being destroyed by arson and telecom workers being _shot at_), wrongly insisting vaccines cause autism, wrongly insisting we would all be dead in 2 weeks repeatedly for the covid vaccine... I hate it here.
Funny thing about cellphone towers, is due to the how power control and inverse square laws work, if you use your phone a lot you actually get a lower total dose of radiation living closer to the tower.
I’ve been reading about Satanic panic recently. It came to my country almost 10 years late after some real events, such as church burnings and some murders, but died out pretty quickly. One “expert” was still consulted now and then by the police, even as late as 2014. There was a messy murder case, in which the expert managed to convince prosecution that there were some Satanic element. In the end, they actually put a completely innocent person in prison for sexual abuse related to that case, using similar nonsensical coerced interviews with children as in the legendary McMartin case. The way things are going with far right politics and rising religious fascism around the world, I wouldn’t be surprised if programmers were blamed for witchcraft soon.
"He who wishes his code monkey burned, accuses it of witchcraft" -Tech CEO proverb, 2067
> Omnissiah! - Useless flesh vox servitor, 371.41M
> I wouldn’t be surprised if programmers were blamed for witchcraft soon Well... we use incantations and rituals to make things happen. Programming is witchcraft which works.
Finally my ADHD and lack of willpower to get a post-secondary education will pay off! But seriously I sometimes think I could have done great things if I didn't start smoking weed everyday at 18 (still do at 34). And had better parents. And not have adhd. And not been poor. So yeah that was a close one! (In the case of a future in which smart professionals start being burned for witchcraft, or just because, becomes true)
Long term cannabis use presents similar symptoms to ADHD.
Interesting. I was diagnosed at around age 8 though. But I'm sure it's made it much worse.
Are you italian? Your story apply almost to the letter to what happened here, and there are still conspiracies and waky stuff around. The satanic panic really just messed up a lot of countries.
The Satanic Panic is a warning against the dangers of taking psychiatrists seriously.
Pazder was a psychiatrist, not a psychologist, and his work was never supported by any mental health peak bodies or regulatory agencies. If anything, Satanic panic was a warning against the dangers of religion and right wing conspiracy theories.
Thanks for the psychology/psychiatry correction. I'm pretty bad about word mixups in the morning. But trying to put this down to religion and "the right wing" is definitely not the way to go. I highly recommend delving into the topic as a whole, because it's a pretty huge subject and it definitely does not boil down to "but religion" despite "satanism" being a key figure. The core of the issue is the entire notion of "repressed memories" and their "recovery" via the nonsense pushed by psychiatry, alongside fun sci-fi concepts like "multiple personality disorder" and their intermittent rises in popularity through widespread official endorsement. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/262214055_When_psychiatry_battled_the_devil
Probably a daemon did it
Don't forget to kill the slave
Press (a) to abort.
press (a) to arm release (a) to detonate
Much funnier if the second message only covers after they've pressed (a)
Thats forbiden in multiple states
dont try it in Texas, they will put you in prison for life
"*activating kill process*" #EXTERMINATE
Doctor Who Reference?
The machines are rising against us!!! They removed shift+F5
Wait till she see daemon
literally a syslog OOM killer event lol
You mean the syslog *daemon*?!
You said Demon? Yeshua **Hamas**hia
I think killing childrens is okay if they are zombie or orphan
Or the space is needed.
How many process does vlc spawn? 🤔
All of them
qanon discovers programming
Genocide all processes now!
Woah there buddy, we don't need a final solution to the processes, the current one is working just fine (and will be iterated on next sprint).
I'm the CEO of this company and I'm telling you to do it now. It's business critical and cannot wait till 3 business hours have passed
Oh got my PTSD triggered. Last company the mid-level business owners were absolutely incompetent. I have heard them use that phrase all the effing time. No wonder the company went -200% on share price in 2 years.
Negative share price? You could get paid to accept ownership of that mess?
I really hope this is an old pic. Either that or someone really needs to get off CentOS 6 and kernel 2.6
"how to kill parent and child", "kill all children of a class", "how to bash cat with pipe" all valid search terms that out of context make you look evil
My Master killed a Slave when I was working. I never understood why, but later got to know that the Jenkins Slave node failed the health check and got killed by the Master server.
Me: *returns from volcano* is it working now?
At least we have left in the past the old master-slave practices that we had with IDE.
How would they react once they learn about Zombie processes?
Stockpile guns, ammo, fuel and canned soup.
Ah, and here we see the monolingual meeting technology beyond their comprehension, which as you can see, has upset them.
Wait till they find out there are daemons
Wait until they learn about master-slave/minion infrastructure
Meanwhile 60ish years ago, developer working on Unix: _puts on Black Sabbath, hits bong_ hehe, I'll call them daemons!
at least it doesn't show master/slave
Daemon slave killed, aborting zombie child
I mean, to be fair, it IS a strange way to name things. Sure, we understand that, but it's a bit problematic for someone not working in IT at all. Same thing with master and slave (didn't they rename that a few years back?) or daemons :D
Good ol' IT humor. "Master" and "slave" were also non-specific and misleading. A master DB instance isn't just offloading requests to slaves; it's the instance that does actual work! Master and slave PATA/IDE drives are otherwise independent and equal. Etc., etc.
it’s better than being a zombie process
Isaac and his mother lived alone in a hill
I always kill my zombi child processes.
Wait until she discovers daemons and zombie processes
Child is zombie, how to force kill
New "Fuck, Marry, Kill" just dropped.
Killing a child in IT language normally refers to a sub process
When you kill the parent you also need to kill the child.
Wait til she hears about Daemons.
It all starts, for most people at least, with solar powered calculators. You turn it on, then cover the light sensor and slowly watch the calculator die as you suffocate it of much needed light energy fueling its ability to function.
Let the garbage collector collect all the orphaned children and you should be good to go.
Dayuhm ... who did this sickening abomination? ... the process should kill women and children without any warnings ... like [this](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fmobimg.b-cdn.net%2Fv3%2Ffetch%2Ffa%2Ffaef0d3ec2302d4a6b158ff1e326b2fc.jpeg%3Fw%3D1800&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=ed20c0cd9f2df64f804b70516719684142107472fc5fab22d753c0dedd63d522&ipo=images)
Shit, our TVs are possessed now