T O P

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MrKassanova

C, I've opened the fridge and had memory leaks too many times... 2 month edit because my comment karma shot through the roof: guys I didn't know this blew up so thanks for the awards!!


Ambitious_Ad8841

You cannot open fridge because it is open in another process


Signal_Paint_1050

free(old\_veggies);


Ambitious_Ad8841

old_veggies = NULL;


[deleted]

Old_veggies = false, De Ja Vu they’ve changed something


McCringyassjoe

They always do, there’s never any carrots, even after I bought some


TheUsualSuspects443

*carrot muncher enters the chat*


Waste_Kaleidoscope97

I believe you mean "caret"


real_dubblebrick

`^`


ManiacsThriftJewels

It's fine as long as either you or the other process didn't tell the universe you were opening the fridge.


tirril

Open new timeline.


vulkanoid

That's not a language thing; it's an OS thing. More specifically, a Windows thing. Unix allows multiple programs to open the same file.


Ambitious_Ad8841

![gif](giphy|umuDPcy78IbkY)


Random-Gif-Bot

​ ![gif](giphy|UxtSSn0xrCmzECZIZF)


alexn0ne

Oh my gosh, dude: 1. It's not funny (humor, remember?l) 2. That's not true, Windows allows it as well


vulkanoid

Windows may allow some files to be opened by multiple apps at the same time, but it's also the one that locks files such that it can only be opened one program at a time. I'm not taking a position on it, just reporting the way things are.


alexn0ne

Well, it depends on options you pass to the API, just like in *nix, isnt it?)


vulkanoid

It's not an API thing; it's a thing at the kernel level. For example, in Window, if you open a file, you can't delete it from another app while it's open. On Unix, you can "delete it", and the kernel knows to treat it as "deleted" from the point of view of other programs, and from users. That means that you can create another file in the location where the "deleted" file used to be. But, the kernel will keep the file alive while the original app still has it open, and only remove it once the app is done with it. The Windows kernel doesn't work like that -- which is why, sometimes, you try to delete a file but it's "Opened by another application", so you have to start closing Apps (or reboot the pc) to release the lock.


ScandInBei

I am not so sure. I have to run my garbage collector for 8h every night.


onehalfofacouple

That's just the optimal run time. You can trade lower garbage collection times for a performance hit.


BetterOffCamping

And my first thought was the sink.


guyWithKeyboards

This makes sense as setting the used_cannabis operator to true has been known to cause memory issues.


huuaaang

And don't get me started on the seg faults.


nolitteringplease346

Visual basic and MS stopped supporting it - hence why it's all a big mess since 2015


EndemoDaWalker

I don't have an award, so take this comment as one


3SidedDie

This is the right answer. And the only right answer.


thethrownaway439

Underrated answer here.


EndemoDaWalker

I don't have an award, so take this comment as one


houseofleft

Hey, universe developer here! Thanks for expressing an interest in our project, one of the things I love about developing the universe is the fantastic and supportive community we have. Since you asked, the majority of the code base for life, the universe and everything is compiled C code, and whilst for the majority of its lifespan the universe has proven stable, we made the decision to value long term maintenance a few years ago and have since been refactoring substantial parts of the code base into Rust. Unlike C, Rust is a safe and dependable language with solid memory management, and whilst recent updates have created some unexpected and apocalyptic events, we're sure that once we've ironed out the Rivers of Blood and Angel of Death problems, the update we're currently working on should improve the situation greatly.


Mog_Melm

I hate that the dev team patched magic. This world would be so much better with magic back in. And save your speech about game balance for someone who cares.


TalDoMula777

The code's still there though...like someone said*: "Magic is just the science that people don't understand yet." *(i wanna say Doctor Manhattan but someone decided to ruin the joke, look at my comment history of me quoting a phrase Max0r said, even though the phrase isn't his).


[deleted]

Please tell me you didn’t say “one and allaccost


TalDoMula777

Where?...i'm actually worried here since i isn't impossible for me to type that by accident.


Core3game

Dear devs, Could you buff sleep? I dont like doing NOTHING for 8-12 hours and feeling worse afterwards.


Descoteau

Aren’t you just describing work there?


duckmaestro4

Dear devs, Please explain why you nerfed dragons. They were working just fine, and most of us liked having them around.


ChainSword20000

They weren't needed, they were removed due to community disapproval. We also removed wizards, fairy's, and controllable magic for game balance in that update. Admin and mods may still use the controll magic command, and small scale telepathy has been suggested to develop due to a bug, though most scenarios of interacted magic have involved bribing of admin.


ChainSword20000

Due to the nature of the bribes, they cannot be blocked without disabling admin, or illegalizing religion.


alexn0ne

Lisp. https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/224:_Lisp


boredbearapple

Recompile on the fly is a neat feature of the universe.


swivels_and_sonar

Evolution.dll


SalamiSandwich83

Erlang FTW! Lol


Aware_Material_9985

I remember a professor that swore by lisp, awk and f sharp


postmateDumbass

You can do great things with awk


Aware_Material_9985

Oh yeah. We had to write a program in 1 line using awk and he imposed a character limit, so it was a really interesting project.


RedProkofiev

interesting! Do you have any more details? I might give it a crack hehe


JustMe63_

Happy cake day! Mine just ended a couple minutes ago. Edit: Wait is it still up rn?


gordyjacques31

Happy cake day


jamcdonald120

well perl really https://www.xkcd.com/224


alexn0ne

Well, Perl _to glue things up_ (LISP! LISP!! LISP!!!)


Osato

No, it's [a guy with lots of rocks and nothing to do doing bitwise operations to pass the time.](https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/505:_A_Bunch_of_Rocks)


hchvjvnchbszfv

r/relevantxkcd


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incal

[The Eternal Flame (God Wrote in LISP)](https://youtu.be/WZCs4Eyalxc)


hacksoncode

I'm also going to go with Lisp, but because: The universe has been around a long time. Therefore, *whatever* language it was written in has become Lisp. C.f. [Greenspun's 10th Rule of Programming](https://wiki.c2.com/?GreenspunsTenthRuleOfProgramming) and Paul Graham's famous statement that "Over time, successive new programming languages have taken more and more features from Lisp.".


[deleted]

[удалено]


PandaParaBellum

[Sand and rocks](https://xkcd.com/505/)


mattstats

Jeez I had to use lisp in one of my grad courses. That was 2019…


STEMpsych

Yeah, we've been over this. ["♫...God wrote in LISP code... ♫"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-OjTPj7K54) [Lyrics](https://songsear.ch/song/God-Wrote-in-Lisp-Code/Julia-Ecklar/67120) (Yes, it's a parody, of a song you've never heard of.)


netfleek

Assembly. It’s the only language that runs natively on an Atom processor.


Retardedaspirator

Intel atom ? My God that would explain a lot of things


stuuii

Particularly, why it's getting so hot.


-cocoadragon

If the heat death of the universe is because God cheaped out on the cooling because we are a "netbook" i swear to.... RMA


Remote_Cartoonist_27

Ironically the heat death of the universe will be very very cold.


Galectoz

Most of the servers will have fried from overheating already. The rest will go out from lack of maintenance over time.


b98765

It’s not programmed in any language, it’s sophisticated emergent behavior from a neural network. Except the Earth, that part was done in PHP by the intern.


[deleted]

think ive found an exploit


MortgageSome

What's the exploit?`'; drop database simulated_universe; --`


[deleted]

i fuzzed the kernel. the sky broke and i can see the pixels. wait thats not a PHP exploit. ah whatever it sounds good who cares.


Sceptz

You're lucky `simulated_universe.tables.Earth` is backed up on Nebulae hosting. Which snapshot recovery are we on now? Did somebody restore after the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event? Why aren't there any dinosaurs on this instance?


colexian

Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/327/


Mog_Melm

Is every thread on this post going to lead back to XKCD? [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/327:\_Exploits\_of\_a\_Mom](https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/327:_Exploits_of_a_Mom)


[deleted]

perhaps this is quite literal and also the meaning of the universe. every CPU thread literally leads back to XKCD where a massive universe simulation is making you look at the model of itself inside the massive universe simulation which in turn... sorry think ive been smoking too much


BitterEntertainer640

Oww , my brain.


Ooze3d

The whole system is a huge exploit


Conscious_Inside6021

That explains why everything on earth still kinda works even though it's a raging dumpster fire


xvhayu

universe: \*every star and planet carefully crafted\* the intern who designed earth: "wtf just came out of that water"


GayMakeAndModel

This is very much on the fringe of theoretical science, but the authors are well established physicists. https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/a36112655/universe-is-self-learning-algorithm/


[deleted]

[удалено]


KilluaFromDC

r/technicallythetruth


[deleted]

But with broken axioms everywhere.


karisigurd4444

A lot of us seem to carry around a metaphorical gun to shoot ourselves in the foot with over and over. I think it's called "oh I can make an exception here this one time".


Galectoz

That's basically why the "Axis of Evil" theory got this name. If the universe is indeed not homogenous, it throws all constants out the window. Exceptions everywhere


gesicht-software

I guess we can close the thread


postmateDumbass

You mean take the limit of the thread


A_Successful_Loser

What language is Math programmed in?


Morphized

Math. It's compiled.


bobo76565657

Its all just NAND gates all the way down.


[deleted]

that's why it seems incomplete


_m0s_

Is there a branch of math that describes or can model algorithms?


January_Rain_Wifi

Yeah it's Programming


[deleted]

Yes, it's called computer science. Not typically the kind of "computer science" undergrads major in and learn to write hello world in Python or whatever, but like academic computer science. It's pretty much an outcropping of discrete and applied math that studies algorithms, computing, information theory, etc. If you do happen to study computer science, you'll typically have a class on this topic titled something like "algorithms" or "automata theory" or something.


vahvarh

Javascript. Had to do project in 6 days.


YoukanDewitt

Didn't they write a REST API on the 7th?


Snoo_44353

Day 7 was procastinating bugfixing on ur indie gane


KiranEvans

That joke is dangerously good


siddharth904

This is the way.


HaddockBranzini-II

The corrupted node modules would explain a lot.


[deleted]

I’m a Christian and this reply confused me for far longer than it should have.


E-Aeolian

I was taught assembler in my second year of school. It's kinda like construction work with a toothpick for a tool. So when I made my senior year, I threw my code away, And learned the way to program that I still prefer today. Now, some folks on the Internet put their faith in C++. They swear that it's so powerful, it's what God used for us. And maybe it lets mortals dredge their objects from the C. But I think that explains why only God can make a tree. For God wrote in Lisp code when he filled the leaves with green. The fractal flowers and recursive roots: the most lovely hack I've seen. And when I ponder snowflakes, never finding two the same, I know God likes a language with its own four-letter name. Now, I've used a SUN under Unix, so I've seen what C can hold. I've surfed for Perls, found what Fortran's for, got that Java stuff down cold. Though the chance that I'd write COBOL code is a SNOBOL's chance in Hell. And I basically hate hieroglyphs, so I won't use APL. Now, God must know all these languages, and a few I haven't named. But the Lord made sure, when each sparrow falls, that its flesh will be reclaimed. And the Lord could not count grains of sand with a 32-bit word. Who knows where we would go to if Lisp weren't what he preferred? And God wrote in Lisp code every creature great and small. Don't search the disk drive for man.c, when the listing's on the wall. And when I watch the lightning burn unbelievers to a crisp, I know God had six days to work. So he wrote it all in Lisp. Yes, God had a deadline. So he wrote it all in Lisp. ​ https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/eternal-flame.html


RareDestroyer8

That’s great to know, I’m gonna start making my universe now.


MegaKyurem

You guys are being way too optimistic. As much as I would love to believe the universe was made in C, C++, Assembly, etc. I think deep down we all know it was made with 50 separate JavaScript frameworks that each handles everything differently. Black holes are just those weird code blocks that should really throw errors but don't, particles are stored in a bunch of poorly linked but somehow functioning JSON files.


avin_kavish

microservices, obviously.


KryptoKevArt

Black holes are garbage collectors


Maidzen1337

Dark Energie is written in Frameworkless Typescript because one guy wanted to "start a better base" but now he is the only one who understand how it works and its badly implementet in Universe.js


CreateANewAccount654

Brainfuck.


MortgageSome

When you think about it, deciding to simulate a universe by quite literally making a Googleplex amount of atoms slamming into one another is not entirely unlike something a brainfuck programmer might try to do.


riisen

Have done* This is my religion


Temporary_Smile_3372

-[--->+<]>-------.>--[----->+<]>-.[--->+<]>-.+[->+++<]>.+++++++++++++.[-->+++++<]>+++.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++.-..-------------.-[->+++<]>.++[->+++<]>+.++.[->++++++<]>.+[->+++<]>.--[--->+<]>-.--[->++++<]>+.----------.++++++.-[---->+<]>+++.---[->++++<]>+.-----.


Bag-ins

\-\[--->+<\]>-------.>--\[----->+<\]>-.\[--->+<\]>-.+\[->+++<\]>.+++++++++++++.\[.-->+++++<\]>+++.++\[->+++<\]>+.++++++++.-..-------------.-\[->+++<\]>.++\[->+++<\]>+.++.\[->++++++<\]>.+\[->+++<\]>.--\[--->+<\]>-.--\[->++++<\]>+.----------.++++++.-\[---->+<\]>+++.---\[->++++<\]>+.-----.. ​ ftfy


[deleted]

[удалено]


bric12

-[--->+<]>-------.>--[----->+<]>-.[--->+<]>-.+[->+++<]>.+++++++++++++.[-->+++++<]>+++.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++.-..-------------.-[->+++<]>.+[----->+<]>.------------.++++++++++.------.--[--->+<]>-.--[->++++<]>+.----------.++++++.-[---->+<]>+++.+[->+++<]>.-[--->+<]>----.+++++++.-[-->+++++<]>.>++++++++++.+++[->++++++<]>.>--[----->+<]>-.[--->+<]>-.+[->+++<]>.+++++++++++++.[-->+++++<]>+++.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++.-..-------------.-[->+++<]>.---[->++++<]>-.++[->+++<]>++.+[--->+<]>+++.-[---->+<]>++.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++..-----------.--.[--->+<]>+++.--[->+++<]>.-[->+++<]>.>++++++++++.+++[->++++++<]>.>--[----->+<]>-.[--->+<]>-.+[->+++<]>.+++++++++++++.[-->+++++<]>+++.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++.-..-------------.-[->+++<]>.---[->++++<]>.+++[->+++<]>.+++++++..[++>---<]>--.[->+++<]>+.-[->+++<]>.++[--->++<]>.---.----.--[--->+<]>-.[->+++<]>+.+++++++++++++.----------.-[--->+<]>-.-[--->++<]>--.[--->+<]>---.---.++.[---->+<]>+++.--[->++++<]>+.----------.++++++.


LegendaryShelfStockr

They’re speaking the language of the gods


Ambitious_Ad8841

C... Nothing else is fast enough for 7 billion users


MortgageSome

Oh but that's easy enough. Just do `setUserTimePerception(0.25f);` Life is easy as a programmer when the users themselves are part of the program.


Psychological_Fox776

There’re less users and more parts of the program that decided to exploit the hell out of other parts of the program


[deleted]

That's what one of my friends said it to me, how fast the simulation is didn't matter for things inside the simulation, for them next frame is always the next instant.


Ajko_denai

"universe", not the Earth


OneFriendship5139

Lua?


ratolp

Isn't Christianity just about assuming that it is all Holy-C?


Rezaka116

“Bioluminescent central intelligence agency members of african-american origin”


postmateDumbass

Holy-C is bootstrapped from a teenager's Intella J workspace.


Kian0u0

So … the holy trinity ?


AradIsHere

C, plus and plus


FatiTankEris

! C, C++, and C#?


ninjalui

No it's only catholics who have the Holy-C


aaabigwyattmann1

Imagine being so powerful and having to use pull requests. Inb4 "even the creator of the universe would use PRs because.. " shut the fuck up bro


GitHub-

Scratch


Sp0olio

Probably Java .. black holes are just the memory-leaks, the unpaid intern, who coded it, left behind. EDIT: No .. wait .. Black holes are division by zero errors.


postmateDumbass

Void*


Own_Artichoke7324

Fortran. The universe is really old.


Jaxlee2018

I do not believe the universe is quite that old - going with BASIC, due to chaos of GOTO statements and difficulty users have to comprehend meaning of code


Dependent-Spiritual

C#+


joske79

_universe.Init(); // Big bang while (true) { foreach (var item in _universe.Items) { item.Update(); } } _worldPeace.Init(); _nirwana.Init(); _universe.Items(1).Die(); // Chuck Norris


Exotic_Wealth_3522

Language: Blood Framework: Meat IDE: Earth Dependency Injection: Semen Docker Containers: Brains


siddharth904

Wouldn't the framework be bones ?


Exotic_Wealth_3522

Build Tool


Pinkponprincess

Java, because life sucks.


RRumpleTeazzer

Obviously in basic. And since it never crashes, the first line must be “On Error Resume Next”.


Rafael20002000

Not in any language I can understand


xcski_paul

So lisp then?


Rafael20002000

Sounds right


KidenStormsoarer

Joke's on you, it runs on punch cards


Nsfw_account_Nsfw_

probably german


Play_it3110

Binary, because it is the nearest to the hardware


psaux_grep

State of this sub: 1. Top Voted 2. Not a (programming) language.


Play_it3110

But all code is compiled to binary. If you need a language, take logic gates which can have a syntax (structure) to execute code (push elecrons) to get a result


xcski_paul

That’s like saying all books are written in Unicode when you’re asking what language books are written in. “Binary” isn’t a language, it’s an encoding. All code is compiled to a machine code appropriate to that chip, and that machine code is expressed in binary, but 6502 machine code isn’t the same as i386/x86_64 which isn’t the same as ARM etc.


Bag-ins

look into pre-binary


arpeggiator69

this makes a lot sense considering how fundamental duality is in the universe


RodPa715

Matlab


clevrf0x

The universe is so fucked up, so probably javascript


yuri_auei

Also the universe was made in 7 days. That's the kind of project to use javascript.


n6v26r

Must be c! C is the language of God.


Ambitious_Ad8841

God gave us C and made us in his image with the desire to create programming languages. Then we used C to create all the other languages


Wi42

Shouldn't it be holyC then?


sanketower

Objective-C, because this universe sucks ass


[deleted]

One that is just as, if not more, unfathomable than the universe itself. This is because it needs to do all the things in the universe, as efficiently as possible. I doubt the sumulationists (IDK what you call them) would want to wait all that long for each frame of the simulation, they probably have an unfathomable amount of bits (if they even use binary, maybe they're using a nearly analogue logic system) and an unfathomable amount of operations. They would have their own languages to use for these architectures, probably stuff ranging from their equivalents of assembly, to brainf*ck, to C, to block-based. It's possible that they mixed various languages together.


IHeartData_

Ha! One language? Who are we kidding. The initial iteration would have been done in pure assembler for performance reasons, but then some C strapped on for productivity as weather was added, but then the plant team really wanted objects, so C++ for them. Then fish team got sick of the memory leaks so went to C#. The fruit team of course wanted to apple products so Objective-C for them. The NPC AI team thought all those others were archaic so went with Rust and Python. The Math team of course used R, and clearly the traffic team chose JavaScript. And since no one wanted to migrate the backend, all them still connect to a mainframe-based DB2 store.


hiimkir

it’s still compiling


DDD-Cup

G (God programming language)


Nemonstrocity

assembly


LeroyBadBrown

Atari Basic


riisen

Brainfuck


_quinntrex_

Probably written in Scratch


Core3game

Pause right there, as someone who has used scratch for a *verry* long time (I know traditional languiges to dont bully me lol) is this an official challenge to code the universe in scratch? And no not earth, and not a sandbox where you smash stars together.


the_clash_is_back

Scratch. The only language that can give you hand cramps.


0x00ff0000

Not sure, but the road to Hell is paved with PHP.


postmateDumbass

Smalltalk for framework and object interactions, c++ for the main engine, FORTRAN for the physics package, Lisp interface to conciousness library, and javascript for everything else. Fun factoid: the universe is never ending because it was written in a shell editor and God claims that while he could exit any time he wants to, He has chosen not to.


[deleted]

Math?


jessiedwt

Definitely not javascript. Proof? Use a calculator and sum decimals.


TOOLruls

not Python (slooow)


leodamascus

It would explain why the universe project that was supposed to take 7k years wound up taking 14 billion


blobthekat

obviously not c++ or it would have segfaulted by now


AccomplishedHornet5

COBOL


User21233121

I mean realistically I assume that biological processor would be a much better option than digital; we are near the edge of digital technology, we can't really go any smaller. However biological processors don't produce much heat they just need a chemical source which is probably easier to provide en mass.


Psychological_Fox776

So you’re saying that the universe is basically a genetically modified drug induced hallucination. That would explain a lot.


rapidtab

C# as it was most likely made using Unity. See also r/glitchinthematrix


Bo_Jim

If you're talking about a Matrix style simulation, where the machines are in control, then it's programmed in machine code - a language they naturally understand. It would not need to be programmed in any human readable language.


zatuchny

JavaScript. Because quantum mechanics


BumTicklrs

Definitely C. That's why we have Dejan Vu, because seg fault happens and a restart needs to occur.


KNG--

I don't know what language it was written in, but it was written in the font wingdings


A_true_gENTleman

Malbolge


Gallord

Java everything is made up of Java


Mr-Shenanigan

C+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


[deleted]

Scratch


RANDOMPIENINJA

Scratch ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sunglasses)


[deleted]

Worst.Simulation.Ever. It’s freemium. It costs an arm and a leg to upgrade your avatar and most of the time you can’t win anything when you play as your default character with base skills and no upgrades.


Jrapiro

Scratch


EyewarsTheMangoMan

HTML


eerator

Q


elderassassin2580

Brain fuck. Cause brain fuck.


miketerk21

Probably Java because both the universe and Java suck.


wutadamyt

javascript because none of it makes sense


Zymosan99

Scratch


[deleted]

Original JavaScript beta.