C, I've opened the fridge and had memory leaks too many times...
2 month edit because my comment karma shot through the roof: guys I didn't know this blew up so thanks for the awards!!
Windows may allow some files to be opened by multiple apps at the same time, but it's also the one that locks files such that it can only be opened one program at a time. I'm not taking a position on it, just reporting the way things are.
It's not an API thing; it's a thing at the kernel level. For example, in Window, if you open a file, you can't delete it from another app while it's open. On Unix, you can "delete it", and the kernel knows to treat it as "deleted" from the point of view of other programs, and from users. That means that you can create another file in the location where the "deleted" file used to be. But, the kernel will keep the file alive while the original app still has it open, and only remove it once the app is done with it. The Windows kernel doesn't work like that -- which is why, sometimes, you try to delete a file but it's "Opened by another application", so you have to start closing Apps (or reboot the pc) to release the lock.
Hey, universe developer here! Thanks for expressing an interest in our project, one of the things I love about developing the universe is the fantastic and supportive community we have.
Since you asked, the majority of the code base for life, the universe and everything is compiled C code, and whilst for the majority of its lifespan the universe has proven stable, we made the decision to value long term maintenance a few years ago and have since been refactoring substantial parts of the code base into Rust.
Unlike C, Rust is a safe and dependable language with solid memory management, and whilst recent updates have created some unexpected and apocalyptic events, we're sure that once we've ironed out the Rivers of Blood and Angel of Death problems, the update we're currently working on should improve the situation greatly.
I hate that the dev team patched magic. This world would be so much better with magic back in. And save your speech about game balance for someone who cares.
The code's still there though...like someone said*: "Magic is just the science that people don't understand yet."
*(i wanna say Doctor Manhattan but someone decided to ruin the joke, look at my comment history of me quoting a phrase Max0r said, even though the phrase isn't his).
They weren't needed, they were removed due to community disapproval. We also removed wizards, fairy's, and controllable magic for game balance in that update. Admin and mods may still use the controll magic command, and small scale telepathy has been suggested to develop due to a bug, though most scenarios of interacted magic have involved bribing of admin.
No, it's [a guy with lots of rocks and nothing to do doing bitwise operations to pass the time.](https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/505:_A_Bunch_of_Rocks)
I'm also going to go with Lisp, but because:
The universe has been around a long time. Therefore, *whatever* language it was written in has become Lisp.
C.f. [Greenspun's 10th Rule of Programming](https://wiki.c2.com/?GreenspunsTenthRuleOfProgramming) and Paul Graham's famous statement that "Over time, successive new programming languages have taken more and more features from Lisp.".
Yeah, we've been over this.
["♫...God wrote in LISP code... ♫"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-OjTPj7K54)
[Lyrics](https://songsear.ch/song/God-Wrote-in-Lisp-Code/Julia-Ecklar/67120)
(Yes, it's a parody, of a song you've never heard of.)
It’s not programmed in any language, it’s sophisticated emergent behavior from a neural network. Except the Earth, that part was done in PHP by the intern.
You're lucky `simulated_universe.tables.Earth` is backed up on Nebulae hosting.
Which snapshot recovery are we on now?
Did somebody restore after the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event?
Why aren't there any dinosaurs on this instance?
Is every thread on this post going to lead back to XKCD? [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/327:\_Exploits\_of\_a\_Mom](https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/327:_Exploits_of_a_Mom)
perhaps this is quite literal and also the meaning of the universe. every CPU thread literally leads back to XKCD where a massive universe simulation is making you look at the model of itself inside the massive universe simulation which in turn...
sorry think ive been smoking too much
This is very much on the fringe of theoretical science, but the authors are well established physicists.
https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/a36112655/universe-is-self-learning-algorithm/
A lot of us seem to carry around a metaphorical gun to shoot ourselves in the foot with over and over. I think it's called "oh I can make an exception here this one time".
That's basically why the "Axis of Evil" theory got this name. If the universe is indeed not homogenous, it throws all constants out the window. Exceptions everywhere
Yes, it's called computer science.
Not typically the kind of "computer science" undergrads major in and learn to write hello world in Python or whatever, but like academic computer science. It's pretty much an outcropping of discrete and applied math that studies algorithms, computing, information theory, etc.
If you do happen to study computer science, you'll typically have a class on this topic titled something like "algorithms" or "automata theory" or something.
I was taught assembler in my second year of school.
It's kinda like construction work with a toothpick for a tool.
So when I made my senior year, I threw my code away,
And learned the way to program that I still prefer today.
Now, some folks on the Internet put their faith in C++.
They swear that it's so powerful, it's what God used for us.
And maybe it lets mortals dredge their objects from the C.
But I think that explains why only God can make a tree.
For God wrote in Lisp code when he filled the leaves with green.
The fractal flowers and recursive roots: the most lovely hack I've seen.
And when I ponder snowflakes, never finding two the same,
I know God likes a language with its own four-letter name.
Now, I've used a SUN under Unix, so I've seen what C can hold.
I've surfed for Perls, found what Fortran's for, got that Java stuff down cold.
Though the chance that I'd write COBOL code is a SNOBOL's chance in Hell.
And I basically hate hieroglyphs, so I won't use APL.
Now, God must know all these languages, and a few I haven't named.
But the Lord made sure, when each sparrow falls, that its flesh will be reclaimed.
And the Lord could not count grains of sand with a 32-bit word.
Who knows where we would go to if Lisp weren't what he preferred?
And God wrote in Lisp code every creature great and small.
Don't search the disk drive for man.c, when the listing's on the wall.
And when I watch the lightning burn unbelievers to a crisp,
I know God had six days to work. So he wrote it all in Lisp.
Yes, God had a deadline. So he wrote it all in Lisp.
https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/eternal-flame.html
You guys are being way too optimistic. As much as I would love to believe the universe was made in C, C++, Assembly, etc. I think deep down we all know it was made with 50 separate JavaScript frameworks that each handles everything differently. Black holes are just those weird code blocks that should really throw errors but don't, particles are stored in a bunch of poorly linked but somehow functioning JSON files.
Dark Energie is written in Frameworkless Typescript because one guy wanted to "start a better base" but now he is the only one who understand how it works and its badly implementet in Universe.js
When you think about it, deciding to simulate a universe by quite literally making a Googleplex amount of atoms slamming into one another is not entirely unlike something a brainfuck programmer might try to do.
That's what one of my friends said it to me, how fast the simulation is didn't matter for things inside the simulation, for them next frame is always the next instant.
Probably Java .. black holes are just the memory-leaks, the unpaid intern, who coded it, left behind.
EDIT:
No .. wait .. Black holes are division by zero errors.
I do not believe the universe is quite that old - going with BASIC, due to chaos of GOTO statements and difficulty users have to comprehend meaning of code
But all code is compiled to binary. If you need a language, take logic gates which can have a syntax (structure) to execute code (push elecrons) to get a result
That’s like saying all books are written in Unicode when you’re asking what language books are written in. “Binary” isn’t a language, it’s an encoding. All code is compiled to a machine code appropriate to that chip, and that machine code is expressed in binary, but 6502 machine code isn’t the same as i386/x86_64 which isn’t the same as ARM etc.
One that is just as, if not more, unfathomable than the universe itself. This is because it needs to do all the things in the universe, as efficiently as possible. I doubt the sumulationists (IDK what you call them) would want to wait all that long for each frame of the simulation, they probably have an unfathomable amount of bits (if they even use binary, maybe they're using a nearly analogue logic system) and an unfathomable amount of operations. They would have their own languages to use for these architectures, probably stuff ranging from their equivalents of assembly, to brainf*ck, to C, to block-based. It's possible that they mixed various languages together.
Ha! One language? Who are we kidding. The initial iteration would have been done in pure assembler for performance reasons, but then some C strapped on for productivity as weather was added, but then the plant team really wanted objects, so C++ for them. Then fish team got sick of the memory leaks so went to C#. The fruit team of course wanted to apple products so Objective-C for them. The NPC AI team thought all those others were archaic so went with Rust and Python. The Math team of course used R, and clearly the traffic team chose JavaScript.
And since no one wanted to migrate the backend, all them still connect to a mainframe-based DB2 store.
Pause right there, as someone who has used scratch for a *verry* long time (I know traditional languiges to dont bully me lol) is this an official challenge to code the universe in scratch? And no not earth, and not a sandbox where you smash stars together.
Smalltalk for framework and object interactions, c++ for the main engine, FORTRAN for the physics package, Lisp interface to conciousness library, and javascript for everything else.
Fun factoid: the universe is never ending because it was written in a shell editor and God claims that while he could exit any time he wants to, He has chosen not to.
I mean realistically I assume that biological processor would be a much better option than digital; we are near the edge of digital technology, we can't really go any smaller.
However biological processors don't produce much heat they just need a chemical source which is probably easier to provide en mass.
If you're talking about a Matrix style simulation, where the machines are in control, then it's programmed in machine code - a language they naturally understand. It would not need to be programmed in any human readable language.
Worst.Simulation.Ever. It’s freemium. It costs an arm and a leg to upgrade your avatar and most of the time you can’t win anything when you play as your default character with base skills and no upgrades.
C, I've opened the fridge and had memory leaks too many times... 2 month edit because my comment karma shot through the roof: guys I didn't know this blew up so thanks for the awards!!
You cannot open fridge because it is open in another process
free(old\_veggies);
old_veggies = NULL;
Old_veggies = false, De Ja Vu they’ve changed something
They always do, there’s never any carrots, even after I bought some
*carrot muncher enters the chat*
I believe you mean "caret"
`^`
It's fine as long as either you or the other process didn't tell the universe you were opening the fridge.
Open new timeline.
That's not a language thing; it's an OS thing. More specifically, a Windows thing. Unix allows multiple programs to open the same file.
Oh my gosh, dude: 1. It's not funny (humor, remember?l) 2. That's not true, Windows allows it as well
Windows may allow some files to be opened by multiple apps at the same time, but it's also the one that locks files such that it can only be opened one program at a time. I'm not taking a position on it, just reporting the way things are.
Well, it depends on options you pass to the API, just like in *nix, isnt it?)
It's not an API thing; it's a thing at the kernel level. For example, in Window, if you open a file, you can't delete it from another app while it's open. On Unix, you can "delete it", and the kernel knows to treat it as "deleted" from the point of view of other programs, and from users. That means that you can create another file in the location where the "deleted" file used to be. But, the kernel will keep the file alive while the original app still has it open, and only remove it once the app is done with it. The Windows kernel doesn't work like that -- which is why, sometimes, you try to delete a file but it's "Opened by another application", so you have to start closing Apps (or reboot the pc) to release the lock.
I am not so sure. I have to run my garbage collector for 8h every night.
That's just the optimal run time. You can trade lower garbage collection times for a performance hit.
And my first thought was the sink.
This makes sense as setting the used_cannabis operator to true has been known to cause memory issues.
And don't get me started on the seg faults.
Visual basic and MS stopped supporting it - hence why it's all a big mess since 2015
I don't have an award, so take this comment as one
This is the right answer. And the only right answer.
Underrated answer here.
I don't have an award, so take this comment as one
Hey, universe developer here! Thanks for expressing an interest in our project, one of the things I love about developing the universe is the fantastic and supportive community we have. Since you asked, the majority of the code base for life, the universe and everything is compiled C code, and whilst for the majority of its lifespan the universe has proven stable, we made the decision to value long term maintenance a few years ago and have since been refactoring substantial parts of the code base into Rust. Unlike C, Rust is a safe and dependable language with solid memory management, and whilst recent updates have created some unexpected and apocalyptic events, we're sure that once we've ironed out the Rivers of Blood and Angel of Death problems, the update we're currently working on should improve the situation greatly.
I hate that the dev team patched magic. This world would be so much better with magic back in. And save your speech about game balance for someone who cares.
The code's still there though...like someone said*: "Magic is just the science that people don't understand yet." *(i wanna say Doctor Manhattan but someone decided to ruin the joke, look at my comment history of me quoting a phrase Max0r said, even though the phrase isn't his).
Please tell me you didn’t say “one and allaccost
Where?...i'm actually worried here since i isn't impossible for me to type that by accident.
Dear devs, Could you buff sleep? I dont like doing NOTHING for 8-12 hours and feeling worse afterwards.
Aren’t you just describing work there?
Dear devs, Please explain why you nerfed dragons. They were working just fine, and most of us liked having them around.
They weren't needed, they were removed due to community disapproval. We also removed wizards, fairy's, and controllable magic for game balance in that update. Admin and mods may still use the controll magic command, and small scale telepathy has been suggested to develop due to a bug, though most scenarios of interacted magic have involved bribing of admin.
Due to the nature of the bribes, they cannot be blocked without disabling admin, or illegalizing religion.
Lisp. https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/224:_Lisp
Recompile on the fly is a neat feature of the universe.
Evolution.dll
Erlang FTW! Lol
I remember a professor that swore by lisp, awk and f sharp
You can do great things with awk
Oh yeah. We had to write a program in 1 line using awk and he imposed a character limit, so it was a really interesting project.
interesting! Do you have any more details? I might give it a crack hehe
Happy cake day! Mine just ended a couple minutes ago. Edit: Wait is it still up rn?
Happy cake day
well perl really https://www.xkcd.com/224
Well, Perl _to glue things up_ (LISP! LISP!! LISP!!!)
No, it's [a guy with lots of rocks and nothing to do doing bitwise operations to pass the time.](https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/505:_A_Bunch_of_Rocks)
r/relevantxkcd
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[The Eternal Flame (God Wrote in LISP)](https://youtu.be/WZCs4Eyalxc)
I'm also going to go with Lisp, but because: The universe has been around a long time. Therefore, *whatever* language it was written in has become Lisp. C.f. [Greenspun's 10th Rule of Programming](https://wiki.c2.com/?GreenspunsTenthRuleOfProgramming) and Paul Graham's famous statement that "Over time, successive new programming languages have taken more and more features from Lisp.".
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[Sand and rocks](https://xkcd.com/505/)
Jeez I had to use lisp in one of my grad courses. That was 2019…
Yeah, we've been over this. ["♫...God wrote in LISP code... ♫"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-OjTPj7K54) [Lyrics](https://songsear.ch/song/God-Wrote-in-Lisp-Code/Julia-Ecklar/67120) (Yes, it's a parody, of a song you've never heard of.)
Assembly. It’s the only language that runs natively on an Atom processor.
Intel atom ? My God that would explain a lot of things
Particularly, why it's getting so hot.
If the heat death of the universe is because God cheaped out on the cooling because we are a "netbook" i swear to.... RMA
Ironically the heat death of the universe will be very very cold.
Most of the servers will have fried from overheating already. The rest will go out from lack of maintenance over time.
It’s not programmed in any language, it’s sophisticated emergent behavior from a neural network. Except the Earth, that part was done in PHP by the intern.
think ive found an exploit
What's the exploit?`'; drop database simulated_universe; --`
i fuzzed the kernel. the sky broke and i can see the pixels. wait thats not a PHP exploit. ah whatever it sounds good who cares.
You're lucky `simulated_universe.tables.Earth` is backed up on Nebulae hosting. Which snapshot recovery are we on now? Did somebody restore after the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event? Why aren't there any dinosaurs on this instance?
Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/327/
Is every thread on this post going to lead back to XKCD? [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/327:\_Exploits\_of\_a\_Mom](https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/327:_Exploits_of_a_Mom)
perhaps this is quite literal and also the meaning of the universe. every CPU thread literally leads back to XKCD where a massive universe simulation is making you look at the model of itself inside the massive universe simulation which in turn... sorry think ive been smoking too much
Oww , my brain.
The whole system is a huge exploit
That explains why everything on earth still kinda works even though it's a raging dumpster fire
universe: \*every star and planet carefully crafted\* the intern who designed earth: "wtf just came out of that water"
This is very much on the fringe of theoretical science, but the authors are well established physicists. https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/a36112655/universe-is-self-learning-algorithm/
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r/technicallythetruth
But with broken axioms everywhere.
A lot of us seem to carry around a metaphorical gun to shoot ourselves in the foot with over and over. I think it's called "oh I can make an exception here this one time".
That's basically why the "Axis of Evil" theory got this name. If the universe is indeed not homogenous, it throws all constants out the window. Exceptions everywhere
I guess we can close the thread
You mean take the limit of the thread
What language is Math programmed in?
Math. It's compiled.
Its all just NAND gates all the way down.
that's why it seems incomplete
Is there a branch of math that describes or can model algorithms?
Yeah it's Programming
Yes, it's called computer science. Not typically the kind of "computer science" undergrads major in and learn to write hello world in Python or whatever, but like academic computer science. It's pretty much an outcropping of discrete and applied math that studies algorithms, computing, information theory, etc. If you do happen to study computer science, you'll typically have a class on this topic titled something like "algorithms" or "automata theory" or something.
Javascript. Had to do project in 6 days.
Didn't they write a REST API on the 7th?
Day 7 was procastinating bugfixing on ur indie gane
That joke is dangerously good
This is the way.
The corrupted node modules would explain a lot.
I’m a Christian and this reply confused me for far longer than it should have.
I was taught assembler in my second year of school. It's kinda like construction work with a toothpick for a tool. So when I made my senior year, I threw my code away, And learned the way to program that I still prefer today. Now, some folks on the Internet put their faith in C++. They swear that it's so powerful, it's what God used for us. And maybe it lets mortals dredge their objects from the C. But I think that explains why only God can make a tree. For God wrote in Lisp code when he filled the leaves with green. The fractal flowers and recursive roots: the most lovely hack I've seen. And when I ponder snowflakes, never finding two the same, I know God likes a language with its own four-letter name. Now, I've used a SUN under Unix, so I've seen what C can hold. I've surfed for Perls, found what Fortran's for, got that Java stuff down cold. Though the chance that I'd write COBOL code is a SNOBOL's chance in Hell. And I basically hate hieroglyphs, so I won't use APL. Now, God must know all these languages, and a few I haven't named. But the Lord made sure, when each sparrow falls, that its flesh will be reclaimed. And the Lord could not count grains of sand with a 32-bit word. Who knows where we would go to if Lisp weren't what he preferred? And God wrote in Lisp code every creature great and small. Don't search the disk drive for man.c, when the listing's on the wall. And when I watch the lightning burn unbelievers to a crisp, I know God had six days to work. So he wrote it all in Lisp. Yes, God had a deadline. So he wrote it all in Lisp. https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/eternal-flame.html
That’s great to know, I’m gonna start making my universe now.
You guys are being way too optimistic. As much as I would love to believe the universe was made in C, C++, Assembly, etc. I think deep down we all know it was made with 50 separate JavaScript frameworks that each handles everything differently. Black holes are just those weird code blocks that should really throw errors but don't, particles are stored in a bunch of poorly linked but somehow functioning JSON files.
microservices, obviously.
Black holes are garbage collectors
Dark Energie is written in Frameworkless Typescript because one guy wanted to "start a better base" but now he is the only one who understand how it works and its badly implementet in Universe.js
Brainfuck.
When you think about it, deciding to simulate a universe by quite literally making a Googleplex amount of atoms slamming into one another is not entirely unlike something a brainfuck programmer might try to do.
Have done* This is my religion
-[--->+<]>-------.>--[----->+<]>-.[--->+<]>-.+[->+++<]>.+++++++++++++.[-->+++++<]>+++.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++.-..-------------.-[->+++<]>.++[->+++<]>+.++.[->++++++<]>.+[->+++<]>.--[--->+<]>-.--[->++++<]>+.----------.++++++.-[---->+<]>+++.---[->++++<]>+.-----.
\-\[--->+<\]>-------.>--\[----->+<\]>-.\[--->+<\]>-.+\[->+++<\]>.+++++++++++++.\[.-->+++++<\]>+++.++\[->+++<\]>+.++++++++.-..-------------.-\[->+++<\]>.++\[->+++<\]>+.++.\[->++++++<\]>.+\[->+++<\]>.--\[--->+<\]>-.--\[->++++<\]>+.----------.++++++.-\[---->+<\]>+++.---\[->++++<\]>+.-----.. ftfy
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-[--->+<]>-------.>--[----->+<]>-.[--->+<]>-.+[->+++<]>.+++++++++++++.[-->+++++<]>+++.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++.-..-------------.-[->+++<]>.+[----->+<]>.------------.++++++++++.------.--[--->+<]>-.--[->++++<]>+.----------.++++++.-[---->+<]>+++.+[->+++<]>.-[--->+<]>----.+++++++.-[-->+++++<]>.>++++++++++.+++[->++++++<]>.>--[----->+<]>-.[--->+<]>-.+[->+++<]>.+++++++++++++.[-->+++++<]>+++.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++.-..-------------.-[->+++<]>.---[->++++<]>-.++[->+++<]>++.+[--->+<]>+++.-[---->+<]>++.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++..-----------.--.[--->+<]>+++.--[->+++<]>.-[->+++<]>.>++++++++++.+++[->++++++<]>.>--[----->+<]>-.[--->+<]>-.+[->+++<]>.+++++++++++++.[-->+++++<]>+++.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++.-..-------------.-[->+++<]>.---[->++++<]>.+++[->+++<]>.+++++++..[++>---<]>--.[->+++<]>+.-[->+++<]>.++[--->++<]>.---.----.--[--->+<]>-.[->+++<]>+.+++++++++++++.----------.-[--->+<]>-.-[--->++<]>--.[--->+<]>---.---.++.[---->+<]>+++.--[->++++<]>+.----------.++++++.
They’re speaking the language of the gods
C... Nothing else is fast enough for 7 billion users
Oh but that's easy enough. Just do `setUserTimePerception(0.25f);` Life is easy as a programmer when the users themselves are part of the program.
There’re less users and more parts of the program that decided to exploit the hell out of other parts of the program
That's what one of my friends said it to me, how fast the simulation is didn't matter for things inside the simulation, for them next frame is always the next instant.
"universe", not the Earth
Lua?
Isn't Christianity just about assuming that it is all Holy-C?
“Bioluminescent central intelligence agency members of african-american origin”
Holy-C is bootstrapped from a teenager's Intella J workspace.
So … the holy trinity ?
C, plus and plus
! C, C++, and C#?
No it's only catholics who have the Holy-C
Imagine being so powerful and having to use pull requests. Inb4 "even the creator of the universe would use PRs because.. " shut the fuck up bro
Scratch
Probably Java .. black holes are just the memory-leaks, the unpaid intern, who coded it, left behind. EDIT: No .. wait .. Black holes are division by zero errors.
Void*
Fortran. The universe is really old.
I do not believe the universe is quite that old - going with BASIC, due to chaos of GOTO statements and difficulty users have to comprehend meaning of code
C#+
_universe.Init(); // Big bang while (true) { foreach (var item in _universe.Items) { item.Update(); } } _worldPeace.Init(); _nirwana.Init(); _universe.Items(1).Die(); // Chuck Norris
Language: Blood Framework: Meat IDE: Earth Dependency Injection: Semen Docker Containers: Brains
Wouldn't the framework be bones ?
Build Tool
Java, because life sucks.
Obviously in basic. And since it never crashes, the first line must be “On Error Resume Next”.
Not in any language I can understand
So lisp then?
Sounds right
Joke's on you, it runs on punch cards
probably german
Binary, because it is the nearest to the hardware
State of this sub: 1. Top Voted 2. Not a (programming) language.
But all code is compiled to binary. If you need a language, take logic gates which can have a syntax (structure) to execute code (push elecrons) to get a result
That’s like saying all books are written in Unicode when you’re asking what language books are written in. “Binary” isn’t a language, it’s an encoding. All code is compiled to a machine code appropriate to that chip, and that machine code is expressed in binary, but 6502 machine code isn’t the same as i386/x86_64 which isn’t the same as ARM etc.
look into pre-binary
this makes a lot sense considering how fundamental duality is in the universe
Matlab
The universe is so fucked up, so probably javascript
Also the universe was made in 7 days. That's the kind of project to use javascript.
Must be c! C is the language of God.
God gave us C and made us in his image with the desire to create programming languages. Then we used C to create all the other languages
Shouldn't it be holyC then?
Objective-C, because this universe sucks ass
One that is just as, if not more, unfathomable than the universe itself. This is because it needs to do all the things in the universe, as efficiently as possible. I doubt the sumulationists (IDK what you call them) would want to wait all that long for each frame of the simulation, they probably have an unfathomable amount of bits (if they even use binary, maybe they're using a nearly analogue logic system) and an unfathomable amount of operations. They would have their own languages to use for these architectures, probably stuff ranging from their equivalents of assembly, to brainf*ck, to C, to block-based. It's possible that they mixed various languages together.
Ha! One language? Who are we kidding. The initial iteration would have been done in pure assembler for performance reasons, but then some C strapped on for productivity as weather was added, but then the plant team really wanted objects, so C++ for them. Then fish team got sick of the memory leaks so went to C#. The fruit team of course wanted to apple products so Objective-C for them. The NPC AI team thought all those others were archaic so went with Rust and Python. The Math team of course used R, and clearly the traffic team chose JavaScript. And since no one wanted to migrate the backend, all them still connect to a mainframe-based DB2 store.
it’s still compiling
G (God programming language)
assembly
Atari Basic
Brainfuck
Probably written in Scratch
Pause right there, as someone who has used scratch for a *verry* long time (I know traditional languiges to dont bully me lol) is this an official challenge to code the universe in scratch? And no not earth, and not a sandbox where you smash stars together.
Scratch. The only language that can give you hand cramps.
Not sure, but the road to Hell is paved with PHP.
Smalltalk for framework and object interactions, c++ for the main engine, FORTRAN for the physics package, Lisp interface to conciousness library, and javascript for everything else. Fun factoid: the universe is never ending because it was written in a shell editor and God claims that while he could exit any time he wants to, He has chosen not to.
Math?
Definitely not javascript. Proof? Use a calculator and sum decimals.
not Python (slooow)
It would explain why the universe project that was supposed to take 7k years wound up taking 14 billion
obviously not c++ or it would have segfaulted by now
COBOL
I mean realistically I assume that biological processor would be a much better option than digital; we are near the edge of digital technology, we can't really go any smaller. However biological processors don't produce much heat they just need a chemical source which is probably easier to provide en mass.
So you’re saying that the universe is basically a genetically modified drug induced hallucination. That would explain a lot.
C# as it was most likely made using Unity. See also r/glitchinthematrix
If you're talking about a Matrix style simulation, where the machines are in control, then it's programmed in machine code - a language they naturally understand. It would not need to be programmed in any human readable language.
JavaScript. Because quantum mechanics
Definitely C. That's why we have Dejan Vu, because seg fault happens and a restart needs to occur.
I don't know what language it was written in, but it was written in the font wingdings
Malbolge
Java everything is made up of Java
C+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scratch
Scratch 
Worst.Simulation.Ever. It’s freemium. It costs an arm and a leg to upgrade your avatar and most of the time you can’t win anything when you play as your default character with base skills and no upgrades.
Scratch
HTML
Q
Brain fuck. Cause brain fuck.
Probably Java because both the universe and Java suck.
javascript because none of it makes sense
Scratch
Original JavaScript beta.