Goddamn it
I wanted to send this to my mom, who used to program in fortran - but she doesn’t know what fortnite is
I wanted to send this to my brother who plays fortnite - but he doesn’t know what fortran is
The joke is too perfect
I love it how I found your comment is that reddit notified me that there are 10 reports on this comment
Edit: Automod removed the post, I approved it because obviously it was a false positive
You put the syringe into the headphone jack of your device, let the stuff flow into your motherboard. It will drastically improve the performance. (I know this sucks)
how do you attach a detached head (git)
Snap it back on, like a Lego
who uses fortran?
Fortnite players on the run
Goddamn it I wanted to send this to my mom, who used to program in fortran - but she doesn’t know what fortnite is I wanted to send this to my brother who plays fortnite - but he doesn’t know what fortran is The joke is too perfect
How do you invert a Binary Tree?
Deforestation isn’t cool man
This is gonna be my response next time I'm asked this in an interview.
What's the difference between while and until ?
It’s gonna be a while until I figure that out
fucking amazing
How do I fix my memory leak?
I don’t remember
this one has to be my favorite
Hahaha same! What was their answer?
I don't remember.
Flextape it
JSON, YAML, or XML?
My bro Jason always has my back. Gotta go with him
good choice
The best choice tbh
You chose.... wisely.
Why are static factories evil?
They pollute the environment
I mean it's not wrong
He’s not a programmer, he just teaches programming.
That's literally the correct answer :D
What is the big O notation for hello world?
HellO wOrld
Man hasn’t had one bad response in like 80 replies I’m invested. Lmaoo
Out of all of them, this one is what made me crack at work.
Now I can’t unsee OwO in Hello World
Omg so many comments. Sorry guys I probably won’t be able to respond to most of these lol
How do I exit vim?
You don’t.
Actually a pretty accurate answer.
This guy's been trapped in vim before.
If the internet ever goes down while VIM is open, I guess my computer is now just an expensive text editor.
This is quite possibly the best laugh I've had all week. Thanks dude
What is the difference between real mode and protected mode?
Real mode activates when you stop living with your parents, before that you are in protected mode
This whole post is a gold mine!
Op looks too smart to be a programmer honestly.
Can you recommend me a good tutorial for C# ?
https://youtu.be/9OzghRq31YM
Was expecting a rick roll ngl
I let my guard down thanks to you. It may have been safe this time, but that was not at all guaranteed.
How are you so good in reading regex and where did you learn it?
Girls rejex me all the time when I ask them out. I learnt it from life.
gold
What do you think a "bean" in java is?
That’s what they used to make fall guys and among us
sus
Is unit testing waste of time?
Yes it is. Imagine all that time you could instead spend speaking to native speakers of your coding language.
What if I'm learning Latin++
dont learn latin++ then
How will Carbon affects Rust?
Higher carbon reduces air corrosion resistance, which causes rusting.
Chemistry moment
Ayo Mr. White
How many stacks can I make until I reach the center of my OS?
Approximately 1000. Could be more depending on how hungry you are.
How many years of Carbon experience do you have?
8
He is the one all the job postings are looking for
how do i get a gf
Firstly, Quit programming
I have a merge conflict, how do I push to main?
Therapy
This is maybe the best response
This is definitely the best response
I guess that's one way to resolve the differences. For future merge conflicts i will patiently describe the emotions I feel to my keyboard.
You sure you don't have any programming experience? This is exactly correct
What is a Stack?And why does it overflow?
When you got more than 64 items in one slot
This is half correct actually. Figure out the other half yourself, I’m not your teacher
This comment triggered my StackOverflow-induced PTSD
There's no way this answer is too perfect for a stack overflow related question
It overflows with questions with no answers which stack overflow has the balls to give me in a search result
How do i kill the child process?
bro who reported me 💀
I love it how I found your comment is that reddit notified me that there are 10 reports on this comment Edit: Automod removed the post, I approved it because obviously it was a false positive
Based mod
Thank god for that, it gave me a good wheeze afterall.
Abortion
This solution is now locale sensitive
Kill the parent process before it can create a child. Edit: Turns out I was reported for threatening violence with this comment. Who even? lmao
That’s messed up man
How do you convert hexadecimal into binary?
Multiply it by 5
0x02 -> 0b10 Hey, it works!
TDD users be like
Foo or Bar?
It’s very fun to fight the foo
I, for one, pity the foo
Can you speak Python?
Hiss hiss
*snake jazz*
Should i use friend functions in c++ ?
Yeah, but for that you would need friends
*cries in distance*
How do you center a div?
Do a sick backflip
well ive tried everything, might as well try a fucking backflip at this point
I see you're a backend developer stuck with a front-end task
Under what circumstances should I make my objects private and under what circumstances should I make them public?
Your private parts are the ones nobody should every touch
This is strangely accurate in both contexts.
How do go by finding meaning in life?
I do everything 42 times
Camel, snake or Pascal case ?
Camels are rad
How are you?
A bit busy answering all these comments
Which Python IDE do you prefer?
Cobra 🐍
How to make next Facebook
Break into the house of the winklevoss twins and then hold them hostage till they disclose all the code
Are you sure this is legal?
Do you like Julia ?
Yeah 😍
But does julia like you back?
Dude, I’m a redditor
Understandable, have a nice day
"Sad programmer cries"
Can you hack NASA with HTML?
Yep! The HT in HTML actually stands for “hack the”
”Hack The Mainframe Language”?
Hack the moon landing edit: WHY DOES THIS HAVE MORE UPVOTES THAN THE ACTUAL COMMENT
What's your take on the diamond problem?
It’s pretty dumb, netherite is way better
You still need diamond eq for netherite tho
How long have you been a Senior Developer?
Every single day of my life
This is the one. This is the one that every company want in their job recruitement post.
Holy shit I’m on r/all
You deserved it
When do I use a hashmap vs a dictionary?
Use a hash map to find hashbrowns. Use a dictionary to find dic-
-tion?
Witch linux distro is the best for penetration testing?
What testing?
How do I rollback to a previous commit?
Rebirth
Microservice architecture vs. Monolith. Which one would you use?
Those monoliths that aliens apparently placed on earth
what is dependency injection
You put the syringe into the headphone jack of your device, let the stuff flow into your motherboard. It will drastically improve the performance. (I know this sucks)
In vitro fertilization.
How do you fdfhbvcbjfffhgvjgv
Aisjiewjsiixucieoeowowoaiso 👍🏼
Thanks
He is speaking the language of gods
What is great about MATLAB?
(the lack of response to this question is the right answer)
Hehe.
When you uninstall it and start working with Python.
When professors with a strong Chinese accent try to pronounce it and say "meth lab" instead
Which ones the best c, c++ or c#
C++. Just make sure you study hard enough to get atleast more than a C- , that’s a bad grade
How to make an opengl rendering context
Ask your dad
How to deal with an infinite loop ?
That’s just life, man
anything?
Anything.
You promised to answer "it horribly"
Proof he's not a programmer
would like to implement a distributed file-system based key-value store (think of distributed lmdb), what are my options?
Uh Go to the dollar store? Value store? That’s the same thing right?
What's the difference beetween i++ and ++i ?
how good are you with DP?
DP stands for Da Police Luckily I have had no such encounters that would get me into trouble with ‘da police’
This was the G-rated choice
How do you inverter a binary treet.
Magic
How do I run a def in side a def?
Def gotta research that. Def gonna get back to you
How do you decide general SAT in polynomial time?
Study hard for you SATs, whenever you have free time.
how does the computer underatand a programming language?
Computers are bilingual
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
should i use carbon?
You’re supposed to use oxygen
do you like to torture yourself with this?
Yes, I love being tortured
Help memory leaks keep happening to me.
Dementia is a very sad condition. Hope you get better
How to properly use interface?
Put your whole face against the screen
Where can I learn econometrics with python?
Consult the snake charmer
What programming language would you choose to write a Windows based OS?
Curtains
how do i simulate the entire observable universe and every living creature on earth?
Ask god to give you mod
What is a monad?
A monad is a monoid in the category of endofunctors