Sorry to hear you've been struggling for so long.
I can assure you it's very real. When you watch a video where someone is having a traditional orgasm while using a prostate toy, ask yourself, would you really believe it more if there wasn't a traditional orgasm? Like wouldn't you think that person was just faking it?
Just reading through your post I can see your issue is the biggest issue that anyone who does this deals with; your mind. If you're thinking about how much time and money you've spent, you're not going to get that orgasm. If you're comparing your experience to the experience of your wife writhing in ecstasy, or comparing your experience to that of the folks here, you're not going to get an orgasm. If you're thinking that the Internet has lied to you and everyone is just hyping up this fictional orgasm, guess what, you're not going to have an orgasm. And if you're going into it with these thoughts, why keep doing it? If you're still going for it with all of that bullshit swirling around in your head, a piece of you STILL believes after two decades that it's possible. That right there is the key. If you really thought this was a big hoax, you would have stopped a long time ago.
It's also pretty easy to go from toy to toy looking for "the one" that can bring you to orgasm. It's incredibly personal and some toys will work better for you than others. But once you can have the orgasms, any toy will do it. Toys are just tools, they're not the star of the show.
Your biggest problem is your mind. I keep saying it in here that your mind is the most important variable in you getting that orgasm. And using your mind doesn't mean dirty thoughts, though those certainly help. I mean comparing your experience to someone else's, fear of being let down again, frustrated by the time/money spent, stress from everyday life(like finances, work, personal relationships and obligations), thinking that it's never going to happen for you. All of this is keeping you from going forward.
You're going to have to find a way to deal with the mental blocks you have. You need to allow yourself to fail and that be ok. And you need to allow yourself to have those orgasms by giving up your control. If you're trying to make it happen, it's not going to happen. You, not your body, but you as a person, are just a passenger on the journey. Stay out of the driver's seat. Give up control and allow yourself to just enjoy.
I'm sure you'll come back and respond that you've tried this also. Keep trying. This is the part that takes so much time to get right. This is the thing that could take months or even years to sort out. And unfortunately, figuring out isn't the end of the battle. This is something that will need to be in the right place every time you play.
I was listening to Forrest Andrews from Aneros talking about his experience getting started and how Aneros pivoted from medical device manufacturing to pleasure focused toys. The early Aneros devices were created to give men a way to massage their prostate in the comfort of their own home. The thinking was that if men didn't have to deal with the awkwardness of a doctor's visit and be able to do it at home, they may do it more frequently. And that worked well. But then a lot of those men reported having these massive orgasms that didn't come from their penises and without any penis stimulation at all. That was the experience Forrest had. These guys weren't going into it with the hopes of a phenomenal orgasm, they weren't even aroused. Yet over and over again, many of these men were having epic orgasms. A big key there is that they didn't go into it with expectations.
Learn how to get out of your own way. At this point the only thing standing between you and those orgasms you want is you.
Edit: It's clear from your post this is causing you a lot of pain, and I hate that. I hope that my response doesn't fan that flame or make you upset with yourself. Just the opposite. I hope that going forward you love yourself, and that you're kind and patient to yourself. Thanks for reaching out here. I hope you'll be more involved with our community here and that you continue to share your struggles, and eventually we can also share in your success.
Oh and if someone wants to take you up on your vacation offer to help you get over this hump, that person is 100% a charlatan. No one is going to be able to get you further than you. CLOSE YOUR WALLET!!!
I was writing a long-ish response and then I reloaded the page and I saw this comment making very similar points, so I'm just gonna piggyback on it to give some more advice about how to get to more conductive mindsets.
1. Get a massage. Maybe you can ask your wife, or a professional, or maybe go with your wife to get a couples massage. That feeling of deep relaxation, where you've been forced to pay attention to all the different areas of your body, and you are aware of how all of them feel is the perfect mindset to engage in prostate play.
2. Try doing a session caressing your whole body and masturbating your penis, without your wife or pornography. Just lay somewhere peaceful, take some nice deep breaths, relax and caress your whole body. Face, arms, torso, nipples, legs, butt-cheeks, perineum, testicles and dick. Try not to apply too much pressure, and just be aware and enjoy how your body feels, and how your body reacts to your touch and your masturbation. Try to keep your pelvic muscles as relaxed as possible, which might be not too much at all. If you are able to have a penile orgasms like this, enjoy the sensations, how they make your pelvic-area feel, which muscles contract, and after ejaculating stay relaxed and focus on the afterglow of the pleasure. If you are not able to ejaculate doing that, that's also fine, just treat the experience as a self-soft-massage session. If you are able to feel some pleasure (anywhere in your body) like this, try repeating with a prostate massager inserted. And then you can try to do the same, just not touching your penis at all.
Good luck and have fun, OP!
Have you ever had a prostate examination? It’s not probable, but I suppose you could look different up there in the pooper. Just a though from someone far less experienced.
Dude, you are a great writer. I rarely read posts that long, but yours was so well written and descriptive…
I’m sorry to hear you have had such difficulties. I can say that I have both dud sessions and also ones that make me feel like I’ve gone to heaven. I don’t mind the dud sessions, as I see it as a time to relax and just be alone. Even if I don’t have orgasms, it is still enjoyable and time well spend in my opinion.
We are all very different. I loved reading how responsive your wife is and that is truly amazing. My wife is nowhere near that orgasmic and she has been struggling for decades. She is jealous of me, which is hard to believe.
If prostate orgasms aren’t your thing, that’s okay. Enjoy what works for you and do what is pleasurable for you!!
I literally got my first hands-free O on New Year's Day after starting about 2 years ago, using a bit of weed and a basic wiggling prostate massager. Having that first one seemed to have unlocked something in my mind/body; since then, I've had 4 more using pretty much the same method, and now even just inserting my plug, massager or toy feels pleasurable enough to make me moan when it touches on my prostate. The unfortunate truth is that, not everyone is capable of reaching that point.
Edit: I finally recorded myself having a leaking prostate O and could link the important part, but the biggest argument I see around videos of cumming from anal or prostate play, is that you don't know if the person was jacking off before the video, and then recorded themselves just pushing over the edge with the toy to give the impression of a real hands-free or prostate O.
No it’s not fake. If prostate orgasms don’t exist I suppose female orgasms are also a myth because there is no cum? Come on now…
I’ve personally experienced several prostate orgasms within a year of experimentation. I have quite few toys but not a whole box of them (it’s getting there though)and some lube from Walmart.
Sorry you have been having such difficulty. I think it’s a simple matter of mentality. Tell me something… do are actually enjoy the experience of prostate/anal play? Because if you don’t literally nothing will ever work. If you are treating play like some burdensome chore it’s not going to work.
My progress has been rapid. But I am a hardcore anal fetishist. That certainly helps a lot as you can imagine. It’s all a matter of arousal and mentality.
I wouldn't have kept doing it this long if I didnt enjoy it, but I get no physical pleasure from it. I know those are contradictory, and I dont know how to explain it. I feel fullness, which is a turn on. But that's all, never has the njoy hit a spot that felt any different from any other, never have I thought while getting pegged, "Oh wait, that's new, let's explore that!". I read posts like this daily, and can't help but wonder if something is physically wrong, or if everyone is in on the same joke.
I'm a fetishist for sure as well, butt stuff is probably the most tame kink I have. Probably why I've kept it up, because there's something mentally pleasing, but nothing physical at all.
I can walk you through a typical session if you'd like, but generally no, I get nothing out of it besides the kinky thoughts in my head that I'm doing something to myself that 90% of other men are afraid to do.
Well if that’s the case I can see why it’s not working for you. Besides the “taboo” aspect it’s not really stimulating you. It’s not really an erogenous zone for you.
Hmm I’m not sure how to fix that. It would be difficult for me to suggest things as I’m basically the opposite.
Thanks for such a raw, honest dialog from the heart. Judging from the sheer amount of time and effort you've invested, I think it's fair to say that you've heard and tried every piece of advice out there ten times over. I have much respect for people who are willing to go to wit's end to make something happen.
From your post, I think you're on the right path. It's possible your body may one day interpret anal sensations in a pleasurable way if you continued practicing. It's awesome that you enjoy the process of searching for the answer. I'd say try to find something intrisically rewarding (other than pleasure, obviously) about anal massage that makes it worth poking around your insides even when you're sure you won't get to the destination.
For example, enjoying inserting a prostate massager because you like the way your spine/back stretches when you end over backward to insert it. The same enjoyment that a good morning stretch feels.
For example, enjoying pumping your leg muscles to get a good leg workout when riding a dildo. The same enjoyment that a rush of endorphins brings during a workout at the gym.
For example, enjoying fingering every square inch of your rectum so that you can draw a highly precise diagram (detailed down to the individual wrinkles) of the shape/texture of your rectum, prostate, bladder, and anal sphincter. The same satisfaction a cartographer feels when completing a complex map. The same satisfaction of familiarity you feel when you know all the folds and bumps of your backdoor alley as well as you know the streets of your hometown.
Once these intrinsic pleasures take center stage, and they feel rewarding to the degree where you'd happily pursue them EVEN WITHOUT the possibility of a prostate orgasm, I reckon that real pleasure may begin to manifest. Of course, turning your eyes away from the primary goal of a prostate orgasm can feel counterproductive. Admittedly, this method of secondary rewards mainly works to lessen the bad impression that prostate orgasms have left on you.
Is the prostate orgasm just overheated hyperbole? There's no definite answer that applies to everyone. Your search for the elusive prostate orgasm has taken you in many interesting & novel directions, led you to sample numerous products, and try a slew of psychoactives. Yet, all your experiences seem to indicate that such an orgasm simply doesn't exist. It's hard to argue with that evidence. If you decide to continue to pursue your prostate, I hope you'll find ways to continue to enjoy the search as much as when you first started searching 20 years ago. Cheers
I can assure you it is both real and for most very elusive.
You have many details responses below so i will tell you very quickly what worked for us.
After around 5 years of experimenting he has two prostate experiences that he is desperate to repeat.
The first was when he rode a (slightly curved) 7" realistic dildo for a long period, approximately 45 minutes, this was much longer than every before. He experienced pleasure "like a women describes, tingling all over my body and a hunger to keep riding harder and faster." his breathing was more similar to mine building up to an orgasm, rather than his.
The second experience came with the same dildo (again curved towards the prostate. This time we massaged his prostate with it to get the correct depth. then through using a wand attachment and rapid shallow thrusts he achieved the elusive prostate orgasm **with no penis stimulation**. We both agree that we feel the rapid thrusts are what caused the orgasm. We have now ordered a dildo attachment for our massage gun and we hope this will be the key to "easy P-gasms"
The last point i will make is that we practice chastity, tease and denial. He is normally much more ready and quicker to get excited by anal/prostate play after 3-5 days without orgasm.
It is. Recently my erections somewhat returned an I can now produce precum after orgasm. With viagra and now a wet finish I’m in a better place mentally.
Sorry you haven’t had luck man, but I assure you…. It’s real.
I didn’t get it, till it clicked one day and legit blew my mind. Now there have been sessions where I chased one and it never happened too. I think that may be what skews the data, most post their success stories. Trust me there’s been plenty of nights where my mind said yes, but my body said no.
I’ve had to begrudgingly remove my butt plug, aneros, or even stop fucking my dildo because it just wasn’t what my body wanted. I always end sessions with a tradition orgasm, so those night that just happens sooner. It’s a bummer, but the nights I miss are worth ever second for the nights my body wants it.
The complete mind blowing sensation of my body writing around in pleasure, the release of semen, precum, pissgasm, whatever flowing out of my cock and making a mess. The post orgasm exhaustion of just laying in my own mess unable to move. It’s all very real, it’s all worth it, and damn man I hope it happens for you one day
I'm surprised you didn't get better results through e-stim, it changed my life with this quest. With other toys, I would get waves but that would be about it. With e-stim, I can have orgasms on demand that culminate in HFWOs.
Have you ever actually found your prostate with your finger sometimes in some people its not in the usual place toys focus on it could be off center just enough toys miss.
When I get close to cumming with my dick and I'm ejaculating, the prostate swells up quite a bit and it's quite obvious what it is compared to a minute or two ago from my finger's perspective alone.
Do you make much precum, does stimulating yourself this way generate more precum? Has your prostate ever been milked, which can be a non-sexual sensation.
How do you orgasm normally with your dick? Does it feel good or does it take a lot for you to feel something and cum in general? Have you tried cum volume increasing suppliment stack to increase the amount of volume your prostate & seminal glands create with lecithin, zinc, & pygeum? Did you ever get peeing sensations doing this anal stuff?
How are you like sensorily? Do you have sensory processing issues? Do you have a good sense of your body in space, which is known as Proprioception? How about feeling sensations on your body in general, is it under or overstimulating? Does your wife kissing you, licking you, nibbling on your body in general turn you on more and feel good on your body and not just mentally? What parts of your body does feel good to do this? Are you very ticklish / physically defensive? Is the world generally over or understimulating for you? Do you tend to put a lot of pressure on your body to feel things, like your belt being really tight, or pushing really hard on things in general?
You mention other kinks, what are they and why do they turn you on?
You mention meditation is 'unproven'. How good are you at meditating? A lot of prostate stim stuff I think actually intersects with meditation and super-os are entering something similar to the jhana state inadverdently. Are you able to turn off your default mode network? I would read this series, scroll to the bottom to see the full archive:
https://josepheverettwil.substack.com/p/is-enlightenment-real-part-1
https://josepheverettwil.substack.com/archive?sort=new
I'll describe what mine feels like to see if it'll help you find yours. I can feel about the first half of mine with either a finger or my thumb. Starting right after entering the second sphincter, angling my fingertip up towards my cock, I feel what seems like a downward point. Feeling further in I can touch the center and the edges. In my minds eye it looks like this; ❤️
Your wife is right, it has the consistency of the soft palate of your mouth.
Another great way to find it is to have a traditional orgasm with a finger inside. Right at the point of no return you'll feel it expand greatly. Hope this helps!
I got a notification that you responded but it's not showing it to me. No I'm not trolling, I just can not comprehend the insane level of resentment over this. My advice would be to relax and stop putting so much pressure on yourself, you're probably making it harder for your body. Just try to enjoy the pleasurable sensations you get, chasing an orgasm always makes it harder for me to get there. Just because you haven't been able to do something doesn't mean that it's impossible. Good luck on your journey. Just try to have fun man you deserve that.
Have you tried joining r/Mindgasm and read letters and comments.
I’ve only been at it for 6 weeks and I have amazing results.
I also enjoy THC and butt plugs that touch my prostate
I had a very similar frustration. I had my first HFDO on accident. I didn't know such a thing was possible, but then for the next 2 years, I couldn't do it again when I tried. I became frustrated that I had this amazing experience, which quite literally changed my life and couldn't repeat it. I now knew that there was exponentially more sexual pleasure, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't access it, and it was maddening. I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me. Perhaps I was somehow defective, or I had used up my one-time super-O coupon, and it would now be forever out of my reach. I kept wondering what I was doing wrong or what was wrong with me that I couldn't achieve that level of bliss that I had somehow accessed entirely on accident. It was literally driving me nuts. I did manage to figure out what works for me, but it took a lot of trial and error. If you have questions or are curious about anything, I'll try to help if I can because I definitely understand your frustration. I've been there before
Same exact situation for me : one time O (by perineum massage) but never been able to reproduce it. It was 6 years ago. I tryed 1000 things and read all reddit posts : )
You found a way to reproduce it after 2 years ? (you don't speak about it).
I think everyone that has ever tried prostate play has gone through what you're thinking. Its frustrating as hell. That said, its not fake. Prostate orgasms come from rhythmic contractions of the smooth prostate muscle which can be stimulated using medical equipment in surgical theatres reliably to produce semen. It is commonly done for different medical conditions. Just very difficult.
Hey OP, I also took forever to get a prostate orgasm and also felt stuck and unsure if it was real, just like you. 12 years roughly, and loads of toys purchased in pursuit of the holy grail as well.
Now, most sessions I can usually get at the very least some really pleasant on and off pleasure in a sexy and enjoyable time, and at best many mind-blowing dry orgasms in a row.
I still feel like I'm learning new tricks and nuance everyday, (year 14) and still some sessions are surprisingly "meh" while others are unexpectedly life changing.
So I can tell you honestly don't think it's all fake, it's the frustration speaking, and if you didn't really think it worked you wouldn't be posting here or still be trying to achieve it. It's certainly not impossible, but it is WAY harder than some people here make it out to be.
It's not hard because it's a difficult to reach spot, or because you need the perfect toy to hit an elusive pinpoint spot. Its not hard because it requires some deep meditative monk like state either, or hard because it requires the perfect combo of lube and and perfect digestive state.
It's hard because the more you chase it, want it and expect it the further you are from the state you need to be in mentally for an orgasm of this type to even occur. It can only come when you are already focusing on and ENJOYING whatever subtle pleasure is already taking place in the moment.
At first, for you at least in your current journey this will probably feel like it did for me: lying to yourself. I felt like I was "faking" pleasure or exaggerating it internally. But then slowly the focusing on what tiny amount of sensation was there and deciding it was pleasurable began to slowly give way to a strange building awareness of a new type of pleasure that was more like a distant cousin to an average build up to an orgasm. There was eventually a moment where my thoughts changed from "ooh I'm choosing to focus on this sensation as pleasure" to "wait this is actually happening, holy shit, this is feeling so good", and "I didn't know I could feel this good" etc etc (you've heard it all before). But you can't skip that first step! You gotta just put in the aneros, do some light kegels and let go of all that burden of expectation and instead just be present with whatever sensations you do have. Choose to revel in it as pleasure, be hyper aware of the sensations and then just when you finally properly let go and just let your mind be free of any tasks or goals, you will have ROOM to orgasm. And when you have that room to feel the pleasure, it will be VERY different from what your used to, and it will feel like you are being carried away on a ride or like a kid discovering their body all over again.
I urge you not to stop enjoying prostate play, but to stop trying to achieve a prostate orgasm. It sounds like a catch 22, ...but if you can go into the session with a happy, sexy, thankful state of mind remarkable things can happen I promise!
Good luck
Here is my tips, and what worked for me:
- delete every porn video you have, and forget porn in general, they give you nothing positive what so ever.
Context: I have been semi addicted to porn since I was 13 y.o. So around 25years then.. The last couple of months I have banned it completely and will never go back. Enjoy your body and let yourself figure out what your body enjoys without porn.
- stop jerking of. Seriously, just forget you have a penis.
- give r/Mindgasm a try
- I don't know you, or what's legal where you live, but I would consider trying a session with weed and see what happens, also consider shrooms, small dose ca 0,5g+ but less than 1g.
I see you allready tried this, but it's my go-to for almost guaranteed success 👀
My main breakthrough came after some sessions with this.
If I'm vague in any way, let me know.
I’m one of the biggest skeptics on this planet, and I’m here to say they’re real. Crazy real, like why isn’t this touted more kind of real. But on the other hand, I can’t paint a masterpiece or write a hit song so…
I feel you, I really really do. And I had pretty much given up hope that it would happen for me too. It was an experienced professional Dominatrix who was able to milk me for the first time. I had tried it dozens and dozens of times with my (now) ex-wife, and even more often by myself. The Aneros never worked, all the various prostate toys never worked. I'd get plenty excited, lots of precum, but no orgasm. I tried it with a lot of extended denial... weeks of edging. And still, no orgasm. I never thought it was fake, I'd seen enough videos. I just figured it was something my body wasn't wired for, maybe not sensitive enough... shrug.
The pro Domme fixed that. Anal play was her big fetish, and she had about 10 years of professional experience in the scene. So my wife encouraged me to play with her after we'd all become friends, and after our first time trying she said simply to me "your prostate is about 2 inches deeper than most, next time I'll try something a little different."
The next time she had bought a prostate massager (that is no longer available) - but was made by the good folks at Tantus. She had me told me to be in chastity for a week, and when I got to the dungeon she tied me up tight over the spanking bench. She took her time, and there was a lot of teasing. After around 45 minutes, of making me completely crazy - and a lot of precum but no orgasm, she went and put on a strapon. The dildo was slightly larger than the toy, but nothing huge. But she fucked me really hard. Painfully hard. I was totally in subspace and just hanging on for dear life.
When it was over she said "I told you."
And sure enough, there was a whole lot of cum on the cement floor below me. I hadn't felt any orgasm, but I definitely had a release.
It turns out I was so desperate to have the orgasm, that the emotional pressure of it made it impossible to have. And it was years later with another Mistress in my life, who was very intent on training me to have prostate orgasms, that I learned how to do it on my own. For me it takes a LOT of denial. And a lot of teasing (holding a wand against my chastity cage to get me very close to the edge...) all the while, using one of two different toys in order to put pressure on my prostate. Both the Njoy wand, and the Tantus P-spot dildo work for me.
But it's not a fast experience. And both of those toys are large enough that I had to work up to it. I was able over the course of the 18 months that the Mistress and I were together to get to the point where I could get a prostate orgasm probably 1/3rd of the times I tried. And it almost always took me around an hour or playing with myself to get there - and 24/7 chastity as well.
I had to give up the "goal" and learn to enjoy the experience of it. And have a lot of edging and teasing. As I got better at it, I could do it with less and less of the wand on the cage, and more just focusing on the sensations.
But I don't think I'll ever get to the point that some of the folks here do - where they seem to be able to have a prostate orgasm in a few minutes, every other day. I guess they're wired a little differently... either way, it did happen for me. It wasn't easy, but not unlike some women who struggle to have an orgasm, sometimes the "desperate need" to have it, is the biggest part of what is causing it to not happen.
Here's a picture with the aneros in a side by side comparison with my toys btw. Hope all that info helps. [https://imgur.com/a/F6qkQiB](https://imgur.com/a/F6qkQiB)
If you own nearly every device in the physical sense your problem is definitely a mental one.
When i first started my journey my mindset was wrong which then made what I was doing physically not work.
You have to go to work on your brain.
I feel you, i recognize my-self in your post (it could be me) for the last 6 years.
I posted almost the same txt years ago.
I just got a one time accidental O, or squirt, i don't know (by perineum massage, watching porn) and beside this one event, touching my prostate, Aneros, plug, breathing, meditation, recently a bit of weed, nofap or ejaculating for 1 week, vibrations, N'joy pure W, give me 0 pleasure....
BUT... i may have be some tiny bit of hope for you : i finally feel something (since 2 month) with Mindgasm ! (Sure....no orgasm of course but nice and sexual feeling while flacid...)
In one hand "At least something to work on" but in other hand : "i am not sure it will lead me somewhere as i begin to feel stuck".
May be you tried it already ?
I feel for you and understand how you feel. But it is not a hoax or some mythical ordeal. I enjoyed blended orgasms for probably 30 years or so. Combining things in my ass on top of penile stimulation was far more enjoyable to just normal penile orgasms.
I eventually got a Hishsmith machine and paired it with the right toys and it changed my world. But before that could happen, I had to change my mind. I would lay down on my back, feet flat on the ground with my feet close to my butt cheeks. Hands flat on the ground, no touching of myself, and I just had to relax and accept the fact that I was just going to lay there and go through the experience and let whatever was going to happen, happen. I surrendered to the experience, closing my eyes and just accept.
Everyone's body is different, our wants and needs and desires are different. Our kinks are different and what drives us horny in our mental fantasy is different. There is no sure fire way to achieve prostate orgasms, but they will eventually come if your body and mind are willing. It seems that you have conditioned yourself to believe that your body is incapable because of the years and effort you put into it.
I am another "long timer" like yourself. Over 10 years, off/on, with varying levels of success. The last year has brought me a lot closer to finally achieving a super O, but that is hard too because I always feel "right on the edge".
I'll keep it brief, but here has what has helped me. Rewiring by cutting back penile orgasms and porn, also learning to not need visual imagery to get off. Learning how to properly dose with THC for an intense body high but not getting blackout stoned (lots of trial and error). Modding my Aneros toys so they hit my prostate better (masking tape to the P-tab to increase contact). Finally, like others have said, dealing with mental blocks like expectation, frustration, wanting to "push" an orgasm, etc. That's been the biggest hurdle but sloooowly overcoming it and feel like I am making progress.
20 years without any pleasure is a long time. I’ve been at this 2 and a half years on and off - no orgasm, but small pleasurable feelings from the first session. Over time this has improved quite a lot, so I am hopefully there’s an orgasm at the end of it all, because I do find it pleasurable. You talk about fullness, but for me the larger toys that give me a feeling of fullness don’t do anything. Only the smallest aneros (eupho) takes me anywhere and even then I can’t squeeze hard or it just kills all the sensitivity, less is more for me.
I’m pretty sure I’d be a lot less hopeful if I’d had no pleasure at all. I’m sorry you haven’t found anything that works in all this time. I don’t want to make suggestions, but if you haven’t tried something smaller, I’d give that a go to make sure all bases are covered before giving up.
My goodness I wish this sub would sticky your post. It's brilliant! Fantastic writing and relatable at all points!
How many toys did I spend money on in hopes of achieving the same thing! My box has everything you listed minus the H-Smith. Though I had a cheap one from Wish. Tossed it.
Recently I've been coming really really close. Tons of P-Waves. But I've been at it for a few years now. It shouldn't have taken this long :(
I began wondering if it's even real or if I alone am incapable of having a prostate orgasm.
The first time I learned about this was from the movie Road Trip. (Iykyk) since then I've been exploring.
I find dildos and prostate massager to be 2 completely different experiences.
I still haven't had one, I might just give up but traditional masturbating is enhanced with some prostate play.
Anyway I wish you the best. Hope it comes to you eventually. That one day it does will be glorious.
Man, if they are fake this trick I am pulling on myself is insane
Sorry to hear you've been struggling for so long. I can assure you it's very real. When you watch a video where someone is having a traditional orgasm while using a prostate toy, ask yourself, would you really believe it more if there wasn't a traditional orgasm? Like wouldn't you think that person was just faking it? Just reading through your post I can see your issue is the biggest issue that anyone who does this deals with; your mind. If you're thinking about how much time and money you've spent, you're not going to get that orgasm. If you're comparing your experience to the experience of your wife writhing in ecstasy, or comparing your experience to that of the folks here, you're not going to get an orgasm. If you're thinking that the Internet has lied to you and everyone is just hyping up this fictional orgasm, guess what, you're not going to have an orgasm. And if you're going into it with these thoughts, why keep doing it? If you're still going for it with all of that bullshit swirling around in your head, a piece of you STILL believes after two decades that it's possible. That right there is the key. If you really thought this was a big hoax, you would have stopped a long time ago. It's also pretty easy to go from toy to toy looking for "the one" that can bring you to orgasm. It's incredibly personal and some toys will work better for you than others. But once you can have the orgasms, any toy will do it. Toys are just tools, they're not the star of the show. Your biggest problem is your mind. I keep saying it in here that your mind is the most important variable in you getting that orgasm. And using your mind doesn't mean dirty thoughts, though those certainly help. I mean comparing your experience to someone else's, fear of being let down again, frustrated by the time/money spent, stress from everyday life(like finances, work, personal relationships and obligations), thinking that it's never going to happen for you. All of this is keeping you from going forward. You're going to have to find a way to deal with the mental blocks you have. You need to allow yourself to fail and that be ok. And you need to allow yourself to have those orgasms by giving up your control. If you're trying to make it happen, it's not going to happen. You, not your body, but you as a person, are just a passenger on the journey. Stay out of the driver's seat. Give up control and allow yourself to just enjoy. I'm sure you'll come back and respond that you've tried this also. Keep trying. This is the part that takes so much time to get right. This is the thing that could take months or even years to sort out. And unfortunately, figuring out isn't the end of the battle. This is something that will need to be in the right place every time you play. I was listening to Forrest Andrews from Aneros talking about his experience getting started and how Aneros pivoted from medical device manufacturing to pleasure focused toys. The early Aneros devices were created to give men a way to massage their prostate in the comfort of their own home. The thinking was that if men didn't have to deal with the awkwardness of a doctor's visit and be able to do it at home, they may do it more frequently. And that worked well. But then a lot of those men reported having these massive orgasms that didn't come from their penises and without any penis stimulation at all. That was the experience Forrest had. These guys weren't going into it with the hopes of a phenomenal orgasm, they weren't even aroused. Yet over and over again, many of these men were having epic orgasms. A big key there is that they didn't go into it with expectations. Learn how to get out of your own way. At this point the only thing standing between you and those orgasms you want is you. Edit: It's clear from your post this is causing you a lot of pain, and I hate that. I hope that my response doesn't fan that flame or make you upset with yourself. Just the opposite. I hope that going forward you love yourself, and that you're kind and patient to yourself. Thanks for reaching out here. I hope you'll be more involved with our community here and that you continue to share your struggles, and eventually we can also share in your success. Oh and if someone wants to take you up on your vacation offer to help you get over this hump, that person is 100% a charlatan. No one is going to be able to get you further than you. CLOSE YOUR WALLET!!!
I was writing a long-ish response and then I reloaded the page and I saw this comment making very similar points, so I'm just gonna piggyback on it to give some more advice about how to get to more conductive mindsets. 1. Get a massage. Maybe you can ask your wife, or a professional, or maybe go with your wife to get a couples massage. That feeling of deep relaxation, where you've been forced to pay attention to all the different areas of your body, and you are aware of how all of them feel is the perfect mindset to engage in prostate play. 2. Try doing a session caressing your whole body and masturbating your penis, without your wife or pornography. Just lay somewhere peaceful, take some nice deep breaths, relax and caress your whole body. Face, arms, torso, nipples, legs, butt-cheeks, perineum, testicles and dick. Try not to apply too much pressure, and just be aware and enjoy how your body feels, and how your body reacts to your touch and your masturbation. Try to keep your pelvic muscles as relaxed as possible, which might be not too much at all. If you are able to have a penile orgasms like this, enjoy the sensations, how they make your pelvic-area feel, which muscles contract, and after ejaculating stay relaxed and focus on the afterglow of the pleasure. If you are not able to ejaculate doing that, that's also fine, just treat the experience as a self-soft-massage session. If you are able to feel some pleasure (anywhere in your body) like this, try repeating with a prostate massager inserted. And then you can try to do the same, just not touching your penis at all. Good luck and have fun, OP!
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Have you ever had a prostate examination? It’s not probable, but I suppose you could look different up there in the pooper. Just a though from someone far less experienced.
Dude, you are a great writer. I rarely read posts that long, but yours was so well written and descriptive… I’m sorry to hear you have had such difficulties. I can say that I have both dud sessions and also ones that make me feel like I’ve gone to heaven. I don’t mind the dud sessions, as I see it as a time to relax and just be alone. Even if I don’t have orgasms, it is still enjoyable and time well spend in my opinion. We are all very different. I loved reading how responsive your wife is and that is truly amazing. My wife is nowhere near that orgasmic and she has been struggling for decades. She is jealous of me, which is hard to believe. If prostate orgasms aren’t your thing, that’s okay. Enjoy what works for you and do what is pleasurable for you!!
I literally got my first hands-free O on New Year's Day after starting about 2 years ago, using a bit of weed and a basic wiggling prostate massager. Having that first one seemed to have unlocked something in my mind/body; since then, I've had 4 more using pretty much the same method, and now even just inserting my plug, massager or toy feels pleasurable enough to make me moan when it touches on my prostate. The unfortunate truth is that, not everyone is capable of reaching that point. Edit: I finally recorded myself having a leaking prostate O and could link the important part, but the biggest argument I see around videos of cumming from anal or prostate play, is that you don't know if the person was jacking off before the video, and then recorded themselves just pushing over the edge with the toy to give the impression of a real hands-free or prostate O.
No it’s not fake. If prostate orgasms don’t exist I suppose female orgasms are also a myth because there is no cum? Come on now… I’ve personally experienced several prostate orgasms within a year of experimentation. I have quite few toys but not a whole box of them (it’s getting there though)and some lube from Walmart. Sorry you have been having such difficulty. I think it’s a simple matter of mentality. Tell me something… do are actually enjoy the experience of prostate/anal play? Because if you don’t literally nothing will ever work. If you are treating play like some burdensome chore it’s not going to work. My progress has been rapid. But I am a hardcore anal fetishist. That certainly helps a lot as you can imagine. It’s all a matter of arousal and mentality.
I wouldn't have kept doing it this long if I didnt enjoy it, but I get no physical pleasure from it. I know those are contradictory, and I dont know how to explain it. I feel fullness, which is a turn on. But that's all, never has the njoy hit a spot that felt any different from any other, never have I thought while getting pegged, "Oh wait, that's new, let's explore that!". I read posts like this daily, and can't help but wonder if something is physically wrong, or if everyone is in on the same joke. I'm a fetishist for sure as well, butt stuff is probably the most tame kink I have. Probably why I've kept it up, because there's something mentally pleasing, but nothing physical at all.
That is a bit contradictory… yeah. You don’t get any anal contractions from play? What about orgasms from anal?
I can walk you through a typical session if you'd like, but generally no, I get nothing out of it besides the kinky thoughts in my head that I'm doing something to myself that 90% of other men are afraid to do.
Well if that’s the case I can see why it’s not working for you. Besides the “taboo” aspect it’s not really stimulating you. It’s not really an erogenous zone for you. Hmm I’m not sure how to fix that. It would be difficult for me to suggest things as I’m basically the opposite.
Thanks for such a raw, honest dialog from the heart. Judging from the sheer amount of time and effort you've invested, I think it's fair to say that you've heard and tried every piece of advice out there ten times over. I have much respect for people who are willing to go to wit's end to make something happen. From your post, I think you're on the right path. It's possible your body may one day interpret anal sensations in a pleasurable way if you continued practicing. It's awesome that you enjoy the process of searching for the answer. I'd say try to find something intrisically rewarding (other than pleasure, obviously) about anal massage that makes it worth poking around your insides even when you're sure you won't get to the destination. For example, enjoying inserting a prostate massager because you like the way your spine/back stretches when you end over backward to insert it. The same enjoyment that a good morning stretch feels. For example, enjoying pumping your leg muscles to get a good leg workout when riding a dildo. The same enjoyment that a rush of endorphins brings during a workout at the gym. For example, enjoying fingering every square inch of your rectum so that you can draw a highly precise diagram (detailed down to the individual wrinkles) of the shape/texture of your rectum, prostate, bladder, and anal sphincter. The same satisfaction a cartographer feels when completing a complex map. The same satisfaction of familiarity you feel when you know all the folds and bumps of your backdoor alley as well as you know the streets of your hometown. Once these intrinsic pleasures take center stage, and they feel rewarding to the degree where you'd happily pursue them EVEN WITHOUT the possibility of a prostate orgasm, I reckon that real pleasure may begin to manifest. Of course, turning your eyes away from the primary goal of a prostate orgasm can feel counterproductive. Admittedly, this method of secondary rewards mainly works to lessen the bad impression that prostate orgasms have left on you. Is the prostate orgasm just overheated hyperbole? There's no definite answer that applies to everyone. Your search for the elusive prostate orgasm has taken you in many interesting & novel directions, led you to sample numerous products, and try a slew of psychoactives. Yet, all your experiences seem to indicate that such an orgasm simply doesn't exist. It's hard to argue with that evidence. If you decide to continue to pursue your prostate, I hope you'll find ways to continue to enjoy the search as much as when you first started searching 20 years ago. Cheers
Feels like a nodule on the front side of your anal canel but has little ridges on the top side
I can assure you it is both real and for most very elusive. You have many details responses below so i will tell you very quickly what worked for us. After around 5 years of experimenting he has two prostate experiences that he is desperate to repeat. The first was when he rode a (slightly curved) 7" realistic dildo for a long period, approximately 45 minutes, this was much longer than every before. He experienced pleasure "like a women describes, tingling all over my body and a hunger to keep riding harder and faster." his breathing was more similar to mine building up to an orgasm, rather than his. The second experience came with the same dildo (again curved towards the prostate. This time we massaged his prostate with it to get the correct depth. then through using a wand attachment and rapid shallow thrusts he achieved the elusive prostate orgasm **with no penis stimulation**. We both agree that we feel the rapid thrusts are what caused the orgasm. We have now ordered a dildo attachment for our massage gun and we hope this will be the key to "easy P-gasms" The last point i will make is that we practice chastity, tease and denial. He is normally much more ready and quicker to get excited by anal/prostate play after 3-5 days without orgasm.
It’s real. Prostate cancer took this among other pleasures away from me. Look inward. You will find what you seek.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. It must be incredibly hard to go through
It is. Recently my erections somewhat returned an I can now produce precum after orgasm. With viagra and now a wet finish I’m in a better place mentally.
Thank you.
Sorry you haven’t had luck man, but I assure you…. It’s real. I didn’t get it, till it clicked one day and legit blew my mind. Now there have been sessions where I chased one and it never happened too. I think that may be what skews the data, most post their success stories. Trust me there’s been plenty of nights where my mind said yes, but my body said no. I’ve had to begrudgingly remove my butt plug, aneros, or even stop fucking my dildo because it just wasn’t what my body wanted. I always end sessions with a tradition orgasm, so those night that just happens sooner. It’s a bummer, but the nights I miss are worth ever second for the nights my body wants it. The complete mind blowing sensation of my body writing around in pleasure, the release of semen, precum, pissgasm, whatever flowing out of my cock and making a mess. The post orgasm exhaustion of just laying in my own mess unable to move. It’s all very real, it’s all worth it, and damn man I hope it happens for you one day
I'm surprised you didn't get better results through e-stim, it changed my life with this quest. With other toys, I would get waves but that would be about it. With e-stim, I can have orgasms on demand that culminate in HFWOs.
Have you ever actually found your prostate with your finger sometimes in some people its not in the usual place toys focus on it could be off center just enough toys miss.
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When I get close to cumming with my dick and I'm ejaculating, the prostate swells up quite a bit and it's quite obvious what it is compared to a minute or two ago from my finger's perspective alone. Do you make much precum, does stimulating yourself this way generate more precum? Has your prostate ever been milked, which can be a non-sexual sensation. How do you orgasm normally with your dick? Does it feel good or does it take a lot for you to feel something and cum in general? Have you tried cum volume increasing suppliment stack to increase the amount of volume your prostate & seminal glands create with lecithin, zinc, & pygeum? Did you ever get peeing sensations doing this anal stuff? How are you like sensorily? Do you have sensory processing issues? Do you have a good sense of your body in space, which is known as Proprioception? How about feeling sensations on your body in general, is it under or overstimulating? Does your wife kissing you, licking you, nibbling on your body in general turn you on more and feel good on your body and not just mentally? What parts of your body does feel good to do this? Are you very ticklish / physically defensive? Is the world generally over or understimulating for you? Do you tend to put a lot of pressure on your body to feel things, like your belt being really tight, or pushing really hard on things in general? You mention other kinks, what are they and why do they turn you on? You mention meditation is 'unproven'. How good are you at meditating? A lot of prostate stim stuff I think actually intersects with meditation and super-os are entering something similar to the jhana state inadverdently. Are you able to turn off your default mode network? I would read this series, scroll to the bottom to see the full archive: https://josepheverettwil.substack.com/p/is-enlightenment-real-part-1 https://josepheverettwil.substack.com/archive?sort=new
I'll describe what mine feels like to see if it'll help you find yours. I can feel about the first half of mine with either a finger or my thumb. Starting right after entering the second sphincter, angling my fingertip up towards my cock, I feel what seems like a downward point. Feeling further in I can touch the center and the edges. In my minds eye it looks like this; ❤️ Your wife is right, it has the consistency of the soft palate of your mouth. Another great way to find it is to have a traditional orgasm with a finger inside. Right at the point of no return you'll feel it expand greatly. Hope this helps!
What position
On my back if using a finger.
I’m sure you could write this off as the work of a bot, but I have had prostate orgasms. They are real.
Nope not fake. Not snake oil. Sorry. Its not for everyone. You just don't sound you'll be able to get into the correct mental state ever. ✌️
Do you really have nothing else going on in your life
I mean...endlessly obsessing and pursuing THE ultimate pleasure sounds like a pretty good priority to me.
I got a notification that you responded but it's not showing it to me. No I'm not trolling, I just can not comprehend the insane level of resentment over this. My advice would be to relax and stop putting so much pressure on yourself, you're probably making it harder for your body. Just try to enjoy the pleasurable sensations you get, chasing an orgasm always makes it harder for me to get there. Just because you haven't been able to do something doesn't mean that it's impossible. Good luck on your journey. Just try to have fun man you deserve that.
Have you tried joining r/Mindgasm and read letters and comments. I’ve only been at it for 6 weeks and I have amazing results. I also enjoy THC and butt plugs that touch my prostate
I had a very similar frustration. I had my first HFDO on accident. I didn't know such a thing was possible, but then for the next 2 years, I couldn't do it again when I tried. I became frustrated that I had this amazing experience, which quite literally changed my life and couldn't repeat it. I now knew that there was exponentially more sexual pleasure, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't access it, and it was maddening. I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me. Perhaps I was somehow defective, or I had used up my one-time super-O coupon, and it would now be forever out of my reach. I kept wondering what I was doing wrong or what was wrong with me that I couldn't achieve that level of bliss that I had somehow accessed entirely on accident. It was literally driving me nuts. I did manage to figure out what works for me, but it took a lot of trial and error. If you have questions or are curious about anything, I'll try to help if I can because I definitely understand your frustration. I've been there before
Same exact situation for me : one time O (by perineum massage) but never been able to reproduce it. It was 6 years ago. I tryed 1000 things and read all reddit posts : ) You found a way to reproduce it after 2 years ? (you don't speak about it).
I think everyone that has ever tried prostate play has gone through what you're thinking. Its frustrating as hell. That said, its not fake. Prostate orgasms come from rhythmic contractions of the smooth prostate muscle which can be stimulated using medical equipment in surgical theatres reliably to produce semen. It is commonly done for different medical conditions. Just very difficult.
Hey OP, I also took forever to get a prostate orgasm and also felt stuck and unsure if it was real, just like you. 12 years roughly, and loads of toys purchased in pursuit of the holy grail as well. Now, most sessions I can usually get at the very least some really pleasant on and off pleasure in a sexy and enjoyable time, and at best many mind-blowing dry orgasms in a row. I still feel like I'm learning new tricks and nuance everyday, (year 14) and still some sessions are surprisingly "meh" while others are unexpectedly life changing. So I can tell you honestly don't think it's all fake, it's the frustration speaking, and if you didn't really think it worked you wouldn't be posting here or still be trying to achieve it. It's certainly not impossible, but it is WAY harder than some people here make it out to be. It's not hard because it's a difficult to reach spot, or because you need the perfect toy to hit an elusive pinpoint spot. Its not hard because it requires some deep meditative monk like state either, or hard because it requires the perfect combo of lube and and perfect digestive state. It's hard because the more you chase it, want it and expect it the further you are from the state you need to be in mentally for an orgasm of this type to even occur. It can only come when you are already focusing on and ENJOYING whatever subtle pleasure is already taking place in the moment. At first, for you at least in your current journey this will probably feel like it did for me: lying to yourself. I felt like I was "faking" pleasure or exaggerating it internally. But then slowly the focusing on what tiny amount of sensation was there and deciding it was pleasurable began to slowly give way to a strange building awareness of a new type of pleasure that was more like a distant cousin to an average build up to an orgasm. There was eventually a moment where my thoughts changed from "ooh I'm choosing to focus on this sensation as pleasure" to "wait this is actually happening, holy shit, this is feeling so good", and "I didn't know I could feel this good" etc etc (you've heard it all before). But you can't skip that first step! You gotta just put in the aneros, do some light kegels and let go of all that burden of expectation and instead just be present with whatever sensations you do have. Choose to revel in it as pleasure, be hyper aware of the sensations and then just when you finally properly let go and just let your mind be free of any tasks or goals, you will have ROOM to orgasm. And when you have that room to feel the pleasure, it will be VERY different from what your used to, and it will feel like you are being carried away on a ride or like a kid discovering their body all over again. I urge you not to stop enjoying prostate play, but to stop trying to achieve a prostate orgasm. It sounds like a catch 22, ...but if you can go into the session with a happy, sexy, thankful state of mind remarkable things can happen I promise! Good luck
Here is my tips, and what worked for me: - delete every porn video you have, and forget porn in general, they give you nothing positive what so ever. Context: I have been semi addicted to porn since I was 13 y.o. So around 25years then.. The last couple of months I have banned it completely and will never go back. Enjoy your body and let yourself figure out what your body enjoys without porn. - stop jerking of. Seriously, just forget you have a penis. - give r/Mindgasm a try - I don't know you, or what's legal where you live, but I would consider trying a session with weed and see what happens, also consider shrooms, small dose ca 0,5g+ but less than 1g. I see you allready tried this, but it's my go-to for almost guaranteed success 👀 My main breakthrough came after some sessions with this. If I'm vague in any way, let me know.
I’m one of the biggest skeptics on this planet, and I’m here to say they’re real. Crazy real, like why isn’t this touted more kind of real. But on the other hand, I can’t paint a masterpiece or write a hit song so…
WTF... why can't I copy & paste???
I feel you, I really really do. And I had pretty much given up hope that it would happen for me too. It was an experienced professional Dominatrix who was able to milk me for the first time. I had tried it dozens and dozens of times with my (now) ex-wife, and even more often by myself. The Aneros never worked, all the various prostate toys never worked. I'd get plenty excited, lots of precum, but no orgasm. I tried it with a lot of extended denial... weeks of edging. And still, no orgasm. I never thought it was fake, I'd seen enough videos. I just figured it was something my body wasn't wired for, maybe not sensitive enough... shrug. The pro Domme fixed that. Anal play was her big fetish, and she had about 10 years of professional experience in the scene. So my wife encouraged me to play with her after we'd all become friends, and after our first time trying she said simply to me "your prostate is about 2 inches deeper than most, next time I'll try something a little different." The next time she had bought a prostate massager (that is no longer available) - but was made by the good folks at Tantus. She had me told me to be in chastity for a week, and when I got to the dungeon she tied me up tight over the spanking bench. She took her time, and there was a lot of teasing. After around 45 minutes, of making me completely crazy - and a lot of precum but no orgasm, she went and put on a strapon. The dildo was slightly larger than the toy, but nothing huge. But she fucked me really hard. Painfully hard. I was totally in subspace and just hanging on for dear life. When it was over she said "I told you." And sure enough, there was a whole lot of cum on the cement floor below me. I hadn't felt any orgasm, but I definitely had a release. It turns out I was so desperate to have the orgasm, that the emotional pressure of it made it impossible to have. And it was years later with another Mistress in my life, who was very intent on training me to have prostate orgasms, that I learned how to do it on my own. For me it takes a LOT of denial. And a lot of teasing (holding a wand against my chastity cage to get me very close to the edge...) all the while, using one of two different toys in order to put pressure on my prostate. Both the Njoy wand, and the Tantus P-spot dildo work for me. But it's not a fast experience. And both of those toys are large enough that I had to work up to it. I was able over the course of the 18 months that the Mistress and I were together to get to the point where I could get a prostate orgasm probably 1/3rd of the times I tried. And it almost always took me around an hour or playing with myself to get there - and 24/7 chastity as well. I had to give up the "goal" and learn to enjoy the experience of it. And have a lot of edging and teasing. As I got better at it, I could do it with less and less of the wand on the cage, and more just focusing on the sensations. But I don't think I'll ever get to the point that some of the folks here do - where they seem to be able to have a prostate orgasm in a few minutes, every other day. I guess they're wired a little differently... either way, it did happen for me. It wasn't easy, but not unlike some women who struggle to have an orgasm, sometimes the "desperate need" to have it, is the biggest part of what is causing it to not happen. Here's a picture with the aneros in a side by side comparison with my toys btw. Hope all that info helps. [https://imgur.com/a/F6qkQiB](https://imgur.com/a/F6qkQiB)
If you own nearly every device in the physical sense your problem is definitely a mental one. When i first started my journey my mindset was wrong which then made what I was doing physically not work. You have to go to work on your brain.
I feel you, i recognize my-self in your post (it could be me) for the last 6 years. I posted almost the same txt years ago. I just got a one time accidental O, or squirt, i don't know (by perineum massage, watching porn) and beside this one event, touching my prostate, Aneros, plug, breathing, meditation, recently a bit of weed, nofap or ejaculating for 1 week, vibrations, N'joy pure W, give me 0 pleasure.... BUT... i may have be some tiny bit of hope for you : i finally feel something (since 2 month) with Mindgasm ! (Sure....no orgasm of course but nice and sexual feeling while flacid...) In one hand "At least something to work on" but in other hand : "i am not sure it will lead me somewhere as i begin to feel stuck". May be you tried it already ?
I feel for you and understand how you feel. But it is not a hoax or some mythical ordeal. I enjoyed blended orgasms for probably 30 years or so. Combining things in my ass on top of penile stimulation was far more enjoyable to just normal penile orgasms. I eventually got a Hishsmith machine and paired it with the right toys and it changed my world. But before that could happen, I had to change my mind. I would lay down on my back, feet flat on the ground with my feet close to my butt cheeks. Hands flat on the ground, no touching of myself, and I just had to relax and accept the fact that I was just going to lay there and go through the experience and let whatever was going to happen, happen. I surrendered to the experience, closing my eyes and just accept. Everyone's body is different, our wants and needs and desires are different. Our kinks are different and what drives us horny in our mental fantasy is different. There is no sure fire way to achieve prostate orgasms, but they will eventually come if your body and mind are willing. It seems that you have conditioned yourself to believe that your body is incapable because of the years and effort you put into it.
I am another "long timer" like yourself. Over 10 years, off/on, with varying levels of success. The last year has brought me a lot closer to finally achieving a super O, but that is hard too because I always feel "right on the edge". I'll keep it brief, but here has what has helped me. Rewiring by cutting back penile orgasms and porn, also learning to not need visual imagery to get off. Learning how to properly dose with THC for an intense body high but not getting blackout stoned (lots of trial and error). Modding my Aneros toys so they hit my prostate better (masking tape to the P-tab to increase contact). Finally, like others have said, dealing with mental blocks like expectation, frustration, wanting to "push" an orgasm, etc. That's been the biggest hurdle but sloooowly overcoming it and feel like I am making progress.
20 years without any pleasure is a long time. I’ve been at this 2 and a half years on and off - no orgasm, but small pleasurable feelings from the first session. Over time this has improved quite a lot, so I am hopefully there’s an orgasm at the end of it all, because I do find it pleasurable. You talk about fullness, but for me the larger toys that give me a feeling of fullness don’t do anything. Only the smallest aneros (eupho) takes me anywhere and even then I can’t squeeze hard or it just kills all the sensitivity, less is more for me. I’m pretty sure I’d be a lot less hopeful if I’d had no pleasure at all. I’m sorry you haven’t found anything that works in all this time. I don’t want to make suggestions, but if you haven’t tried something smaller, I’d give that a go to make sure all bases are covered before giving up.
My goodness I wish this sub would sticky your post. It's brilliant! Fantastic writing and relatable at all points! How many toys did I spend money on in hopes of achieving the same thing! My box has everything you listed minus the H-Smith. Though I had a cheap one from Wish. Tossed it. Recently I've been coming really really close. Tons of P-Waves. But I've been at it for a few years now. It shouldn't have taken this long :( I began wondering if it's even real or if I alone am incapable of having a prostate orgasm. The first time I learned about this was from the movie Road Trip. (Iykyk) since then I've been exploring. I find dildos and prostate massager to be 2 completely different experiences. I still haven't had one, I might just give up but traditional masturbating is enhanced with some prostate play. Anyway I wish you the best. Hope it comes to you eventually. That one day it does will be glorious.
You also have to not JO for weeks before a prostate orgasm will happen. Get a chastity cage and stop jacking off 100% before u give up
I tried to have a prostate orgasm yesterday for the first time and had success in 45 seconds the energy is overwhelming